10 Ways to Have Better Mental Discipline

October 3, 2022 by Chris Butler

Your mental discipline affects many things in your life. You can’t be full of happiness and success unless you have focus and control over your mind. Imagine you go to a buffet, and you’re overwhelmed by the options and want to eat everything in sight.

While you want to go back two or three times for more food, you know that you will pay later by being sick if you overeat. So, you use self-control to only eat the portions and foods you can without overdoing it.

This is an example that can also be used in your life. When you have mental discipline, you can make informed decisions without giving in to temptation. Sure, it’s not always easy to resist, especially when you’re dealing with comfort foods, but you know that you must stop yourself as it will cause issues.

One of the benefits of developing such control is that, eventually, you won’t be tempted to indulge. You’ll know your perimeters and stay within them without giving it much thought. Though a buffet is just an example, you can use this analogy for many aspects of your life.

Ten Excellent Ways to Have Better Mental Discipline

You won’t let your impulses dictate your actions when you learn not to give in to temptations and exercise your beliefs and boundaries. If you struggle with mental discipline, here are some ways that you can help to strengthen this form of self-control.

1. Develop New Habits When Building Better Mental Discpline

If you want to develop a new habit, you need to allow yourself anywhere from 18-250 days, according to a study from the European Journal of Social Psychology. The new practice will become automatic for most people by the 66th day. So, your new habits will not become a part of your life overnight.

Your habits are actions that have become automatic for you, and you don’t have to stop and think about doing them. For instance, you buckle your safety belt when you get into the car. You don’t realize you’re doing it, and you don’t think about it, but you do it.

The same thing can happen with other aspects of your life. A disciplined brain likes habits because it helps it to function more efficiently. Automated actions help to free up some of your mental resources so that you can focus on other tasks.

2. Eliminate Temptations

If you’ve ever been on a diet, you know that you must remove the temptations from your home to be successful. It’s challenging to develop new eating habits when you have a drawer full of snacks calling your name. When you remove the temptation from your presence, it doesn’t have the same power over you.

Sure, you’re still going to crave and want these things, but if they’re not as easily accessible to you, it makes it harder to get them. If you want a disciplined brain, you must remove the temptations from your path.

3. Always Have a Plan B

If life teaches you anything, it’s that you must be flexible. Things will never go as planned, and you may need to alter your route. So, while you’re making your goals and deciding where you want to be, make sure you have a plan B.

It’s essential that when your device has this backup plan, you don’t think of automatic failure, but you need to be realistic. While you don’t plan on using it, you need the other roadmap for purposeful course correction. Mental discipline will allow for adjustments in your path, but you must keep moving forward no matter your setbacks.

4. Dust Yourself Off When You Stumble

There’s no way you’ll be perfect and never make any mistakes, as it’s unrealistic. The disciplined brain can see that when you make mistakes, it’s all part of the learning process. You must pick yourself up and try again. How many times does an ice skater fall before they learn to do a triple axel?

They certainly don’t start on the ice doing flips and landing perfectly, but it’s a skill they must acquire. They wouldn’t know the proper stance and speed to make the perfect jump if they didn’t fall twice. Don’t expect perfection when changing your mental discipline, but know that you can try again.

5. Define Your Goals and a Plan to Achieve Improved Mental Discipline

If you want to obtain a higher level of self-discipline, you can do so by having a vision for your future. It would help if you had a plan or a roadmap for your life. To start, you must define what success is to you, as it’s different for each person. It’s much easier to get sidetracked when you don’t have a clear destination.

When you take the time to develop a clear plan, each step you make is done with purpose. For instance, you won’t spend that extra money on a new car because your goal is to be debt-free in three years, and a new car won’t fit into the plans. Well-disciplined people know how to stay on track, and they do it by becoming emotionally connected to their journey. It’s easier to see the finish line when you have an emotional connection to your goals.

6. Gain Strength from Mentors and Coaches

Remember the story of Anne Sullivan and Helen Keller? A debilitating case of scarlet fever caused Keller to become blind and deaf at only 19 months old. As a young girl, it seemed like her life was over, but Anne Sullivan saw the potential through her darkness.

Under Sullivan’s direction, Keller learned sign language and that everything has a name. Sullivan also taught her how to speak and communicate with the world. The fascinating part of the story is that Sullivan was also legally blind, and she wore dark sunglasses. She lost most of her vision at five years of age from trachoma.

Keller published an autobiography of her journey, but she wouldn’t have been successful if it hadn’t been for her mentor. Everyone needs mentors in life to help them along the way. In contrast, you may not have the challenges of Hellen Keller, but having someone to help you along the way can mean everything in your journey.

7. Identify Your Strengths and Weaknesses

Everyone has a few weaknesses. For some folks, it’s video games and electronics, and for others, it’s junk food. Regardless of your vulnerabilities, the real issue is the amount of control it can have over you. Identifying both your strengths and weaknesses is essential to securing your mental discipline.

You’re not doing yourself any favor if you pretend these weaknesses don’t exist, and you’re causing yourself great harm by living in denial. Never throw your hands up and say, “Whatever!” Instead, you need to realize what you struggle with, and it’s only with the proper mindset that you can overcome them.

8. Alter Your Perceptions

Your beliefs greatly limit you. Perhaps you want to run the 5K in your local town, but you only think you can run two miles, so you don’t sign up. If you don’t believe you can accomplish something, you won’t. Consequently, if you think you can run the race, you will push through. It’s all about willpower and your ability to press through your judgments.

