7 Reasons to Lose the 40-Hour Work Week

October 31, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

A 40-hour work week is typical, involving five days of eight-hour shifts. While this schedule is an expectation for many people, it might not be an ideal work situation. Furthermore, a 40-hour week isn’t always flexible and can seem tedious. It might seem like you spend much of your life working, with little time for anything else.

Working five days a week for forty hours doesn’t support many people anymore. Many people think it’s beneficial since it’s normalized. However, putting in at least eight hours a day doesn’t always mean you’re being productive. It can cause burnout and affect personal and professional lives.

The History of the Standard Work Week

Working Monday through Friday during a 40-hour work week hasn’t always existed. Instead, workers during the 1930s fought to obtain this schedule after working many hours.

Before that, during the 18th century, some manufacturers required their employees to work more than 70 hours per week. This many hours meant many employees toiled long hours six days a week.

In the 1920s, some employers cut back to eight-hour workdays but continued to require six work days each week. Ford Motors was the first company to cut back to five work days each week after finding that their employees were more productive when working 40-hour weeks rather than 48 hours. However, most other companies maintained the 48-hour work week.

The employees who wanted a better life kept pushing for change. Their efforts resulted in the Fair Labor Standards Act in 1938, making previous working conditions illegal. It changed the standards for working hours, including requiring employers to pay overtime for workers putting in more than 44 hours each week.

In 1940, the standard workweek was updated to 40 hours, requiring overtime pay for anything more. While many people are accustomed to the 40-hour workweek, some activists believe the work-life balance could be better.

United States representative Mark Takano, for California’s 41^st congressional district, introduced the idea of a 32-hour workweek act. If passed, the bill would change the standard 40-hour workweek to only 32 hours weekly. This change would mean employers would pay overtime after 32 hours.

The 32-Hour Work Week

A full-time job typically consists of forty hours in a five-day work week. However, cutting back to 32-hour work weeks, four days a week, can increase productivity. Advanced technology also promotes productivity, speeding up processes and requiring less time.

A 32-hour work week would still involve benefits and a full salary. Employees will still maintain their workload, promoting productivity during those hours. It motivates them to get things done and enjoy more personal time.

Sometimes the 32 hours would involve a four-day work week. Other situations might require spreading those working hours over five days.

Seven Excellent Reasons to Lose the 40-Hour Work Week

Here are seven compelling arguments for ditching the 40-hour week for 32.

1 – Improved Workplace Morale

Working fewer hours boosts employee morale because satisfaction increases. When people work fewer hours, they can enjoy life a little more and spend time relaxing.

Employees also appreciate their employer more when they offer the opportunity for a healthy career-life balance. It makes employees want to do better and produce their best output. A shorter week also promotes teamwork and better-distributed responsibilities.

Working fewer than forty hours weekly also makes you look forward to going to your job. When you spend enough time away from your career, you can look forward to delving back in.

2 – Improved Attendance and Decreased Turnover

Employers may notice that their employees have better attendance when they work fewer hours. With improved attendance rates, there will be decreased turnover rates.

Employees will also appreciate their job more when they get more time off, making them want to stay. Plus, they’re more likely to show up for their shifts (on time) when they want to maintain the benefits of a flexible schedule.

3 – Increased Productivity

Working a typical eight-hour shift five days a week doesn’t mean you’ll be productive. Everyone is productive at different times of day, and it’s best to go along with what naturally works best for you.

Some people prefer to work nights, while others love working early in the morning. Forcing yourself to work during less productive times can interfere with your efforts.

Not everyone works best in the morning, so enforcing an early start time might not work for you. If someone must work during the morning when they’re more productive at night, it could lead to feeling sluggish during work.

4 – It Protects the Environment

When people work forty hours a week, it produces more carbon emissions. Activities like commuting to work five times weekly can increase the burden of climate change. Additionally, taking a processed meal or bottled water to work each day also contributes to your carbon footprint.

5 – Promotes Creativity and Innovation

When you work fewer hours, it can increase creativity and innovation. You’ll be more likely to find new ways to do things and save time. It helps you excel in your career and thrive in your personal life.

6 – It Allows for Parenting and Thriving in a Career

Working 40 hours a week makes it hard for parents to excel in all areas of their life. They often feel they must choose between their career and being a good parent. However, many parents can excel if they’re allowed to work a flexible schedule.

7 – Improved Time Management

If you know that you don’t have to work so many hours, you’ll be more likely to practice better time management. You won’t be as likely to put things off or engage in unproductive behavior during work.

Improved time management involves fewer distractions. When you know you have less work time in your week, you won’t spend as much time browsing the internet or chatting with co-workers. You’ll be less likely to give in to distractions when you have shortened work week to look forward to.

How to Be Productive with Fewer Hours in the Work Week

You’ll have to shift your mindset if you put in fewer hours in a given week. Getting into the habit of prioritizing tasks and getting things done in less time can be an adjustment. However, you’ll likely find it beneficial once you develop a new routine.

1 – Make a Realistic to-do List

Making a realistic to-do list with three or four essential tasks can help you get things done. You’ll likely have other things come up throughout your day, so don’t over-commit yourself.

Planning for no more than five hours is the best way to get everything crossed off your list. Overplanning can leave you feeling like you’re always falling behind, and it can become a toxic cycle.

