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Counselor Explains 6 Causes of Conflict Between Parents and Children

October 29, 2022 by Chris Butler

If you’ve raised children or are in the process, you know it’s no walk in the park. Some days you’re their hero, and there are other days when you’re a zero. The fact is that parents have a hard road to walk, as parenting is one of the most challenging jobs around.

Maybe you’re at the end of your rope with your child and don’t know where to turn. You can rest assured that you’re not the only parent who’s ever contemplated getting in your car and making a run for it. Parenting means you must make tough choices, and your kids are typically not jolly recipients.

You might be rich if you got a nickel for every time you and your child had a parenting conflict. The key is to pick your battles, strive to be the best parents, and know that you will all make mistakes along the way. You hope the result is a happy and well-rounded child who resents your mistakes when when they grow into adulthood.

Remember, there’s no perfect childhood, but you can do your part to make it the best you can. Disagreements are inevitable, but what you do in these times counts. When you step into this vital role, conflict resolution skills are imperative.

6 Common Conflicts Between Parents and Children

You’ve often heard that children should come with an instruction manual, but no book can help you a hundred percent. Admit it; sometimes, you must wing it. There will be disputes, as they’re unavoidable, But when you identify the common parenting conflicts, you can learn how to prevent issues before they erupt.

1. Lack of Empathy on the Part of the Parents

One of the hardest things for parents to understand is that their child fights genuine issues daily at school. Most folks see it as they work forty or more hours a week, so going to school is easy. The truth is that school is a very stressful environment for your child.

Not only is your kid struggling to make friends and fit in, but they might encounter bullies and overwhelming peer pressure. Another primary concern is they’re there to get an education and make good marks. They want to please you, their teacher, and their friends, and it’s all a bit much to take on.

It’s commonplace that parents shut down their children or tell them they’re whining when they are tired and want to sleep after school. You must look at things through their eyes and step into their shoes for a minute. Yes, you work hard every day and have a lot of pressure on your shoulders, but you should never downplay the tensions and struggles your children face.

Your child’s problems are just as real to them as your issues are to you. Staggering numbers were released from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Their studies found that 9.4 percent of children from ages three to seventeen struggle with depression and anxiety.

The next time your child is irritable and whining, remember that one out of every ten children will fight mental illness. It’s undoubtedly eye-opening and can help you keep things in perspective.

2. Parents Refuse To Let The Kids Grow Up

There are different parents, and some are stricter than others. The key to raising a well-rounded child is to allow them to grow and mature without you hovering over them like a helicopter parent. Sure, the world is scary, and you want to protect your kids, but you must learn to cut the safety net free a little at a time.

One of the biggest arguments a parent faces with their child is that they don’t want to let them grow up. Though you want to keep them little, if possible, you must let them grow and mature. Things like wearing makeup, going to a friend’s house for a sleepover, and wearing more mature clothes are usually hotspots for arguments in parenting.

There’s nothing wrong with these things if they’re done decently and safely. Teach them how to dress appropriately, and you should allow them to have more freedom as they grow.

3. Parenting and Favoritism

Do you show favoritism to one child over another? While most parents say they don’t have a favorite, your actions might speak louder than your words. Remember that you’re likely closest to the child who needs you the most now as they go through ebbs and flows in life.

Make sure you divide your time, money, and everything in-between equally with your kids. Sure, some kids make it more challenging to have a relationship with them based on their attitude or personality, but you must make sure everything is always equal. Kids notice the slightest differences and will use these things against you.

4. Parenting Takes a Lot of Time

One of the most significant issues parents face today is a lack of time. There are 168 hours in the week. You work forty or more, sleep roughly fifty or so, and have many other duties. It leaves little time for you to spend with your children.

Your kids need you. Sure, they need you to go to work and provide a living for them, but they want to spend time with you. You don’t have to take them to an amusement park or a fun center to spend quality time together; they just want your attention.

Playing a board game in the evening is exciting for some children. Others want to tell you about their day, color a picture together, or bake some brownies. The more time you invest in your relationship, the fewer struggles and parenting conflicts you’ll experience.

A study published by the National Library of Medicine found that mothers spend more time with their kids than fathers. Additionally, after interviewing over a thousand kids, most see or spend about an hour a day with their parents. One hour is barely enough to learn about their day, eat dinner, and get baths for the night; it’s just not enough.

It’s time to put down your cell phone, turn off the work laptop, and be present with your child. You’ll blink, and they will be grown, and you will have many regrets about the time you didn’t spend with them.

5. Being Unfair with Discipline

Parenting means you must keep law and order in your home. When a conflict occurs, you must handle the issue and see if punishment is warranted. You can ensure your child won’t like the discipline you hand down, but it’s a teaching process where correction is essential.

Some parents want to throw the book at their children when they do something wrong, and it’s commonplace for some to overreact. It would help if you made sure the punishment fits the crime. If you catch your child in a lie, you might want to ground them from video games for a day or two.

However, grounding for a month over a small lie would be unrealistic. Some people have a real issue with bringing past transgressions into the punishment, which is also unfair. Try to calm down before you hand out your sentence. Make sure you’re only judging in this instance and not using your anger to get back at them for everything they’ve done wrong in life.

6. Kids Not Doing Their Chores or Household Responsibilities

If you have a teenager, you likely know that their room might resemble a city dump. There are likely water bottles and snack cake wrappers as far as the eye can see. There are piles of laundry that you know you’ve washed, and they’ve never worn lying on the floor. While this aggravates, you must understand that this is typical behavior for a child.

