10 Ways to Set Proactive Boundaries Before Someone Hurts You

October 11, 2022 by Chris Butler

Why is it crucial to be proactive when establishing personal and professional boundaries? The celebrated poet Robert Frost once observed that good fences make good neighbors. The sooner other people see your fence line, the better.

What are the Five Types of Boundaries?

Your parents taught and enforced basic guidelines to protect you. As you got older, you added some of your own according to your preferences. These are the five basic categories of personal perimeters.

1. Physical

Imagine that you are encased in an invisible bubble. The size of everyone’s bubble varies according to their comfort zone. It represents your body, personal space, and privacy.

2. Intimacy

These are your standards for the intimate touch and conversations you expect or find uncomfortable. When you say “no,” or “enough,” you mean what you say, and there should be no questions.

3. Emotional

Some people are reserved and aren’t comfortable with self-disclosure. Maybe you’ll only share your feelings with your partner and the people in your circle, or you may gradually take your time and reveal your inner emotions.

4. Intellectual

It takes trust and confidence for you to share your deepest thoughts and ideas with another person. If someone ignores you and acts like your thoughts are trivial and foolish, they’re not respecting your intellectual guidelines.

5. Financial

Here’s a standard that can get tricky when it involves family and close friends. Your money is your business, and you have the right to manage it as you choose. While you are generous, one of your standards may be that you rarely, if ever, loan money.

People who respect your relationship rules won’t even ask. They understand that these are the guidelines you’ve established. Those who insist on loans or are nosey about your finances have no regard for you or the relationship.

10 Ways to Be Proactive with Your Boundaries

Do you want to save time and frustration in personal and professional relationships? Let them know where you stand first, and there’ll be less confusion. Here are twelve ways to help you get on the right path.

1. Set Your Boundaries Early in the Relationship

Being proactive with your boundaries can help you minimize any misunderstandings from the start. Of course, you don’t want to spout off a bunch of rules and regulations the moment you meet a potential love interest. However, establishing your perimeters early is essential if it progresses into a relationship.

Misunderstandings and hurt feelings will be less likely, and you’ll know where you stand. People respect you more in personal or professional relationships when you have standards. Please don’t wait until someone crosses a line before you draw it.

2. Begin with Smaller Ones

It’s easy to become overwhelmed when you start with a hefty list of dos and don’ts. You may find it less stressful if you start with smaller boundaries, especially if you don’t have many in place.

You can still be proactive and go at your own pace. Eventually, you keep perimeters that work and discard ones that don’t suit you. These standards will probably evolve as your relationship does.

3. Reflect on How Your Boundaries Benefit You

The whole idea of having boundaries is to protect your heart and dignity. Once you’ve established some basic rules, you have time to reflect on them. You know what and who, but you must also know the whys.

Have toxic or traumatic experiences in the past negatively affected your perimeters? Perhaps you’ve drawn your circle so small that nobody can fit into your life anymore. If your standards aren’t benefiting you, it’s time to discover why they aren’t working.

4. Be Consistent

The only way to be genuine and transparent in any relationship is to be consistent. If you establish a set of rules for one day, they should be the same daily.

For example, you’ve been proactive and clarified that you don’t want to move in together for a while. You may give mixed signals if you begin rearranging your significant other’s furniture. Make sure you’re transparent with them; never say one thing and do another.

5. Don’t Allow Social Media to Blur Them

Until the start of the internet, couples chatted on landline phones when they weren’t meeting face-to-face. They also sent greeting cards and love letters by post when their lover was away. Now, relationships can develop quickly with smartphones and other electronic devices.

Couples can instantly message their lover throughout the day. While social media can be an exceptional communication tool, it has its downfalls.

You don’t want personal information and every photo splashed over the Internet. Social media can often blur your parameters unless you take a stand. Be proactive and let your partner know if anything crosses the line, digital or not.

6. Be Comfortable with Saying “No” While Setting Boundaries

According to an article published by the Greater Good Science Center, being a chronic people-pleaser doesn’t benefit you. Helping others isn’t the same as trying to please them. While you’re trying to satisfy everyone, you’re neglecting your own needs and wants.

The easiest way to stop trying to please people is a polite but firm “no.” There will always be worthy causes and individuals who need a hand. How often have you been hit with a request to do something because nobody else will do it?

If folks see you as a pushover, you’ll forever be asked to chair committees, contribute money, and babysit for free. Do yourself a favor and be judicious with your time, money, and resources. Stop permitting people to walk all over you; you must learn to say “no.”

When you set limitations on what you will and won’t do, you’ll be free to be involved in projects you genuinely enjoy. You want to be compassionate and help your friends and family in need. Remember that you are an occasional helping hand, not a permanent crutch.

7. Gain a Healthy Perspective

Your perimeters are meant as guidelines and not chains. Don’t be so dogmatic with them that you can’t breathe. Building too many walls may keep you safer, but they inevitably make you a self-imposed prisoner.

It’s easy to overthink your safety zone when you’ve been in an abusive or toxic situation. You may be hypervigilant and suspicious of everyone who crosses your path. How can you revise your standards while keeping your safety and dignity intact?

An article published by Harvard Medical School explains that concentration meditation can help you gain focus and clarity. Journaling is also a beneficial tool for discovering new perspectives. Many people also find that therapy can help them review and sort their boundaries.