When you develop a mindset of unlimited willpower, you can strengthen your mental toughness. Your internal perceptions about willpower and self-control will help establish your level of discipline. Everyone has subconscious obstacles that stand in their way, but your drive will help motivate you to turn your dreams and goals into a reality.

9. When It Comes to Mental Discipline, Practice Makes Perfect

No one comes into this world with a disciplined brain, but it’s a learned behavior you develop over time. Have you ever watched a ballerina elegantly glide across the floor? They don’t just wake up one day and decide to dance, but they must practice from a young age to develop this skill.

Why are some dancers better than others? It’s all about the amount of time they spend in training, and their focus and discipline play a big part. Sure, these individuals have other things to do, but their self-control drives them to reach their goals. Practice makes perfect, and exercising your self-discipline can get you where you want to be.

10. Realize Your Mind is Weak

Your mind is restricted by rigorous limitations, but your consciousness doesn’t have these constraints. Sometimes, you need to look beyond your mind and realize that you have another energy source from which you can draw strength. There will be days when you feel mentally and physically exhausted and don’t want to keep going. You realize that you must push yourself, as this is what being disciplined is all about.

Final Thoughts on Having Better Mental Discipline

You have the power within you to do anything you set your mind to accomplish. It takes focus, willpower, and determination to have the mental discipline you desire. Developing a disciplined brain isn’t an easy process, but it’s worth the effort.

10 Mental Relaxation Techniques Most People Forget

October 3, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Mental relaxation techniques can help with stress management and enjoying life. It helps decrease and prevent stress, allowing you to feel good emotionally and physically. As you relax, it will help you cope with daily stress. You’ll feel like you’re regaining control of your life.

Relaxation isn’t all about laying on the couch watching your favorite shows. Instead, it requires activating your natural relaxation response, putting a stop to the effects of stress. The best process is different for everyone, so keep trying until you find a technique that works for you.

You can do these relaxation techniques anywhere, making them a beneficial activity to learn. Destressing will be possible no matter where you are or what’s happening. These relaxation techniques will make you feel better, but they have other benefits, too.

Fifteen Benefits of Mental Relaxation Techniques

Too much mental stress can lead to physical illness and health concerns. Mental relaxation promotes the following:

Steady heart rate
Lower blood pressure
Improved digestion
Healthy blood sugar levels
Improved focus and mood
Slowed breathing rate
Increased confidence levels
Reduced stress hormones
Increased resiliency when handling problems
Increased blood flow to muscles
Decreased muscle tension
Reduced chronic pain
Better sleep quality
Less anger and frustration
Decreased fatigue

Ten Mental Relaxation Techniques

1. Exercise and Movement to Help Relax the Mind

Many people don’t realize how soothing exercise is, but anything that requires repetitive movement helps. Studies show that it helps keep control of your thoughts, produces relaxation, and decreases stress. Some exercises you can do include:

Swimming
Walking
Running
Rowing
Climbing
Hiking
Dancing

As you exercise, be mindful of how your body feels in the moment. Push away thoughts of daily worries or concerns for the future. Don’t zone out while you exercise, and focus on how your breathing changes based on your movements.

Focus on how it feels when your feet touch the ground, or the breeze brushes your skin. If you aren’t exercising outside, focus on making your breathing align with your movements. You can also focus on how your body feels as you raise weights or change positions.

2. Visualization Relaxations Techniques

Also known as guided imagery, visualization is a traditional form of meditation. It involves imagining an environment where you feel peaceful and free to release tension and anxiety. Close your eyes and think of a relaxing setting such as the beach, a favorite relaxation spot, or a quiet area of the woods.

Some people like to use sounds along with their visualization. If you visualize the beach, you might want to hear waves in the background. Likewise, if you think of the woods, you might want to listen to birds chirping.

When you picture your location, think about it vividly. Consider what you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel. Incorporating as many sensory details as possible make it more realistic and calming.

3. Turn Off Your Electronics

One of the best ways to clear your mind is to unplug. It’s hard to focus or relax your mind when you constantly have messages or notifications popping up. Plus, constantly scrolling through social media further hinders your thought process.

4. Practice Deep Breathing

Deep breathing techniques focus on full cleansing breaths. It is a simple but powerful relaxation technique that you can practice anywhere. Deep breathing is a quick technique, too, allowing you to squeeze it into the busiest of schedules.

To start deep breathing, follow these steps:

Sit with your back straight, and place one hand on your chest with the other on your stomach.
Breathe in through your nose as the hand on your stomach rises. Your other hand should move very little on your chest.
Exhale through your mouth, focusing on pushing out as much air as possible. As you push out the air, contract your abdominal muscles. Your hand on your stomach should move in, and the other hand should continue remaining still.
Repeat breathing in and out, focusing on the rise and fall of your abdomen.

5. Relaxation Techniques to Release the Emotions

Everyone experiences situations that break their focus and interfere with their attitude. When this happens, you can release the emotions by dealing with them when they arise. If you don’t find a way to relax, the negative situation will cause minor irritations to disrupt your peace even more.

You can release the irritation by taking a moment to calm down and identify the issue. Then, breathe as you analyze what you can do and how you’re feeling. Finally, release the emotion by letting go of the tension.

Another way you can release your emotions is by taking a walk, listening to soothing music, and focusing on your breathing. Other options include using positive affirmations and mantras.

