Inspiration to your inbox

5 Kinds of Friends Every Person Needs

When you’re cooking for your family, there are five tastes that they will experience with each meal. Of course, you know these flavors are bitter, salty, sour, sweet, and umami. If you were to look in your kitchen cupboards, you would also find that the foods fit nicely into these categories. But what if you applied these descriptions to the kinds of friends you need for a well-rounded life? Seriously, think about it for a moment. Examine each friendship and the personalities each brings to the table.

If you delve deep and consider the situation, you will see that they also fit into these “taste” groups. Having a wide variety of people backing you in life is beneficial, as the various personalities and relationships can add some much-needed perspective to your life.

Having the right mix of friends would be best- a support group that brings so much to your life. The salty person might seem condescending and hard to handle, but their view on life might be just what you need. Yes, when it comes to friends, it’s ironic to say that you need one who’s umami, sweet, sour, salty, and even bitter, but there’s research to back the importance of all these relationships.

Five Types of Friendships You Need in Your Life

Each friend in your inner circle brings something unique to the table. You know the one you can count on to tell you what you want to hear, and you also see the individual who will tell you the cold, hard truth. Here are the five types of friends everyone needs to keep close to them.

friends

1. Sweet Friends

Who doesn’t love a sweet person? This individual doesn’t have a bad thing to say about anyone. They’re kind and agreeable and want to make everyone around them a little bit better.

The sweet person brings something unique to your friendship, as they remind you every day that you need to be kind to others. They help you shield the negative in life. Furthermore, they help you see the bright side even in the worst situations. Their optimistic outlooks refresh being around them, as they always seem to lift your spirits.

You can count on sweet friends to help you no matter how bad you feel. They won’t judge you, try to tell you everything you’re doing wrong, or be too overbearing. They want to live their best life possible and make you a better person around them.

2. The Salty Individual

When you call someone salty, you probably have many negative images that pop into your mind. However, the salty one is sharp and doesn’t let much get by them. Sure, they’re a bit low in the agreeability factor, but they like to keep things honest in the relationship.

They will not pay you lip service by telling you what you want to hear, and they will be brutally honest. Their blunt nature may be off-putting to some folks, but you need it. Since this person understands the motives and actions of others, they bring healthy skepticism along with them.

This individual is fantastic at helping you look out for your best interests, and they’re quick to spot that scammer. Consequently, a study conducted in 2005 found that women are more trusting by nature than men. While trusting is good, it can also get you into some trouble.

The salty person is the one who helps you rip off the blinders and see things. They don’t beat around the bush or pay lip service with niceties; they live their life with realism.

3. The Sour Person

Who wants a friendship with a sour person? Indeed, this is a fair question. This person is often unfriendly towards others and always has a pessimistic outlook. The fact is that this person may have a few negative moods you will contend with. However, they help you feel empathy.

Negative emotions are a part of life, whether you like them or not. A person who’s always sweet and kind may browse past the negative things. While it’s lovely to be with someone who is always super upbeat and sweet, it’s not always realistic in your relationships.

The sour person will help you to keep things in perspective. A study was conducted in 2013 by Kim and Kim for the Journal of Counseling Psychology. They deemed it essential to validate your negative emotions as much as the positive ones.

While no one wants to focus on the negative, you can’t ignore their existence. The study found that those who acknowledged these negative emotions had higher levels of self-esteem. Ironically, they had lower levels of aggression too.

You certainly don’t want to call the sweet person when you want to grovel in your misery for a few minutes. So the sour individual will share in the grief you feel. But more importantly, they will help you move from this spot.

friendship

4. The Bitter Buddy

The bitter person will bring out your envious side, which might motivate your success. They walk around with a chip on their shoulder, feeling that the world owes them something. Nothing they have is good enough, and they’re always jealous of everyone and their achievements.

You’re probably thinking, why would you want someone like this as a friend? According to an article in 2012 by San Jose State University, envy can motivate you. It works similarly to peer pressure.

If you have ever raised children, you know that they go through a phase during the teenage years where their hygiene is lackluster. Have you ever gone into a locker room after gym class? However, you can talk about the importance of wearing deodorant, taking a shower, and brushing your teeth until you are blue in the face.

Let just one student tell your child they have an intense aroma, and it will do more to fix the situation than you ever did. It’s because peer pressure can be motivating too. People feel compelled to change when someone else points out the obvious.

The same thing happens with envy. You want to do the same when you see other people striving and thriving. It gives you the drive to be more persistent on those complex tasks. So it’s not wrong to have a bitter person in your inner circle, as they may motivate you to push beyond your current level to something greater.

5. The Umami Friend

Friends are as diverse as the foods you eat, but one person you want is the umami. This savory person is as wonderful as comfort food on a cold winter’s evening. They bring flavorful portions to your plate.

Having the umami person in your life is essential because they help keep you grounded. This person may have a bit of all the other “tastes” all rolled into one. They can sometimes be sour, sweet, and even bitter, but they know how to manage their emotions.

The umami person is often the old soul. It seems like they’ve always been a part of your life, and you don’t want to picture your life without them. The great thing about these individuals is that they address your many needs, especially when you’re middle-aged.

A study conducted in 2018 by Piotrowski found that long-term friends into the middle-aged years are essential. These folks are a vital part of your fabric. They’ve had many experiences with you over the years and can help you organize a coherent narrative of your life.

