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Psychologist Explains 5 Skills To Be More Assertive

September 12, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Many people wish to become more assertive but don’t know where to start. Assertiveness involves stating your feelings and needs in a kind yet firm manner. It also means standing up for yourself and not tolerating disrespect.

Assertive people manage to find the right balance between timidity and aggressiveness. Self-assured people don’t shout or bark orders, but they don’t sit quietly while others take advantage.

Many people struggle with assertiveness due to upbringing, childhood trauma, or personality. For example, if you grew up in an invalidating environment, you probably thought that your feelings didn’t matter.

Adverse childhood experiences may have caused you to bottle up your emotions to please your parents. Since they neglected your feelings, you likely never learned how to assert yourself. Everyone deserves to have their voice heard, but this becomes a foreign concept for people with childhood trauma.

Even if you didn’t experience childhood emotional neglect, you might have a shy personality. Perhaps you prefer to blend into the background and not ruffle any feathers. Doing so may feel safer, but it doesn’t allow you to grow and learn self-confidence.

However, practicing a few essential skills can teach one to become more assertive.

Psychologist Reveals 5 Ways to Become More Assertive

Below, we’ll review these skills to help you become more confident and outspoken.

1. Be Mindful of Your Feelings to Increase Assertiveness.

You must learn how to accept your emotions first to become more assertive. If you don’t allow yourself to feel, you can never set clear boundaries with others. Healthy relationships begin with you, so become your own best friend by practicing self-compassion. The first step to healing involves finding the courage to look deep within yourself.

Become aware of your emotions, and watch them as they pass through your consciousness. If you can learn to identify emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them, it makes it easier to communicate with others.

Being able to express yourself confidently makes you more approachable and creates harmonious relationships. Since mindfulness helps with emotional regulation, it promotes a deeper connection with ourselves and others.

2. Believe That Your Thoughts Are Valid.

Being mindful of your feelings will teach you to express yourself clearly, and assertively. But first, you must believe that you deserve to have your emotions heard. Even if you feel comfortable with your inner self, you may still struggle with self-worth.

Outdated beliefs from your childhood may keep you from communicating with others effectively. If you harbor doubts about the validity of your feelings, you may decide to keep them to yourself.

So, the next step to becoming more assertive involves believing in yourself. Practice self-love and remember that you deserve to express your thoughts like anyone else. It doesn’t mean you have to shout over people or act defensively. It just means knowing your voice matters and permitting yourself to speak up.

3. To Be More Assertive, Respond Instead of React.

You might think reacting before anyone else can get the upper hand shows assertiveness. However, responding emotionally only causes the other person to become defensive, creating a vicious cycle.

Having emotional intelligence means taking time to process the situation before reacting. Sifting through your emotions first allows you to cool down and avoid saying anything you don’t mean.

If you react out of fear or anger, the situation will likely spiral into chaos. Becoming assertive involves learning to control your emotions so they don’t get the best of you. By mastering your feelings, you can approach situations with a clearer mind.

Think of this step as “zooming out” on your emotions to get a better vantage point. Taking time to reflect helps you see the bigger picture instead of blowing things out of proportion.

4. Try to Put Yourself in the Other Person’s Shoes.

Most people think being assertive only involves themselves, so they don’t consider anyone else. But, an essential step in becoming more emphatic is listening to others. If you acknowledge their feelings and show empathy, they’re more likely to lower their defenses.

Everyone wants to feel heard and respected, starting with the person in the mirror. If you can see the situation through someone else’s eyes, you will understand their motivations and reactions. It makes them more willing to listen to your perspective and find common ground.

5. Consider How You Want to Deliver an Assertive (but not Aggressive) Message.

The final skill to becoming more assertive involves putting everything together that you’ve learned so far. It’s time to test your new skills and knowledge so that assertiveness becomes second nature. When communicating with others, you must consider the setting, situation, and message you want to deliver.

For instance, imagine that your neighbors constantly blast loud music when you’re trying to sleep. If you don’t talk to them often, you probably wouldn’t yell over the fence asking them to turn it down. Instead, you might look up their phone number and give them a call. Or, perhaps you’d knock on their door and politely but firmly ask that they keep it down.

Licensed psychologist Jonice Webb, Ph.D., discussed this scenario. She recommended saying something like this to your neighbors:

“It sounds like you are having a lot of fun over there, but I’m having trouble falling asleep with the loud music. Would you be able to turn the music down around midnight from now on? I’d really appreciate it since I have work in the morning.”

In this situation, the person clearly stated their needs while respecting the neighbor. So, being assertive doesn’t necessitate rudeness – it simply means expressing yourself without feeling guilty about your emotions.

Final Thoughts on Skills to Become More Assertive

Some people struggle with low self-esteem and feel shameful about stating their needs. Childhood trauma and neglect may cause someone to become passive out of fear of rejection. However, anyone can learn how to become assertive with the tips above. Above all else, learning to become your best friend and showing self-compassion will foster confidence. If you can mend your relationship with yourself, it will also reflect in your other connections.

Mentally Healthy People Do These 15 Things Without Realizing It

September 12, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

Do you consider yourself a mentally healthy person? It’s challenging today to keep things together, but some people can let things roll off their backs and maintain their mental health. Many factors determine your mental health, and you must be proactive about it just like you are about your physical well-being.