6. Spend Time Writing to Relax After a Long Day

Writing can help you clear your mind by letting out your experience or emotion. It helps organize your thoughts and allows you to come up with solutions you hadn’t thought of before. When you come up with solutions, it leads to progress, helping you release negative emotions.

If you don’t know what’s bothering you, writing relaxation techniques can help you figure it out. As you start writing, see what comes out and which topics you gravitate toward. This exercise can help you express yourself and mentally relax.

Sometimes making a list is all that you need to do. You can list who and what you’re grateful for, bringing joy and peace to your mind. It also helps you focus on positivity, releasing things that cause stress.

7. Spend Time in Nature

Connecting to nature can help alleviate stress and calm your mind. When you feel stressed, spend a few minutes outside focusing on nature. Go for a short walk or find somewhere peaceful to sit.

If you can’t get outside, research shows that there are other ways to bask in the benefits of nature. You can also look at images of nature scenes for five minutes can help you calm down. It might help even more if you play nature sounds, too.

Gardening is another perfect way to spend time in nature. Getting your hands in the soil exposes you to beneficial microorganisms that boost your mood and helps you focus.

8. Body Scan Meditation

This type of meditation helps you focus on parts of your body, starting with your feet and working your way up. You don’t tense or relax any of the muscles. Instead, you focus on how each part feels, avoiding labeling the sensations as good or bad.

To practice body scan meditation, follow these steps:

Lie on your back with legs uncrossed and arms at your sides.
Focus on your breathing for a couple of minutes before turning to your body parts.
Shift your focus to the toes of one of your feet. Acknowledge the sensations you feel, and imagine your breath flowing to your toes. Focus on this area for at least five seconds before moving on.
Next, focus on the sole of the same foot, acknowledging those sensations and envisioning your breath flowing.
After that, move to your ankle and continue repeating the process, working your way up the same leg.
Once you’ve finished the leg, shift your focus to your calf, knee, thigh, and hip. Then, start on your toes in the opposite leg, working your way up again.
After the second leg, move to your torso, lower back, abdomen, upper back, chest, and shoulders.
Once complete, bask in the stillness and silence for a while. Allow yourself to stay relaxed and note how your body feels.

9. Mental Relaxation Techniques Using Mindfulness Meditation

This type of meditation helps you switch your focus to the present, helping you fully engage in the moment. Mindfulness reduces stress, anxiety, depression, and other negative emotions that interfere with your well-being.

Some mindfulness practices involve focusing on a repetitive action such as breathing or repeating a few positive words. Other methods require giving into your thoughts or sensations, then releasing them a few minutes later. You can practice mindfulness when walking, exercising, eating, driving, or any other time of day.

When you first start practicing mindfulness meditation, you might lose focus sometimes. You’ll find yourself wandering back to your worries or regrets, and that’s normal.

It takes practice to get it right, but keep refocusing and trying until you get it. Each time you refocus, you strengthen a new habit that helps you break free of mental stress.

10. Listen to Calming Music

Music calms the activity in your brain, making it the perfect mental relaxation technique. Research shows that music leads to fewer neurons firing in the part of your brain that responds to fear. Some experts believe that it leads to decreased signals in the rest of your brain, encouraging relaxation.

Final Thoughts on Mental Relaxation Techniques

Mental relaxation techniques can change your life. You’ll begin to recognize your stress response and can make a conscious effort to calm your mind. It’ll prevent the situation from spiraling, helping you maintain a sense of well-being.

Relaxation techniques take practice, so don’t get discouraged. You’ll continually get better at them and notice the difference. It’ll decrease our stress levels while promoting mental relaxation, so keep trying until you find a technique that works.

When a Strong Woman Says Goodbye for Good, You Can’t Win Her Back

October 2, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Stong women are different, and it’s hard to nail down their thought processes. If you were lucky enough to date a strong woman, you might not be successful in trying to win her back. Once a strong person is gone, she’s usually gone for good.

A strong woman won’t handle breaking up the same way others do, either. She won’t cry for a long time or blame you for the situation. Plus, she won’t beg you to stay if you’re the one ending things.

You might be surprised by how a strong person handles herself during a breakup. When she decides that she’s finished, she isn’t coming back, and you might not understand why. There are a few reasons to familiarize yourself with if you want to understand the situation.

Why You Can’t Win Back a Strong Woman

If the woman says goodbye, you aren’t likely to win her back. You can try, but it won’t always go as planned. These reasons can help you understand why you can’t get her back.

They Don’t Put Up with Issues.

These women are tough and won’t put up with issues. They are wise and quick to think about their principles. If someone tries to do them wrong, they won’t hesitate to walk away permanently.

She’s Survived Before

She’s strong because she’s been through hard times before. A strong person has survived everything they’ve been through in the past and knows they’ll understand everything that comes, too. She fights alone, understanding that she shouldn’t have to beg for the things she deserves.

They Know Their Life Isn’t Over.

Things don’t always go as planned, and strong people know that it doesn’t mean life is over. They know when to walk away, and they’ll do so without looking back.

Since they know life goes on, they don’t waste a minute before moving forward. They don’t beat themselves up or tell themselves that they’ll never be happy again. Even if they cry, they know they deserve someone who values her.

She views the end of a relationship as a new beginning rather than the end of something great. A strong woman isn’t afraid to start over and build something new.

When They’ve Made Up Their Mind, There’s No Going Back.

