8 Innovative Companies Offer Pawternity Leave to New Pet Parents

September 23, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

All pet parents know that getting a new puppy involves tremendous work. They may seem adorable and cuddly, but don’t let their innocent face fool you. A man’s best friend needs a lot of attention and discipline during puppyhood.

Adjusting to a different environment isn’t easy, especially for young puppies who recently separated from their mothers. Dogs need ample time to bond with their new pet parent to help them feel comfortable. Not to mention, fur babies require many hours of house training and socializing with other dogs.

Pet owners with full-time jobs may find it challenging to juggle raising a puppy with demanding careers. However, some progressive companies have decided to offer “pawternity leave” to help new pet parents.

Research from Petplan shows that 5% of U.K. pet owners have taken paid leave to care for their furry friends. Some companies allow employees to take a few hours off to settle their new family memebers. Others grant workers up to several weeks of paid leave, giving pet parents more bonding time.

Below, we’ll list a few innovative companies that have enacted “pawternity leave.” Perhaps this will provide you with ideas if you’re a pet parent!

Eight Forward-Thinking Companies That Give New Pet Parents Paid Time Off

1. Mars Petcare

Mars Petcare became one of the first companies to grant paternity leave to new pet parents. The company gives workers ten hours of paid leave when they adopt a new buddy. Employees can even bring their four-legged family member to work upon returning!

2. BitSol Solutions

In Manchester, England, tech company BitSol Solutions allows employees a week off after getting a puppy. In an interview with the Metro, company owner Greg Buchanan compared puppies to human babies. Workers get paid leave when they have a baby, so getting a dog shouldn’t be different.

3. Nina Hale

In 2018, Minneapolis marketing firm Nina Hale enacted a “fur-turnity leave” policy for pet parents. Vice President Allison McMenimen told the New York Times that it boosts morale and provides an incentive to stay with the company.

4. Mparticle (maybe one of the most generous to pet parents!)

If an employee adopts a rescue dog, the data platform provider Mparticle grants them two weeks off work. Laurel Peppino, a recruiter for the company, told The Times that paid leave offers pet parents an opportunity to bond with their dogs. The innovative business offers both maternity and paternity leave and considers dogs a member of the family also.

“We don’t discriminate just because they aren’t human,” she said.

5. Musti Group

This pet food company operates in Norway, Sweden, and Finland. The company offers employees three days off when they adopt a puppy, according to The Mercury News. CEO David Rönnberg believes that pawternity leave helps the company culture evolve.

“Adopting a pet is a significant decision and changes everyday life considerably. We want to support our employees during their first days with their new family members and ensure they can enjoy those precious moments to the fullest,” he said.

6. BrewDog

Scottish brewery company BrewDog offers new pet parents a week of paid leave. The company adores dogs and hopes to become the best company to work for in the world. They believe that giving employees a generous pawternity leave puts them further toward that goal.

7. HarperCollins Publishers India (HCI)

Employees at this India-based company get five business days of paid leave after adopting a new family member. The company aims to advocate for conscientious adoption with this policy.

“At HarperCollins, we want the very best of work-life balance for our colleagues, and that includes being mindful about their family needs,” CEO Ananth Padmanabhan told the Huffington Post. “Pet children need as much attention [as human children], if not more. We don’t want colleagues to worry about the number of leaves they have before deciding to start a family.”

In addition to pawternity leave, HCI will allow new pet parents to bring their puppies to work. After all, new pets often suffer from separation anxiety when owners leave during the day. The policy will benefit dogs and parents, as studies have proven the mental health benefits of bringing pets to work. The company created a custom area for pets to hang out while their parents work.

8. Zogics (very generous policy for new pet parents)

The Massachusetts-based industrial cleaning and safety supply company has a huge heart for dogs. Named one of the most pet-friendly companies in the United States, Zogics allows employees to bring their pets to work. New pet parents also receive paid leave, a $200 pet store gift card, and a lifetime supply of Zogics Pet Shampoo.

Other Companies Offer Pet Bereavement Leave to Pet Parents

Getting a new puppy brings so much joy to life, but it’s heart-wrenching when they eventually pass away. Many companies sympathize with their employees and offer pet bereavement leave after a pet dies. Since dogs are family members, too, companies believe workers should have an opportunity to grieve their death.

One of these progressive businesses includes Kimpton Hotels & Restaurants in San Francisco, which offers three days of paid leave. Mars Inc offers employees one day off and flexible hours; Rover gives workers three days of bereavement leave. It also provides paid time off for dog care and an open pet policy at the office.

Canadian company Shoppers Drug Mart allows workers a few days off if a family member passes away, which includes a furry one.

Final Thoughts on Companies That Offer Paid Leave to Pet Parents

Many companies have started giving pet parents time off to enjoy their new family members. Puppies require care and attention just like babies, especially in their first few months. Several companies have recognized this and created policies to help pet parents adjust to having a fur baby.

This leave ranges from a few hours off to several weeks, and some companies even offer pet store gift cards! Others allow companion animal bereavement leave after the death of a treasured furry friend.

Does your company offer any time off for adopting a new fur baby?

6 Signs of a Compulsive Spender Most People Don’t Realize

September 23, 2022 by Chris Butler

Many favorite pastimes can quickly turn into addictions. Consider gambling, overeating, or drug and alcohol use, to name a few compulsions. Ironically, not many consider the compulsive spender as part of this group. Someone who uses spending as a coping mechanism has an addiction, and it’s called oniomania.

