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10 Things Never to Say to Someone Struggling Through a Divorce

July 22, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Ending a marriage is a trying time in someone’s life, and there are some things you should never say to them. Use tact and kindness when talking to a friend or loved one who is going through a divorce. You don’t want to say something that will hurt them more.

It’s hard to understand what people are going through if you’ve never gone through a divorce. You might want to give false encouragement, but it never helps, even when intended with kindness. Remember that the person is likely grieving and healing, so be mindful when communicating with them.

There are many reasons a marriage can end, but the reason doesn’t matter in the long run. The only thing that matters is that it happens, and the people involved will be hurt. It can make them feel isolated, especially when it seems like people are always saying things to make it worse.

You want to say the right thing, and the last thing you want to do is make the person feel worse. Your comfort and support can fall flat if you’re unaware of how to handle the situation.

What Not to Say to Someone Struggling Through a Divorce

Life changes, and the people in your life change, too. Sometimes, married couples stop being a team and only focus on individuality. Relationships go through highs and lows, and sometimes couples can’t overcome the struggles.

Some of your well-meant comments can be incredibly hurtful during this time. Knowing what you should never say to someone struggling through a divorce can help. When you know what not to say, it’s easier to figure out what you should say. Kindness matters at this time.

1. I know exactly how you feel right now.

Even if you’ve been divorced, there’s no way you can know how someone else feels in this situation. When you assume, it minimizes the person’s feelings and makes them feel alone. You might have had a similar experience, but theirs is unique because it happened in their life, not yours.

2. Divorce is going to destroy your kids.

Parents already guilt-trip themselves enough regarding their children. They’ve likely already beat themselves up for how the divorce will affect their kids.

The last thing you should do is voice the negativity that already runs through their minds. Children do better when their parents are happy, so it’s best to avoid saying how harmful it will be.

3. Maybe you could remarry them later on.

Don’t use this phrase if someone opens up about why their marriage is ending. Even if the issues are resolvable, the last thing they want to hear is that they could try again. There’s too much grief involved in separating for them to think this way.

4. They’ll regret what they did and come back eventually.

For starters, you can’t promise that this situation will happen. Don’t give false encouragement because it can make it hard for the person to let go. Even if their ex does come back, it doesn’t minimize the pain right now.

5. You should be over it by now.

Everyone grieves, processes, and heals at different paces. It can take a while to get over the end of a marriage. Don’t rush the person or make it seem like they’re not healing correctly.

6. I’m glad you’re not with your ex anymore.

You might not have liked the person’s ex, but this isn’t the time to say so. Even if it was the time, it isn’t your conversation to start. The person you’re talking to loved their ex at one point, and you don’t want to hurt them with your insults.

This comment can also make it seem like you don’t care that they are in pain. You don’t want to minimize the person’s feelings or the hardship they’re going through.

7. My partner is hard to live with, too.

Divorce occurs for more reasons than being hard to live with. This statement only reminds the person that your relationship is ongoing while theirs ended. Comparing your daily struggles to this life-changing situation is hurtful.

8. I would try working it out because I don’t believe in divorce.

Everyone likely feels this way at some point. Going into a marriage, people believe they’ll work through every problem. However, it can happen to anyone, and this comment won’t help.

It will only make the person feel bad about their decision or remind them of their heartbreak if it wasn’t their choice. Either way, pushing your values and beliefs isn’t ideal.

9. Why did you two decide to divorce?

It’s natural to be curious, but keep the questions to yourself. The person going through the divorce is the one who gets to decide when and how much to tell. They’ll confide if they want to, and you must respect their boundaries.

10. Did you consider going to marriage counseling before the divorce?

The answer to this question is personal, and it’s not your business to inquire about. It sends the message that someone could have done something to prevent the split. Plus, if a friend is struggling through the divorce, it’s a little late for marriage counseling anyway.

What to Say Instead When You Want to Show Kindness to Someone Going Through a Divorce

Now that you know what you should never say to someone struggling through a divorce, it’s time to learn what you should say. You want to employ kindness. Please make the person feel supported and loved while guiding them down the best path. Ignoring the situation won’t make it better, so try saying something that’ll help or bring comfort.

1. All that matters right now is focusing on yourself.

Someone going through a separation will worry about many things and put themselves last. Remind them to focus on themself because it’s the only thing that’ll pay off long-term. They can regain energy, discover what they need, find inner peace, and manifest success by focusing on themselves.

2. Your kids will be okay if you put yourself first for a little while.

Telling a parent to focus on themselves doesn’t always go well. Understandably, they’ll often voice concerns about their children. Remind them that their children will be okay and do even better with a fulfilled parent.

3. It’s okay to reach out for divorce support.

Sometimes people in this situation isolate themselves, thinking it’s better that way. Let them know that there are people who support them, and it’s okay to ask for it. Listening with empathy is an act of kindness that can make a difference.

4. You’re in a hard situation, and I’m sorry.

Not everyone can relate to this situation, but you can acknowledge the despair. Even if you can’t imagine how the person feels, you know it’s not good. Acknowledge the struggle, and they’ll know you aren’t trying to minimize it.

5. I’ve been through something similar, so let me know if you want to hear what helped me.

Rather than saying you know how they feel, say this instead. It lets the other person know that they’re not alone, and it doesn’t force them to listen to your story.

This statement also shows that you aren’t making assumptions about their situation. Leaving it up to them if they want to continue the conversation gives them a little comfort and control.