If a strong person makes up their mind, you can’t change it. Once they’ve decided to leave, they know what’s best for them, and they stick to it. They begin moving on right away and understand that going back will only interfere with their progress.

Strong people know that looking forward will bring more happiness than looking back. Their strength and determination prevent them from ever going back.

She Owns Up to Her Responsibility

A strong woman never hesitates to take responsibility for her actions. She isn’t afraid to say when she’s wrong, and she won’t blame anyone else. When a relationship doesn’t work out, she won’t blame her partner, even when it would be acceptable.

Instead, she only acknowledges her mistakes before moving on. She knows that if someone doesn’t want to be with her, it’s their loss, and she’ll find someone who does.

Strong Women Know That Breakups Are Sometimes for the Best

A strong woman acknowledges when a breakup is for the best. She’ll leave if she thinks it’s what’s best for either of you, even if she’d rather stay. A strong person knows that the pain of a breakup is worth it so that both partners can be happier in the future.

Life is short, and it’s best to have a fulfilling and meaningful time. She doesn’t only think of herself, but she also thinks of what will make her partner happy. This bravery and fearlessness show her kind and open heart because she does what’s best even if it’s hard.

She Knows That Not Everyone Should Stay in Her Life

Strong people know when their partner isn’t good for them. She’ll understand that not everyone belongs in her life, and she’ll move on as soon as she acknowledges it.

A strong person knows that the right person will stick around and ensure a healthy relationship. If their current partner isn’t the one, they’ll leave without looking back.

She Can Survive Alone

Strong people don’t need others in their life to make them feel fulfilled. They respect someone’s decision to leave, and they understand when they must walk away. A strong woman knows that she can survive alone and doesn’t need anyone to validate her. She’d rather walk away and be alone than beg anyone for their attention.

A Strong Woman Doesn’t Have Regrets.

When a strong person moves on, she doesn’t have regrets. She understands how life works and knows that things won’t always go as planned. Strong people also know that the people they meet during their life journey won’t always stick around.

Every ending has a new beginning, including new people to bring into her life. This knowledge reaffirms that she shouldn’t regret her decision.

She Doesn’t Lose Hope.

Stong women are fearless enough to handle anything. They don’t lose hope and don’t hesitate to open their hearts again. These characteristics make it, so they don’t look back because they know someone out there won’t hurt them.

The breakup will teach the woman about her self-worth and make her realize that she’ll be okay without you. Her hope only fosters her growth, encouraging her to pursue her goals and dreams. She’ll thrive once she begins to focus on herself and her renewed sense of hope.

She Forgives Herself

A strong woman won’t say goodbye and then ask to come back. Instead, she focuses on forgiving herself for mistakes and what went wrong. She focuses on self-love, knowing that it is essential to her moving on.

Strong people don’t blame themselves, but they still know that forgiveness is necessary. Once forgiveness has begun, she won’t look back.

She Forgives but Doesn’t Forget.

Strong people don’t only forgive themselves, but they’ll forgive you, too. However, she doesn’t forget. Since she doesn’t forget what happens, she won’t look back, and you won’t be able to convince her otherwise.

Stong people keep moving forward no matter how bad the ending hurt. She’ll keep moving forward, viewing you as another part of her past.

A Strong Woman Focuses on Becoming the Best Version of Herself

When a relationship ends, and a strong person walks away, she doesn’t mourn the loss. She spends her time and energy on herself, becoming the best version possible. A strong person will shine more than before, knowing that the end means the beginning of something new.

She Can Make Herself Happy

A strong woman doesn’t need anyone else to make her happy. She is her source of happiness, including when she experiences heartache. Stong people know that people aren’t always who they seem, so she never loses sight of her ability to find happiness alone.

Strong Women Embrace Change

Some people resist change, but strong people embrace it. She doesn’t deny that moving on is best, and she’ll find the bright side in any situation. Plus, she won’t stick around for the comfort of a relationship.

Once a strong woman knows that moving on is best, she starts immediately. Nothing can stand in her way or change her mind as she accepts the changes.

5 Strong Women Quotes to Remember

Strong people are unique, and these quotes can help prove it. If you ever feel weak, come back to these quotes to remember how strong you are.

1. “Strong women don’t play the victims, don’t make themselves look pitiful, and don’t point fingers. They stand, and they deal.” – Mandy Hale

A strong person doesn’t blame their partner for ongoing issues. Instead, they own up to their involvement and know that it’s up to them to walk away.

2. “A strong woman builds her own world. She is one who is wise enough to know that it will attract the man she will gladly share it with.” – Ellen J. Barrier

Don’t make your partner your world, or you won’t have anywhere to turn if it ends. A strong woman acknowledges this fact and builds a separate life. She’ll share it with her partner but never give it up.

3. “Truly powerful women don’t explain why they want respect. They simply don’t engage with those who don’t give it to them.” – Anonymous

You don’t have to explain why you want respect because you deserve it regardless. Don’t waste time explaining yourself because you deserve someone who respects you no matter what.

4. “Strong women aren’t simply born. We are forged through the challenges of life. With each challenge, we grow mentally and emotionally. We move forward with our head held high and a strength that cannot be denied. A woman who’s been through the storm and survived. We are warriors.” – Anonymous

People aren’t born strong, and they develop it through life’s hardships. They work hard to mentally and emotionally overcome, allowing them to grow each time. Once they reach this point, there’s no turning back once they change their mind.

