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Non-Verbal Autistic Valedictorian Urges Classmates to Use Their Voices

In an inspiring graduation speech, a non-verbal autistic valedictorian encouraged her fellow graduates to “be the light” in this world. She hasn’t spoken since the age of ffiteen months, but learning to type allows her to communicate. On May 8, 2022, 24-year-old Elizabeth Bonker delivered her powerful commencement speech using a unique text-to-speech computer program.

Elizabeth’s four fellow valedictorians collectively chose her to deliver the speech. As a result, the 529 graduates of Rollins College, a private college in Florida, got to hear her moving message. She urged her fellow graduates to use their voices and serve everyone they meet. She also described some of her struggles as a non-verbal autistic and how others helped her navigate them.

“Rollins College class of 2022, today we celebrate our shared achievements. I know something about shared achievements because I am affected by a form of autism that doesn’t allow me to speak. My neuromotor issues also prevent me from tying my shoes or buttoning a shirt without assistance.

She explained?

“I have typed this speech with one finger with a communication partner holding a keyboard. I am one of the lucky few non-speaking autistics who have been taught to type. That one critical intervention unlocked my mind from its silent cage, enabling me to communicate and to be educated like my hero Helen Keller.”

In her commencement address, she also mentioned another of her heroes, Mr. Fred Rogers. Most famous as the host of the preschool television series Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, he graduated from Rollins College in 1951.

“During my freshman year, I remember hearing a story about our favorite alumnus, Mister Rogers. When he died, a handwritten note was found in his wallet. It said, ‘Life is for service.’ You have probably seen it on the plaque by Strong Hall. Life is for service. So simple, yet so profound,” she said.

Non-Verbal Autistic Valedictorian Encourages Peers to Serve Others

Elizabeth continued: “Classmates, you have shared your passion for service within our community. Our friends in the sororities and fraternities raise money for so many worthy causes. Our friends at Pinehurst weave blankets for the homeless. The examples are too numerous to list. Rollins has instilled in all of us that service to others gives meaning to our own lives and to those we serve.”

She also drew inspiration from Victor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning, and shared his message about serving others.

 While suffering in the Nazi concentration camp at Auschwitz, he noted how, despite the horror, there were prisoners who shared their last crust of bread. He writes, ‘Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.’”

“We all have been given so much, including the freedom to choose our own way. Personally, I have struggled my whole life with not being heard or accepted. A story on the front page of our local newspaper reported how the principal at my high school told a staff member, ‘The retard can’t be valedictorian,’” she said.

“Yet today, here I stand. Each day, I choose to celebrate small victories, and today, I am celebrating a big victory with all of you. The freedom to choose our own way is our fundamental human right, and it is a right worth defending, not just for us, but for every human being.”

Elizabeth continued: “Dear classmates, today we commence together. But from here, we will choose our own ways. For me, I have a dream. Yes, just like Martin Luther King, Jr., I have a dream: communication for all.”

Elizabeth Strives to Serve Others With Non-Verbal Autism

“There are 31 million non-speakers with autism in the world who are locked in a silent cage. My life will be dedicated to relieving them from suffering in silence and to giving them voices to choose their own way,” she said.

Bonker graduated with a degree in social innovation. then she launched a nonprofit organization called Communication 4 ALL. Its mission is to “ensure that non-speakers with autism have access to the communication and education essential to living meaningful lives.”

Elizabeth Is a Highly Motivated Non-Verbal Autistic Woman Who Wants to Make a Difference

Adding to her list of accomplishments, she wrote a book called I Am In Here. The book describes her own experience as a child with non-verbal autism.

Around one in 44 children has autism spectrum disorder (ASD), a developmental disorder caused by differences in the brain. In fact, they estimate that around 25-50% of children with ASD have non-verbal autism, inhibiting their speaking ability.

During her speech, Elizabeth told her classmates: “God gave you a voice. Use it. And no, the irony of a non-speaking autistic encouraging you to use your voice is not lost on me. Because if you can see the worth in me, then you can see the worth in everyone you meet.

“We are all called to serve, as an everyday act of humility, as a habit of mind. To see the worth in every person we serve. To strive to follow the example of those who chose to share their last crust of bread. For to whom much is given, much is expected.

“My fellow classmates, I leave you today with a quote from Alan Turing, who broke the Nazi encryption code to help win World War II. ‘Sometimes, it is the people no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine.’ Be those people. Be the light!”

Final Thoughts on Non-Verbal Autistic Valedictorian’s Inspiring Speech

Elizabeth Bonkers, a non-verbal autistic valedictorian from Rollins College, gave a moving graduation speech to her peers. She encouraged them to use their voices and serve others in their own way. Moreover, she’s living that example by helping others with non-verbal autism access the tools they need to communicate.