6. I’m here to help with transporting the kids or if you need someone to talk parenting with.

When the person has kids, you don’t want to compare your single parenting journey with theirs. Everyone’s parenting journeys are different, and comparisons won’t help either of you. Instead, acknowledge how hard it can be and offer your assistance.

7. I’m proud of you for making such a hard decision.

You don’t have to agree with someone’s decision to acknowledge the difficulty of it. Trust that the person is making the best choice for their life.

It had to have been a tough decision, no matter how things happened or why. You might think you would never do the same, but it’s not fair to compare when you aren’t living their life.

8. How are the kids handling things?

The children will be okay, but it’s comforting for the parent to know someone else cares. It also allows you to help if the kids need anything.

You can be a positive role model in the child’s life during this time. However, you must be willing to reach out and ask.

9. I’m here anytime you want to talk or need something.

The person might not want to talk, but it’s still nice to know you’re there. Eventually, they’ll be ready to talk about it, and you’ll be the one they turn to. Don’t try to force them, but always be willing to listen with empathy and kindness.

10. It’s hard to be strong, but you can do it and will make it through this divorce.

Don’t imply that this journey will be easy. Instead, remind the person that they can get through it. It’ll give them faith in themselves and allow them to recognize their inner strength.

Final Thoughts on Things Never to Say to Someone Struggling Through a Divorce

Divorce is different for everyone, and no one can understand unless they’ve been through it. The only thing you can do to make your person feel better is to be supportive and loving. Let them know that they aren’t alone, and recognize that you know they’re going through a hard time.

Avoid saying these phrases because it could make the person feel worse. If you’ve already said them, it’s not too late to reach out and try again. Most hurting people only need to know they are loved and have support and kindness.

9 Ways Empaths Can Help Others Without Absorbing Their Pain

July 21, 2022 by Kristen Butler

If you’re empathetic, you know all about absorbing emotional pain when you try to help others. Do you have problems with simple tasks like watching TV or a movie? Being a physical empath can affect your emotional health, as you seem to catch other people’s fatigue, emotions, and illnesses.

You may suffer from “empathic illnesses,” which is common among highly sensitive people.” While the feelings and symptoms you experience are genuine to you, they belong to someone else. Have you ever heard of sympathetic pains?

During pregnancy, it’s not uncommon for the father to experience similar pains to that of his partner. It’s a phenomenon called Couvade Syndrome, and it affects more than 20-80 percent of expectant fathers. According to Frontiers in Psychology, psycho-social stressors and hormonal changes cause the man to feel similar pangs.

While a father may feel this during his partner’s pregnancy, a physical empath feels these sensations every time they get into a crowd of people. Going out to eat or to the movies can be a real challenge, especially when you’re a sponge absorbing the feelings and emotions of others.

Are You a Physical Empath?

A physical empath is different than a traditional empath who feels emotions. Here’s a little quiz that can help you see if you fit into this category. Ask yourself each of these questions, and how many “yes” or “no” answers you have will be the deciding factor.

1. Are you tired, sick, or overwhelmed in crowded social situations?

2. Do you often feel anxious or sick when you’re around someone anxious or ill?

3. Have you ever felt exhausted when you’ve been around someone who is acted angry or hostile?

4. Have you been to the doctor to run many medical tests only to find out that nothing is wrong with you?

5. Do others often call you a hypochondriac or say you’re too sensitive?

6. Have you ever sat by someone who appeared friendly and well-rounded, but you started having weird sensations and felt exhausted being next to them?

7. Do you suffer from chronic fatigue for which there is no medical explanation?

8. Does going out in public bother you so much that you would rather stay home alone?

How did you score? If you answered more than six of these questions with a “yes,” it’s a good indication that you might be a physical empath. Answering three or fewer “yes” questions means you’re likely not one of these highly sensitive people. Consequently, you don’t have to be an empath to be affected when you help others.

How to Help Others Without Absorbing Their Pain

Have you ever thought you were a hypochondriac because you frequently feel sick? Perhaps people have told you that you tend to exaggerate your health and wellbeing. Empaths often go to the doctor seeking answers to why they feel so sick.

Sadly, they often hear there’s nothing wrong with them, as this is not a condition that medical science fully understands. Realizing that you’re a physical empath can be quite eye-opening, as it can explain much of what’s going on in your life. Thankfully, you can learn coping skills and tricks to help you.

When you learn practical coping skills, you can still enjoy life and help others, but you won’t have these physical burdens. Here are some things for you to try.

1. Put Distance Between You and the Source

Did you know that if you distance yourself at least 20 feet from the suspected source, it can change everything? You’ll feel instant relief when you leave the oppression of the emotions attacking you. You don’t have time for these empathetic illnesses, so change seats, pick another lane, and find a way to distance yourself from the source.

2. Practice Meditation After You Help Others

Meditation is one of the best ways to counteract emotional or physical distress. Since you can meditate at work, at home, or in a public venue, these tricks can help you wherever.

If all else fails, find yourself a public bathroom where you can close the door and practice this ancient art. You want to focus on love, positivity, and purging those negative feelings to calm yourself. It only takes a few minutes to start feeling better.

3. Be Self-Aware

When you realize your triggers, you can easily remove yourself from the situation as an act of protection. Becoming self-aware allows you to acknowledge the emotions and feelings that aren’t healthy for you, and you can keep from absorbing them. When you help others, it’s pretty rewarding, but you need to learn how to separate their emotions and problems from you.