5. “I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” – Rosa Parks

Once you have made up your mind, you’ll notice fear lifting. You won’t be afraid once you know what you must do. Instead, you’ll be ready to get started on the rest of your life.

Final Thoughts on Why You Can’t Win a Strong Woman Back When She Says Goodbye for Good

When a strong woman walks away, she’s not coming back. No matter how much you try to convince her to return, she won’t give in.

A strong woman knows what she is worth and only focuses on moving forward and becoming a better person. She won’t look back when something isn’t right for her. Once she leaves, she’s gone for good.

15 Life Lessons Brené Brown Has Taught Us

October 2, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

With so much talk about authenticity and vulnerability, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable with the concept. You might think you’re being yourself just by living, but there’s a bit more to it. These life lessons from Brené Brown offer helpful insight into living a fulfilling and meaningful life.

Many people are uncomfortable with being vulnerable, especially at work, school, or in social situations. However, it opens you up to so many possibilities because it leads to being authentic. It involves being self-aware and willing to change detrimental behaviors.

While the concepts can be intimidating to think about, it might help if you understand why you should live this way. Knowing the reasons will give you motivation and determination to hone in on being authentic, vulnerable, and self-aware.

Brené Brown can give you the answers you need while also giving you confidence in your ability to embrace life. Her honest quotes can help you make beneficial changes in your life, allowing you to improve all aspects. Advice from Brené Brown will help you live a fulfilling and meaningful life.

Who is Brené Brown?

Brené Brown is a bestselling author, researcher, storyteller, and professor of social work at the University of Houston. She studies shame, courage, empathy, and vulnerability, and often speaks about being authentic.

Brené Brown was named the more influential woman in 2009 in the Houston Woman Magazine. Additionally, she’s received teaching awards related to her achievements in Social Work.

Brené Brown believes that strength comes from being vulnerable and encourages people to choose “courage over comfort.” She prioritizes gratitude during the life journey because it leads to the vulnerability you need.

Fifteen Life Lessons from Brené Brown

Brené Brown’s lessons will help you see how to improve your life and live fully. These inspiring quotes will help you make changes that lead to being a better version of yourself.

1. “What’s the greater risk? Letting go of what people think – or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?”

This quote teaches that you should never let go of your values so that others don’t think less of you. It might seem easier to go along with what other people want, but it’s not. As Brown explains, the bigger risk is letting go of how you feel and who you are.

2. “Nothing has transformed my life more than realizing that it’s a waste of time to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people in the stands.”

Another of the valuable life lessons from Brené Brown is that people watching you live your life can’t dictate your worthiness. They are simply observers, not active participants, and their opinion doesn’t matter. Don’t weigh yourself against the standards of others, especially not the ones who sit back and watch.

3. “Somehow we’ve come to equate success with not needing anyone. Many of us are willing to extend a helping hand, but we’re very reluctant to reach out for help when we need it ourselves. It’s as if we’ve divided the world into “those who offer help” and “those who need help.” The truth is that we are both.”

You must remember that you can give help and ask for help. Asking for help doesn’t make you less successful. If you never hesitate to help others but won’t ask when you need something, it’s time to make a change. As Brené Brown explains, everyone who offers help needs help at some point.

4. “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.”

This lesson tells you that being vulnerable can help you tap into your innovation and creativity. You can’t change your life if you’re unwilling to be vulnerable sometimes. Without being yourself, you can’t find the things that will bring about positive change or growth.

5. “You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.”

This quote teaches you that you must be active in your life rather than watching and trying to earn worthiness. You are already worthy just as you are, so get out there and live your life. Do the things you want and need, and the rest falls into place.

6. “Just because someone isn’t willing or able to love us, it doesn’t mean that we are unlovable.”

It’s essential to learn that you will come across people who can’t love you, and it’s okay. If someone can’t love you as you are, it doesn’t mean that you’re unlovable.

Instead, it shows that you haven’t found the right person for you. Don’t beat yourself up or blame yourself for what went wrong. It’s not your fault, and you’re worthy of finding someone who can love you.

7. “Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.”

This quote offers the lesson that you must let go of the idea of perfectionism. If you strive for perfection, you’ll never be happy with your accomplishments or progress. Many people believe that perfectionism can eliminate shame, judgment, and blame, but that’s not the case.

Striving for perfection exacerbates those negative feelings, causing you to feel even worse about yourself. You’ll constantly seek control and place blame, trying to reach the level of perfection you’re looking for. Instead, be authentic, embracing your flaws and shortcomings along the way.

8. “I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness – it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.”

Another lesson from Brené Brown is that practicing gratitude makes you happy. Looking for happiness from an external source won’t get you there. You must reflect and think about all the good in your life before finding happiness.

9. “Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.’”

This quote reminds you that empathy looks different for everyone. If you or someone in your life doesn’t show empathy the same way other people do, it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

Empathy is about connection, being physically present, and listening without judgment. As long as someone doesn’t leave a grieving person alone, they’re being empathetic.

10. “Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.”

This lesson reminds you to prioritize healthy relationships. Humans need connection and to feel loved, seen, and connected. When you think about all the things you do and the joyous parts of your life, they often involve connection. Even people who love alone time need human interaction sometimes.

Think about what gives life meaning because that’s what will help you find connection and purpose. Some of the relationships you should focus on include:

Family
Friendships
Romantic
Work
Education and learning

If you have people to connect with in every area of your life, you’ll always feel like you belong. Getting to know others improves life, making it more meaningful and fulfilling.