Oniomania is a problem just as serious as overeating or using drugs. Though this issue is not an official disorder by the DSM-5 printed by the American Psychiatric Association, it’s a verifiable disorder that warrants a conversation. Overspending can cause a great deal of psychological and financial stress. Have you ever heard of people kiting checks?

Part of why few retailers take checks is because of people who scammed free merchandise. Though it’s much harder to accomplish these days, kiting checks was once a way to buy now and pay later. When the check bounced, they would pay the service fees, allowing them to shop and fix their need to spend urgently.

Kiting checks is just one trip that compulsive spenders use to get things to fill that rush, but other methods include running up credit cards, spending bill money, and borrowing from friends. Sadly, being addicted to shopping and spending money can be just as dangerous as taking cocaine. It all works by activating the pleasure receptors in the brain, and once your body feels pleasure, it will crave that feeling again.

Your Environment Contributes to Overspending

Have you ever heard someone say that you’re a product of your environment? This statement is true because you’re impacted by where you live and dwell. Living in a larger city may make you feel compelled to live a life well beyond your means.

Why does location matter?

In a city, someone can easily access stores, restaurants, nightlife, and many things that cost money. It’s a very tempting area for those who have a compulsive overspending problem. Someone who lives in a rural community that lacks these conveniences might not be as eager to spend. So it’s safe to say that your environment can push you to have a spending problem, though it’s not the only reason one might exist.

Six Telltale Signs of a Compulsive Spender

Are you a compulsive spender? Do you often spend more money than you can spare, run up huge debts, and often lay your head on your pillow and cry about money problems? Here are some classic signs that you have a spending problem and need help.

1. A Compulsive Spender Can’t See the Difference in Your Wants and Needs

It would help if you cared for your needs, but your wants are not something you can buy daily. These are things that you must save for and buy sparingly. Before you buy something, ask yourself if this is a want or a need. It gets tricky for some people, especially those prone to overspending.

They see their wants as needs and feel they have to have them now. However, it’s truly nothing that you can’t live without. How can you differentiate between a want and a need when your rationale is skewed?

Look at your previous spending habits. Compulsive spending often leads to piles of stuff you don’t need later. While you want to take up sewing and purchase that $400 sewing machine, will you use it? This is how homes become cluttered with items based on good intentions. It would serve you better to find a used sewing machine for less and try your hand before making a significant investment.

2. You Deny There’s a Compulsion

Do you deny that you’re a compulsive spender? Everyone around you sees the warning signs and knows you need help, but you don’t see your spending as a problem. You’re not like the people who can’t control their issues, as you think you’re in control.

The truth is that when you lay your head down at night, you know that the problem is far beyond your ability to handle it alone. You’ll never get help until you realize you need it. Everyone around you can tell you that you have an addiction and you’re a compulsive spender, but it’s not until you come to terms with it that you will understand the need to stop.

3. A Compulsive Spender Lives Above Their Means

One of the defining characteristics of someone with compulsive spending habits is an urge they can’t control. It’s a compulsion because it controls them. The desire is irresistible, and it causes them to behave in ways they would typically never consider.

The first step in realizing that you have an overspending problem is acknowledging this urge. Remember that everyone desires to splurge, and there’s nothing wrong with that occasionally. Perhaps you had your eye on a car you needed for work, but it was a bit more than your budget. However, you had to have that car.

The difference between someone who spends on occasion and someone with a compulsion is that it can’t be controlled. There are significant financial consequences to this type of spending.

A good question to ask yourself before you make such a purchase is, “Will this cause me great financial difficulty? If the purchase will put you in economic turmoil, then it’s a compulsion and not needed.

4. A Compulsive Spender Feels Guilty After Making Purchases

Have you ever made a purchase and then felt extreme guilt afterward? Maybe you wanted that little red convertible so bad that you could taste it, but now that you’ve got it, you regret the decision. One way you can tell a compulsive spender from someone who makes wise decisions is the guilt behind them.

When you’re in the moment, you don’t consider the consequences of making such a wrong choice. However, when that first payment comes due and stretches your budget, you think of the gravity of the situation. The guilt makes you feel powerless, but you cannot stop yourself due to impulse control difficulties.

Ironically, you might feel so bad that you bought that car and caused this issue that you might purchase yourself something else to feel better. The process starts all over again because you need to ease the pain you created over a wrong choice. You’re guilty of overspending if you’ve done this too many times to count, even when it was on small-scale items.

5. Compulsion Becomes Self-Medication

Consider the high that comes with getting a new item. You’ve never felt better than when you have a new outfit, shoes, purse, or haircut. It puts a little pep in your step because it eases a negative psychological state.

What if you’re having issues in your marriage and need a release? You might find it easy to go to the mall and buy yourself something to make you feel better. It satisfies that craving to feel good and works out some of your anxiety about your relationship.

People self-medicate for many reasons and don’t always use drugs or alcohol. You’re chasing this high because it increases the dopamine in your brain that makes you feel good. A compulsive spender will feel the same high from purchasing that someone who smokes marijuana feels, but both addictions come with a high price tag.

Oniomania is more common than you might think, as the National Library of Medicine estimates that between two to eight percent of adults suffer from this chronic overspending problem.

6. Financial Ruin Looms Large When the Compulsion Becomes Toxic

One of the giant red flags of a compulsive spender is spending money they don’t have to spare. You’ll dip into the cookie jar, take your mortgage or car payment, and tell yourself you will repay it later. The truth is that later never comes, as another purchase or compulsion always takes center stage.

