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How Ageism Harms Mental Health, According to Psychology

How Ageism Harms Mental Health, According to Psychology

New research reveals that ageist jokes and comments that may seem inoffensive can harm mental health. Psychologists have found that ageism undermines well-being by suggesting that older people are less capable.

While joking about your grandpa misplacing his keys again may seem harmless, it may impact him more than you’d think. These offhand remarks, called “everyday ageism,” tend to cast older adults in a negative light. Perhaps some elderly adults can brush them off, but others may take them to heart.

A recent study published in JAMA Network Open found that almost all adults have encountered ageist statements at least once. These tactless jokes have become prevalent in the media and everyday conversations with younger people. Some older people who hear ageist messaging may even start believing these negative aging stereotypes.

The study’s first author Julie Ober Allen, Ph.D., an assistant professor at the University of Oklahoma, said that discrimination against older adults isn’t always blatant. It can present itself in indirect ways as well. Everyday ageism stems from negative stereotypes and perspectives about the elderly that ignore their uniqueness. Instead, these stereotypes place all older people in a box and fail to consider their positive traits.

Furthermore, researchers uncovered a link between experiences of age discrimination and reduced well-being. Ober Allen and her colleagues from the University of Michigan studied over 2,000 people between 50 and 80 years old.

Psychologists Reveal How Ageism Harms Mental Health

ageism

Researchers utilized the Everyday Ageism Scale to gauge the prevalence of ageist experiences participants had, separating them into three categories. The team asked respondents how strongly they agreed or disagreed with these statements:

  • “I hear, see, or read jokes about old age, aging, or older adults.”
  • “People assume that I have difficulty with cell phones and computers.”
  • “People assume I have difficulty remembering or understanding things.”
  • “I hear, see, or read things suggesting that older adults and aging are unattractive or undesirable.”
  • “People assume I have difficulty hearing or seeing things.”
  • “People insist on helping me with things I can do independently.”
  • “Feeling depressed, sad, or worried is part of getting older.”
  • “People assume I do not do anything important or valuable.”
  • “Having health problems is part of getting older.”
  • “Feeling lonely is part of getting older.”

In total, 93% of respondents said they frequently encountered at least one type of ageism. Most commonly, participants reported experiencing internalized ageism reflecting personal beliefs about aging.

For example, many thought having health problems as they age was normal. Almost 80% of participants believed this statement, even though 82% reported being in good or excellent health.

65% of surveyed adults reported seeing, hearing, or reading derogatory jokes and stereotypes about aging. 45% admitted that they often encountered interpersonal ageism or discrimination from others. For instance, others may assume they had difficulty seeing, hearing, remembering, understanding, or performing activities alone. Age discrimination could also mean people believed they weren’t doing anything significant in life.

After polling participants about specific ageist encounters, researchers wanted to see how ageism impacted their health. So, they determined an “everyday ageism score” for each participant and compared this score to self-reported physical and mental health assessments.

The findings revealed that participants with higher ageism scores were more likely to report “fair” or “poor” health. They also experienced more frequent instances of chronic conditions and depression.

The Link Between Ageist Encounters and Poor Health

While the study doesn’t prove a direct correlation between ageism and declining health, it still warrants further investigation. Ober Allen and her colleagues suggest that experiencing frequent ageism raises cortisol levels, which may contribute to health conditions. Any form of chronic stress, including ageism, can immensely strain the body’s stress response system.

Most people don’t think about the effects of ageist beliefs on the elderly. However, age discrimination can harm mental health as much as racism or sexism. In summary, being consistently exposed to ageist statements from media, other people, and internalized beliefs can trigger harmful physical responses.

Ober Allen said that when people have chronically high cortisol levels, it can cause accelerated aging. In addition, it increases the risk of chronic diseases because of the strain on the body and mind. Of course, not all age-related health conditions stem from everyday ageism. However, researchers note that the public could play a role in preventing poor health associated with ageism.

As a society, we have a responsibility to one another. We’re taught from a young age to show respect and kindness toward our elders. However, some of these teachings have been lost in our modern world.

Unfortunately, many people have forgotten these basic tenets about how to treat others. As a result, cruelty and aggression have become widespread, severing our sacred connection with one another.

Regarding ageism, spreading awareness about the issue is the first step to creating positive change. Ageist stereotypes and beliefs have become so common that many people turn a blind eye to them. However, we can play our part by addressing people who perpetuate these harmful statements. When you hear someone bullying the elderly, call them out on it. If they know others are paying attention, they may think twice about what they say next time.

Also, older adults should avoid internalizing negative beliefs about themselves. Remember, you’re just as capable and worthy as anyone else, and you deserve self-respect!

ageist

Final Thoughts on How Ageism and Ageist Comments May Hurt Someone’s Well-Being

A new survey published in JAMA Network Open found that harmless ageist jokes can harm mental health. According to the research, over 90% of respondents frequently encountered age discrimination. Ageism often occurs through messaging in the media, conversations with others, or internalized beliefs. Most participants reported that personal beliefs about aging and exposure to ageist stereotypes affected them the most.