You must teach them the proper way to keep their room, and you should shut the door and pray for the best. There are some things that you can’t let overwhelm you. Children will buck the system and fight you on keeping their room clean, doing chores, and completing homework.

As parents, you should know these are typical arguments and conflicts within a home. Being prepared with help you to keep eruptions from happening. Chore charts work great for children up till their teenage years. They can see what’s required of them, know the consequences if they don’t do it upfront, and it can prevent some altercations.

Final Thoughts on Conflict Between Parents and Children

Your motto as a parent should be “I always want you to go as far as your wings will carry you.” Letting go is one of the most significant issues you face in child-rearing, and it’s the cause of much conflict. Does any of the six issues above resonate with you? Perhaps you can add a few more to the list.

Being a good parent means listening and communicating with your child. You won’t always do things just right, but they will love and respect you for trying. Mom and Dad, give yourself a brake. You’re trying and doing a great job, and one day they will thank you for your wisdom and guidance.

15 Signs Someone Is Trying to Infect You With Negativity

October 29, 2022 by Chris Butler

The world around you is vastly negative. While there’s much positivity to experience, people tend to be drawn toward the negative aspects and don’t focus on optimism. If you let this negativity into your soul, toxic people around you can destroy your rosy outlook on life. Even worse, some negative folks intentionally attempt to drag you down to their level of misery. Don’t fall for it!

Having people in your life who infect you with negativity can cause you to feel horrible inside. If you want to live a happy life, you will eliminate the people who bring you down and push their pessimism onto you. Even if you try to stay on the sunny side of things, there will always be some toxic people who will cross your path.

Whether it’s work, family members, or those you interact with in the community, doom and gloom seem to be everywhere. You must learn how to inject some positivity into a world where people tend to be pessimistic.

Fifteen Signs Negative People Are Trying to Infect You

When you were young, your parents always told you to choose your friends wisely. Your inner circle says a lot about who you are as a person. If you run with toxic people who bask in pessimism, you will likely be a negative person too.

Sometimes you’re too close to the situation to see what’s right before your eyes. So here are some classic signs that someone is trying to infect you with their negativity.

1. They Love to Point Out Negativity and Flaws

Toxic people like to point out flaws in you and everyone around you. They don’t want to showcase your attributes because that would be positive. They tend to dwell on the negative, so they can’t see anything but failure and imperfections.

This individual will do everything they can to deprive you of happiness, and their motives are not always so sinister. It’s just that they’re so miserable within themselves that they can’t help but infect those around them.

2. Toxic People Gossip Constantly

Another way that a person can infect you with negative things is that they like to gossip. They want to talk about anybody and their brother and what’s going on in their life. Remember that the person who gossips with you will also talk about you to someone else. They will trash talk anyone who will give them the time of day.

3. Someone Full of Negativity Always Criticizes Others

Toxic people never have a kind word to say about anyone. They’re so full of negativity that they only see faults. You may get a headache when you’re around them because the dark cloud that hangs over them makes you physically ill.

It gets tiring to be around someone who only condemns people trying to make a difference in their lives and the world around them.

4. Poison Rolls off Their Tongue

The next time you’re with your friends, listen to the words that come from their mouths. Someone who is trying to infect you with negativity will use pessimistic phrases.

Is their conversation mostly about doom and gloom? Maybe this person doesn’t even realize how their outlook has become so bleak to the world around them. Consequently, it’s certainly not something you want rubbing off on you.

5. Negativity Spreads Insults

Toxic people love to insult folks. They may put you or others down. They have issues with being insecure and immature, which often stems from a troubled childhood. If life was a school playground, they’re the bully. Of course, should limit interactions with such a toxic individual.

6. Toxic People Can’t Stand to See You Win

Your friends should cry with you in your times of sorrow and rejoice with you when you’re winning in life. However, someone who has a problem being negative might not be happy for you when you accomplish things.

They can’t see past their misery and feelings of inadequacy to realize they need to be there for you. They might muster a fake smile, but secretly, they wish it was them, not you. It’s not just you that they have an issue with winning, as they feel this way about most people.

7. Negative People Drain You

Toxic people tend to drain the energy right out of you. Some refer to these folks as energy vampires because they demand so much from their friends. You often feel spiritually and emotionally drained when you spend time with them.

8. Their Negativity Rubs Off on You

Negativity is hard to escape, and you might notice that your attitude turns sour when you’re with toxic people. Few people know that attitudes are contagious. The mental energy it takes to combat such pessimism is challenging, but you must counter this with positivity to stay on an even kilter.

9. A Negative Person Will Fill Your Head with Doubt

If someone wants to infect you with negativity, they will doubt all your dreams and ambitions. They won’t want you to take risks and will point out how silly it is to do whatever you desire. They fill your mind with doubts and don’t offer any support to help you reach your goals.

10. Toxic People Are Jealous

Jealousy is as cruel as the grave, according to an adage. The jealous person is often controlling and insecure. They can’t be happy for anyone else as the success of others just points out their shortcomings.

Hanging with this person can make you feel the old green-eyed monster rising inside you, but you must remember to count your blessings. Never look in the windows of other people’s houses, as you won’t get an accurate account of what’s happening. People who fight jealousy live with preconceived notions that only exist in their minds, and most of the time, it’s based on falsehoods.

