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6 Hidden Causes of Trauma

October 11, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Everyone has some damage in their life they must overcome, but have you ever considered all the causes of trauma? While some folks don’t want to go looking for hidden issues as they wish to keep emotional peace, the purpose is to uncover what’s behind your painful feelings so that you can heal.

You can’t fix a problem you can’t see, and you can’t heal from an issue you’ve yet to identify. While the trauma you’ve experienced is hidden and invisible to the world, the side effects it causes you are not so obscured. Regardless of what or who hurt you, you must know that there is help and hope for your future.

Understanding the Hidden Cause Trauma

Trauma is a response to an event that deeply disturbed you. It overwhelmed your emotional state and ability to cope, leaving you hopeless or helpless. It changed the way you think, as it altered your emotions.

You must understand that trauma is not an experience or event that happened to you, as much as it is the aftereffects. Two people can be involved in car accidents and be severely injured, yet one will develop a fear of being in the car and have anxiety just thinking about it. The other one will have no qualms about jumping in an automobile because they realize it was a mere accident. A reliable San Francisco Car Accident Lawyer can help navigate the legal complexities, ensuring you receive the support needed to address both physical recovery and emotional trauma effectively. Severely damaged cars can still be sold to Car’s Cash For Junk Clunkers at 2550 Catamaran Way, Chula Vista, CA 91914 (619) 489-2207 and get cash for cars.

Though both people went through the same thing, their responses were different. The University of Colorado’s Lyda Hill Institute for Human Resilience defines trauma as a muddled mental or behavioral condition resulting from psychological or emotional damage or bodily harm. It’s something that happens deep in your soul that leaves a mark.

Since so many traumas hide beneath the surface, their pain or effects occasionally seep into the forefront of life. For instance, you may watch a sad movie that triggers a memory. It makes you cry because your emotional state isn’t the best.

Trauma is very personal, and keeping it hidden creates a big problem. It will not disappear on its own, and when it’s ignored, it still screams silently inside. Your healing can begin when you hear these screams and pay attention to the causes of trauma and the pain it brings.

Identifying Six Hidden Causes of Trauma in Your Life

Uncovering the hidden causes of trauma in your life is the best place to begin. Here are six types that psychologists identify commonly.

1. Childhood Neglect (the most frequent causes of trauma)

Childhood neglect is a prevalent issue that leaves scars on the heart. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, an estimated 550,000 cases are reported each year. Sadly, four children will die each day in the United States of America due to neglect.

This one is different from the other trauma causes, as it occurs because something didn’t happen. For instance, a child is emotionally or physically neglected because their parent doesn’t attend to their needs. Each kid is unique and has specific requirements.

When the parent doesn’t respond in a way that satisfies these needs, it creates neglect. Sometimes the adult doesn’t see what’s happening to the child, especially if they have many children. However, the child fell through the cracks. In many instances, neglect comes with abuse.

When a child doesn’t have their needs fulfilled, it leaves a hole in their memory, and they can’t recall certain events. It’s challenging to heal from something that you can’t even remember.

2. Repressive Wound

Some people can be authoritative and firm but still kind, but others are overbearing bullies. One of the causes of trauma can be someone you loved who bullies you. This can happen on the job, at home, or in a relationship.

3. Unhealed Core Wounds

While all causes of trauma can be hard to handle, this one can be tough. No matter how often a person addresses the issues of trauma in their life, the root remains.

An unhealed core is where someone doesn’t know what happened to them. They may have blocked out events to protect themselves, so they must do some soul searching and find out what happened so that they can heal from it.

4. Dismissive

Dismissive trauma is a condition where a person won’t acknowledge or validate what happened to them. There are many reasons this might occur, such as fear of repercussions if they confront the person, place, or thing or don’t want to appear weak to others.

The trauma has been with them for so long that they start to perceive it as a regular part of their life, as it’s all they’ve ever known. Someone might have told them to suck it up and get over it, so it was dismissed as unimportant.

If anyone in their life has invalidated the things they’ve been through, it can cause them to bury the pain deep within and not address it. When considering the kinds of trauma, dismissal is one of the ones that many people fight.

5. Generational Causes of Trauma

Generational causes of trauma are hidden but real. These feelings pass down from one generation to another. It’s divided into two categories, transgenerational and intergenerational. For instance, a man whose father beat him as a punishment might think this is an acceptable way to punish a child.

Although, the punishment leaves marks on the body and soul. Therefore, abused people often go on to be abusive to their children. It’s also why many children raised by alcoholics develop substance abuse disorders.

6. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD

According to the National Library of Medicine, post-traumatic stress disorder is when a person encounters a disturbing, scary, or even dangerous experience. Everyone will experience the fight or flight feelings at some point in life, but the person who develops PTSD can’t stop relieving this event when triggered.

The discovery of this anxiety disorder heightened after WWII when people came home “shell-shocked” and altered from the disturbing things they observed. PTSD is very stigmatized and often misunderstood. Ironically, the article states that women suffer more from this condition than men, which was believed to be the other way around.

The issue is that women internalize stuff, whereas men are freer to get things off their chest. Internalizing trauma and not allowing those feelings to be processed can cause many issues.