The researchers found that ageism can accelerate the aging process by raising cortisol levels. Long-term stress can impact mental and physical health and even lead to chronic health conditions. Society can do better by treating the elderly with respect and confronting anyone spreading ageist beliefs.

Doctors Explain Why You Stand On One Leg During A Physical 

Researchers say that the ability to stand on one leg for at least ten seconds is a good sign of the overall well-being of an individual. Currently, this test is not part of most wellness exams. But many doctors think it may be worth adding to a routine exam. Why, you ask, would the doctor expect you to stand on one foot?

Great question! Here are some reasons you should stand on one leg during your physical. 

Who came up with this physical test? 

A group of researchers created a study with 1,702 participants between the ages of 51 to 75. Only one-third of the participants were women, and two-thirds were men. The researchers asked the participants to stand on one leg with one leg resting on the back of the other leg. They held their arms at their sides and looked straight ahead. They had three tries and could use either leg they wanted. During the test, 80% of the participants could do the task. Only 20% couldn’t do it, which increased with the age of people.

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What were the long-term results?

When the researchers followed up with wellness exams seven years later, they found that 7.2% of the participants had died. Out of the people who died, 4.6% were participants who could stand on one foot for ten seconds, and 17. 5% were those who couldn’t perform the task. Researchers concluded that survival rates were worse for participants who couldn’t stand on one leg for at least ten seconds. Standing on one leg for this length of time or longer shows longevity and flexibility. 

Why is standing on one leg a good indicator of your physical health?

As you get older, there is a slight decrease in your physical stamina. If you don’t believe this, all you need to do is to get out on the basketball court with some teenagers and see how you perform. It’s a sad part of life that as you get older, you experience a decline in physical fitness related to:

  • Aerobic fitness
  • Muscle strength
  • Flexibility
  • Balance
  • Your body composition-this is the percentage of bone, fat, muscle, and water you have in your body.

So, being able to balance on one leg for at least ten seconds is a good sign you have the following things going for you:

  • Better muscle strength
  • More stamina
  • Are still flexible and have a good balance
  • Have overall good body composition, meaning you have a good balance of fat, muscles, water, and bones. 

Falling is the most significant physical risk as someone ages.

Balancing on one leg reveals your physical well-being and longevity. The most significant risk of being unable to do this test is a lack of flexibility. As a result, that rigidity can lead to a fall.

Researchers say that being overweight and lacking flexibility puts you at risk for a fall. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), falls are the second leading cause of accidental death. Adults sixty years and older are at a greater risk of a fatal fall. The health of the person who falls also affects the severity of the injury. 

The risk levels result from a slower physical reaction, diminished sensory abilities, and aging-related cognitive changes. Men are more likely to fall than women. Women suffer more non-fatal falls than men. 

What are the other risks?

In this same study, of the participants who couldn’t balance on one leg, there was a higher proportion of problematic health conditions such as these conditions:

  • High blood pressure
  • Heart disease
  • Unhealthy blood fat
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Were obese

Should this test be included in a routine physical exam?

Currently, a routine exam does not include this test. However, many physicians feel this test should be part of a wellness exam for middle-aged to older adults. A person in their fifties should stand on one leg for about forty seconds. A person in their sixties typically can do this for around twenty seconds. Someone in their seventies should be able to stand on one leg for ten seconds. Some doctors suggest including this balance when checking vital signs, as it can show a person’s general health. 

What might prevent you from being able to do this test? 

Different conditions could interfere with your ability to do this test. Things such as:

  • Neurological disease
  • Spatial issues
  • Orthopedic issue
  • Vision problems
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Slow reaction time
  • Cognitive problems

Of course, if you know you have these conditions ahead of time, you may not be surprised you can’t stand on one leg. But if you find you can’t balance on one leg, you may want to think about these conditions and talk with your osteopath about your concerns. Also, if you have family members with some of these conditions, it’s imperative to investigate your health condition. 

Walking speed and your health

wellness exam

Another good predictor of your physical health and brain health is how fast your walk in your midlife. One study found that how fast a person walks could determine their body and brain’s aging tendencies. It could also increase your longevity. 

Some people are naturally fast walkers. They race down the aisles of the stores as if their life depended on it. The tendency to walk fast could be genetic. If your mom, dad, grandma, or grandpa were fast walkers, good chance you walk fast too. 

But even if you’re not a fast walker, you can include brisk walking in your exercise routine. Walking at a brisk pace improves your fitness. It increases your breathing and pumps your heart. Besides that, it improves your coordination and balance. Finally, it helps reduce your chances of diseases such as these:

  • Heart disease
  • Cancer
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Improves your memory 
  • Decreases your risk of dementia
  • Help you control your weight
  • Lower your blood pressure
  • Boosts your mood
  • Strengthen your bones and muscles
  • Increase your lifespan

What other wellness exam predictors could doctors use to evaluate longevity and good health? 