Elizabeth proves that no matter our struggles, we all have unique gifts to share. So, don’t be afraid to shine!

How to Train Your Brain to Beat Negative Thoughts

We live in a world full of hardships and pain. But it’s a world that can also be beautiful and full of opportunities. Unfortunately, many people are hardwired to be pessimistic and don’t know how to overcome negative thoughts. Maybe some don’t know how to change negativity into positive thoughts. But it’s important to understand that your mood and mindset can affect your life.

You’re more likely to have a bad day when you’re in a bad mood. But your day will get better when you’re in a good mood. But if your brain is hardwired to be negative, you must overcome some obstacles to rewire it. Plus, the environment we live in is stressful and exhausting. Because of all the hurdles in your way, negativity can become a habit.

Even one harmful thought can spark an entire change of mentality; before you know it, it can make you spiral. Sometimes, you don’t even notice it until it’s too late. Therefore, teaching your brain to default to a positive mindset is possible.

Why Do People Default to Negative Thoughts?

According to research, people can have up to 70,000 thoughts in a single day. Most of these thoughts pass through our heads without us even realizing it. When we see a traffic sign, we’ll automatically think about what it means. That’s not something we necessarily have control over. Sometimes, thoughts happen. Statistically speaking, it’s nearly impossible that, out of 70,000 ideas, all of them are positive.

Because of just how many thoughts we have, it’s inevitable that some will be negative. But that’s not even the central place negativity stems from. Many people are even born and raised in an environment full of pessimism spread by toxic people. Because of that environment, they develop a negativity bias. This means they think more about adverse events rather than positive ones. Their brain asymmetrically uses negative information at the expense of positive information. They dwell on criticisms or insults rather than being able to balance out the good and the bad.

Past events that have traumatized you can also make people prone to negativity. People learn and form decisions based on that negative information. This might be the case because they want to protect themselves. This idea makes sense from an evolutionary point of view. There’s no way to be disappointed when you expect the worst to happen, or that’s true in theory. Or maybe, if you wish the worst to happen and it happens, you’ll be prepared.

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The Role of Evolution In Negative Versus Positive Thoughts

Evolution has taught people to be ready for the worst, but modern society doesn’t require that apocalyptic mindset. In this society, people can be positive without worrying about getting hurt. But negativity doesn’t only affect you in the short term. It doesn’t just make it so that you are moody and refuse to go out with friends once. It can affect your whole decision-making process. If you always expect the worst to happen, you’ll probably lose faith in yourself and others.

You’ll pass on every opportunity out of fear that you aren’t good enough to get it. Or maybe you’ll think you’ll be unlucky and miss an opportunity. You’ll probably deal with trust issues affecting your interpersonal relationships. You might refuse to go out because you’ll always expect to have a bad time. Or maybe you’ll limit contact with people because you expect them to betray you. Negativity can affect all areas of your life, even your health.

The mind and the body communicate through something known as the mind-body connection. This connection makes it so that thoughts can affect your health and overall mood. Negative thoughts cause stress and feelings of anxiety, which can lead to long-term struggles with anxiety disorders. They can stop your brain from producing endorphins and other chemicals that keep your health in balance.

The stress associated with negativity can make the body release hormones that speed up your heart rate and breathing, thus increasing blood pressure. Long term, this can lead to heart issues, for example, a higher risk of a heart attack. Alongside those issues, negativity weakens your immune system, can lead to stomach issues and increases the risk of insomnia.

3 Ways to Train Your Brain to Overcome Negative Thoughts

If you don’t learn to overcome negative thoughts, you’ll have to deal with all these issues. Even if it feels like you’ve been negative your whole life, that doesn’t mean you can’t change from negativity to positive thoughts.

1.      Label Your Thoughts

One of the main reasons people get stuck in a can’t let go of negative thoughts is that they don’t even realize they are having negative thoughts. Most of the time, people don’t know how toxic and negative thoughts look and how to categorize them. So, even though naming your ideas might seem easy, it’s not quite as it seems. That being said, it’s not impossible.

You must know that you can usually sort negative thoughts into a few categories. When people are negative, they generalize, jump to conclusions, label others, catastrophize, or blame people. All these thoughts are irrational. They often stem from misconceptions about how you should evaluate and judge specific situations.

Or they result from certain stereotypes or thought patterns you learned when you were young. Because of this, it’s hard to identify something wrong with them. All these thoughts lead to the same outcome: they stop you from acting rationally and in your best interests. For example, when you throw blame around, you prevent yourself from understanding where you might have gotten wrong.