8. Maintain Open Communication

How can anybody know your perimeters unless you tell them? Mind reading may be a fun carnival trick, but it doesn’t work in real life. If you want people to respect you, let them know how you expect to be treated.

Be proactive and discuss your boundaries in a personal or professional relationship. Effective communication is especially crucial with your mate. Share frequent and meaningful conversations about each other’s thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

Since communication is a two-way street, each side speaks and listens. You don’t want to just “hear” each other. Active listening takes time to consider what’s being said and empathize with the speaker’s emotions. Don’t forget to ask for clarifications to lessen the chances of a misunderstanding.

9. Add to Your Basic List as Needed

Relationships mature just like people, and your perimeters may need to widen. You may not have foreseen some situations or see things differently. Either way, you can clarify them or revise them as needed.

The same can be said of your professional relationship with co-workers. There are probably set guidelines that everyone follows out of respect for each other. However, you can add different perimeters to maintain your comfort and self-esteem.

10. Respect Other People’s Boundaries

You can’t expect other people to respect your wishes if you don’t respect theirs. When you do, you prove that you’re a respectful and trustworthy person. It can strengthen your relationships at home, work, and public.

The best way to provide mutual respect is to listen to each other. You accept each other as you are without pushing for changes. Everyone is an individual, and you respect their right to autonomy. Instead of pointing out everyone’s flaws, work on your shortcomings.

Final Thoughts on Being Proactive with Your Boundaries

You are responsible for creating and enforcing your standards. While compromise is part of any healthy relationship, nobody should ask you to give in to these things. Be your advocate, teach people how you want to be treated, and show them the same courtesy.

10 Ways to Stand Up For Yourself (And When You Should)

October 11, 2022 by Power of Positivity

Conventional wisdom says it’s vital that you stand up for yourself. You may feel you’re not a strong person. How can you be assertive when you need to? Here are ten ways to stand up for yourself when you should.

What’s the difference between assertive and aggressive?

These two words get confused, but there’s a big difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Here’s a brief breakdown of both terms.

Aggressive: Disrespectful, angry, pushy, “You” statements, attack mode to get something
Assertive: Respect, but firm, open conversation, open but stand your ground, “I” statements.

When you stand up for yourself, you must be assertive rather than aggressive. You may know people who act aggressively at work or school. Here are some signs you’ve moved from assertiveness to aggressiveness. Aggressive people engage in these behaviors:

Bully
Exclude others
Gossip
Purposely ignore people
Can’t calm down
Hit
Yell
Threaten

10 Ways to Stand Up For Yourself (And How to Know When You Should)

When you stand up for yourself and find you’re getting aggressive, be sure to reach out for help. It could show you are suffering from psychological issues from some past trauma.

1 – Be clear about what you want

People aren’t mind-readers. It would help if you said what you need or want. Speaking up for yourself means you use your voice so others can understand you. Say precisely what you want, don’t dance around the issue. Use “I” statements instead of “You” words because they sound aggressive. Examples of “I” statements include:

I think
I feel
I’d like
I prefer
I would prefer

It may take some getting used to, but as you learn to express yourself clearly and honestly, you find people respond to you better. They know you’re an honest, authentic person. They also know you won’t let them take advantage of you.

2 – Stand up for yourself by correcting someone when needed

If you need to bring up a matter with someone, arrange a time to talk to them privately. This allows you to prepare what you want to say. You can respectfully package your message rather than blurting out what you want to say on the spur of the moment. It’s uncomfortable to correct people, but it’s often necessary. Here are some suggestions for speaking up and fixing others when needed.

Honestly, point out something they’re doing well.
Take an indirect approach using the word “and” to start the conversation about a criticism.
Share your own mistakes in this area, but don’t turn the conversation on to you. It’s about what they did. You don’t need to apologize for correcting them. Admitting your own mistakes emphasizes you know you’re not perfect.
Ask them questions. Direct the questions, so they admit their own mistakes. This is always better than you giving them a direct order, which may come across as aggressive.
Be aware of their feelings. Let them save face in this situation by showing them you value them. Make sure they don’t feel punished, but you advise them on changing their behavior.
When you see improvement, be sure to praise them. Even a slight movement towards what you advised is significant.

3 – Avoid being self-righteous

If you’re in a situation where you don’t speak up, you may end up sitting on your feelings. Think of a situation where someone doesn’t keep their end of a bargain, so you jump in and do it. All the while, you’re making sarcastic remarks about how you knew they wouldn’t do it. This passive-aggressive attitude never works. Even though you’re right, it’s self-righteous to use sarcasm to belittle the person. There’s a good chance you’ve done something similar in your life. Try to be deliberate and tell the person how you feel about what happened. Don’t accuse, but share honestly.

4 – Say no

Sometimes you need to stand up for your time by saying “no.” It’s easy to get pulled into commitments. If you say yes a lot, you’ll get a reputation as the person who will do everything. You’re always expected to bring the snacks for your kid’s class when the teacher doesn’t ask other parents. This request is a sure sign you need to speak up for your time. The next time they ask for something, you can say one of these:

Let me think about it and get back to you.
I need to check my calendar. Then I’ll let you know
No, I’m busy that day.
Sorry, but I have too much going on then.

