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30 Behaviors That Reveal an Emotionally Disconnected Partner

September 25, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

Having an emotionally disconnected partner can be a challenge. While you had the best relationship initially, they’ve become distant as things have changed. Your emotional needs are no longer being met, and you seem like strangers due to this disconnection.

When there’s an emotional disconnect between you and your partner, it’s only natural that you wonder if it’s the end. You can work on things, but it will take both parties sorting the issues and trying to reconnect.

Thirty Signs of an Emotionally Disconnected Partner

If your partner is distant and seems like an entirely different person, you might suspect infidelity. You might also consider that they’re trying to head out the door. Here are some signs that the one you love has become emotionally disconnected from you.

1. An Emotionally Disconnect Partner May Stop Doing the Little Things

They no longer care about your happiness, and it’s easy to see. They’ve stopped doing all the little things that once made your life so much easier. It seems they could care less what’s going on with you.

2. You Lead Separate Lives Due to the Disconnection

Nowadays, it seems like you’re two ships that pass at night. They have their life, and you have yours. They don’t include you in their daily routine or their social calendar. This is a significant change as once you were inseparable.

3. They Don’t Put Any Effort into Your Relationship

You both know there are problems in the relationship, but they won’t try to fix things. They’re very disconnected from you, and your suggestions for counseling and other ways to repair things have fallen on deaf ears.

4. Emotionally Disconnected Partners Argue Frequently

Though they’re distant, they seem to show up for the arguments. You can’t have a normal conversation with them that doesn’t end in a dispute. They never seem to have a nice word to say to you, tearing you apart. Some nights, you dread coming home because it looks like you’re always going to fight.

5. There’s No Intimacy With Disconnection

They may sleep on the couch or stay far away from you on their side of the bed. There’s no intimacy, so they might as well be a roommate. There’s not much of a friendship anymore, either.

6. They Refuse to Discuss Their Feelings

You’ve tried to talk to them about what’s going on and their feelings, but they seem disconnected from the situation. They don’t want to talk about anything and deny something is wrong.

7. They Put Their Needs Ahead of Yours

Their needs are essential, but they don’t even consider yours. At one time, you did have a high ranking in their life, but these days they don’t even know you exist unless you’re fighting. They will bring home take-out and not ask if you wanted any, as they’ve also lost some consideration.

8. They’re Expecting Perfection from You

The more disconnected they’ve become from you, the more they expect. They want perfection as their overly critical nature is undeniable. They get upset about minor things, and they’re not acting like themselves.

You walk on eggshells when they’re around as they demand you be this perfect person who doesn’t exist.

9. An Emotionally Disconnected Partner Hides Things from You

You’ve caught them in lies, and they hide plenty of things from you. You’ve often thought they’re cheating. The fact that they’re so secretive these days causes you great alarm.

10. They Stonewall You Rather Than Discuss an Issue

When you confront them about an issue, they say everything is fine. However, they make snide comments under their breath that let you know that everything isn’t okay. According to the National Library of Medicine, this behavior is often caused by internal conflict during upbringing. In many instances, the person was abused as a child and shut off their emotions as a coping skill.

11. They Ignore You

You can be in the same room with them but feel alone. They don’t even acknowledge your presence these days. They ignore you and everything about you unless they pick a fight or are critical.

12. They Don’t Say “I Love You” Anymore

You can’t remember the last time they told you they loved you. They don’t show their emotions at all, as they’re disconnected.

13. They Don’t Like to Do Things with You

You’ve asked them to do things with you that you once both enjoyed, but they always have an excuse. It’s been months or even years since you’ve done things together.

14. Your Needs Aren’t Being Met

You have emotional, physical, and psychological needs, and none of these are being met. They’re so distant they don’t even know what you need or care to provide them.

15. There’s No Affection if You Are Emotionally Disconnected

There’s no hand holding, hugging, snuggling, or kissing. You have a disconnection of all affection. Not only have things cooled down in the bedroom, but you don’t touch or embrace them. They’re so distant that they feel like your roommate rather than a lover.

16. They Don’t Makeup After an Argument

They don’t try to smooth things over after an argument and refuse to apologize. They’ll just leave things the way they were and move on.

17. Emotionally Disconnected Partners Become Defensive

They’re very distant with you and get defensive when you bring up anything that might be wrong in the relationship. They don’t want to hear or talk about the issues.

18. There’s No Emotional Support

This person was once a shoulder to cry on and arms that embraced you. Now, they don’t seem moved by your tears or fears.

19. An Emotionally Disconnected Partner Refuses to Communicate

You’ve tried till you’re blue in the face to get them to communicate, but they won’t talk. You’re lucky to get one or two-word answers from them when you ask a question.

20. The Disconnection is One Sided

These days you’re the one putting in all the effort, and they seem to be doing little to keep the relationship going. It looks like they’re slowly slipping away.

21. They’re Going in a Different Direction

You both wanted the same things and were headed in the same direction, but suddenly you’re on different paths. Your futures and goals no longer align.

22. They Accuse You of Having “Over the Top” Emotions

Every time you try to communicate with them or discuss an issue, they tell you that you’re too intense or over the top. They act like everything you do is an overly emotional plea for them to straighten up.

23. You Get on Their Nerves Due to the Disconnection

It doesn’t matter what you do; you don’t seem to do it right. They act like you’re always on their nerves. They sign, roll their eyes, and work irritable when you’re around.

24. Emotionally Disconnected Partners Are Impatient

The once gentle soul you fell in love with now is infuriated and inpatient with you. They’ve also become demanding as they’ve become more emotionally disconnected.

25. You’re Often Given the Silent Treatment

They like to play games and give you the silent treatment. This is typically selfish and manipulative behavior. According to the National Library of Medicine, this is emotional abuse, and their disconnected stance is more damaging in some cases than physical abuse.