11. Their Negativity Can Tear You Down

If you accomplish something fantastic in your life, don’t expect them to be happy for you. They will try everything in their power to downplay your success. They make snippy comments like “anyone can do it,” or “it wasn’t that difficult. “They want to lower your self-esteem to bring you down to their level.

12. Negativity Is Manipulative

Toxic people are often manipulative. They want to affect your mental and emotional states by working you like a puppet on a string. The manipulative person often uses tactics like complaining, mind games, guilt trips, and lying to get what they want.

According to the National Library of Medicine, manipulative people are disagreeable in many aspects of their life. They’re often aggressive and selfish to gain power. The study found that these folks have dominant-aggressive behaviors, so it’s easy to see how this negativity can rub onto you.

13. Lying Is Commonplace

Another negative aspect of a toxic person is that they like to lie. Adding some dishonestly to any story makes it juicier. They often tell you what you want to hear or make up stories to make themselves seem grander.

Experts warn that people who engage in pathological lying often try to make up for shortcomings in their life. These habitual falsehoods mask the inferiority they feel inside.

14. Toxic People Play the Victim

One bad apple can spoil the whole bunch, and the person who plays the victim will rub off on you. They feel like the world owes them something, and they will soon cause you to see things from their point of view. These people are toxic to the bone and will infect you with negativity that changes your mindset on how you look at people and the world around you.

15. Negative People Behave as Superior Over Others

When someone acts like they’re better than someone else, it’s usually due to low self-esteem. However, you don’t need a friend who acts haughty and puffs themselves up around you.

They’re trying to make up for inadequacies they feel inside, but it comes across as they’re humiliating and putting you down. People who use an assertive tone of voice and act superior are not being true to you.

Final Thoughts on Knowing the Signs When Someone Wants to Fill Your Life With Negativity

As a human, you will gravitate to people with similar characteristics. If you see the darker side of every situation, you’re likely to hang with like-minded folks. However, even if you strive to be the best person, those toxic individuals always come around and try to infect their negativity onto you.

These individuals are quick to judge, find fault with everything, and don’t have a kind word to say. They’re often miserable people with low self-esteem, issues from their childhood, past traumatic experiences, or who have unhappy home lives. The world is hostile enough without having people in your inner circle who do nothing but bring you down.

12 Benefits of Being an Introvert

October 29, 2022 by Chris Butler

Do you consider yourself more of an introvert than an extrovert? While it’s nearly impossible to shut yourself away from the world, you may value solitude. The good news is that quiet people like you reap secret benefits that others don’t always realize.

Most introverts are quiet individuals who prefer to keep to themselves. The spectrum of introversion goes from mildly reluctant extroverts to complete misanthropes. Like most of these lovers of solitude, you’re probably somewhere in the middle.

One article explains how introversion doesn’t mean you’re shy. It has more to do with being content with less outside stimulation. While an extrovert craves a crowd, you feel happier doing solitary activities like reading or taking long walks. Of course, that’s not to imply that introversion equals unfriendliness–quite the opposite. Introverted people can be as kind, charming, and personable as their extroverted counterparts. However, they tire from these interactions faster and must restore their soul.

The Psychology of Personality

Since the beginning, humans have wondered what forces make them think and act the way they do. One of the earliest theories concerning personality and health came from Ancient Greece. An article published by the Harvard Library states that Hippocrates constructed the humoral theory.

This theory taught that your personality was linked to four body fluids: black and yellow bile, red blood, and phlegm. Not only did the ancient Greeks believe that the humor ratio allegedly created character, but they also believed an imbalance caused disease and poor health.

Fast-forward to Dr. Carl Jung, one of the pioneers of human psychology and psychiatry. Jung was fascinated by the relationship between personality, actions, and self-realization. He was the first to coin the words extroversion and introversion.

According to Jung, extroverts direct their attention and energy to the external world. Introverts are more in tune with their inner voice, ideas, and feelings. Jung believed that the path toward better health and self-realization is a balance of these attributes.

Twelve Secret Benefits of Being an Introvert

No one is a hundred percent introverted or extroverted. However, people tend to display more personality traits than others. You’ve probably known since an early age that you’re a social butterfly or a loner.

One of the misconceptions of quiet people is that they’re intellectually or socially deficient. The truth is that they are often brilliant and particular about connecting with people. If you’re an introvert, these are twelve benefits to consider.

1. An Introvert Has More Privacy

The introduction of the internet and other technological advances has benefited the entire world. An almost infinite amount of information is right at your fingertips. The downside is that with these advantages comes a more significant loss of anonymity and privacy.

Guarding your personal information is a must, especially since identity theft and other scams are prevalent. Protecting your privacy is of the utmost importance if you’re an introvert. You’re not the one who befriends thousands of strangers on social media.

You’ll only share information with those you trust, and then only what’s necessary. Your home is your sanctuary, and it’s rarely party central. For you, privacy and solitude are what you crave the most.

2. Materialism Doesn’t Mean as Much

In this present age of materialism and excess, introverts are an anomaly. Most extroverts thrive on social interaction and everything that it involves. For these outgoing folks, more means more, whether people or possessions.

As a loner, you’re most likely to be a minimalist. You prefer quality time and experiences above keeping up with social crowds. Quiet people like you realize that possessions are only temporary and will never bring lasting joy.