Many people with spending problems fall behind on their bills and end up in massive debt. It’s alarming how many people file for bankruptcy in this country due to overspending, estimated at around five percent. According to Legal Jobs, approximately eight percent of all filers have filed for bankruptcy more than once.

When you file more than once in your life for government relief, it’s a classic sign of a spending issue. Another staggering statistic is that twenty percent of the people who file are well-educated professionals, which can be an indication of materialism. It shows that spending problems affect people from all walks of life, and no one is immune.

Final Thoughts on Knowing the Signs of a Compulsive Spender

Recovery centers tell families with loved ones with addiction the grim news. The experts tell them treatment won’t be successful if their loved one isn’t ready to get help. The same things are valid for the compulsive shopper.

It’s not until you see the need to get help, and want to make a change in your life, that you will be successful in doing something about it. If you notice that any of these red flags above sound like you, you need to get help before you end up in financial ruin.

3 Causes of Anticipatory Grief and How to Cope

September 23, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Anticipatory grief is a term that might seem confusing at first. If you have not heard of it before, it might even seem dumb or made up. Who in their right mind feels grief before something terrible happens? Well, the answer to that question is simple. Everyone has experienced or will experience grief, even if there’s seemingly no reason to. Grieving is complex and usually involves a great deal of anxiety. So, to feel grief in anticipation of a loss is expected.

Anticipatory grief is nothing but the brain’s way of coping with the possibility of an impending loss. But society often shames people who experience this emotion. If a loved one is about to pass, people will tell you that you must have a positive attitude until the end. They won’t accept that you might already be grieving this loss. Instead, they’ll make you feel like you aren’t trying enough to cheer up your loved one.

This is potentially the most emotionally loaded example of shaming anticipatory grief. But there are many areas of life in which this emotion appears. And it’s not okay to feel like this feeling isn’t valid. You’ll inevitably have to deal with this type of grief. So, it’s best not to feel guilty about experiencing it. To do that, you should understand what causes anticipatory grief and how to cope.

What Is Grief?

Before diving into details about anticipatory grief, it’s best to analyze what grief is. Grief is not easy to describe in words. However, everyone has felt it to a certain extent, so we know how it manifests. But, while grief is an emotion, it’s best described as the state of being after a loss. There isn’t just one feeling that you experience while you grieve.

You can go from sad and angry to shocked in seconds. So, it’s easiest to describe grief as a process. The grieving period is the whole period from when you experience a loss to when you finally heal. Because of this emotion’s complexity, specialists tend to split it into stages. Usually, they split it into five stages, but some stray from this number. These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Unfortunately, if you don’t go through all of these stages, you can’t properly heal.

Now, anticipatory grief doesn’t strictly follow these stages. And there is one primary reason: if the loss hasn’t already happened, you still have hope. In some cases, this hope can help you avoid a loss. For example, if it seems like the loss of your job is inevitable, you might experience anticipatory grief. But this hope will make you want to keep fighting. This might allow you to pull a rabbit out of the hat and keep your job.

But this is the happiest of possibilities. In most cases, this hope will do you no good. It will only make the loss hurt that much more. Still, this hope is a stage of this process. This eventually helps you accept that the loss is inevitable and is an incentive to find ways to cope.

3 Causes of Anticipatory Grief

By now, you understand what anticipatory grief is. But there’s one thing that might not be clear. What are its causes? And how can you cope with it?

1 – Loss of a Loved One

You probably aren’t surprised to hear that the imminent loss of a loved one will trigger anticipatory grief. But that doesn’t mean you’ll feel it whenever someone you know has a sore throat. Of course, the thought that someone you care about will pass away at some point is frightening. But it won’t make you grieve. Instead, a couple of factors need to be met for the grieving process to be triggered.

First, you must have a strong emotional connection to the person you’ll lose. The emotional impact will be more significant if a family member is diagnosed with a terminal illness. Anger, fear, and sadness will fill you to the brim. The anxiety of getting a phone call that informs you your family member has passed haunts you. You’ll constantly think about them and hope that there’s still a way they can get away. Even if you know they only have a few months to live, you won’t want to accept it.

The second thing is that the loss needs to be imminent. For example, if a loved one has pneumonia, you will worry about them, as that’s a grave health issue. But pneumonia is not a deadly disease if there aren’t unlikely complications. So, you won’t feel anticipatory grief when someone is just sick. You’ll feel sad and worried, but nothing more. You won’t feel that heavy dread that you’d think if the loss were imminent.

2 – Anticipatory Grief Over the Loss of an Important Material Thing

This cause might seem shallow, especially compared to the one described before. But losing a job or an object you cared about can still make you grieve. Unfortunately, people think that if you lose a job, you stay home for a couple of months until you find another one.

But, for some people, that’s not possible. For example, some people become homeless or unable to feed their families if they lose a job. Or maybe an object is all you have left from your parents, and losing that means losing the only connection you still had with them.

So, losing a vital material thing is very serious. Even if you haven’t lost anything, you’ll feel grief if the loss is imminent. For example, if you get an eviction notice, you can still stay in your home for a few days. But just knowing you’ll have no home after you forcefully vacate can make you feel horrible.

3 – Big Life Changes May Cause Anticipatory Grief

This is the lightest cause of anticipatory grief, but it’s still something you should take seriously. People are creatures of comfort, and change is something that not everyone can handle. It’s normal to feel like you want your old life back. Because we lose something when we go through changes, it’s normal to feel grief about it.