What they bring to the table is continuity. Since they’ve been with you for so long, they can help you with your sense of self. These friendships are few and far between, but you’re lucky to find an umami person who will stand by your side.

An umami person might be that friend from kindergarten you still talk to. They hang around when things are great, and they’re not going anywhere when the friendship gets tricky.

friends

Final Thoughts on Friends You Need in Life

You can compare your life to a flower garden. The beauty of these gardens is that there’s diversity. What would your garden look like if it only had daisies or marigolds? However, adding the rose and its fragrant bloom changes the garden and makes it more appealing.

Like each flower, your relationships with your friends bring something unique to your life. While some of your friends might have toxic characteristics, it doesn’t mean everything is terrible. Just like a little bit of envy and peer pressure can give you the push you need to be a better person, so can the right friendships. Diversify your inner circle, and you will notice how much you need all these people.

3 Signs Anxiety Is Ruining Your Life and 3 Ways to Let It Go

Anxiety can be a severe and life-changing issue. While certain levels of anxiety are healthy, there are points when those anxious emotions boil over. The stress that results can turn you into your own worst enemy.

It makes sense that anxiety can be so devastating. After all, it’s a sign that your brain is struggling and beginning to malfunction, and you need your brain to be in tip-top shape. It’s the organ that controls every single bodily function you have! 

3 Signs Anxiety Is Ruining Your Life

So how can you tell when anxious emotions are taking too big of a toll on you, and what can you do about it? Here are three signs anxiety is ruining your life and three ways to let it go.

anxiety

1 – Small or Minor Things Push You Over The Edge With Anxiety

You’re like a tightly-wound spring when anxiety is ruining your life. Stress puts you in a constant fight-or-flight state, which means you view everything as a threat. Examples of ways you can be affected include:

  • An offhand comment causes you to overthink and makes you too anxious to interact with others socially.
  • A mildly awkward encounter causes you to lose sleep and obsessively replay it in your head.
  • A minor inconvenience at work makes you question your capabilities and skills.
  • Someone in your life has fun with other people, and you panic and think you’re going to lose them.
  • A minor accident, such as knocking over a glass of water, causes you to break down in tears.
  • A remark from a friend forces you to lash out at them and take things too personally.

Worse still, these things are so small they make you feel even worse about yourself. You feel ashamed because you’re so affected by what seems to be something so minor, and that only makes you even more anxious. It’s a never-ending cycle.

2 – The Stress Means That Everyday Tasks Become Too Difficult

People often overlook the severity of mental health issues in everyday life, but anxiety can be downright crippling. For example, when anxiety makes simple tasks too tricky, you may experience the following situations.

  • You struggle to get out of bed in the morning and want to stay in bed all day.
  • You don’t want to go outside and feel compelled to isolate yourself and skip out on errands, necessary appointments, and even work.
  • You’ll experience severe brain fog that causes you to make many mistakes at simple tasks.
  • You have trouble concentrating on anything at all.

Once again, it’s clear to see how this contributes to the deadly cycle of unchecked anxiety. When you’re unable to live everyday life, your anxiety worsens, making you more anxious. This outcome is because:

  • You cannot keep up the comforting rhythm of regular routines, which throws off your bodily rhythm and makes you more anxious.
  • You’re constantly in fight-or-flight, so stress levels are at an all-time high.
  • A lack of ability to do otherwise effortless things makes you question yourself and your capabilities.
  • When isolated, you cannot gain outside, realistic perspectives and can keep making up anxiety-driven ideas in your head.

3 – You Question If The Anxiety Will Ruin Your Life

If you have to ask yourself if anxiety is ruining your life, chances are that it is. People who aren’t struggling with anxious stress don’t wonder if they’re doing OK. However, the moment you start questioning yourself, it’s likely that you’re being severely affected by anxiety.

The human body is a bit of a mystery, but it tries its best to communicate its needs to you via various signals. In the same way, your nerves scream at you to jump away from very hot objects when you touch them, and your stomach growls when you’re hungry, your body doesn’t fail to indicate when something’s wrong. 

Mental health is just as important as physical health, and your body knows it. If you’re noticing your anxiety a lot, it’s because your mind and body attempt to inform you that this anxiety is a problem. Do yourself a favor, listen to yourself, and trust that you have your best interests at heart.

3 Ways To Let Anxiety Go

So now you are more attuned to the existence of those anxious thoughts. How do you stop it?

1 – Interact With Others To Release Anxiety

When you’re anxious, sometimes the last thing you want to do is interact with other people. While it’s OK to need some private time to yourself to process your emotions and calm down, things get unhealthy when you isolate yourself entirely for prolonged periods. 

In reality, connecting to the people around you is crucial to letting go of anxiety. This even applies to social anxiety, as long as you choose to be around your loved ones or people you feel safe with. Research shows that spending time with others is capable of reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety. Here are some ways to do this:

  • Give Someone A Hug To Relive Your Stress

Hugging or cuddling someone releases the love hormone known as oxytocin. This reduces feelings of anxiety, helps lower blood pressure, and even improves immunity, according to studies. If you’re not much of a hugger, any physical interaction can produce this effect to a mild extent, such as patting someone on the back or sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with someone.

  • Play With A Pet

If your social battery isn’t charged enough for human interaction, a pet can be an excellent source of exchange. The same love hormone, oxytocin, is released when you cuddle and play with a pet, and studies even show that animal companionship can relieve anxiety.