3. Quiet People Have More Clarity in Their Goals

Do you know people who have goals but they’re not their own? It’s another subtle way that society tells them what they must do or be to gain success. Sadly, countless individuals are caught up in a whirlwind of false aspirations reminiscent of The Great Gatsby.

One of the benefits of introversion is answering yourself. You don’t allow social media and other external fronts to dictate your life’s path. You use self-reflection and a strong sense of intuition to guide your decisions.

4. The World Needs an Introvert Like You!

Isn’t it reassuring that this world is big enough for various personalities? Society needs people with different characters, ideas, strengths, and experiences to thrive. Introverts are just as essential to societal survival as extroverts.

Every career has advantages and disadvantages for both personality types. If you are one of the quiet people, you will excel in jobs that require long hours of solitude. On the other hand, extroverts shine in things like marketing, sales, and other people-oriented careers.

5. You Often Think on a Higher Level

Just because you like solitude doesn’t mean you are more intelligent than extroverts. However, you’re more apt to spend time on more profound thoughts. An article published by the National Library of Medicine suggests that introverts process information slower than extroverts.

Such an attribute is an asset for teachers, philosophers, and those who work in the mental health field. You spend more time considering the pros and cons and tend to be more objective. Consequently, solitary tasks like reading and researching solutions are natural for you.

6. You Consider Other People

Extroverted people are at their best when mingling and chatting in a crowd. However, loners take this opportunity to listen and observe. You are probably skilled in nonverbal cues like body

language and basic intuition.

You’re also more likely to be more empathetic to others and can feel their emotions. While your conversations are few and far between, those you have are meaningful. Sometimes, you may experience hypersensitivity, making you avoid a lot of socialization.

7. The Introvert Is a Better Listener

It stands to reason that quiet people like you would listen more than they speak. Since chatting isn’t your thing, you would rather listen anyway. Over time, you’ve probably developed excellent active listening skills that have served you well.

You’re interested in what the other person is saying and take time to process their words. Instead of interrupting or thinking about what you’ll say next, you mirror the speaker’s emotions. The neutral body language you use shows you’re listening and aren’t distracted.

8. You Often Have More Meaningful Relationships

It’s true that extroverts rarely meet a stranger and enjoy a vast network of friends and colleagues. It’s easy for them to form personal and professional relationships. However, many of these relationships are superficial and lack a genuine bond.

Quiet people like you don’t allow many folks into your circle of trust. Your philosophy says that every relationship is unique, and there’s no need to bring more people into your life than necessary. Consequently, your few relationships are close, meaningful, and lasting.

9. An Introvert Can Be Highly Creative

Few can dispute the benefits of the creativity spawned by collective brainstorming. It happens in families, at work, and in other social situations. Everyone contributes their thoughts and ideas and agrees on a solution or discovery.

Introversion is also an ideal personality trait that boosts creativity. Most artists, polymaths, and inventors throughout history found creative inspiration in solitude. When you are alone with your thoughts, it’s easier to listen to your inner voice.

10. You Have More Energy and Time

Let’s face it: socializing with others takes a lot of time and energy. Attending parties or going for a night on the town often leaves you little time for yourself. Therefore, introverts would rather

kick back for a quiet night of solitary activities.

Spending enough time alone can make you more aware of self-care. You have more time for journaling, meditation, and other tools for reflection. More self-care means you can recharge your internal batteries and have time to do what you want.

11. You Value Your Independence

Although no person is an island, quiet folks like you strive to be as independent as possible. Few things make you feel more uncomfortable than the need to depend on someone. You also don’t want to owe people or be obligated.

You may interact with others without necessity, but you don’t have to rely on them. Throughout your life, you’ve realized that you’re responsible for your health and happiness. A priority in your life gives you greater clarity to set and achieve goals.

12. You Think Before You Do or Say Something

Nobody is immune from accidentally saying something and putting their foot in their mouth. Also, who hasn’t done something, they’ve regretted? It’s the human condition and why apologies and forgiveness will always exist.

If you’re introverted, you probably spend more time thinking than talking. This habit has trained you to pause and think before speaking or acting. Those few moments of silence may save you many embarrassing moments and regrets.

Final Thoughts on the Benefits of Being an Introvert

Whether you’re an introvert or extrovert doesn’t determine your happiness or future. Take your strengths and use them to the best of your ability. You’ll achieve your goals and enjoy the success and satisfaction you’ve defined for yourself. Quiet people are just as good as those who crave an active social scene, but your needs differ.

10 Signs of Spiritual Love In A Relationship

October 29, 2022 by Chris Butler

Everyone longs for a deep relationship that feel magical. Most folks experience this with their soulmates, but some call it spiritual love because you connect on a cosmic level. If you haven’t experienced this spirituality, it might be because you haven’t found the one yet.

Spiritual love feels fantastic, and you can count your many blessings once you achieve it. Some individuals long for this bond with someone they can share their heart and soul with. Still, they somehow come up empty-handed. If you have, you should consider it a gift from the Universe–you are blessed with one of the most powerful gifts.

This unique gift will make your life rewarding and happy and give you more excitement than you can imagine. You may wonder why this type of love is so important. When you have a deeper connection with your partner, everything seems more enhanced. Even the brush of their arm can send chills down your spine.

When you go through times of trouble, you feel comforted having them beside you. Dare you say that spiritual connections make love enchanting and more meaningful?