2 – Create Beneficial Routines

Breaking up your day with routines and cycles can promote productivity while minimizing burnout. One idea is to start your day with an essential or creative task that requires individualized focus.

Finish this task before checking your e-mail or doing anything else. If you can’t accomplish the project in one morning, commit to focusing on it for a specific time.

3 – Take Un-Timed Breaks

When you get restless, take un-timed breaks if you have the option. Go for a run, take a short nap, or enjoy lunch without checking the clock. Sometimes relaxing without doing anything can help you.

Taking un-timed breaks offers the opportunity to refresh your mind and gain momentum. It also allows you to use your energy levels to guide your productive times of the day.

You’ll accomplish more in a shorter time if you follow your natural impulses and productive times. Not all careers allow for this but consider taking advantage and developing a routine like this if yours does.

4 – Bulk Mundane Tasks

Bulking mundane tasks can help you accomplish them in a shorter amount of time. Doing these tasks in the same timeframe can help when it’s time to focus on other tasks. If you have a bunch of mundane tasks lingering, you might have trouble focusing on the essential things.

Consider batching things like sorting, replying, and sending e-mails. You can also make multiple phone calls in one sitting rather than breaking them up throughout the day.

5 – Commit to Days of No Work

Plan for days of no logging in each week and stick to the commitment. It’ll help you finish things on the other days, so you aren’t worried about lingering work tasks during your time off. On your days off, avoid checking your company e-mail or responding to messages regarding your career.

If you have a partner, you can take on the challenge with them. Plan days together where neither of you does any work, and you do something fun or relaxing together. When you have something to look forward to, you’ll be more likely to get things done during your shortened work week.

Time off will help you feel refreshed and inspired when you return to work. You’ll experience less burnout, promoting productivity and motivation during your work time.

6 – Measure Your Productivity

Instead of measuring work hours, consider thinking in terms of productivity. Track your time spent on tasks during different times of the day and use the results to your advantage.

You can also measure in terms of your goals. Spending time on work might not help you get closer to your dreams, resulting in less satisfying results. Determine which tasks help you move ahead and which ones cause you to remain stagnant in your career.

Some of the aspects of your career you can measure include:

how many days in a row do you achieve your goal
your sales and which methods they came from
the results your efforts produced

7 – Find an Accountability Partner

Finding someone with the same schedule as you can help you stay productive during essential times. They can help you accomplish your goals, helping you stay on track to reach your dreams.

8 – Obtain Flexible Employment

If your company isn’t on board with you working fewer than 40 hours, it might be time to move on. You know what’s best for your life, and if it’s fewer working hours or a more flexible schedule, you can make it happen. Find a company that will work with your desired schedule because you deserve to live a meaningful life centered around something other than work.

Final Thoughts on the Arguments Against the 40-Hour Work Week

While the 40-hour week was an accomplishment in the 1930s, it could still use some improvement. There is more to life than work, and we can accomplish more when we have something to look forward to.

Knowing that you have more personal time will help motivate you to accomplish your career-related tasks in a shorter time. Plus, you’ll feel inspired when you return to the job after time off. Your employer will see that giving you your full salary for fewer hours is beneficial when you get the same amount of work done. Plus, the results will likely be better when you return to the office with a refreshed mind. Don’t be afraid to go after a healthy work-life balance because it benefits everyone involved and improves your well-being.

6 Ways Music Helps Children Learn to Read

October 30, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

Children love music. From the cradle, they listen to lullabies, and as they age, you’ll find that music is an integral part of their growing and learning. However, did you ever think those sweet melodies could help them learn to read?

There’s lots of evidence and studies about music’s benefits. Even stroke patients can learn to speak again when certain melodies are introduced into their brains. Have you ever had an MRI? Most people are terrified of those big, noisy machines like the CT and MRI machines. Yet, when they give you some tunes to listen to, it helps to ease the anxiety you feel. You’re less likely to concentrate on all the other stuff around you.

Learning to read is a difficult task for a young child. According to the US Department of Education, most children learn to read by age seven, and some even earlier. How can listening to melodies that get them singing and dancing help them to become a better reader?

Music and Learning Go Hand-in-Hand

In early childhood, many cartoons and shows geared toward kids use captivating melodies to get them to join in. If you’ve watched the program Blue’s Clues, you may notice that they sing and dance around when the mail comes. Of course, it’s not that exciting when the mail comes for you, but to a child, the melody motivates them.

The creators of this show will also write the word “Mail” across the screen and on the box. Your child will learn to recognize that word simply by association. The song, graphics, and carefully placed clues make it fun to learn new concepts.

The Northwestern University Auditory Neuroscience department conducted a study in 2014. The goal was to see if teachers’ use of instruments in other classes would improve the brain’s processing abilities. Nina Kraus directed the study, and the method to prove her theories was to use EEG machines to measure how the brain responded to the stimulation.

In their analyses, more than fifty percent of students dropped out early. However, when they brought melodies into other classrooms through a groundbreaking project, the retention rates were 93 percent. Additionally, many of these children went on to further their education.

Sadly, many school systems don’t have the resources to provide such benefits, and the children suffer.

Music and the Brain Project for Struggling Schools

It’s imperative to bring more melodies into the schools to enhance the learning of all types, but it’s essential for reading. Music and the Brain were created to help improve math, English, and literacy. The program is used in nearly three hundred schools across the country.