Even if you’re not where you desire to be from a mental perspective, you can practice each day to improve. The most significant factor in making better choices is to change your mindset. You can improve your overall well-being by making minor adjustments and taking one step at a time.

Fifteen Habits and Characteristics of a Mentally Healthy Person

Perhaps you think your mental health is good and you’re strong on the inside. Here’s a list of common characteristics that people with good mental well-being maintain. See how you rank and identify the areas you need to improve.

1. Mentally Healthy People Never Take Things Too Personally

It’s good to laugh at your own mistakes. When someone loves and accepts themselves for who they are, they don’t wear their emotions on their sleeves. Even negative comments or constructive criticism don’t send them crying into the next room.

They’ve learned that they can’t take things too personally, or it will destroy them. To stay healthy mentally, they must remain optimistic and realize that people often say things that come out differently than they mean. They also know that being mentally healthy has everything to do with their response to these silly comments.

While they may have doubts and insecurities, they keep these concealed as they feel good about themselves, and they’re not going to let a simple comment tear them down.

2. Keep Realistic Expectations

No one has a perfect life, as there’s not a thing that exists in this world. People often find that they’re overwhelmed by the negative emotions they feel when life knocks them down.

The difference between these people is that they learn from their mistakes and move on. They don’t ruminate on all the errors they’ve made in life. They don’t set unrealistic expectations for themselves or others.

3. Mentally Healthy People Know How to Make Decisions

The mentally healthy person has no issues with taking responsibility for their life, which includes making decisions. They’re not going to stress out if it’s the wrong call, as they know they will fix it. They’re accountable for their mistakes and know that wise judgment can help them make informed choices.

Those who tend to be mentally unhealthy won’t accept that they have any flaws. They have trouble making decisions and are often indecisive. They’re so afraid of pain or loss that they usually stay in toxic situations and are scared to make a move.

Being indecisive is caused by anxiety, and did you know that it’s a significant component in hoarding disorders? According to the National Library of Medicine, the task of discarding possessions is overwhelming to some. They believe they can use these items later and fear getting rid of them. The study found that out of 120 people, 87 struggled with an anxious attachment style.

Now hoarding disorder is just one type of anxiety, but many other types of anxiety disorders are at the root of an indecisive person. It shows poor mental health and often is linked to past traumas.

4. Engaging in Creative Thinking

When you’re mentally healthy, you maintain a positive attitude and stay full of hope. Your mind isn’t full of chaos and clutter that stunts your creativity. You’re great at problem-solving, as you can look outside the box.

Your spirits remain high as you’re full of passion and vigor. Being mentally strong means you’re always ready for adversities and adventures, and never underestimate what life might throw your way.

5. Accepts Themselves

Someone strong mentally can accept themselves. They love the skin they’re in and are not constantly trying to be something they’re not. They don’t engage in activities like people pleasing, as this isn’t being true to themselves.

When someone doesn’t have this level of self-love, they often struggle with anxiety, depression, and unnecessary stress. These individuals often seek validation from others instead of learning to be comfortable with who they are in life.

6. Maintains High Self-Confidence

To be mentally healthy in today’s world, you must keep your self-confidence in check. Even though the world may be crashing around you, you have the confidence to keep going amidst the danger.

It would help if you believed in yourself enough to know that you’ll be victorious no matter what’s happening. When you don’t have this level of security, you deal with fears and irrational thoughts.

7. Mentally Healthy People Are Comfortable in Social Settings

If you want to gauge if someone’s mentally healthy, watch them in social settings. Someone comfortable will be talking and laughing with everyone around them. The person who struggles with their mental health might tower in the corner and hope no one sees them.

While this scenario describes someone with social anxiety, it doesn’t always mean that someone who isn’t outgoing struggles from this type of angst. However, someone with robust mental health can quickly build social networks and doesn’t need to impress people.

8. Flexibility Comes Naturally to Mentally Healthy People

Mentally healthy people are much like the chameleon. These animals move very slowly so they can camouflage themselves to avoid getting hurt. According to Reference, the chameleon’s ability to alter their environment is how they survive.

Keeping mentally sane is about learning to adjust to the ebbs and flows of life. The chameleon can change colors to blend in with whatever atmosphere, as they’re flexible. A person who maintains sound mental health has learned to do the same. They don’t get too worked up about anything; they switch into survival mode.

9. A Mentally Healthy Person Controls Their Reactions

You cannot control everything in your life; you’ll drive yourself mad if you try. Being mentally strong means you don’t hold grudges, demonstrate violent expressions, and retreat from the world due to excessive anxiety. You understand what’s happening around you; don’t let it affect you.

Those who have good mental health don’t try to control things they know they can’t possibly manage. Instead, they work on their response to things and learn how to react positively to matters outside their realm of control. They would never engage in negative emotions that cause significant issues, such as jealousy, envy, and rage.

Sure, this person’s hit rock bottom a few times in life. They get back up and keep trying rather than focusing on their failures.

10. Good Mental Health Often Means High Self-Awareness

A good self-awareness level is one of the critical characteristics of a mentally healthy individual. They regularly assess, reflect, and use introspection to help them grow and change. They can quickly identify bad habits and areas where they need to improve.