Ten Indications of Spiritual Love in a Relationship

How do you know if you and your partner share a spiritual love? One of the signs that you have such an association is that your love doesn’t have any rules or conditions to stay intact. You love everything about your partner, including their flaws. Here are some signs that your love is one written in the stars and on a deeper spiritual level.

1. Honesty Is Important in Spiritual Love

Spirituality in your relationship means being honest with one another, even when it hurts. White lies aren’t allowed, as you’re truthful with one another because you know that you can trust each other. Not only is this an excellent foundation for your relationship, but it eliminates unnecessary worries and doubts.

Trivial lies can damage intimacy, but these things don’t occur in spiritual love. You’re both on the same wavelength and have the same values regarding honesty, trust, and integrity. When your loving relationship is based on truth, it’s a sign that you have a divine connection, as you wouldn’t dare be dishonest with someone you love.

2. There’s Growth and Encouragement

A loving relationship, where spirituality is the basis for the connection, allows growth. You feel comfortable pointing out when your partner is going in the wrong direction, and you can use constructive criticism to get them back on track.

Growth happens when someone can admit their faults and change their course. You lift each other and don’t tear one another down, as your relationship is not just a spiritual love but also fulfilling in all ways. One of the measures of the strength of your relationship is the growth you’ve obtained together and apart.

If you’re not growing, you stagnate, and it’s not a good place to be. When you water and nurture a plant, it matures, and you could think the same about your relationship. Speaking of plants, the root system is what keeps them alive. Your relationship also has strong roots. Thus, it can withstand whatever comes your way due to its good foundation.

3. You’re At Total Ease When Spirituality Drives Your Connection

Spiritual love connections allow you to feel at total ease with one another. You don’t place unrealistic expectations on your partner, and you don’t have to change yourself into someone you’re not to make them happy. When you’re together, there’s nothing but total comfort and happiness.

There’s never a question of loyalty, as you find peace and contentment in each other’s arms. Some may find it challenging to understand your loving relationship, but you’re tough as steel. You won’t break when challenges come your way. You love them wholeheartedly, and nothing can come between you.

4. The Physical Attraction Is Undeniable

When it comes to spirituality and being connected with someone you love, it’s common to think that these bonds only occur in the mind and soul. Nothing could be further from the truth. The physical chemistry between you is explosive.

Many folks love intimacy as it fills their physical chemistry, but when it comes to romance, you two knock it out of the park. You’re free to experiment, submit yourself, and allow the electricity to flow in your spiritual love.

5. Laughs Come Easy in a Spiritual Love Relationship

You know that part of a loving relationship means you can laugh together. You want to find someone who makes mundane tasks like going furniture shopping fun. Laughter has always been the best medicine, and there are studies to prove it.

According to the National Library of Medicine, engaging in laughter can reduce physical tension and stress, as well as give you relief from tense muscles for nearly an hour. Plus, there are many other benefits to staying on the sunny side of life.

6. Spiritual Love Is Not Insecure or Fearful

Spirituality is something special to add to your relationship, as it removes insecurities and fears. While others may doubt their partner’s love and devotion, you’re freed from these unnecessary worries. You have an intimacy with one another that brings you comfort and security.

You have these intense feelings, and your partner feels the same about you. You would never criticize one another for having differences, but you celebrate the uniqueness that makes you who you are in life. Your love isn’t demanding, but it keeps on giving.

7. The Communication Is Meaningful

One of the best ways to keep a loving relationship thriving is to have great conversations. A couple that doesn’t communicate well will have all sorts of problems. Your discussions are meaningful and can be about anything and everything. Spiritual love allows you to explore many topics, which is a significant indication that you enjoy the company of your partner.

According to Stevenson University, one of the most significant issues in communication is that people often hear what they want to hear and discard the rest. However, they state that when the communication is effective, everyone leaves the conversation feeling satisfied and accomplished.

The bond formed from a loving relationship is deeper because your spirituality allows you to connect and indulge in meaningful conversations. It’s rare to find such qualities in a person, and you’ve hit the jackpot.

8. Spiritual Love Reflects Mutual Respect for Each Partner

Spirituality allows you to have a deep respect for each other. Each couple is different, as everyone has unique traits. One couple might crave independence, while another needs to maintain a layer of separation. You have enough respect for one another to allow for these differences, and you respect these opinions and views in each other.

Some couples might see them as flaws or issues to cause arguments, but your loving relationship allows you to embrace the differences. You’re open-minded, well-balanced, and genuine with your partner, and the mutual respect you have is what will keep you together.

9. The Spirituality Flows When Astrological Signs Are Compatible

If you consider the spirituality of your relationship, it seems only fitting that your signs are compatible on earth as they are in the heavens. You’ve heard that true love is written in the stars. When you have an astrological sign that meshes well with your lover, it adds another layer of proof of a destined relationship.

When you have a soul connection, it transcends this physical planet and goes into a world that seems a million miles away. Some folks might seem a bit far out there, but many believe that true love and soulmates are destined.

10. You’re Entranced with One Another

Many people have relationships built on convenience; some are together because they have nothing better to do. Some are together because they want to share bills, while others share children. People stay together for many reasons, but it’s not always because of true love.

The spiritual love connection makes everything different. You’re together because you want to be together and only have eyes for one another. You have a communication level that’s all your own, as you can gaze into one another’s eyes and know what the other person is thinking.

Some folks might say that you’re under a spell the way you act so entranced with your partner, but you know it’s only the spell of true love.

