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10 Kind Ways to Help Destigmatize Mental Health Challenges

June 12, 2022 by Chris Butler

In a perfect world, the move to destigmatize mental health would be met with open arms. However, many people still have an old-fashioned mindset that someone who experiences mental health issues is weak.

In fact, one in five adults in this country will experience a severe mental health crisis this year, according to the National Library of Medicine.

With such overwhelming odds, why do people still want to stigmatize something so prevalent? Americans are overworked and underpaid, which adds undue stress to an already chaotic life. Not only must you work 40 or more hours a week to make it, but you have a household, family, and other responsibilities.

Unless you’re a superhero, it’s challenging to get done all you need to and still have time for self-care. When’s the last time you had an hour to yourself to read a book, take a bubble bath, or watch a good movie with friends? Part of this is the reason why mental health issues are on the increase.

Your mind is like a computer. Have you ever had five web pages open, music is coming from somewhere, and the computer is spinning and not loading? Your brain can only take so many commands at once. When you’re going in 100 different directions, it’s not long before it will crash.

So, people all over the country are well aware of the stress and pressure, yet they still stigmatize those who have been strong for way too long. It’s time to destigmatize mental health and encourage folks to seek the help they need.

Ten Ways to Destigmatize Mental Health Challenges

For de-stigmatization to occur, everyone must do their part. You may feel that your voice won’t matter amongst the masses, but it takes one person to stand up to make a difference. Remember the old parable about the man who was walking on the beach exercising?

He came to a particular area, and thousands of starfish had washed up on the shore with the rising tide. An avid nature lover, the man began to throw them back one by one. Another man came to this area and saw what he was doing.

The onlooker was intrigued but thought his actions were foolish. As he watched the man tirelessly throw them back, he asked him why he was wasting his time as there’s no way he could make an impact. The man told him that they would all die if he didn’t get them back into the ocean before the sun rose.

The man continued throwing them in the ocean. The onlooker shook his head and told him that it didn’t matter anyway. The old man turned to the onlooker and said, “It mattered to this one?”

The moral of this parable is that what you do might make a difference to only one person, but if even just one person is affected, then it counts for something. Here are some reasons why you should fight to destigmatize mental health.

1. Promote Fairness Among Physical and Mental Illnesses

A lady pulls up to the grocery store and parks in the accessible parking spot. She gets out of the car and walks freely into the store. She’s stopped by an older gentleman who tells her she should be ashamed of herself for parking in a spot she doesn’t need.

The lady tells him that she has a disability. The man laughed and said that she looked perfectly fine. See, the woman has crippling anxiety, and if she walks very far, she loses her breath.

It’s a miracle she can even go to the grocery store with her social anxiety being so bad, let alone being criticized by another consumer. Now, the reality is that the man wouldn’t have said a word if she used a wheelchair or walked with a limp. However, because he couldn’t see anything wrong with her, he jumped to conclusions.

He wouldn’t dare ask someone with an oxygen machine why they used the handicapped spot, so why was it so different for her? Be kind and compassionate towards others, as you never know the battles they face.

2. Don’t Embrace Self-Stigma

If it isn’t bad enough that the world can be down on you, you can also be down on yourself. You don’t have to hide in shame because you have special needs, as you can still be a productive member of society. It’s possible to live a purpose-driven life even while dealing with mental health issues.

3. Be Mindful of Problematic Language

One way you can make a dramatic impact is by changing your language. Older terms have now become very derogatory and hurtful to someone in this situation. Saying things like “nuts,” “crazy,” “psycho,” and “looney” are very insensitive.

Don’t use any adjectives to describe folks who have a mental health issue. It’s cruel and no different than any other type of discrimination. It’s hurtful, and it must stop!

4. Ask Others to Help Your Efforts to Destigmatize Mental Health Conditions and Illnesses

One way to destigmatize mental health is to call others out when they’re inappropriate. If you hear someone at work using derogatory terms and acting insensitive, you have the right to call them out for their words.

Additionally, suppose you see people on social media, television, or other outlets using discriminatory remarks. In that case, you have a right to stand up for the right to equal treatment for all.

5. Teach Yourself and Others About

Educating folks on mental health issues can help to take away some of the stigmas. For instance, knowing statistics, stories of others, and engaging in good conversation can help normalize these problems. The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance estimates that there are 5.7 million people in this country with bipolar disorder, so isn’t it time to talk more freely about it rather than judging?

6. Select Empowerment Over Humiliation

You can fight the stigmas by living a life empowered for change. What empowerment means to each person is different, but generally, it’s about owning your life and story.