Don’t apologize for saying no or feel obligated. Contribute where you need to, but otherwise, say no when you need to.

5 – Practice confident words before it’s time to stand up for yourself

Researchers say that being confident takes preparation. Standing up for yourself takes practice. You won’t learn to be a strong person overnight. Over time, you’ll grow in self-confidence and assertiveness. Even when you’re not confident, it’s okay to pretend. Practice certain situations at home in front of your mirror to gain more confidence. Work on being relaxed and comfortable speaking up for yourself. Don’t focus on your feelings, but think about what you need to say.

6 – Body language

Pay attention to your body language when you’re standing up for yourself. Practice doing these things

Lean forward: When you’re talking to people, lean in and focus on them.
Don’t slouch: Stand tall in a relaxed way.
Be relaxed and attentive: Don’t look bored or as if you’re ready to walk away. Stop and give the person your full attention.
Put your hands in your pocket: This conveys that you’re relaxed and confident.
Smile normally: Don’t smile too big but in a friendly way.

7 – Learn when to speak up

As assertiveness grows, you’ll learn to pick your battles with people. Sometimes it’s not worth it to stand up for yourself. Someone may say something, but you realize it was a rare moment and not worth mentioning. Part of learning how to stand up for yourself is knowing when to speak up and be quiet. This discernment means you learn how to read people and understand how to handle different situations.

8 – Don’t apologize when you must stand up for yourself

If you need to ask your roommate to help you clean up the house, speak straightforwardly, saying something like,

I need help cleaning up the house, but I can’t do it alone. Would you please clean the living room while I clean the kitchen?

Don’t apologize. Be clear and specific. Stand up for yourself respectfully but firmly. Of course, there’s no guarantee your roommate will agree. If this is the case, you may need to consider getting a new roommate who will share the responsibilities of the apartment.

9 – Set boundaries

Setting boundaries helps you stand up for yourself and helps others understand how to treat you. Boundaries display self-respect. This could mean asking your boss to please ask you before putting extra work on your desk. Or it could mean telling your co-worker you don’t like the nickname they call you. Be respectful and relaxed but firm. Standing up for yourself doesn’t need to be a dramatic event, but a simple,

Hey, you’re a funny person, but I’m not too fond of that nickname. Please don’t call me that anymore.

This simple but clear message will help your co-worker know how to treat you. Your boss will realize they should communicate with you before putting extra work on your desk. Once you set boundaries, if people continue to do these things, you may need to speak up for yourself again to reiterate your expectations.

10 – You can stand up for yourself by walking away

When you speak up for yourself, not everyone will like it. There will be people who get angry and attack you. They may try to manipulate you or push you to do something you refuse. They may guilt you or even bully you. Please don’t get upset by them. Stay calm and don’t react to their anger. Please don’t give in to their bullying, but stand your ground. If they’re pressing you, say something like,

You know, I will not change my mind on this. Let’s end this conversation.

If the person continues, walk away. Collect your thoughts and schedule a meeting with them. Invite another person to join you, so you’re not alone with the person who attacked you.

Final thoughts on knowing how and when to stand up for yourself

Standing up for yourself takes practice, but you can learn to speak up respectfully but firmly to people. Expressing what you need clearly and humbly helps people better understand you. Learning to say no instead of accepting everything you’re asked to do is another simple way to stand up for yourself. Each of these simple practices will help you learn how to help yourself and how to help the people around you.

20 Small Habits to Help You Reach Big Goals

October 10, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Why is it that old habits die hard? Inevitably, people resist change, even if they establish big goals for themselves. Try getting up at 5 am after your body has become accustomed to an 8 am wakeup, and you will find It would be easier to wake a sleeping bear from hibernation.

You’re a creature of habit, and adopting a new routine can be exhausting. Thankfully, you have the power within yourself to make such changes, but you must be willing to put in a little work. The issue is that many people become so overwhelmed by the big picture that they don’t see that it all starts with a tiny step.

Twenty Small Habits That Can Help You Make Big Changes

There is a compounding effect that small habits can make on your big goals. Since society has programmed your mind to have instant gratification, hacks, and quick fixes, it will take some real work. However, if society had an accurate view of things, everyone would be physically fit, wealthy, and happy.

The bad habits you’ve learned might not influence you right now, but they can significantly impact your future. Think of it this way; that double cheeseburger and French fries taste way better than a salad for dinner, but the long-term rewards outweigh the instant pleasure. Here are some small habits that can help you reach your big goals.

1. Say Daily Affirmations to Motivate You to Reach Those Big Goals

Any goals you set for yourself will be met with negativity and plenty of resistance. However, you can start your day by quoting daily affirmations. The National Library of Medicine published a study where affirmations were used to help folks stop smoking.

After a six-week trial, 97.5 percent of those who regularly did their daily affirmations had stopped smoking. It proves that you can rewire your brain with a bit of work and some determination.

2. Keep Your Environment Clean

Being productive and living or working in a chaotic environment is impossible. Not only is the chaos distracting, but it can also be very stressful to navigate. Remember the old motto that everything has a place and should be in its place.

Take a few minutes to clean up each day, and you will see it significantly impacts your productivity.