Side Effects from Emotional Damage

The causes of trauma can cause many things to occur in your body. It alters your emotional state and the feelings you have towards everyday things. Here are some of the most common side effects that psychologists observe:

Trouble maintaining healthy relationships
Substance abuse tendencies
Anxiety disorders with intrusive thoughts
Depression and chronic despair
Eating disorders
Compulsive issues
Borderline or other personality disorders

Seven Habits to Heal Your Inner Wounds

Now that you’ve identified the causes of trauma and what you’re dealing with inside, it’s time to start the healing process. Here are a few ways to begin this journey towards a better you.

1. Accept Help and Support

You must reach out to others for help. This can include a counselor, trusted mentor, family member, or friend. The more you talk about it, the less power it has over you.

2. Attend a Support Group to Discuss the Causes of Trauma in a Safe Place

Finding a support group can help you uncover and process your feelings, whether online or in person. There’s power in numbers, and it helps to hear others talk about going through the same things.

3. Exercise and Physical Movement

Your mental and physical health will improve when you move more. Exercise releases those feel-good hormones you need to deal with such challenges.

4. Work With Your Feelings

Please don’t bury your feelings and hope that your emotional state will improve on its own. You must be proactive. Try journaling, meditation, yoga, and other forms that help to cleanse the mind, body, and spirit.

5. Practice Mindfulness Regarding Your Feelings

Learn to live in the moment. Stop looking behind you and missing out on the beautiful things around you.

6. Engage in Some Creative Thinking

It’s time to get your creative juices pumping. Some of the greatest songwriters started by putting their heart and soul down on paper and sharing it with the world.

7. Practice Self-Care

Treat yourself like the king or queen that you are in this life. If you’re tired, take a nap. Treat yourself to “me time,” where you pamper yourself and care for your needs. Your feelings and emotions will improve when you learn to engage in self-care.

Final Thoughts on Identifying Possible Causes of Trauma and Learning to Resolve the Feelings

Regardless of who or what hurt you, it’s time to start the healing process. The longer you leave these feelings and emotions deep inside unhandled, the longer they will continue to haunt you. Once you uncover your causes of trauma, the real work begins.

It’s time to begin the next chapter of your life by putting down the baggage that you’ve exhausted yourself by carrying. No, what happened to you wasn’t right, but you don’t have to keep bringing this with you for the rest of your life. Today is a good day to start the healing journey.

10 Ways to Set Proactive Boundaries Before Someone Hurts You

October 11, 2022 by Chris Butler

Why is it crucial to be proactive when establishing personal and professional boundaries? The celebrated poet Robert Frost once observed that good fences make good neighbors. The sooner other people see your fence line, the better.

What are the Five Types of Boundaries?

Your parents taught and enforced basic guidelines to protect you. As you got older, you added some of your own according to your preferences. These are the five basic categories of personal perimeters.

1. Physical

Imagine that you are encased in an invisible bubble. The size of everyone’s bubble varies according to their comfort zone. It represents your body, personal space, and privacy.

2. Intimacy

These are your standards for the intimate touch and conversations you expect or find uncomfortable. When you say “no,” or “enough,” you mean what you say, and there should be no questions.

3. Emotional

Some people are reserved and aren’t comfortable with self-disclosure. Maybe you’ll only share your feelings with your partner and the people in your circle, or you may gradually take your time and reveal your inner emotions.

4. Intellectual

It takes trust and confidence for you to share your deepest thoughts and ideas with another person. If someone ignores you and acts like your thoughts are trivial and foolish, they’re not respecting your intellectual guidelines.

5. Financial

Here’s a standard that can get tricky when it involves family and close friends. Your money is your business, and you have the right to manage it as you choose. While you are generous, one of your standards may be that you rarely, if ever, loan money.

People who respect your relationship rules won’t even ask. They understand that these are the guidelines you’ve established. Those who insist on loans or are nosey about your finances have no regard for you or the relationship.

10 Ways to Be Proactive with Your Boundaries

Do you want to save time and frustration in personal and professional relationships? Let them know where you stand first, and there’ll be less confusion. Here are twelve ways to help you get on the right path.

1. Set Your Boundaries Early in the Relationship

Being proactive with your boundaries can help you minimize any misunderstandings from the start. Of course, you don’t want to spout off a bunch of rules and regulations the moment you meet a potential love interest. However, establishing your perimeters early is essential if it progresses into a relationship.

Misunderstandings and hurt feelings will be less likely, and you’ll know where you stand. People respect you more in personal or professional relationships when you have standards. Please don’t wait until someone crosses a line before you draw it.

2. Begin with Smaller Ones

It’s easy to become overwhelmed when you start with a hefty list of dos and don’ts. You may find it less stressful if you start with smaller boundaries, especially if you don’t have many in place.

You can still be proactive and go at your own pace. Eventually, you keep perimeters that work and discard ones that don’t suit you. These standards will probably evolve as your relationship does.

3. Reflect on How Your Boundaries Benefit You

The whole idea of having boundaries is to protect your heart and dignity. Once you’ve established some basic rules, you have time to reflect on them. You know what and who, but you must also know the whys.