No matter what hand you’ve been dealt, you can refuse to let the illness define you. Additionally, the opinions of others should never dictate how you feel about yourself either.

7. Show Compassion for Yourself and Others

Being kind and compassionate for others is one of the best things you can do. It shows you’re a human being with needs and issues too. Rather than casting judgment, use understanding. Listen to people as they talk about their struggle with mental and physical problems.

One day, the sting of mental illness may encompass your life, and you will need support. The Universe will repay your kindness by allowing someone to be there for you.

Don’t beat yourself up if you struggle with anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns. There’s nothing you can do to avoid it, and you’re going to get through it.

8. Talk Freely About Your Mental Health Struggles

One way to fight the stigma is to discuss your mental health struggles freely. There’s scarcely a person who hasn’t been touched by depression or anxiety at some point in their life.

Being open and honest about it helps to take away some of the shocks from it. Many people will relate to your issues, whether they are willing to admit it is another story.

9. Be Honest About Treatment

It’s okay to see a therapist, a psychiatrist, and any other professional who can help you with your needs. Additionally, being open about seeking treatment can allow others to talk about it without the fear of being judged.

10. Support Organizations That Help to Destigmatize Mental Health Concerns

There are so many organizations that have made a stand towards mental health, and these are the companies you should support. Some of the biggest sponsors are:

National Institute of Mental Health
World Health Organization (WHO)
Connect With Mental Health Treatment

Share blog posts from these companies and stories on your social media and encourage others to research their sites. The valuable information these companies provide can help so many.

Final Thoughts on Ways to Destigmatize Mental Health Challenges

While things have certainly evolved over the past thirty years in the mental health industry, much work is left to be done. You must help destigmatize mental health so that people will feel free to seek treatment for the problems that plague them.

Did you know that about 70 percent of those who suffer from mental ailments don’t seek help because they’re afraid or believe the stigmas? The National Library of Medicine shows statistics from studies conducted around the country, and the numbers are alarming. Even delaying treatment can be troublesome, especially when hope and help are available and people can find relief.

The change will come when you stand up and be the voice of reason. Remember, you might not have the ability to change the masses, but you can make a difference to just one person who listens.

9 Reasons Why Setting Small Goals Helps You Accomplish More

June 12, 2022 by Kristen Butler

As a child, you learned how to set goals to get something you want. If you wanted to buy that new toy like your friend, you planned to save your allowance until you had enough money to buy it. This simple life lesson about setting small goals for more significant outcomes can serve you well into adulthood.

Do you have dreams that you want to turn into reality? Unfortunately, there’s no magic wand that makes it happen. It takes careful planning and dividing your goals into smaller ones to accomplish anything. Each step brings you closer to your destiny.

Some say that setting small goals is all about visualization. For instance, if you want to go on your dream vacation to a tropical island, you must first be able to imagine yourself basking in the golden rays of a beach. Once you see yourself in this location and enjoying the rewards of your labor, you can encourage yourself to work for this goal.

While you might find motivation for a tropical beach vacation, it may be more challenging with something like finishing your master’s degree in college. However, if you look at the big picture of a goal like that, you will see that setting small goals to get through a quarter or semester is beneficial. The point is don’t get overwhelmed by the finish line.

Nine Smart Reasons for Setting Small Goals

Are you ready to confront the daunting tasks before you? They won’t be so intimidating once you’ve turned them into small tasks you can do every day. Here are eight reasons why you can realize your dreams and accomplish more with small goals.

1. The Road of Success Has Small Steps

The great Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu proclaimed that you must take the first step to start a journey of 1,000 miles. This iconic proverb is true with physical journeys as well as your life’s progress. If you stand frozen and dread the long trip, you’ll never go anywhere until you start walking.

Dividing your goals into small goals makes the task a little less overwhelming. For example, let’s say you want to lose 75 pounds to be healthy. Seeing that a large number may be intimidating for you.

However, you could break the final number into doable goals, like losing 10 or 15 pounds. Instead of being overwhelmed to lose a massive amount of weight, it’s easier to strive for a few pounds at a time. According to an article published by Forbes Magazine, achieving small goals regularly can keep your motivation stronger.

2. Setting Small Goals Inspires Action

Have you ever participated in a race? The closer you get to the finish line, the more motivation you get. This same principle also relates to dividing and conquering goals in your life.

With each successful step, you’re that much closer to achieving your dream. You get your second wind and work harder on the next few steps. You’re less likely to become discouraged and give up.

3. They Offer Clearer Focus

Many people decide to plan like some corporations and make five-year goals. While planning that far in advance is admirable, it may be too much for your mind. As busy as you probably are, it may be challenging to set goals for the next six months, let alone five years.