When they have this higher level of knowledge of what goes on in their mind, they have clarity, a better attitude, and can make the right choices in their life. Sure, they have a broad spectrum of emotions, but they utilize self-control to keep things in check.

11. Good Mental Health Maintains High Self-Respect

Being mentally healthy means that you respect your friends as well as yourself. You maintain a level-headed way of life and can embrace the differences of others. Those with poor mental health don’t have respect for others or themselves. They feel like any diversity is a personal attack when it’s nothing of the sort.

12. Keeps Happy and Healthy Relationships

It’s challenging to manage your relationships. Each association needs nurturing to maintain it properly. One of the vital characteristics of a healthy individual is they take the time and make an effort to keep these connections. Having healthy relationships dramatically affects your overall well-being.

Harvard Medical School’s Robert Waldinger is a psychiatrist studying the benefits of healthy relationships. His study comprises information from 80 years of research. The findings stated that those who engage in beneficial associations are happier and have better health.

When strong social connections form deep bonds, people live longer, have fewer health issues, and have better overall well-being. Additionally, the study showed that those who don’t have such healthy connections often show an early cognitive decline and more health problems.

13. Meditates and Takes Time to Relax

Being healthy means having good coping skills. A person with good mental health knows they need a way to detox from all the negativity they ingest in a day. They find ways to cope with stress by using positive methods to cleanse their mind.

14. Have a Strong Support System to Increase Mental Health

You can’t develop good mental health overnight, as it’s a process that comes with a learning curve. One thing that mentally sane people have learned is that they need a support system. When life does get tough, they have that network of people they can call to help bring them back to a more even place.

15. Eats a Healthy and Balanced Diet

Most importantly, your diet links directly to your mental well-being. Your brain needs nourishment from fruits, vegetables, protein, and grains. These folks know they can’t stay mentally sharp if they live on fast food and processed junk. They monitor what goes into their body, as it’s vital.

Final Thoughts on the Key Traits of Mentally Healthy People

Does any of these characteristics sound like you? If you can identify with a few things on this list, then kudos! However, if you’ve identified a few things that show that you’re not as mentally healthy as you would like, you can always work to fix things. When you learn to change your mind, you can change your life.

15 Signs of Compatibility Between Partners

September 12, 2022 by Chris Butler

Happy couples have one common denominator–compatibility. If you’re not compatible with your partner, then you can’t expect that you’ll have a happy and healthy relationship. Just like your life, relationships go through phases.

Initially, you’re in the infant stage when it’s new and exciting. You’re learning and growing together and exploring the innermost parts of this person. As you’re together longer, you start to find out if you’re a good match and can keep going. If you’re incompatible, you’ll never reach the adult stage in your relationship.

Compatibility isn’t something one person must have, as it takes both parties to have these qualities to make a good connection. When your relationship is harmonious, you can live together, adapt to one another’s lifestyles, and be open to new ideas. If this crucial element is missing from your relationship, it can be disastrous.

Fifteen Signs of Compatibility

How do you know if your relationship has what it takes to make it for the long haul? Are you meant to be together? Here are some signs that indicate you’re compatible.

1. Compatible Partners Share Similar Interests and Goals

Compatibility means that you both have similar interests and goals. You’re both going in the same direction. Wouldn’t it be miserable if you went in one direction and your partner in another?

It’s often said that opposites attract. But how can you spend time together if you don’t like the same things? While you’re dreams and interests don’t have to mirror one another, they should at least be complementary.

2. Compatibility Means You Are Free To Be Yourself

There are few things as bad as a fake person in a relationship. You want someone who allows you to be yourself without exception. You don’t have to change one thing when you’re with them.

You feel very free when you’re together. Compatibility means the freedom to think, speak, and be who you are. So many people are fake because they want to attract someone they believe is out of their league. Consequently, the foundation of your relationship must thrive on trust, and you must be honest with one another.

Many people turn to the internet to find love as their local options are limited. Interestingly, the Federal Trade Commission reported a loss of over $1.3 billion to romance scams in the past year.

Now, while your partner may be dating you in person and not on the internet, most people lure others with lies to make themselves seem more appealing. Individuals do this in real life and don’t need a screen to hide behind.

3. Minor Arguments Are Resolved Amicably Between Compatible Partners

It’s only natural for couples to have minor arguments. According to The University of Alabama, a couple who doesn’t have disagreements means that someone isn’t being honest. You can’t expect to always get along with someone who will do and say things that upset you.

The difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships is the ability to settle the conflict amicably. The argument doesn’t escalate to exchanging harsh words, childish behavior, and going without speaking for days. You don’t need a third party to step in to resolve things, as happy couples have enough respect for one another that they want to work it out.

4. Compatibility Includes Physical Appeal

While some folks think you shouldn’t base your relationship on looks, it’s usually what attracts you to this person initially. Being compatible with one another does require some physical attraction.

How can you develop feelings for someone who doesn’t appeal to you? Your attraction to one another helps to build a foundation that allows other things to follow.

5. You Become Family

The family lines seem to blur as you settle into a pattern of togetherness. You consider them part of your family unit, and no one better try to come between you two.

6. Compatible Partners Avoid Finger Pointing

It’s very childish for couples to play the blame game. Pointing fingers at one another are never the way to resolve anything. In an unhealthy relationship, one party refuses to take the blame for anything they’ve done wrong and is eager to point the finger at the other person.