26. They Do Things to Sabotage Your Relationship

There have been times when you feel that they’re directly trying to sabotage your relationship. It’s as if they’re looking for a reason to leave.

27. They’re Overly Critical of You

According to them, you can’t even fry an egg right anymore. They go around all day pointing out your faults and telling you how you could do better. They’re so disconnected from you that they’ve become your drill sergeant.

28. An Emotionally Disconnected Partner Takes Their Stress Out on You

They take it out on you if they’ve had a bad day at work. No matter who did them wrong, you’re the one that bears the brunt of their rage.

29. There’s a Disconnection if They Want to “Fix” You

They’ve made it their mission to fix all the things that are wrong with you. The only time they will consent to counsel is to air all their grievances against you, but they don’t want to fix their issues.

30. You Don’t Know How They Will Behave Anymore

You always knew how they would react to situations. But now you hold your breath and pray that you don’t set them off for the minor things. You have no clue how they will react due to their distant behavior, so you tread lightly.

Final Thoughts on Emotionally Disconnected Partners

After reading through this list, do you see things that resonate with you and your situation? Are you thinking about calling it quits? A relationship must be 50/50; if one person puts in 100 percent of the effort, it will never work.

If your partner is willing to get help and try to repair the disconnection in the relationship, you have a fighting chance. However, you must understand that it may be time to move on if your emotionally disconnected partner has no interest in fixing things.

30 Behaviors Emotionally Connected Couples Show Each Other

September 25, 2022 by Chris Butler

Are you emotionally connected with your partner, or is your connection more physical? Some people mistake the two, but once you’ve developed an association that’s on an emotional or spiritual level, the relationship is more profound. Establishing an emotional connection is the foundation if you want a healthy relationship with your partner.

Thirty Signs of An Emotionally Connected Couple

When there’s no emotional bond, it can hinder complete happiness in your relationship. You can certainly build it even if you don’t have this association. Here are 30 things that people who are emotionally connected will display.

1. Emotionally Connected Couples Are Vulnerable To Each Other

Showing your vulnerabilities is essential in a relationship, as it means that you can be honest with one another. There’s no reason to put on a fake facade, as you can be who you are without fear. They will never look down on you for being genuine with them.

2. You Know It’s Okay to Re-Evaluate Your Relationship

Relationships grow and evolve, and when you’re emotionally connected, you know you will need to re-evaluate things to keep them stable. You welcome the ebbs and flows of life as long as you can be together.

3. Emotionally Connected Couples Are Friends First

An old saying states that friends make the best lovers, and you’ve found that true. If you’re not friends first, you will never have the emotional depth you need. Friendship is the best foundation for a deep dynamic link.

4. You’re Patient With Each Other

Patience is a challenging thing to master, but you’ve learned how to be slow to anger and understand your partner. You’re emotionally connected, so you’ve learned what they need and given them time. You realize that not everyone goes at your pace or does things in your time frame.

5. You’re Not Focused On “Fixing” One Other

Emotionally connected people know that you can’t fix one another, so they don’t waste their time trying. You accept one another for who and what you are, so there’s no need to change a thing. This doesn’t mean you negate self-growth, but you don’t try to fix someone perfect for you.

6. You Share Little Inside Jokes

You can always tell a couple that has a deep connection by the little inside jokes they have with one another. These people finish each other’s sentences and read one another’s minds. This is typically a bond that forms over time but reading each other like this shows an intense depth.

7. Emotionally Connected Couples Show Affection

Affection isn’t something that’s left for the bedroom, as you have no problems showing affection with one another wherever you are at. Just holding hands, hugging, or giving that smile to your partner lights up the room. Tasteful public displays of affection are commonplace.

8. You Know How They Will React or Behave in Most Instances

When you’re emotionally connected, you know how your partner will react to situations. You use this knowledge to your advantage to help keep things running smooth. It gives you an advantage in approaching them regardless of the situation.

9. You Have Completely Separate Lives Outside of the Relationship

You’re both secure enough within yourself that you can have friends and a life outside of one another.

10. You Talk Every Day and Have a Routine

You’ve developed a little routine that’s become special. You may call or text before work, at lunch, and before you leave to come home.

11. You’re Sympathetic and Empathetic

The emotionally connected couple will master sympathy and empathy, and you’re there for each other in every way possible. You’re a shoulder to cry on and will listen to them as they vent about their horrible day.

12. Emotionally Connected Couples Dream Together

One of the beautiful things about a couple with such a deep connection is that they dream together. You’re their lover now and in the future, so you plan together for your tomorrow.

13. You Leave the Past in the Past

You don’t use the past as a weapon to handle conflict. You like to let the bad stuff stay behind you and focus on a happy life and future together.

14. You Don’t Hide Your Quirks

Silly things like eating ketchup on potato chips might turn some people off, but you’ve learned that you can show your quirky side without fear.

15. You Both Can Sense When Something’s Wrong With One Another

The emotionally connected couple can sense if something isn’t right before the other person opens their mouth. You’re in tune on a higher level.

16. The Connection Isn’t Just Physical

While physical intimacy is great, there’s so much more to your connection than those things. You have a spiritual bond that goes much deeper. According to Northwestern Medicine Psychologist Dr. Sheehan Fisher, you must try to get everything you can out of a relationship. A good association with your partner means better well-being and quality of life.

17. There’s Constant Chemistry No Matter What’s Going On

Life’s great when you’re on vacation and doing something exciting, but you two have mastered how to have a great day even if you’re lounging. The constant chemistry between you two is undeniable.

18. You Both Feel Heard, Seen, and Accepted

Your partner listens to you, and you feel like they hear what you say. Even if they don’t understand, they accept you and see where you’re in life.

