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10 Behaviors That Break Trust In A Relationship

November 15, 2022 by Chris Butler

Having a great relationship is a balancing act. Not only do you need to ensure your needs are met, but you also must be considerate of your partner and their desires. There are times when things are going well. But if someone has done something to destroy trust, you might believe it’s time to give up. Can you fix this?

There’s a proverbial line drawn that they can’t go back once a couple crosses. This line includes usually includes infidelity. How can people move forward when the one supposed to love them hurts them so badly?

10 Behaviors That Destroy the Trust of a Partner

Have you done things that have made your partner distrust you? Would you forgive yourself if the roles were reversed? Here are ten behaviors that might make your relationship rocky or even destroy it.

1. You Destroy Trust if You’re Not Honest

If you lie to your spouse, you will destroy your trust. Sometimes people lie because the truth is too painful to admit, or they want to keep the other person from getting hurt. You can rest assured that they will be more hurt by your deception than they will by the truth.

Though it’s challenging to be honest when you’ve done wrong, it’s better to get it out in the open and deal with the situation. Lying is never an effective way to hide something, as it will always come back to haunt you.

2. You Haven’t Been Faithful

Faithfulness in a relationship is one of the top concerns. According to Infidelity Statistics, 90 percent of people in this country think that affairs are wrong, but more than 50 percent of all committed relationships will eventually face infidelity. Regardless of the situation, getting over such a devastating blow is hard.

Still, you can work through this situation and go forwards, but you must be willing to forgive and rebuild your trust.

3. Manipulative Behaviors Will Destroy the Trust

A manipulative person might use gaslighting to keep another person in check. If you play mind games and use your relationship for personal gain, you will find that your faithfulness to your partner is skewed. Dealing with a narcissistic personality disorder can make the other party distrust you and your motives toward them.

4. You’re Not Trustworthy

Being trustworthy is about more than lying. You can ruin the trust between one another by not having each other’s best interests at heart. For instance, if your partner tells you something personal and doesn’t want to get out, you can ruin your trust by gossiping.

They will think twice about telling you anything further. Not only does it show that you’re not trustworthy, but you also lack dedication. How can they trust you when you tell their intimate secrets to others?

5. You Don’t Express Your Feelings

Keeping your feelings hidden can be a big issue. It would help if you were honest enough to say what’s on your mind and express how you feel. When you suppress these emotions, the other person doesn’t know what’s wrong or how to fix it.

It can be overwhelming to have someone emotionally closed off to their partner. It may appear you’re playing games or have an issue with them.

6. You Destroy Trust When You Can’t Accept Their Friends & Family

Every person wants their friends and family to love the one who stole their heart. However, if you don’t have the same respect and love in return, it can tense the situation. When you commit to someone, their family and friends come with them as a package deal.

You’ve heard stories of in-laws that sabotage relationships, but there must be some mutual respect. When you marry someone, you also marry their family.

7. You May Destroy Trust if You Have a Terrible Temper

Someone who is very temperamental can be quite a handful. Your partner feels like they can’t talk to you about anything as you’re like a bomb about to explode. They also may feel like your fuse is so short they walk on eggshells to keep things from erupting.

A temper issue is an indication that someone has anger problems. According to The Mayo Clinic, many people have tension, grudges, stress, and personality disorders behind their rage. A temper can destroy a relationship, especially if combined with gaslighting or verbal abuse.

8. You Don’t Communicate Well

Communication is one of the foundations of your union, and you must listen more than you speak. Your partner has a voice and wants to be heard. If you’re too busy complaining about your life and feelings, they may feel like they’re not essential or their feelings don’t count.

9. You Break Promises Regularly

When you make a promise to your partner, it creates an expectation and a bond of trust between you. However, if you habitually break your promises, no matter how small they are, it can significantly damage the trust in your relationship.

It might be easy to overlook or dismiss the breaking of a minor promise, but doing this consistently sends the message to your partner that you don’t take your commitments to them seriously. It undermines your reliability and could lead your partner to question your honesty in more significant matters. Keep your word and fulfill the promises you make. If you can’t keep a promise for a valid reason, be upfront about it and discuss the situation honestly.

10. Neglecting the Needs of Your Partner Can Destroy Trust

You and your partner both have needs. Your needs are physical, emotional, and spiritual. While you cannot fulfill their spiritual needs, you can help with their psychical and emotional ones.

If you neglect any of their needs, it can destroy trust and ruin your relationship. Things like denying intimacy can cause them to seek other places to fulfill these desires, though this is not an excuse for infidelity.

10 Ways to Restore Trust With Your Partner

Now that trust has been destroyed, it’s time to fix what’s been broken. Nothing can keep you apart if you both want to resolve things badly enough. However, if only one person works to repair the relationship, it will never work. Here are some things you can try.

1. Attend Counseling

Counseling is an excellent way for you both to start the rebuilding process. Since the therapist is a third party who looks from the outside, they can quickly identify issues and know where to begin the hard work.

2. Try Couples Exercises

There are many exercises out there that can help you become closer together. For instance, writing an appreciation list, eliminating stress, unplugging from technology, and having an open period to talk about things, can help you rebuild.

3. Make Time For One Another

Whether you’ve been dating for six months or married for twenty years doesn’t matter. It would help if you spent quality time together. If you don’t make time for the one you love, someone else will quickly swoop in and do everything they desire.

4. Vow To Be Honest in All Aspects

Taking a vow of honesty is hard to live by, even when it eliminates white lies. Even if it hurts, you must be honest with one another.