This is a red flag for lack of compatibility and shows some selfish and manipulative behaviors under the surface.

7. Vulnerability Feels Safe Between Compatible Partners

When a relationship has a good foundation, you have no problems sharing your deepest thoughts and secrets. You know that no matter what you tell this person, it will not affect the relationship. Being vulnerable with one another is what makes happy couples, as you feel free enough to tell them anything.

8. You Prioritize Your Relationship

In a relationship, you must be each other’s top priority. You will often put your partner’s needs above yours, and their satisfaction and happiness are essential to you. When you’re compatible, you want to make each other feel loved and meet your needs.

9. Never Ashamed of One Another

When you’re compatible and find the one you long to be with, you’ll be proud to be with them in public. You’re never embarrassed or want to stay home to avoid being seen, as you want to show them to the world.

10. You Don’t Try to Change One Another

It’s a trainwreck when you go into a relationship with the idea that you can change someone. If you’re compatible, you accept each other for their weaknesses and strengths.

You don’t try to change one another, as this can create a toxic atmosphere. Happy couples learn to embrace their differences.

11. Similar Philosophies or Core Values

Having a partner who was raised with similar values and morals is helpful. However, even if you don’t have these similarities, you can see things from a standard lens. When you don’t understand one another, it causes endless misunderstandings.

Suppose you never went to college and feel that paying all that money for education is a waste of money. Consequently, your partner thinks that a college education is non-negotiable. When it comes to parenting, how will you raise your children regarding future schooling?

This situation could cause many arguments, especially as every person wants their kids to do great things. Thankfully, you both can work through these differences by looking at each other’s points. You see a way to work through what might be massive issues and tear some people apart.

12. Compatibility Means You Are Patient With One Another

It’s often said that patience is a virtue, but it’s vital when it comes to relationships. If you’re not patient with one another, it causes significant issues. An inpatient partner is a red flag of incompatibility.

When someone shows traits of being impatient, they push you along like everything is in a hurry. They expect you to move mountains, while in many instances, they won’t lift a finger. These people often have unrealistic expectations of their partners, and many have selfish or narcissistic tendencies.

13. Compatible Partners Are Willing to Sacrifice for One Another

One piece of chocolate cake is left, so you offer it to your partner because you want them to have it. Sure, you want that cake so bad you can taste it, but you prefer them over yourself. Love is never selfish, and it always comes with great sacrifice.

You may give up your dream home on the side of town you love because you want to be closer to work. Your partner wants six kids as they grew up in a big family, but they will settle for two because you don’t want that many children. Relationships are all about compromise and sacrifices, but when there’s compatibility between the two of you, it just seems to work out.

14. You Grow Together

Compatibility means growth. A couple doesn’t start at 25 years old and remains in the same spot in life at fifty. You grow together in many aspects, which include financial, spiritual, and otherwise.

Healthy relationships cause you to want to be better and do more. If you’re not growing together, you’re growing apart.

15. Compatibility Breeds Greater Trust

If you’re ever in the presence of happy couples with compatibility, you will notice the trust between them. They know that their partner isn’t going to say or do anything that would upset them.

They respect one another and know those proverbial boundaries that are so important. The love of a compatible couple is absolute and concrete.

Final Thoughts on Compatibility and a Happy, Healthy Romantic Relationship

The key to a successful relationship is compatibility. All relationships take plenty of hard work but knowing if you’re compatible from the start is helpful. Why put all this work into someone when you’re not going to make it anyway?

So many people focus on the physical aspects and the three words that make your heart swoon: “I love you.” However, they miss the most important things. After the romance is done and the words have been spoken, if you have nothing in common, it’s challenging to make things work. It’s undoubtedly better to find out if you’re compatible sooner rather than later, so you don’t waste time with the wrong one.

Pet Psychologists Explain Why Cats Display Psychopathic Traits

September 11, 2022 by Power of Positivity

Typically, you don’t associate the word psychopath with your pet. But, pet psychologists have found a surprising connection between psychopathic behavior and cats. They say felines display common traits of a human psychopath. So, whether you agree with these pet psychologists, the six traits researchers say prove that your cat could be a psychopath.

A behavioral study uncovered psychopathic traits in felines.

A study at the University of Liverpool and Liverpool John Moores University suggests that cats have some psychopathic behaviors. They say the behaviors vary in degrees from one feline to another. Their results came from a questionnaire they gave to 549 feline owners who they asked to answer specific questions describing their kitties. The questionnaire measured psychopathy in cats. The owners shared examples of their pet’s behavior in the context of these five areas.

Boldness
Disinhibition
Meanness (aggressiveness)
Unfriendliness towards other pets
Unfriendliness toward humans

Feline owners shared examples of how their cats showed these behaviors. For example, one cat owner said their cat torments their prey instead of killing it immediately. As a result, some of the questions they asked on the questionnaire included whether their pet did these things:

Tormented its prey instead of killing it
Dominated the neighborhood
Chased owners or other humans
Picked fights with humans and other pets
Acted undeterred when punished for bad behavior
Ignored scoldings
Made loud yowls and meows for no reason

Researchers found that cats have psychopathy traits that probably helped their wild ancestors find food, mates, and shelter. Pinpointing these undesirable behaviors could help kitty owners better understand their pets.