19. There’s Interest in Mundane Details

Emotionally connected people share even the most minor details about one another’s life, which doesn’t bore them. They care about all things, both big and small.

20. You Try to Understand Your Partner’s Perspective

You’ve found that putting yourself in their shoes for a minute helps you to understand them better. You never down them for having a differing opinion.

21. You Hold Each Other Accountable

If your partner makes a mistake, you don’t let it just escape you because you love them. You still hold each other accountable when you’ve done wrong.

22. You Don’t Just Want Your Partner – You Need The Connection

There’s a big difference between wanting someone and needing them, and you don’t know how you could survive without this person in your life.

23. You Know Each Other’s Ins and Outs

There’s nothing about this person you don’t know about, and you make it your mission to keep this deep association intact.

24. You Resolve Conflicts with Sound Logic

When you argue or deal with tough situations, you don’t let your emotions get the best of you. You resolve conflicts with sound logic and understanding and get the same in return.

25. You Share Connection in Every Detail of Your Life

They know about the time you fell off your bike and broke your arm in 2nd grade, and you know about the time they got suspended in school. Every detail of one another’s life is discussed.

26. There’s Physical, Emotional, or Mental Support

The support in a relationship that’s emotionally connected is much different than those that are only physical. You have the support that encompasses you mentally, emotionally, and physically.

27. You Trust One Another When You Have a Strong Connection

You know that anything they do is going to be for your betterment. They won’t talk about you behind your back, nor will they do anything to hurt you purposely.

28. You Care For One Another’s Needs

You care about each other’s wants and needs; if they need something, it becomes your problem too. You ensure that one another has their needs, even if it means you must go without something.

29. You Participate In Each Other’s Hobbies

While you may not like your partner’s hobby, you go along because you want to be with them. You don’t care if you’re on a golf course or swimming laps for endurance, as being beside them makes life better.

30. Emotionally Connected Couples Trust One Another With Their Secrets

You know your secret is safe with your partner so that you can open up the most intimate parts of your heart without reservation. There’s just something about them that makes you feel safe, and you’re at ease in their presence.

According to psychologist Chris Skellett, trust is like oxygen to a relationship. If you don’t have it, then your relationship won’t survive. He further states that relationships that lack trust deal with issues like suspiciousness, fear, and doubts.

Final Thoughts on Emotionally Connected Couples and How to Forge a Stronger Connection With Your Partner

It’s often said that people who are together for long periods morph into one another. Perhaps this is where the saying that when you get married, you become one came from.

You know when there’s a deep emotional connection with each other by the simple things like finishing each other’s sentences, knowing what’s going on by sensing their mood, and understanding one another’s hopes and dreams. Having this type of bond together is what makes relationships last.

20 Questions Parents of Kids With ADHD Should Ask Teachers

September 25, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

When school is in session, kids seemingly spend more waking time there than at home. With that being the case, discussing your child’s ADHD symptoms with their teacher is essential. It helps everyone involved, including your child, the teacher, and yourself, in helping to calm a child with hyperactivity.

Teachers get to know quite a bit about your child, but they can only understand so much unless you talk to them. It takes time for a teacher to adjust to each student, just like it takes your child time to get into the school routine. Many parents must also become comfortable with changes as each new year brings new challenges and expectations.

With everyone involved adjusting to and learning about one another, it’s essential to discuss your child’s ADHD and ask questions when necessary. Your child’s teacher wants to help them develop, so don’t hesitate to reach out.

It does not matter whether your child attends a new school or you want to improve communication with their current educational setting. Either way, asking these questions can help you get all the necessary information and gives the teacher a chance to ask for other details.

The Importance of Open Communication When You Are the Parent of a Child With ADHD

Without communication, you might dread parent-teacher conferences. It can leave you wondering if your child is paying attention and keeping up academically. These issues can cause anxiety, and knowing what to ask and areas to discuss will give you a sense of control.

Open communication allows you and the teacher to share information as it comes up. It can also help you have productive conferences that help your student have a beneficial experience. Extra information can help your child succeed in school, giving you relief and allowing the teacher to make adjustments as necessary.

What is ADHD?

ADHD, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, indicates a pattern of inattention, hyperactivity, or impulsivity. When the situation interferes with functioning or development, they may receive this diagnosis from a professional.

While researchers aren’t entirely sure what causes attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, they believe genes and environmental factors play a role. There’s also the possibility that brain injuries and nutritional intake contribute to the symptoms.

Symptoms and Signs of ADHD

Experts indicate that the core symptoms of ADHD include:

hyperactivity
inattention
impulsivity

The signs of ADHD include the behaviors caused by the symptoms. You might notice the following:

difficulty staying on task
struggling to focus
inability to stay organized
constantly moving, even when it’s inappropriate or against the rules
excessively fidgeting, tapping, or drumming on objects
talking too much
restlessness
acting without thinking
lack of self-control
desiring immediate rewards and being unable to delay gratification
interrupting others
making decisions without thinking of the future or potential consequences
overlooking details and making careless mistakes
seemingly not listening when spoken to directly
not following through on instructions or finishing tasks
avoiding things that require mental effort
losing necessary items
being easily distracted
forgetting chores, errands, phone calls, or appointments
struggling to stay quiet when necessary
inability to wait for their turn

Children exhibit symptoms differently, which is another reason communication is so essential. When teachers know how your child displays hyperactive behavior, they can help sooner than when they figure it out alone.

What Helps a Child Calm Their Hyperactivity?

Children experiencing ADHD thrive in environments that are structured but flexible. They also do better when they develop positive relationships and role models. However, asking teachers questions and opening up offers enormous benefits to your child.