5. You Must Want the Relationship to Work

Above all else, you must want the relationship to work. If you don’t have your heart in it and are not giving a hundred percent, you’re wasting your time.

6. Be Vulnerable

Being vulnerable means opening up the innermost parts of your heart and life and sharing them. You may have some emotional baggage from other relationships holding you back. As a result, you may need to talk to your partner about serious issues you never disclosed. Putting all your cards on the table is a great way to rebuild the destroyed trust.

According to Good Therapy, you must be willing to let your guard down to heal. People often go into these situations, still reserved, afraid they will be hurt again if they put themselves out there. However, sometimes you must tear everything out to put it back together correctly.

7. Make Your Needs Known

It would be best if you made your needs known to your partner. Don’t hold anything back as you go through this rebuilding process; your dedication means everything. Speak up and let your voice be heard because this is the time to get everything out in the open.

8. Establish Boundaries

Before going forward with the restoration process, you need to establish boundaries. These safety zones are there to protect you from further hurt. Your partner should respect the limits you set, and you should respect theirs.

9. Analyze Things from Their Perspective

The best thing you can do for your partner is to step into their shoes for a minute. Look at things through their eyes and see how they view matters. Keeping the situation one-sided is easy, but it changes everything when you look at things differently.

10. Make a New Commitment

Once you’ve decided to work on the things that hinder your relationship and destroy trust, it’s time to make a new commitment to each other. Define your relationship anew and make goals for the future. You can’t leave things in the condition they’re in, so you must try to move forward.

Final Thoughts on Things That Destroy Trust and the Rebuilding Process

You can have the perfect relationship that’s been vital for years, and all it takes is one foolish mistake to change everything. However, if you’re both committed to making things work, there are steps you can take to rebuild the trust and get back to a place where you’re both happy with each other.

5 Signs of a Guilt Trip to Never Ignore

November 14, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

A guilt trip is a form of indirect communication that creates feelings of guilt or discomfort in the recipient. They are common in close relationships where each party cares about the other’s emotions. The manipulative tactic can be performed in other, more distant relationships but are less likely to incite guilt in either party successfully.

For many, guilt trips are accidental. We naturally feel guilty when we worry that we’ve hurt someone we care about or think we haven’t done our fair share of something. As such, someone pointing that out can be sufficient to create a guilt trip, and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

But some people use guilt trips as a means of controlling others. These toxic people resort to this and other forms of emotional blackmail to coerce others into doing what they want. If you’re unsure if someone’s doing this to you, look for these five signs that someone’s using the classic guilt trip to get their way.

1. Someone Who Uses A Guilt Trip Will Bring Up Your Past Wrongs

To guilt trip someone, a person may opt for emotional blackmail by bringing up previous wrongs from the person they’re guilt-tripping. They’ll act as if the other person is constantly doing bad things and that they’re innocent and undeserving of that treatment.

This abuse often involves talking about past mistakes and referring to them calculatingly to get the other person to feel bad and do something to compensate for that. You’ll notice that playing the victim is ubiquitous among guilt trippers and toxic people, and it’s certainly true here.

Of course, we’re not talking about pointing out common issues in a relationship that need work. This isn’t to say that you can’t or shouldn’t talk about complicated negative patterns you’ve noticed. But there’s a time and place for such discussion. Furthermore, there’s a way to do this respectfully and productively.

Specifically, a guilt trip that involves bringing up past wrongs means talking about things that:

Were already resolved and moved on from
Were never brought up as an issue by either party, to begin with
It occurred differently than the way they’re being presented for the guilt trip

2. They Bring Up Their Past Rights

This reinforces the previous point. In addition to bringing up the wrongs of others, a guilt tripper will often bring up the things they’ve done right in the past. They’ll list their actions for you or a group and contrast your behavior to theirs. They may say things like:

I’ve done so much for you, and you do this to me?
I have never forgotten an important date, but you couldn’t even greet me happy birthday?
I’ve been putting in lots of extra hours at this job, and it’s discouraging to work so hard when everyone else keeps taking time off.

Again, there’s some nuance to this. There are respectful and productive ways to bring up problems of this kind. But someone using a classic guilt trip for the sake of control will amp up these discrepancies to paint a picture of their innocence and your cruelty.

If you start to feel like everything nice someone does will eventually be thrown back in your face and used against you, this is a sign of a manipulative guilt-tripper.

3. A Person Employing A Guilt Trip Will Avoid Conflict Staunchly

Direct conflict can often kill the severity of guilt because the people involved will be hashing out their emotions and thoughts. Someone using a classic guilt trip will not want this to happen. They need to continue to make themselves appear innocent and as a martyr, so they can’t be involved in any form of aggressive conflict.

As such, classic guilt trippers will find a way to avoid conflict while conveying their message. These avoidance tactics will irritate, infuriate, and confuse you into experiencing guilt. Most commonly, someone may do this with the following methods:

· Silent Treatment Goes Along With a Classic Guilt Trip

The goal of silent treatment in a classic guilt trip is to fill in the blanks yourself. The guilt tripper can opt for complete inaction, ignoring and stonewalling you, so you feel confused and desperate. You’ll do anything to determine what’s wrong and appease them.

· Denial Of Emotion as a Manipulative Tool

When you directly ask a guilt tripper if something’s wrong, they may lie and say everything is fine. While their mouth says one thing, their actions will say another. After telling you everything is fine, they will visibly act as if it isn’t. This makes you feel uneasy and uncomfortable and can cause you to try and please them to avoid any issues that you feel brewing.