If you always blame others for your failures, you’ll never take accountability and grow from your mistakes. And all different types of negative thoughts lead to similar outcomes. One of the most common negative behavior people engage in is overgeneralizing, and, just like blaming, it doesn’t lead to anything nice.

So, you need to be aware of these categories and take them into account. Whenever you have a wrong thought, either make a mental note or write it down. Once you realize what patterns you engage in, you can start solving them. If you notice that you’re always overgeneralizing, you can force yourself to be more specific and begin taking context into account.

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2.      Exercise the Power to Positive Thoughts

This might seem silly, but one of the best ways to overcome negative thoughts is by exercising positivity. The more you force yourself to have positive ideas, the more your brain will get used to defaulting to them. Essentially, this is one of the most effective ways to rewire your brain.

To exercise positive thinking, you first need to be aware of the negative thoughts that you are having. Here is when learning to label your thoughts will help you. Once you know how to differentiate between positive and negative thoughts, you’ll have greater control over them. What you need to do next is reframe every negative thought you have. If someone asks you to go to a party, don’t just default to no. Don’t just deny out of instinct; stop yourself and take the time to reason about the situation.

After all, what’s the worst that could happen? Even if you don’t have a good time, you can always leave, and at least you tried it out. But part of overcoming negative thoughts is proving yourself wrong. And you can do that simply by trying things out and experiencing their effects. Positive thinking is something you need to become accustomed to.

3.      Make Changes in Your Life to Overcome Negative Thoughts

Sometimes people can’t overcome negative thoughts simply because they don’t like their life. If you are frustrated with where you are, it’s time to make some changes. And no matter how stuck you feel, it’s always your choice to make things better.

If you don’t like your job, you can always look for a better one. Don’t let fear hold you back. If you apply to a few jobs, the worst that can happen is that you don’t get them. But you have to keep trying because opportunities don’t present themselves. And, once you succeed, you will have proven to yourself that life can be how you want it to be. But even if you don’t want to do that, you can make other minor changes.

Your diet and exercise regime are one of the first things you can change. Eating healthy and working out help release endorphins, improving your overall mood. Simple things like that will help you rewire your brain to be more positive. You need to make the conscious decision to turn your life around, and you’ll be able to overcome negative thoughts.

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Final Thoughts on How to Train Your Brain to Overcome Negative Thoughts

Negativity is something most people struggle with. And it’s a mindset that can impact your life in the worst ways possible. When you engage in negative thinking, you stop yourself from feeling all the beautiful things life offers. You can even risk making connections and taking on the opportunities presented to you. But overcoming negative thoughts can seem challenging to do.

The truth is, letting go of negative thoughts is a choice you have to make. If you struggle with negative thoughts, you need to learn to pinpoint them. Understand when they happen and why. To do that, you need to label them and even write them down as they appear. Once you do that, it’s time to reframe those thoughts. Take a moment to be rational and look at the entire half of the glass.

Don’t jump to conclusions, and don’t expect everything to turn out badly. Take a leap of faith and do the things that scare you the most. That can even mean making changes in your life. Whatever you don’t like about your life, change it. Get a new job, try out new hobbies and go out more. And make sure your lifestyle is as healthy as possible. Once you take these steps, you’ll find that you’ll change your mindset to positive thoughts.

Facebook Mom Explains How Kids Learn Boundary Setting

Many people in today’s world struggle with boundary setting, usually due to how their parents raised them. A lack of boundaries sets children up for a lifetime of relationship problems and poor self-esteem. So, teaching them early in life about establishing defined boundaries is essential. Not only will this bolster their self-worth, but it will also show others how to treat them. Sharing with others is wonderful, but caring for yourself is also essential.

One mom taught her child about boundary setting–and she sparked a heated debate online. Some parents agreed with her approach, while others condemned her for it. We can all learn a valuable lesson from her story, no matter what side you’re on.

Facebook Mom Explains the Importance of Boundary Setting

It all started when Alanya Kolberg brought her son Carson to a nearby park. He had a scheduled playdate with a friend and brought some toys to share. However, according to her Facebook post, things turned unexpectedly when several boys wanted to play, too.

“As soon as we walked in the park, Carson was approached by at least six boys, all at once demanding that he share his transformer, Minecraft figure, and truck. He was visibly overwhelmed and clutched them to his chest as the boys reached for them. He looked at me,” Alanya recalls.

“You can tell them no, Carson,” she told him. “Just say no. You don’t have to say anything else.”

However, as soon as Carson declined their request, the boys ran to Alanya, upset that he wasn’t sharing.