Questions Parents of Kids with ADHD Should Ask Teachers

Here are questions parents should ask of the educators in their public school system.

1 – What methods do you use when teaching children with ADHD?

Every child is different, and their symptoms will appear in different ways. Your child’s teacher might have familiarity with differing behaviors, so asking which methods they implement is beneficial. You’ll either realize that they already use methods that work with your child, or you’ll have a chance to explain your child’s differences.

You’ll also want to identify how the teacher handles hyperactive behavior. It can help you understand how they will approach your child if a situation arises.

2 – Does my child seem happy at school?

An essential aspect to discuss is your child’s well-being. Your child can thrive when they’re happy, and finding a way to make that happen can make a difference. It can boost their self-esteem and make them want to learn.

3 – Does the school have a procedure for interventions and supporting issues of difference?

A child experiencing ADHD will have different issues than other children. Ask about how the school handles these situations to help you grasp what you’re working with. It can also give you peace of mind if you hear procedures you support.

You can discuss specific issues and hear their feedback and plans. Another beneficial aspect of learning the procedures is asking about an IEP plan. Not all children experiencing ADHD needs an IEP, but it can be a helpful resource.

An IEP is an Individualized Education Program. Asking about it can help you understand how staff will help your child. It is for individual students who require extra support and flexibility. Parents work with teachers, administrators, and other educational support members to create an IEP.

4 – How can you encourage their interests and talents?

Keeping your child engaged and focused at school involves implementing their interests and strengths. Talk to your teacher about the things your child enjoys, and ask how they will use them to help your child. It will get your child talking about the task and improve their sense of self-worth.

5 – What can we expect from your class?

When you ask this question, discuss class size and seating arrangements. These aspects can make all the difference in your child’s success.

Read about a Harvard professor who believes the diagnosis ADHD does not exist.

6 – Are there alternative options for unstructured time?

Many children experiencing ADHD need structure and routine in their day. Having other options available can help them stay on track without losing focus for the remainder of the day. It can also prevent hyperactive behavior during unstructured time.

7 – How can I help encourage active class participation?

Asking the teacher how you can help encourage your child to participate can make a difference. They might suggest things you can do at home to foster your child’s interest. There also might be things you can do in the morning before school to help your child focus and participate.

8 – What is the policy regarding ADHD medication?

It’s essential to ask this question if your child takes medication during school hours. You’ll feel better knowing if they’re prepared to give it to your child. Additionally, you can ask if they will monitor for side effects after your child takes medication.

9 – What are the homework arrangements?

Children with hyperactivity often take longer to do homework than other kids. They might struggle with time management, focus, and other essential aspects. Asking about the homework arrangements and discussing your child’s struggles can help everyone involved.

10 – Do you have suggestions for how I can help them stay caught up on their work?

Your child might not always finish school work, causing them to get behind. Asking your child’s teacher what you can do to help can make a difference in academic development. It also shows that you’re willing to do what you can to ensure the school year goes smoothly.

11 – How do you handle bullying?

Children experiencing attention deficit hyperactivity disorder often struggle with socialization. They don’t always recognize social cues, leading to irritating their peers. Asking what the teacher will do if it happens can help you feel better knowing your child is protected.

12 – Does all staff know about ADHD?

Your child’s teacher isn’t the only person who will be responsible for your child at school. Gym, art, STEM, music, and other teachers or employees will help your child develop. Asking the teacher if they all understand ADHD will help determine which employees you should talk to regarding your child.

13 – How often should we discuss my child’s progress?

Your child’s teacher might want to update you daily or opt for weekly updates. It could be best to check in weekly but ask for notice if your child has a bad day or disrupting experience.

Dealing with issues as they occur can help encourage your child’s success. However, you don’t want to disrupt the teacher too often. Find a timeframe that works well for both of you but allows you to feel comfortable.

14 – What is your preferred communication method?

Determining the quickest way to get ahold of your child’s teacher opens lines of communication. You’ll feel better knowing the teacher will see your message and respond when they get a chance.

The teacher might prefer phone, text, email, or a specific app. It ensures that you can regularly check the teacher’s preferred contact method for updates on your child. Knowing the preferred method increases the chances that issues don’t worsen before you and the teacher speak.

15 – Are there any behavior changes you see during the day?

Your child and their teacher spend many hours together every day. The teacher will notice behavior changes and learn when they occur. There might be specific triggers, including activities, people, or time of day.

16 – Are the teaching and learning arrangements flexible?

Children experiencing ADHD don’t learn the same way as other students and sometimes require more breaks. Ask about flexibility to know what you and your child are working with. It can help with time management and targeting specific learning difficulties.

17 – Do you recommend any specific resources for managing hyperactivity?

Teachers deal with many children and learn quite a bit along the way. They might be able to recommend specific resources that could help your child. Teachers want to help their students, so don’t hesitate to ask.

18 – Do you have a plan for students who struggle with taking tests?

Lack of focus can interfere with test-taking skills. Ask the teacher about a plan if you know your child struggles in this area. The teacher might be able to provide helpful assistance to children, and it’s beneficial to have an IEP in place for this.

19 – How much physical activity time will my child with ADHD receive?

Children need physical activity, and those experiencing ADHD benefit from frequent activity breaks. They can’t always focus well, so breaking their day up and allowing physical movement can make a difference.

20 – Is there a staff member who could mentor my child?

Sometimes children experiencing ADHD need more assistance than a teacher can offer during learning times. Having a mentor or aide can help your child stay on task and thrive in their environment.

Final Thoughts on Questions Parents of Kids with ADHD Should Ask Teachers

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is common and can interfere with your child’s well-being. However, staying in contact with your child’s teacher can make a difference. Don’t be afraid to ask questions because the discussions can help the teacher encourage your child throughout the day.