Before making a big chance, you’ll feel some dread and fear. You might even be angry that you have to change anything. Of course, you think of this feeling as nostalgia or simply reminiscing on the past. But what you experience is anticipatory grief.

3 Ways to Cope with Anticipatory Grief

So now that you understand a little more about grieving, how do you cope?

1 – Use the Time You Have Left

This might seem obvious advice, but sometimes the most obvious things work best. When you know you are about to lose someone or something, you must make the most of what little time you have left. This period is the last opportunity to make happy memories. If a loved one is sick, you must hang out with them as much as possible.

Even if the thought of losing them hurts, not being by their side in their last moments will hurt more. Life is too short to live with regrets. So instead of beating yourself up over not seeing someone in their final days alive, make sure you use that time to make them happy. That way, you’ll look back fondly instead of beating yourself up over making a mistake. Or, if you’re about to lose your job, make sure you use that time to fight to keep it. Use those last moments wisely.

2 – Accept that the Loss Will Happen

This is probably the last thing you want to hear, but the only way to move forward is to start accepting that the loss will happen. Even if you’d give anything to stop the loss from happening, there’s nothing you can do.

Now, this is easier said than done. Your emotional side will push you to bargain and beg for things to be different. But it would be best to stay rational. Tell yourself it’s okay to be sad, but the loss will still happen. It’s normal to grieve, but you can do nothing to change things.

3 – Prepare for the Worst

When you know you will lose something or someone, you need to prepare for that loss. But don’t procrastinate and wait for the worst outcome to happen. That’s not helpful; it just means the loss will impact you more. But, if you take preventive measures, at least you know you did all you can to soften the blow.

If you’re about to lose someone, make sure your family has plans for a funeral. It seems dark, but it helps alleviate some of the pressure of the loss. If you’re about to lose your job, search for potential new jobs. Take your time and make sure you do everything in your power to soften the blow of the loss.

Even more important is that you take the time to process your emotions. Talk to friends, family members, or even a therapist if you feel you can’t navigate these emotions alone.

Final Thoughts on Causes of Anticipatory Grief and Ways to Cope

Anticipatory grief is something that everyone has to deal with at some point in life. But unfortunately, experiencing loss is inevitable, and we, as a society, don’t talk enough about handling it. And anticipatory grief is something that we talk even less about. Still, it’s natural to grieve a loss even before it happens. So please don’t feel guilty about it; we all go through it.

Much like grief, this emotion is a mixture of anger, sadness, and a refusal to believe the loss will happen. Any imminent loss will cause anticipatory grief. Some of the most common causes are the impending loss of a loved one or valuable material possession. Another reason might be going through significant life changes, which don’t affect everyone. Because you can’t control this feeling, you need to learn to cope with it. Finally, you’ll have to accept that grieving is a process you must go through to heal.

And anticipatory grief will not spare you post-loss grief. But it can teach you to handle it better. First, make sure you make the most of your time. Prepare yourself for the worst, even if you hope that it won’t come to that. And lastly, accept that loss is a natural part of life. You still have a life to live and must make the most of it.

5 Ways to Put an Insecure Partner at Ease

September 22, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Do you have an insecure partner? Let’s paint a relatively common portrait of insecurity.

Your significant other constantly frets that you don’t love them or will leave them. As a result, your love has self-doubt about their abilities, appearance, and personality, which bleeds into your relationship. This is a familiar scenario if you’re dating an insecure partner.

It feels awful to deal with insecurity, and it’s also tricky for those who try to help an insecure partner. It can feel like nothing said and done will ever mitigate the fear and worry that an insecure partner experiences. In addition, it can be emotionally draining and lead to self-fulfilling prophecies and the ultimate end of a relationship that becomes progressively more toxic.

Not that people in healthy relationships don’t have insecurities. Everyone has them, even if they’re minor! And it’s also not to say that those with severe, profound, or crippling insecurities aren’t worthy of love. They certainly are! But to maintain a healthy relationship, you must know how to handle episodes of insecurity from a partner.

Of course, you can’t magically remove insecurity from a partner. That’s something they have to work on themselves! But, at the same time, you can undoubtedly become a haven for a partner, allowing them to be vulnerable and open with you in a balanced, healthy way. So here are four ways to put an insecure partner at ease.

1 – Be Vocal About Your Feelings Toward An Insecure Partner

Being vocal about your love for an insecure partner can help assuage rising fears as a short-term solution. While this should not be the only solution you use to handle long-term problems throughout the relationship, it’s a perfectly healthy one when it applies.

Even the most secure person on the planet will value verbal affirmation and love from their partner. So, of course, you should be regularly vocal about your emotions toward any partner. But it’s a crucial part of a relationship with someone battling insecurity, as it helps to provide regular affection that forms a steady foundation of security. A little reassurance can boost your partner’s confidence in your connection.

2 – Compliment Your Insecure Partner Often

It’s a great idea to affirm your feelings for your partner regularly. Compliment them on their capabilities, appearance, and personality. Tell them you love them as often as you can, and make sure you’re expressing appreciation toward them. But, of course, you should also ensure that your compliments are genuine. An insecure partner who realizes that you’re just saying things you don’t mean to appease them will become more uncertain.

Don’t Stop Being Affectionate

Physical affection is a tactile compliment. But as relationships progress, many couples stop being as affectionate as they are. They grow out of the so-called honeymoon phase and become less flirtatious. Of course, partners in any relationship must curb this. But when you’re dating an insecure partner, it’s even more critical to prevent the death of relationship affection. Continue trying to court and woo each other, even months and years into your relationship.