4. Learn How to Evaluate the Situation

Assume you’re out to dinner with your friends. You feel shaken and like you’re coming down with the flu. You felt fine until a gentleman came and sat behind you at another table.

Yes, you might be coming down with an illness. However, as a physical empath, you must realize that you could be absorbing the emotions of the person close to you. You must first determine if it’s your problem or someone else’s.

Get up and go to the restroom, or you should take a quick walk outside. Does the feeling leave when you remove yourself from the situation? If you feel remarkably better, it can be your absorbing someone else’s issues.

When you help others, you must learn how to evaluate the situation, as it can save you much heartache. Pinpointing where these negative emotions are coming from can help you find resolve.

5. Immerse Yourself in Water

Sure, you want to help others, but you must learn to release all this negative energy you absorb afterward. One quick way to eliminate some of these empathetic illnesses is to take a bubble bath or shower. This is an easy way to dissolve the stressors you’ve absorbed.

Why not add some Epsom salt or an herb, like lavender oil, to your waters? When you’re soaking in minerals, it can help you to purify and detox your body, which is going to make you feel so much better.

6. Learn to Say “No” if You Don’t Feel Able to Help Others

When’s the last time you told someone “no?” One of the reasons why so many empaths feel so overwhelmed is that you don’t know how to set boundaries for yourself. You can control how much time you invest in people who stress you out.

If you know that going to your sister’s house for a family gathering will cause significant physical discomfort, you have the right to refuse the invitation. You can gracefully decline things in life that make you feel uncomfortable. Highly sensitive people love to help others, but you must remember to take care of yourself first.

7. Recognize Your Vulnerable Points

While you want to help others, you must realize that you have vulnerable areas that you need to protect. When you’re stressed out, do you feel it in your gut, your head, or have digestive upset? Some people get headaches when experiencing empathetic illnesses, so you must learn the triggers to help you comfort the area.

Once you determine the area is being affected by the emotions of others, place your hand there. Now, think positive thoughts and radiate good energy to the site. It will provide comfort and soothe the most affected region.

8. Ground Yourself

Grounding techniques are beneficial for those who help others. Careers like doctors, nurses, psychologists, and other professionals dealing with people and their emotions must do these exercises. Grounding connects you back with the Universe and puts you on an even kilter.

One of the best ways to do this is to take off your shoes and walk outside barefoot. Walk around and feel the vibrations of the earth between your toes. You can feel the coldness of the planet penetrate your feet, and you can release some of your stress and negativity back into the earth.

According to an article on the National Library of Medicine, grounding is a great way to reconnect you with the earth. Some call this practice earthing, as you will absorb the electrons from the ground that can help heal physiological dysfunction.

9. Visualize A Glass Wall

Visualization is an excellent tool that highly sensitive people use for protection. Imagine an energy field surrounding you that others cannot penetrate.

Another way to do this is to imagine that there’s a glass wall you’ve built to protect yourself from negative energy. Now, picture adverse forces bouncing off you when it hits the wall or comes into your positive energy field.

Final Thoughts on How Empaths Must Engage in Self-Care When They Help Others

Helping others is always good, but when you’re an empath, you must learn how to overcome empathetic illnesses that can attach to you. By practicing these strategies, you can learn to create a safe space where you’re protected.

Sure, there will be times when you pick up on the pain and despair of others, but you will be better equipped to handle it. You can allow yourself to bloom and visit places you usually wouldn’t when you learn how to channel the negative energies that often affect you.

8 Reasons Why Being in Love Might Not Save a Relationship

July 21, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Being in love is a blessing, but it’s not always enough to save a relationship. Healthy romances require much more than love, and it’s easy to see why when you think about it. No matter how much you love each other, it won’t always keep you together.

You might have thought everything would work out if someone loved you enough. Likewise, you might have experienced an unhappy relationship but were afraid to leave because of being in love. These situations often happen because many think love is the leading factor in relationship length.

You’ll be unhappy if you think you can love someone enough to make the relationship work. You won’t find happiness until you focus on what’s best for you and your relationship. There’s so much to finding the best romance for you; being in love is only one aspect.

Learning why being in love might not save a relationship can help you understand why something doesn’t feel right. In addition to love, a good relationship also must have the following:

trust
respect
communication
honesty
commitment

Eight Reasons Why Being in Love Might Not Save a Relationship

You might be in love, but something feels off about the relationship. Sometimes, being in love isn’t enough to make things last; the sooner you handle it, the better. These reasons will help you understand why love might not save your relationship.

1. Communication is Essential

Communication is essential in a healthy relationship. Without it, you won’t be able to overcome disagreements and setbacks. You won’t get to know each other deeply, as someone will be holding back.

A lack of communication doesn’t only involve not speaking at all. Sometimes, when you talk to your partner, you speak too quickly and loudly to be heard clearly. You might also say things you’re unsure about or don’t mean.

Another instance of a lack of communication is not listening intently. Listen to understand instead of respond, and you can recognize how your partner feels. If these issues happen to you, it’s best to take time to process the situation before communicating with your partner.

2. You Need Emotional Intimacy

Relationships require emotional intimacy; love isn’t enough to fill the gap. You should feel emotionally safe with your partner to let your guard down. It requires reassurance and vulnerability from both of you.