· Body Language Only

Human beings naturally pick up on a lot of body language in most cases. This means that a guilt tripper can avoid direct conflict by communicating non-verbally. They’ll shake their head, cross their arms, or adopt a disposition that makes it clear they’re upset with you.

Indeed, some people will try to keep their emotions to themselves to avoid conflict. But a guilt tripper will not hide their feelings – they’ll find alternative ways to communicate it. That way, you’ll feel the pressure of their emotions and experience guilt while they get the plausible deniability of being able to say they’re not doing anything to inflame you.

4. Somone Using A Guilt Trip Will Appeal To Emotions

Appeals to emotion aren’t unusual in any form of interaction. Most people know that it’s easiest to convince others to do things by making them feel something for the cause. Someone trying to guilt-trip you will utilize this to its fullest. They may do this by:

· Amping Up Their Emotional Reactions

Someone using a classic guilt trip may exaggerate their emotions to make you feel bad. They may burst into tears or act as you’ve entirely broken their heart, even when they don’t think that severely about this. Sure, it’s important to remember that not all emotional reactions are manipulative. But someone who amps up their emotions to a false degree is just trying to get you to do anything you can to stop them from continuing their reactions.

· Making You Feel Something Negative

No one wants to deal with bad feelings. If you feel something negative, you’ll likely want to make it go away as quickly as possible. Guilt trippers know this and will use it against you. They’ll talk about how your actions make them feel unloved, thus making you feel sad enough to do anything they want to help them feel loved again. They’ll say you never do what they ask, so you’ll feel like you have to do what they want to assuage the discomfort.

· Eliciting Sympathy in a Manipulative Way

Someone who wants to guilt trip you will try to prey on the natural sympathy for them. When you’re sympathetic, you’ll want to do things for them!

5. Somone Using Guilt Trip Tactics Will Act Like They’re On High Ground

A manipulative and controlling person will guilt trip you by acting like they’re on some form of high ground. They may act morally, intellectually, or physically superior to you to make you feel smaller, say studies.

These people may frame their actions as a form of moral education. They’ll act like they’re teaching you something you’re not wise enough to know. They’ll insist that the behavior they want out of you is somehow the “right” behavior and that your current behavior is inferior.

There’s a lot of difference between guiding someone with genuine wisdom and simply framing yourself as superior. Someone using a classic guilt trip doesn’t want you to learn the truth or be better. They want you to fall in line according to their desires. They may make this happen by:

Referring to the harsh words they use as “tough love,” framing it as if it’s for your good
Acting like they have automatic authority over you or that they need to be responsible for you in some way
Intentionally using things you’re most sensitive about to get you to fall inline

This also means that they’ll often deflect any accountability or responsibility to you. It is manipulative! When you try to explain your side of the story or point to something harmful they’ve done, they’ll completely deflect you. They may turn everything into your fault by:

Saying that their negative behavior is only being performed because of your negative behavior
Justifying their manipulative actions by jumping through numerous mental hoops
Insinuating that you’re rightfully deserving of the negative actions that they perform while they don’t deserve anything that you’ve done

Final Thoughts On Signs Someone Uses Guilt Trip To Get Their Way

Guilt is a very complex thing. This emotion has some positive purposes, and it’s acceptable and healthy to feel guilty about some things. This is especially true if you use that emotion to fuel positive change, improvement, or accountability.

On top of that, a guilt trip isn’t always born out of manipulation. Because of how easy it is to trigger guilt in others in our close relationships. Indeed, it can happen accidentally or through genuine communication. Someone might mention that you’re not doing your part in a relationship – whether platonic, professional, familial, or romantic – and supplement that with evidence that they have done their part.

The topic of guilt-tripping is nuanced. It can be a part of someone’s genuine efforts to inspire a good, necessary change. However, even well-intentioned guilt-tripping can backfire. And, of course, people use this trick to get what they want from other people.

Ultimately, if someone uses a classic guilt trip to get their way, you must examine the situation with nuance and understanding. This will allow you to discern toxic people doing this as a form of manipulation so you can push back or disengage. Keep an eye out for the signs of a guilt trip, and learn to respond productively for each manipulative tactic!

New Treatment For Type 1 Diabetes Discovered by Researchers

November 14, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Researchers have discovered how nanotechnology could offer a new treatment for patients with Type 1 diabetes. Those with the condition must take insulin daily to manage blood sugar levels. Since it requires lifelong treatment, it’s burdensome for the patient.

Type 1 diabetes causes the immune system to attack and destroy insulin-producing cells in the pancreas. Therefore, patients must take the hormone either with an insulin pump or injection since their bodies can’t produce it naturally.

Current therapies, such as pancreatic islet transplantation, have been successful but have a few setbacks. It involves taking healthy islet cells from a deceased organ donor’s pancreas. Then, doctors inject them into a vein that transports blood to the liver of a person with type 1 diabetes. This procedure improves insulin production, so the patient no longer needs to take it; however, the immune system may reject new islets.

The patient may take immunosuppressive drugs during treatment, but they have unwanted side effects and insufficient protection for transplantation cells. Therefore, the current treatment options might not work long-term.

Meet the Research Team from Northwestern University

However, a team of researchers from Northwestern University believes they have discovered a breakthrough treatment. The technique utilizes nanocarriers to reformulate the widely used immunosuppressant rapamycin. Using these nanocarriers, the team created a new type of immunosuppression that can target specific transplantation cells. This way, other immune responses aren’t affected.