Sometimes the simple, everything day things reveal your health. Researchers have found that people who live longer tend to 

  • A firm grip predicted a longer lifespan: People with a weak grip’s death rate was 1.68 times greater than people with a firm grip. 
  • Get out of a chair quickly: People with a slower rate of getting out of a chair had twice the death rate as someone who got out of a chair quickly. 
  • Feel positive about their health: People’s feelings make a big difference. Individuals who see themselves as healthy and robust are healthier and stronger. 
  • Have mental speed: Being cognitively active is connected to aging well. However, researchers aren’t sure if staying active is the cause of being healthy in your old age or the result of staying healthy in your old age. 
  • Your attractiveness: This sounds weird, but a study found that facial attractiveness predicted longevity. Many view a symmetrical face as attractive. This quality reflects excellent genes and health without physical trauma. This healthfulness may equal more extended life.

What if you can’t stand on one foot during a physical wellness exam? 

Of course, if you can’t stand on one leg for ten seconds doesn’t mean you’re going to perish soon, but it could mean it’s time to get healthy. This simple test could motivate you to begin to lose weight or exercise more. Here are suggestions for other things you can do. 

Stretches to increase flexibility

Doing flexibility exercises will improve your ease of movement. Being flexible increases the blood flow to your muscles. It also builds muscle strength. Try to do flexibility stretches at least three times a week. These could include the following activities:

  • Yoga
  • Tai chi
  • Pilates
  • Using stretch bands
  • Foam rollers

Balance training

If you have a good balance, it will prevent falls. Balance training can help your equilibrium and help you recover quickly from situations where you start to lose your balance. Good balance is essential for playing sports and doing fitness exercises. 

Good balance is associated with good core strength. Yoga, tai chi, and pilates help develop balance and core strength. 

If you want at-home balance training, try these things at least three or more days a week:

  • Walk backward
  • Walking sideways
  • Walk on your heels
  • Walk on your toes
  • Stand up from a sitting position

physical

Final thoughts on why doctors may ask you to stand on one leg during a routine physical

If it’s hard for you to stand to balance on one leg, it could be an indication of your overall health and longevity. Some doctors don’t expect you to stand on one leg during your annual wellness exam, but some feel it should be part of the routine physical you get once a year. Standing on one leg for ten seconds could indicate your muscle strength, mental function, and aerobic fitness. 

On the other hand, the inability to do this task could be a good wake-up call for you that it’s time to take your health seriously and get in shape. Maybe it’s time to lose weight, start walking, or take balance training classes. Whatever you decide to do, next time you go to the doctor, if they tell you to stand on one leg, you’ll be ready to show off your flexibility, balance, and overall good health. 

Patagonia Billionaire Gives Up His Fortune

Patagonia billionaire Yvon Chouinard recently surrendered the company he founded nearly fifty years ago. The private outdoor apparel business transferred its ownership to two new entities: Patagonia Purpose Trust and the Holdfast Collective. Chouinard wanted to create the trust and nonprofit organization to help combat climate change and protect biodiversity.

Chouinard’s decision to forfeit the company doesn’t surprise those who knew him. He launched Patagonia in 1973 with sustainability in mind, never planning on becoming a billionaire.

He even ran an ad in The New York Times on Black Friday to discourage customers from shopping. The ad featured a picture of the company’s best-selling jacket, with text above saying, “Don’t buy this jacket.”

About Yvon Chouinard, the Company Founder

As an avid rock climber in the 1960s, Chouinard wanted to launch a company that reflected his values. He started off selling climbing gear and eventually got into the apparel business.

From the start, he aimed to create high-quality items for nature lovers while protecting the environment. Patagonia committed to using 100% organic cotton for its sportswear in 1996. They’ve begun experimenting with recycled cotton after realizing the environmental impact of cotton farming.

For their fleece products, they utilize soda bottles to create recycled polyester. The apparel company also eliminated colors from its product lines that required dyes with toxic metals and sulfides. In addition, they’ve been using recycled paper for their catalogs since the 1980s.

The company quickly became one of the most ethical, sustainable businesses in the United States. Ironically, Chouinard never set out to become a businessman or a billionaire. He merely stumbled into it after making climbing gear for his friends.

While his company took every step to lessen its impact on the planet, Chouinard had a greater mission. He no longer wanted to profit from nature but begin to heal and preserve it.

billionaire

Patagonia Founder Gives Up His Company Worth $3 Billion

The decision to surrender Patagonia came to Chouinard in mid-2020. After watching his net worth soar to record heights, he realized he’d become what he detested his whole life.

Of course, he never flaunted his wealth, so seeing his name on Forbes’ list of billionaires surprised him. He didn’t buy flashy cars or anything expensive, and he certainly didn’t have $1 billion in his bank account. The Forbes ranking and the stress of the pandemic ultimately prompted him to surrender his company.

Now, Patagonia will distribute every penny that isn’t reinvested into the company as dividends to the Holdfast Collective. The nonprofit owns the largest share of the company — 98% of its total stock. The Holdfast Collective will use these funds “to protect nature and biodiversity, support thriving communities and fight the environmental crisis.” Patagonia estimates it will pay a yearly dividend of about $100 million, depending on the company’s revenue.