If you don’t feel emotionally intimate with your partner, it could result from unhealed wounds. The wounds could have occurred from a past relationship, your current romance, or a family member. No matter where it comes from, it can stand in the way of saving what you have now.

3. You’re Heading Down Separate Paths

If you and your partner want different things in life, being in love won’t be enough to keep you together. With different views and plans, your lives might not align. When this happens, your options force one of you to sacrifice their views or go separate ways.

Pushing something on someone who doesn’t want it will only cause resentment and other issues later. A healthy relationship requires admitting when things aren’t working so that you can live fulfilling lives.

Finding a partner you can take the life journey alongside is essential. Some of the things to consider include:

the place you want to live
whether you want kids or not
how involved each other’s careers are
if you both want marriage

4. You Don’t Feel Good About Yourself When You’re with Them

Your relationship can’t last if you don’t like who you are when you’re with your partner. If you feel content and accepted, things are going in the right direction. However, feeling misunderstood or anxious won’t go well in the long term.

It’s a red flag if you don’t like how you feel and don’t feel that way with others. Think about whether the feelings are a result of how they treat you. Other times it might occur because your partner brings out the worst in you.

You can love someone and not be suitable for one another. When you find a partner, they should make you want to become the best version of yourself. It might not work out even if you’re in love if you feel like you aren’t living your best life with them.

5. Your Maturity Levels Don’t Match

You and your partner can grow apart during your relationship. When you fall in love, you continue developing and growing. Eventually, your maturity levels might change, and you find that you’re no longer in the same stage.

Sometimes, you’ll grow into one another and develop similar maturity levels. It promotes a healthy, solid romance. However, it’s common for partners to end up on different levels of emotional maturity.

In the beginning, you might feel sure of the relationship. Then, it can gradually change without you noticing. Before you know it, you realize that your partner isn’t quite what you need in your life.

6. It’s Hard to Forgive Cheating

When one of you cheats, it can create many issues in your relationship. Even if you love your partner, moving forward from this point can be hard. It requires forgiveness and rebuilding trust, which is impossible for everyone.

When one of you lets new feelings for someone else get in the way of your relationship, it means it’s time to end it. It would help to think about what’s best for both of you before deciding how to move forward.

7. There’s Abuse on Either Side

Abuse comes in many forms, including:

physical
verbal
emotional

If any of these types of abuse are present in your relationship, it’s best to end things. Nothing makes abuse okay, not even being in love.

8. Jealousy Is Toxic

If jealousy prevails in your relationship, love won’t be enough to keep you together. Jealousy indicated deeper issues, including a lack of trust. You can have a healthy relationship without trust.

How to Save Your Relationship

You can save the relationship if you love your partner, but other issues seem to push you apart. Couples argue and disagree sometimes, but it doesn’t have to end it all.

Before working to save the relationship, make sure it’s worth saving. You’ll know your relationship is worth it if you:

can talk about problems with your partner
want to spend your life with them
feel positively influenced
don’t feel drained from trying to make it work
know your partner wants to stay together

If you decide to work on things, you must take action immediately so the problems don’t worsen. Some of the things you can do to save your relationship include:

Identifying Problems

You and your partner should identify and discuss problems together. Communication is essential, and you both must be willing to open up.

Admitting mistakes

You must admit there are problems and own up to your responsibility. You can work toward a better future together when you acknowledge and accept it.

Keeping an Open Mind

If you have an open mind, your partner will feel more comfortable talking to you. It helps prevent defensive behaviors and remarks, keeping discussions going positively.

Respect one Another and Your Differences

Everyone is different, and you and your partner will think differently. Accept your partner for who they are, and don’t get upset with them over minor issues. Please don’t belittle or say they’re wrong when you disagree.

Negotiating and Compromising

Talk to your partner about what you want and need from the relationship. Listen to their needs, too, because it will go both ways. Once you’ve stated your thoughts and feelings, find a way to negotiate and make compromises that benefit the relationship.

Reacting Positively

When your partner does something for you, react positively rather than negatively. They’ll see that you appreciate them, and it’ll help you embrace the good parts of your relationship. Take it a step further and explain why the gesture is so meaningful.

Go on Dates Alone

Relationships require getting out of the house alone together. You must let go of the stress of everyday life and embrace fun experiences. It allows you to get to know one another better and enjoy each other’s company.

Setting Boundaries

Set boundaries so that your partner knows what comments and topics are off-limits. Your partner should also set boundaries so that you don’t say anything that hurts them. It’s okay to disagree and have arguments, but having limits can help you prevent destructive situations.

Practicing Forgiveness

No one is perfect, so mistakes are bound to happen, even in healthy relationships. Forgive your partner if you want to save your relationship so that you can focus on trust moving forward. If dishonesty or infidelity occurs, you must forgive even if it still hurts.

Final Thoughts on Reasons Why Being in Love Might Not Save a Relationship

While being in love is an extraordinary feeling, it’s not always enough to save a relationship. If you are unhappy in your relationship, you must consider whether it’s time to move on. You might want to keep your relationship, and it’s possible if you’re both willing to do the work.

Relationships aren’t perfect, and improving the situation requires working together. When you work together, it deepens your bond and allows you to develop long-lasting love.

