3 Ways Relationships Can Affect Your Resilience

October 7, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Have you ever noticed that those entering relationships can become weaker? As it turns out, this isn’t an unusual phenomenon at all. Close romantic relationships can cause people to lose some of their resilience!

Resilience is the trait of emotional strength. More specifically, it’s a quality that lets you handle problems and bounce back from adverse situations. It’s a trait you shouldn’t lose – and especially not in a relationship! Here are three ways relationships can affect your resilience and ways to prevent it with three tips!

Three Ways Relationships Can Affect Your Resilience

Negative relationships can harm you in ways that perhaps you didn’t consider.

1. Uneven Dependency

Relationships require some form of equality. While a perfectly even, calculative split isn’t strictly necessary, parties must put in similar levels of effort and care to achieve a happy relationship. But when that doesn’t happen, you find yourself in a situation where the dependency levels of each partner are uneven. This neediness can harm your resilience as much as it damages the relationship. Here are some ways that this happens:

· Too Much Responsibility

You and your partner are grown adults. While you can and should be able to rely on each other in difficult times, there must be equality. If you become overly responsible for your partner, they can neglect themselves and their behavior while you scramble to care for them, make excuses, and explain things on their behalf. The more you try to “save” a partner, the worse your resilience will get as you tire yourself out and your partner gets all the attention.

· One-Sided Relationships

In a one-sided relationship, you may feel like you do all the work, provide all the support and validation, and need to walk on eggshells and apologize a lot to your partner. On the flip side, they never seem to have to do that and are avoidant, disengaging from any requests for support and never putting in much effort for the relationship’s sake. Being in a notably one-sided relationship can make you tired, emotionally fraught, stressed out, and insecure, which, naturally, weakens your resilience levels.

· Financial Dependency

There is nothing wrong with being a single-income partnership. One person becomes the financial provider of a relationship and provides in other ways, such as caring for the house or your children. But economic dependency can work against you because, unfortunately, money makes the world go round! Feeling trapped or controlled due to your lack of personal funds – even when your partner doesn’t intend to make you feel that way – can significantly damage your positive thinking and resilience.

2. Expressive Suppression

It takes equal effort, communication, honesty, and trust from all parties involved to promote relationship satisfaction in all relationships. If you fail to communicate what you think and feel, you’re exhibiting a quality known as expressive suppression. It is common among those who:

Struggle with emotional openness and tend to be closed off
Are afraid of “burdening” their partner with complex or difficult topics and feelings
Feel the need to hide certain emotions, desires, and thoughts from their partner

Expressive suppression can often be a defense mechanism, and the person performing that trait often believes that their suppression benefits the relationship. Unfortunately, the inverse tends to be accurate, and the quality and satisfaction in the partnership can deteriorate as a result. In addition, expressive suppression can very commonly affect and harm resilience levels, decreasing positive thinking to a breaking point. Here’s how this happens:

· Suppressing Emotions Makes Them Worse

When you suppress your emotions, especially those related to your relationship, you have to handle the mental strain of keeping them to yourself and controlling them when you want to spill them. The more you do this, the stronger those emotions can build up. A study published in the International Journal of Psychotherapy Practice and Research indicates that emotional repression can negatively affect your health and well-being from both a physical and mental standpoint – and it makes the initial feeling much worse. It’s easy to see how that damages your resilience!

· Your Needs Can’t Be Met

If you suppress the expression of your feelings, thoughts, and desires, your partner can’t meet your needs or seek a compromise with you, so you are fulfilled. Your partner can’t read your mind, after all. While they ponder over what’s wrong, your emotions will grow, and your needs will become progressively more urgent, and they can’t and won’t be met! This can fray your nerves, increase stress levels, and make you more prone to adverse reactions as your resilience decreases.

· Problems Can’t Be Solved

Resilience refers to the ability to bounce back from adverse events, solve problems, and manage obstacles. In a relationship, all involved partners need to communicate to tackle complex issues. If you don’t share and instead suppress your emotions, you’ll be unable to tackle stressful situations well and can become very negatively affected by them.

3. Defining Yourself By A Relationship

A relationship is a huge part of someone’s life, especially if it’s a serious one or one that involves bringing your life together, sharing a house, or raising children. But to become defined by your relationship is to harm your resilience. Here’s how this happens:

· Losing Individuality

Sometimes, people forget they need to be independent individuals outside their relationships. This is especially true in long-lasting relationships when you’ve been together for a long time. It’s easy to become so used to being a couple that you forget to be your own person, too. You can become so accustomed to your partner’s presence that you cannot function well without them, so your resilience is harmed.

· Feeling “Completed” By A Partner

Popular culture and media both romanticize the concept of finding your “missing piece” or your “better half.”

While the sentiment is sweet and can be harmless and cute if not taken too seriously, the concept at its core can be damaging. Feeling completed by a partner means you would feel empty without them. Of course, it’s easy to see how your resilience may be damaged if you can’t be with your partner or the relationship ends for any reason.

· Lacking Boundaries

Boundaries are essential even in the most intimate relationships. But some people who define themselves by their partner may believe that limitations are “offensive” to each other. “Why should there be boundaries between us if we love each other this much?” is something you might say in this scenario. But boundaries are essential to mental health, personal wellbeing, and resilience. Without it, your stress levels will rise, and your positive thinking will drop.