The paper, published in Nature Technology, may lead to revolutionary treatments for type 1 diabetes. Evan Scott, the Kay Davis Professor and an associate professor of biomedical engineering at Northwestern’s McCormick School of Engineering, led the Northwestern team. Another contributor was Guillermo Ameer, the Daniel Hale Williams Professor of Biomedical Engineering at McCormick and Surgery at Feinberg.

Jacqueline Burke was the first author of the study. She’s a National Science Foundation Graduate Research Fellow and researcher working with Scott and Ameer at the Center for Advanced Regenerative Engineering (CARE).

Researchers Discover Breakthrough Treatment for Type 1 Diabetes

Ameer’s research focused on improving islet transplantation by engineering the islets’ environment. To do this, he used biomaterials to enhance their survival and function. However, this method still didn’t address the problems resulting from traditional immunosuppression therapies.

“This was an opportunity to partner with Evan Scott, a leader in immunoengineering, and engage in a convergence research collaboration that was well executed with tremendous attention to detail by Jacqueline Burke, a National Science Foundation Graduate Research Fellow,” Ameer said.

Rapamycin, a well-known immunosuppressant drug, impacts many cell types throughout the body. Patients usually take this orally. However, patients must pay close attention to dosage, as too much can cause harmful side effects. Moreover, lower doses aren’t as effective in islet transplantation cases.

Scott wanted to enhance the drug by placing it in a nanoparticle to control its movement to overcome these shortcomings effectively.

What the Researchers Said

“To avoid the broad effects of rapamycin during treatment, the drug is typically given at low dosages and via specific routes of administration, mainly orally,” Scott said. “But in the case of a transplant, you have to give enough rapamycin to systemically suppress T cells, which can have significant side effects like hair loss, mouth sores, and an overall weakened immune system.”

After a transplant, immune cells, or T cells, reject the unfamiliar cells and tissues. Immunosuppressants can prevent this side effect and affect the immune system’s overall functioning. However, the team’s engineered nanocarrier and drug combination would target specific cells to avoid impairing the immune system. The nanoparticle would pinpoint and modify antigen-presenting cells (APCs) for more controlled immunosuppression.

Using nanoparticles also had another advantage. It allowed the team to deliver rapamycin through a subcutaneous injection using a metabolic pathway different from standard oral administration. It avoided excess drug loss in the liver by reducing the dose necessary for effectiveness – about half the usual dose.

“We wondered, can rapamycin be re-engineered to avoid non-specific suppression of T cells and instead stimulate a tolerogenic pathway by delivering the drug to different types of immune cells?” Scott said. “By changing the cell types that are targeted, we actually changed the way that immunosuppression was achieved.”

How Immunoengineering Could Impact Type 1 Diabetes

For the study, the team introduced diabetes to mice subjects before treating them. They gave them a combination of islet transplantation and rapamycin, delivered orally and via nanocarrier. The day before transplantation, the team gave the mice injections of the modified drug and continued the regimen every three days for two weeks.

Luckily, the team didn’t notice many side effects in the mice and found no trace of type 1 diabetes throughout the 100-day trial. However, the treatment should last a lifetime. Also, the team discovered that the mice treated with the nano-delivered drug had a more robust immune response than mice given standard treatments.

Scott said enhancing and controlling a drug’s side effects via nanotechnology isn’t revolutionary.

“But here we’re not enhancing an effect. We are changing it — by repurposing the biochemical pathway of a drug, in this case, mTOR inhibition by rapamycin, we are generating a different cellular response.”

The team’s findings could also lead to improved treatments for other conditions.

“This approach can be applied to other transplanted tissues and organs, opening up new research areas and options for patients,” Ameer said. “We are now working on taking these very exciting results one step closer to clinical use.”

Burke was also incredulous after seeing the study’s results. When she saw the mice’s blood sugar drop dramatically, she kept double-checking the readings to ensure their accuracy. However, the number remained stable throughout the study period.

The Northwestern team made a breakthrough indeed in type 1 diabetes. They’ve been studying islet transplantation for three years and say the latest findings could significantly impact diabetes research.

Scott has started working on patenting the treatment for diabetes and collaborating with leaders in the industry. The next phase of research will involve clinical trials. When the cure becomes commercially available, it will eliminate the issues involved with current technologies like pancreatic islet transplantation.

Final Thoughts on New Treatment for Type 1 Diabetes

The latest research by Northwestern University could have important implications for those with type 1 diabetes. The team discovered a way to target specific pancreatic cells to deliver an immunosuppressant drug. Using nanocarriers, they re-engineered the common immunosuppressant rapamycin to generate a different cellular response. Hopefully, the treatment will soon become commercially available for type 1 diabetes.

Stop Feeling Ashamed About Getting Mental Health Help

November 14, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Your mental well-being is one of the most overlooked issues, but it’s also vital if you want a content life. There is so much stigma surrounding this issue that people choose to be quiet about it instead of asking for help because they feel ashamed. People have only been speaking openly about mental health for the past few decades.

Before that, you were labeled unfairly if you were depressed, anxious, or had worse issues. Maybe young people feel like they can talk about it amongst themselves, but it’s a taboo subject for people over thirty. No matter how old you are, you have probably been taught to keep your issues to yourself. When teens are depressed, they are just “a bad seed,” “edgy,” or “a rebel.” When adults struggle, they “don’t have their life together” or are “irresponsible.”