8 Differences Between Destructive Rage and Healthy Anger

July 21, 2022 by Chris Butler

Many folks use the words anger and rage interchangeably, but that is a mistake. While there are some similarities, there are several distinct differences between these two emotional occurrences. It’s commonplace to think that when anger is intensified, it becomes rage, but this is not the case. Understanding the differences between healthy anger and destructive rage is key to gaining emotional intelligence.

The reality is that these two events describe specific phenomena within a person’s emotional field, and anger and rage are vastly different. Both reactions show an outward display, but what occurs on the inside is what differentiates one from the other.

Think of rage as a giant iceberg floating in the water. All you see is the top of the ice or the exposed parts. What you don’t see is the massive structure underneath the water that’s holding everything in place.

With rage, there’s underlying issues that are at the core of these intense feelings. While you may not see genetic links, personality disorders, or substance abuse, these may be some of the driving factors to the outbursts.

Eight Key Differences Between Rage and Healthy Anger

It doesn’t take a trained eye to notate the differences between anger and rage, as rage always comes with violent and destructive behaviors. Controlled and healthy anger can resolve situations or challenge someone to make changes in life. But it still comes with some issues. Here are some ways that anger and rage differentiate.

1. Rage Causes People to Disassociate

When you have an episode of destructive rage, you disassociate from reality. Many folks say they lose touch with reality for a moment, though this is not an excuse for violent behavior. Healthy anger will not make a person disassociate and have a temporary lapse of judgment, as they remain in control.

2. Rage Episodes Often Causes Amnesia

Consider Tommy. He had a rage episode where he busted a hole in the wall. After the incident, he had no memory of what occurred. His wife was visibly shaken by his actions. But he could not understand her reaction.

It’s not the first time Tommy has had such an episode, but he never remembers any of these phenomena. It’s not uncommon for people to have amnesia after these events happen. Since rages are closely linked with dissociative disorder, the mind goes into a separate area during these reactions to protect itself.

According to the Mayo Clinic, DID is the absence of continuity between feelings, recollections, environments, actions, and self. It’s extremely dangerous because a rage fit causes an individual to lose sight of what’s right and wrong.

3. Rage Causes Blinding Sensations

Rage causes blinding sensations, as the emotions and feelings within the body reach explosive rates. Have you ever felt so angry that you went blind?

This is a common phrase used to discuss waves of anger so intensifying that a person sees red or becomes blind. They lose all sense of boundaries and take out their violent feelings on anyone or anything around them.

4. There’s No Emotional Intelligence During Rage

An anger episode is quite different from rage because you don’t lose touch with logic. Healthy anger can be controlled, and you won’t do things that could be harmful to yourself or those around you. Someone in a rage can’t rationalize such things.

During the fits of rage, they don’t have the emotional intelligence to know that if they punch someone, they will likely face assault charges. The person with healthy anger recognizes they will face such charges, so they learn to use restraint.

5. Rage May Come From a Serotonin Disruption

Another way that rage varies from healthy anger is that a chemical imbalance is often the root cause. It’s often the underlying problem in a mental health diagnosis. For instance, people with bipolar and explosive disorders are more prone to rage than those with anxiety or depression.

Intermittent explosive disorder is becoming a more prevalent diagnosis in the mental health community. There are more than 200,00 cases diagnosed each year, according to MSN Health. The violence that comes with rage is really what separates it from anger, as you can have healthy anger where you don’t raise your voice, call names, or break things.

Emotional intelligence allows a person with healthy anger to keep from going off the deep end, but there’s no rationale for rage.

6. Rage Can Cause Seizures

In some instances, rage can be so intense that it can cause a person to have a seizure. Now, you should know that this is rare, but seizures can happen when your emotional stance is over the top and causes complete psychological distress. These are focal emotional seizures, which are pseudo in nature.

Pseudo means that they don’t originate in the brain, as these are seizures that are emotionally based. To help you understand this phenomenon, think of a surge protector you use to plug in many electronics.

The surge protector is overloaded, and you plug one more thing into it, and it blows. The surge turns off because the power load you’re asking it to supply is unfeasible. It can’t handle the intense current being pulled, so it shuts down to protect itself from catching on fire.

The same thing happens when someone has a pseudo-seizure. Since these are behavioral-based occurrences, the person experiencing them isn’t in danger of brain damage like those with epilepsy. Consequently, they still feel and look like an epileptic seizure, but the origins are different.

If you were to hook someone up having a rage seizure on an EEG machine, it would not show any electrical activity like a traditional seizure. Still, it’s a very shocking instance that can happen when the emotions overload a person. The brain is shutting down because it can’t take the stress of the situation. Regardless of the origin of the seizure, it’s still devastating.

7. Rage Lasts Up to 30 Minutes – Healthy Anger is Intermittent

A person can be angry for years over a situation, or they may get mad about something and be over it in five minutes. Conversely, rage is quite different. These attacks can last up to thirty minutes and dissipate as quickly as they come.

According to Cedars-Sinai, these fits can be unpredictable, as they can happen whenever something triggers them. In many instances, the person experiencing the rage does not know what set them off. Something triggers the intense feelings deep inside and causes them to reach an explosive level.

8. Rage is Never Productive – Healthy Anger Brings Resolve

Healthy anger can be productive, as it can help a person get rid of the negative emotions on the inside that are troubling them. Rage doesn’t resolve anything and only causes greater issues for the person. Someone who can’t control their rage has trouble in relationships, holding a job, and even going to the store can be challenging.