Final Thoughts on Spiritual Love in a Relationship

How does your relationship measure up? Did the Universe foretell your love, or is this proof that the one you’re with isn’t the one for you? When you have a deep spiritual love, you will know it in your heart and soul.

This person is your better half, and you can’t imagine your life without them. To remove them from your life would be like taking away a vital part of your being. They make the world around you a better place, and they certainly make you a better person. Isn’t that what love is all about?

4 Ways to Outsmart Toxic People

October 28, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Toxic people can quickly drain you of your energy. But unfortunately, they know just how to get under your skin, and because of their malicious intent, they often find ways to outsmart the kindness of decent, well-intentioned people around them.

Trying to play the mind games of a toxic person can be tiring. So instead, you can find ways to get a one-up on them and leave them floundering in a mess of their own making. Here are four ways to outsmart toxic people.

1. Avoid And Ignore Toxic People

The easiest way to outsmart toxic people is simply not engaging in their shenanigans. Toxic people thrive off your reactions to them, as these reactions fuel the fire and allow them to exploit and manipulate you. So your best bet in almost all cases is to ignore toxic people, which ensures they have nothing to work with. This usually frustrates them, but it’s in your best interest. Ignoring them empowers you to retain your sense of compassion and kindness instead of adding fuel to the fire.

Don’t Get Involved In The Drama Of Toxic People

Petty feuds, drama, and gossip follow toxic people like moths to a flame. So it can feel tempting to listen in on rumors and whispers about petty goings-on. Still, the temporary pleasure of being involved in gossip is quickly outweighed by the negativity that comes with it.

People who like to gossip are always looking for a new rumor to spread, so stay out of it and share nothing juicy with them. Research shows that gossip can be beneficial in situations where cooperation is necessary. However, toxic people do not view you as a team member or trusted person, which means you won’t get any of the social benefits of the practice. It won’t end well!

Don’t Give Attention-Seekers Attention

Toxic people often try to grab all the attention possible. They can’t stand someone else becoming the center of their current focus. Did someone get a promotion? Is it someone’s birthday or anniversary? Is someone grieving a terrible loss? It doesn’t matter, as toxic people will do everything possible to make it about them. They’ll act out, interrupt other people, be unnecessarily obnoxious, and get progressively more destructive over time.

Even negative attention is a win for an attention-seeking toxic person, so they may throw tantrums, start arguments, or manufacture conflict to get the spotlight back on them. Don’t give them satisfaction and focus entirely on the people who deserve to have some attention on them. Simply ignore toxic people and don’t take their bait.

Don’t Fall For False Kindness

Many toxic people will try to win people over by offering them kindness, compliments, and affectionate gestures. But be wary of this, as you can’t accept what someone is incapable of giving. Toxic people do this to get on your good side, take advantage of you, or because they perceive you as a threat. So pay attention to how they treat other people and act accordingly.

Avoid Toxic People Altogether

Once you have determined that someone is toxic, your best bet is to avoid them. Some people can show kindness to those with harmful traits, as most toxic people are insecure or have numerous personal struggles that they project onto others. While this is a perfectly noble thought process, it’s also not worth following most of the time. Toxic people must take the initiative to change and grow independently, and no one else can truly help them or fix them unless they put in their effort first.

2. Recognize Less Stereotypical Forms Of Toxicity

You can’t outsmart toxic people unless you’re able to recognize signs of toxicity. While some harmful people will display their negative traits in obvious and easy-to-spot ways, many opt for subtler approaches. Common ideas of toxicity are often almost movie-like in their outward obviousness, but in real life, people are less likely to take the stereotypical “mean girls” approach.

In addition, learning to recognize different types of toxicity allows you to tailor your approach to them to outsmart the toxic people perpetrating these actions. Here are some forms of toxicity to take note of:

Excessive Cynicism

There are plenty of cynical individuals who are not toxic people. Indeed, some toxic people are so cynical that their negative view of the world around them pollutes every interaction, leading to a decrease in positivity in the environment. This makes them hard to be around.

They may complain excessively, constantly mistrust others, and fail to provide positive things in their relationships. You may also feel like you can never do enough to satisfy them. Studies show that excessive cynicism can negatively affect well-being, which is why these individuals tend to have such a sour view of the world and so much insecurity.

Hot Tempers Indicate Toxic People

Many people are hot-tempered and unhealthy, but there are still plenty of toxic people with anger issues. Worse still, many people, especially men in positions of power or authority, tend to get away with anger. Sometimes, this is excused as passion, stress, or dominance, even when it goes too far.

Hot tempers become dangerous when constant anger is present or someone unfairly directs their outrage at certain people. Their ire may fly at you over the slightest perceived error on your part. This can sometimes escalate to threats, loud voices, hostile questions, interrogations, and intense language.

Anyone Who Drains Your Kindness and Mental Health

Sometimes, you may have trouble pinpointing the exact trait that makes someone toxic. For example, some toxic people are manipulative and savvy enough that you may think they’re perfectly upstanding individuals and may not realize their impact on others. So pay attention to how you feel around the people around you.

Do you feel drained after spending time with them on a level beyond normal tiredness? Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells? Does this person make you feel smaller or less important? Don’t dismiss these red flags.

3. Regulate Your Emotions Around Toxic People

Emotional regulation is a tremendous skill that everyone should learn, and this skill will be put to the test when you’re dealing with toxic people. Many toxic people know how to push your buttons and make you angry or sad, once again aiming to get your reaction.