There is so much stigma surrounding the idea of asking for help. If you want to take that step, consult a professional, or even talk to a friend, people think of you as “needy.” People are taught that they should always be independent. They are told that they should be ashamed to seek help. But that rhetoric is why people hurt themselves and sometimes even end their lives.

When the pandemic hit, it started an epidemic of mental health issues. Loneliness, anxiety, depression, they all skyrocketed. People need to look after their mental well-being now more than ever. Coachling Psychologist Melbourne can provide the support and care needed during these challenging times.

Why It’s Important To Look After Your Mental Health Without Feeling Ashamed

Whenever you get sick, break a bone, or get a cavity, your first instinct is to go to the doctor or treat your issue. Most people understand the importance of physical health. They know that their quality of life depends on their health. But people seem to forget that they must also look after their mental health. You can read stories about how people overcome issues, like this is Alex Shohet, who has a successful journey.

It’s easy to disregard mental health issues because you can’t immediately see any physical injuries or scars caused by it. As long as the issue is in your head, you can control it, right? And if you are physically healthy, that means you’re fine, right?

These are the rhetorical questions you keep asking yourself to make it easier for you to forget about your mental health issues. You want to seem strong and put together, so you just act like everything is fine. You bury your feelings deep, and you go on about your day. But you probably don’t know that mental health issues leave scars.

The clearest impact of leaving your mental health degrade is that you begin feeling the emotional effects. You start feeling sad, overwhelmed, scared, and tired. At first, it might seem that you are just having a bad day. But then another bad day comes, and another, until the bad days become your normality. And then the physical effects appear. All that stress starts to take a toll on your heart.

The Physical Toll of Reduced Mental Health

Your diet begins to slip, affecting your weight and fitness level. You start looking after yourself less and less, and in time it shows. Poor mental health will even affect your relationships. You will feel like you want to close off and isolate yourself from the world. Putting on a happy face gets increasingly harder. After a while, it just gets easier to hide instead of trying to pretend you are fine.

Maybe you have been taught that mental health issues are a sign of weakness. But no one can control how their brain works in that regard. Mental health issues can be caused by a genetic factor, an environmental factor, or even as a result of other diseases. For example, because of the conditions of pandemic, there has been a sharp increase in cases of depression and anxiety. Even the strongest people can be affected by mental health issues. You wouldn’t tell someone who broke a bone that they’re weak or should be ashamed.

It’s not something they can control. And they can’t just telepathically heal their broken bone. And mental health works the same. So, here are some tips to stop being ashamed of your mental health issues so you can finally ask for help.

3 Ways to Stop Feeling Ashamed About Seeking Mental Health Help

Please don’t feel ashamed about getting help to restore your mental health. Please keep these tips in mind.

1. Stop Dismissing The Issue

Because society keeps dismissing mental health issues, it’s easy to do that too. Ever since you were young, you have probably heard that mental health issues are imaginary or just made up. You have probably been told that you just need to wish the problems to go away, and they will. Everything you have been told about mental health issues makes you believe they are unimportant.

Of course, you would feel foolish to seek help for an imaginary issue. Because of that, it’s easier to dismiss those issues and just pretend they don’t exist. But the first step you need to take to stop feeling ashamed is to reframe your views. Stop pretending that those problems don’t exist.

The simplest philosophy you can live by is that as long as you feel it, it’s real. Pain doesn’t have to come from a physical injury. Sadness doesn’t need to come from a traumatic event. Even if you feel those feelings because you are struggling, those feelings are still valid. If you keep reminding yourself that those feelings are valid, it will be much easier to accept when you need help.

2. Find Your Motivation

People will do almost anything to ensure they can perform fully. Whether you have a job, a hobby, or relationships you need to nurture, you can find a reason to persevere. Unfortunately, some people get so overwhelmed by their struggles that they lose motivation. But if you remember to hold on to that motivation, you can find the strength to ask for help.

Taking care of your mental health is important because it allows you to be fully functional. It allows you to experience happiness, work efficiently, and maintain relationships. It’s important because it keeps you healthy and your head clear. You must understand that you can’t live your life to its fullest potential without caring for your mental health.

Once you do, you can use your goals in life as a motivator for seeking help. If you seek that help because you want to better yourself, you will never be ashamed. You would never be ashamed of working harder to improve your job. So, you should never be ashamed to better yourself psychologically.

When it comes to mental health, the trick is to adjust your mindset. Shame comes from your fears, mainly from being perceived as weak. But if you give your mental health the importance it needs, you can shift your mindset. Even if your motivation is purely external, that’s enough. Even if you work on yourself just to be a more functional member of society, that still helps you. Ideally, you would ask for help for yourself. But if the only way to be a better person for others, that’s still a win.

3. Forget About What Others Think

Shame is the uncomfortable feeling caused by the sentiment that you have done something improper. But the catch is that shame usually happens because you are worried about how your actions look on the outside. While you can be ashamed of yourself, shame is usually associated with how others view you. So, when you take outside perception out of the question, the feeling of shame will go away.

You need to forget about what everyone around you says or thinks. You can’t change what others think anyway. So why even bother? You only have full control over how you decide to live your life. If you want to pursue your happiness, you need to prioritize mental health. And that means being consistent.