The 42nd St. Development Corporation funds the project. They conducted independent research studies first, starting in Queens, New York. They tested the children at the beginning and again at the end of the school year. However, they implemented this program that brought harmonies into the classroom.

The results were uncanny. Nearly twenty percent of the students in just one school increased their vocabulary. Additionally, over twenty-five percent had improved verbal sequencing. The students who didn’t participate in these therapies only showed a two percent increase in their vocabulary skills.

It’s not just theories that bring more melodies into the classroom works, as there’s scientific evidence behind them.

How Tunes Can Help with Literacy

Everyone has that certain song that transports you to another time and place when you hear it. Maybe you remember a past love, a special event, or even a movie that made your emotions spin. Melodies can motivate everyone, from a baby to a senior, and you can use this motivation to your advantage.

Did you know that singing along to your favorite song can lift your mood and make you happy? Why do you think they play songs at the gym while you’re working out? They know you will enjoy your routine better as you’re motivated by the melodies.

Regarding learning, these harmonies can stimulate the brain to help with literacy. Here are a few ways those jazzy beats can help your child’s reading.

1. Music Strengthens Attention and Focus

In early childhood, many parents find that keeping the focus and attention of their child is impossible. Their brain still has much learning and calming to do, so this area can make reading a challenge. Musical training requires them to focus, as it requires much attention.

When you put on some tunes that your child likes, it helps them to be more interested in the activities around them. Have you ever put on some songs while they were cleaning and doing mundane chores? They undoubtedly focused less on the tedious task and more on the vocals.

Reading requires your kid to be focused, but music can be the bridge that connects your child’s focus so they can learn.

2. Music Enhances Memory

Kids can remember anything except when you tell them to clean their room. Through the studies, experts have discovered that melodies are a great way to help link emotion and memory.

When it comes to reading, memory is vital as much of learning the alphabet is about memorization. For your child to develop comprehension skills, they need their mind to be sharp. When music is involved, your child’s memory can improve, and they will better understand learning concepts.

3. Lyrics Expand the Vocabulary

Early childhood requires your kid to learn new words. These words are based on their experiences. They usually say mom or dad first, which they hear repeatedly.

When you expose your child to certain melodies, it has a powerful effect on their little mind. Literacy requires them to learn more words to expand their vocabulary, and what better way to do that than listening to song lyrics?

While you probably have one genre you prefer, it’s best if you expose your child to all types. From classic tunes to hip hop and jazz, your kid will grow their vocabulary and apply what they learn to their education.

4. Music Increases Auditory Sequencing

Have you ever played the game “Memory?” It’s a fun game to play in early childhood as it helps recall. You must turn over the game pieces and find the match by remembering the other parts you previously turned over. Kids love it, but it’s very good at helping them develop their brain’s ability to organize.

The same things happen when they hear songs. They use auditory sequencing, which is imperative for reading. When your kids hear the tunes crank up fast or slow, they learn to distinguish between the two sounds.

A song follows a pattern; your child will hear it and respond. What’s happening internally is their brain is organizing these sounds in order, which they must learn to do for reading comprehension.

5. Childre Learn That Practice Makes Perfect

When your child learned to walk, they fell more than they took steps. They had to practice before they ever developed the ability. In early childhood, good practice habits are essential for reading and many other things.

Your child can enhance their learning instincts just by engaging in music. Why can some children quickly learn to play the piano at such a young age? Their brain is moldable, and their learning songs inspire and push them to do more.

6. Helps with Print Awareness

Print awareness is a fabulous thing when your child is learning literacy. Your kids can often recognize billboards, signs, and magazines without you telling them a thing. It’s because the backdrop for the picture catches their attention, and printed concepts help them learn through patterned text. The same goes when you let children read a printed lyric sheet synced with their favorite nursery rhyme or lullaby.

If you ever had to memorize a poem or song for school, you might have discovered that repeating it is the best way to learn this. The more you quote it, the easier it is for your brain to remember it. In early childhood, many teachers help with literacy by introducing chants and rhymes to help them learn new concepts. Even simple songs about tying their shoe help them to learn.

Teachers learned that during these songs, they could provide opportunities for language experience. When the child sees the exact words printed on materials, they will identify these words simply by the configurations and similarities.

Final Thoughts on Increasing Literacy Through Music

Reading can be a significant hurdle for the child and parent to overcome. Thankfully, the power of music can help your child to expand their mind and pump them up for reading. Some people focus and learn better when tunes are playing in the background.

Even the masterminds behind famous cartoons have learned that if they can introduce concepts through song, they can be more than just entertainment. The more they can teach kids early in childhood, the more likely the parent will let them watch the show. It boosts ratings and helps your child.

Finding ways to make learning fun is imperative. Allowing your child to learn to play an instrument or to engage in quirky melodies while reading helps them flex their brain muscle and grasp these new concepts. It may be just what you need to help your child with this crucial step in their education.

UK Town Joins Plant-Based Treaty for the Future

October 30, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

In a historic move, a United Kingdom town became the first in Europe to join the Plant-Based Treaty, an initiative encouraging a vegan diet. The West Sussex town of Haywards Heath — with a population of about 34,000 people — endorsed the agreement on July 21, 2022.