Of course, you can set goals for years into the future. Perhaps you’re in college now, and you’re planning graduate school and a career path. Those will take some time and careful financial planning.

Give yourself better focus by breaking this five-year plan into one year or even a few months. It’s much easier to focus on a year rather than a few years out into the future. You still have an important goal, but you realize it bit by bit.

4. Setting Small Goals Can Build Your Confidence

Remember the story of the Little Engine that could? He faced climbing a massive hill with a heavy load. He would’ve never made it to the top and beyond if he had only concentrated on the difficulty.

With each chug of his engine and turn of his wheel, he made it a little farther up the hill. It gave the Little Engine confidence and momentum as he cheered himself on with “I think I can, I think I can.” These small victories took him to the summit.

It’s amazing how many real-life principles are presented in children’s literature. In an article published by Random Acts of Leadership, they discuss how smaller goals are part of the Success Cycle.

The second step of this cycle is to narrow your focus. If you spread yourself too thin on a big goal, you’re more apt to get discouraged and fizzle out. Instead, focusing on smaller goals builds your confidence to take the steps to the top of your hill.

5. Small Victories Cultivate New Habits

In an article published by Brain Pickings, they explain how people develop new habits. It took an average of 66 days for the 96 participants to complete a further action automatically.

However, she is quick to note that many experts say it probably takes longer to develop more difficult habits. Either way, successful repetition seems to be what forms new patterns for a lifetime.

It stands to reason that success will become a habit when you divide a larger goal into smaller ones and achieve small victories regularly. Your mind and body become accustomed to working for what you want, and you won’t accept anything less. Making success a daily routine brings rich rewards in the long run.

6. You’re Less Likely to Procrastinate

Remember in school when you had to do large science projects or other lengthy assignments? Usually, the teacher gave you a generous time block to work on the task at home and school. Perhaps you were one of the many students who felt overwhelmed and kept putting the project off until the last minute.

Unfortunately, procrastination can follow you into your adult life. Maybe your supervisor asks you to complete a report or project by a specific date. The research and compilation may seem so taxing that you dread opening the first file.

Not only can procrastination affect your job performance, but it may make the difference in getting the raise or promotion you wanted. In fact, it could land you in the unemployment line.

Breaking a large project into small goals works for school children and high-profile executives. When you complete a small task each day, you feel accomplished and less stressed. You aren’t as apt to procrastinate, and you will reach your goals or deadlines.

7. Setting Smaller Goals May Help You Anticipate Barriers

No matter how hard you work and plan, you’ll always find wrenches in the works along the way. Overcoming obstacles is part of human nature and is one that makes victory so sweet. Nobody ever reached the summit of their goals without interference of some sort.

When you deal with smaller goals, it’s easier to anticipate any snags. For example, say you ordered some supplies you needed to complete a project. You were proactive in faxing your order in case of delays, so you aren’t without supplies in the 11th hour.

Can you think of ways you can expect problems in your path before they arise? This will be part of how you’re getting smaller, attainable goals. Coping with delays and other issues on a smaller level can make the larger task easier.

8. Creating Milestones

During the heyday of the Roman Empire road system, milestones were established to let travelers know how far they’ve gone. It also told them how much farther they had to travel to their destination. Think of your smaller goals as milestones toward your life’s destiny.

First, these bite-sized goals remind you of how far you’ve traveled. You can appreciate your hard work and all the hurdles you’ve jumped over to get from point A to point B. Taking a breather and acknowledging this milestone builds your confidence as a person who sets goals and wins.

Now, consider how this milestone directs you to how much farther your destination is. Since you’ve come this far successfully, you know what it takes to make it across the finish line. Count the small milestones along the way and realize that’s what it’s going to take to achieve your greater missions. These milestones are a testament to your determination.

9. They Help with Other Goals

Most people divide their goals according to their personal and professional life. Your goals may also have subcategories that may overlap. No matter which type is the subject of your focus, achieving small goals can be the incentive for ones in another category.

Say that you work for an advertising agency, and you’ve always dreamed of branching out on your own. The goals you accomplish at work are bound to inspire you to work on personal goals. You’re gaining skills and knowledge to set and meet goals for your own business.

Sometimes, your success at work can help you at home. Do you vow to help you and your family be more organized? The same little goals you accomplish for organization on the job can be carried over into your house. You can also incorporate successful steps you have at home into your workplace.

Final Thoughts on Setting Small Goals for Success

Everybody has dreams they want to accomplish in life. If you have big goals, you should know that you can do anything you set your mind to do. When you focus on setting smaller goals, each little success will help make your bigger dreams a reality.