Much to their surprise, she told them: “He doesn’t have to share with you. He said no. If he wants to share, he will.”

When the boys’ parents heard what happened, they shot Alanya and Carson some dirty looks. Alanya didn’t back down, though, and shared her perspective on boundary setting in the post.

“If I, an adult, walked into the park eating a sandwich, am I required to share my sandwich with strangers in the park? No!

Would any well-mannered adult, a stranger, reach out to help themselves to my sandwich, and get huffy if I pulled it away? No again.

So really, while you’re giving me dirty looks, presumably thinking my son and I are rude, whose manners are lacking here? The person reluctant to give his 3 toys away to 6 strangers, or the 6 strangers demanding to be given something that doesn’t belong to them, even when the owner is obviously uncomfortable?”

She had a great point, but not everyone commenting on her post agreed.

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What Others Had to Say About This Lesson on Boundary Setting

One parent commented: “You don’t want kids asking your kid to share their toys.. Then don’t take toys to a park full of children.”

 Another person quipped: “He’s gonna make a lot of new friends.”  One parent wondered if Kolberg’s lesson would have a detrimental impact on Carson.

 “Will you unwittingly make your offspring the odd one out/selfish or with a total disregard for humanity?” they said.

 However, others agreed with Kolberg’s approach to boundary setting. One commenter replied that expecting your child to share creates people-pleasing tendencies and poor boundary setting skills. The poster added that those who disagreed with Kolberg probably disrespect other people’s boundaries.

 Another commenter felt that sharing with playmates or friends is okay. However, when it comes to strangers, children should set boundaries, so they’re not taken advantage of.

 One mother took a valuable lesson from the story about boundary setting herself. She said she never learned how to say ‘no’ to others, which caused people to walk all over her. So, this proves that teaching children self-respect and limits with others can have impact well into adulthood.

 Another commenter, Marissa Obermier, also saw the value in Alanya’s story about sharing. Marissa said she’s trying to teach her daughter that it’s okay to say ‘no’ sometimes.

 “Like if she doesn’t want to be hugged or kissed, she can say no. Her body, her choice. I know this was talking about toys, but this is teaching consent,” Marissa said.

 Setting Boundaries Isn’t Selfish; It Is a Necessary Lifeskill

 Alanya ended the post by saying: “The goal is to teach our children how to function as adults. While I do know some adults who clearly never learned how to share as children, I know far more who don’t know how to say no to people, or how to set boundaries, or how to practice self-care. Myself included.

 “In any case, Carson only brought the toys to share with my friend’s little girl, who we were meeting at the park. He only didn’t want to share with the greedy boys because he was excited to surprise her with them.

 “Please remember that we don’t live in a world where it’s conducive to give up everything you have to anyone just because they said so, and I’m not going to teach my kid that that’s the way it works.”

 Alanya’s story reminds us that boundary setting doesn’t make us selfish; it’s simply a necessary part of being human. Dr. Tracy Hutchinson, a therapist with over twenty years of clinical experience, explains that personal boundaries “set the basic guidelines of how you want to be treated.”

 She added that establishing these guidelines sets the foundation for respectful, caring, healthy relationships. Being assertive and letting people know your needs will help you discern between the toxic and uplifting relationships in your life.

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Final Thoughts on Boundary Setting Lesson from Facebook Mom

 Not everyone agreed with her perspective when Alanya Kolberg shared her story about boundary setting. She took her son Carson to a park to meet a friend for a playdate. Once there, he quickly felt overwhelmed by a group of boys asking to play with his toys. He didn’t know what to do, so he looked to his mom for help.

 After she told him it is okay to say ‘no,’ the boys ran to Alanya to tattle on him. However, she held her ground, even when the other moms at the park glared at them. She wanted to teach her son that he shouldn’t feel obligated to share his toys. Of course, others should respect his decision either way.

 Do you agree with how Alanya handled the situation? What would you do as a parent if you were in her shoes? Let us know what you think.

57 Year Old Vegan Breaks Guinness Record for Pushups

Dr. Joe DeMarco, a vegan chiropractor and ex-bodybuilder, broke two Guinness World Records for the most pushups. On May 25, 2022, he shattered records by completing a great 21,008 of the challenging exercise in twelve hours.

He also broke a record for the most pushups in eight hours, completing 15,261 in that timeframe. This equates to an average pace of 29 pushups per minute!

Previous records were 14,444 in eight and 20,085 in twelve hours.

DeMarco claims that his whole-foods, plant-based diet gave him the strength and energy needed for the record-breaking performance. He also had experience with gymnastics and enjoyed a 20-year bodybuilding career, which contributed to his success.