The treaty aims to halt the destruction of ecosystems caused by animal agriculture and promote a global shift to plant-based diets. In addition, the treaty pledges to restore ecosystems and biodiversity in areas decimated by intensive animal farming.

The treaty lists 38 demands separated into three distinct categories. The first category, Relinquish, details actions cities can take to prevent the problem from getting worse. The next category, Redirect, offers solutions to help cities transition from animal agriculture to veganism. Finally, Restore focuses on ways to heal critical ecosystems, reforest the planet, and mitigate climate change.

What Haywards Heath Town Management Says About the Plant-Based Treaty

While the Haywards Heath Town Council signed the treaty, it will not direct residents to follow its guidelines. However, the council will share information and educate the community about the many benefits of veganism. It also launched an environmental awards initiative for businesses and schools that reduce food waste and promote plant-based diets.

Haywards Heath Town Council spokesperson said in a press release: “The council has taken a science-based approach to the climate crisis using research from project drawdown to provide a solid scientific foundation. While the Town Council cannot build large solar farms or wind turbines, we can educate and encourage the local community to reduce food waste and move to plant-based diets to reduce CO2 emissions, activities which are as impactful as a large-scale move to green energy!

“Not only this, a move to plant based foods helps increase global biodiversity, will improve the local community’s health, and, importantly, reduce weekly food bills. Having already supported the 2022 Veganuary initiative, endorsing the Plant Based Treaty was the obvious next step in an ongoing journey for Haywards Heath Town Council.”

Who Signed the Treaty Endorsing a Vegan Way of Life?

In August 2021, coordinators and campaigners from around the globe introduced the Plant-Based Treaty. A companion to the Paris Agreement, the landmark international treaty puts our food systems at the heart of combating climate change. So far, 18 cities worldwide have endorsed the treaty, including the City of Boynton Beach, Florida. Other cities that have signed the treaty encouraging veganism include:

Rosario, Santa Fe in Argentina
City of Buenos Aires, Argentina
Bhuj City, India
Bhujpur City, India
Jabalpur City, India
Nagpur City, India
Amravati City, India
Thane City, India
Vadodara City, India
Ahmedabad City, India
Bhavnagar City, India
Mundra City, India
Jamnagar City, India
Rajkot City, India
Sonipat City, India
Gandhinagar, India

In addition to cities, 827 businesses, 832 organizations, and 48,302 individuals have endorsed the treaty promoting veganism.

What Does the Plant-Based Treaty Do?

The treaty includes three core principles:

1 – Relinquish

No building of new animal farms or slaughterhouses
No expansion or intensification of existing farms, including fish farms
No conversion of plant-based agriculture to animal agriculture
No land use changes for animal feed production
No deforestation for animal grazing, rearing, or farming
Protection of Indigenous peoples and their land, rights, and knowledge
Ban all live exports
No new large-scale industrial fishing vessels

2 – Redirect

Declare a climate emergency, as 1,900+ local governments in 34 different countries have already done
Focus on ending poverty and hunger and greater access to nutritious food in all nations
Provide better support for small farmers
Prioritize a switch to vegan diets in Climate Action Plans
Update government dietary guidelines to promote whole, plant-based foods
Raise awareness about the importance of veganism through education in schools and public information campaigns
Transition to plant-based meal plans in schools, hospitals, nursing homes, prisons, and government institutions
Include cancer warning labels on processed meats, which the WHO declared carcinogenic
Tax meats, including fish, with proceeds funding land restoration for areas degraded by animal farming
Subsidize fruits and vegetables to make veganism more affordable and accessible for low-income families
End government subsidies for animal agriculture and advertising, and redirect funds to the sustainable production of vegan foods
Create green bonds to support a transition to a plant-based economy
Provide financial support and training for farmers, ranchers, and fishermen to transition from animal agriculture to plant-based food production

3 – Restore

Launch reforestation projects in neglected ecosystems, using native tree species to restore habitats
Expand zero fishing Marine Protected Areas (known as Highly Protected Marine Areas — HPMAs) in the world’s oceans
Ban fishing in existing Marine Protected Areas
Replant seagrass beds and other vital plants that absorb carbon
Restore damaged ecosystems that are critical for carbon sequestration: mangroves, peat bogs, forests, some grassland varieties
Subsidize farmers and landowners who demonstrate excellent land stewardship and restoration (such as carbon sequestration, biodiversity, flood prevention, and general climate change resilience)
Subsidies made available for rewilding and reforestation projects
Cities: increase planting of trees and flowers, expand green community projects, wildlife corridors, green rooftops, local growing initiatives, and biodiversity
Enhance food security by making healthy food and veganism accessible for everyone, especially low-income communities of color
Repurpose available land previously used for animal agriculture by rewilding, reforestation, returning land to Indigenous people, nature reserves, hiking areas, and community gardens
Return some land ownership to communities for reforestation, green areas, and community food growing

They expect that more cities and businesses worldwide will endorse the treaty so we can further protect and restore the planet.

Final Thoughts on the Plant-Based Treaty for the Future

A small United Kingdom town in West Sussex became the first in Europe to sign the Plant-Based Treaty. The goal is to stop the degradation of ecosystems by focusing on how we produce our food. Numerous studies show that animal agriculture dramatically contributes to climate change and biodiversity loss. So, the treaty aims to promote a shift away from the consumption of animal products to veganism.