  • Ask For Help

One of the reasons that anxiety is so difficult to overcome is that it traps you in a deadly cycle where you’re too anxious to ask for help, which only makes you more nervous. You may even be overthinking, developing wrong ideas about your worth, and getting it in your head that other people would never help you. 

This means you sink further and further into the pit of anxiety. Asking for help can be scary, but it’s essential to letting go of anxiety. You can ask to vent to or talk to a loved one or trusted friend. You can request support in doing something that makes you anxious. 

Or you can even get help from a professional counselor or seek out support groups or clubs for things you’re interested in. Finally, you can release your anxiety if you can make connections with others.

2 – Permit Yourself To Feel Anxious

It sounds a little counterproductive, but sometimes, anxiety gets worse because you keep trying to push it aside. Studies have long shown that repressing emotions makes them more robust and can even turn them into something worse. For example, your anxiety over something reasonable, like a job interview, can make you decide that you’re worthless and incapable of doing anything. It’s a pretty deadly cycle.

Anxiety is a normal human emotion. And, even when it’s unrealistic, irrational, and unhelpful, it’s a valuable experience. But unfortunately, many people make their anxiety worse by feeling too ashamed of their emotional experiences. Essentially, anxiety can be a cycle – feeling anxious about feeling anxious makes you more nervous!

This is why you have to permit yourself to experience anxiety. This doesn’t mean bowing to it and validating irrational anxiety. It just means letting yourself feel it without judging yourself. Instead of feeling ashamed, honor the emotion and thank your brain for attempting to protect you. Spending anywhere from one to five minutes peacefully sitting with your anxiety and watching it as a witness can allow it to pass.

3 – Express Yourself Creatively To Prevent Anxiety Attacks

One of the best ways to let go of anxiety is by expressing it in unique and interesting ways. Plenty of people find ways to fully capture the depths of their anxiety through art and other release methods. It can be pretty cathartic to put down all your feelings into a visual, verbal, or creative medium, giving you the chance to process intense, complex, or complicated emotions. Here are some ways to relieve the stress in your life:

  • Write

Many people keep a journal to express their feelings of anxiety so they can let go of them. This is already a fantastic way to get out everything you think without judging yourself in a completely safe space. For some, direct journaling is sufficient to reduce the severity of their anxiety. You can re-read journal entries at later dates to further process and reflect on them, too. If you need something a little more challenging or less “generic,” you can write stories, poems, lyrics, and other types of prose as a means of artistic expression.

  • Draw or Paint

Did you know that studies show that art therapy is an effective method for reducing stress, managing anxiety, and aiding in anxiety processing? You can, of course, go for art therapy and sign up for sessions, but you can also harness the wonders of art on your own. Draw, paint, or even color; research shows that coloring books effectively relieve stress!

  • Let Your Imagination Run Wild

The human brain is a powerful tool. In your head, you can travel to distant lands and do anything you want to do! While chronic daydreaming isn’t healthy, research indicates that your imagination can be a powerful way to neutralize anxiety. You can visualize your happy place, envision an entire fantasy movie scenario for yourself, and think of anything funny, relaxing, or comfortable that you enjoy. 

  • Use Music To Explore Anxiety

Are there songs and pieces that make you feel relaxed or make you want to sing and dance? Turn up the music you love and pay attention to how their beats and tempos affect your body. Which ones reduce your anxiety the most? Which ones can sometimes increase your symptoms? Which ones are just comforting to listen to? Which do you dance to, and which do you sing at the top of your lungs? Make playlists of music that can help you to feel better when you’re anxious, and don’t be afraid to dance, sing, or play instruments along to those songs.

anxiety

Final Thoughts On How Anxiety Is Ruining Your Life And Ways To Let It Go

Anxiety can drag you down in life. Knowing your anxiety levels will allow you to notice when your anxious emotions are getting too overwhelming. This will enable you to use positive, healthy methods to let go of anxiety so you can continue to live in peace.

Science Explains What Happens To Your Body When You Walk 10000 Steps Every Day

You have heard that if you walk 10000 steps, you can achieve better health. It’s not a manageable number to reach. Many people drive to work then sit all day. After work, you do errands, pick up the kids, or drop off the dog at the groomer. Too bad time spent in the car doesn’t count as steps. Researchers tell you the main thing is to keep moving. If you’re trying to reach 10,000 steps to lose weight, go for it. It’s a worthwhile goal and one with many benefits. Here is what science says happens to your body when you walk 10,000 steps daily. 

Could the advice to walk 10000 steps be a marketing ploy?

No one knows where the idea of walking 10000 steps came from. Some suggest that a Japanese company called Yamasa started a campaign for their newly created step-tracker to launch the 1964 Olympics. The step tracker’s name, Manpo-Kei, is translated as 10000 steps in English. During 2005-06, another group of researchers conducted a study where the participants reached 10,000 steps daily. The results reported the participants were in better health and had a greater sense of well-being. Wherever the idea of walking this many steps came from, it’s a popular trend today.  

The more steps a day, the better your health!