Pet Psychology Reveals 6 Psychopathic Traits That Cats Display

Do you see these behaviors in your kitty?

1. Aggressiveness (meanness)

Human psychopaths lack empathy. They have no trouble hurting others, often displaying cold-heartedness when pursuing their goals. Cats often show similar behavior in their attitudes towards their owners or other animals. Meanness and disobedience are why some new owners return a kitty to a shelter. Cats may display malice through:

Hissing
Scratching
Biting
Grabbing your legs
Spitting
Growling

If your kitty is acting like this, it’s wise to steer clear of them until they calm down. After a cool-down period, they will usually return to more loving behavior.

2. Disobedience

Felines can be naughty. Your cat may jump on your kitchen table, eat your food and be indifferent to your demands for them to stop. Whether or not they do these things on purpose is hard to know. But kitties are smart, and they can refuse to obey. One woman told the story about her cat pooping on her Bible when she left the cat alone for long periods. Of all the places the cat chose to do their business, pooping on the Bible seemed a great way to get her attention. It did. Some people say cats disobey when they’re bored. This observation may be accurate, but if researchers are correct, cats are psychopaths with little regard for their owners or their owner’s property.

3. Uninhibited

Human psychopaths can’t control their urges or emotions as other people can. They act on impulse. Many of their actions are socially unacceptable. Cats like to be alone and can be manipulative with little regard for humans or other animals. Scientists say that before cats were domesticated, psychopathic behavior may have helped wild cats survive. Domestic cats no longer need to look for food or find a mate. So, their lack of inhibition increases because they don’t have an outlet. Finding ways to keep your cat entertained and challenged will help eliminate these behaviors.

4. Boldness

Psychopaths don’t react to stress in the same way most people do. They lack fear when in situations that most people find incredibly frightening. Similarly, cats display boldness in cases that other animals would find fearful. They love to climb high up in trees or run on top of houses. They face large animals without fear. Incredibly bold cats may need access to tall scratching posts or areas where they can stalk and explore. Otherwise, they’ll get into trouble by starting fights with other pets in the house. Particularly bold cats may become antagonistic towards their owners.

5. Callousness

Someone who is psychopathic lacks normal emotions. They’re cold-hearted and callous towards other people’s suffering. Cats often seem to act this way. If you’ve ever watched a cat catch a mouse, you know this is true. A cat will play with its poor prey, batting it back and forth like a toy instead of killing it.

6. Anti-social

Anti-social behavior and callousness connect to psychopathy in animals. Cats act as aloof and independent animals. Besides that, they don’t always like dogs. If there’s a dog in the house, some cats enjoy tormenting the dog into obedience. It’s frustrating, and this behavior makes felines seem mysterious and hard to understand.

How to help your cat be less of a psychopath?

Of course, you can’t take away your cat’s ancestral wild behavior, but you can help calm its over-the-top behaviors. Here are several tips to help alleviate your feline’s psychopathic traits.

Structure in Playtime

Your cat needs playtime as an outlet for energy. If they don’t have ways of letting go of power, they get into trouble climbing where they shouldn’t or tormenting your dog trying to take a nap.

Every day, schedule time to play with your beloved pet. Some things you can do during your structured playtimes include:

Use cat toys to inspire their curiosity and playfulness. Allow your cat to pounce on the toys to simulate catching their prey.
Use LED lasers to bounce light on the wall so your cat can chase it.
Food dispensing toys to allow them “hunt’ for their food
These playtimes should be no longer than ten minutes to avoid overstimulating your kitty, so they become aggressive.

Check your cat for hyperthyroid issues.

Some of the kitty’s negative behavior could be due to health problems. Older felines are prone to developing hyperthyroidism. Cats with an overactive thyroid gland display behaviors such as these:

Irritability
Insomnia
Weight loss
Huge appetite
Bursts of energy

Talk to your local vet if you notice your pet showing these behaviors. Treatment is medication, surgery to remove the thyroid gland, or radioactive iodine therapy.

Build peace into your house

Your cat’s ancestors were independent hunters. They don’t do well with other animals. Having multiple kitties or other pets in our house can stress cats out. They may exhibit distress by urinating on furniture to mark their territory or pooping outside their litterbox. Of course, some kitties get along with other animals. These felines may even need a friend to play with, But if you notice your cat isn’t happy, find ways to build harmony in your household.

Create a safe outdoor place for your cat

Felines need to creep around to entertain themselves. They’ll get into trouble when cooped up too much. But kitties and other animals can be dangerous to domesticated cats. You can use a harness leash for your cat to allow them time outside. A leash gives them time to explore their backyard safely.

Another solution is to build a catio for your feline. That structure is a little patio or sizeable caged-in area for your feline friend. It’s usually made outside a door or window so your cat can come and go on its own. A catio allows your kitty to enjoy independent outdoor play without fear for their safety.

Accept their behavior

Sometimes it’s best to accept your kitty’s behavior rather than trying to change it. For example, sudden energy bursts are regular for pets. They like zoomies. If you try to stop them, it won’t help them or you. But, of course, if they act dangerously or hurt another pet or person, you must end that kind of behavior immediately. Redirect them when your cat displays unfriendly behavior with toys, treats, or other outlets for their energy.

Cats aren’t alone in their psychopathic behavior.