So far, eighteen cities and thousands of individuals and businesses have signed the treaty.

20 Signs of Toxic Love in a Relationship

October 30, 2022 by Chris Butler

You’ve probably heard about toxic relationships, but do you know how dangerous it is to be in this situation? These relationships involve toxicity–behaviors from one or both parties that are damaging or harmful to one another. When you’re together, you seem to push each other’s buttons, creating toxic love.

In some relationships, one person might feel scared or even frightened of their partner. Of course, that situation takes things to a whole other level regarding toxicity. If you’ve ever asked yourself if you’re toxic or if your relationship is full of negativity, it’s time to find out.

Twenty Red Flags of Toxic Love

You want the perfect relationship. But just because you find the person you consider your soul mate, it doesn’t mean everything will be smooth sailing. One or both of you may have some toxic traits that can impact the relationship. Here are some warning signs to look for in your connection.

1. Jealousy Reveals Toxic Love

It’s natural to have a little jealousy when you’re in love. However, if jealousy makes one of you control the other or see red, it’s a sign of toxicity. The jealous person will put you down, try to make you feel unworthy, and do everything in their power to control you. The truth is they have low self-esteem and are afraid of losing you.

2. Blame Games Are Part of Toxicity

Loving relationships are supportive and understanding. However, toxic ones are full of negativity and blame games. The poisonous partner will blame you for everything, which could be over the smallest of matters, as nothing is ever their fault.

3. Constant Stress

When you live with chronic negativity, it makes you feel on edge. You’ll experience constant stress, and it can affect both your mental and physical well-being. You don’t get the comfort of being yourself, as you feel you must put on a show to be who they expect you to be.

4. Hostile Communication Comes From Toxic Love

Toxic love leads to hostile communication. When you speak to one another, there’s name-calling, sarcasm, and criticism. You may get to the point where you do nothing but yell at one another. As a result, you avoid each other to keep these interactions from occurring.

5. Psychological Harm

Living with heated arguments, being demeaned by your partner, constant lying, and manipulation takes a toll on your psychological health. When people refer to carrying baggage from previous relationships, it’s because of situations of toxic love.

6. Toxic Love and a Lack of Trust

Loving relationships are formed with a foundation built on trust. Sadly, when this foundational building block is missing, many parts of your union will suffer. If you don’t trust one another, how can you go on?

Elisabetta Franzoso is a life and wellness coach in London. She’s passionate about relationship rebuilding. She states that the lack of trust must be recognized, addressed, and managed. You can rebuild from this issue, but some of the other problems listed here are not as easy to fix things and reconstruct.

7. Feeling Unworthy Reveals Toxicity in a Relationship

The toxicity of troubled relationships is that often one party feels unworthy. You don’t try to find someone better because you believe you can’t. You blame yourself for all the things that go wrong in your toxic love, and you accept the verbal and physical abuse as you feel you’re deserving.

8. Resentments And Frustrations

Even loving relationships come with their share of troubles, but the negativity and not addressing these concerns make it toxic. Some people hold grudges against one another, while others use passive-aggressive methods to let you know they’re upset. Toxic love makes you miserable.

9. Unrelenting Problems

There’s no perfect relationship as there’s always going to be trouble. Loving relationships work on the issues and confront them rather than pushing them under the carpet. The real issue is that one person is ready, willing, and able to work on the problems, but the other has no interest in fixing the toxicities.

10. Loneliness Reveal a Toxic Love Relationship

You can be in a committed relationship surrounded by people and still feel all alone. The loneliness you feel comes from the lack of intimacy between you and your partner. Associations must have a personal and intimate connection, or it won’t work.

11. You Walk on Egg Shells

When you’re with your partner, you feel uneasy and on edge. You want to avoid an argument or altercation, so you tiptoe around them. You’re very pleasing so that you don’t set them off, which is a clear example of toxic love.

12. Controlling and Manipulative Behavior

There’s much toxicity in someone who tries to control and manipulate their partner. This person acts like you’re a puppet on a string and keeps you on a tight leash. Some toxic love situations go as far as telling you how to dress and act.

13. Toxicity Often Leads to Feelings of Uncertainty

When you’re in a situation filled with toxicity, it’s only natural to be concerned about the future. You don’t know what tomorrow will bring or where you will be. You may even question if you’ll be alive in a situation filled with negativity and abuse. It’s a very uncomfortable position for you to be in.

14. Disrespect

A disrespectful partner does not put you first in anything. They’re out for themselves and only think of their own needs. It’s sad because you risk your self-respect for a person that does nothing but bring toxicities to your life.

15. Toxic Love Reveals Itself in a Lack of Support

In loving relationships, your support and encouragement for one another keep things going. When the negativity surrounds you that a toxic relationship brings, you don’t get help from one another. You may not try for that new position or to reach your goals because there’s no positive reinforcement.

16. Things Aren’t 50/50 With Toxicity in the Relationship

It will help if you put a lot of effort into making a relationship work. The idea is that each person puts in 50 percent of the effort to equal 100 percent happiness. The problem is that the toxic person doesn’t want to give anything and expects you to do everything to keep your relationship going. Loving relationships don’t work this way, and it’s about give and take.