· Staying When You Shouldn’t

A relationship that begins positively can turn ugly quickly. Sometimes, a partnership you thought was beautiful can blindside you with toxicity. Those who define themselves by their relationship may refuse to leave the unhealthy situation, even when it becomes clear that the problem cannot improve. The association is all they have, so they can’t find a way to detach themselves, and they wind up getting increasingly downtrodden every day.

How To Prevent Your Relationships From Affecting Your Resilience

Here are some ways to improve your relationships.

1. Communicate

Communication is a crucial, critical component of a relationship. Without it, a connection is doomed to fail. Open channels of positive communication between you and your partner for topics such as:

Needs and desires in the relationship
Problems and issues noticed in the relationship
Difficult emotions and thoughts
Fears and anxieties
Simple information regarding tasks and facts that each partner needs to know

Positive communication is important for getting messages across in an effective and workable way. Tips for positive communication include:

Using “I” language such as “I feel” and “I think” instead of “You” language like “You always” or “You did this” allows for a less accusatory and more compassion-led discussion.
Take the time to listen to your partner just as much as you talk and seek to understand them first instead of proving that you’re “in the right” in an argument.
Maintaining respect for your partner at all times by never using insults or bad faith arguments against them. So steer clear of any boundaries that your partner has set up, and use compassion and empathy in discussions.

2. Don’t Stop Being Yourself

A lot of a lack of resilience in a relationship comes from losing aspects of yourself to that partnership. If you keep on being the self that you were before the relationship – with room to grow and improve, of course – you’ll be able to maintain resilience, too. Here are some tips to continue being yourself:

· Carve Out Me-Time

Spend some time apart from your partner every so often, during which you can indulge in hobbies and activities that you want to do. It’s an excellent chance to stop doing only things that your partner likes, and it’s a crucial part of regular self-care! You and your partner should both make sure to have your own space and time, respecting each other in the process.

· Think Critically For Yourself

Many partners think it’s important to share common opinions and ideals with their significant other – and that’s a good thing! But don’t forget that it’s still okay to form your ideas. Respecting specific non-deal-breaking differences in perspective is vital for a healthy relationship and for maintaining your resilient backbone and thinking skills.

· Have Your Own Friends

Sharing all your friends with a partner can cause your lives to become a little too deeply intertwined. Having some mutual friends is excellent, but you do need your social circle or circle of support, too! A unique source of support will allow you to draw strength and resilience from the positive interactions you share with them. Besides, you won’t lose that support if anything happens to the relationship.

3. Love Yourself

When you love yourself, your insecurities and desire to define yourself by your partner melt away, you’ll feel more comfortable expressing your emotions, you won’t compare your relationship to other peoples’, and you won’t need constant validation from your partner.

This also means knowing when you deserve better. If a relationship becomes toxic and nothing has worked to help it improve. Instead, it may simply be time to leave that relationship behind. It can be a difficult decision at first, but knowing how to detach and progress in your life is vital to maintaining resilience.

This isn’t to say that you should always be ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble. Instead, it means knowing that if you are being treated poorly, you’ll be much better off without that adverse treatment and are strong enough to leave and heal.

Final Thoughts On Some Ways To Prevent Relationships From Affecting Your Resilience

Relationships should make you stronger, not weaker, and you should continue being brave and bold with or without your partner. Don’t let yourself fall into place where your resilience is harmed by the partnership you have formed!

3 Effective Ways To Stop Second-Guessing Yourself

October 7, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Do you ever feel doubt when making decisions? Have you ever felt that your choices are unsatisfactory no matter what you do? That’s probably because you are second-guessing yourself and have lost confidence in your actions.

What Are The Implications Of Second-Guessing Yourself?

For most people, the concept of second-guessing is familiar – it simply means criticizing specific actions after they have happened. Therefore, second-guessing yourself implies criticizing and doubting yourself, your abilities, strengths, and decisions.

It seems like a small obstacle in your decision-making process, but scientists would argue it is much deeper than that. According to a study, people who constantly doubt themselves are prone to a wide range of psychological problems, from mood swings and lower self-esteem to anxiety and even depression. This idea is backed up by research conducted at Berkley, which lists indecisiveness, proneness to rapidly changing opinions, and procrastination as additional issues self-doubters face.

But, if it has so many negative implications, why do people still second guess themselves? This outcome appears to happen mainly because of the innate insecurity that human beings experience when making decisions. This sort of insecurity stems from the inability to know if your decision was right or from the lack of confidence in your knowledge and skill set.

Joyce Ehrlinger, an expert in behavioral studies, calls second guessers “maximizers” and portrays them as always needing to be sure they have made the right choice, thus being less likely to commit to a decision entirely. They are the people who get nervous when they see a “final sales” sign because it forces them to commit. Due to the fear of failure and commitment, “maximizers” are less happy in their day-to-day life.

The 3 Main Ways To Stop Second-Guessing Yourself

So how can you stop doubting yourself in your day-to-day life?

1. Focus On Yourself Instead Of Others

Often in our daily lives, we tend to put everyone’s opinions front and center when deciding, and we forget about our wishes and needs. “Should I wear this shirt? What about these shoes?” These questions never leave our minds, even if we don’t consciously think about them. So how can we tackle this impasse?

· Trust Your Gut

You’ve probably heard this piece of advice so many times that, at this point, you’re over it. But allow me to share a different perspective.

The gut and the brain link to each other. This gut-brain connection allows emotional experience to be registered as gastrointestinal distress. Anxiety, fear, and other emotions might make you experience stomach spasms and nausea. That’s where the name “gut feeling” comes from. You physically feel emotions.