With routine and consistent role models in your child’s life, they can flourish academically and socially. Their experience might differ from other children’s, but it doesn’t have to be a constant struggle. Your child can thrive, you can feel comfortable, and your child’s teacher can be a guide when you can’t be there.

7 Steps to a Powerful Apology, According to Psychology

September 25, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Apologizing is not as easy as it might seem at first. Sometimes, a simple “I’m sorry” does the trick. But other times, you need to do much more when you’ve genuinely hurt someone. If you want your apology to make an impact, you need to make an effort to craft it. And no, contrary to popular opinion, that doesn’t mean the apology is fake.

A well-constructed apology is no more or less genuine than any other apology. A simple apology can be the fakest thing possible. And a planned apology can be as sincere as it gets. But knowing the steps you need to take to construct a meaningful apology can make all the difference. You are less likely to be forgiven when you offer a fake apology.

Even if you are genuinely sorry, you must know what to tell people. If you want forgiveness, you must know how to communicate that properly. It also helps to have a plan because of how stressful and emotional these situations get. A guideline can help you when you stumble or choke up on your words.

Seven Steps to a Powerful Apology, According to Psychology

Apologizing is very hard because you want to ensure you are concise and clear. But, on the other hand, the last thing you want to do is create more issues because you don’t know how to communicate. So, if you want to know how to handle apologies better, psychologists recommend these seven steps.

1 – Acknowledge Your Mistake When Apologizing

There’s nothing worse than receiving an apology from someone who doesn’t even acknowledge they made a mistake. Right from the bat, you can feel just how fake that apology is. If you say “I’m sorry” to get out of trouble, that doesn’t mean much. Even if you temporarily get off the hook, problems will return.

So, for a good apology, the first thing you need to do is recognize your mistake. Then, listen to the one you’ve hurt and see where they’re coming from. They will tell you what the problem was and why they got mad. And you need to keep an open mind and understand what you did wrong. As soon as you do, you’ll be able to empathize with the one you’ve hurt. That way, you’ll be able to construct a better, more genuine apology.

2 – Be Honest and Authentic in Your Apology

The most important factor of a good apology is being honest. No matter how well-crafted your apology might be, no lie could compare to the truth. Admitting your fault goes a long way. Even if it’s scary to admit that you messed up, it’s the best way you can move forward. But before being honest with someone else, you must be genuine.

After you make a mistake, your instinct might be to get defensive. You might want to make excuses and do anything to save face. You might even try to convince yourself that lying to them might be the best option. After all, what they don’t know can’t hurt them. Well, wrong. Remember that the truth will always come to the surface.

It’s always better to acknowledge what you did and own up to your mistakes. Of course, the worst thing that could happen is not getting the forgiveness you seek. But at least you know you were honest up until the end.

3 – Apologize as Soon as Possible

One of the best things you can do if you want to have the best apology is to do it as soon as you can. The more you delay it, the less genuine it might seem. Sure, people need time to process and decide whether to forgive them. But that doesn’t mean you should put off saying that you’re sorry. They can have all the time to process after you’ve apologized.

Just because apologies are awkward doesn’t mean you should put them off. As soon as you do it, you’ll feel lighter. Plus, you’ll prove you’re genuine when you do it quickly. It will show that you care more about the other’s feelings than yours. It will also confirm that there’s nothing you want more than to fix things.

If you keep delaying, the other person will think you don’t care about them. It will just make them feel neglected and hurt their feelings more. So, to avoid all these potential issues, make an effort to apologize.

4 – Show That You Regret What You Did

It isn’t much you can do to make someone refuse to forgive you. Aside from the worst crimes against humanity, you’ll always have the opportunity to make amends. But the other person won’t take your apology seriously if you don’t show your regret for what happened.

Regret is not an emotion that anyone likes to feel. But it’s imperative to handle it if you want to move on. Regret shows that you understand what you did and how it affected others. It shows that you empathize and you want to make things better. Regret comes from knowing that what you did was wrong and wishing you could take it back.

And, when you genuinely regret something, it shows. People can hear it in your voice and see it in your actions. So, when you apologize, show that you regret what you did. Take responsibility for your actions and show the other person that you understand the pain you caused.

5 – Listen

When you give an apology, you aren’t talking to a wall. You are communicating with an actual human who has the right to speak. And you should be aware that an apology is more than words. It’s not supposed to be a monologue. Instead, it should be a conversation. You might start the apology by talking about something, only to discover that the real issue is something else. But you can only learn that by listening. If you genuinely want to solve problems, you need to give the other person the opportunity to talk.

But listening isn’t just good because it allows the other to tell you precisely what bothered them; it’s also a kind and moral thing to do. Whenever you apologize, you need to ask the other person how they feel. This discussion will make them feel heard and cared for. Sometimes, the loudest message you can send is silence. Let them vent about how they felt. Allow them to get all the negative stuff out. After they get their chance to talk, you’ll find it much easier to fix things.

6 – Make Some Changes in Your Behavior

Sometimes, actions do speak louder than words. And no, this is not just a cheeky catchphrase. It means a lot for the person you’ve hurt to see that you’re willing to change. Sure, you can’t change everything about yourself overnight. And you shouldn’t have to. You should only change the toxic parts of your behavior.

True, you won’t be able to prove that you have changed when you apologize. And that’s because you didn’t have the time to make the necessary changes. But you can at least promise to become better. This is why communication is so vital, even when apologizing. You must be willing to accept the change even before talking to the person you’ve hurt.

But you also need to keep an open mind and tell them what else you can do to improve. That’s not to say you should accept to do anything so that they can forgive you. Just because you made a mistake doesn’t mean you deserve to be hurt and changed. You still need to respect yourself. Sure, you need to take action to become better. But don’t let anyone stomp all over you.