According to studies, cats aren’t the only animals with psychopathic tendencies. Certain dog breeds have particular traits linked to this behavior. For instance, Basenjis cannot avoid temptations, and bull terriers show indifference to punishment and fearlessness. Besides dogs, researchers say chimpanzees display psychopathic behavior of meanness.

Final thoughts on a study that finds your cat might be a psychopath

Scientists hope learning about cats’ psychopathic tendencies will help improve feline-owner relationships. A better understanding of what makes kitties tick could help reduce the number of felines taken to shelters because of bad behavior. Plus, it could help identify undesirable behaviors of the owners and help create an environment for better behavior. Whether or not you agree with pet psychologists that felines are psychopathic, it’s at least interesting to consider your pet’s psychopathic traits. Your feline may be expressive and unfriendly towards other animals and people.

Feline meanness, boldness, and anti-social behavior are similar to human psychopathic behavior. Of course, each furry friend is unique and displays these behaviors at varying levels. You don’t need to be afraid of your cat’s unusual ways. Pet ownership is a great experience. It helps you learn about your kitties and how to live harmoniously with them.

5 Kinds of Friends Every Person Needs

September 11, 2022 by Chris Butler

When you’re cooking for your family, there are five tastes that they will experience with each meal. Of course, you know these flavors are bitter, salty, sour, sweet, and umami. If you were to look in your kitchen cupboards, you would also find that the foods fit nicely into these categories. But what if you applied these descriptions to the kinds of friends you need for a well-rounded life? Seriously, think about it for a moment. Examine each friendship and the personalities each brings to the table.

If you delve deep and consider the situation, you will see that they also fit into these “taste” groups. Having a wide variety of people backing you in life is beneficial, as the various personalities and relationships can add some much-needed perspective to your life.

Having the right mix of friends would be best- a support group that brings so much to your life. The salty person might seem condescending and hard to handle, but their view on life might be just what you need. Yes, when it comes to friends, it’s ironic to say that you need one who’s umami, sweet, sour, salty, and even bitter, but there’s research to back the importance of all these relationships.

Five Types of Friendships You Need in Your Life

Each friend in your inner circle brings something unique to the table. You know the one you can count on to tell you what you want to hear, and you also see the individual who will tell you the cold, hard truth. Here are the five types of friends everyone needs to keep close to them.

1. Sweet Friends

Who doesn’t love a sweet person? This individual doesn’t have a bad thing to say about anyone. They’re kind and agreeable and want to make everyone around them a little bit better.

The sweet person brings something unique to your friendship, as they remind you every day that you need to be kind to others. They help you shield the negative in life. Furthermore, they help you see the bright side even in the worst situations. Their optimistic outlooks refresh being around them, as they always seem to lift your spirits.

You can count on sweet friends to help you no matter how bad you feel. They won’t judge you, try to tell you everything you’re doing wrong, or be too overbearing. They want to live their best life possible and make you a better person around them.

2. The Salty Individual

When you call someone salty, you probably have many negative images that pop into your mind. However, the salty one is sharp and doesn’t let much get by them. Sure, they’re a bit low in the agreeability factor, but they like to keep things honest in the relationship.

They will not pay you lip service by telling you what you want to hear, and they will be brutally honest. Their blunt nature may be off-putting to some folks, but you need it. Since this person understands the motives and actions of others, they bring healthy skepticism along with them.

This individual is fantastic at helping you look out for your best interests, and they’re quick to spot that scammer. Consequently, a study conducted in 2005 found that women are more trusting by nature than men. While trusting is good, it can also get you into some trouble.

The salty person is the one who helps you rip off the blinders and see things. They don’t beat around the bush or pay lip service with niceties; they live their life with realism.

3. The Sour Person

Who wants a friendship with a sour person? Indeed, this is a fair question. This person is often unfriendly towards others and always has a pessimistic outlook. The fact is that this person may have a few negative moods you will contend with. However, they help you feel empathy.

Negative emotions are a part of life, whether you like them or not. A person who’s always sweet and kind may browse past the negative things. While it’s lovely to be with someone who is always super upbeat and sweet, it’s not always realistic in your relationships.

The sour person will help you to keep things in perspective. A study was conducted in 2013 by Kim and Kim for the Journal of Counseling Psychology. They deemed it essential to validate your negative emotions as much as the positive ones.

While no one wants to focus on the negative, you can’t ignore their existence. The study found that those who acknowledged these negative emotions had higher levels of self-esteem. Ironically, they had lower levels of aggression too.

You certainly don’t want to call the sweet person when you want to grovel in your misery for a few minutes. So the sour individual will share in the grief you feel. But more importantly, they will help you move from this spot.

4. The Bitter Buddy

The bitter person will bring out your envious side, which might motivate your success. They walk around with a chip on their shoulder, feeling that the world owes them something. Nothing they have is good enough, and they’re always jealous of everyone and their achievements.

You’re probably thinking, why would you want someone like this as a friend? According to an article in 2012 by San Jose State University, envy can motivate you. It works similarly to peer pressure.

If you have ever raised children, you know that they go through a phase during the teenage years where their hygiene is lackluster. Have you ever gone into a locker room after gym class? However, you can talk about the importance of wearing deodorant, taking a shower, and brushing your teeth until you are blue in the face.