Mental health is not just something you can take care of every couple of months. It’s an uphill battle that goes on every day. You need to make sure you at least talk to someone close to you when you feel overwhelmed. If you want to take care of yourself, incorporate mental health care into your routine. Take time daily to meditate, reflect, talk to someone, or relax. Doing small things is much easier if you are struggling with feelings of shame, but they can go a long way.

On your road to recovery, every small detail matters. And in time, you can even build up the courage to take bigger steps, like going to therapy. And remember always to put yourself first. Tune out all negative feedback, and just focus on what you want and need.

Final Thoughts On Ways to Stop Feeling Ashamed About Your Mental Health and Asking for help

The topic of mental health is not something you should ever regard lightly. Not when it comes to your mental health and not when it comes to others’ mental health. But many stigmas are associated with the mere concept of asking for help. People who are struggling are labeled as “crazy,” “weak,” and “lazy.” Instead of learning to ask for help, people learn to hide their issues and act like nothing’s wrong.

Most people are ashamed to admit they are struggling. They choose to dismiss their issues and pretend everything is fine. But, once the burden becomes too much, they risk breaking. But mental health should always be a priority. You should never be ashamed of asking for help. And if you aren’t comfortable doing that from the get-go, try reframing your mindset. Stop putting off the need to talk to someone. Stop saying it doesn’t matter, or you can deal with it later.

Find a reason why mental health is important to you. Maybe you don’t want to get better for yourself, then at least do it for others. Any motivation is better than none. And lastly, forget about what everyone else thinks. At the end of the day, mental health is only about you, and if someone judges you for getting help, that’s their issue.

How to Stop Overthinking (In 12 Steps Or Less)

November 13, 2022 by Chris Butler

Would you like to stop overthinking and create peace in your mind and spirit? Positive thinking can help you recognize negative thought patterns and change them. Releasing negativity is the key to restoring your heart and soul to a place of positive thoughts.

You should make informed decisions and pay attention to details. However, chronically second-guessing yourself wastes time and energy. Here are twelve steps you can take to help prevent being an overthinker.

Twelve Steps to Stop Overthinking

Try these activities progressively. If you break the negative thoughts by step one or two, you don’t need to proceed. However, some people might need to take multiple steps to let go of the source of their negativity while increasing positive thinking.

1. Find Something to Distract You From Overthinking

The first reaction to those anxious thoughts is to distract your mind.

When your mind is drowning in thoughts, ideas, and worries, something new is the last thing you want to do. Although it seems counterintuitive, doing something else can distract you and help you think more positively. It’s an ideal way to ease stress and boost your positivity.

If your schedule is overwhelming, try reserving a spot for something fun and relaxing. It can be as little as thirty minutes daily or maybe every other day. Learning a new hobby or sport can lighten an overthinker’s mood and provide a much-needed distraction.

Another healthy diversion to consider is exercise. Getting your body to move increases endorphins and can improve your mood. A daily routine can help you build a leaner, healthier body.

2. Practice Meditation to Treat Yourself Kindly

If you want to stop overthinking, one of the best ways is to release your thoughts. An overthinker’s mind is constantly bombarded with an inner conversation. Unfortunately, this dialogue often focuses on negativity instead of positivity.

One study explains how chronic negative self-talk is often the root of worry. After a while, your concern can turn into a severe anxiety disorder. However, the study suggests regular meditation can help you stop overthinking and reduce anxiety.

For thousands of years, people from all over the world have used meditation as a tool to manage their thought processes. All you need is a quiet place to sit, close your eyes, and be aware of your thoughts. As each idea comes into your mind, acknowledge it, and let it go.

Meditation is also helpful for boosting positive thinking. You begin to recognize false statements and negativity in your self-talk. Soon, you can stop overthinking and focus on the blessings in your life.

3. Try Deep Breathing Exercises to Clear Your Mind

Mindful breathing is an integral part of meditation or any other attentive practice. The next time you fret over situations or decisions, notice your breathing. Your body goes into survival mode, and stress hormones quicken your breath to prepare you to fight, fly, faint, or freeze.

This mode evolved to boost your energy in dangerous situations temporarily. Your system isn’t hardwired to exist in this state permanently. Chronic stress can lead to severe physical and mental conditions, and it can inhibit your positive thinking.

Do you want to stop overthinking and bring yourself out of survival mode? Please take a deep breath through your nostrils and hold it for a few seconds. Slowly exhale through your pursed lips, making a soft blowing sound.

Usually, after the first two breaths or so, you’ll feel the tension drain from your muscles, bringing in more positivity. Overthinkers tend to get anxious and have shallow breathing. The more oxygen you bring into your body, the better you’ll feel.

4. Try to Stay in the Present to Stop Overthinking

While you can learn valuable lessons from the past, you can’t stay there. Ruminating about past failures and hurt can make you feel bitter and depressed. You’re stuck in a continual loop of self-doubt and overthinking.

Meditation is just one of many ways you can learn to be mindfully present. Giving yourself an occasional break from technology can help you stop overthinking. Put your phone on voice message and turn off the computer and television.

Spend this time relaxing and being fully in the moment. Take a walk outside and notice the stunning beauty of nature. Enjoy a delicious meal with your family with laughter and meaningful conversation.

5. Visualize the Negative Thought Patterns in Your Mind

Overthinkers tend to be pessimistic in their outlook. You may assume that positive thinking is unrealistic and oblivious to any mistakes. On the contrary, positivity does accept that nothing is perfect but doesn’t focus on negativity.

Why is it that so many people could have a thousand things going right but are fixated on the one negative point? Psychologists call this phenomenon the negativity bias, explains an article published by the National Library of Medicine. In some respects, it can be a safety mechanism that’s hardwired into the brain.