Research also proves that the brain makes unconscious observations at all times. It observes things about everything you come in contact with that you are not consciously aware of. If you’ve ever felt the sudden urge to cross the street and, right as you reach the other sidewalk, a brick falls off a building, that’s not a coincidence. Your brain saw something you didn’t consciously register, maybe some loose bricks, and told you to get to safety. These flashes of intuition connect to specific brain processes, such as decoding nonverbal cues.

So, confidently trust your gut the next time you are worried about that shirt you will wear. It will tell you if your gut instinct is correct or not based on the cues it registered in the past.

· Go Easy On Yourself

According to Dr. Kristin Neff, Associate Professor in the Department of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas, going easy on yourself or self-compassion is recognizing that individuals have humanity in common. That means self-compassion is contingent on accepting that all individuals are flawed and imperfect, all just as likely to be hit by misfortune.

She states that people are reluctant to be self-compassionate because they fear becoming self-indulgent. The misunderstanding that criticism is the way to boost motivation is detrimental to our well-being. Would you yell at a child struggling in school? No. Just like we wouldn’t criticize someone else in need of help, we shouldn’t criticize ourselves. Instead, she states that self-compassion is the most significant catalyst of motivation.

Congratulate yourself on your accomplishments. Treat yourself from time to time. Understand that you are only human and should be kind to yourself, just like you are to others.

· Embrace Risk-Taking

Risk-taking doesn’t have to mean scuba-diving with the sharks. It can mean anything, from cutting your hair in that style you always wanted to buy that expensive watch to more extreme activities if you feel up to it. It has to be a conscious decision to let go of inhibition and force yourself out of your comfort zone. Maybe ask a more adventurous friend to convince you to do something crazy.

Research shows that, under the conditions of risk-taking, the positive brain chemicals respond, promoting growth that develops the neural networks that form the basis of our physical and mental skills. Yes, risk-taking can make you smarter!

By taking risks, you can slowly let go of inhibitions, prove to yourself you are so much more capable than you thought, and you will gradually stop second-guessing yourself.

2. Prioritize Learning

People second guess themselves because they don’t trust their judgment and knowledge on specific topics. That is why to boost confidence. You need to be open to learning more.

· Assess New Information

In today’s context, knowing whether your information is accurate or just fake news is hard. To learn new things and be more confident in yourself, research suggests asking the following questions: When was the information posted? Is the information relevant to me/ current events? What is the source of my information/ What are the author’s credentials? Does evidence or research support the information? What is the purpose of this information?

It might seem like a vague suggestion: learn and be sure to do it informally. But the more you know, the more confident you will be in your decision-making abilities.

· Notice Bad Thoughts And Replace Them

Some people need introspection to stop doubting themselves. Daniel Siegel, M.D., Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA, proposes mindful meditation as a way to get your mind in a safe space for introspection. The benefits of this are reaching a spot where you can differentiate negative from positive thoughts without feeling guilty or being critical of yourself.

After reaching that safe space in your mind, studies suggest you take two simple steps: firstly, accept the negative feeling or thought, label/name it, and verbally express it and secondly, reframe the wrong thought into something positive.

For example, if you feel anxiety about a date, accept and verbalize it: “I am scared about this date.” Then, reframe it: “No matter the outcome, this date will be a new experience from which I can learn things about others, myself, and how relationships work.”

Introspection is the best way of learning about yourself, what you like, and what you need, thus boosting your confidence.

· Be Confident In Your Values

Your moral compass is the only sure thing when everything around you seems unstable. Your values, how you decide what’s ethical or not, that’s who you are inside.

To find your moral framework, you need to identify-consider-act-reflect: identify and introspect on what your principles are for all kinds of situations, assess if those principles bring harm or suitable to you and others, act on those principles, and reflect on whether the outcomes made you and others happy or not.

Values give you a better sense of self that can help boost your self-esteem and make you stop doubting yourself.

3. Embrace A Growth Mindset

To stop second-guessing yourself, remember you are human, and there’s always room to grow. Instead of blaming yourself for your flaws, focus on improving yourself daily.

· Be Comfortable With Mistakes

We are not robots. All of us make wrong decisions in our lives.

Studies show that to better deal with mistakes, you should try reframing them as results rather than failures. Mistakes are just experiences you can use later to better deal with the decisions you have to make and get closer to your desired outcomes.

Your value as a person is not contingent on your mistakes – you made a mistake, but you are not a mistake! Being comfortable with errors shows that you are willing to grow.

· Rewire Your Brain For Empathy

According to Jane Bolton, PsyD, people are born hardwired to feel emotions. Thus, receiving and giving empathy meets the human need for association and recognition, making you more confident in making decisions.

Research has shown that empathy influences self-esteem. You tend to feel more confident when you understand others and can maintain meaningful relationships.

Empathy not only helps others but also helps you grow and make better decisions.

· Ask For Help

Second-guessing yourself also comes from the fear that people will reject or help you when needed.

But evidence shows that those who have rejected us in the past are most likely to help because of empathy. Also, according to Social Psychologist Heidi Grant, people tend to like us more for asking for help.

So, when asking for help, we get the advice we need when we doubt ourselves, and we can make new connections and get people to like us.

Final Thoughts On How To Stop Second-Guessing Yourself

Life today is simply hectic; we always feel pressured to be perfect and act just the right way. Feeling a bit lost and second-guessing yourself is typical in this context. But remember these three things: focus on growth, never stop learning, and, most important, you matter, and you should always make sure your needs are fulfilled.