The inspiring vegan athlete may have retired from bodybuilding but not from staying fit! He still loves to challenge himself and focuses more on bodyweight training nowadays. Instead of putting so much emphasis on lifting weights, he started doing more cardio exercises.

He also practiced breathing techniques to increase his stamina. He lost 22 pounds during training, dropping back to his old gymnastics weight in college.

Some people expressed their doubts about him competing in the challenge, mainly due to his age. However, DeMarco felt confident he could break the record for pushups, even though he acknowledged the difficulty of this exercise. He never felt insecure about his capabilities and pushed full-speed ahead.

DeMarco Ignored the Whispers of Doubt and Pursued the Pushups Record

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Strength wasn’t a concern since he was a former bodybuilder and a Masters National Bodybuilding Champion. However, moving to bodyweight training and cardio would also allow him to work on his exercise endurance.

He also credited a healthy, plant-based diet for his ability to shatter the previous pushups records. DeMarco avoids junk foods and processed vegan items, opting for whole-foods nutrition instead. This gives him the energy and nutrients required for intense workouts or seemingly impossible challenges.

While training for the world record attempt, his wife cooked him healthy, protein-rich meals. She supported him 100% and experimented with different recipes to see how he responded to them. In addition, she made homemade electrolyte drinks to ensure he stayed hydrated and energized.

Luckily, Mrs. DeMarco seemed to know exactly what he needed because he never felt tired during his training. He could train six or seven hours daily and still maintain a healthy energy level!

Vegan Athlete Donated Money Raised to Animal Shelter

However, he’s not just vegan for his health – he also deeply cares about animals. Part of his motivation for striving to break pushup records came from his love of animals. He dedicated the Guinness World Record achievement to his beloved rescue dog Buddha. DeMarco adopted Buddha about two years ago, saving him from a traumatic past.

He doesn’t know much about his previous situation but noticed he had specific “triggers.” For instance, he gets angry when strangers come to the house, indicating he may have been a guard dog. However, he quickly became a cuddly, sweet dog with a lot of hard work and training.

Unfortunately, he suffered a back injury last year and lost the use of his hind legs. He also developed a tumor on his spleen, which was removed, but not before cancer had spread. DeMarco doesn’t know how much time Buddha has left, but he felt honored to dedicate the pushups challenge to him.

DeMarco also set up a fundraiser for his Guinness World Record attempt. All money raised went to Cape Ann Animal Aid, a nonprofit, no-kill animal shelter in Gloucester, Massachusetts. So far, donors have raised over $7,000 for the shelter, which will help with animal care and adoption events.

On the fundraising homepage, DeMarco says he has always had a passion for animals and fitness. Throughout his life, he’s rescued and fostered many animals who needed a loving home. This love for animals also motivated him to adopt a completely vegan diet.

The plant-based diet works wonders for him since he crushed two Guinness World Records! Most of us would feel accomplished doing even 50-100 pushups, so 20,000 is genuinely remarkable.

If you’d like to donate to the fundraiser, you can do so here.

Other Vegan Athletes Shattering Records

Sophia Ellis, a UK-based vegan athlete and two-time British champion, holds an impressive twenty powerlifting records. She proves that being vegan and strong are not mutually exclusive. In April 2022, she rewrote history by breaking six national records at the British Women’s Classic Championships in Scotland.

At the competition, she deadlifted more weight than any female in British powerlifting history, a whopping 237.5kg (524lbs). She now holds a new British record in both Classic and Equipped categories in every weight class. Even more remarkably, her accomplishment marked an unofficial record throughout Europe.

At the same competition, Ellis also squatted 170kg (374lbs) and bench pressed 118 kg (260lbs). Unsurprisingly, she broke records for the bench pressing round, too. Her weight lifted across all rounds amounted to 525.5kg (1,158lbs), breaking another British record in both Classic and Equipped categories.

Furthermore, she broke the European deadlift record at the 2021 European Championships in Sweden, deadlifting 230.5kg (508lbs). Ellis also earned a bronze medal at the IPF World Classic Championships in October 2021. Since she had never competed there, it was a notable accomplishment in the fitness and exercise sport.

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Final Thoughts on 57-Year-Old Vegan Holding the Guinness Pushups Record

Recently, Dr. Joe DeMarco, a 57-year-old vegan and former bodybuilder, broke two Guinness World Records for most pushups. He completed 21,008 pushups in twelve hours and 15,261 in eight hours, smashing previous records. DeMarco destroys the old stereotype of a protein-deficient, weak vegan, proving that eating plant-based makes you stronger!