7 – Don’t Expect an Apology In Return

In most fights, both parties carry their part of the blame. Sometimes, it’s equal. Other times, one of you did more harm than the other. And other times, it might be the fault of only one of you. Still, blame and hurt aren’t something that can or should be quantified. So as long as you messed up, you need to apologize and make things right. And one thing you should never do is expect something in return.

Even if you were hurt, you should never apologize because you are trying to force an apology out of the other person. Your apology should be genuine and selfless. Your intentions should be to make the other person feel better and make things right. Sure, if the other person doesn’t own up to their mistakes, you won’t be able to move on. But whether they apologize or not is their choice. All you can do is be genuine and sincere and own up to your mistakes.

Final Thoughts on Following the Seven Steps to a Powerful Apology

Apologizing is never an easy thing to do. You can never be sure you’re doing it right or that it will be effective. Still, you must be brave and ask for forgiveness when you mess up. And you shouldn’t apologize in the hopes that the other person will forgive you. If you want your apology to be powerful, it needs to be selfless and genuine. You need to do it because you are genuinely sorry, not just because you want their forgiveness.

You need to understand what you did wrong. Own up to your mistakes and understand how your actions impacted the other. The person you are apologizing to will feel this empathy. It will make your apology genuine and believable. You need to be honest and apologize as soon as possible. Don’t let things simmer and get worse. You also need to show remorse for what you did.

This works particularly well when you try to be a better person. A good apology also includes listening and seeking the other person’s input. Lastly, remember not to seek an apology in return. If they are sorry, they will apologize when they are ready. If you try to force it out of them, things will backfire.

11 Ways to Build Empathy in Children

September 24, 2022 by Chris Butler

Empathy is an awareness of the emotions and feelings of others. It’s having compassion for others as if you were going through what they’re experiencing. You’re not born empathetic. Instead, this compassion is something you need to learn. Likewise, you can teach empathy to your children.

Eleven Ways to Teach Children About Empathy

Here are eleven ways to build empathy in children, regardless of age.

1. Empathize with your child

The best way to teach empathy to a child is for them to experience that caring from you. When you show your children compassion and kindness, it creates a secure bond with them. They learn to trust you. This strong bond helps them to adopt your values. They begin to model your empathetic behavior. Empathy towards your child could be

Caring about their emotional and physical needs
Understanding their personality
Respecting their personalitiy
Having a genuine interest in them
Guiding them toward activities for their personal growth and enjoyment

2. Understand their feelings

Make an effort to understand your child’s feelings. This communicates a caring attitude. Create an environment where your child feels heard. Even if you can’t understand the depth of how your child is feeling, your expressions of interest will make them feel acknowledged. Your actions teach them to listen to others’ feelings and try to understand the best they can what the other person is going through.

3. Using empathetic statements

Part of teaching kids to be empathetic is to make statements that express empathy. These statements show compassion and caring without judgment. Some of the empathy statements you can make include these:

What you’re saying makes sense.
You’re going through a tough time.
I’m sure you feel hopeless at times.
I wish you didn’t have to go through this.
That sounds so hard for you.
I agree with you on that.
No wonder you feel so upset.
I’m sure I’d feel the same way in your situation.
This problem must be very annoying.
That sounds so scary.
I would also feel disappointed by that.
What you’re saying makes me feel sad, too.
That must have hurt.
Let me know what you think are your choices right now.

4. Start teaching empathy at a young age

Kids are sponges. They learn from those around them. They notice little things like how you treat the server at restaurants or the people at the grocery. Whatever you model, they see. As you display friendliness, they will too. When they see you expressing concern for a new family at school, they’ll emulate this to those around them. This observation is the beginning of their empathy lessons.

5. Talk about your feelings and how others are feeling

Narrate your day and how you feel about things happening with people around you. This conversation helps broaden a child’s understanding of the people around them. You can say these:

I’m excited about picking up the flowers for grandma’s birthday. She’s going to be so surprised.

I don’t think Dad liked getting a flat tire on the way to work. The poor guy was late.

These statements teach your kids to be aware of others and to anticipate how they feel in their situation.

6. Be patient

Your kids won’t be empathetic overnight. Like you, they’re imperfect beings. Sometimes they’ll be selfish and unkind. Being human is to get it wrong sometimes. Be patient with them. Empathy is a complex skill. It develops over time as your child matures. You can show them empathy even when they’re hard to love.

7. Give your kids opportunities to practice empathy

Nurture your child’s empathy by providing opportunities for them to show kindness. Please encourage them to have compassion for their classmates or siblings. Talk with them about considering their sibling’s perspective during an argument. Please take notice of empathy examples and talk about them with your child. If you are watching a television show with your child and you notice a character display empathy, point it out to your child. Talk about what they did to show kindness. Discuss why other characters lacked compassion or missed an opportunity to be kind.

8. Expand your child’s circle of concern

Kids can help others beyond their circle. Talk to your kids about caring for other people, even if they’re different. Model care for the homeless, elderly, and people who are disabled. Your example here will speak volumes to them. Look for opportunities to interact with different people and bring your kids along to help.

Take magazines or flowers to a nursing home
Delivery of food to food banks.
Give a homeless person on the street a gift card to a restaurant.
Ask an older adult at the grocery if they need help loading their car.