Let just one student tell your child they have an intense aroma, and it will do more to fix the situation than you ever did. It’s because peer pressure can be motivating too. People feel compelled to change when someone else points out the obvious.

The same thing happens with envy. You want to do the same when you see other people striving and thriving. It gives you the drive to be more persistent on those complex tasks. So it’s not wrong to have a bitter person in your inner circle, as they may motivate you to push beyond your current level to something greater.

5. The Umami Friend

Friends are as diverse as the foods you eat, but one person you want is the umami. This savory person is as wonderful as comfort food on a cold winter’s evening. They bring flavorful portions to your plate.

Having the umami person in your life is essential because they help keep you grounded. This person may have a bit of all the other “tastes” all rolled into one. They can sometimes be sour, sweet, and even bitter, but they know how to manage their emotions.

The umami person is often the old soul. It seems like they’ve always been a part of your life, and you don’t want to picture your life without them. The great thing about these individuals is that they address your many needs, especially when you’re middle-aged.

A study conducted in 2018 by Piotrowski found that long-term friends into the middle-aged years are essential. These folks are a vital part of your fabric. They’ve had many experiences with you over the years and can help you organize a coherent narrative of your life.

What they bring to the table is continuity. Since they’ve been with you for so long, they can help you with your sense of self. These friendships are few and far between, but you’re lucky to find an umami person who will stand by your side.

An umami person might be that friend from kindergarten you still talk to. They hang around when things are great, and they’re not going anywhere when the friendship gets tricky.

Final Thoughts on Friends You Need in Life

You can compare your life to a flower garden. The beauty of these gardens is that there’s diversity. What would your garden look like if it only had daisies or marigolds? However, adding the rose and its fragrant bloom changes the garden and makes it more appealing.

Like each flower, your relationships with your friends bring something unique to your life. While some of your friends might have toxic characteristics, it doesn’t mean everything is terrible. Just like a little bit of envy and peer pressure can give you the push you need to be a better person, so can the right friendships. Diversify your inner circle, and you will notice how much you need all these people.

3 Signs Anxiety Is Ruining Your Life and 3 Ways to Let It Go

September 11, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Anxiety can be a severe and life-changing issue. While certain levels of anxiety are healthy, there are points when those anxious emotions boil over. The stress that results can turn you into your own worst enemy.

It makes sense that anxiety can be so devastating. After all, it’s a sign that your brain is struggling and beginning to malfunction, and you need your brain to be in tip-top shape. It’s the organ that controls every single bodily function you have!

3 Signs Anxiety Is Ruining Your Life

So how can you tell when anxious emotions are taking too big of a toll on you, and what can you do about it? Here are three signs anxiety is ruining your life and three ways to let it go.

1 – Small or Minor Things Push You Over The Edge With Anxiety

You’re like a tightly-wound spring when anxiety is ruining your life. Stress puts you in a constant fight-or-flight state, which means you view everything as a threat. Examples of ways you can be affected include:

An offhand comment causes you to overthink and makes you too anxious to interact with others socially.
A mildly awkward encounter causes you to lose sleep and obsessively replay it in your head.
A minor inconvenience at work makes you question your capabilities and skills.
Someone in your life has fun with other people, and you panic and think you’re going to lose them.
A minor accident, such as knocking over a glass of water, causes you to break down in tears.
A remark from a friend forces you to lash out at them and take things too personally.

Worse still, these things are so small they make you feel even worse about yourself. You feel ashamed because you’re so affected by what seems to be something so minor, and that only makes you even more anxious. It’s a never-ending cycle.

2 – The Stress Means That Everyday Tasks Become Too Difficult

People often overlook the severity of mental health issues in everyday life, but anxiety can be downright crippling. For example, when anxiety makes simple tasks too tricky, you may experience the following situations.

You struggle to get out of bed in the morning and want to stay in bed all day.
You don’t want to go outside and feel compelled to isolate yourself and skip out on errands, necessary appointments, and even work.
You’ll experience severe brain fog that causes you to make many mistakes at simple tasks.
You have trouble concentrating on anything at all.

Once again, it’s clear to see how this contributes to the deadly cycle of unchecked anxiety. When you’re unable to live everyday life, your anxiety worsens, making you more anxious. This outcome is because:

You cannot keep up the comforting rhythm of regular routines, which throws off your bodily rhythm and makes you more anxious.
You’re constantly in fight-or-flight, so stress levels are at an all-time high.
A lack of ability to do otherwise effortless things makes you question yourself and your capabilities.
When isolated, you cannot gain outside, realistic perspectives and can keep making up anxiety-driven ideas in your head.

3 – You Question If The Anxiety Will Ruin Your Life

If you have to ask yourself if anxiety is ruining your life, chances are that it is. People who aren’t struggling with anxious stress don’t wonder if they’re doing OK. However, the moment you start questioning yourself, it’s likely that you’re being severely affected by anxiety.

The human body is a bit of a mystery, but it tries its best to communicate its needs to you via various signals. In the same way, your nerves scream at you to jump away from very hot objects when you touch them, and your stomach growls when you’re hungry, your body doesn’t fail to indicate when something’s wrong.

Mental health is just as important as physical health, and your body knows it. If you’re noticing your anxiety a lot, it’s because your mind and body attempt to inform you that this anxiety is a problem. Do yourself a favor, listen to yourself, and trust that you have your best interests at heart.