The remainder of the company’s stock will go toward the Patagonia Purpose Trust. It exists to create a more permanent legal structure to ensure the company stays true to its values. In addition, it will facilitate what the company does best: showing that a for-profit business can work for the planet.

In a press release, the reluctant billionaire said, “It’s been a half-century since we began our experiment in responsible business. If we have any hope of a thriving planet 50 years from now, it demands all of us doing all we can with the resources we have.

“As the business leader I never wanted to be, I am doing my part. Instead of extracting value from nature and transforming it into wealth, we are using the wealth Patagonia creates to protect the source. We’re making Earth our only shareholder. I am dead serious about saving this planet.”

The Patagonia Billionaire Means Business

The company will also remain a Certified B Corporation, a designation for companies committed to environmental causes. While the outdoor apparel business will keep operating as a for-profit entity, the Chouinards no longer own the company.

In August 2022, they officially transferred the company’s stock to the newly created trust and nonprofit. The family members will still oversee the trust to ensure Patagonia doesn’t deviate from its mission.

The Holdfast Collective will utilize Patagonia’s profits for preserving wild lands and focusing on other nature-based climate solutions. Since it’s a 501(c)(4), the nonprofit can also make unlimited political contributions. The Chouinards didn’t receive a charitable deduction for their donation, proving their commitment to protecting the planet.

Chouinard’s Legacy Will Continue

Patagonia will continue donating 1% of its annual profits to grassroots activists, something it’s been committed to since 1986.

“Two years ago, the Chouinard family challenged a few of us to develop a new structure with two central goals,” said Patagonia CEO Ryan Gellert in the press release. “They wanted us to both protect the purpose of the business and immediately and perpetually release more funding to fight the environmental crisis. We believe this new structure delivers on both and we hope it will inspire a new way of doing business that puts people and planet first.”

In an interview with The Seattle Times, Chouinard said he hopes his example will encourage reforms in capitalism. The unconventional business model puts other corporations in the spotlight because many actively contribute to the climate crisis. The 83-year-old billionaire said his company would donate every penny to people working on climate solutions.

So far, in 2022, Patagonia has donated $50 million to the Holdfast Collective and expects to contribute another $100 million. Chouinard said he feels relieved that the company will keep “doing the right thing” long after he’s gone.

patagonia

Final Thoughts on Patagonia Billionaire Relinquishing His Fortune

Yvon Chouinard, founder and former owner of Patagonia, never set out to become a billionaire. It happened as a natural consequence of owning a wildly successful outdoor apparel company. However, the businessman never felt motivated by money or materialistic gains.

Chouinard felt passionate about protecting the planet as a lifelong nature lover and environmental enthusiast. So, he decided to relinquish Patagonia after 50 years of ownership, creating a trust and nonprofit to help fight climate change. He updated the company’s mission statement to reflect Patagonia’s new direction: “We’re in business to save our home planet.”

30 Types of Happiness (And Why You Should Try Them All)

We all strive for happiness for ourselves and those we care about most. Being happy is different for everyone, and it’s all about doing what makes you feel good.

There are many types of happiness, making it hard to define. This emotional state describes a range of positive emotions that make you feel good. This emotional state often involves joy, fulfillment, and satisfaction.

With so many types, you’ll likely have to implement various methods to find happiness. When you find joy in differing forms, it brings fulfillment and meaning to your life. Knowing the types can help you implement them in your life, making a positive change and improving your well-being.

Thirty Types of Happiness Everyone Should Know (And Why You Should Try Them All)

These types of happiness allow you to find joy in differing situations. When one area isn’t going well, you can focus on the rest and find positivity in other ways.

happy person

1 – Gratitude

Practicing gratitude and appreciation can help identify the good around you. You’ll also recognize your blessings and know you’re lucky to have them.

2 – New Experiences

You might find happiness when experiencing something new. Exploring a new location, swimming in a river, or participating in history can bring meaning to your life.

3 – Love

Love can come in many forms, including family connections, friendships, and romantic relationships. You can also focus on self-love. Love helps you feel secure and valued. It allows you to experience it no matter where you are or what you’re doing in life.

4 – Peace

Finding peace often requires avoiding negative situations. It alleviates the risk of conflict and negativity, allowing you to focus on happier things. However, it isn’t always avoidable, so if issues arise, practice mindfulness to return to a peaceful state.

5 – Pride

Feeling proud is a short-lived type of happiness that can involve pride for yourself or someone else. It allows you to feel good about an accomplishment or achievement. Pride lasts for varying lengths of time, depending on the situation.

6 – Generosity

Wanting to give to those around you can help you find happiness and fulfillment in life. It prevents entitlement because you freely give without expecting anything in return. You’ll expect nothing more than giving when you can and basking in the joy it brings.

7 – Fulfillment

Self-fulfillment involves the journey toward achieving your purpose. You’ll feel happier knowing you’re moving forward and fulfilling your desires and goals. Sometimes fulfillment involves spirituality and finding your calling.

Fulfillment also means you’ve reached a state of life with little to no internal conflict or longing. You won’t want to look for change because you become thankful and happy with what you have.