17. Physical Abuse

Toxic love has its share of problems, but perhaps one of the biggest downfalls is physical abuse. No one should ever put their hands on you except in love. Whether pushing, shoving, grabbing you hard, or doing anything to cause physical pain doesn’t matter. It’s putting toxicity into your relationship, and these are wounds that are on the outside as well as the inside.

Ironically, people believe that men are always abusers of women. However, National Coalition Against Domestic Violence statistics show that 1 in 25 men are victims of domestic violence situations. Though the prevalence of women is higher at 1 in 4 people, it’s time to highlight female-to-male domestic violence problems.

18. You Give Up Your Life to Please Your Partner

Many people put their hopes and dreams on hold to keep things together with their relationship. While letting some things slide for true love is okay, the negativity that comes with these toxic situations is not worth the effort.

You might put off a trip with your friends because you know it could lead to a week of not speaking or another form of retaliation. Toxicity is often the basis for people trying to keep others happy to avoid such retaliation.

19. Gaslighting

Has your partner ever manipulated you to the point where you doubted your sanity? Gaslighting is a prevalent issue that’s come to the forefront. They want to blame you or spin things so that you will doubt yourself. They will do anything to take the focus off their actions.

20. Constant Criticism

Nothing you do is good enough for your partner. They expect you to live by a strict set of rules to keep them happy, but even when you do your best, it’s not enough. They may criticize how you dress, your makeup, hair, attitude, cooking, and anything else about you to get under your skin. Loving relationships aren’t like this; you don’t have to stay in such a horrible situation.

Final Thoughts on Toxic Love

You will find plenty of fish in the sea, and you don’t have to stay with a toxic partner. If you ever go fishing, you must be careful if you get your hook in some species of fish, as they’re dangerous. The catfish is one of them. While the catfish is often used in southern cooking, there’s a specific way you must get it off the hook to avoid injury. The barbels of catfish are dangerous and can cause serious tissue necrosis. Thus, many people will cut them free rather than risk being stung.

The dating pool is much the same as a day on the lake. You must be careful about who you bring into your life. While they may appear to be a good catch, the end can be catastrophic. Toxic love can damage you, so it’s best to walk away sooner rather than later.

How Cats Communicate With Humans, According to Vets

October 30, 2022 by Power of Positivity

Like dogs, cats are constantly communicating with their humans. They vocalize, pose differently, and move their tails, ears, and eyes to let their humans know what they want and need. Learning to read feline communication is vital if you wish to have a happy kitty. Here are some of the main ways your cat communicates with you and what they’re trying to tell you.

Cats and their expressive vocalizations

Here are the ways kitties “talk” to their human friends.

1 – Chirping

They’re not birds, but your feline friend does chirp. It sounds like a meow but with more of a rolled tongue rather than an open mouth. Mama kitties chirp to get their kitten’s attention. When your cat chirps, it usually shows they’re giving you or another cat a friendly greeting. Vets suggest you chirp to greet your feline friends when they rush to meet you. They’ll understand what you’re saying.

2 – Meow

Meowing is your cat’s primary way of communicating with you. This all-purpose form of communication means different things depending on your cat. As you understand your cat, you’ll learn precisely what their meows mean and how to respond to each one of them.

3 – Howling

A kitty’s howl may send a chill up your spine. This is because it’s a cry for help. Felines howl when they feel threatened or are in trouble. They sometimes howl when angry, but angry yowls usually accompany these. If your feline is howling, there is a good chance they want your help right away. Go find out what’s going on.

4 – Hissing

Similar to howling, when a cat hisses, they feel threatened. Although cats avoid confrontation, they’ll hiss to warn the culprit to back off because they’re about to attack. Don’t underestimate your cat’s hissing. If you ignore it, you’re apt to get a good scratch on your nose from your sweet pet.

5 – Panting

Felines rarely pant except in sweltering weather or after giving birth. When a cat pants, it usually shows fear or excitement. If your cat pants, keep an eye on them because they could be ill and need medical attention.

6 – Purring (humans love this about their cats!)

Most people have heard a cat’s melodious purring sound. While it often means your feline is content, it could mean they want you to stay close by because you’re stroking their fur. This comfort-seeking sound is a classic cat vocalization. They love to be near their humans, especially those who pet and stroke them.

Understanding feline facial expressions and the body language of cats

7 – Cats rubbing against your legs

Besides communicating by vocalization, your furry friends can communicate with their bodies. If you’ve had a cat rub against your legs, it means they like you. Think of it as your cat giving you a little hug. It’s their way of saying, “I’m glad you’re here.”

8 – Tail talking

Kitty tails can’t talk, but they sure communicate with humans. Like dogs, their tails let you know how they feel. A happy kitty lifts their tail with relaxed fur, but a straight bottom with a tight coat means they’re a little peeved at you. When a cat tucks their tail between its legs, they’re anxious or worried about something. A quick, thrashing tail means you might get scratched if you don’t watch out. Be sure to learn what their tail communicates to you, or you might get hurt.

9 – Ear communication

The changing position of your cat’s ears means different things. When your kitty’s ears flatten against their head, they’re angry and ready to attack. Straight, relaxed ears communicate calmness. Your cat’s ears change their position quickly. They’re always on alert. So keep an eye on those ears if you want to understand what your feline is saying to you.