3. Track Your Costs

Do you throw caution to the wind and spend frivolously? If your goals have financial backing, you must be accountable for every penny. Writing down how much you spend and what you’re spending it on can help you in all areas of life.

Thankfully, many computer applications will do this for you, which makes the job much easier.

4. Take the Farthest Parking Spot (You can’t reach those big goals in poor health!)

If your goal is to lose weight, you’re not going to lose an ounce until you change your habits. Weight loss is one of the big goals, but parking in the furthest parking spots will get you moving more. Incorporating simple stuff like this can have a significant impact.

5. Plan Your Days

It’s hard to know what will happen daily, but you must schedule the allotted time to achieve your goals. Scheduling helps you prioritize things and make sure you’re making progress.

6. Go Outside to Boost Your Mood and Reflect on the Big Goals

It would help if you had the power of the sunshine to help boost your mood. The sun also provides an ample dose of Vitamin D, which your body needs. Don’t stay cooped up behind four walls all day. You can enhance your overall outlook by spending time in nature.

7. Create a Bedtime Routine

How do you expect to be productive the next day if you’re not getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night? Your body needs sleep to repair damage caused by free radicals during the day. Make sleep a top priority to reach any goals you’ve set.

8. Unsubscribe to Junk Emails

If you’re like most people, your inbox is overloaded with junk mail. It can be very daunting to wake up to hundreds of emails that have no importance. Take a few minutes and go through and block all the spam, as it will make you feel much better with fewer emails to filter.

9. Complete Your Hardest Task First

Most people procrastinate and leave the most challenging things for last. However, getting the most daunting tasks off your plate first gives you momentum to easily conquer the rest of the day.

10. Downsize Big Goals Into Smaller Bits

Remember English class when you were given a huge book to read? If you looked at the 1,000 pages, it might be terrifying to attempt this feat. However, if you divide the pages by the thirty-day goal, you only need to read 33 pages a day.

Stop looking at the big picture and becoming so overwhelmed by it that you’re frozen. Break it down into smaller, even daily bits, and you can accomplish any big goals you set for yourself.

11. Outsource Whenever Possible

Look at the successful men and women running significant corporations daily. These are busy people, and do you think they do everything themselves? Of course not! These folks have learned how to delegate to others.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed; remember that you can’t do everything yourself. If you want to reach your goals, you need a strong team behind you, helping you do the work and rooting for you.

12. Meditate Each Day

Meditation helps you to alleviate stress as well as improve your overall focus. It’s also shown to reduce tension in the body that can significantly impact your health.

Did you know that meditation can also help fight memory loss at an older age? According to studies conducted by UC Davis Health, meditation is the key to keeping dementia at bay.

13. Reward Yourself for Small Milestones Along the Path to the Big Goals

If you want to reach the big things, then you must learn to celebrate the small victories. Taking a moment to recognize your efforts will give you the momentum you need to keep going. Many people don’t follow through with goals because they burn out, they have too many to focus on just one, or they doubt their abilities.

15. Sit up Straight

It sounds silly to say that you need to sit straight to reach your goals, but is that ridiculous? Your posture has a significant bearing on your overall wellness. You reduce muscle pain from overuse disorders and improve your drive by improving your posture.

How much better do you feel when you’re sitting up nice and tall rather than slouching and feeling miserable?

16. Return Any Missed Calls and Texts

Proper communication is vital when you’re working on goals. It’s respectful to the party who contacted you to respond and shows good business skills. Even when you don’t have a moment to spare, take the time to reach out to people who need to reach you.

17. Get Rid of Something

Remember what was said above about a clean space? Well, try donating or getting rid of something each day. It can be a small item, but you will feel great pairing down and decluttering your world.

Plus, taking inventory of what you have and getting rid of things will help you think twice before making purchases you don’t need.

18. Practice Active Listening

Active listening is hard, especially when trying to do many things simultaneously. Have you ever talked to your spouse, and they appeared to be listening, but they didn’t know what you were saying to them? This happens when people zone out and aren’t actively listening to what you’re saying.

In all conversations, put down the phone, turn off the music, and genuinely listen to the other person. It’s essential in the business world as well as your personal one.

19. Do Random Acts of Kindness

Spreading joy never hurt anyone? Plus, you feel better when you’re giving back and helping others. To reach big goals, you need to start by reducing the negativity in the world to allow positivity to flow through.

20. Dress for Success, as if You Already Reached Your Big Goals

Who knew your clothes could significantly impact your success? Don’t dress for the position you want; rather, you should dress for the position you desire. When folks perceive you as management material, it can help you achieve these goals. Dressing for success will also help improve your self-confidence too.

Final Thoughts on Small Habits Helping You To Reach Big Goals

Your life reflects the choices you have made. If you want to alter something, then you must start with your everyday decisions. To reach your big goals, alter your choices, stop making excuses, and replicating small mistakes.

By incorporating some of these habits listed above, you can make your future brighter than you ever imagined.

8 Great Ways to Start a Conversation

October 10, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Meeting new people can be intimidating, especially when no one’s there to introduce you. Finding the right words to start a conversation on the right foot is pretty tough. And trying to hold a meaningful or at least exciting conversation after that is even harder!