9. Help children develop self-control with their feeling

Sometimes kids’ feeling blocks their desire to be empathetic. Maybe caring for someone else feels overwhelming to them. Perhaps they feel guilty, angry, or ashamed that they aren’t more empathetic. Help them talk about these feelings. Feeling a lack of empathy is normal. They may be surprised to learn that you don’t always feel like being empathetic. When your child feels like this, try to

Help them identify their feeling with names such as frustration, sadness, or discouragement. Sometimes kids don’t know what to call these feelings, and having a nake is helpful for them. Plus, it helps them to know that what they’re feeling is normal.
Please encourage them to step back and get a handle on their feelings. Then, please take a moment to think about what they should or shouldn’t do. Be their sounding board and their cheerleader.
Help them resolve any conflicts. If they disagree with someone, encourage them to fix it the best they can. Help them see the other person’s perspective but don’t discourage your child’s perspective. Teach them that sometimes you must agree to disagree, which is okay.

10. Make caring for others a priority in your family

Kids learn to value others’ perspectives and show empathy if they’ve experienced this from their parents. Your compassion for your kids will rub off. Your kindness can care for others will also rub off on your kids.

11. Teach essential life lessons about empathy

At the same time, encourage your kids to understand that the world doesn’t circle them. Help them learn that, at times, they’ll need to set aside their concerns for someone else’s happiness. For example, it’s good for them to hear when it’s time to turn off their screen and help unload the dishwasher. Teach them to be polite even if they’re feeling grumpy. And teach them to turn off their device when talking to other kids or adults.

How to Teach Empathy at Different Ages

Find your child’s age group to see some age-appropriate ways to demonstrate compassion.

Toddler-preschool age

Toddlers are, by nature, self-centered. This is developmental and not all bad. At this age, you can show empathy for your little one.

Ask them feelings-oriented questions such as: Are you feeling afraid of that dog? He’s a lovely dog, but he’s loud, right? So it’s scary when he barks. Sit on my lap while he’s walking by.

At this age, you can talk about others’ feelings, too. I bet Bobby felt sad when you took his toy away. Please give it back to him and pick something else to play with.

Help your child show empathy towards others. For example, let’s get Carter some ice for his arm that he hurt. Do you want to hand it to him?

Pretend play is a helpful way to teach about feelings and empathy for others. Use stuffed animals to act out emotions and learn to be empathetic towards others. For example, you could have the stuffed llama say, I’m sad that boy hit me. Then you make the stuffed bear could say, Are you okay? In these moments, direct your child to the llama’s feelings. Point out that she was crying and rubbing her arm where she got hit. Help your child understand getting hit (the action) made the lama feel sad and cry (reaction). Talk about what your child could do to show kindness in this situation.

Early elementary age

One way to show kindness at this age is to help them learn that being right isn’t as important as being kind. Being kind is always the best choice. Your kids can learn to use kind words to explain themselves rather than hurtful words. They can learn how to disagree and still be emphatic.

Middle school age

At this age, you can use books and videos to demonstrate scenarios where kids are showing kindness and compassion. Praise your child’s attempts at showing empathy. Little activities could help your child learn to listen while others are talking. Teach them to ask questions rather than share their own opinions.

High school age

As your child ages, they will have social circles at school or work. They’ll have lots of opportunities to show compassion at home with siblings. Talk to them about their day at school. Maybe you could ask how they felt when a teacher singled out a kid in class or their friend said something unkind about a disabled girl. At this age, they’re more in tune with their feelings, so try to guide them to empathize with others. How do you think that kid felt? What did you do when your friend said that? Please help your child brainstorm what they could do next time this happens.

Share your situations at work where things like this have happened. Discuss social dilemmas with your child to that help them understand different perspectives. For example, should you invite someone to your party who was unkind to another friend coming to the party?

Final Thoughts on Raising Kids to Display Compassion for Others

Empathy is something you learn. Your kids will follow your example as you demonstrate compassion and kindness towards others.

11 Behaviors That Reveal a Toxic Marriage

September 24, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

A toxic marriage is detrimental to your well-being and overall life satisfaction. Sometimes you might not recognize the toxicity, and recognizing the signs can help. Sometimes the only clue you need is whether you’ve been asking yourself if it’s a toxic marriage. Other times, you’ll need a little more information before you know.

Once you recognize the behaviors that reveal a toxic marriage, you can decide what to do from there. You can work to repair the relationship if your partner is willing to do the same. However, sometimes you must make the hard decision to walk away.

It’s not easy to end a toxic marriage, no matter what occurred. This part of your life holds much meaning, and many find it hard to walk away for good. However, you deserve happiness and fulfillment in all areas.

Why You Shouldn’t Tolerate a Toxic Marriage

A toxic marriage can interfere with your mental and emotional well-being. It can cause anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Additionally, it can make you more susceptible to illnesses.

Toxicity can take the spark out of your relationship, leaving you feeling alone, confused, and pessimistic. A toxic marriage can eliminate all happiness from your life and interfere with friendships and family relationships. If you have children, it teaches them that this behavior is normal and acceptable.

Additionally, ignoring toxic behavior can lead to unhealthy patterns. You might stop believing in yourself because of the painful situations you experience. Setting boundaries and stopping harmful behavior helps you regain control of your life and find meaning.

Eleven Behaviors That Reveal a Toxic Marriage

Some toxic marriages appear happy and healthy to onlookers. However, when no one else is around, negative behaviors emerge.

On the other hand, in some instances, many onlookers will notice the issues. Either way, some behaviors reveal a toxic marriage, helping you identify it and make a change.

1 – A Toxic Marriage Makes Partners Less Reliable

Relationship stability relies on reliability from both partners. Someone might be unreliable if they:

don’t respond to communication efforts
continually show up late
usually don’t follow through on commitments or promises
don’t prioritize their responsibilities
refuse to talk about problems
never react the same way
make you feel alone

2 – Hostility and Toxicity Often Occur Together

Hostility occurs when someone reflects their anger onto another person. Your partner might be angry about something you did or an external factor. Either way, they might reflect their anger regarding:

problems at work
family issues
health problems
financial concerns
stress

Once hostility occurs, it can be hard to overcome an argument or come to a resolution. The person often wants to forget the issue or cover it up rather than address it. However, ignoring the problems creates further hostility and resentment.