3 Ways To Let Anxiety Go

So now you are more attuned to the existence of those anxious thoughts. How do you stop it?

1 – Interact With Others To Release Anxiety

When you’re anxious, sometimes the last thing you want to do is interact with other people. While it’s OK to need some private time to yourself to process your emotions and calm down, things get unhealthy when you isolate yourself entirely for prolonged periods.

In reality, connecting to the people around you is crucial to letting go of anxiety. This even applies to social anxiety, as long as you choose to be around your loved ones or people you feel safe with. Research shows that spending time with others is capable of reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety. Here are some ways to do this:

Give Someone A Hug To Relive Your Stress

Hugging or cuddling someone releases the love hormone known as oxytocin. This reduces feelings of anxiety, helps lower blood pressure, and even improves immunity, according to studies. If you’re not much of a hugger, any physical interaction can produce this effect to a mild extent, such as patting someone on the back or sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with someone.

Play With A Pet

If your social battery isn’t charged enough for human interaction, a pet can be an excellent source of exchange. The same love hormone, oxytocin, is released when you cuddle and play with a pet, and studies even show that animal companionship can relieve anxiety.

Ask For Help

One of the reasons that anxiety is so difficult to overcome is that it traps you in a deadly cycle where you’re too anxious to ask for help, which only makes you more nervous. You may even be overthinking, developing wrong ideas about your worth, and getting it in your head that other people would never help you.

This means you sink further and further into the pit of anxiety. Asking for help can be scary, but it’s essential to letting go of anxiety. You can ask to vent to or talk to a loved one or trusted friend. You can request support in doing something that makes you anxious.

Or you can even get help from a professional counselor or seek out support groups or clubs for things you’re interested in. Finally, you can release your anxiety if you can make connections with others.

2 – Permit Yourself To Feel Anxious

It sounds a little counterproductive, but sometimes, anxiety gets worse because you keep trying to push it aside. Studies have long shown that repressing emotions makes them more robust and can even turn them into something worse. For example, your anxiety over something reasonable, like a job interview, can make you decide that you’re worthless and incapable of doing anything. It’s a pretty deadly cycle.

Anxiety is a normal human emotion. And, even when it’s unrealistic, irrational, and unhelpful, it’s a valuable experience. But unfortunately, many people make their anxiety worse by feeling too ashamed of their emotional experiences. Essentially, anxiety can be a cycle – feeling anxious about feeling anxious makes you more nervous!

This is why you have to permit yourself to experience anxiety. This doesn’t mean bowing to it and validating irrational anxiety. It just means letting yourself feel it without judging yourself. Instead of feeling ashamed, honor the emotion and thank your brain for attempting to protect you. Spending anywhere from one to five minutes peacefully sitting with your anxiety and watching it as a witness can allow it to pass.

3 – Express Yourself Creatively To Prevent Anxiety Attacks

One of the best ways to let go of anxiety is by expressing it in unique and interesting ways. Plenty of people find ways to fully capture the depths of their anxiety through art and other release methods. It can be pretty cathartic to put down all your feelings into a visual, verbal, or creative medium, giving you the chance to process intense, complex, or complicated emotions. Here are some ways to relieve the stress in your life:

Write

Many people keep a journal to express their feelings of anxiety so they can let go of them. This is already a fantastic way to get out everything you think without judging yourself in a completely safe space. For some, direct journaling is sufficient to reduce the severity of their anxiety. You can re-read journal entries at later dates to further process and reflect on them, too. If you need something a little more challenging or less “generic,” you can write stories, poems, lyrics, and other types of prose as a means of artistic expression.

Draw or Paint

Did you know that studies show that art therapy is an effective method for reducing stress, managing anxiety, and aiding in anxiety processing? You can, of course, go for art therapy and sign up for sessions, but you can also harness the wonders of art on your own. Draw, paint, or even color; research shows that coloring books effectively relieve stress!

Let Your Imagination Run Wild

The human brain is a powerful tool. In your head, you can travel to distant lands and do anything you want to do! While chronic daydreaming isn’t healthy, research indicates that your imagination can be a powerful way to neutralize anxiety. You can visualize your happy place, envision an entire fantasy movie scenario for yourself, and think of anything funny, relaxing, or comfortable that you enjoy.

Use Music To Explore Anxiety

Are there songs and pieces that make you feel relaxed or make you want to sing and dance? Turn up the music you love and pay attention to how their beats and tempos affect your body. Which ones reduce your anxiety the most? Which ones can sometimes increase your symptoms? Which ones are just comforting to listen to? Which do you dance to, and which do you sing at the top of your lungs? Make playlists of music that can help you to feel better when you’re anxious, and don’t be afraid to dance, sing, or play instruments along to those songs.

Final Thoughts On How Anxiety Is Ruining Your Life And Ways To Let It Go

Anxiety can drag you down in life. Knowing your anxiety levels will allow you to notice when your anxious emotions are getting too overwhelming. This will enable you to use positive, healthy methods to let go of anxiety so you can continue to live in peace.

Give Someone A Hug To Relive Your Stress

Play With A Pet

Ask For Help

Write

Draw or Paint

Let Your Imagination Run Wild

Use Music To Explore Anxiety

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