Of course, his background in gymnastics and bodybuilding also helped him considerably. However, he credits his diet with giving him the energy and endurance necessary to push through the challenge of such strenuous exercise. Also, his doting pup Buddha inspired him to take on the world record pushups attempt. DeMarco also took on the challenge for animals, making him even more deserving of the win!

25 Personality Traits That Might Keep Someone Single and Unhappy

Most people long to find their soul mate. However, some significant reasons why some folks never find that person their heart desires. There’s more to relationships than good looks and money, as you will be unhappy if there’s no substance of personality.

Everyone wants a fairy tale where they find the prince or princess and live happily ever after. Consequently, you also want your partner to have a good personality so you enjoy spending time with them. Sadly, beauty is often only skin deep, and there needs to be something good inside for you to cling to this person.

Personality Traits that Might Keep You Single and Unhappy

First, let’s acknowledge–many people are happily single by choice.

That’s a beautiful thing! This article intends to help people unhappy in their single status, hopefully encouraging them to consider whether they display negative behaviors. Recognizing the presence of these traits can help one change their ways and find the happiness they deserve.

If you don’t want to be unhappy in your life, then there are specific characteristics you need to change about yourself. When you’re having a hard time attracting someone who completes you, it could be because you have some less desirable personality traits.

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1. Overtly Cocky

No one likes a cocky person. This individual thinks that they’re just a bit better than everyone else. If you’re overconfident and brash, you need to make some changes.

2. Perfectionism Causes You to Be Unhappy

In a perfect world, everything would be without issue. However, there’s no perfect person or world. When you have such high demands on yourself and your life, you suffocate the vitality out of what could be a good relationship.

3. An Inpatient Personality

An inpatient person will be unhappy and make those around them miserable. It’s often been said that patience is a virtue. It’s a cruel way to live when you’re quickly irritated or provoked to anger over the smallest of things.

4. Deceptive

No one likes someone dishonest. If you’re prone to lying, either chronic or pathological, you need help. There’s a reason you feel the need to be so deceptive, and it’s likely costing you true love.

5. Unhappy People Are Often Ungrateful

Are you unthankful for your things and don’t show gratitude when people do something for you? You can ensure you will be unhappy and single if you don’t learn to appreciate the little things your partner does for you.

6. Unempathetic

A callous or unfeeling person is not someone you want in your life. You want an individual to put their arms around you and tell you it will be okay. If you’re not sympathetic by nature, this is a character flaw you need to work on.

7. Stubborn Personality Type

It’s okay to stand your ground if you feel the matter is worthy, but you can’t be stubborn about everything. When people encounter stubborn folks, they think they’re childish and need to have their way. It’s very problematic and makes everyone unhappy.

8. Workaholic

A workaholic is married to their job, and it will not only make you unhappy but won’t leave time to bring anyone else into your world. A workaholic is someone who doesn’t know how to rest. At the crux of this disorder is someone who has something to prove to themselves or is running from something.

9. Sycophant

No one loves a brown noser. The sycophant person loves to kiss up to anyone who has influence or power and can help them get something they want. This individual always has a plan, and they tend to be a bit manipulative too.

10. Vindictive People Are Unhappy

Do you hold grudges and want to get even with everyone who do you wrong? This is a massive issue in a relationship, and it will make you miserable. A vindictive person is always out for revenge and can’t spend much time on positive things, as their mind tends to dwell on the negative.

11. Paranoid

If you’re paranoid, you will cause people to scatter like bugs when you turn on the light. No one likes a person who is always suspicious of their every move, which will suffocate anyone wanting to get close to you.

12. Unforgiving

You will have to learn to forgive when having someone in your life. You want people to forgive you when you make a mistake, so you must also forgive others. In many instances, the unforgiving person is also vindictive.

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13. Slacking Makes People Unhappy

Are you dependent on others for your happiness and overall wellbeing? Maybe you have a mooching personality that wants everyone to do everything for you. No one likes a freeloader as their better half, so this could be one reason you’re unhappy and single.

14. Doesn’t Adapt Well to Change

Life is never going to be predictable. You must be willing to roll with the punches and embrace change. If you fall to pieces every time the wind blows in a different direction, you will be in for some significant issues.

15. Disloyal

Would you turn your back on a friend or lover in a minute if it meant saving yourself? A disloyal person is no one you want in your corner, let alone your bed. These people look out for number one, and if you tend to be disloyal, you need to seek therapy to help change this character flaw.

16. Impulsive

A little impulsivity is good, but you can take it to extremes. There can be a significant price when you do things without considering the consequences. Impulsive people often cause their partner to be unhappy, as they must go behind them cleaning up their messes.