4 Signs That Reveal Someone Is Using Manipulation Tactics

June 12, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

It’s sadly quite common to encounter someone who’s toxic or who engages in manipulation tactics. The chances are that if you’ve been around enough people in your life, you would have encountered a fair number of manipulative and downright poisonous people.

But toxicity isn’t always easy to spot. Besides that, you can fall prey to those machinations if you remain unaware. Here are four ways to spot toxic people to escape their manipulation tactics.

1. They Avoid Responsibility By Deploying Manipulation Tactics

Toxic people often want to avoid having any responsibility at all for their mistakes or issues. They don’t want to ever be in the position of “wrong.” It’s no surprise, then, that many manipulators are motivated by the desire to improve their appearance to others and get away with harm, say studies.

It can be hard to fight the toxicity of someone who is always avoiding responsibility and accountability. Trying to go toe-to-toe with them will lead you in circles because their goal isn’t a resolution – it’s to get off scot-free. Here are some signs of a toxic person trying to manipulate their way to responsibility avoidance:

· They Project

Projection is the act of putting your emotions onto someone else, assuming everyone else feels what they feel while also denying your feelings. For example, an individual projecting their envy of you will accuse you of being envious of them. Or an angry individual will accuse you of being in a bad mood. A toxic person will continually project their own emotions onto the people around them, refusing to take responsibility for their feelings and insisting that they are yours. Don’t fall into the trap of defending and justifying yourself! This doesn’t have anything to do with you, really, and you’ll wind up going in circles.

· They’re Always Right – But They’re Not

People are wrong all the time, and we mainly accept that this is just a natural part of being human. But a toxic person refuses to admit that they could ever be wrong. They will twist anything to make it, so they seem like they’re right, even when they aren’t. Learning to note this so you can take what they say with a grain of salt will help you filter out the nonsense and stick to talking to those who will take responsibility for incorrect information.

· They Don’t Apologize, Even If You Confront Them About The Manipulation Tactics

Toxic people are focused on avoiding responsibility – and that means they can’t admit to fault. Instead of apologizing or even just owning up to something they’ve done, they’ll opt to lie, twist the situation, deflect blame, and deceive so much that they’ll even convince themselves they’re right. If you want an apology from a toxic person, you need to be prepared not to get it. Focus on maintaining your position of truth and disengage once it becomes clear that there will not be a positive outcome. There’s no sense in wasting your time.

2. They’re Focused On Themselves

There’s nothing wrong with putting yourself first, and you should be your priority in life. But toxic individuals take this to the next level. They don’t just take care of themselves – they’re obsessed with themselves to the level of focusing only on their little world. They behave as if they’re the center of the universe and can’t relate to other people. Here are some signs of this manipulation tactic in toxic people:

· They Take and Never Give

Toxic people always seem to expect and insist upon the “charity” of others. They have no interest in reciprocating any of the help that they receive and continually feel entitled to that help, often in an infuriating way. If this is pointed out to them, they may accuse you of being calculative or selfish or even find a way to explain that their acts of taking were acts of giving towards you. Know the value of your efforts and labor, and don’t fall victim to toxic people trying to take care of your desire to give!

· They Boast

Being proud of how far you’ve come is a fantastic and positive thing! But toxic people will only use their pride in their accomplishments to put down other people. When you talk about your achievements, they’ll barge in and overpower you with their own stories, and they can’t help talking about themselves at all times, no matter how irrelevant it is. Please don’t give them the satisfaction of attention!

· They Want Everything To Go Their Way

The world doesn’t revolve around anyone, much less a toxic person. But that doesn’t stop them from desperately wanting it to or genuinely believing that it does or should. This can make toxic people very controlling. They’ll try to make you fall in line with their desires and be very overbearing about what they want to be done. Make sure that you stand up for yourself with positive thinking. Don’t let them push you around!

3. They Try To Make You Feel Bad About Yourself

You would think that it would be easy to notice when a toxic person tries to manipulate you into losing some of your self-confidence. But in reality, manipulators are very good at using underhanded tactics that make them look innocent while dragging you down. This can leave you second-guessing yourself, wondering if you’re too sensitive, or even directly making you feel like you’re the bad guy.

Debasement, which is the act of reducing the quality or value of something or someone, is a common manipulation tactic that research has long shown. Guard yourself against that toxicity by being aware of these common signs that someone is trying to make you feel bad about yourself with indirect manipulation:

· They’re Critical and Judgemental

Toxic people tend to judge the people around them harshly, jumping to false conclusions about other people’s character and capabilities based on arbitrary things. Worse still, some toxic people disguise this by claiming that they’re just giving healthy constructive criticism, urging you to accept their words with positive thinking. But there’s a difference between valid feedback and plain insults. Don’t let them convince you their terms are more helpful than they are.