Make Time For Each Other

Compliment your partner by showering them with your time. Spending quality time together reminds both partners why you’re dating and love each other. It forms a comfortable bond of security where your partner is consistently reminded of how safe and welcoming your relationship feels. So make sure to break up your everyday routine a little now and then by going for date nights, trying new things, and spending time with each other in new ways.

3 – Encourage Communication So You Can Both Identify Roots

The healthiest way to conduct a relationship with an insecure partner is by ensuring constant open lines of communication. Insecurity can eat away at you from the inside and tends to thrive when it’s left silent for assumptions. This possible outcome is why the insecure partner must take responsibility for their emotions by learning to be honest about them.

Of course, this is easier said than done, which is why it’s helpful if you can encourage communication by being a safe space for a partner. This way, you’ll get to properly understand where they’re coming from and what issues are plaguing them. You’ll get down to the roots, not just analyze their surface-level manifestations. Here’s how to do that:

Do Not Invalidate Them

Many insecurities seem very unreasonable and unrealistic. However, it’s essential to understand that while someone can logically know these thoughts aren’t very realistic, their emotions can still be in turmoil over them. It’s tempting to try and tell your partner to move on or to remind them that you’re not the people who have hurt them before. Ultimately, this may not be the best option and can cause an insecure partner to shut down communication. Instead, be supportive, allowing them to talk without invalidating them. You being there for them will work wonders.

Ask What They Want Or Need

An insecure partner may have trouble verbalizing when they want or need something or might be too afraid to bring it up. Regular check-ins when you ask what they may need or want while encouraging them and showing your eagerness to do these things can encourage future communication. With time and patience, you won’t need to ask anymore as they volunteer the information themselves – though there’s no harm in asking and requesting clarification.

Practice

Communication is a skill, and it’s one you can get better at over time. If it’s something you and your partner struggle with a lot, don’t be afraid to build the skill with practice. Sit down and pick a topic to communicate, ideally one that isn’t highly emotional for either of you. Practice using positive language to provide objective facts mixed with “I” statements about impact. Then, practice negotiating compromise and discussing ideas while learning about how both of you prefer to communicate. These practice sessions may feel silly initially, but you’ll be grateful for them once you have something serious to discuss.

Dig Deep For The Real Problem

Tell your partner that you want to understand why they feel strongly about certain insecurities and help them get to the root of the real problem. So often, past trauma can affect the subconscious mind and bleed out into everyday life, leading to false manifestations that can misdirect you from the real problem.

4 – Open Up About Your Insecurities

Let’s face it: no one would feel comfortable opening up to someone who’s a closed book. If you’d like your insecure partner to be vulnerable with you, you have to be equally vulnerable with them. You may not have as many insecurities, but you undoubtedly have at least one or two minor ones. Sharing these with your partner will help to level the playing field, encouraging them to trust you.

Better yet, being open about insecurities can benefit both of you. According to studies, verbalizing how you feel can do a tremendous job of stripping those big, scary emotions of their power. As a result, you can support each other and form a healthy dynamic of reassurance give-and-take.

Being open about your insecurities healthily and productively means modeling positive behavior for your partner. They learn your secure style of communicating your concerns and worries and can pick up on those skills to use when they need them. It’s a win for everyone involved!

5 – Remember That Respect Is Non-Negotiable

An insecure partner may have trouble stating or enforcing their boundaries, which is why respect must be paramount in your relationship. It must be clear, beyond any doubt, that you both respect each other and want to do right by each other.

When discussing insecurities with a partner, know which lines not to cross. Talk about your limits and get to know the signs of each other’s discomfort. It can be hard to express that they have breached a boundary during emotional or unsteady moments. Therefore, set up safe words or gestures you can use to indicate that it’s time to change the topic.

What is also important is your respect for yourself. It’s easy to lose aspects of yourself when dating an insecure partner. To model healthy behavior, you must be assertive about your boundaries while indicating that you love and care for your partner. This firm line lets them understand that your own needs are not a personal attack on them and that you love them just the same, even while asserting your limits.

Experts state that boundaries are crucial to relationships. As such, you must be sure that you never cross your partner’s limits and don’t allow them to cross yours.

Final Thoughts On Finding Some Ways To Put An Insecure Partner At Ease

Everyone has their fair share of insecurities, and there’s beauty in being a safe space for someone you love to be completely vulnerable and open. With support, kindness, genuine love, and respect, a partner can feel confident and secure despite negative thoughts and worries.

While it’s compassionate and lovely to help put an insecure partner at ease, remember that you still need to maintain boundaries and ensure that you don’t burn yourself out in your attempts to aid them. It’s not your responsibility to “cure” someone of their fear; ultimately, a balanced relationship is healthy.

You should also be aware that severe, deep-rooted insecurity can lead someone to perform extremely harmful, toxic, and hostile behavior. Those unable to manage your partner’s insecurities and who don’t work on themselves may be manipulative or try to blackmail you emotionally. Sometimes, they do this subconsciously and unintentionally, so it’s essential to be aware of warning signs that someone you trust may be manipulating you.

Ultimately, it’s healthy in relationships for a partner to want some degree of reassurance and for you to provide it. However, as long as you achieve this in a balanced way without enabling insecurity, your relationship can become a stronghold and fort against self-doubt’s worst irrationality.