However, negativity bias can eventually smother your outlook with pessimism. Recognizing these negative thought patterns is essential to stop overthinking. Learn to focus on positivity, and don’t allow pessimistic thoughts to bring you down.

6. Reflect on Your Achievements to Stop Overthinking

A proverb says your first step is the beginning of a long journey. In other words, you reach most of your goals in stages. Each small victory leads up to a big win.

An overthinker may be too worried about their pending aspirations to ignore their accomplishments. Some may be your internal negativity bias, but it’s also a product of fear and not believing enough in yourself. Do you give yourself credit or believe that nothing you do is good enough?

You can break that mental roadblock by celebrating every achievement toward a larger goal. Also, you’re more apt to realize your dreams if you break them down into doable steps. The higher you climb, the more self-confidence you gain.

For example, let’s say that you need to lose some weight, and your goal is fifty pounds. Staring at that number may be so intimidating that you think it’s almost impossible. Conversely, you feel pretty confident that you could shed five pounds.

Start by losing five pounds and celebrate your dedication and a thinner waistline. Now, set your sights on dropping another five pounds and do the same happy dance. Soon, you’ll have lost fifty pounds and gained a new respect for your abilities.

7. Help Someone Else to Focus on Others Instead of Self

Another negative consequence of overthinking is the feeling that your problems are unique. Have you always wondered why things come so effortlessly to others and you must scrape to get what you need? It’s only a mirage because you have no idea what’s happening in other people’s minds and lives.

The best way to broaden your perspective and stop overthinking is to help someone. Reach out to a family member or friend who’s having a rough time. Consider volunteering weekly for a food pantry or other worthy cause in your community.

Being kind to someone costs you nothing, and you can reap priceless benefits. If you do it for the right reasons, helping others can boost your spirit. Moreover, you discover that you may not have it so bad after all.

8. Consider Different Perspectives to Stop Overthinking

Your upbringing and past experiences help form your life’s perspective. However, not everything you perceive is based on reality. These assumptions are often the cause of an overthinker’s endless mind chatter.

Instead of assuming the worst, ask yourself if these negative statements are factual. How can you reframe your thoughts to get a different perspective? You may clear the air to attract more positivity in your life.

9. Give Yourself a Break

Would you be appreciated or offended if somebody treated you the way you treat yourself? Once you stop overthinking and adopt more positivity, listen to your inner dialogue. Are you making uplifting statements, or are you beating yourself down mercilessly?

Positive thinking isn’t all bubbles and sunshine. You realize there’s no perfection, and some things are out of your control. Self-compassion allows you to release these unrealistic expectations and work on things you can change.

11. Consider Whether Perfectionism Could Be the Cause of Your Anxiety

Perhaps one of the most significant consequences of overthinking is perfectionism. You’re in a whirlwind of second-guessing and worrying about making a mistake. You are so overwhelmed, and you do nothing.

If this sounds familiar, it’s time to stop overthinking. Don’t allow this negative mindset to turn into a pattern of procrastination. Positive thinking helps you turn your worries into motivation to get things done.

12. Don’t be Ashamed to Ask for Help

Overthinking can become a habit that hinders every aspect of your life. Just the thought of worrying too much can increase your anxiety. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help.

Discuss your issues with a trusted family member or friend. It’s refreshing to share your burdens with somebody who listens. They may offer a fresh perspective that can change your feelings about a situation or decision.

You can also share your concerns with an experienced spiritual leader or mental health professional. They won’t have all the answers but can suggest coping strategies and other tools. It’s okay not to be okay sometimes and admit that you need a hand.

Final Thoughts on How to Stop Overthinking

Are you tired of missing out because you constantly overthink and second-guess yourself? You can break the habits that let negativity seep into your mind and be more confident in your abilities and choices. Then, you’ll only have to think about celebrating your achievements.

11 Reasons Why People Are Afraid of Aging

November 13, 2022 by Chris Butler

The circle of life is from the cradle to the grave, and aging is a process many would love to avoid. The thoughts of retirement may seem frightening. Why are people so afraid of getting older? Is there a better way to cope with this inevitable process?

Of course, it would be nice if you could turn back time and not age so quickly, but we all know that is not possible. The journey from beginning to end has many twists and turns, but the thought of the final stretch is more than some can bear.

Eleven Common Reasons Why People Are Afraid of Aging

If you’re apprehensive about getting older, you’re not alone. One study determined that more than 87 people have a fear of getting older. Here are some common reasons why retirement and getting older scare some people.

1. You Hear Your Biological Clock Tick As You’re Getting Older

You often hear women talk about their biological clock ticking. If you want to have children, you have a short window to do so in your life. Your chances of having a child with a genetic defect increase over 35, yet women are still having babies in their late forties these days.

If you haven’t started your family, you might hear the alarm blasting on your biological clock. While men don’t give birth, they certainly feel the pangs of longing to settle down and start a family. The fear of being at retirement age with no grandkids or immediate family can be overwhelming, as your children are who take care of you when you’re older.

2. You Fear Diseases and Cancers

The chance of developing diseases and cancers increases as you age. Getting older makes you more susceptible to dementia, Parkinson’s, arthritis, heart disease, cataracts, and diabetes. No one wants to be sick and unable to get out and live the life they’ve become accustomed to, so the thought of these conditions is overwhelming.