There’s a connection between physical activity and health. A study conducted by Jama Internal Medicine researched older women. They tracked the participants’ actions, especially the time spent walking. They wanted to answer the question: do more steps result in fewer deaths?

walk 10000 steps

The key findings were:

  • More sedentary women averaged only 2,700 steps a day.
  • Women who averaged 4,400 daily steps had a 41% reduction in death.
  • Mortality rates improved when participants took at least 7,500 steps per day.
  • There were about nine fewer deaths in every 1,000 women in the most active groups compared with those with fewer steps.
  • Walking does not need to be vigorous to be beneficial.

So, according to this study, get at least 7,5000 steps if you want to live longer. Of course, you can always aim for a higher number of walks to lose weight or get more exercise. 

Walk 10000 steps for a longer life.

The World Health Organization says that as many as five million deaths are preventable annually if people get more active. People of all ages can stay physically active. The guidelines recommend at least 150 to 300 minutes of moderate to dynamic weekly exercise for every adult. Kids should get at least sixty minutes of exercise per week. 

So, walk up to 10,000 steps for improved health. It is a great way to get healthier. But even if you  walk thirty minutes a day, it can help you achieve these outcomes:

  • Lose weight
  • Improve your muscle mass and strength
  • Reduce your chances of heart disease
  • Help manage or reduce your risk of type 2 diabetes
  • Prevent osteoporosis
  • Reduce your chances of cancer
  • Improves your memory
  • Boosts your brain function
  • Reduces your depression and anxiety
  • Add years to your life
  • Trim inches off your body

Doctors advise that if you walk at a moderate pace, it takes you approximately a hundred minutes to reach 10000 steps. Walking faster, you get to 10000 steps in 77 minutes. 

How to increase your steps and keep it interesting

walking

When you begin walking, your body adapts pretty quickly to physical activity. So, over time, increase the intensity and length of time you walk. It’s easy to increase the power of your walk simply by doing these things:

  • Take on some hills
  • Carry hand weights with you when you walk
  • Increase your stride and speed
  • Increase your distance 
  • Aim for at least ten minutes three times a day and build up the length and distance you progress. If you want to lose weight, increase the amount of time you walk. Over time, this activity will become a daily lifestyle. You can build walking into your daily life routine by:
    • Take the stairs at work or when you’re out shopping.
    • Get off the bus at least one stop sooner and walk to work or home.
    • Walk to a local store.
  • If you don’t have one, walk your dog or your neighbor’s dog.
  • Walking is free. You don’t need a gym membership or buy expensive exercise equipment. Unlike some other types of exercise, It doesn’t require special equipment or training. Rack up steps anytime of the day and at your own pace. Walking is a great start if you haven’t exercised in a long time. You can keep the pace you want. As you gain strength and stamina, increase your speed. 

Walk 10000 steps with others.

  • Walking with others creates more social opportunities. It helps you keep a routine of exercise, and it’s fun. Researchers found that communities without understanding the importance of walking were less motivated to participate. Overall, women average less than 5,000 steps a day. If you want to walk more, get involved with other walkers.
  • Schedule a family walk: Every week, schedule a time for your family to get together to take a walk. Go to a park and walk along a path or a lake. It’s a great way to spend time with others and improve your health. 
  • Ask your neighbors or friends to walk with you a couple of days a week. Start a walking group of two or three neighbors. You can learn more about one another and stay in shape. 
  • Take your young kids for a walk: Of course, walking 10000 steps each day with young children may be slow–if not impossible. Still, it’s an excellent chance for them to learn the value of walking. Point out trees, animals, or birds along the way. It’s a great way to make memories and inspire future generations to enjoy walking. 

How to improve your walking technique

Of course, you know how to walk, but you might need to improve your technique for the most substantial health benefits. Here are some suggestions to improve your technique:

  • Keep your head up, and look forward as you move instead of looking at the ground. 
  • Relax your shoulders, neck, and back. Don’t walk in an upright, stiff position. 
  • Swing your arms naturally. Bend your elbows a little. You can pump your arms if you want to get your heart pumping. 
  • Your stomach muscles should be taut, and your back straight. Don’t arch backward or forward. 
  • Walk with a smooth gait. It would be best if you did a heel-to-toe movement. 

Other tips to improve your walking routine:

If you don’t schedule times to walk 10000 steps, there is a good chance you won’t do it. Try to keep a routine every day. Before you know it, you’ll be automatically following your routine. Be sure to take these measures:

  • Get good athletic shoes with arch support, thick, flexible soles, and a firm heel. Don’t skimp on good shoes. Cheap shoes hurt your feet and cause problems later in life, such as bunions or corns on your toes.  
  • Wear comfortable clothing: Wear comfortable-fitting clothing. Layer your clothes when it’s cold out. Wear bright colors or reflective tape if you walk in wooded areas. 
  • Don’t forget the sunscreen: Put on sunscreen every day. Include a hat and sunglasses when the sun is bright. 
  • Wear a step-tracker: Wear a step tracker or keep count of your steps on your Apple watch. It’s a great way to reach your daily goals. Many trackers also track your calories, distance, and heart rate. 
  • Avoid obstacles: Skip paths with low-hanging limbs, standing water, or cracked sidewalks. It slows you down and could cause injury with one misstep. 
  • Walk in a mall: If you live in a frigid climate during the winter. You can stroll inside a shopping mall. These malls usually open early to allow walkers to get exercise. 
  • Warm-up and cool down: Even if you’re walking briefly. Allow your muscles some time to warm up and cool down. This helps avoid injuries. Once you’re injured, you end up sitting on the couch. Being sidelined with an injury causes you to gain weight and feel discouraged. 
  • Stretch: Although this activity isn’t as physical as aerobic exercises, stretching before and afterward is still a good idea. Try gentle stretches to relieve your muscles and prevent injury. 

walk 10000 steps

Final thoughts on the changes you’ll see in your body when you walk 10,000 steps daily.