Psychology Explains 3 Reasons Why You Make the Wrong Friends

September 22, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

People are social creatures, so they need to be around people. But making friends is complex, and sometimes people make the wrong friends. This outcome happens, in particular, when people are younger. But that doesn’t mean you’ll learn from your mistakes as you get older. If you don’t, you’ll be stuck with some genuinely toxic people for the rest of your life.

Some people don’t realize how important it is to analyze potential friends. They just become friends with whomever they can. This acceptance happens because people think that more is more in social situations. But having more friends doesn’t mean you’ll be happier. More friends could indicate a higher likelihood of having bad friends. Just like in most other cases, less is more.

You need to aim for quality even in friendships. You want to be surrounded by people who will bring something to the table. But you’ll see that the wrong friends do more harm than good. They are the ones who suck the life out of you and hang you up to dry when it suits them. Toxic people don’t bring any value to your life. But why do you keep attracting those kinds of people? Psychology can easily explain why you keep making the wrong friends and can show you how to fix it.

3 Reasons Why You Make the Wrong Friends

Why do you befriend harmful people? Psychology explains.

1 – You Don’t Know How to Be Alone, So You Welcome the Wrong Friends Into Your Life.

Loneliness is no minor issue. It’s one of the leading causes of mental health issues. In this day and age, people are lonelier than ever. But that doesn’t mean you need to make friends at all costs. Still, the fear of having no one to rely on will make you take what you can get. You’ll still be friends even if you know that person is terrible for you.

But you’ll inevitably get attached to that friend because you view them as the reason you’re not alone. Even if, later on, you want to cut them loose, you won’t be able to. When you’re feeling lonely, that’s not the time to get close to anyone else. It’s better to reach out to the people you already know and connect with. Otherwise, you’ll allow bad people in your life when you are the most vulnerable.

These people will take advantage of you and steer you in the wrong direction. They know you don’t have anyone else to hang out with, so that gives them a reason to believe you’ll do anything they want. You could end up in toxic and dangerous circles and situations through them. Even if they seem friendly initially, it’s better to avoid slightly shady people. If you have to choose between becoming their friend and being alone, always choose the latter.

2 – You Give Toxic People Too Many Chances.

In justice, all people are innocent until proven guilty. This principle is highly moral, which is why it adapts well to social life. Most people know this principle as “giving people a second chance.” You can allow someone to prove they have changed or that you misunderstood them. But if they disappoint you again, that should be the end of the road.

Many people fall into the trap of giving someone too many chances. That’s how you end up having the wrong friends. If the right people surround you, you won’t need to keep giving them opportunities. They won’t do you dirty time and time again. Instead, they’ll prove they are worthy of your friendship by owning up to their mistakes and respecting your boundaries. But the wrong people will constantly step on your toes.

Even if they know they are crossing a boundary, they won’t care. They know that you’ll forgive them because you’ve done so in the past. So, if you keep being too forgiving, you’ll attract all the wrong people.

3 – You Have a Bad Opinion of Yourself.

The people who are most likely to attract the wrong friends are the ones who believe that’s what they deserve. In most cases, these people have been disrespected their whole lives by their peers. They have probably heard that they are delinquent and won’t amount to anything. Maybe that’s not even why they have a low opinion of themselves. No matter what the reason is, one thing is clear.

If you think you don’t deserve much, you won’t allow yourself to have nice things. And that includes your friends. In your head, you have probably convinced yourself that you don’t deserve to be surrounded by friendly and intelligent people. You feel more comfortable amongst toxic people because you believe that where you fit in. At first, you think those people are the only ones who won’t misjudge you. But that’s not the case at all. Not long after you befriend them, you’ll see that the wrong friends will always judge you.

You’ll likely end up judging each other and trying to tear each other down. You might feel superior to them at first, which might be nice. But that’s no reason to be friends with someone. If you have a poor opinion of yourself, don’t seek validation from others. The only person who can give you that boost of confidence is yourself.

3 Ways to Start Making The Right Friends

Now that you know why let’s look at how to start choosing more reliable friends.

1 – Be More Independent.

It’s always nice to have friends. But they are an addition to your life, not the entirety of it. To stop making the wrong friends, you need to become more independent. This way, you can be more selective and ensure you only allow the right people in your life.

It would be best if you learned to fill some time alone. If you have too much free time on your hands, you should consider taking a class. Maybe find a new activity that you enjoy doing. Invest more time in the hobbies you already have. This way, you’ll better yourself while learning how to be happy on your own.

Instead of waiting for friends to ask you to hang out, take yourself out. As you get older, you’ll start preferring your company much more. As soon as you become more independent, you’ll be more selective regarding who you spend your time with.

2 – Learn How to Hold Toxic People Accountable.

In any human relationship, boundaries are vital. You probably know that you need them in romantic relationships. But most people neglect them in platonic relationships. This is how you end up giving people too many chances and not holding them accountable, which is why you end up with the wrong friends.

If you learn to hold people accountable, that won’t happen anymore. When you think about befriending someone, make sure they know your boundaries. Make sure you communicate which things you’re okay with and which are deal breakers.

They’re keepers if they respect those boundaries and communicate them with you. That’s because they’ll own up to their mistake and fix it when they mess up. But it would be best if you held even your current friends accountable. If anyone in your life does wrong to you, don’t let them off the hook. If they can’t own up to their mistakes, it’s time to cut them loose.

3 – Work on Your Self-Esteem to Avoid the Wrong Friends.

If you are satisfied with how your life is going, you’ll attract positivity. But if you have a negative mindset and allow others to tear you down, you’ll probably attract negativity. No one else can help you build your self-esteem but yourself. If you wait for approval, you’ll just become dependent on others for your happiness.