Have toxic or traumatic experiences in the past negatively affected your perimeters? Perhaps you’ve drawn your circle so small that nobody can fit into your life anymore. If your standards aren’t benefiting you, it’s time to discover why they aren’t working.

4. Be Consistent

The only way to be genuine and transparent in any relationship is to be consistent. If you establish a set of rules for one day, they should be the same daily.

For example, you’ve been proactive and clarified that you don’t want to move in together for a while. You may give mixed signals if you begin rearranging your significant other’s furniture. Make sure you’re transparent with them; never say one thing and do another.

5. Don’t Allow Social Media to Blur Them

Until the start of the internet, couples chatted on landline phones when they weren’t meeting face-to-face. They also sent greeting cards and love letters by post when their lover was away. Now, relationships can develop quickly with smartphones and other electronic devices.

Couples can instantly message their lover throughout the day. While social media can be an exceptional communication tool, it has its downfalls.

You don’t want personal information and every photo splashed over the Internet. Social media can often blur your parameters unless you take a stand. Be proactive and let your partner know if anything crosses the line, digital or not.

6. Be Comfortable with Saying “No” While Setting Boundaries

According to an article published by the Greater Good Science Center, being a chronic people-pleaser doesn’t benefit you. Helping others isn’t the same as trying to please them. While you’re trying to satisfy everyone, you’re neglecting your own needs and wants.

The easiest way to stop trying to please people is a polite but firm “no.” There will always be worthy causes and individuals who need a hand. How often have you been hit with a request to do something because nobody else will do it?

If folks see you as a pushover, you’ll forever be asked to chair committees, contribute money, and babysit for free. Do yourself a favor and be judicious with your time, money, and resources. Stop permitting people to walk all over you; you must learn to say “no.”

When you set limitations on what you will and won’t do, you’ll be free to be involved in projects you genuinely enjoy. You want to be compassionate and help your friends and family in need. Remember that you are an occasional helping hand, not a permanent crutch.

7. Gain a Healthy Perspective

Your perimeters are meant as guidelines and not chains. Don’t be so dogmatic with them that you can’t breathe. Building too many walls may keep you safer, but they inevitably make you a self-imposed prisoner.

It’s easy to overthink your safety zone when you’ve been in an abusive or toxic situation. You may be hypervigilant and suspicious of everyone who crosses your path. How can you revise your standards while keeping your safety and dignity intact?

An article published by Harvard Medical School explains that concentration meditation can help you gain focus and clarity. Journaling is also a beneficial tool for discovering new perspectives. Many people also find that therapy can help them review and sort their boundaries.

8. Maintain Open Communication

How can anybody know your perimeters unless you tell them? Mind reading may be a fun carnival trick, but it doesn’t work in real life. If you want people to respect you, let them know how you expect to be treated.

Be proactive and discuss your boundaries in a personal or professional relationship. Effective communication is especially crucial with your mate. Share frequent and meaningful conversations about each other’s thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

Since communication is a two-way street, each side speaks and listens. You don’t want to just “hear” each other. Active listening takes time to consider what’s being said and empathize with the speaker’s emotions. Don’t forget to ask for clarifications to lessen the chances of a misunderstanding.

9. Add to Your Basic List as Needed

Relationships mature just like people, and your perimeters may need to widen. You may not have foreseen some situations or see things differently. Either way, you can clarify them or revise them as needed.

The same can be said of your professional relationship with co-workers. There are probably set guidelines that everyone follows out of respect for each other. However, you can add different perimeters to maintain your comfort and self-esteem.

10. Respect Other People’s Boundaries

You can’t expect other people to respect your wishes if you don’t respect theirs. When you do, you prove that you’re a respectful and trustworthy person. It can strengthen your relationships at home, work, and public.

The best way to provide mutual respect is to listen to each other. You accept each other as you are without pushing for changes. Everyone is an individual, and you respect their right to autonomy. Instead of pointing out everyone’s flaws, work on your shortcomings.

Final Thoughts on Being Proactive with Your Boundaries

You are responsible for creating and enforcing your standards. While compromise is part of any healthy relationship, nobody should ask you to give in to these things. Be your advocate, teach people how you want to be treated, and show them the same courtesy.

10 Ways to Stand Up For Yourself (And When You Should)

October 11, 2022 by Power of Positivity

Conventional wisdom says it’s vital that you stand up for yourself. You may feel you’re not a strong person. How can you be assertive when you need to? Here are ten ways to stand up for yourself when you should.

What’s the difference between assertive and aggressive?

These two words get confused, but there’s a big difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Here’s a brief breakdown of both terms.

Aggressive: Disrespectful, angry, pushy, “You” statements, attack mode to get something
Assertive: Respect, but firm, open conversation, open but stand your ground, “I” statements.

When you stand up for yourself, you must be assertive rather than aggressive. You may know people who act aggressively at work or school. Here are some signs you’ve moved from assertiveness to aggressiveness. Aggressive people engage in these behaviors:

Bully
Exclude others
Gossip
Purposely ignore people
Can’t calm down
Hit
Yell
Threaten

10 Ways to Stand Up For Yourself (And How to Know When You Should)

When you stand up for yourself and find you’re getting aggressive, be sure to reach out for help. It could show you are suffering from psychological issues from some past trauma.