3 – Lying

Deception isn’t a good sign and indicates a toxic marriage. Your partner might lie about finances or as a way to avoid conflict. They might also lie about cheating or other forms of deception. Whatever it is, lying isn’t a good look and can be incredibly detrimental.

4 – Excessive Jealousy Happens in a Toxic Marriage

While a little bit of jealousy is harmless, it can quickly become toxic. One sign is that your partner constantly texts for updates about where you are and who you’re spending time around. The constant updates limit you and take away your freedom.

Studies show that it shows insecurity and the need to control you. It can damage your marriage and lead to obsessive behavior.

Other signs of excessive jealousy include:

getting angry when you spend time with friends
secretly checking your message and social media accounts
searching online for you or people you associate with
constantly questioning you

5 – Unnecessarily Escalating Fights

When arguments constantly turn into big fights, it’s a sign of a toxic marriage. You might get to a point where you can’t have a conversation without it becoming a fight. It doesn’t allow for overcoming issues and resolving conflict because the tension continues to pile on.

6 – Lack of Connection or Communication Reveals a Toxic Marriage

Connecting and communicating with your partner is essential to maintaining a healthy marriage. Communication prevents and repairs misunderstandings, strengthening your bond. Your partner might not pay attention when you talk, showing disrespect and toxicity.

When you’re in the same room but not talking, it indicates a lack of connection. Additionally, spending more time with your kids than with your partner shows a disconnect. You might not want alone time with your partner, causing you to avoid that time together.

Choosing to ignore issues and moving forward without discussing them shows a lack of communication. Addressing these issues with your partner might be met with excuses, but you shouldn’t give into these answers.

Talking about your issues allows you to overcome problems and connect even during hard times. Without connection and communication, it’ll be hard to save your marriage.

7 – Codependency Is Goes Along With Toxicity

Codependency occurs when one partner feels responsible for meeting the needs of the other. You might sacrifice your well-being to ensure your partner doesn’t have to do anything.

The partner who takes care of the other feels worthless unless needed. On the other hand, the partner receiving the care enables the behavior by continuing to allow it. It’s a toxic situation that doesn’t allow for individuality or growth.

8 – Not Relying on One Another

Marriages involve couples who rely on one another for emotional support. When you don’t turn to one another, it shows toxicity. One of you might reach out to friends or other family members while leaving the other partner out of the situation. However, healthy marriages require discussing issues and what’s going on in life. Your partner should be the person you turn to first.

9 – Overcompensating and Constantly Defending Your Partner

Think about how you talk about your partner when talking with others. You might notice that you overcompensate for the issues by constantly praising your relationship. Overcompensating could be a way to convince yourself that everything is okay while hiding the toxic signs from others.

Likewise, you might frequently find yourself defending your partner to others. Your loved ones might see things that you don’t recognize. When they speak up, you might get defensive and ignore their warnings.

10 – Imagining Your Life as an Individual Could Indicate Readiness to Leave a Toxic Marriage

If either imagines your life without your partner, it could indicate a toxic marriage. Sometimes you’ll notice it when you begin making decisions without discussing them with your partner. When you stop thinking of them before making decisions, it’s a sign that things aren’t working out.

11 – Threatening Behavior and Blaming One Another

It’s a sign of toxicity when someone threatens to hurt you or themselves to manipulate you. Then, they’ll blame you for the reaction or feelings. They’ll also likely blame you for everything that goes wrong.

Can you Save a Toxic Marriage?

A toxic marriage is detrimental to your well-being, but you can save it if you want to make it work. It can help if you and your partner are willing to listen to one another and consider differing opinions.

You can communicate things that upset you with your spouse without being hurtful. They should address you the same way, avoiding insulting or condescending words.

However, if one of you doesn’t want to talk about issues, there isn’t much you can do to save it. Mean jokes or negative judgment show a lack of respect and could indicate an irreparable situation. Refusing to acknowledge your strength and belittle your accomplishments is also a negative sign.

You can move forward together if willing to work and make positive changes. Aside from positive communication, some tips for saving a toxic marriage include:

accept the problems and work on them
avoid negative thoughts and energy
set and enforce boundaries
focus on the bigger picture
avoid making a decision when you’re angry
focus on staying calm
be kind
practice forgiveness
focus on improving your mental health
remain productive and invest in yourself
own up to your mistakes
let go of the past
practice compassion
seek therapy

What to Do if You Can’t Save Your Toxic Marriage

Leaving a toxic marriage is hard, and you’ll likely experience pain and heartbreak. While embracing your newfound freedom, focusing on healing is the best thing to do. You can begin to heal by:

feeling your emotion, even when it’s hard
be patient with your healing process
limit contact with your ex, even when co-parenting
let go of the desire for closure
surround yourself with supportive people; write about how you feel and what you went through
learn from your mistakes
practice self-love and take care of yourself
don’t blame yourself

Final Thoughts on the Behaviors That Reveal Someone Trapped in a Toxic Marriage

A toxic marriage is detrimental to your life, family, and well-being. It’s essential to focus on the good things in your life and remember that you deserve more than a toxic relationship. Ending a marriage is scary, but if you find you can’t save it, you can move forward alone and heal.

You don’t have to settle and shouldn’t put your emotional health and happiness after your partner’s. It can cause you to stop growing as an individual and lead to other detrimental effects.

Put yourself first and do what it takes to make beneficial changes in your life. You deserve happiness and fulfillment whether you can save your toxic marriage or not. Love yourself, and you’ll get through everything.

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