When you know how to regulate and manage your emotions, you can avoid giving toxic people the desired reactions. Here are some tips:

Remain Aware Of Your Feelings

Emotions get better when we stop paying close attention to them. Therefore, it’s crucial to remain aware of your feelings around negativity. First, stay mindful of how they affect you and act and react accordingly. Then, when you notice your feelings start to run off, take a break to collect yourself and identify the source of each emotion.

Stay Grounded In Your Innate Happiness

Ground yourself by focusing on your body and surroundings when someone upsets you. Notice tense muscles, relax them, and pay close attention to your breathing as you gently and slowly deepen each breath. Release any obvious signs of tension, such as a clenched jaw or fist, and allow the toxic person’s upsetting words to fade into the background while you focus on your happy place. Anything you say in anger will violate your standards of kindness–you will regret it later!

Pick Your Battles

Some hills are not worth dying on, and any hill built by a toxic person is likely a waste of time to climb. So stand up for yourself against bullying and reinforce your boundaries, but don’t let yourself get dragged into tiresome arguments that ultimately go nowhere.

Focus On Rationality

Don’t lose sight of reality when working with a toxic person. Instead, focus on working toward solutions and being practical. It’s important not to slip away from concentrating on goals and how to get there. The same goes for your thoughts relating to a toxic person. It’s hard to be rational and objective if you care about them, so stick to the facts and focus on what you know instead of on “what ifs” and hope. It sounds harsh, but you’re better off being objective and acting only on certain facts.

4. Let Toxic People Reveal Themselves

Because toxic people can be manipulative, it’s a common belief that they’re almost akin to masterminds that are always three steps ahead. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Just like everyone else, toxic people are human beings. They’re fallible, and, for the most part, they tend to be insecure and alarmingly vulnerable.

If you don’t play into their hands, their true nature is always revealed eventually. Here are some things to keep in mind so you can outsmart toxic people by letting them reveal themselves:

Let Their Lies Trip Them Up

It is tough to keep track of just one lie to keep a story straight, let alone several. However, toxic people will eventually trip up and accidentally contradict themselves. You can point out the contradiction and watch their web of lies crumble.

Don’t Explain Yourself

You don’t owe toxic people an explanation. Often, trying to over-explain a situation makes you look guiltier or allows them to manipulate you or twist your arm. “No” is a full sentence, so simply say “no.” A toxic person frustrated with not getting their way will show signs of toxicity when you are unmoved by their efforts.

Ask For Simple, Straight Answers

Toxic people use vague statements and responses to trip up the people around them. Instead of playing guessing games and filling in the blanks for them, act oblivious and request clarifications. So many things toxic people are going for sound ridiculous when voiced out loud, and toxic people know that hence their desire to be cryptic. You take that power away from them by only acting on explicitly stated things.

Final Thoughts On Mastering How To Outsmart Toxic People While Keeping Your Own Kindness

Toxicity allows some people to get what they want. Learning to outsmart them will quickly show them that you won’t fall prey to their games and shenanigans. You’ll keep your peace of mind and stay true to your sense of kindness when you respond using these techniques.

Study Reveals That People with Tattoos and Piercings Often Had Childhood Abuse

October 28, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Tattoos and body piercings are common and have become a popular trend. People have different reasons for getting body modifications, including childhood abuse. While childhood trauma isn’t the only reason for getting tattoos or piercings, its prevalence is worth discussing.

Everyone chooses tattoos with different meanings, making them personal marks of their life. There are many ideas to choose from, or you can design something entirely new. Either way, the permanent mark will mean something special to you.

Tattoos say quite a bit about the person who has them, so it’s essential to think about it before you get one. Piercings are temporary, so they don’t require much reflection, but they still give insight into the person who has them.

People with Tattoos and Piercings Often Had Childhood Abuse

One study published in BMC Psychology indicates a link between body modifications and childhood abuse. Research shows people are more likely to get body modifications if they experienced childhood trauma in their past.

The prevalence of body modifications was higher depending on the severity of the abusive situation. During the study, participants answered questions regarding childhood abuse and neglect, the extent of the trauma, and whether they had body modifications.

The results indicated that 48% of people who experienced abuse have tattoos or pieces. In comparison, only 35% of those who didn’t experience abuse had tattoos. Experts also cited a strong link between the severity of trauma and a higher number of body modifications.

While these findings offer some insight, there are some limitations. Since the study focused on self-reporting, it could include inconsistencies or inaccurate answers.

The findings indicate a correlation, but more research is necessary. Researchers also suggest body modifications could be a therapeutic method to signify a traumatic event or current prevalent theme in their life.

Other Studies of Body Art and Trauma

Other studies show that tattoos are more common for people with mental disorders. These people are also more likely to receive mental health services.

Experts indicate that tattoos can hint at specific psychiatric conditions. They can also give insight into the inner thoughts and well-being of the person. The study indicates that those with tattoos also have higher rates of:

drug misuse
alcoholism
risk-taking behavior
impulsivity
self-harm

Is Childhood Abuse Always Prevalent if Someone Gets a Tattoo?

While the previous studies cited childhood abuse as why people get tattoos, not all research agrees. Other experts indicate that having tattoos is associated with high self-esteem. The experts claim that tattoos and piercings do not signify mental disorders, contradicting other studies.