1 – Be clear about what you want

People aren’t mind-readers. It would help if you said what you need or want. Speaking up for yourself means you use your voice so others can understand you. Say precisely what you want, don’t dance around the issue. Use “I” statements instead of “You” words because they sound aggressive. Examples of “I” statements include:

I think
I feel
I’d like
I prefer
I would prefer

It may take some getting used to, but as you learn to express yourself clearly and honestly, you find people respond to you better. They know you’re an honest, authentic person. They also know you won’t let them take advantage of you.

2 – Stand up for yourself by correcting someone when needed

If you need to bring up a matter with someone, arrange a time to talk to them privately. This allows you to prepare what you want to say. You can respectfully package your message rather than blurting out what you want to say on the spur of the moment. It’s uncomfortable to correct people, but it’s often necessary. Here are some suggestions for speaking up and fixing others when needed.

Honestly, point out something they’re doing well.
Take an indirect approach using the word “and” to start the conversation about a criticism.
Share your own mistakes in this area, but don’t turn the conversation on to you. It’s about what they did. You don’t need to apologize for correcting them. Admitting your own mistakes emphasizes you know you’re not perfect.
Ask them questions. Direct the questions, so they admit their own mistakes. This is always better than you giving them a direct order, which may come across as aggressive.
Be aware of their feelings. Let them save face in this situation by showing them you value them. Make sure they don’t feel punished, but you advise them on changing their behavior.
When you see improvement, be sure to praise them. Even a slight movement towards what you advised is significant.

3 – Avoid being self-righteous

If you’re in a situation where you don’t speak up, you may end up sitting on your feelings. Think of a situation where someone doesn’t keep their end of a bargain, so you jump in and do it. All the while, you’re making sarcastic remarks about how you knew they wouldn’t do it. This passive-aggressive attitude never works. Even though you’re right, it’s self-righteous to use sarcasm to belittle the person. There’s a good chance you’ve done something similar in your life. Try to be deliberate and tell the person how you feel about what happened. Don’t accuse, but share honestly.

4 – Say no

Sometimes you need to stand up for your time by saying “no.” It’s easy to get pulled into commitments. If you say yes a lot, you’ll get a reputation as the person who will do everything. You’re always expected to bring the snacks for your kid’s class when the teacher doesn’t ask other parents. This request is a sure sign you need to speak up for your time. The next time they ask for something, you can say one of these:

Let me think about it and get back to you.
I need to check my calendar. Then I’ll let you know
No, I’m busy that day.
Sorry, but I have too much going on then.

Don’t apologize for saying no or feel obligated. Contribute where you need to, but otherwise, say no when you need to.

5 – Practice confident words before it’s time to stand up for yourself

Researchers say that being confident takes preparation. Standing up for yourself takes practice. You won’t learn to be a strong person overnight. Over time, you’ll grow in self-confidence and assertiveness. Even when you’re not confident, it’s okay to pretend. Practice certain situations at home in front of your mirror to gain more confidence. Work on being relaxed and comfortable speaking up for yourself. Don’t focus on your feelings, but think about what you need to say.

6 – Body language

Pay attention to your body language when you’re standing up for yourself. Practice doing these things

Lean forward: When you’re talking to people, lean in and focus on them.
Don’t slouch: Stand tall in a relaxed way.
Be relaxed and attentive: Don’t look bored or as if you’re ready to walk away. Stop and give the person your full attention.
Put your hands in your pocket: This conveys that you’re relaxed and confident.
Smile normally: Don’t smile too big but in a friendly way.

7 – Learn when to speak up

As assertiveness grows, you’ll learn to pick your battles with people. Sometimes it’s not worth it to stand up for yourself. Someone may say something, but you realize it was a rare moment and not worth mentioning. Part of learning how to stand up for yourself is knowing when to speak up and be quiet. This discernment means you learn how to read people and understand how to handle different situations.

8 – Don’t apologize when you must stand up for yourself

If you need to ask your roommate to help you clean up the house, speak straightforwardly, saying something like,

I need help cleaning up the house, but I can’t do it alone. Would you please clean the living room while I clean the kitchen?

Don’t apologize. Be clear and specific. Stand up for yourself respectfully but firmly. Of course, there’s no guarantee your roommate will agree. If this is the case, you may need to consider getting a new roommate who will share the responsibilities of the apartment.

9 – Set boundaries

Setting boundaries helps you stand up for yourself and helps others understand how to treat you. Boundaries display self-respect. This could mean asking your boss to please ask you before putting extra work on your desk. Or it could mean telling your co-worker you don’t like the nickname they call you. Be respectful and relaxed but firm. Standing up for yourself doesn’t need to be a dramatic event, but a simple,

Hey, you’re a funny person, but I’m not too fond of that nickname. Please don’t call me that anymore.

This simple but clear message will help your co-worker know how to treat you. Your boss will realize they should communicate with you before putting extra work on your desk. Once you set boundaries, if people continue to do these things, you may need to speak up for yourself again to reiterate your expectations.