17. Pretentious

Do you stick your nose up in the air and act like you’re better than those around you? A Pretentious person can be a lot to handle, which might be why you’re still single. People look for those who are humble and treat everyone as equals, as it makes a difference when you’re kind in this world.

18. Hypocritical Personality

When you say one thing and do the other, it’s hard for people to look up to and respect you. Being consistent and practicing what you preach is essential.

19. Possessive

The possessive person has a problem with jealousy. Does the green-eyed monster affect you in relationships? Being possessive of the person, you love only shows your insecurities.

This will make you and them unhappy, as no one likes to be smothered or feel that they can’t breathe from a jealous spouse watching over them.

20. An Unhappy Person May Display Anger

Someone with a short fuse is hard to manage. Do you fly off the handle at the slightest thing? Do people walk on eggshells around you because they fear you may snap? Anger issues are not something to play with, and it’s a sign of an inner rage that hasn’t been handled.

People with rage often have horrible childhoods and have experienced trauma or other significant life occurrences that caused these feelings. According to The Mayo Clinic, many people with anger issues can’t have successful relationships, as it causes them to hurt the ones they love most.

21. Bullies Are Unhappy Inside

Many folks think of bullies as kids who dominate the playground. Sadly, there are just as many adults who bully others as children. It shows your maturity level when you are forceful with others to get what you want. Picking on the weakest and most vulnerable people only offers a significant character flaw of cruelty. Breaking this cycle is key to happiness with someone else.

22. Arrogant

The arrogant person never admits their mistakes. They don’t think they’re wrong as everyone else is the one in the wrong. The personality of a person with arrogance is hard to stomach, let alone be in a relationship with them. You’ll be unhappy if you can’t admit you’re wrong and take steps to fix the issues.

23. Competitive Personality

A bit of a competitive nature will help you thrive and climb the ladder of success. However, you can carry it to extremes. Everything is not a competition; many times, there are no winners and losers in life.

24. Threatening

No one wants to be in a relationship with a threatening person. If you’re intimidating others and acting like a bully, there’s something seriously wrong. People often threaten and abuse others as it makes them feel good about themselves, but they’re miserable inside.

25. Unhappy People Might Also Be Undependable

When you look for a potential partner, you want someone you can depend on. You want them to be there when they say they will, and they should always have your back. An undependable person has a severe personality flaw, and finding a healthy relationship is challenging unless it’s fixed.

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Final Thoughts on Personality Traits that Keep You Single and Unhappy

Did you see any personality traits on this list that resonated with you? Do you have character flaws that you know need to be addressed before you can be in a happy and fulfilling relationship?

The good news is that there’s nothing you can’t overcome with positive thinking, determination, and the help of a good therapist. You can have the soul mate you desire if you work hard to improve yourself.

20 Signs That Reveal a Relationship Has Run Its Course

Sometimes forever doesn’t happen, and the fairytale ending isn’t realistic. What does it mean when you no longer want those things if you’ve been in a relationship and had dreams of growing old with someone? Many people grow and change during their time together, and it’s ubiquitous for two people to grow apart and face a breakup.

A relationship can run its course, and suddenly you find yourself in a situation you want to leave. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them and can still care deeply, but suddenly the relationship part of things doesn’t work for you. What do you do in this situation, and how do you know when to say goodbye?

Twenty Signs Your Relationship Has Run Its Course

A breakup is never easy, but are there any evident signs that the fire that once ignited between the two of you has fizzled out? Here are some indications that your relationship has run its course and it’s time for you to move on.

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1. Trust is Gone from the Relationship

You’ve tried to trust them again and want to do it. Sadly, no matter how hard you try, this vital part of your relationship is broken. You question every word they say and their actions because there’s a wedge between you.

You’ll like a detective going through their coat pockets, viewing their text messages. You don’t trust that they’re faithful because you know you’re looking for a reason to leave in your heart.

2. Communication is Nonexistent

You once talked about anything and everything, but now you seem like two strangers who barely speak. You don’t know what happens in their day, and they don’t know what happens in yours. They’re no longer the first person you call to share things that occur, both good and bad.

3. The Butterflies are Gone

You once got excited when you saw their car pull in the driveway or they walked into the room. Now, you feel nothing. The butterflies in your stomach that you once experienced when you sat near them have flown away, and there’s no natural attraction anymore.

4. You’ve Thought About a Breakup

You’ve already started to picture your life without them. You may have made plans to leave a dozen times, but you’ve been too scared to carry it out.

5. Spend Time Together is a Chore

Gone are the days you once planned to spend every waking moment together. In the past, you couldn’t wait for the next concert or significant event, as you got to make more memories. However, these days it seems like spending time together is a chore, and nobody likes chores.