11. “We don’t have to do all of it alone. We were never meant to.”

When you feel lonely or need some help, don’t be afraid to reach out. As Brené Brown puts it, you aren’t meant to be alone. This lesson doesn’t mean you need a romantic relationship, but you must have someone you can connect to.

12. “A crisis highlights all of our fault lines. We can pretend that we have nothing to learn, or we can take this opportunity to own the truth and make a better future for ourselves and others.”

This lesson reminds you to recognize your faults, allowing you to do better. If you ignore your faults, you’ll never find growth and improvement. There’s always something new to learn or improve on, so never miss an opportunity for development.

13. “Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”

This quote teaches that you must choose to be authentic every day. Every choice you make contributes to your sense of authenticity. This situation happens when you stop apologizing for being who you are.

Accept yourself and all the things that make you different. You won’t thrive in the same situation as someone else, and that’s okay because it makes you unique. Be proud of yourself, embrace your strengths, and know that it’s okay to be who you are.

14. “The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows.”

Remember that when darkness comes, the light will return. Let the dark times highlight the good in your life rather than living in fear or rumination.

15. “Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; it’s choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them.”

This life lesson teaches you to choose what is right over what is easy. Be brave and stand up for what you believe in. Don’t hide your feelings or let injustice occur. Instead, speak up and do the right thing.

Final Thoughts on Life Lessons Brené Brown Has Taught Us

These pieces of advice from Brené Brown can help you make positive changes in your life. With authenticity and vulnerability, everything else falls into place. Remember these quotes as a way to live a more fulfilling and meaningful life. Make the most of your time, and embrace who you are.

22 Reasons Why Young Adults Stop Dating

October 2, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Dating can be fun, but ever-evolving terms and rules make some people prefer to stay single. They think it’s fun to get to know new people, and they remain hopeful for finding love, but it’s not easy. The dating game has become full of games and confusing information.

If you haven’t dated in a while, you may be confused about some new terminology. Understanding the dating terms can help you feel more comfortable getting out there. While some Gen Z prefers to stay single, you shouldn’t let the complicated changes hold you back.

Gen Z people want to connect with others and love to share their passions and goals. They’re great at supporting and motivating one another, too. Gen Zs view justice and equality as rights for everyone, making them less likely to discriminate.

However, even with all of these admirable traits, they still struggle when it comes to dating. Gen Zs don’t hide who they are or what they want, and they’ve become pickier about who they date. If you hope to understand why Gen Z people might prefer to stay single, these terms can help you figure it out.

22 Dating Terms That Explain Why Gen Z Prefers to Stay Single

1. Cushioning

This term describes a situation where someone keeps people around that they can talk to and flirt with when starting a new romance. They use people as a cushion or something to fall back on if their new relationship doesn’t work out.

2. Ghosting

This term is well-known in the dating world, and it means that someone has randomly stopped answering your texts and calls. They abruptly stop interacting with you, disappearing without explanation.

You’ll likely wonder what you did wrong if it happens to you. However, the situation has nothing to do with you, so pick up and move on without a second thought.

You also might hear about soft ghosting, which is a lighter form. The person will gradually cut off communication but still like your messages or comments. However, they don’t continue your conversation even when there’s an opportunity.

3. Laybe

This term describes someone still in a relationship, but it’s about to end. This person looks for a potential rebound, flirting with others so that they have someone when their romance ends.

4. Eclipsing

Eclipsing is when you start dating someone new and take on all of their hobbies. It’s normal to show an interest, but you shouldn’t take on all of them as your own. You might not think it’s a big deal, but it shows that you aren’t being true to yourself.

5. Flashpanning

Flashpanning describes someone that bails on a relationship as soon as the excitement wanes. They enjoy the exciting nights and fun days and feel like they can’t get enough of their partner. After that, they lose interest and move on to the next new relationship.

6. Slow Fade

A slow fade is similar to soft ghosting, but it describes when someone you’ve been dating becomes less and less available. The other person will still talk to you and hang out, but they become less likely to do so. The relationship slowly fades until you lose touch altogether. No wonder Gen Z wants to be single!

7. Umfriend

A umfriend is someone you can do relationship things with even when you’re not in a partnership. You both have a mutual understanding of the situation, making it fun and exciting.

8. Type-Casting

Someone who type-casts is picky on who they’ll date. This person doesn’t always want someone with specific character traits, but they also have another set of qualifications.

Sometimes they’ll only want to date a specific astrological sign or love language. People who type-cast also might consider personality types, height, or hair color. They won’t consider dating anyone who doesn’t meet the criteria.

9. Fluffer

A fluffer prepares another person for a relationship but doesn’t date them. You might spend time with someone you like and help them improve issues in their life. Then, they date someone else once they’re ready for a partnership.

10. Benching

If someone puts you on the back burner while they date others, they’re benching you. They know they can call you if something else doesn’t work out, and they’ll leave you as a backup plan. Someone who benches others will reach out enough to keep you around, but they don’t put in time or energy. You might notice that they only spend time with you when they have no other options.

11. Breadcrumbing

Breadcrumbing is similar to benching because the person puts in only enough effort to keep someone interested. They don’t want to lose you while dating others, so they’ll engage in chats and messages without pursuing a relationship.