The more you learn about the world, the more you discover who you are, and the more you focus on bettering yourself, the easier it will be to stop doubting your decisions. And who knows, you might even get that car you always wanted without second-guessing your every move.

7 Self-imposed Limitations That Hold You Back in Life

October 7, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Is it possible that you’re hindering your own success by using unfair limitations? Do you often set limits on your accomplishments without even realizing it? When you tell yourself things like “I can’t do that,” or “I will never be able to figure this out,” you’re setting yourself up for failure.

With this negative mindset, you’re admitting defeat before you ever attempt anything. The sad part is that if you don’t watch what you say and how you live, your negative thought processes and actions can rub off your children and those around you.

Do you know how damaging using negative self-talk is to your psyche? Not only does cynical speech lower your self-confidence, but it can ruin your productivity. What would you say if you heard someone else declaring these negative things to themselves?

No doubt, you would correct them right away for the negative self-talk and offer encouragement. The limitations you put on yourself can suffocate, so you need to learn some life-saving hacks for releasing these self-imposed limits.

Seven Common Self-Imposed Limitations

Are you ready to turn over a new leaf? Today is a new day, and you can start it with the power of positivity. By trying some new thought processes and hacks, you can lift the chains that bind you to try. Here are some self-imposed limitations that most people can identify.

1. Seeking The Approval of Others

Do you think of yourself as a “people-pleaser?” Many people live their lives trying to make everyone else happy, but they often sidestep their own happiness to accomplish this task. Rising to the expectations of your friends and family is a dangerous trap, as you’re the one who gets hurt.

Sadly, it’s a dark and lonely road when you try to please everyone else. You have one life to live, and it should be done doing what makes you happy. Sure, some people will try to guilt you into doing certain things, but you are the boss of yourself.

2. Not Setting Appropriate Boundaries

Everyone makes mistakes as no one is perfect, but how you allow others to treat you is essential. You need to set boundaries on how you expect to be treated. If someone cannot follow your guidelines, then it’s time to move on.

When you tolerate certain behaviors, you’re allowing enabling them to mistreat you. Stop giving people free passes to treat you however they want. It’s time that you stand up for yourself and know your worth.

3. Allowing Negativity To Consume Your Mind

Your thoughts carry a lot of weight. What things you allow to consume your mind will rule your life. When you allow your mind to be consumed with negativity, you’re creating a mental war zone.

You must understand that fear is a liar, and anxiety is the great pretender. Every time you have a negative thought, do you need to evaluate it? Is the idea based on truth, or is it based on lies?

There’s no way you can control the choices of others, but you can be mindful of your life. Your mental well-being depends on purging negativity.

4. Saying “I Can’t.”

How many times did your parents tell you growing up that “Can’t, can’t do anything?” Well, what they were telling you was correct. If you say you can’t do something, then you won’t.

If you don’t believe enough in yourself to have the ability to do a task, then you won’t accomplish it. You’ve already lost the battle before you even begin. To fix this issue, you must change your mindset.

Have you ever seen a child that constantly says “I can’t” whenever their parent asks them to do something? Many times, it’s not that they can’t do what they’ve been asked; it’s that they don’t want to do it. By telling themselves that it’s impossible, then they feel released from trying.

Stop putting limitations on yourself by thinking you can’t do something. You will never know your talents until you try.

5. Having A Negative Inner-Circle

Would you rank your friends as optimistic or pessimistic? You’re known by the company you keep, and if your inner circle is negative, it can be detrimental to your mental health. Notice your attitude and feelings the next time you’re around someone who complains constantly.

It’s likely that they make you feel bad and want to complain about your life. Negativity is contagious, and you don’t need anything in your life to bring you down. However, the good news is that positivity is contagious too.

According To Strong Inside Out, some people need to fire their friends and get new ones. If you’re hanging around with people who zap your energy, encourage bad habits, and are often very judgmental, then it’s time to act. These negative people will choke the life right out of you, so you need to be with folks who bring out the best in you.

When you shop for raspberries, you want to select the healthiest ones possible. No one wants to pay good money for moldy berries. When you pick up a package that has a few rotting ones, you put it back down as it’s lackluster.

Why do you do this instinctively? First, you’re not going to pay good money for moldy berries. Second, it won’t be long before the mold contaminates the other fruit. Simply put, if you hang out with “moldy raspberries,” it won’t be long before the toxic nature rubs off on you too. Remember the saying, “One bad apple ruins the entire bunch?”

6. Afraid Of Leaving Your Comfort Zone

Everybody has a comfort zone. This is the place where you feel safe and content. However, if you never step beyond your comfort zone, then you will never know what’s out there.

The good news is that the bigger your comfort zone becomes, the more confidence you gain in your abilities. Take, for instance, John Lennon, the founder of the famous rock group The Beetles. A single mother raised Lennon, and he was often in trouble.

His report cards were full of comments stating that he would be a failure in life. According to Biography Online, he was even expelled from his university at the Liverpool College of Art. He formed a small group with Paul McCartney called the “Quarry Men Skiffle Band.”

However, the negative personality that Lennon had was often an issue, as was his lackluster appearance. He depended on McCartney to be more endearing during shows. Sadly, they struggled to make the band get attention, and many record labels turned them down.

According to the article, part of the problem was the natural rebelliousness of Lennon. However, he decided to step outside his comfort zone to chase his dream. Brian Epstein became their manager, and he suggests that Lennon get a haircut and change his dress style. It was like flipping a light switch on his career.

Sure, he had to make some changes, but just a short time later, their release “I Want to Hold Your Hand” topped charts around the globe. What would happen if you stepped outside your comfort zone just a little bit?