8 – Spending Time Freely

When you have time for leisure, you’ll feel happier than following a packed schedule. Time to do what you want allows you to pursue interests, hobbies, sports, and entertainment.

9 – Excitement

When you look forward to something, you experience excitement leading up to the event. It is happiness that you feel now but is directed toward the future and often makes you wish time would speed up.

Excitement can also occur in the present when watching something awe-inspiring or unexpected. Using passion while working on a project or task can also bring excitement. It involves feeling enthusiastic and energized.

10 – Feeling Connected

Even introverts can find happiness in feeling bonded to others. When you connect to the community or your friends and family, you can get a sense of meaning. Research backs this up, and experts claim that healthy relationships influence well-being and health.

11 – Taking Risks

Some people enjoy risk-taking and might feel discontent when they don’t have the freedom to do so. They might want to take risks regarding business or their career, travel, adventure, or sports.

12 – Humility

Being humble allows you to practice humility and recognize that you’re only part of the universe around you. It helps you remember that you’re a part of something bigger and that sometimes you must depend on others.

13 – Not being affected by others

When you reach a stage in your life when you’re no longer affected by others, you’ll find meaning and fulfillment. When you don’t worry about what others think, you can focus on your overall goals and desires. It limits social comparison and prevents becoming derailed by others.

14 – Pleasure

Pleasure is a reward related to making your body feel good. It can come from eating when you’re hungry to being hugged by a loved one.

15 – Momentary Joy

This type of happiness doesn’t last long and results from seeing or doing something you enjoy. It brings satisfaction and pleasure in the present moment. You might experience momentary joy when doing something, or it can occur when you see a beautiful scene.

finding happiness

16 – Relaxation

If you can relax and stop worrying about things, you’ll feel better about your life. It’ll help you feel good about yourself and help you experience happiness.

17 – Humor

Happiness can come through laughter in humor. It can allow you to find a moment of joy, even during hard times.

Humor can also help you connect with the people around you and allow you to laugh, helping increase your joy. Funny movies, stand-up comedies, and laughing with others can bring short hurts of happiness that improve your overall mood.

18 – Contentment

Being happy with who you are, what you have, and where you are right now can improve your happiness levels. It allows you to embrace the present and appreciate your life. You will still strive for more and continue growing, but you remain happy with each stage of life.

19 – Accepting Things You Can’t Control

You can’t change everything and sometimes can’t control when things shift around you. Learning to accept these moments and embracing them can help you find happiness. If life gets hard, remember that it’s only a chance to try again.

20 – Competition

People who enjoy competition find happiness in the experience. They thrive during things like games, sports, and career competitions.

21 – Self-Discipline

Making plans for yourself and following through on them is a sign of self-discipline. It helps build happiness as you continually reach your goals and live up to personal expectations.

22 – Creativity

Doing things that allow you to be creative and use your imagination can help you be happy. Creating new things and coming up with ideas encourages positivity.

23 – Having a Purpose

Finding your purpose increases happiness as you know what you’re striving to achieve. You’ll feel more comfortable making decisions when you know the overall goal.

24 – Optimism

Being optimistic involves believing good things will come to you. You remain hopeful that things will work out and you’ll receive what you need or want. It improves your mood and outweighs any negativity you experience.

25 – Fun

Many adults believe that having fun is for kids, and it’s not an accurate way to view it. Having fun allows you to experience happiness and appreciate life. Life doesn’t have to be all about work and responsibilities, and you’ll be happier when you take the time for fun.

26 – Productivity

Getting things done is rewarding and brings a sense of fulfillment. When hard work pays off, you’ll feel happy about the accomplishment and the effort that went into it.

27 – Wonder

Wonder occurs when you sense mysterious, intriguing, and good things in the world around you. It fosters happy anticipation and allows you to remember bigger things are out there.

28 – Health

When you’re healthy and don’t have medical concerns, it means you’ll likely be happier. Experts indicate that not only does your health bring happiness but being happy decreases your risk of disease or illness.

29 – Basic Freedom

Having a sense of freedom can help you feel happier. While some people want complete freedom, others desire some constraints with:

  • rules
  • social norms
  • responsibilities and priorities
  • tradition
  • culture or religion

Either way, having the freedom you desire is a type of happiness that brings fulfillment.

30 – Virtue

Rather than focusing on what occurred, your virtue only requires focusing on your responses. It involves acting with high moral standards no matter what the situation involves.

Ten Tips for Creating a Happy Life

  1. Develop a growth mindset
  2. Volunteer to help others
  3. Identify something good in each moment
  4. Write in a gratitude journal
  5. Turn off your electronics
  6. Do something you haven’t tried before
  7. Take care of yourself and practice self-love
  8. Apologize when necessary
  9. Spend time with people you love
  10. Do something fun

chasing happiness

Final Thoughts on Types of Happiness (And Why You Should Try Them All)

Finding happiness in life requires creating it by doing things that make you feel good. Do more of what you enjoy and prioritize the things that make you love your life. Be intentional on your journey to happiness because it’s all about what you want in life.

So don’t wait–get started today and find ways to target the differing types of happiness. Don’t limit yourself because you can try something new whenever you want a boost of joy.