And, you are more likely to allow those people to walk all over you. Don’t make the mistake of believing that you aren’t worthy of any good just because you are not perfect. Imperfection is part of the human experience, and it’s okay if you are still struggling. To some extent, everyone is. You deserve to be surrounded by amazing people even if you haven’t reached your full potential.

To work on your self-esteem, you must understand that your value does not come from your accomplishments. If you look worse than someone else, that doesn’t make you less valuable. Your value comes from how you treat yourself and others. You’re more than worthy if you are kind and don’t tear yourself or others down. The sooner you shift your perspective about yourself, the sooner you attract valuable people.

Don’t settle for the wrong friends just because you think you won’t get any better. Strive to have more, and be patient. In time, the right people will enter your life.

Final Thoughts on Some Reasons Why You Make the Wrong Friends

Making friends is no easy feat. Throughout your life, you’ll inevitably make the wrong friends. That’s just how life goes. It’s essential to keep those incidents isolated. Having one toxic friend can be a learning experience. But only being surrounded by toxic people is something no one should ever want. If you find yourself making only the wrong friends, the good thing is that you can change that.

There are many reasons why someone would make the wrong friends. For instance, you could be making bad friends because you are afraid of being alone. Or maybe it’s because you believe you’re a terrible person, and that’s all you deserve. You’ll only attract bad people if you have a low opinion of yourself. You could also give people too many chances and allow them to step on your toes.

In those cases, your friends won’t need to make an effort or be accountable for their actions. If you want to avoid that, you need to put in some work. The best thing you can do is work on your independence. It’s nice to be alone and have time for your hobbies. If you’re satisfied with your life, you will look for people who complement it.

That way, you’ll rule out the bad ones from the start. Work on your self-esteem and ensure you are satisfied with who you are. Lastly, make sure you communicate your boundaries. Let toxic people know what you need, want, and what sets you off. If they respect that, keep them in your life. If they flagrantly disregard your wishes, it’s time to cut them loose.

11 Easy Ways to Go Vegan

September 22, 2022 by Chris Butler

If you want to go vegan, you couldn’t have picked a better time. Today, going vegan is easy, with most grocery stores offering a wide assortment of plant-based foods. Here are eleven ways to go vegan without missing the meat with so many healthy vegan choices.

Is a plant-based diet healthy?

If you want to go vegan but are concerned about this diet’s health, you are in luck. A vegan diet has been proven to help you:

Lose weight
Lowers your risk of heart disease
Lower your cholesterol
Manage your blood sugar
Reduce the number of medications you take
Decreases your risk of cancer

Eleven tips to help you go vegan

When you talk about getting healthy, avoiding terms like vegetarian or vegan, eating more plant-based foods, and eating less meat, dairy and eggs may be helpful. This shift in language makes the whole idea of eating this way feel less of a significant life change.

1. Make your regular recipes vegan friendly

If you want to do away with meat, it’s not that hard, especially if you choose good vegan alternatives. Take your favorite recipes and make them vegan friendly by using plant-based meatless options such as:

Vegan burgers
Vegan chicken nuggets
Faux bacon
Beefless strips
Veggie hot dogs

You can also come up with unique ways to make your recipes vegan. You can swap out regular ingredients for vegan-friendly ones. Try these:

Butter: Vegan butter or olive oil
Milk: Oat, almond, cashew, hemp, and coconut milk.
Jackfruit: It’s a good substitute for chicken or beef. Use it in pulled pork sandwiches, tacos, or gyros.
Aquafaba: This is the liquid from canned chickpeas. It’s a good egg white substitute for mousse, meringues, sponges, or brownies. Mix it with sugar and lemon juice to create a vegan royal icing.

2. Don’t rush into your new plant-based diet

One of the biggest mistakes people who want to go vegan make is going all out all at once. It’s best to take it slow. You may want to stop eating as much meat and eat more veggies. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. But focusing on eating more plant-based foods is an excellent first step. Other things you can try are these:

Eat meat-free at least one or two days a week
Increase the plant-based foods in each meal
Lower the amount of meat you use in a meal. If you used 6 ounces of red meat in a spaghetti sauce, lower it to 4 ounces in the spaghetti sauce. Eventually, you can substitute a meat alternative.
Be patient. You may fall off the wagon and eat a beef taco, but that’s okay. Start fresh again tomorrow.

3. Think more about what you can eat

When you’re eating a new diet, it’s easy to ruminate about what you miss. But eating plant-based isn’t a big sacrifice when you focus on what you can eat rather than what you can’t eat. If there’s a food you miss, take a bite of it and ask yourself.

Is this food as good as you thought?
Do I need another bite?
Why do I miss it so much?
Is it a texture thing or a flavor issue?
What vegan alternative would taste good right now?

Before you know it, you won’t miss non-vegan foods as much. Most of these thoughts are in your head, and there are so many great-tasting plant-based foods you can try. Experiment with plant-based ice cream, cheese, and other snacks.

4. Try store-bought vegan meals

Does broccoli cheese bake, tamale Verde, and cheese chili mac meals sound good enough to eat? If it does, then you should try store-bought vegan frozen meals. These are more available in your grocery store’s frozen food aisle. Gone are the days of making all your vegan meals from scratch. Today, there is a vast assortment of frozen meals, bread, and desserts. You don’t need to feel deprived if you want to go vegan. Load up on these meals for quick lunches or when you’re too tired to prepare dinner. It’s an easy way to go vegan without missing the meat.