So often, individuals spend their lives working and trying to raise a family that they run out of time to fulfill their bucket list. Make sure you make time for self-care and to do the things that make you happy. Getting older happens in the blink of an eye, and you want to make sure you can look back and be satisfied with your life.

The key is never to wait till retirement to start living, as it might be too late. No one is promised tomorrow, so you must learn to live in the moment. The older you get, the less time you have, so don’t put off your bucket list.

3. You Fear Aging Decreases Your Employment Prospects

While it’s illegal in this country to fire someone for their age, a business always has a way to get around those legalities. When you’ve been with a company for many years, you demand higher wages than someone just starting. Companies often need to tighten their belts, so they may choose to bring on younger people rather than continuing to pay higher salaries.

Another issue is that younger people are full of ideas and new inventive ways of doing things. When you’ve become accustomed to a particular way of doing business, it’s hard to teach an “old dog” new tricks. You may feel like you’re not as valuable and can easily be bought out for early retirement or pushed out for a younger, hipper employee.

4. You Fear Getting Older Will Make You Less Attractive

One thing that certainly changes as you age is your appeal. The once brown locks fade to a gray color, and the skin that would bounce back like a rubber band is now loose and saggy. Looking in the mirror is a constant reminder that you’re aging fast.

Americans put a lot of emphasis on how you look, while other countries embrace the aging process as it comes with wisdom. Why are so many people getting face lifts, breast augmentation, and other procedures to fight Mother Nature?

You can be beautiful at any age. No, you might not look like you did in high school, but when you eat healthily and live an active lifestyle, it does reflect on you. You can always tell a person who doesn’t smoke or take drugs by the appearance of their skin.

5. Saying Goodbye to Loved Ones Is a Natural Part of Aging

The longer you live on this earth, the more people you will see pass on. Getting older is a challenge in and of itself, but when you start saying goodbye to people who’ve meant so much to you, it changes everything. Losing someone close to you is a threat that’s all too real.

Many people outlive their children, and the loss of the child is something that no one should go through at any age. People in nursing homes across this country have outlived their friends and relatives, and it’s scary to be alone and feeble with no one but staff to assist. Aging makes you constantly aware of the circle of life, and attending funerals becomes commonplace.

6. Becoming Invisible

When you’re younger, you get whistles when you walk down the street, people ask for your phone number, and you’ve noticed. However, there’s a certain age point where all that changes. You feel that no one turns their head twice to consider you an object of desire.

There’s no one whispering that you’re hot or cute to their friend–you feel that you may to vanish into the background. Your choice of clothing changes to a more modest style, you mind your own business when you’re out and about, and you only frequent places that respectable people will go. This is all part of the retirement years, and aging makes you less likely to get the attention you once garnered.

7. You Don’t Like the Appearance of the Wrinkles That Come With Getting Older

You can fight wrinkles with serums and healthy eating, but these lines will eventually be more powerful than you can defend. The American Society of Plastic Surgeons explain that people in the United States spend over $16 million a year on plastic surgery, most of which is to try to erase the damage done over time.

The most common wrinkles are laugh lines and crow’s feet. Why not look at the lines around your face to indicate that you had much to smile about in your life? Perception is your reality, and very few people age without any wrinkles.

8. There’s No More Time for Major Decisions

When you’re young, the world is your oyster. You can decide if and when you will go to college, what you want to be in life, and if you’ll have a family. Once you hit a certain age, these choices are already made and hard to change.

For instance, a woman in her fifties is more towards retirement age than starting in the workforce. It’s only natural that she might feel like it’s too late to further her education or have the family she didn’t have time for in the past. While you should know that it’s never too late to fulfill your dreams, aging does complicate things.

For some, the fear of being out of time is crippling. You often see people have a mid-life crisis during their fifties or sixties because the truth of aging is hard to accept. Men usually buy expensive sports cars trying to recapture some of their youth, and women will dye and cut their hair in styles to make them appear younger.

9. Your Vocabulary and Perception Changes

One thing that you will notice is that your perception of yourself changes. Getting older means you change the words you use to describe yourself. You think of the younger crowd as babies, innocent, cute, child-like, and millennials.

When you think of yourself, you use terms like old, wise, elderly, senior, mature, baby boomer, or experienced. Why is it that these words are so bothersome to your esteem? Hearing someone say this older lady or gentlemen can strike fear in your heart, as you’re no longer considered young by the world around you.

10. You’re Afraid of Becoming Lonely and Grumpy as a Result of Aging

Aging does take its toll on your body. You’re tired from a well-lived life, and you may be lonely. The longer you make it on this earth, the more likely you will lose those around you, possibly even your spouse. When you add the aches and pangs, you feel lonely each day, enough to make anyone tired and grumpy.

11. Memory Loss Associated With Aging Is Terrifying

Memory loss often as you age. You may have once had a stellar memory that could recall the smallest things, but it’s only natural for that to decline. Additionally, the chances of developing conditions like dementia that take away your ability to recognize the face of your loved ones can be frightening.

Final Thoughts on Being Afraid of Aging

Are you afraid of aging? While there will be some physical limitations and ailments that you must consider, you can still be young at heart. It’s time to change society’s view of the older generation and those heading towards retirement.

The more you plan for retirement, the better you will be. Having adequate savings, making plans for your care, and doing things to ensure you’re set will help ease this anxiety. Lastly, it’s time to embrace your years and live each one to the fullest. Whether you’re 25 or 75 doesn’t matter, as you can still live an active and exciting life while getting older.

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