10 – Blinking their eyes

An extended, slow blinking means your kitty enjoys being around you. It’s your cat’s way of letting you know they accept you. It’s thought that kitties do this in response to a low-stress hormone in their body. You can return the sentiment with some cat communication by blinking slowly at your feline.

11 – Staring at you

While blinking is usually a good sign, a cat that stares at you feels threatened. Alpha felines do this to establish their territory and intimate other cats into submission. So, if you notice a cat staring at you, give them some space.

12 – Poses and postures

Cats posture their bodies in such a way to communicate with their humans. Their posture usually communicates how they feel about you or other animals around them. Depending upon the situation, their stance can be aggressive or friendly. Here are some common poses you’ll notice with your cat.

Stretching pose:

Kitties will stretch when they’re relaxed and comfortable. Laying on the ground with their belly exposed means they’re comfortable enough to show vulnerability. They trust you and the environment around them. Don’t be fooled into thinking your kitty isn’t on guard. Even when they’re relaxing, your kitty observes what’s going on around them. They quickly roll over, with claws out to defend themselves instantly.

Side-lying:

Lying on their side is another familiar, relaxed pose. Legs bent behind them, legs straight out behind them with a loose tail. This is a classic calm kitty posture.

Yawning:

Although it’s not exactly a pose, it means yawning signifies relaxation. This yawn usually has no teeth because they aren’t upset, just being a laid-back kitty.

Tense posture:

Your cat communicates they feel tense when they slink around the house or your backyard. This protective pose keeps your cat close to the ground with its ears alert and tail twitching. They’re on the prowl, guarding their territory against predators.

Anxious pose:

Similar to their tense pose, the back part of their body is lower when they walk around. They are worried and may curl up, bringing their tail close to their body. If your kitty does this, you can reassure them you’re there to protect them from whatever makes them anxious.

Fearful pose:

A cat gets into this position when they feel afraid. They breathe heavily, crouch low to the ground, and curl their tail. This is to make themselves look more petite and lower to the ground. Your cat may arch its back and back away. Cats don’t like to fight but will, when backed into a corner, can’t run away.

Confident pose:

A confident kitty walks comfortably with its tail held high. You may notice your cat walking around the house looking comfortably secure, saying they’re pretty darn happy to be the cat of the house.

Startled pose:

You’ve seen this cat pose. The cat’s back arches, the fur on their back bristles, and their tail straightens. Your cat may do this when a dog approaches, and they feel threatened. Sometimes little kids make cats feel threatened and afraid. Try to comfort your kitty with gentle words, but don’t pick them up. It’s best to remove the threat and allow them time to calm down.

What other things does your cat want to communicate with you?

Naughty behavior: Your cat may communicate with their “bad” behavior. Don’t assume they’re being naughty because they may want to tell you something. If your cat is upset, they might express unhappiness by leaving you a little “surprise” outside their litter box. This could mean something is off with them. Perhaps they don’t feel well. Maybe someone pushed them off their favorite chair, and your feline wants to tell you they’re upset. They know you love them and will help them. So that’s why they’re trying to communicate with you.
They’re curious creatures: Don’t forget your cat is curious. They may hide in uncharacteristic places like your dryer to get your attention. Kitties love the coziness of the dryer, but it’s a dangerous hang-out for them.
They love attention: Give your cat lots of attention. Offer toys for entertainment when you leave during the day. They love to play with cardboard boxes and tubes.
Keep them safe: Always spay or neuter your feline and microchip them if they sneak outside under your nose.

Final thoughts on understanding what cats tell their humans

Some people say kitties don’t communicate as much as dogs, but this isn’t true. Cats communicate with their humans just as much as dogs. Your feline friend needs to be loved and given lots of attention. You are their family, and they must feel understood by you. You must learn the many ways your cat communicates with you. They vocalize with meows, howls, and purring.

Besides vocalizing, these pets use their tails, eyes, and posture to communicate their feelings. If your cat suddenly acts “bad.”

Indeed, it could be they are trying to get your attention. Perhaps they’re sick, or something happened to them, and they’re trying to tell you. Felines are social, highly emotional pets who need a human who values them. Part of loving your sweet kitty is learning their language so you’ll understand when they communicate with you.

Counselor Explains 6 Causes of Conflict Between Parents and Children

October 29, 2022 by Chris Butler

If you’ve raised children or are in the process, you know it’s no walk in the park. Some days you’re their hero, and there are other days when you’re a zero. The fact is that parents have a hard road to walk, as parenting is one of the most challenging jobs around.

Maybe you’re at the end of your rope with your child and don’t know where to turn. You can rest assured that you’re not the only parent who’s ever contemplated getting in your car and making a run for it. Parenting means you must make tough choices, and your kids are typically not jolly recipients.

You might be rich if you got a nickel for every time you and your child had a parenting conflict. The key is to pick your battles, strive to be the best parents, and know that you will all make mistakes along the way. You hope the result is a happy and well-rounded child who resents your mistakes when when they grow into adulthood.

Remember, there’s no perfect childhood, but you can do your part to make it the best you can. Disagreements are inevitable, but what you do in these times counts. When you step into this vital role, conflict resolution skills are imperative.

6 Common Conflicts Between Parents and Children

You’ve often heard that children should come with an instruction manual, but no book can help you a hundred percent. Admit it; sometimes, you must wing it. There will be disputes, as they’re unavoidable, But when you identify the common parenting conflicts, you can learn how to prevent issues before they erupt.