Remember that what makes you happiest might not be what makes someone else happy. It’s a personal journey for everyone, making it even more meaningful. Do what makes you feel good, whether it’s short-lived or long-lasting.

Counselor Reveals 15 Ways to Be More Approachable

If anyone has told you that you look angry or distant, it could be a sign that you’re not approachable. You might also notice that people approach others but not you, but you can change that. You can find a way to be more approachable and friendly in all situations.

Being more approachable comes in handy during social situations, dates, and networking opportunities. It can help you make new friends, find a partner, or land a job. However, looking approachable is often hard for some of us.

Some of the things that make someone more approachable include:

  • friendliness
  • kindness
  • confidence
  • handling their emotions
  • positivity

If you worry that you don’t look approachable, learning how to make a change will help. You’ll feel better in public and when interacting with others. Even if you feel nervous or shy, these methods can help you appear calm and friendly.

How to Be More Approachable, According to Counselors

approachable

You can gradually shift your demeanor if you want to be more approachable. Some of the methods include:

1 – Practice positive body language to appear approachable

One of the best ways to be more approachable is by having open body language. If you look closed off, people will want to leave you alone.

Signs of being closed off include:

  • crossing your arms
  • turning away
  • crossing your legs
  • tilting your head back or down

Rather than sending a message that you want to be left alone, try practicing positive body language. Keep your arms at your sides while leaving space between your legs when standing. It implies you’re comfortable and open to conversation.

Additionally, stay upright, maintaining a straight back. You can keep your arms uncrossed and face forward without tilting your head. Keeping your head up is helpful because it allows other people to read you rather than closing you off from those around you. 2 – Act how you do when you’re relaxed

Think about how you behave when you feel relaxed and incorporate it when you’re around others. Relax as if you were alone or with close friends in a safe space. Being calm will make you appear authentic and attractive.

You can imagine that the people around you are old friends as a reminder to be casual. Avoid fidgeting because it shows that you’re nervous. Some of the signs that make others think you don’t want to socialize include:

  • biting your nails
  • nervously twirling your hair
  • constantly tapping
  • touching your face

Be aware of your behaviors in social settings so that someone doesn’t think you don’t want to talk. Place your hands on the table or hold something that reduces your urge to fidget.

3 – Practice mirroring

While you should be yourself, you can seem more approachable if you mirror others. It makes them more comfortable talking to you because it shows you can get along. Think about how you subconsciously begin to copy gestures your friend uses or say phrases they say. It makes you feel connected and shows how well you get along.

Mirroring behaviors in other situations can make people want to talk to and get to know you. Don’t overdo it, or it’ll seem weird but try to match their intensity.

4 – Angle your body towards others

If you want to interact with others, angle your body towards them. Avoid looking directly at them, but focus in their general direction. By looking toward them, you’ll notice if they look at you so that you can make eye contact at that point.

Angling your body toward someone and looking in that general direction shows you’re open to being involved. It’s a welcoming behavior that lets others know they can approach you.

5 – Go out in smaller groups to make yourself more approachable

Going out in large groups can intimidate others and make them afraid to approach you. When others are around, people fear rejection and don’t want others to witness it. People are more likely to talk to you if you are alone or with a small group of one or two other friends.

6 – Focus on having a friendly facial expression

A friendly facial expression is essential for being more approachable. Use the following tips to have a positive facial expression:

  • avoid frowning
  • make eye contact
  • be expressive
  • relax your face, keeping your jaw slightly open
  • keep a smile on the corner of your mouth
  • relax your eyebrows

7 – Make eye contact and smile to look friendly

Making eye contact and smiling shows others you’re open to talking with them. Don’t stare but hold eye contact for a few seconds, blinking occasionally. It makes it less scary for someone to approach you.

As you smile, make sure it reaches your eyes, or it’ll look insincere. Smiling with your eyes involves getting a slight wrinkle at the corner of your eyes and eases a stern face.

friendly

8 – Don’t hide or separate yourself

It’s easy to separate yourself from others if you feel uncomfortable or insecure. You’ll try to take up less space and hide to avoid awkwardness. However, this behavior makes you much less approachable.

Rather than hiding and trying to go unseen, put yourself out there. Walk around an area, checking out the environment without waiting to the side. You can also give your opinion, even when it feels uncomfortable.

Covering your eyes with big sunglasses or your body with oversized clothing can also make you look unapproachable. People might not approach someone if they can’t see their eyes, facial expressions, or body language.

The more often you do these things, the easier it’ll become. While you might feel uncomfortable, it’ll make you more approachable. You’ll quickly see a positive change, showing your discomfort pays off.

9 – Avoid constantly looking at your phone

Staring at your phone or checking it frequently can make you feel like you want to be left alone. While the phone is often a comfort device used when you feel uncomfortable, it prevents you from meeting others. Avoid checking your phone if you want people to approach you.

10 – Stay positive and friendly in your interactions

If you say something positive, it shows you’re open to communicating with those around you. You don’t have to say anything clever but stay positive no matter what you say. Praise the view, a pleasant scent, or how nice something is.