This person will flirt just enough to keep you around. It also refers to what an ex does when they appear just as you start moving on.

12. Exing

This term refers to when someone is still playing games with their ex. They often engage in an on-again/off-again relationship, using new partners to create more drama. This person isn’t ready to move on, but they want the freedom to come and go as they please.

13. White Clawing

White clawing means you date someone attractive but finds boring otherwise. You stay with your partner because they look good, even though you know it won’t last.

14. Yellow Carding

When you’re dating someone and call them out for something, it’s called yellow carding. You might call your partner out on their questionable viewpoints, negative attitude, or inappropriate behavior.

15. Paperclipping

When you’ve been dating someone but haven’t moved things forward, it could mean they’re paperclipping you. If so, the person you’re dating will sense you getting ready to walk away and bring up the possibility of the next step. They do this to keep you interested, giving themselves an ego boost and continuing the noncommittal romance.

16. Roaching

When someone you’ve been seeing for a while but still uses dating apps, they’re roaching. They use the apps to meet up with others. Then, when you find out, they’ll claim they didn’t know you were official or exclusive.

However, they know you’re exclusive enough that you’ll get mad. This is evident because the person will do whatever they can to hide that they’re still talking to and seeing other people.

17. Kittenfishing

Many of us are guilty of kittenfishing. This term describes when someone stretches the truth about themselves when getting to know someone. They’ll talk themselves up and portray themselves in a way that isn’t always accurate.

You might claim to love rock music, but really you only know one song and prefer a different genre. It seems harmless, but you aren’t allowing the other person to get to know the real you. Anytime someone tells a little white lie to seem more desirable, it’s kittenfishing.

18. Dial Toning

This term describes a confusing dating experience that many people wonder about. If someone asks for your number but never calls, it’s dial toning. It’ll leave you wondering what the point was of asking in the first place.

19. Firedooring

You might have experience firedooring without even realizing it. It’s when someone texts you, and you always text back. However, when you text them, they ignore you and don’t reply. This person will be standoffish unless they’re the ones who reached out first. They’ll also never commit to plans, so you never know what to expect.

20. Microcheating

Microcheating occurs in a committed relationship and involves being emotionally involved with someone else. Emotional cheating never turns physical, but it creates opportunities if the desire arises. If you’re in a partnership, microcheating can be a big deal to your partner–and make them want to be single again.

21. Glamboozled

Glamboozled is when you get all dressed up and ready to go out, and then your date cancels the plans. Sometimes your date might not show up, leaving you wondering what happened.

If you ever get glamboozled, don’t let it go to waste. Call your friends and see if someone can go out with you. Or, at the very least, take some selfies before you get back into your comfortable clothes.

22. Pocketing

Pocketing describes a romance where the person you’re seeing won’t introduce you to their friends or family. While this behavior is typical early on in the relationship, it shouldn’t last for too long. They might keep the romance a secret, or they don’t expect it to continue long-term.

Pocketing shows that someone keeps their love life separate from the rest of their life. In most healthy relationships, both partners want to make it known. It’s something worth bringing up to someone you’re seeing.

Final Thoughts on Dating Terms That Explain Why Gen Z Prefers to Stay Single

If these dating terms make you want to turn down dating forever, take a deep breath. These dating situations have always existed, even if they evolve. Don’t worry about the terminology so much as you worry about being happy and respecting yourself.

As long as you find someone who brings joy to your life and treats you well, these terms won’t matter anymore. You’re not the only one who feels overwhelmed by the words or the situations. Remember that you only have to do what feels right for you, and try not to let the desire to stay single worry you.

13 Red Flags That Reveal an Emotionally Abusive Partner

October 2, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

If someone brings more stress than joy into your life, they likely aren’t good for you. You might not realize your partner’s intentions until later in the relationship, but it’s a sure sign they aren’t worth it. You deserve someone who treats you with respect and makes you feel good in life–not an emotionally abusive partner. That’s true even when you disagree about something.

You might question whether your partner truly cares for you, and that’s never a good sign in a relationship. If you ever have this thought about your relationship, it could indicate an emotionally abusive partner. These signs can help you identify the issues within your relationship, giving you the knowledge that you need to walk away.

There are many indicators of mental abuse in a relationship if you know what to look for. When you have an idea of red flags, you can identify them sooner and make a change.

If you have an emotionally abusive partner, it’s not your fault, and you don’t have to put up with it. You don’t deserve it, and resources are available to help you. Seek help and get support because you don’t have to go through this alone.

What Is Emotional Abuse?

Emotional abuse can turn to physical harm as it progresses. This type of abuse is any harmful behavior that doesn’t involve physical contact. When a pattern of abuse occurs repeatedly, it indicates you have an emotionally abusive partner. This situation results in depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Why Mental Abuse is So Confusing

Identifying mental abuse requires understanding why it can be so confusing. An emotionally abusive partner will create a pattern to keep you around, making you think things can get better. The cycle starts as a toxic relationship, and you might not realize it until the abuse begins. After an instance of abuse, they’ll return to kind and loving behavior before shifting back once again.

Thirteen Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Partner

While an emotionally abusive relationship isn’t as easy to identify as a physically abusive situation, there are signs. Recognizing the signs can help you make changes and regain control of your life.

1. An Emotionall Abusive Partner Can Be Controlling, Possessive, and Jealous

Jealousy is common in an emotionally abusive relationship. Your partner might make it seem like their controlling or possessive behavior is beneficial, but they’re only trying to cover up the red flag.