1. Lack of Empathy on the Part of the Parents

One of the hardest things for parents to understand is that their child fights genuine issues daily at school. Most folks see it as they work forty or more hours a week, so going to school is easy. The truth is that school is a very stressful environment for your child.

Not only is your kid struggling to make friends and fit in, but they might encounter bullies and overwhelming peer pressure. Another primary concern is they’re there to get an education and make good marks. They want to please you, their teacher, and their friends, and it’s all a bit much to take on.

It’s commonplace that parents shut down their children or tell them they’re whining when they are tired and want to sleep after school. You must look at things through their eyes and step into their shoes for a minute. Yes, you work hard every day and have a lot of pressure on your shoulders, but you should never downplay the tensions and struggles your children face.

Your child’s problems are just as real to them as your issues are to you. Staggering numbers were released from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Their studies found that 9.4 percent of children from ages three to seventeen struggle with depression and anxiety.

The next time your child is irritable and whining, remember that one out of every ten children will fight mental illness. It’s undoubtedly eye-opening and can help you keep things in perspective.

2. Parents Refuse To Let The Kids Grow Up

There are different parents, and some are stricter than others. The key to raising a well-rounded child is to allow them to grow and mature without you hovering over them like a helicopter parent. Sure, the world is scary, and you want to protect your kids, but you must learn to cut the safety net free a little at a time.

One of the biggest arguments a parent faces with their child is that they don’t want to let them grow up. Though you want to keep them little, if possible, you must let them grow and mature. Things like wearing makeup, going to a friend’s house for a sleepover, and wearing more mature clothes are usually hotspots for arguments in parenting.

There’s nothing wrong with these things if they’re done decently and safely. Teach them how to dress appropriately, and you should allow them to have more freedom as they grow.

3. Parenting and Favoritism

Do you show favoritism to one child over another? While most parents say they don’t have a favorite, your actions might speak louder than your words. Remember that you’re likely closest to the child who needs you the most now as they go through ebbs and flows in life.

Make sure you divide your time, money, and everything in-between equally with your kids. Sure, some kids make it more challenging to have a relationship with them based on their attitude or personality, but you must make sure everything is always equal. Kids notice the slightest differences and will use these things against you.

4. Parenting Takes a Lot of Time

One of the most significant issues parents face today is a lack of time. There are 168 hours in the week. You work forty or more, sleep roughly fifty or so, and have many other duties. It leaves little time for you to spend with your children.

Your kids need you. Sure, they need you to go to work and provide a living for them, but they want to spend time with you. You don’t have to take them to an amusement park or a fun center to spend quality time together; they just want your attention.

Playing a board game in the evening is exciting for some children. Others want to tell you about their day, color a picture together, or bake some brownies. The more time you invest in your relationship, the fewer struggles and parenting conflicts you’ll experience.

A study published by the National Library of Medicine found that mothers spend more time with their kids than fathers. Additionally, after interviewing over a thousand kids, most see or spend about an hour a day with their parents. One hour is barely enough to learn about their day, eat dinner, and get baths for the night; it’s just not enough.

It’s time to put down your cell phone, turn off the work laptop, and be present with your child. You’ll blink, and they will be grown, and you will have many regrets about the time you didn’t spend with them.

5. Being Unfair with Discipline

Parenting means you must keep law and order in your home. When a conflict occurs, you must handle the issue and see if punishment is warranted. You can ensure your child won’t like the discipline you hand down, but it’s a teaching process where correction is essential.

Some parents want to throw the book at their children when they do something wrong, and it’s commonplace for some to overreact. It would help if you made sure the punishment fits the crime. If you catch your child in a lie, you might want to ground them from video games for a day or two.

However, grounding for a month over a small lie would be unrealistic. Some people have a real issue with bringing past transgressions into the punishment, which is also unfair. Try to calm down before you hand out your sentence. Make sure you’re only judging in this instance and not using your anger to get back at them for everything they’ve done wrong in life.

6. Kids Not Doing Their Chores or Household Responsibilities

If you have a teenager, you likely know that their room might resemble a city dump. There are likely water bottles and snack cake wrappers as far as the eye can see. There are piles of laundry that you know you’ve washed, and they’ve never worn lying on the floor. While this aggravates, you must understand that this is typical behavior for a child.

You must teach them the proper way to keep their room, and you should shut the door and pray for the best. There are some things that you can’t let overwhelm you. Children will buck the system and fight you on keeping their room clean, doing chores, and completing homework.

As parents, you should know these are typical arguments and conflicts within a home. Being prepared with help you to keep eruptions from happening. Chore charts work great for children up till their teenage years. They can see what’s required of them, know the consequences if they don’t do it upfront, and it can prevent some altercations.

Final Thoughts on Conflict Between Parents and Children

Your motto as a parent should be “I always want you to go as far as your wings will carry you.” Letting go is one of the most significant issues you face in child-rearing, and it’s the cause of much conflict. Does any of the six issues above resonate with you? Perhaps you can add a few more to the list.

Being a good parent means listening and communicating with your child. You won’t always do things just right, but they will love and respect you for trying. Mom and Dad, give yourself a brake. You’re trying and doing a great job, and one day they will thank you for your wisdom and guidance.

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