The Rage Cycle

Unlike healthy anger, rage is destructive and hurts other people. Since the person experiencing these extreme emotional outbursts is blind to them, it’s not uncommon for their fury to be taken out on a helpless child or someone they love. It is hard to channel rage once it starts.

Think of a pipe freezing and busting during the winter season in your home. Once that water is pouring out, it’s challenging to get it to stop. In a human being, these feelings occur when someone feels that others challenge their power.

These outbursts are often seen in dissociative cases because the person has no judgment, and their emotional intelligence does not engage. Rage can damage any relationship. If you’re with a partner with such explosive episodes, you walk on eggshells around them for fear you will set them off.

Since rage is violent, they will have no problems kicking, punching, pulling hair, or even harming someone in a moment when they lose all their boundaries. The person will usually return and be remorseful later, but the damage is already done. While the rage may decrease, the desire to control lingers.

If the person is unwilling to discuss the events after their fit of blind rage, it’s a tell-tell sign that they don’t want to get help. So the “cycle of violence” continues. When you accept someone’s apology repeatedly after a violent outburst, yet nothing changes, they will keep doing it until one of you bails on the relationship or gets help.

Final Thoughts on Building Emotional Intelligence by Discerning Between Destructive Rage and Healthy Anger

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary describes rage as violent fits that result in insanity. Unlike healthy anger, there’s no resolve. Someone who has such a violent outburst often has a chemical imbalance caused by heredity, trauma, or a mental health issue like a narcissistic personality disorder.

Treating rage disorders requires finding the root cause and addressing the underlying issues. The best course of treatment is to use a counselor to help uncover the reasons behind these intense feelings and work on improving emotional intelligence.

10 Ways Journaling Leads to Emotional Release

July 21, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Try a happiness journal to foster a more joyful outlook.

It’s never too late to discover the joys and benefits of keeping a happiness journal. You can save a record of your daily activities and how you feel about them. Journaling can be fun and offer a genuine picture of your thoughts, ideas, and greatest dreams. Besides that, the emotional release is cathartic.

How Keeping a Journal Supports Emotional Release

Many people use their souls as a sealed warehouse for their hurts and unsettled emotions. If these feelings are left to fester, they can adversely affect your entire well-being. Here are ten ways to experience emotional release and healing using a journal.

1. Identifying Your Feelings for Emotional Release

Remember in grade school when you studied emotions and had to color faces that displayed each emotion? Today, kids would be coloring a few more faces. According to an article published by UCLA, researchers have identified at least 27 human emotions.

Most of the time, you know how you’re feeling. However, sometimes you’re perplexed, and your emotions are whirling. Journaling offers you an emotional release and a way to label your feelings.

For example, you may be angry when writing a journal entry. When you later reflect on your writing, you might realize your emotions were more profound than anger. Anger is often the easiest to show, hiding hurt, fear, and grief.

2. Discovering Patterns in Your Life

Various patterns in your life aren’t always apparent at first. Some of these patterns are beneficial, while others may not be in the long run. One of the benefits of journaling is that you can gain more clarity and distinguish patterns and how they affect you.

Let’s say you’re on a weight-loss journey, and journaling is one of your tools. Past entries can reveal your thoughts and actions about losing or gaining a few pounds. Once you’ve identified a pattern, you can modify your behavior and see how it benefits your goals.

3. Reducing Your Stress

Humans would have become extinct millions of years ago if it weren’t for the primal survival response. Your brain perceives any stressor as a threat and immediately goes into survival mode to protect you. The problem is that the brain can’t differentiate between harmless and life-threatening stress.

If your stress levels are high, your body stays in survival mode, which can be detrimental to your health. An article published by the University of Michigan suggests that journaling may reduce stress by providing emotional release of negativity.

Instead of bottling your emotions, writing in your journal can give voice to what you’re feeling. You record all the things that are making you anxious. Reviewing what you wrote can provide clues for possible solutions to a problem.

4. May Boost Your Gratitude

For most people, joy and gratitude go hand-in-hand. The art of being grateful helps you transcend the fickleness of happiness to enjoy absolute pleasure. While it doesn’t mean your life will be without pain and sorrow, it gives you more strength to cope.

Journaling is an ideal way to count your blessings. You may see countless reasons for gratitude when you add to your list and review it daily. You may experience an emotional release to free you from jealousy, envy, and depression.

5. Emotional Release from Journal Writing Increases Your Optimism

To be an optimist, you needn’t believe your life is the perfect bowl of cherries. Positive thinking is based on reality and has nothing to do with delusions. It means you can find a hidden blessing even in your darkest hours.

You’ll see the law of attraction at work when you’re determined to be positive. As you keep a record of your thoughts and feelings in your journal, the silver lining may be more evident. You send positive affirmations into the Universe, it agrees, and you attract more positive energy.

The more positive results your way, the more optimistic you become. Of course, it’s not a magical spell that will make your life perfect. However, you’ll attract more positive energy and have less negativity to battle.

6. Solidifying Your Identity

It almost seems clichéd when people say they don’t know who they are or need to “find” themselves. The truth is that most people long for the answers to the classic existential questions of identity and purpose.

Trauma and other adverse experiences can sometimes leave you wondering who you are. Keeping a journal can remind you of who you were and are now. It’s continuity and flow of thought that can give you emotional release. You remember your dreams and focus on your path for the future.