10 – You can stand up for yourself by walking away

When you speak up for yourself, not everyone will like it. There will be people who get angry and attack you. They may try to manipulate you or push you to do something you refuse. They may guilt you or even bully you. Please don’t get upset by them. Stay calm and don’t react to their anger. Please don’t give in to their bullying, but stand your ground. If they’re pressing you, say something like,

You know, I will not change my mind on this. Let’s end this conversation.

If the person continues, walk away. Collect your thoughts and schedule a meeting with them. Invite another person to join you, so you’re not alone with the person who attacked you.

Final thoughts on knowing how and when to stand up for yourself

Standing up for yourself takes practice, but you can learn to speak up respectfully but firmly to people. Expressing what you need clearly and humbly helps people better understand you. Learning to say no instead of accepting everything you’re asked to do is another simple way to stand up for yourself. Each of these simple practices will help you learn how to help yourself and how to help the people around you.

20 Small Habits to Help You Reach Big Goals

October 10, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Why is it that old habits die hard? Inevitably, people resist change, even if they establish big goals for themselves. Try getting up at 5 am after your body has become accustomed to an 8 am wakeup, and you will find It would be easier to wake a sleeping bear from hibernation.

You’re a creature of habit, and adopting a new routine can be exhausting. Thankfully, you have the power within yourself to make such changes, but you must be willing to put in a little work. The issue is that many people become so overwhelmed by the big picture that they don’t see that it all starts with a tiny step.

Twenty Small Habits That Can Help You Make Big Changes

There is a compounding effect that small habits can make on your big goals. Since society has programmed your mind to have instant gratification, hacks, and quick fixes, it will take some real work. However, if society had an accurate view of things, everyone would be physically fit, wealthy, and happy.

The bad habits you’ve learned might not influence you right now, but they can significantly impact your future. Think of it this way; that double cheeseburger and French fries taste way better than a salad for dinner, but the long-term rewards outweigh the instant pleasure. Here are some small habits that can help you reach your big goals.

1. Say Daily Affirmations to Motivate You to Reach Those Big Goals

Any goals you set for yourself will be met with negativity and plenty of resistance. However, you can start your day by quoting daily affirmations. The National Library of Medicine published a study where affirmations were used to help folks stop smoking.

After a six-week trial, 97.5 percent of those who regularly did their daily affirmations had stopped smoking. It proves that you can rewire your brain with a bit of work and some determination.

2. Keep Your Environment Clean

Being productive and living or working in a chaotic environment is impossible. Not only is the chaos distracting, but it can also be very stressful to navigate. Remember the old motto that everything has a place and should be in its place.

Take a few minutes to clean up each day, and you will see it significantly impacts your productivity.

3. Track Your Costs

Do you throw caution to the wind and spend frivolously? If your goals have financial backing, you must be accountable for every penny. Writing down how much you spend and what you’re spending it on can help you in all areas of life.

Thankfully, many computer applications will do this for you, which makes the job much easier.

4. Take the Farthest Parking Spot (You can’t reach those big goals in poor health!)

If your goal is to lose weight, you’re not going to lose an ounce until you change your habits. Weight loss is one of the big goals, but parking in the furthest parking spots will get you moving more. Incorporating simple stuff like this can have a significant impact.

5. Plan Your Days

It’s hard to know what will happen daily, but you must schedule the allotted time to achieve your goals. Scheduling helps you prioritize things and make sure you’re making progress.

6. Go Outside to Boost Your Mood and Reflect on the Big Goals

It would help if you had the power of the sunshine to help boost your mood. The sun also provides an ample dose of Vitamin D, which your body needs. Don’t stay cooped up behind four walls all day. You can enhance your overall outlook by spending time in nature.

7. Create a Bedtime Routine

How do you expect to be productive the next day if you’re not getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night? Your body needs sleep to repair damage caused by free radicals during the day. Make sleep a top priority to reach any goals you’ve set.

8. Unsubscribe to Junk Emails

If you’re like most people, your inbox is overloaded with junk mail. It can be very daunting to wake up to hundreds of emails that have no importance. Take a few minutes and go through and block all the spam, as it will make you feel much better with fewer emails to filter.

9. Complete Your Hardest Task First

Most people procrastinate and leave the most challenging things for last. However, getting the most daunting tasks off your plate first gives you momentum to easily conquer the rest of the day.

10. Downsize Big Goals Into Smaller Bits

Remember English class when you were given a huge book to read? If you looked at the 1,000 pages, it might be terrifying to attempt this feat. However, if you divide the pages by the thirty-day goal, you only need to read 33 pages a day.

Stop looking at the big picture and becoming so overwhelmed by it that you’re frozen. Break it down into smaller, even daily bits, and you can accomplish any big goals you set for yourself.

11. Outsource Whenever Possible

Look at the successful men and women running significant corporations daily. These are busy people, and do you think they do everything themselves? Of course not! These folks have learned how to delegate to others.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed; remember that you can’t do everything yourself. If you want to reach your goals, you need a strong team behind you, helping you do the work and rooting for you.