5. Go to vegan or vegetarian restaurants

There are vegan restaurants in almost every area of the country. Many of them are budget-friendly places with delicious foods. Eating at a plant-based restaurant inspires you to try new foods and maybe try to recreate them at home. Plus, many popular chain restaurants now offer plant-based alternative meals. This option makes it easier when you’re out with friends who don’t want to eat at a plant-based restaurant. National chain restaurants that offer plant-based alternative meals include:

Chipotle
White Castle
The Cheesecake Factory
PF Changs

Another way to find vegan-friendly restaurants is to download the Happy Cow app. It lists the vegan and vegetarian restaurants in your area and worldwide. There’s a paid version for Apple devices and a free and paid one for Android devices.

6. Try vegan ethnic foods

Many ethnic meals are meat-free. These vegan and vegetarian cuisines are worth checking out. Ethnic foods that offer plant-based meals include:

Chinese
Lebanese
Mexican
Italian
Korean
Indian

Try them at home or explore an ethnic restaurant to try these delicious dishes.

Don’t be shy about exploring new cuisines.

7. Avoid vegan junk foods

Avoid eating vegan-friendly junk foods. It’s not healthy, and you won’t feel good. Instead, focus on eating whole foods, like beans, fruit, veggies, and grains. This focus guarantees you’re getting the nutrition you need. Eat some fast food once in a while.

8. Start with easy recipes when you first go vegan

Remember, you’re just getting started. Take it slow and cook with what you know. Keep it real for you. Using complicated ingredients or following multi-step recipes can overwhelm you when you first try a vegan diet. Try simple dishes such as.

Vegetarian chili
Veggie stir fry
Pasta and zucchini with red sauce

9. Stay organized

Learning how to eat vegan is easiest if you stay organized. Follow these tips for staying organized.

Stock up on the right ingredients
Shop with a list, not from your head
Go to the grocery after you’ve eaten- There’s nothing worse than shopping when you’re hungry.
Plan our meals-Write the meals you want to have for the week. This helps you know what to buy.
Buy some prepared vegan meals-Be sure to buy pre-made vegan meals for quick, easy meals.

10. Get help; learn how to go vegan from online communities

You can feel lonely munching on a salad when you’re out with friends who are eating pepperoni pizza. There are many groups and organizations to help you eat plant-based. Check out these helpful sites:

The Vegan Society and Veganuary are great resources loaded with recipes, articles, and useful information to help you.
Some magazines contain nutrition guides and recipe ideas. Vegan Food, Living and Plantbased Magazine are two popular vegan magazines to try.

11. Stay with your new plant-based menu

Most of all, don’t give up. Stick with the diet even if you have some bad days. Ask a vegan friend for their favorite recipes and what things they found helpful to keep eating plant-based meals. Getting their inspiration helps you not give up.

Is it expensive to go vegan?

Eating plant-based doesn’t need to be expensive. If you plan and buy wisely, you can eat a vegetarian or vegan diet on a budget. Here are some suggestions for keeping your budget intact while eating a plant-based diet.

Use dry beans: They’re cheaper, but you need to soak them overnight. That’s not a problem if you plan. Through the amount, you go into a bowl of water and put it into the fridge for the night. When you get up, they’ll be ready to cook the way you want.
Buy frozen foods: Frozen veggies and fruits are just as healthy as fresh, and they last longer. Load up on a good supply of them, so they’re ready when you need them for soups, casseroles, or stews.
Oatmeal: Oatmeal is a superfood for vegan eaters. It’s packed with fiber, iron, and calcium. Plus, it’s a cheap food that is great in many dishes.
Produce that’s on sale: Follow a rule that says don’t buy any product that is more than $2.00 a pound. Too limiting, you say? Then raise it to $2.50 a pound. Just stick to this rule, and you’ll save.
Splurge wisely: If you must splurge, choose one thing that will enhance all your meals. Some plant-based eaters suggest buying Veganasie since you can use it in salad dressings or sauces, but it’s your splurge, so you decide.
Eat more soup: Soup is healthy, and it’s cheap. You can make a decent broth by boiling a mix of veggies like celery, carrots, potatoes, or squash. Once you have a nice broth with chopped-up veggies, add pepper, salt, a dash of lemon juice, and Tabasco. Viola! You have a heart-healthy, delicious soup that costs you pennies to make.
Stock up on staples: Keep your pantry stocked with basics like pasta, rice, peanut butter, flour, and brown sugar.

Meal ideas if you decide to go vegan

Here are some budget-friendly vegan meal ideas you can try this week.

Breakfast

Oatmeal
Tofu scramble
Bagel with vegan butter
Fruit smoothie
Cereal with almond milk

Lunch

Peanut noodles
Pasta with marinara
Falafel in pita
Hummus wrap
Avocado toast

Dinner

Veggie stir-fry
Loaded baked potato
Veggie burger
Curried chickpeas
Salad and soup
Lentil chili

Final thoughts on little changes to help you go vegan

It’s a great time to go vegan. Most grocery stores offer a wide variety of plant-based products and meat alternatives. It’s also easy because there are a lot of vegan-friendly frozen foods and vegetarian and vegan restaurants. If you want to try eating a vegan diet, be sure to take it slow and be patient with yourself. You’ll enjoy plant-based eating benefits as you learn to use vegan recipes and adapt to the diet.

Don’t Stop Being Affectionate

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Ask What They Want Or Need

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