7. Identifying Your Triggers

Triggers are words, actions, or things that cause you to experience a particular emotion. For example, seeing a tempting plate of cookies in a magazine may trigger your emotional eating habit. On a positive note, seeing a rose might bring back the same infatuation you had on your first date.

Depending on your emotions and reaction, your trigger may be beneficial or harmful. Reflecting on your journal entries may help you identify these triggers and how to minimize them. You can also work on ideas of how to act instead of reacting and cope with your challenges better.

8. Boost Your Confidence

Having faith in your abilities isn’t always a given. Often, you need to be your cheerleader and use past examples. What are some of your most significant accomplishments or significant adversities you’ve overcome? Journaling can be your key to saving all these memories when you need them most.

9. Encouraging Your Ability to Forgive

When somebody betrays or hurts you, the offense is carved indelibly in your heart and mind. If you continue to meditate on it, you forge chains of bitterness that shackle your soul. The offender still has power as the raw emotions keep repeating in your mind like an endless nightmare.

Forgiveness is the key that will unlock those shackles of anger and resentment. As you write in your journal, it can be an emotional release that leads to healing. You can’t forget the hurt the person caused, but you can choose to forgive and move on.

Even more importantly, writing down your feelings can encourage you to forgive yourself. Maybe there are things in your past that you need to put behind you. Being honest with your emotions might be your first step.

10. The Emotional Release Helps to Develop Your Intuition

Since your emotions and intuition are connected, putting your feelings into words can allow you to hear your inner voice. You may be surprised at how this small voice speaks to your current situation. The more you journal and develop your intuition, the more you learn to trust yourself.

How to Keep a Journal

Isn’t it refreshing that the only rule to keeping a journal is that it’s up to you? Your journal can be a powerful tool to help you record daily events, your thoughts, and dreams and provide emotional release. Try these helpful hints to get you started.

1. Decide Your Writing Medium

People kept loose-leaf paper journals in the past, and evolved into bound notebooks. Your journal can be as simple or elaborate as you want. Some people prefer plain notebooks, while others love fancy inscribed journals.

If you want, you can even journal on your computer. Use colorful pens or pencils and embellish your writing with your artwork if you like. Whichever style resonates with you is the best one to choose.

An essential part of keeping a journal is your privacy. Every entry you make is for your eyes only; you’re not obligated to show it to anyone. However, it’s also your right to choose to share it with someone you love as you see fit.

2. When to Journal

There are also no steadfast rules regarding when and how often you write in your journal. Many people like to record the events of the day and their thoughts in the evening. Everything is fresh on your mind, and you’ll have a more accurate account of posterity.

You can also feel free to write in your journal anytime you feel inspired or overwhelmed. It’s your outlet for emotional release without pressure or outside judgment. Whether you write daily or weekly, the idea is to write as it benefits you.

3. Where to Journal

Your journal is about you; you can write wherever you feel most comfortable. If you’re like most folks, you probably prefer a quiet, secluded place where you can be alone with your thoughts. It can be in your peaceful sanctuary at home or while enjoying the natural inspiration of the outdoors.

Final Thoughts about Emotional Release and Keeping a Journal

Reflecting on your innermost thoughts and feelings can be revealing. You’ll discover more about yourself and may see ways to improve your mindset. It won’t be an instant miracle, but writing in your journal can be the emotional release you need.

7 Exercises for Carpal Tunnel Syndrome to Do at Home

July 20, 2022 by Chris Butler

Have you ever noticed tingling and numbness in one of your hands? Maybe you experience hand and wrist pain during and after activities. These symptoms relate to carpal tunnel syndrome, which can cause tremendous hand pain.

You’d be amazed when you consider all the daily chores your hands do. Each hand is a complex system of muscles, connective tissue, and bone. They work with your fingers, wrists, and lower arms to complete simple, complicated tasks.

According to an article published by the National Library of Medicine, you have approximately 30 muscles in your hand. Your hands contain about one-fourth of all of your body’s bones. Eight of these bones compose the carpus of your wrist.

Your Wrist’s Many Movements (and the Causes of Wrist Pain)

Not only do you use your hands for work, but they also are essential for your sense of touch. The American Physical Therapy Association publication describes three major peripheral nerve branches responsible for movement and communication in your hand. The ulnar nerve branches toward each pinky finger, and the radial nerve branches toward your thumb.

The median nerve runs right through the center of your hands and wrists. Through a carpal tunnel protective passageway, it converges with blood vessels, ligaments, and tendons. They protect these crucial components as your hands and wrists constantly move.

What is Carpal Tunnel Syndrome?

Your median nerves can be affected when your hands and wrist make repetitive motions for extended periods. The same can happen if you have rheumatoid arthritis or have injured your wrist. Your carpal tunnel can become inflamed, causing median nerve compression and pain.

According to statistics published by the National Library of Medicine, this condition affects at least one to three in every 1,000 Americans. If you’re a woman, you’re ten times more likely than a man to develop carpal tunnel syndrome. According to the article, it can lead to irreversible median nerve damage if not treated.

Signs and Symptoms of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

Here are some common signs of issues with the carpal tunnel in your wrist.

Tingling or numbness in your finger and thumb, but not so much in your pinky.
The symptoms may worsen at night, and the hand and wrist pain may interfere with sleep.
You notice a gradual weakness in your hand and have less grip strength.
Ordinary tasks like carrying or holding objects become challenging and sometimes painful.
In more severe cases, your ability to sense hot and cold temperatures in your hand may be affected.