12. Meditate Each Day

Meditation helps you to alleviate stress as well as improve your overall focus. It’s also shown to reduce tension in the body that can significantly impact your health.

Did you know that meditation can also help fight memory loss at an older age? According to studies conducted by UC Davis Health, meditation is the key to keeping dementia at bay.

13. Reward Yourself for Small Milestones Along the Path to the Big Goals

If you want to reach the big things, then you must learn to celebrate the small victories. Taking a moment to recognize your efforts will give you the momentum you need to keep going. Many people don’t follow through with goals because they burn out, they have too many to focus on just one, or they doubt their abilities.

15. Sit up Straight

It sounds silly to say that you need to sit straight to reach your goals, but is that ridiculous? Your posture has a significant bearing on your overall wellness. You reduce muscle pain from overuse disorders and improve your drive by improving your posture.

How much better do you feel when you’re sitting up nice and tall rather than slouching and feeling miserable?

16. Return Any Missed Calls and Texts

Proper communication is vital when you’re working on goals. It’s respectful to the party who contacted you to respond and shows good business skills. Even when you don’t have a moment to spare, take the time to reach out to people who need to reach you.

17. Get Rid of Something

Remember what was said above about a clean space? Well, try donating or getting rid of something each day. It can be a small item, but you will feel great pairing down and decluttering your world.

Plus, taking inventory of what you have and getting rid of things will help you think twice before making purchases you don’t need.

18. Practice Active Listening

Active listening is hard, especially when trying to do many things simultaneously. Have you ever talked to your spouse, and they appeared to be listening, but they didn’t know what you were saying to them? This happens when people zone out and aren’t actively listening to what you’re saying.

In all conversations, put down the phone, turn off the music, and genuinely listen to the other person. It’s essential in the business world as well as your personal one.

19. Do Random Acts of Kindness

Spreading joy never hurt anyone? Plus, you feel better when you’re giving back and helping others. To reach big goals, you need to start by reducing the negativity in the world to allow positivity to flow through.

20. Dress for Success, as if You Already Reached Your Big Goals

Who knew your clothes could significantly impact your success? Don’t dress for the position you want; rather, you should dress for the position you desire. When folks perceive you as management material, it can help you achieve these goals. Dressing for success will also help improve your self-confidence too.

Final Thoughts on Small Habits Helping You To Reach Big Goals

Your life reflects the choices you have made. If you want to alter something, then you must start with your everyday decisions. To reach your big goals, alter your choices, stop making excuses, and replicating small mistakes.

By incorporating some of these habits listed above, you can make your future brighter than you ever imagined.

8 Great Ways to Start a Conversation

October 10, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Meeting new people can be intimidating, especially when no one’s there to introduce you. Finding the right words to start a conversation on the right foot is pretty tough. And trying to hold a meaningful or at least exciting conversation after that is even harder!

The key to initiating and maintaining a conversation is a strong beginning from which others can build. Of course, that’s easier said than done. Sometimes you’re just standing there, mind reeling and blank, desperately trying to come up with something! If you tend to be nervous in social situations

There’s no shame in memorizing a few openers that can lead to excellent conversation. Many people have go-to lines that they’ve found work best for them. A good opening subject will allow people to share their thoughts openly, possibly leading to deeper topics.

There are plenty of reasons you might need a good discussion opener. Maybe you’re trying to make new friends, fit in better at a social group, or get acclimated to a new work environment. Perhaps you’re even trying to start a conversation with strangers or engage more with those around you daily. Maybe you spend a lot of time meeting new people and want to network with them well. No matter the reason, here are eight great ways to start a conversation.

1. Start A Conversation By Talking About The Weather

Are you rolling your eyes at this suggestion? You shouldn’t be! There’s a reason this is one of the most common openers. It’s one of the most trusted great ways to start a conversation.

Sure, it sounds a little shallow and is a small talk opener. But studies have shown that people prefer innocuous openings when strangers have conversations with them. This is especially true for people approaching with romantic intentions, but it applies to everyone.

Small talk subjects aren’t deep, but they’re safe. They’re an innocent, simple, quickly relatable way to initiate conversation in a non-threatening way. Going the safe route can sometimes be a good option when trying to start talking to a stranger! Add extra detail for the other person to latch onto to make things more interesting.

For example, you can say:

“I love this cloudy weather we’re having. It makes gardening much more comfortable!”
“It’s a hot day. Do you know where I can get some water?”
“It seems quite gloomy today, but I’ve heard forecasts say it’ll be much brighter tomorrow.”

2. Ask For Assistance to Start A Conversation

Asking questions is always an excellent way to start a conversation. Combine that with asking someone for help, and you’ve got a real winner! People love to be helpful, and your request will allow them to engage with you more closely. It’ll also likely lead to other discussions. You can ask questions like:

“Do you know what time the bus gets here?”
“Have you seen a keychain around here? I seem to have lost mine!”
“Would you happen to know if there will be refreshments served after this?”
“Could I please borrow your pen for a minute?”

The trick is to ask for something relatively simple. You don’t want to ask for complicated assistance that will take too much effort. This ensures the person will be able to provide that aid and still continue the conversation.