7. Focusing On Your Failures

What lies behind you is never as important as what lies in front of you. Everyone has a past, and some are worse than others. However, if you can’t go forward because you keep turning around, it’s a major stumbling block.

What do people pack in their emotional baggage that is like tying a noose around their neck? You’ll find things like:

Guilt
Shame
Fear of failure
Regrets
Unhappiness
Anger
Past relationships
Stress and worry
Mistakes
Turmoil from childhood
Abuse
Insecurities

It’s time to unpack this suitcase and start living again. Do you know how much better you will feel when you lay down your burdens? Even if you had a horrible past, your future could be bright and sunny.

Your life is what you make it, so stop turning around and crying over things you cannot control or fix. You can, however, make changes today that will impact tomorrow.

Final Thoughts On Self-Imposed Limitations

What limitations have you put on your life that has your feet stuck in quicksand? Remember that you’re your own worst enemy. The good news is that this is all fixable.

You have the power within yourself to make changes and take control of your life. Is it going to be easy? No! Are you going to struggle to go back to your old ways? Yes!

However, if you change your mindset and develop an attitude of determination, you can accomplish anything you desire. There are things in your life that you’re not happy with, and you want to fix these issues.

Start by quoting positive affirmations to get your brain engrained with positivity. Then, start tackling your limitations one by one. In a short amount of time, you won’t even recognize yourself.

5 Reasons Why First Impressions Are Not Always Right

October 6, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

It’s effortless to form first impressions of someone. If you have a good sense of people skills and some positive thinking in your capabilities, you may feel pretty confident about the opinions you form of others based on those impressions. Perhaps you’ve even been right many times!

But first impressions aren’t foolproof, and their presence can prevent you from learning more about those you form impressions about. No matter how sure you are that your image is correct, there’s always a genuine chance that you’ve got it off-center. But how and why does this happen? Here are five reasons why first impressions are not always correct.

1. Understand Your Personal Biases

Many people think they’re immune to being biased, perhaps due to their self-awareness or because they don’t believe they are likely to have any biases. But this isn’t how human beings work!

Whether intentionally or unintentionally, you hold subconscious biases that change how you see the world and the people around you. This perception can naturally affect your first impressions, as your preferences lead you around. Here are some ways that this happens:

· Your Perception Is Shaped By Your Experiences

If someone reminds you of a teacher you disliked, you will form a more negative impression of them. If someone gives off the vibes of a friendly and kind member of your family, you may naturally like them more. What you’ve experienced in life changes how you see others based on what you’ve learned!

· Your Day Determines What You See

If you’re having a good day, you’re more likely to create favorable impressions when you meet people. But if you’re having a bad day, people are less favorable to your eye. Don’t let what side of the bed you got up on or how much positive thinking you have determined how you perceive others!

· Your Emotional State Changes Things

How you feel can impact how you behave and feel about the people around you. For example, if you’re feeling odd or uncomfortable, you’re less likely to have favorable opinions of those you’re meeting for the first time. Instead of labeling people immediately, you should consider how your behavior and presence may affect the impression they leave on you.

2. Your Perception Can Be Impaired By This Judgement

When you form first impressions, that split-second snap judgment will color your perception for a long time. This can be inherently harmful, as you’ll struggle to change your perceptions when you gain more information about someone, with your brain stuck in the past.

These judgments are often false, meaning you can’t trust anything they say! Here are some ways this judgment doesn’t reflect real perceptions and realities:

· Judgments Don’t Take Into Account The Other Person’s Unique Situation

Other people live rich, entire lives where anything could be happening. Someone who you think is simply surly and moody may be a very cheerful person. Still, your impression of them was formed after they suffered a loss in their life. You cannot know what is going on in the lives of those you first meet. So avoid making judgments when you’re not able to get all of the information necessary even to begin doing so!

· Judgments Are Based On Stereotypes

Stereotypes usually prove to be unfair and inaccurate. This is especially the case for more superficial stereotypes, such as the concept that someone is promiscuous if they dress in revealing clothing. Instead of allowing stereotypes to overrun your judgment and ruin your perception, expand your mind and understand that these “typings” aren’t necessarily true.

· Judgemental Impressions Don’t Change

Studies show that if you form a specific opinion or impression of someone from the get-go, it is tough to change it later, no matter how much evidence proves you wrong. To avoid having to undergo the complex process of unlearning these impressions, you can prevent the circumstance entirely by intentionally keeping your mind open.

3. People Are Too Complex

People aren’t exactly simple beings. Trying to make an accurate first impression of one isn’t going to work because those impressions are based on simplicity. What you first saw and experienced of that person is what you assume you will get in the long-term, even if that’s not true.

People are so complex and complicated that one impression will never provide an accurate image. Here’s why that happens:

· People Have Many Faces

No one is genuinely one-dimensional. There isn’t any person who is only severe, only funny, angry, or only sensitive. People have many sides to them and rotate between these sides as needed for daily tasks. They will behave differently at work than they do at home and very differently with strangers and new acquaintances than they will around trusted friends.

· People Are Guarded

Very few people will openly tell you their deepest secrets and worst fears from the get-go. The norm is for people to be more guarded and hold their cards close to their chest. They’ll keep things to themselves, practice a good deal of discretion, and present a positive appearance to the world around them. You have to consider that people aren’t open books and pick and choose what to share with people they’ve just met, so your first impressions may not be accurate!