Don’t complain or discuss negative experiences the first time you meet someone. Save those discussions for people you already know well. Positivity makes you stand out, appearing friendly and approachable.

11 – Watch your tone to sound approachable

Your tone can play a role in your approachability. If you sound harsh, other people won’t want to approach you. Sometimes when you feel nervous, you’ll experience a tight throat and stern voice.

One way to alleviate this issue is by trying to relax during the conversation. You can also practice different tones when you’re alone to determine how to make yours sound friendly.

12 – Don’t pretend to be busy

If you’re alone in public, you might pretend you’re busy to avoid discomfort. Some people search in their purses, looking for something they know isn’t there. Others pretend to be in the middle of a phone call.

No matter how you pretend to be busy, it makes you less approachable. People will see that you’re in the middle of something and assume you don’t want to be bothered.

13 – Be friendly first

You don’t have to wait for someone to approach you first. Don’t worry about what they’ll think of you for being friendly because the person might be hoping for the interaction. When others see that you’re open to talking to others, they’ll be more likely to approach you.

Once you introduce yourself, ask personal questions to get the person to open up. Ask how they are, what they do, why they’re there, and other questions you’re curious to know. It shows that you’re a friendly person, open to interaction.

14 – Think about things that make you happy

When you think about things that make you happy, you’ll have an easier time staying relaxed and looking approachable. Think of your pet, a funny video you recently watched, or anything else that brings joy to your mind. It’ll make you look and feel friendly, giving you an advantage in social situations.

15 – Don’t pretend to be perfect; imperfection is more approachable

If you pretend to be perfect, you’ll seem unapproachable. People might be intimidated or worried they won’t live up to your expectations. Admitting to your faults and failures makes you relatable and makes people feel comfortable.

You can also show that you aren’t perfect by speaking up when you need help. Asking for help allows you to meet others and makes everyone feel good. Plus, it’ll encourage more people to approach you as they know you’re friendly and open.

approachable

Final Thoughts on Counselor Reveals Ways to Be More Approachable

If you want to be more approachable, try incorporating some of these methods. It might feel awkward, but you’ll get used to it and notice an improvement.

As you get more comfortable, you’ll find that the methods become a habit for you. It opens you up to more opportunities, friendships, experiences, or romances. Think about how you come across to others and adjust as necessary to show that you’re open to conversation.

Counselor Explains How to Use Thought Replacement for Anxiety

If you struggle with anxiety, you probably have heard of various therapies you can use. Some of them work, while others are an utter disaster. You might try thought replacement therapy if you still seek ways to deal with your anxiety.  

Anxiety is something many people struggle with. For some, it’s such a big issue that it takes over their life. If that’s you, you’re probably always panicked and always overthinking. Anxiety, in its worst form, can hinder your every move. You probably can’t even go grocery shopping without stressing about every little detail. Anxiety is still a menace to deal with, even in mild conditions. 

It still affects people and their mental and physical well-being. And the worst part is that it’s hard to keep it under control. As a result, you might find that you need to spend hours and hours in therapy. Or you could even end up needing medication. 

But what if you need something else to help treat your issue? What if the conventional methods don’t work? What if you want to have a way to deal with it alone, without outside help? Well, in that case, you can use thought replacement as therapy.  

How Does Anxiety Manifest?

thought replacement

Before getting into how thought replacement can help, you must understand anxiety. If you already have this diagnosis, you already know how it manifests. Other people have not sought help and don’t have a diagnosis for their issues. That doesn’t mean they aren’t dealing with some form of anxiety. And you might be one of those people.  

You need to know that anxiety is an umbrella term. It can refer to anxiety disorders or the general feeling of panic and uneasiness. Colloquially, people use the term anxiety when they are scared or apprehensive about something. That use of the term is still valid. It’s even normal to feel some anxiety from time to time. But, from a medical standpoint, anxiety is a mental health condition. 

Generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety, separation anxiety, and phobias are a few examples of anxiety disorders. You need a medical diagnosis if you suffer from one of these disorders. That way, you can get help from a therapist. If you suffer from a severe form, you might even need medication. But how can you tell if your anxiety levels are too high? After all, some anxiety is normal. Well, there are some symptoms you need to watch out for. 

Some of the most common symptoms are restlessness, nervousness, and tiredness. But, of course, these are feelings many people experience to different degrees. If you have anxiety, you will often deal with these issues. You will be abnormally tired and restless, to the point where it interferes with your life. Besides that, you are likely experiencing a constant sense of impending danger. It’s the kind of panic that you can’t ever shake off. It lingers even if there’s nothing to worry about. 

That’s because anxiety is not something that manifests logically. This irrational worry is what’s so bad about it. It makes you feel your life is uncontrollable. It makes you overthink to the point where you can’t focus on other tasks. But the symptoms don’t just manifest on a psychological level. They can also be physical. It’s common for anxious people to have an increased heart rate and experience hyperventilation. This response can lead to sweating, trembling, feeling weak, and having problem sleeping.  