Other Reasons People Get Tattoos

People get tattoos as a form of non-verbal communication, although the meaning varies based on the person. Some of the reasons people get tattoos can include:

religious purposes
gaining a sense of belonging
covering specific body areas
to seem tough
asserting independence and individuality
rebellion
enhancing image or looking fashionable
communicating inner ideas or conflict
self-expression
strength or aggression
social resistance

History of Tattoos

When you get a tattoo, pigment gets inserted with a needle just below where the dermal and epidermal meet. Your immune system attacks it, and it sits in your cells. As it sits in the macrophages and fibroblast cells, it produces permanent skin coloration.

The earliest examples were in Pharaonic Egypt and indicated status and belonging. They also served as markers of protection or for therapeutic reasons.

In the Maori of New Zealand, tattoos showed status, rank, ancestry, and abilities. In other areas, tattoos were a rite of passage among warriors, indicating that the painful ritual was sacred. Tattoos are also used in tribes to show belonging to a nomadic guild.

Sailors got tattoos to show the trials they fought through and their status on the ship. They also got them to differentiate themselves from non-sailors.

Tattoos became less common during the Dark and Middle Ages, mostly disappearing. However, they were still prevalent among those who didn’t follow the law. The word ‘tattoo’ got introduced by Captain Cook to the Western world during the 18th century. It became well-known but didn’t immediately become popular. Now, 24% or more of the general population has at least one tattoo.

The Categories of the Imagery

Tattoos have become decorative and artistic and often signify something about the person. Tattoos are also used for cosmetic reasons after surgery to cover scars or physical trauma.

People choose various tattoo designs, locations, and content. Some of the tattoo classifications in history include:

identification tattoos, including military service emblems, personal information, and traumatic events
love tattoos, including sentimental or idealized
pseudo-heroic or bombastic tattoos, including death, power, skulls, and crossbones
fate tattoos, including symbols for luck or superstitious ideas
private tattoos, including those that are only significant to the person who gets it
miscellaneous tattoos, including birds, flowers, and other random things

The Meaning Behind Popular Tattoos

Tattoos have different meanings for each individual who receives them. There are meanings behind many popular tattoos, although the person who gets them might not mean it that way. These meanings are only a guideline, and the person may not fit the description even if they have the tattoo.

Five dots

A tattoo of five dots in an arrangement like on dice indicates the trauma of incarceration. The four dots show the cell, and the fifth dot in the center represents the prisoner.

Stars

Star tattoos indicate honor, hope, intuition, desire, or guidance. They can also symbolize success and progress toward your goals. However, in Russia, having a star on the chest or shoulder means the person is a high-ranking criminal.

Spider webs

Spider webs can represent fear or danger and, in some cases, violence. It can either mean that you’re trying to overcome a fear or you want to appear intimidating. These tattoos can sometimes indicate a prison sentence. It represents being trapped, as in trapped behind bars.

An X

This tattoo indicates negative feelings and implies that things are amiss. It can also reveal a barrier that holds you back. However, it can also show boldness and bravery or imply eroticism.

Spade

A spade tattoo can indicate military service and war or symbolize sin. A Queen of Spades symbol is a feminine design, while the King of Spades is masculine. Couples sometimes get these tattoos together to honor their relationship.

Ship Wheel

When someone gets a ship wheel tattoo, it could symbolize navigation and direction. It can help people remember the direction they want their life to go. This tattoo serves as a reminder to stay focused and persevere through the hard times.

Wave

Having a tattoo of a wave can symbolize passion and drive. It might be that the person is passionate about their family, career, or life.

Skull

There are a few common skull tattoos. One is a sugar skull, part of the celebration of Dia de Muertos, or the Day of the Dead. Mexican and Latin American cultures celebrate this festivity.

A sugar skull represents ancestors who have passed away and come back to earth to be honored. Getting a tattoo of it is often a way to honor ancestors.

Another common tattoo is a skull with wings. It can be a symbol of foreboding or danger.

A skull with wings could indicate that the person lives a dangerous life or often thinks about death. It also can represent the desire to live adventurously without letting people or things interfere.

Sun

The sun can represent a few things depending on the design. A rising sun indicates a new beginning, while a tribal sun tattoo represents strength.

Cross with birds

This tattoo represents freedom from the expectations of society. Someone with this tattoo feels free or doesn’t care what others think of them.

Paper Airplane

A paper airplane tattoo can represent a love of traveling or a desire to see the world. Other people get this tattoo to show their adventurous and carefree side. It can also remind people of their childhood or that moving forward is essential.

Mountains

Tattoos of mountains indicate courage and spirit. A mountain range represents a person’s life journey, including the good and bad times. The high and low tops of the mountains represent the natural flow of life.

Crescent Moon

A crescent moon tattoo represents many things, including a love of nighttime. It can also indicate feminine energy, freedom from guilt or evil, and a sign of strength. A crescent moon may also show darkness within.

Manta Ray

A manta ray tattoo represents focusing your energy on achieving your goals. It encourages you to stay calm and not let emotions control your direction. A manta ray tattoo also inspires tranquility and movement.

Final Thoughts on People with Tattoos and Piercings Often Had Childhood Abuse

While some studies show tattoos and piercings indicate childhood abuse or trauma, others disagree. It can be hard to pinpoint the meaning of body modifications since they are personal to each individual who gets them.

Before getting a tattoo, you can reflect on what it symbolizes. You can get whatever tattoo or piercing appeals to you, regardless of what it means to others.

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