· People Need Time To Show Themselves

If you want to truly and accurately know someone, you’ll need to spend a lot of time with them – or at least, much more time than it would take to form a first impression! People aren’t going to show all of their sides to people they don’t know well. A lot of people’s true selves are ones you’ll only see when you give them the time and space to feel comfortable enough around you to show themselves down to their very core.

4. You’re Influenced By Culture

Culture is the world you grow up in, the communities you’re a part of, and the opinions you’re exposed to daily – or at least regularly. No matter what, that culture is a part of who you are, and it shapes your perspectives on a deep level right down to your core.

This means that whenever you try to make a first impression of someone, you’re allowing your culturally-developed thoughts to decide whether your culture thinks well of them or not. While this can have benefits, it’s also not always accurate. Here are some ways culture has influenced you when you make first impressions:

· Physical Appearance

A lot of what we judge people has to do with their appearance. Different cultures have different expectations for positive and negative appearances, but the bottom line is that you’ll be influenced to form impressions based on how someone looks. Most specifically, studies suggest that you’ll see people you find attractive as more intelligent, competent, and healthy than those you don’t find attractive. It sounds superficial, but it’s true – you’re influenced by the attractiveness halo effect when forming impressions!

· The Media

Many people like to think they are unswayed by the media’s presentation of certain people. Still, the fact is that the media you consume does affect you on a subconscious level. According to research, you are likely to form biases based on the media you regularly consume, which will inform your first impressions.

· Collectives or Individuals?

The way you form and keep first impressions can depend on whether you are a collectivist or an individualist. If you’re a collectivist, you may feel most comfortable agreeing with the opinions of your community, culture, or collective. So you’ll be less likely to change your impressions if your community doesn’t. On the other hand, if you have an individualist view, you won’t feel bound by the unspoken rules of your culture to think and believe in a specific way. This may allow you to alter impressions as you go, say studies.

· Accents

The spoken accent, or even their manner of speaking, can change how you perceive others. You are likely to group accents based on what you know about them and form your impressions in that manner, which is understandably not the best way to develop opinions. Unfortunately, research shows that this is very common, and you’re likely to judge those with accents similar to yours more favorably than you would those with dissimilar speech.

5. People Can Learn To Make False Impressions

Even if you carefully do all you can to form the most accurate first impression, the fact is that many people out there want to learn how to make good first impressions. These people read up on body language, dress as instructed by help books, and carefully craft a persona that will allow them to make fantastic first impressions right off the bat.

Though this is an impressive success, it’s also one that warrants caution. That’s because it means that you can easily form a positive first impression of someone who is merely acting in a specific way to garner that reaction. It’s a poor way to develop trust in others. Besides, that’s why you should put all of that aside and focus on learning about someone instead of judging them based on the impression they present.

Remember, you can literally buy books, watch videos, and watch talks by “experts” about making the very best first impressions possible. With that wealth of information easily available to just about anyone, you can’t trust first impressions, as they could be entirely crafted and false!

Final Thoughts On Some Reasons Why First Impressions Are Not Always Right

It’s okay to form some first impressions depending on what people show you of them when you meet. But those impressions need to be malleable! You can’t decide that these impressions are a definite symbol of truth forever; you need to give them space to change and grow!

The bottom line is that people are complex. Understand that you have innate biases and influences that can make first impressions much less accurate. Don’t let your first impressions ruin your chances of truly getting to know someone on a deeper level over time!

4 Reasons It’s Better To Change Your Lifestyle Than Diet To Lose Weight

October 6, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

You must change your lifestyle to lose weight permanently. There’s no magic cure until you commit.

The rampant spread of diet culture, fad diets, and the glamorization of following strict meal plans has led to many people believing that dieting is the ideal solution to weight loss. People are thrilled and enticed by the idea of losing weight quickly by controlling what they eat. In fact, they do not seem to realize that it’s a dangerous cycle to begin.

All of the success stories and influencer endorsements can make diets and dieting products sound intriguing. These diets can help you to lose weight at first, which makes them even more attractive. But are they truly healthy? As it turns out, your diet shouldn’t be your main focus when trying to lose weight. Here are four reasons why it’s more important to change your lifestyle than your diet to lose weight.

1. Dieting Can Be Bad For You

Many people want to lose weight for the sake of their health, and that’s valid. But dieting is not the way to go! The reality is that dieting can ruin your body in many ways. Additionally, the fact that it’s not that effective for weight loss makes the entire concept even worse! This means there is no reason to choose to go on a diet over making lifestyle changes. In fact, dieting can be more harmful to you than simply not losing any weight at all. Here are some ways that dieting can harm your health:

· It Makes You Tired

When you eat less food, it’s pretty evident that you’ll lose energy in the process. Food contains precious calories your body needs to use as fuel to chug through the day. A lot of the foods commonly cut down on in diets are the most positive for energy levels. Think carbs. Low-carbohydrate diets are trendy, but they’ll make you tired. Worse still, that fatigue will make it difficult for you to exercise and enact healthy lifestyle changes!

· It Deprives You Of Important Nutrients

Cutting out certain food groups for a diet or simply reducing consumption of different nutrients can deprive your body of the components it needs for its functions. Fats, carbohydrates, and other food groups that get a bad reputation among dieters are crucial to your health. That’s not even considering the individual vitamins and minerals that you may not get enough of when you control your diets, such as B vitamins, fiber, potassium, and more. And on the flip side, eating too much of a certain food group to make up for the ones you lack can be harmful, too. For example, an excess of protein can be bad for your kidneys!