The key to initiating and maintaining a conversation is a strong beginning from which others can build. Of course, that’s easier said than done. Sometimes you’re just standing there, mind reeling and blank, desperately trying to come up with something! If you tend to be nervous in social situations

There’s no shame in memorizing a few openers that can lead to excellent conversation. Many people have go-to lines that they’ve found work best for them. A good opening subject will allow people to share their thoughts openly, possibly leading to deeper topics.

There are plenty of reasons you might need a good discussion opener. Maybe you’re trying to make new friends, fit in better at a social group, or get acclimated to a new work environment. Perhaps you’re even trying to start a conversation with strangers or engage more with those around you daily. Maybe you spend a lot of time meeting new people and want to network with them well. No matter the reason, here are eight great ways to start a conversation.

1. Start A Conversation By Talking About The Weather

Are you rolling your eyes at this suggestion? You shouldn’t be! There’s a reason this is one of the most common openers. It’s one of the most trusted great ways to start a conversation.

Sure, it sounds a little shallow and is a small talk opener. But studies have shown that people prefer innocuous openings when strangers have conversations with them. This is especially true for people approaching with romantic intentions, but it applies to everyone.

Small talk subjects aren’t deep, but they’re safe. They’re an innocent, simple, quickly relatable way to initiate conversation in a non-threatening way. Going the safe route can sometimes be a good option when trying to start talking to a stranger! Add extra detail for the other person to latch onto to make things more interesting.

For example, you can say:

“I love this cloudy weather we’re having. It makes gardening much more comfortable!”
“It’s a hot day. Do you know where I can get some water?”
“It seems quite gloomy today, but I’ve heard forecasts say it’ll be much brighter tomorrow.”

2. Ask For Assistance to Start A Conversation

Asking questions is always an excellent way to start a conversation. Combine that with asking someone for help, and you’ve got a real winner! People love to be helpful, and your request will allow them to engage with you more closely. It’ll also likely lead to other discussions. You can ask questions like:

“Do you know what time the bus gets here?”
“Have you seen a keychain around here? I seem to have lost mine!”
“Would you happen to know if there will be refreshments served after this?”
“Could I please borrow your pen for a minute?”

The trick is to ask for something relatively simple. You don’t want to ask for complicated assistance that will take too much effort. This ensures the person will be able to provide that aid and still continue the conversation.

Interestingly, a mutual social understanding comes from accepting help from someone. They’ve given you support, and now you thank them and take the first step in introducing yourself. This will provide you with the chance to ask additional opening questions naturally. That’s why this is one of the best great ways to start a conversation!

3. Ask Someone To Tell You About Themselves To Break The Ice

It’s OK to have a little small talk now and then. But you should go deeper than that for great ways to start a conversation. Studies show that people are happier when they get to have more meaningful and personal conversations.

The simple phrase “tell me about yourself” is an excellent, open-ended start to an amazing conversation. It also gives the other person additional comfort, letting them determine what they share. Conversation can flow and evolve naturally from here.

4. Give A Compliment To Start A Good Conversation

Compliments are great ways to start a conversation. A sincere word of praise can go a long way. It can make people open up to talking to you. Sure, you’re buttering them up, but who doesn’t like feeling nice about themselves? Please mention that you were impressed by their performance or the capability they showcased to break the ice.

It’s worth noting that compliments can be a little bit tricky. You don’t want to come across as unintentionally flirtatious, for example. As such, avoid compliments that are based on someone’s physical appearance. These can make people uncomfortable. Alternatively, if you offer an appearance-based bit of praise, you can mention your partner to clarify your proper intent.

5. Comment On Something Positively To Start A Conversation

Most great ways to start a conversation involve the use of positivity. That’s because positivity begets more of itself! For example, you can say:

“This food is delicious, don’t you think?”
“I love this weather that we’re having!”
“Your performance was amazing. I’d love to hear how you prepared!”
“Did you go to that workshop? It was great!”

When you start a conversation based on something positive, you present yourself as pleasant. People will want to talk to you because you radiate friendly energy. You’ll encourage them to join in and feel much more at ease. You’ll increase your chances of a pleasant, long conversation.

Sometimes, making complaints or saying something negative can work as a conversation starter. That’s especially true in difficult situations that you’re sharing with someone. But opt for positivity over negativity if you want to ensure a healthy, happy discussion.

6. Say Something Funny For A Lighter Discussion

One of the great ways to start a conversation is through humor! Experts have pointed out how humor lightens the atmosphere, relieves tension, and helps stress levels.

If you can use humor to start a conversation, you’ll ease some of the existing awkwardness. Laughter makes people comfortable, and that’s always promising when initiating discussion. On top of that, you’ll get to show your fun side! You can do this in the following ways:

· Tell A Joke

Whether it’s an extended joke you’ve memorized or a simple one-liner, jokes are the go-to way to be funny. Try to steer clear of more risque or “dark humor” jokes about sensitive topics! Most people aren’t comfortable hearing those kinds of jokes from total strangers.

· Tell A Funny Story

A funny story allows you to talk about something more personal than general small talk. You’d be surprised how much people can connect over stories! Just try and keep the story relatively short so you can allow the other person to tell their own story, too. It’s a beautiful way to bond.