Interestingly, a mutual social understanding comes from accepting help from someone. They’ve given you support, and now you thank them and take the first step in introducing yourself. This will provide you with the chance to ask additional opening questions naturally. That’s why this is one of the best great ways to start a conversation!

3. Ask Someone To Tell You About Themselves To Break The Ice

It’s OK to have a little small talk now and then. But you should go deeper than that for great ways to start a conversation. Studies show that people are happier when they get to have more meaningful and personal conversations.

The simple phrase “tell me about yourself” is an excellent, open-ended start to an amazing conversation. It also gives the other person additional comfort, letting them determine what they share. Conversation can flow and evolve naturally from here.

4. Give A Compliment To Start A Good Conversation

Compliments are great ways to start a conversation. A sincere word of praise can go a long way. It can make people open up to talking to you. Sure, you’re buttering them up, but who doesn’t like feeling nice about themselves? Please mention that you were impressed by their performance or the capability they showcased to break the ice.

It’s worth noting that compliments can be a little bit tricky. You don’t want to come across as unintentionally flirtatious, for example. As such, avoid compliments that are based on someone’s physical appearance. These can make people uncomfortable. Alternatively, if you offer an appearance-based bit of praise, you can mention your partner to clarify your proper intent.

5. Comment On Something Positively To Start A Conversation

Most great ways to start a conversation involve the use of positivity. That’s because positivity begets more of itself! For example, you can say:

“This food is delicious, don’t you think?”
“I love this weather that we’re having!”
“Your performance was amazing. I’d love to hear how you prepared!”
“Did you go to that workshop? It was great!”

When you start a conversation based on something positive, you present yourself as pleasant. People will want to talk to you because you radiate friendly energy. You’ll encourage them to join in and feel much more at ease. You’ll increase your chances of a pleasant, long conversation.

Sometimes, making complaints or saying something negative can work as a conversation starter. That’s especially true in difficult situations that you’re sharing with someone. But opt for positivity over negativity if you want to ensure a healthy, happy discussion.

6. Say Something Funny For A Lighter Discussion

One of the great ways to start a conversation is through humor! Experts have pointed out how humor lightens the atmosphere, relieves tension, and helps stress levels.

If you can use humor to start a conversation, you’ll ease some of the existing awkwardness. Laughter makes people comfortable, and that’s always promising when initiating discussion. On top of that, you’ll get to show your fun side! You can do this in the following ways:

· Tell A Joke

Whether it’s an extended joke you’ve memorized or a simple one-liner, jokes are the go-to way to be funny. Try to steer clear of more risque or “dark humor” jokes about sensitive topics! Most people aren’t comfortable hearing those kinds of jokes from total strangers.

· Tell A Funny Story

A funny story allows you to talk about something more personal than general small talk. You’d be surprised how much people can connect over stories! Just try and keep the story relatively short so you can allow the other person to tell their own story, too. It’s a beautiful way to bond.

· Make Light Of A Shared Situation

If you’re in a weird situation with strangers, you can initiate a conversation by making a joke about that shared event. Shared concerns tend to bring people naturally closer together, breaking down typical barriers. Use that to your advantage, and good humor will do the rest!

7. Ask For An Opinion

Asking someone for an opinion indicates that you value and respect what they say. Lots of people enjoy feeling that their thoughts matter! It allows you to connect with them with a foundation of mutual respect.

Opting for relevant topics when asking for opinions is a good idea. Sudden, out-of-the-blue questions can be jarring, and you don’t know if that person knows much about random topics! Stick to things that are relatable and workable. Here are some examples of things you can say.

“How do you like the food at that new cafe?”
“Is that (brand) lotion? Does it work well?”
“I was thinking of going to that class! How did you find it?”
“What did you think of that movie?”
“Which of these books do you most recommend?”

It’s also a good idea to continually ask a discussion partner for their opinion after you state yours. This keeps the conversation flowing and can create some great moments and insights.

8. Mention A Shared Experience To Start A Conversation

One of the quickest great ways to start a conversation is by bringing up something that already links you. A shared experience can give you a lot to talk about all at once and create a connection off of something solid. It gives you a common ground to build from.

Try to use the current situation to determine some easy-to-spot common ground. That will further help the flow of a conversation. Examples of topics that might be relevant are:

The place where you grew up
School you attended
The place where you work
Mutual acquaintance
Hobbies or interests

Final Thoughts On Some Great Ways To Start A Conversation

Conversations are the building block for facilitating bonds, creating connections, and building relationships. It can be a little nerve-wracking to try and initiate these dialogues, but the payoff tends to be pretty rewarding. Better yet, it’s not as hard to do as many make it out to be!

It’s incredible how much can blossom from an innocuous and positively phrased statement. Something as simple as commenting on the weather or requesting help can lead to so much more. Knowing some great ways to start a conversation will ensure that you can hold your own in any social environment.

Still nervous about initiating conversation? Studies have indicated that people like you more than you think. Most people worry about what their conversation partner thinks of them more than they make their judgments. This interesting phenomenon is called the “liking gap,” which applies to virtually every situation.