· It Harms Mental Health

A sudden drop in consumption can cause strain on your psychological state, draining your positive thinking. It can also open you up to the risk of developing disordered eating habits and dangerous eating disorders. No amount of weight loss in the world could make an eating disorder worth it, so if you notice signs of negative eating patterns stemming from mental health issues, you should speak to a doctor for assistance.

2. Weight Loss Has To Be Sustainable

Losing weight is easy, but keeping it off is much more difficult. This is why so many studies show that lifestyle is the most central piece in the positive long-term maintenance of healthy weight. It would be best if you were committed to a lifelong weight management endeavor, and diets don’t provide the ability to do that at all. Here’s how diets trip up a sustainable weight management solution:

· Dieting Worsens Metabolism

Your metabolic rate determines how much fuel your body burns. The faster your metabolism, the better your body will manage its intake and burn off the food you eat. In other words, having a fast metabolism will let you eat more food without gaining weight, and it’s a helpful part of weight loss. But your body is designed for survival, which means that it will not improve its metabolism unless it feels that it is safe to do so. When you go on a diet, your body recognizes that it isn’t getting enough calories and begins slowing down your metabolic rate to preserve fuel for survival. If you want to lose weight long-term, working on improving your metabolism through lifestyle is far more sustainable than dieting for fast results that slow your metabolic rate, according to studies.

· Dieting Makes You Hungry

When you don’t eat enough for your body, it’s only natural that your body will go into red alert, informing you that it needs to eat. This means that diets are tough to sustain, thanks to the heightened hunger. The longer you try to draw out a diet, the more likely you are to snap and give in to very unhealthy cravings that undo any weight loss you’ve experienced. You need to lose weight without triggering those massive hunger levels if you want it to be sustainable; the human mind and body can only deny their needs for so long!

· You’ll Regain The Weight

Even if it’s impressive, any weight lost during a diet will be regained once you stop following the diet plan. Your body has had to adapt to the new restricted calories and has entered a “starvation” mode to store fat. When you begin eating normally again, your body won’t be ready enough to keep up with everything you consume! Few can deny that drastically changing your eating habits can aid weight loss, but how long can you restrict a specific food group from your meal plans? How long can you have that large of a calorie deficit? At some point, these habits can become hard to sustain, which will cause you to regain weight – often until you’ve gained more than you’ve lost overall!

3. Dieting Doesn’t Make You Lose Weight In The Way You Think

Here’s the kicker of why you should prioritize a lifestyle change over a diet – dieting won’t help you lose weight! At least, not in any way that matters! This means that dieting is almost entirely useless when it comes to making headway in your fat-burning efforts.

Here is why:

· You Get Dehydrated

Many people who start a diet may be pleasantly surprised when they see that they look “slimmer” quickly and shed quite a few pounds at a fast rate at the beginning of their diet. But this is not actual weight loss – it is the loss of water weight. You become dehydrated, and the puffiness in your body recedes, which makes you look slimmer and weigh less. However, your body’s fat content remains the same, and water weight is regained very quickly and easily – and, of course, dehydration is terrible for your health.

· You Lose Muscle

Notice the pounds falling off the scale when you start a diet? Well, you might not be losing fat. Instead, that weight could be lost from your overall muscle mass. Restricting your calorie intake can significantly reduce muscle mass, causing you to see changes in the number of the scale, even though you look the same, begin storing fat for survival, and feel much weaker.

· Superfoods Don’t Push Weight Loss

A lot of diets involve recommendations of “superfoods” that provide tons of nutrients. But while those foods are healthy and positive for you, they also don’t help you lose weight at all. Just because something is healthy, that doesn’t mean that it’ll make you lose fat, and throwing superfoods on top of a poor lifestyle won’t do anything to your benefit.

4. Lifestyle Changes Easily Allow Long-Term Weight Loss

Lifestyle changes are indeed the best way to achieve weight loss. That’s because they involve transforming your life to better fit a healthy, sustainable pattern. Altering your habits permanently is slower. However, it is more effective when compared to simply changing how you eat for a few weeks or months.

Better yet, tons of lifestyle changes have been found to help weight loss from a scientific standpoint – even if those changes are minimal! Making these changes can happen slowly and in a non-threatening fashion. So you can do them one at a time and get accustomed to each one in the long run. Here are some lifestyle changes that can help with weight loss in a better, more effective way than a diet:

· Incorporate Exercise Into Your Life

Modern-day office jobs are terrible for physical activity, which is why learning to incorporate simple exercise into your everyday life can be significant. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), recommends that you get 150 minutes of moderate exercise weekly. However, it is also true that a bit of exercise is better than none and can have surprising results.

Here are four easy ways to add activity to your day:

Walk for five minutes once an hour.
Take the stairs instead of the elevator
Take daily walks to relax
Get up and stretch often.

All these small minor changes can add up!

· Get Enough Sleep

Sleeping well ensures that you feel energized enough to tackle the day, preventing cravings or desires for unhealthy snacks. When you feel well-rested, you don’t reach for accessible sources of calories like sweets and junk food nearly as much, and it’ll also leave you with enough energy to make your food and choose your options wisely. Remember, a healthy, long-term, sustainable diet is good for weight loss. Although often, changing lifestyle habits creates healthier diets without you even trying!

· Change Your Mindset

Find intrinsic motivation for weight loss based on your health and happiness, not how others view you. Understand the wonders of your body and stop thinking of food as the enemy. Seek to love, cherish, and nourish the functions of your brain and body instead of depriving them of what they want. You’ll find that you’ll have a better shot at losing weight when you lead with positive thinking and lose the food obsession. It’s incredible how much of a mental game it is!