· Make Light Of A Shared Situation

If you’re in a weird situation with strangers, you can initiate a conversation by making a joke about that shared event. Shared concerns tend to bring people naturally closer together, breaking down typical barriers. Use that to your advantage, and good humor will do the rest!

7. Ask For An Opinion

Asking someone for an opinion indicates that you value and respect what they say. Lots of people enjoy feeling that their thoughts matter! It allows you to connect with them with a foundation of mutual respect.

Opting for relevant topics when asking for opinions is a good idea. Sudden, out-of-the-blue questions can be jarring, and you don’t know if that person knows much about random topics! Stick to things that are relatable and workable. Here are some examples of things you can say.

“How do you like the food at that new cafe?”
“Is that (brand) lotion? Does it work well?”
“I was thinking of going to that class! How did you find it?”
“What did you think of that movie?”
“Which of these books do you most recommend?”

It’s also a good idea to continually ask a discussion partner for their opinion after you state yours. This keeps the conversation flowing and can create some great moments and insights.

8. Mention A Shared Experience To Start A Conversation

One of the quickest great ways to start a conversation is by bringing up something that already links you. A shared experience can give you a lot to talk about all at once and create a connection off of something solid. It gives you a common ground to build from.

Try to use the current situation to determine some easy-to-spot common ground. That will further help the flow of a conversation. Examples of topics that might be relevant are:

The place where you grew up
School you attended
The place where you work
Mutual acquaintance
Hobbies or interests

Final Thoughts On Some Great Ways To Start A Conversation

Conversations are the building block for facilitating bonds, creating connections, and building relationships. It can be a little nerve-wracking to try and initiate these dialogues, but the payoff tends to be pretty rewarding. Better yet, it’s not as hard to do as many make it out to be!

It’s incredible how much can blossom from an innocuous and positively phrased statement. Something as simple as commenting on the weather or requesting help can lead to so much more. Knowing some great ways to start a conversation will ensure that you can hold your own in any social environment.

Still nervous about initiating conversation? Studies have indicated that people like you more than you think. Most people worry about what their conversation partner thinks of them more than they make their judgments. This interesting phenomenon is called the “liking gap,” which applies to virtually every situation.

Don’t fret too much about what someone thinks of you! Most of those you meet will be happy to start a conversation. Many of them are trying to find a way to do that, too. They might be as anxious as you about it! You bridge gaps and make new acquaintances by taking the first step with a good conversation starter. Try it out and see for yourself!

Unique Artist Creates Works of Art From Hand-Lettered Quotes

October 10, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Macarena Chomik, a hand-lettering artist and illustrator from Argentina, creates unique works of art using hand-lettered quotes. She incorporates positive, motivational quotes and adorable floral backgrounds into her artwork. Here’s her story about how she got started and what inspires her beautiful creations.

“I began my creative journey about four and a half years ago when, by chance, I stumbled across this article that said: ‘Learn calligraphy in five simple steps.’ Well, let’s just say I followed the steps, I loved the result, and a couple months later, I created my Instagram account due to a friend’s suggestion, and well, here I am,” Macarena says.

She now has over 40k followers on Instagram and even sells art prints, stickers, and calendars on Etsy! Macarena also offers a digital planner featuring her hand-lettered quotes and floral printed artwork. While it’s nice to earn money doing what she loves, Macarena says it’s a creative outlet, more importantly.

“I now create art in order to relax. It is my hobby, and there’s nothing I love to do more. I have to admit though, that it’s not as relaxing when it turns into work, but it is still incredibly rewarding.”

Much of her artwork features nature themes, including flowers, animals, beaches, and outer space. For example, one of her pieces shows someone fishing on a boat in the ocean. Under the water, you see jellyfish, turtles, coral, fish, and whales. The hand-lettered quote says: “Sometimes in the waves of change, we find our true destination.”

Another adorable work of art features an alien spaceship, astronaut, rocket, and planets. The quote in the middle says, “Shine like the stars.” Macarena also enjoys forest-themed hand-lettered quote pieces. She created a whimsical forest that reminds us of Alice in Wonderland. It’s complete with mushrooms lining a pathway through the forest, songbirds, trees, and a girl having a picnic with a rabbit. In fact, you can tell she puts a lot of hard work into these masterpieces!

How she creates the works of art from hand-lettered quotes

First, like any artist, she sketches a general idea of what she wants the end product to look like. After having the background, hand-lettered quote, and the other details in mind, she creates the final piece. Then using watercolors, colored pencils, chalk markers, brush pens, and other supplies in her arsenal, she colors in the picture with vivid detail.

Finally, she adds shading, shadowing, and color to the quote to make it stand out. Some of her calligraphy is 3D, making it look like it pops right off the page! Macarena also uses an app called Procreate to design digital illustrations. She’s currently in school for graphic design to take her hobby to the next level.

She’s genuinely talented and pays excellent attention to detail with her artwork. You can see her progression over the years on her social media; it’s incredible how far she’s come! It just proves that following your passion can take you to places you never imagined. For an 18-year-old, she’s accomplished quite a lot in life so far.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Macarena Chomik (@mletteringlover)

Recently, she partnered with a wallpaper company to help with a design! She had this to say about the project:

“Working on this project was definitely challenging but also kind of a dream come true! Never before had I designed something of such dimensions, and to be able to see these designs come to life and actually be part of someone’s room is just unbelievable! Thank you Loomwell for giving me this opportunity!”