Most people know that walking 10,000 steps is a helpful way to lose weight and stay in shape. Getting that many steps each day is easier said than done. Sadly, most adults in the United States are sedentary. Aspiring to 10,000 steps a day is a worthwhile goal. Walking as exercise helps you trim down, improves your brain function, and lowers your risk of heart problems and type 2 diabetes. People who walk to lose weight keep the weight off. Now may be the time to start if you haven’t exercised recently. You’ll be surprised how much better you feel and enjoy life. 

4 Ways to Feel Closer to Your Partner

Being in a relationship is hard work. Throughout the years, people inevitably drift apart. But if you’ve put time and focus into the relationship, you don’t want to give up on it. Instead, it would be best if you worked to be closer to your partner. 

This sounds nice and easy, but things don’t always go smoothly in practice. You’re probably aware of this, as you’ve undoubtedly struggled with feeling closer. The good thing is that you don’t have to wing it. Psychology is well equipped to give you all the tips you need to improve your relationship. 

All you need to do is put some effort in and give things a real shot. There are two people in a relationship, so don’t expect your partner to always take the initiative. You need to take the lead sometimes and work with your partner to improve what you have.

Why Do People Drift Apart?

Relationships have ups and downs, and it’s normal to go through boring stages. It’s also normal to feel like maybe things aren’t going the way they should. This happens mainly because, after a while, people get too comfortable. They stop putting in the effort needed for a strong connection. After a few years of being together, you stop going on dates or surprising your partner. Everything is just the same old routine. While routine can be comforting, it also sucks all passion out of a relationship.  

But that’s not the only reason you and your partner become distant. People change a lot throughout their life, and it can affect relationships. For example, you can start having fewer things in common. The conversations can become dry and repetitive, which will annoy both of you. You could also have unresolved issues that disallow you to be closer. Maybe you have different expectations, or your needs aren’t met anymore. In that case, it’s no surprise you prefer being alone to being with your partner. 

Having these issues doesn’t mean you don’t love each other anymore. Sure, for some people, it’s a sign they are falling out of love. But that feels different. When you fall out of love, you feel nostalgic and maybe even guilty. But you don’t exactly feel sad at the thought of not being close to your partner. When you still love that person, you’ll dread the thought of ever losing them. Even if you feel like your connection is not as intense, you’ll want to do anything you can to be closer. So, how can you focus on becoming closer to the one you love?  

closer

4 Ways to Feel Closer to Your Partner

Now that you see why people drift apart from their partners, how do you reverse the focus to moving forward and fixing it? Try these tips.

1 – Make Communication a Priority to Be Closer to Your Partner

As the years go by, couples communicate less. People think they don’t need to talk as much because they’ve been together for a long time. And it’s natural to speak less than in the honeymoon phase. Your partner doesn’t need to get updates on your life every five seconds. And you don’t have time to be constantly texting them. Still, people don’t just reduce their communication a bit. 

They stop making time to talk at all. They wake up, go to work, get home tired and immediately sleep. They don’t even check up on their partner most time. But, of course, you’ll grow further apart if you stop checking in on each other.  

If you feel this happened to you, focus on making communication a priority. The trick is to communicate deliberately. Don’t just wing things. Instead, schedule a time when the two of you sit down and talk about your day or week. Also, don’t be afraid to share any issues you might have with your partner. For example, if you feel there’s something wrong in your relationship, you need to talk about it. 

Otherwise, you’ll never solve the issue. Talk about your wants and needs, especially if they go unmet. Your partner can’t read your mind. They don’t know what you need if you feel like they aren’t doing the work. Don’t be afraid to talk. You’ll find that the more you do it, the closer you’ll get.  

2 – Make Each Other Feel Special to Feel Closer

Part of why people feel so close during the honeymoon phase is because they take their time to make each other feel special. They always want to buy them gifts or cook their favorite food. It’s not even about doing big, flashy things. The charm is doing something for the other just because you want to. There isn’t any particular reason or special occasion. 

You do it just because you feel like it. Nothing can make someone feel more special than being surprised by someone they love. Then, after a long day, getting home and finding your favorite food on the table is the best thing ever.  

Often, couples grow apart because they forget how important it is to make these small gestures for each other. As a result, they don’t bother to do nice stuff for the other on an ordinary day. Sure, you might buy them gifts on holidays. But that’s because society pressures people to buy gifts on those occasions. But, after years of being together, that doesn’t seem that special anymore. 

To be closer to your partner:

  • Please make an effort to make them feel special. If you see something that reminds you of them, gift it to them.
  • If you have enough time, make them their favorite meal.
  • Get them that piece of clothing you know they’ve wanted for a long time.
  • Even getting them a flower bouquet will make their whole week.

focus

3 – Become Closer by Dating Your Partner 

Contrary to popular opinion, dates aren’t just for couples who have just started dating. Likewise, going on dates isn’t just something you do to get to know each other before you decide if you want to commit. Sure, they also have that purpose. But they can be much more than that. Besides giving you a reason to get dressed up and go to a nice restaurant, they can bring you closer together.  