6. Intimacy Is Dead in the Relationship

They don’t touch you anymore, and you don’t look at each other the same. All the action in the bedroom has become routine and uninteresting if you have any action at all.

You find yourself waiting for it to be over so you can retreat to your side of the bed and sleep. You don’t kiss, hug, or cuddle when watching television.

7. Little Habits Aren’t Cute Anymore

You were always mesmerized by the way they did certain things. These habits have become annoying and are the source of many arguments.

It’s way more than they leave the cap off the toothpaste. How they slurp their coffee or their car is always littered with fast food bags drives you mad.

8. You Argue So Much That a Breakup Sounds Like Relief

Arguments have become so commonplace that you fight about anything and everything. To be in the same room is to disagree about something, and you find there’s always tension when you’re together. If you’re honest with yourself, you no longer know what you argue about.

9. Memories Are Better Than the Relationship

You’ve thought about breaking up with them, but the memories with this person are so good that it’s hard to let go. The trouble is the memories are way better than what you have now. You have a history with this person, but you’re not sure you see a future.

10. You Might Breakup If You Head in Separate Directions

Previously, your goals for the future aligned in perfect harmony, and you couldn’t see a tomorrow without them. Consequently, those days are gone. Now, it seems you’re both going in opposite directions and breaking up is crossing your mind.

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11. You Have Irreconcilable Differences Causing You to Consider a Breakup

While most couples have things they disagree about, your issues are not reconcilable. You can’t resolve some things no matter how hard you try, and it’s driving a wedge between you.

12. Text Messages and Calls Have Dwindled

When things began, you texted each other on every break at work to keep each other in the loop. You can’t remember the last time you texted because you wanted to tell them about your day.

If you communicate these days, it’s only to convey essential information. You’re quick to end the conversation as things between you are uncomfortable.

13. There’s Emotional or Physical Cheating

Some people think the only way to cheat is through an intimate act. However, you can cheat emotionally too.

Relationship counselors often warn that most emotional affairs eventually turn into physical ones, and the danger lies. While talking or dreaming about someone else may seem harmless, it’s a long trip down a one-way street. Once you’ve started down this road, there’s no way to turn around.

14. You’re Putting All the Work into The Relationship

Relationships require people to be equals; each person must put fifty percent of themselves into it. Sadly, these days, you’re the one doing all the work.

You’ve given and given, and you wish there were some effort on their part. One-sided marriages and associations don’t work.

15. When You’re Together, It’s Like They’re Not There

You’ve noticed that when you manage to get into proximity with one another, their mind is a million miles away. Clearly, they’ve disengaged from you and would rather be anywhere but with you.

Looking at them is like a stranger in your house because you no longer know them.

16. You’re Distracted When You’re Together

Do you find that you would rather be on your phone than eat dinner with your partner? There’s uncomfortable silence when you’re together, so you need a distraction.

17. You Don’t Care if They Want a Breakup

You’ve got to the point in your association that you don’t care if they leave. If they stay, you’ll try to make it work the best you can, but if they leave, you won’t shed many tears over their absence. The whole thing is on automatic pilot mode right now.

18. You Don’t Miss Them When They’re Gone

You once pined for them when they would leave to go out with friends or were on a work trip. However, you find you enjoy the time when they’re gone.

On the other hand, they also enjoy their time apart from you. You feel like you can breathe, and the weight on your back is no longer weighing you down.

19. You’re Focusing on Trying to Change Them

You can’t change anyone, but you’re sure trying. According to Berkeley University’s Greater Good Science Center, one of the reasons why you can’t change someone’s mind and make them different is because they have pre-existing beliefs and convictions.

These are all ingrained in them since childhood, and these things have become a part of who they are. As the old saying goes, a tiger can’t change its stripes, and you can’t change others.

20. Lying to Each Other Indicates the End of a Relationship

How often have you told a little white lie because you thought they couldn’t handle the truth? Trust is the foundation of any good relationship, and you’re showing them how much you don’t trust them to deal with reality.

If someone lies to you, breaking up might be on your mind. To be honest, you can’t have a connection when you don’t respect each other enough.

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Final Thoughts on Signs of a Relationship in Danger of a Breakup

Relationships are not easy, as even the best ones have issues. However, you must make a conscious effort each day to be the best person for yourself and your partner. These days, it seems things have run their course, and you’re looking for the nearest exit ramp.

While it’s normal for couples to grow apart and start heading in another direction, you don’t think this will work anymore. Breaking up is hard, but you don’t see any other way around this situation, as it’s making you miserable. Life is too short to be sad, so setting each other free may be a gift to both of you.

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