Easy Exercises to Cope With Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and Wrist Pain

You may wear a brace on the affected hand if you’ve been diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome. You can also do some easy hand exercises to relieve some symptoms. Here are eight activities you can do at home or work.

1. Wrist Flex

If you’re working and feel hand pain or wrist pain, this simple exercise can help. It stretches the muscles toward the outer top of your forearms. Try to make the movements as smooth as possible. Here’s how:

1. Stand in a relaxed position and stretch your right arm until aligning with your shoulder, palm facing down.

2. Let your elbow relax, and try not to lock it while stretching.

3. Now, bend your wrist gently until your fingers point toward the floor. Hold this position for about five breaths.

4. Place your left hand on the front of your right fingers. Gently and smoothly pull your bent right hand back toward your body. You should feel a slight stretch on the outside of your forearm. Hold this position for ten to fifteen breaths.

5. Release the hold and return your hand to the starting position. This back-and-forth movement equals one set; you want to do five repetitions.

6. Switch to your left arm and repeat the steps for another five repetitions.

2. Wrist Extensions

The gripping motions can cause burning pain when you have carpal tunnel syndrome. This exercise stretches and strengthens the inner muscles of your forearm. Consider doing a few repetitions before you do any lifting or working with your hands. Here’s how:

1. Stand or sit relaxed and extend your left arm straight before your body. It should be level with the height of your left shoulder. Keep your elbow relaxed without locking it.

2. Next, back your left wrist until your fingers point straight toward the ceiling. It’s the same position as if you were signaling someone to stop.

3. Place your right palm on your raised left fingers and gently grip them. Pull your left hand backward toward your body just until you feel a slight stretch. Be careful not to overextend your hand, as it can cause pain or possible injury.

4. Hold this position for at least ten to fifteen breaths. Release your hand and return to the starting position.

5. Repeat these steps at least five times.

6. Switch to your right arm and repeat the steps.

3. Hand Clenching

The tendons running through your carpal tunnel are responsible for several movements, such as clenching your fists. An article published by the National Library of Medicine suggests that exercises like these may ease carpal tunnel syndrome. They are also called tendon glides. Here’s how:

1. First, bend your right elbow up at a 90-degree angle. Stretch your fingers and thumb, and they should be pointing up toward the ceiling.

2. Twist your fingers at the middle joint until they form a hook. Hold this position for three breaths.

3. Bring your bent fingers into the palm of your hand to make a stiff fist. Your thumb should be on top of your clenched fingers. Hold this position for three breaths and slowly return to the starting position.

4. Your goal is five to ten repetitions, then switch to your left hand and repeat the steps for another five to ten repetitions.

4. Wrist Lift

When you strengthen your lower forearms, you may have less hand pain and wrist pain from carpal tunnel syndrome. You’ll need a table or another flat surface for this easy exercise. It’s ideal to do while you’re working at a desk. Here’s how:

1. Put your right hand right on your desk or table.

2. Next, put your left hand across your right knuckles to form a 90-degree angle.

3. As you gently lift the fingers and wrist of your right hand, press down on it with your left hand simultaneously. Be sure to use gentle pressure. You will feel some opposition and stretching in your right upper forearm.

4. Hold this position for five breaths, then relax.

5. Aim for five to ten reps, switch to your left hand, and repeat the steps.

5. Hand Squeezes

You probably have a colorful rubber stress ball at work or home to relieve stress. Did you know this exercise can also help minimize pain from carpal tunnel syndrome? If you don’t have a stress ball at your place, roll a clean sock into a ball. Here’s how:

1. Hold the ball in your right hand.

2. Squeeze the ball tightly for five seconds and then release it.

3. Repeat this step at least ten times.

4. Try to do three sets of ten repetitions.

5. Now, take the ball in your left hand and repeat the steps.

6. Median Nerve Glide

When your median nerve becomes compressed from carpal tunnel syndrome, you may battle constant hand and wrist pain. This easy-glide exercise can help improve the nerve’s mobility, reducing pain. You can do it often during the day when your hands are their busiest. Here’s how:

1. First, draw your right hand into a fist with your thumb outside against your forefinger.

2. Uncurl your right fingers and stretch them out straight while keeping your thumb in the same position against your forefinger.

3. Next, bend your right hand gently toward your forearm and stretch your thumb to the side. Turn your palm to face you.

4. Use your left hand to apply gentle pressure on your right thumb to stretch it more.

5. As you change each position, hold it for three to eight seconds.

6. Release your right hand and repeat the steps for your left hand.

7. Wrist Weight Lifts

For this exercise, you’ll need a light hand weight or a can of food. The goal is to stretch and strengthen your forearms’ flexor muscles. As you get more comfortable with the exercise, you can increase your weight. Here’s how:

1. Hold your weight in your left hand and stretch your arm straight out with your palm facing down.

2. Raise your hand and weight slowly toward your arm by bending your wrist.

3. Then, lower it back to the first position.

4. Try to do ten repetitions at least three times.

5. Switch to your right hand and repeat the steps.

Final Thoughts on Exercises for Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and Hand and Wrist Pain

The wrist and hand pain of carpal tunnel syndrome can affect your daily activities at home and on the job. If you periodically rest your hands and do these exercises as a routine, you may minimize the symptoms. It may make a big difference in how you feel and work.

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