But this only works if you make going on dates a regular occurrence. Try to go on one date a month, if possible. But even one every couple of months can do the trick. Make time to schedule some romantic, alone time in your calendar. This is the perfect opportunity to let go of daily stress and focus on each other. You can do whatever you’d like. Go to a movie, get dinner, or even play mini golf. 

Doing fun stuff together will inevitably bring you closer. You’ll also remember why you are together in the first place. Instead of being together through just the boring and sad times, you can create fun memories together. Going out is better, but you can also have a date night at home. You’ll still have to get ready and prepare the date. So, you’ll be doing something together that you know is specifically for your relationship. This way, you’ll become closer and easily create happy memories together.  

4 – Focus on the Things They Like

Having common hobbies is very important for any couple. But sometimes, people don’t have a passion in common. Or maybe one of them loses interest in the other’s desire. Either way, if you do not have things in common, you’ll grow apart as a couple. And that distance will only increase if you don’t show any interest in the other’s passions. Nothing hurts a person more than not being able to share what they love. 

It’s even worse if your partner isn’t interested in what you like. You’ve gone through this issue yourself. And you’ve probably done it to your partner. Especially after a few years of dating, people think it’s okay for each to have their thing. That’s all good, even healthy. But there’s a difference between not knowing what your partner likes. 

If you want to be closer, focus on showing interest in what your partner likes. Even if you don’t like what they like, at least make an effort. For example, if they enjoy golfing, get them to teach you. Who knows, maybe you’ll even have some fun. And you can prove to them that you are willing to make some sacrifices to see them happy. What would be even better is finding a common passion. 

Maybe that’s something you used to do together a while back, or perhaps it’s a new hobby. Either way, try to do as many things as you can together. Have fun and hang out as much as possible. Show the other that you care enough to know what they love. If you do that, you’ll become closer.  

closer

Final Thoughts on Ways to Feel Closer to Your Partner

All couples struggle from time to time. At some point in your relationship, you’ll drift apart. But that doesn’t mean it’s the end of your relationship, so don’t despair. It just means you should make an effort to become closer again. And there are a few simple tricks you can use to do that.  

One of the most important things you need to focus on is fixing your communication. You might be distant because you don’t communicate enough anymore. Make an effort to sit down at the end of the day, or at least the week, and talk. Tell each other about your day, or even discuss your issues. This is how you still stay connected and can solve problems as they appear. It would be best if you also made an effort to make each other feel special. For example, you can get each other gifts even on regular days. 

Dating is also paramount, even for couples who have been together for years. It’s a special time, just for the two of you. You can get dressed, go out, and focus on an excellent time together. Finally, it would be best if you were interested in each other’s hobbies. If you show that you want to learn about what the other loves, you prove how much you care. You’ll become closer to your partner if you implement all these tips into your relationship.  

Psychologists Explain Eight Habits That Stop Overthinking 

It’s common to overthink things going on in your life. For example, you may wonder about a conversation or mull over a problem at work that hasn’t resolved itself. But if you obsess to the point of overthinking things, it can be unhealthy. This ruminating won’t solve a problem but stirs up worry, so you feel insecure about your life. Whatever you’re finding hard to let go of right now, here are eight steps to help you stop overthinking. 

When you overthink, your mind goes on overdrive. You may go over the same situations or conversation repeatedly, analyzing and evaluating what you said and did. It can be compulsive for some people. Overthinking is different than brainstorming or problem-solving. When you overthink, it can make you feel paralyzed and rarely leads to action. Obvious solutions get pushed aside as you think about all the possibilities without ever resolving anything. It steals your confidence causing you stress and anxiety. 

What are the signs you’re overthinking? 

If you wonder whether you overthink things, here are some signs you’re overthinking things in your life. 

  • You can’t stop worrying
  • You keep reminding yourself about your mistakes
  • Worrying about things you can’t control. 
  • You relive your embarrassing moments repeatedly.
  • When you think about people, you think about things you wish you hadn’t said to them. 
  • You struggle with insomnia because you’re thinking too much
  • You spend time thinking about what someone meant when they said that to you
  • When someone makes a comment you don’t like, you mull over it repeatedly
  • You spend time thinking about your past, worrying about what will happen in the future 

overthinking

Psychologists Explain Eight Habits to Stop Overthinking

If the signs of an overthinker point to you, here are eight steps to stop overthinking. 

1. Get comfortable with the negative stuff in life

Life is full of adverse situations. You get sick, deal with unkind co-workers, or feel discouraged about your finances. Being comfortable with the negative things in your life can help you stop overthinking. Interestingly, studies show that individuals who accept the negativity have more excellent psychological health. They’re better able to respond to stress. 

It’s important to understand there isn’t a solution for every problem you’ll have in life. Your life may be full of mystery and unanswered questions. Mulling over what you should have done or said only leads to stress. When you face a negative situation, try to do these things:

  • Accept it as a negative: Don’t try to be overly optimistic about a negative situation. That feels fake. It’s a negative part of life, and that’s okay. 
  • Express your feelings: When faced with negative things, express your fear, doubt, confusion, or sadness. Don’t put on a happy face. 
  • Control is overrated: Many things in life will be out of your control. That’s okay. 
  • Solve what you can: If there is something within your power to solve, do it. Otherwise, let go of it. 
  • Tall your mind to stop: Talk to yourself. Tell yourself to stop overthinking. Don’t let negative thoughts control you, causing you to slip into overthinking. 