Jealousy is sometimes harmless, but it can quickly cross the line. If your partner’s insecurity forces you to change your life, it’s no longer normal relationship behavior.

It’s a red flag if your partner expects you to answer their calls or texts immediately, no matter what you’re doing. They’ll question who you were with, what you were doing, and where you have been.

They might not like your friends of their gender because they’re possessive. Sometimes they’ll go so far as to accuse you of infidelity without evidence.

An emotionally abusive partner might even try to control how you think or feel. They want you to agree with them on everything, despite knowing of your differences in the beginning. Eventually, they’ll begin controlling your thoughts until you think their abuse is acceptable.

2. An Emotionally Abusive Partner Wants You to Change

Your partner should like you for who you are, not try to change the things that make you unique. They might act embarrassed by everything you do or blatantly tell you to change. It’s a red flag if they want you to change who you are.

Pay attention if they tell you to lose weight, change your hair or makeup, or make different life plans. They’ll make it seem like they’re looking out for you or helping you, but it’s because they’re abusing you. If they don’t like who you are or what you look like, it’s time to move on and find someone who does.

3. They Become Emotionally Distant

An emotionally abusive partner might use the silent treatment to get their point across. It’s their way of punishing you when they’re upset. They’ll refuse to talk to you or even acknowledge you.

When they do start talking, they’ll still behave emotionally distant. The abuser will often treat their victim as an acquaintance rather than a romantic partner.

4. They Argue About Everything

An emotionally abusive partner might argue over minor things like where you’ll eat for dinner. You’ll eventually fight every time you’re together, indicating incompatibility and toxicity. Don’t put up with full-blown arguments over small things when you could move on and find happiness.

5. They Isolate You from Others

If you’re in an abusive relationship, your partner likely wants to distance you from your friends and loved ones. They’ll try to take control of your life by isolating you from the people who care about you. They want you to themselves regardless of the harm to your well-being.

An abusive partner might guilt-trip you and make you feel like you must be with them most of the time. It is their way of preventing your loved ones from voicing concerns over your relationship.

When you spend time with your friends or family, your partner might punish you for it. They’ll go out of their way to make you feel bad, even causing arguments or giving you the silent treatment.

6. Gaslighting and Shifting Blame

Gaslighting is a common form of emotional abuse, and it occurs when your partner makes you question your reality. An example of this is when they blame you for their hurtful behaviors, accusing you of making them upset.

They might tell you that what you witnessed or experienced didn’t happen or that it happened differently. An abusive partner will often tell you that you’re crazy and that other people lie to you.

7. An Emotionally Abusive Partner Will Hold You to An Impossible Standard

It’s not wrong to have high standards in a relationship, but they should be attainable. It’s a red flag if your partner makes you feel like they’re holding you to an impossible standard. You might notice that they ridicule you or make you feel inadequate for not reaching those ideals, even if you tried your best.

This situation is a sign that your partner doesn’t want you to reach the goal so that they can make you feel bad about yourself. It allows them to gain more control over your life, making you feel like you did them wrong.

8. They Control Your Social Media Accounts

It’s not a good sign if your partner has opinions about what you can post on your social media accounts. They’ll monitor the account, too, noticing every interaction you have. If they tell you what you can and cannot post, they’re shaming you and taking control.

9. They Only Prioritize Their Needs

Your partner’s needs are essential, but they shouldn’t always come before yours. If you’re putting your needs last every day, it’s time to change. Your partner should be putting you first sometimes, too.

An abusive partner might want you to stop what you’re doing to do what they want or need. You should be allowed to have time to yourself to do whatever you wish to, despite what your partner says they need.

10. They Use Manipulation and Ultimatums

An emotionally abusive partner might manipulate you to do what they want or stay with them when you want to leave. They often threaten self-harm, suicide, or harming someone else, making you afraid to go.

Abusive partners also threaten to withhold finances or other needs to gain control over your life. They’ll also threaten blackmail, forcing you to meet their requirements.

11. An Emotionally Abusive Partner Doesn’t Support You

An emotionally abusive person likely isn’t supportive. They might put you down, criticize your accomplishments, and make you question yourself every step of the way. This hurtful behavior is their way of making you feel inferior, and it takes a toll on your self-esteem.

An emotionally abusive partner often behaves this way because they don’t feel good about their aspirations and goals. They project their feelings onto you, wanting you to feel as bad as they do.

12. You Feel Like You Don’t Know Them Anymore

When you first enter a relationship, your partner puts on a show. They make you think they’re all the things you want in a relationship, only to change gradually. The abuse starts as subtle signs and intensifies with each instance. You’ll eventually feel like you don’t recognize them as they’re nothing like when you first started dating.

13. They Don’t Appreciate You

You can do everything they ask, and an abusive partner will still make it seem like you didn’t do enough. It’s a sign of abuse when you only put in time and effort for your partner to be unappreciative. Continually taking advantage of you this way shows that they don’t care about your time or what you do for them.

Final Thoughts on Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Partner

If you recognize any of the signs of an emotionally abusive partner, it’s time to make a change in your life. You deserve a healthy relationship with someone who values you and likes you for who you are.

It might be hard to walk away, but you’ll soon find happiness in your newfound freedom. Don’t continue putting your time and energy into a relationship that doesn’t make you feel good.

The Community

Our Free Community of Positively Powerful SuperFans

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!