Don’t fret too much about what someone thinks of you! Most of those you meet will be happy to start a conversation. Many of them are trying to find a way to do that, too. They might be as anxious as you about it! You bridge gaps and make new acquaintances by taking the first step with a good conversation starter. Try it out and see for yourself!

Unique Artist Creates Works of Art From Hand-Lettered Quotes

October 10, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Macarena Chomik, a hand-lettering artist and illustrator from Argentina, creates unique works of art using hand-lettered quotes. She incorporates positive, motivational quotes and adorable floral backgrounds into her artwork. Here’s her story about how she got started and what inspires her beautiful creations.

“I began my creative journey about four and a half years ago when, by chance, I stumbled across this article that said: ‘Learn calligraphy in five simple steps.’ Well, let’s just say I followed the steps, I loved the result, and a couple months later, I created my Instagram account due to a friend’s suggestion, and well, here I am,” Macarena says.

She now has over 40k followers on Instagram and even sells art prints, stickers, and calendars on Etsy! Macarena also offers a digital planner featuring her hand-lettered quotes and floral printed artwork. While it’s nice to earn money doing what she loves, Macarena says it’s a creative outlet, more importantly.

“I now create art in order to relax. It is my hobby, and there’s nothing I love to do more. I have to admit though, that it’s not as relaxing when it turns into work, but it is still incredibly rewarding.”

Much of her artwork features nature themes, including flowers, animals, beaches, and outer space. For example, one of her pieces shows someone fishing on a boat in the ocean. Under the water, you see jellyfish, turtles, coral, fish, and whales. The hand-lettered quote says: “Sometimes in the waves of change, we find our true destination.”

Another adorable work of art features an alien spaceship, astronaut, rocket, and planets. The quote in the middle says, “Shine like the stars.” Macarena also enjoys forest-themed hand-lettered quote pieces. She created a whimsical forest that reminds us of Alice in Wonderland. It’s complete with mushrooms lining a pathway through the forest, songbirds, trees, and a girl having a picnic with a rabbit. In fact, you can tell she puts a lot of hard work into these masterpieces!

How she creates the works of art from hand-lettered quotes

First, like any artist, she sketches a general idea of what she wants the end product to look like. After having the background, hand-lettered quote, and the other details in mind, she creates the final piece. Then using watercolors, colored pencils, chalk markers, brush pens, and other supplies in her arsenal, she colors in the picture with vivid detail.

Finally, she adds shading, shadowing, and color to the quote to make it stand out. Some of her calligraphy is 3D, making it look like it pops right off the page! Macarena also uses an app called Procreate to design digital illustrations. She’s currently in school for graphic design to take her hobby to the next level.

She’s genuinely talented and pays excellent attention to detail with her artwork. You can see her progression over the years on her social media; it’s incredible how far she’s come! It just proves that following your passion can take you to places you never imagined. For an 18-year-old, she’s accomplished quite a lot in life so far.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Macarena Chomik (@mletteringlover)

Recently, she partnered with a wallpaper company to help with a design! She had this to say about the project:

“Working on this project was definitely challenging but also kind of a dream come true! Never before had I designed something of such dimensions, and to be able to see these designs come to life and actually be part of someone’s room is just unbelievable! Thank you Loomwell for giving me this opportunity!”

We’re excited to see where her dreams take her next! If you’d like to learn how to create your own art with hand-lettered quotes, she teaches a course on Skillshare. The online learning platform offers thousands of courses to learn everything from graphic design to photography to animation and more.

Macarena combines art with positivity to make the world a better place

Many artists draw inspiration from our natural world, including Macarena. She captures the beauty of nature on her sketchpad, creating stunning, original masterpieces teeming with life. Flowers seem to inspire her works of art the most.

“I find inspiration in nature and its diversity and uniqueness. I just love going through encyclopedias looking at all the different types of flowers. I mean, it’s crazy to think how there are endless types, many probably yet to be discovered,” Macarena says.

“I strive to combine these flowers with optimistic messages, to spread positivity. I believe that kindness is never wasted, and if I manage to brighten somebody else’s day, then my job is done.”

Creating a more positive world begins with each one of us, and Macarena contributes through art. Looking at positive messages can give strength and empowerment to someone going through a difficult time. The colorful, nature-filled background also adds to the cheery vibe, reminding anyone struggling of the simple beauty in life.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Macarena Chomik (@mletteringlover)

“For anyone who wants to start creating art, my advice would be to never give up. Practice makes perfect, so just keep going!” Macarena says. “Opportunities are out there waiting for you to grab them, so I know it sounds cliché, but do what you love; just do it. Just start and don’t think about it too much; you won’t regret it.”

Final thoughts on these unique works of art created from hand-lettered quotes.

We hope you enjoyed learning about how Macarena takes motivational quotes and turns them into works of art. So it is inspiring to see someone transform their hobby into a job that they’re passionate about! The artwork she creates spices up the hand-lettered quotes and makes a whimsical little world out of them. The quotes are the centerpiece, and the background pulls it all together.

Indeed, her artwork gives people hope and reminds them that they can create their own positivity in life. The pieces look beautiful as prints to hang on your wall or as stickers to place around your home.

Which of the pieces did you like best? Let us know in the comments!

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