2. Avoid rehearsing your conversations 

Overthinking is often rehashing old conversations. You may think about a conversation you had years ago, rethinking what you said and what the other person said. Overthinking can become obsessive to the point of anxiety. When you catch yourself doing this, try these things:

  • Try a grounding exercise: Bring your mind into the present. Focus on how your legs feel, your arms, or your head. 
  • Name something: Take a moment to name one thing you see, smell, feel or hear right now. Getting into the present pulls you out of your ruminating and into the present. 

3. Exercise to let go of negativity

Physical exercise boosts your energy and improves your moods. Brain chemicals called endorphins are released when you exercise, causing you to feel more positive. Of course, you don’t need a gym membership to exercise. Walking for fifteen minutes helps rid your mind of negative thoughts. Step outside in the sunshine. Breathe in the fresh air. Enjoy the flora and fauna around you. Before you know it, you will let go of worry and concern. If you don’t enjoy walking, there are lots of other types of exercise you can do to overcome your tendency to overanalyze, such as these healthful activities:

  • Bike riding
  • Swimming 
  • Gardening
  • Pickleball
  • Tennis
  • Jogging
  • Taekwondo
  • Jujutsu

4. Pay attention to your triggers

If your brain is in overdrive all the time, you need to take a moment to figure out what is triggering these mental gyrations. What triggers your negative thoughts may differ from someone else’s overthinking, but most people worry and overthink about the same things. Try asking yourself questions to understand better what’s triggering your anxious thoughts. 

  • Did anyone say or do something that’s making me feel anxious?
  • Did I say or do something that’s a concern? Why?
  • Am I afraid of what people will think of me?

Understanding your triggers can help you avoid them the next time, or if you need to face them, you can prepare yourself to resist overthinking. Some of the most common stress-related situations people overthink include:

  • Relationships
  • Kids
  • Marriage
  • Job
  • Responsibilities
  • Health
  • Money

let go

5. Resolve outstanding problems

Studies show that people who struggle with overthinking feel better when they resolve the underlying causes of their anxiety. Of course, you can’t solve every problem by thinking about it. Sometimes you need to take action. For example, resolving a conflict, finding another job, or getting better health care helps you let go of your negative thoughts. The traits of a good problem solver include:

  • Know what the problem is 
  • Don’t assume you understand the problem completely
  • View the problem as an opportunity to learn and grow
  • Think outside the typical ideas
  • Be ready to be wrong sometimes….it’s okay. 

6. Stay busy

If you have too much time, it’s tempting to let your mind run wild. Stay busy interacting with friends and family or participating in events in your area. When you stay busy helping others, it helps you. Staying active keeps the focus off yourself and all the negative thoughts crowding your mind. Ways to keep busy helping others include:

  • Volunteer at your local library
  • Tutor kids at an elementary school
  • Volunteer at a pet shelter
  • Visit an elderly neighbor
  • Take food to a food pantry

Other ways to keep yourself busy include these:

  • Join a book club
  • Audit classes at a local university
  • Join a gardening club
  • Take kayaking class
  • Learn a new language

7. Find a trusted friend 

A trusted friend who knows you well enough to listen while you talk about everything on your mind is golden. Ask them to point out when you’re overthinking things. Of course, they probably already know this. Researchers say that a ten-minute chat on a social topic boosts your mental agility and helps you solve problems. Plus, your close friend can help you laugh at yourself and your overactive thoughts. 

An ancient proverb says A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. (Proverbs 17: 22) Laughter and joy reduce stress, boost your immune system, and improve your mood. 

What are the benefits of friendships?

Good friends are good for you. They help you celebrate during the good times and support you in the bad times. Friends also, 

  • Improve your self-worth
  • Boost your confidence
  • Improve your happiness
  • Help you cope better with trauma
  • Encourage you to change where you need
  • Help you change bad habits like excessive drinking or lack of exercise.

Adults who have strong social connections lower their risk of 

  • High blood pressure
  • Depression
  • Obesity
  • Live longer
  • Heart problems

8. Schedule time to ruminate

Of course, you need time to reflect on the different situations in your life. But endless hours of ruminating won’t help your soul. Instead, schedule time daily to reflect on the things you’re concerned about. Keep this reflection time to twenty minutes of thinking time. You may want to journal your thoughts or use the time to pray, asking God for help to resolve a problem. Or you may need to let go of the worry associated with whatever you’re thinking about.

Be consistent with these reflection times. You might want to spend time reflecting first thing in the morning or the last thing in the evening. Sit outside on your deck with a cup of tea, coffee, or hot chocolate. Allow your thoughts to wander. Reflect on your cares and concerns. Be sure to also reflect on what’s good in your life. Explore what you’re grateful for in your life. 

overthinking

Final Thoughts on Knowing Its Time to Let Go of Your Overthinking Habit

Overthinking is familiar to everyone, but if you constantly mull over old conversations and feel anxious about them, you could fall into unhealthy habits. Overthinking can lead to anxiety disorders and physical problems. If this sounds like you, try these eight steps to let go of your negative thoughts. Remember, you control your thoughts; your ideas don’t control you. Hopefully, these steps will encourage you that you can stop your brain’s overload of thoughts. Enjoy your newfound freedom as you let go of worry and concerns in your life. 