We’re excited to see where her dreams take her next! If you’d like to learn how to create your own art with hand-lettered quotes, she teaches a course on Skillshare. The online learning platform offers thousands of courses to learn everything from graphic design to photography to animation and more.

Macarena combines art with positivity to make the world a better place

Many artists draw inspiration from our natural world, including Macarena. She captures the beauty of nature on her sketchpad, creating stunning, original masterpieces teeming with life. Flowers seem to inspire her works of art the most.

“I find inspiration in nature and its diversity and uniqueness. I just love going through encyclopedias looking at all the different types of flowers. I mean, it’s crazy to think how there are endless types, many probably yet to be discovered,” Macarena says.

“I strive to combine these flowers with optimistic messages, to spread positivity. I believe that kindness is never wasted, and if I manage to brighten somebody else’s day, then my job is done.”

Creating a more positive world begins with each one of us, and Macarena contributes through art. Looking at positive messages can give strength and empowerment to someone going through a difficult time. The colorful, nature-filled background also adds to the cheery vibe, reminding anyone struggling of the simple beauty in life.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Macarena Chomik (@mletteringlover)

“For anyone who wants to start creating art, my advice would be to never give up. Practice makes perfect, so just keep going!” Macarena says. “Opportunities are out there waiting for you to grab them, so I know it sounds cliché, but do what you love; just do it. Just start and don’t think about it too much; you won’t regret it.”

Final thoughts on these unique works of art created from hand-lettered quotes.

We hope you enjoyed learning about how Macarena takes motivational quotes and turns them into works of art. So it is inspiring to see someone transform their hobby into a job that they’re passionate about! The artwork she creates spices up the hand-lettered quotes and makes a whimsical little world out of them. The quotes are the centerpiece, and the background pulls it all together.

Indeed, her artwork gives people hope and reminds them that they can create their own positivity in life. The pieces look beautiful as prints to hang on your wall or as stickers to place around your home.

Which of the pieces did you like best? Let us know in the comments!

Researchers Prove How Fatty Fish Oils Can Reduce Migraines

October 10, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

A new study reveals that a diet high in fatty fish oils can help ease migraine pain. Frequent migraine sufferers on the fish diet had fewer, less intense migraines than participants eating a diet high in vegetable fats.

Researchers from the National Institute on Aging (NIA) and the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) participated in the study. Parts of the National Institutes of Health and the University of North Carolina (UNC) at Chapel Hill also attended. The findings have been published in the July 3, 2021, issue of The BMJ.

The research was built upon the team’s prior studies on how linoleic acid impacted chronic pain. Linoleic acid, a polyunsaturated fatty acid, is found in corn, soybean, and similar oils, nuts, and seeds. The team’s previous research investigated if linoleic acid exacerbated migraine pain processing tissues and pathways in the trigeminal nerve. This is the largest, most intricate of the body’s twelve cranial nerves. This research discovered that a diet low in linoleic acid but high in omega-3 fatty acids (found in fish) could reduce migraine pain.

The study proving how fatty fish oils can reduce migraines

This current study involved 182 adults who experienced frequent migraines. The participants underwent a 16-week dietary intervention following a specific diet plan. Researchers randomly assigned them to one of three healthy diets, including fish, veggies, hummus, salads, and breakfast foods.

They received meal kits that followed these guidelines:

The first group received meals that had high levels of fatty fish oils and low linoleic acid.
A second group’s meals had high levels of fatty fish and higher linoleic acid.
The last group received meals high in linoleic acid but lower in fatty fish, which resembles the standard American diet.

During the study period, participants took note of their migraine frequency, duration and intensity. They also kept tabs on how their headaches impacted their work, school, and social lives. Finally, the volunteers observed how often they needed pain medications to manage symptoms.

At the beginning of the study, participants average over sixteen migraine days per month. They experienced over five hours of migraine pain per headache each day. They also had baseline scores revealing a significant impact on quality of life even while taking multiple pain medications.

The results: fatty fish oils cause a marked decrease in migraines

The researchers discovered that a diet lower in vegetable oil but higher in fatty fish oils produced the best results. Migraine sufferers had between 30-40% reductions in the following areas compared to the control group:

total headache hours per day
severe headache hours per day
overall headache days per month

Blood samples taken from the participants eating more fatty fish oils revealed lower levels of pain-related lipids. However, even though they had fewer, less intense migraines, they reported only minor improvements in quality of life. Still, the diet high in fatty fish oils produced better results than the high linoleic acid and fatty fish diet.

Migraines consistently rank among the most common causes of chronic pain, sick days from work, and reduced quality of life. It’s also one of the leading causes of disability worldwide. Over four million people worldwide suffer from chronic migraines at least fifteen days per month. Over 90% of sufferers can’t work or function normally during an attack, lasting from four hours to three days.

Women between the ages of 18 and 44 have a heightened risk of migraines. Around 18% of all American women suffer from migraines. Migraine medications can reduce pain but usually don’t eliminate symptoms. They also have adverse side effects such as sedation, dependence, or addiction.

Nature is the best medicine.