Final Thoughts On How Changing Your Lifestyle Can Help You Lose Weight

So you need a balance of healthy lifestyle habits and a good diet for weight loss. But when you begin with a healthy lifestyle, the healthy diet will follow naturally without the need for fad dieting or calorie deprivation. Making long-term positive changes to your habits is the way to go!

Woman Proves You’re Never Too Old for a Sleepover With Grandpa

October 6, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

You probably can’t remember the last time you had a sleepover with your grandma or grandpa. However, one woman proves that even grown adults should spend a night or two with their grandparents sometimes.

When Megan Elizabeth’s grandpa asked her to sleepover, she felt touched by the offer and immediately accepted. It’s rare for grandchildren to have a whole evening to bond with their elders, after all.

Megan and her grandparents had always been close, so she jumped at the opportunity when her grandpa invited her over. Unfortunately, her 92-year-old grandpa lived alone after his wife passed away years prior. So, Megan knew he needed her company as often as possible.

His text message to her read: “Hi Megan, it’s grandpa. Would you like to come over and have a sleepover? I haven’t been feeling well and miss you. We can order food and watch a mystery show. Love, grandpa.”

She posted the adorable text message to her TikTok and Instagram accounts. In a video, she explained that her grandpa had been feeling sick and was crying during a phone call. After hearing about his condition, the loyal granddaughter instantly felt concerned and wanted to check on him.

When he proposed a sleepover, Megan didn’t have to think twice about the opportunity to see her sweet grandfather.

She sent him a message saying: ”Yes! I’ll be over around 7! Would you like me to get you something from the store or anything for dinner!” Megan added that she visits every chance she gets due to his deteriorating health.

When Megan asked about dinner plans, her grandpa had a few simple requests.

“Could you pick up applesauce? The cinnamon kind. And if you go somewhere with mash potatoes, I would like that because I have no teeth and can only eat soft things. Ha!” he told her in a text.

This Grandpa and Granddaughter Have a Beautiful Bond

Later that day, he had an additional request for dessert and asked for strawberry ice cream. After sending the follow-up message, he told Megan “You are my favorite granddaughter,” even though she’s his only granddaughter.

So, as soon as she got off work, Megan picked up her grandpa’s food requests. Then, she headed to his place for a night of mystery shows and bonding time.

“So I got him mashed potatoes from KFC, applesauce, and ice cream and we watched his favorite black and white murder mystery show,” she said.

Of course, her grandpa wanted to return the favor by making sure she felt comfortable. The doting grandfather put some water near her bed in case she got thirsty during the night. He also went the extra mile and made her bed just as he did during Megan’s childhood.

“He made my bed how he used to make it when I was little with my favorite doll of my grandma (rest in peace),” she said, adding that he even offered her a flashlight in case she got scared. Awww!

The heartwarming video concluded with Megan nearly crying as she said: “Staying here brings back so many good memories from my childhood. I love my grandpa so much.”

In the caption, Megan had only the nicest things to say about her old man.

“I am thankful for my grandpa and he will never understand how much love he truly has shown me. And more importantly, the love he showed my grandma while she was alive. I believe in love and loyalty because of this man. He is my hero,” she wrote.

Why Everyone Should Spend Time With Their Grandparents

If you live far away from your grandparents, you may only see them for special occasions. However, research shows that both children and grandparents can benefit from seeing each other regularly, if possible. A 2016 study published in the journal The Gerontologist discovered that grandparents and adult grandchildren with a close bond had reduced depression.

The study performed by Boston College researchers included 374 grandparents and 356 older grandchildren who participated in a larger study. The research team analyzed data gathered over a 19-year period.

Close grandparent-grandchild relationships often signify a tight-knit family, in general. However, these intergenerational ties also have separate benefits, according to lead author Sara Moorman. Since life expectancy continues to rise, these relationships have become even more vital.

Grandparents can benefit from seeing their grandchildren since they come from a different generation. Therefore, they can learn new ideas and perspectives from a younger crowd. The grandchildren can gain wisdom and insight from their grandparents who have a wealth of life experience under their belt. Understanding the past will help them prepare for their future and learn to appreciate where they came from.

For instance, grandparents will usually tell stories about their lives to their grandchildren. When the grandkids hear about the trials their grandpa or grandma went through, it helps them learn valuable life skills. Then, they can take these lessons into adulthood as they learn to navigate life on their own.

Grandparents also benefit from visiting grandchildren because it helps alleviate loneliness. Elderly people who have lost their spouse may live alone, which puts them at heightened risk for dementia and depression. So, visiting extended family is especially important to provide socialization and comfort in their later years.

Final Thoughts on Woman Having a Sleepover With Her Grandpa

If you don’t see your grandpa very often, perhaps this woman’s heartwarming story will urge you to visit. Megan Elizabeth and her grandpa have a close relationship, so she didn’t hesitate when he suggested a sleepover. They had a relaxing night watching murder mystery shows and eating KFC together. This proves that you’re never too old for a sleepover with your grandparents!

Plus, studies show that both grandparents and grandchildren benefit from their relationship. Having an emotionally close bond helps alleviate depression and ward off loneliness. Aging or losing a spouse can lead to isolation and mental health problems. Family, and grandchildren especially, provide support to the elderly and keep their minds active.

So, if your grandparents are still around, try to visit as often as possible. They will certainly feel grateful for your presence and the opportunity to create precious memories together.

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