NJ Mom Rents Billboard to Celebrate Daughter Becoming a Doctor

A proud New Jersey mom rented a billboard to honor her daughter becoming a clinical psychologist. Dr. Kristine Smalls graduated with her Psy.D degree from Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine on July 29, 2022.

Her mom, Kendra Busbee, wanted the whole world to know about her daughter’s accomplishments. Renting a digital billboard seemed like the perfect way to celebrate her earning a doctorate.

“I am the proudest mom knowing that I have the most awesome daughter. I can’t even explain the feeling that I have right now. She has done everything that a mother could wish their child could do,” Busbee told Good Morning America in an interview. “I wish nothing but the best for her.”

Busbee planned to rent a billboard after Kristine told her a friend’s mom had done so recently. The proud mom initially turned down the idea, thinking it would be too expensive. However, after finding a decent deal, she quickly changed her mind and decided to surprise Kristine.

“I got on the phone, and I started making phone calls: ‘You know where I can get a billboard and who I can reach out to?'” Busbee told GMA. “I reached out to someone that just opened up a bakery, and she directed me to someone that she used for her billboard, and they gave me an amazing price.”

Busbee added that she already had a design in mind for the billboard. She stayed up late at night brainstorming ideas in a notebook, envisioning how the massive billboard would look. She eventually created the perfect design and couldn’t wait for her daughter to see it.

It wasn’t easy keeping the celebratory billboard a secret until the day it went live. Busbee told friends and family to gather in a parking lot near the billboard for the big reveal. At the same time, she asked her daughter to meet her and visit friends at a nearby bar.

NJ Mom Surprises Daughter With Congratulatory Billboard After She Graduated

billboard

When Busbee told Kristine to come outside, she initially saw the massive crowd of people and didn’t notice the billboard. When her mom pointed out the giant display of public recognition, the graduate was at a loss for words.

“I said, ‘Oh I moved the car,’ and we’re walking to the car, and she’s like, ‘OK, I don’t know what’s going on.’ And she sees everybody outside of their car standing there, waiting. So she’s thinking that I’m giving her a COVID party [for her graduation],” Busbee said. “I’m like, ‘The billboard!’ and she’s like, ‘Oh!’… It was awesome.”

“She just stood there in shock,” the proud mother added. “So I hugged her. She hugged me back. And I said, ‘We did it, baby. You did it.'”

Kristine’s billboard displayed a sizable photo of her wearing her graduation cap and tassel. On the side of the picture, it read, “Let Me Reintroduce Myself… Dr. Kristine S. Smalls — Dr. Smiles — Look what good came out of Camden!”

Busbee added that after revealing the billboard to her daughter, she played “Jay-Z’s ‘let me reintroduce myself.'” This phrase referred to the rapper’s song “Public Service Announcement (Interlude),” a fitting song for the occasion.

Busbee and her daughter felt touched by the friends and family who showed up to celebrate with them. However, Busbee said she also felt the company of her late mom, Doretha Busbee, on that special day.

Her mom passed away while Kristine attended Kean University for her undergraduate studies. Busbee continued, saying that her mother had a close relationship with her children. So, feeling her mom’s presence at the billboard reveal made the event even more memorable.

The proud parent said her daughter knew she wanted to become a doctor since she turned 5. She described her daughter as “very determined [and] very dedicated.” Kristine originally wanted to become a pediatrician but later changed her major to psychology in college.

The College Graduate Has a Bright Future Ahead

After earning a master’s degree, the 30-year-old completed her five-year doctorate course earlier in 2022. She wrote her dissertation on “African American Women’s Perspectives on Mental Health.”

In the fall of 2022, Kristine will put her degree to good use by getting some real-world experience. She plans on beginning a post-doctorate program with the Resilience, Empowerment, And Creating Hope (REACH) School Program. Springfield Psychological, a mental health practice in Pennsylvania, launched the program in 2014 to provide behavioral health support to students.

According to the Springfield Psychological website, the REACH program includes:

  • Daily group therapy, which provides evidence-based treatments, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
  • Weekly individual therapy to discuss social and emotional health, as well as academic performance
  • Family therapy and supplemental referral services as required
  • Collaboration with school administration and teachers
  • Professional development sessions for school staff members
  • Coordination with community leaders and mentors
  • 24/7 crisis services through crisis helpline

Students have demonstrated improvements after taking part in the program. School districts have reported the following benefits from the program:

  • Enhanced academic performance
  • Reduction in absenteeism/lateness
  • Decrease in depression and anxiety symptoms
  • A dramatic decline in discipline referrals
  • A successful transition back into school from outside treatment programs
  • Strengthening of relationships between students and staff members

The program seems right up Kristine’s alley, and we don’t doubt that she will add value to countless students’ lives.

graduate

Final Thoughts on Mom Renting Billboard to Celebrate Daughter Becoming a Doctor

An NJ mom decided to celebrate her daughter earning a doctorate by renting a massive billboard in the city. It featured a large photo of her daughter Kristine and a message highlighting her achievement.

Kendra Busbee couldn’t have been more proud of her daughter and wanted to recognize her publicly. After arranging for friends and family to gather near the billboard, Busbee surprised her daughter with the generous gift.

At that precious moment, it became clear to Kristine that all her hard work had paid off. This graduate will have a bright future as she helps students realize their potential through the REACH program.

Skip to content