“This research found intriguing evidence that dietary changes have the potential for improving a very debilitating chronic pain condition like a migraine without the related downsides of often prescribed medications,” said Luigi Ferrucci, M.D., Ph.D., scientific director of NIA.

Chris Ramsden, a clinical investigator in the NIA and NIAAA intramural research programs, led the NIH team. Ramsden and his team study how lipids impact aging, especially chronic pain, and neurodegenerative conditions. Fatty acid compounds found in various natural oils, lipids help support many vital functions in the body.

Lipid mediators known as oxylipins help regulate pain and inflammation. Omega-3 and -6 fatty acids act as precursors to oxylipins but produce opposite effects. Omega-3 fatty acids found in fatty fish oils, for example, help reduce pain. However, Omega-6 fatty acids exacerbate pain and inflammation.

“Changes in diet could offer some relief for the millions of Americans who suffer from migraine pain,” said Ramsden. “It’s further evidence that the foods we eat can influence pain pathways.”

The researchers said the study shows promise for people who suffer from frequent migraines. Researchers say that following a diet high in fatty fish oils but low in linoleic acid may prevent migraines better than fish oil supplements. Plus, these dietary changes reduce the need for pain medication. The team hopes to expand upon the research in the future, studying how diet can impact other chronic conditions.

Final thoughts on the study showing how fatty fish oils can reduce migraines

Omega-3 fatty acids in foods like fatty fish oils have many health benefits. Better cognitive function, increased energy, lower cholesterol, and reduced risk of depression and anxiety have all been linked to Omega-3s. However, a new study reveals that fatty acids may reduce migraine frequency and severity.

The study found that people eating a diet high in fatty fish oils and low in linoleic acid had 30-40% fewer migraines per month. Their migraines also decreased, and they didn’t need medication as often. Researchers say that the research provides proof that dietary changes can bring relief for migraine sufferers. Hopefully, they will discover how a diet high in fatty fish oils can improve other health conditions in the future.

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10 Ways to Set Proactive Boundaries Before Someone Hurts You

What are the Five Types of Boundaries?

1. Physical

2. Intimacy

3. Emotional

4. Intellectual

5. Financial

10 Ways to Be Proactive with Your Boundaries

1. Set Your Boundaries Early in the Relationship

2. Begin with Smaller Ones

3. Reflect on How Your Boundaries Benefit You

4. Be Consistent

5. Don’t Allow Social Media to Blur Them

6. Be Comfortable with Saying “No” While Setting Boundaries

7. Gain a Healthy Perspective

8. Maintain Open Communication

9. Add to Your Basic List as Needed

10. Respect Other People’s Boundaries

Final Thoughts on Being Proactive with Your Boundaries

10 Ways to Stand Up For Yourself (And How to Know When You Should)

1 – Be clear about what you want

2 – Stand up for yourself by correcting someone when needed

3 – Avoid being self-righteous

4 – Say no

5 – Practice confident words before it’s time to stand up for yourself

6 – Body language

7 – Learn when to speak up

8 – Don’t apologize when you must stand up for yourself

9 – Set boundaries

10 – You can stand up for yourself by walking away

Final thoughts on knowing how and when to stand up for yourself

Twenty Small Habits That Can Help You Make Big Changes

1. Say Daily Affirmations to Motivate You to Reach Those Big Goals

2. Keep Your Environment Clean

3. Track Your Costs

4. Take the Farthest Parking Spot (You can’t reach those big goals in poor health!)

5. Plan Your Days

6. Go Outside to Boost Your Mood and Reflect on the Big Goals

7. Create a Bedtime Routine

8. Unsubscribe to Junk Emails

9. Complete Your Hardest Task First

10. Downsize Big Goals Into Smaller Bits

11. Outsource Whenever Possible

12. Meditate Each Day

13. Reward Yourself for Small Milestones Along the Path to the Big Goals

15. Sit up Straight

16. Return Any Missed Calls and Texts

17. Get Rid of Something

18. Practice Active Listening

19. Do Random Acts of Kindness

20. Dress for Success, as if You Already Reached Your Big Goals

Final Thoughts on Small Habits Helping You To Reach Big Goals

1. Start A Conversation By Talking About The Weather

2. Ask For Assistance to Start A Conversation

3. Ask Someone To Tell You About Themselves To Break The Ice

4. Give A Compliment To Start A Good Conversation

5. Comment On Something Positively To Start A Conversation

6. Say Something Funny For A Lighter Discussion

· Tell A Joke

· Tell A Funny Story

· Make Light Of A Shared Situation

7. Ask For An Opinion

8. Mention A Shared Experience To Start A Conversation

Final Thoughts On Some Great Ways To Start A Conversation

“I now create art in order to relax. It is my hobby, and there’s nothing I love to do more. I have to admit though, that it’s not as relaxing when it turns into work, but it is still incredibly rewarding.”

How she creates the works of art from hand-lettered quotes

Macarena combines art with positivity to make the world a better place

Final thoughts on these unique works of art created from hand-lettered quotes.

The study proving how fatty fish oils can reduce migraines

They received meal kits that followed these guidelines:

The results: fatty fish oils cause a marked decrease in migraines

Nature is the best medicine.

Final thoughts on the study showing how fatty fish oils can reduce migraines

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