Anxious people are also easily triggered by specific situations or emotions. For example, if you suffer separation anxiety, you dread seeing someone leave. You will try to avoid that at all costs. However, you won’t even be able to be happy about them being with you because of the anxiety. Anxious thoughts will make you overthink to the point where you won’t be able to enjoy the moment.  

Anxiety disorders happen because of a mix of environmental and genetic reasons. Some people have a family history of anxiety and other mental health conditions. That means they are more likely to be born with or develop it during life. Certain personality traits can also make someone prone to developing anxiety. 

For example, shy and introverted people are more likely to have social anxiety. Most notably, anxiety can develop because of past traumatic events. For instance, kids raised by abusive parents will likely grow an anxiety disorder. But accidents, abusive partners, physical illness, and many other things can trigger the development of anxiety.  

How to Use Thought Replacement for Anxiety

anxiety

Before getting into how to use thought replacement, it’s essential to understand what thought replacement is. As you might have figured, it simply means replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. This method is a way of practicing cognitive behavioral therapy. CBT is a form of psychotherapy that aims to help people identify negative thinking patterns and change them. 

This process might sound simple, but it’s not quite so. Sure, the process isn’t complicated, but it takes some time to get used to. That’s because you have to be intentional with it, thought replacement only works if you give it a real shot.  

Thought Replacement Helps you Identify Your Issues.

Thought replacement is a powerful tool because it forces you to identify the root of your issues. Often, people have anxious thoughts because of the way they view themselves. For example, an anxious person will likely believe they are not enough. They could believe that everyone judges them all the time. Besides, you tend to think the worst will happen if you are anxious. For example, if you hear that your company is laying people off, you will automatically assume you’ll also lose your job.  

But how is thought replacement different from trying to comfort and encourage yourself? Well, it differs because it’s an intentional process. Thought replacement works best when done methodically. Take your time to sit down daily and write down all your negative thoughts. Then, write the positive replacement in a parallel column. 

You don’t have to believe those replacements. You have to write them down. What this does is that it shows you what issues you should work on more. For example, maybe the root of your anxiety is a lack of self-confidence, so you’ll have to work on that. When you think about your negative thoughts, you will inevitably uncover issues you weren’t aware of.

It Wires Your Brain to Default to Positivity 

Thought replacement also helps people with anxiety rewire their brains. It enables you to default to positive thinking whenever you spiral. You can use any method you’d like to replace your thoughts if you do it intentionally. For example, the two columns method described above is excellent. But if that doesn’t work for you, you can journal, meditate, or do anything else that fits you.  

When you first start replacing your thoughts, you won’t believe the replacement thoughts. If you doubt your abilities, you won’t automatically stop because you want to. But the trick is to create a routine. That’s how the brain learns new things. It needs patterns so that it can know what to default to. 

If you are anxious, your default will be negative thoughts. You’ll always panic and expect the worst. But when you systematically tell your brain otherwise, it will start believing that. For example, if you tell yourself every day that you are intelligent and strong, after a while, you’ll believe that. If you keep up this routine, you’ll be able to overcome your worries in no time.  

Thought Replacement Becomes a Soothing Routine

Because anxious people can get triggered easily, they must also find ways to cope. You need to self-soothe when you are spiraling or experiencing a panic attack. And thought replacement can be a powerful tool in these situations. Positive thoughts can become your mantras. They can ground you and offer you a glimmer of hope. Plus, you create a routine when you tell yourself nice things every day. It’s something familiar that feels comforting when things get out of control.  

Besides that, thought replacement therapy pushes you to be more self-compassionate. It allows you to understand that you are allowed to make mistakes. So many anxious thoughts come from believing that you have to be perfect. But, when you force yourself to see the bright side of things, you’ll see the bigger picture. 

You’ll understand that being flawed is normal, and you should embrace all your imperfections. It allows you to stop beating yourself up when you make mistakes. That can prevent you from spiraling. It can even prevent some panic attacks. It’s potent when it comes to day-to-day anxiety and worries. When facing those issues, make an effort to think positive thoughts. You’ll see the difference right away. 

thought replacement

Final Thoughts on How to Use Thought Replacement for Anxiety

Anxiety is one of the worst things you’ll have to deal with in your life. It can completely overshadow every nice thing that happens to you. The positives seem unattainable when you are always scared and constantly expect the worst. If you are struggling with any form of anxiety, you must find ways to cope. Just keep in mind that, for severe conditions, you need to consult a therapist. 

No matter how efficient self-help methods are, they can sometimes be insufficient. Very severe forms can only heal using therapy and going to therapy. Therefore, it doesn’t hurt to have ways to self-soothe. That’s what thought replacement is. It’s a form of psychotherapy that can help you calm down and manage your nerves. It can be beneficial in milder cases of anxiety or in dealing with normal nervousness and panic.  

Making a conscious effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones has improved emotional health. But that’s only when you create a routine. It would help if you used thought replacement techniques daily for them to be efficient. This routine will help you identify the root causes of your issues. It will also help you rewire your brain for positivity. But, most importantly, it will help you self-soothe and be more self-compassionate. If you give thought replacement a try, it will do you a lot of good.  

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