· They Let Their Tone Carry Weight

A toxic person is very good at saying things that sound nice while their tone is anything but that. Given how much stock human beings put into all forms of communication – including what is technically unspoken – toxic people know that they’ll get their message across without explicitly stating it. Words such as “It looks like you had a good day!” seem positive, but the tone can completely change that.

For example, that sentence could be intoned to say, “It takes so little to please you so you have a good day, which I think is pathetic.” or “My day was so much worse than yours, and I’m so angry that you didn’t ask me about it first!”. If you call them out on these tones, though, they’ll be able to deny it by saying that all they said was that you had a good day. It can be frustrating to deal with this toxicity, and sometimes the best option is to either play oblivious or directly ask for better communication.

· They Make You Feel Defensive as a Manipulation Tactic

Do you notice that you tend to feel very defensive around a particular person? Specifically, do you often find yourself having to justify yourself for reasons that seem obvious? Think about your interactions with them and consider why you feel this way. The chances are that this person is toxic. Perhaps they meet everything you say with criticism or argument, or they always have something negative to say about your actions. If you find yourself in this situation, disengaging from that person is your best option.

4. They Paint Themselves In Dishonest Ways

Dishonesty and deception are almost synonymous with manipulation, which is why toxic people tend to present themselves in inaccurate ways. Unfortunately, most people aren’t going to automatically assume that someone is dishonest, so toxic individuals can manipulate others into believing that they’re someone completely different all the time.

It’s tougher than it sounds to see through this dishonesty. Here are some signs to look out for that a toxic person is painting themselves incorrectly:

· They Always Play The Victim (One of the most common manipulation tactics)

Playing the victim allows someone to gain attention and sympathy and involves pretending to be innocent of all wrong, pointing to many different things that have harmed them instead. For example, if they were late for something, they’ll whine about the terrible situation they’re in with their personal lives, or they’ll blame someone for not reminding them. Toxic people are very good at perfecting the victim act, making people feel sorry for them even when they take ownership of their actions and circumstances.

· They Pretend To Care

To look like a good person, someone who is toxic will need to make it seem like they care about you and the people around them. Of course, someone whose goal is manipulation isn’t going to care about you or anyone else, so they must opt for deception instead. They’ll pretend to be sorry, sad for you, or sympathetic to gain your favor. Keep an eye out for dishonest behavior, and don’t be fooled by compassion that isn’t genuine. The valid concern is followed up by action.

· They Behave Inconsistently

Human beings are complex and have different moods and thoughts based on different situations in their everyday lives. But with toxic people, that natural level of unpredictability reaches new heights. Their opinions and beliefs could swing from one extreme to the other depending on the day. They could treat plans one way now and immediately switch tomorrow. It can be very confusing, especially if it is accompanied by an apparent negative pivot in attitude that makes you feel like you need to help them or figure out what’s wrong. Once again, disengaging from inconsistent and manipulative behavior is the best way to handle this issue.

Final Thoughts On Some Ways To Spot Toxic People And Escape Their Manipulation Tactics

It can be hard to deal with toxic people. But the first step is being able to tell when someone is behaving in manipulation tactics. Once you know someone has these traits, you can learn to escape their ploys and disengage from their rhetoric.

3 Reasons Why You Should Stop Controlling Everything

June 11, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Do you feel pressured to be and act perfect? Does the pressure of your responsibilities make you feel the need to control everything at all times? Do you feel like you’ve forgotten how to let go and relax? In this hectic world, the need to feel in control is a hole many people fall into. And, if you are that way, it is not your fault. Thankfully, there are ways to learn to let go and focus on growth.

How Does A Controlling Behavior Manifest?

People need to be able to have control over certain aspects of their life. Otherwise, you couldn’t plan and make sure your life is in order. No one is suggesting you suddenly start not caring about if you get fired or not, but maybe needing to be in charge of what your friends wear on a night out is a bit much. But where’s that fine line between being in control of your life and having a controlling behavior?

Research has shown that controlling behaviors are either genetic or environmental. You are either born with a heightened need to make sure everything goes exactly how you want it to go or you are raised like that. If your parents always took charge of your life and you were raised surrounded by strong language such as “you have to wear that shirt because I say so”, “you have to study at least five hours today.” Other similar statements, chances are you don’t know any better than replicating that behavior yourself.

Controlling behaviors often stem from anxiety or fear. When uncertainty is your biggest enemy, you want to do everything in your power to eliminate it from your life. But this action leads to more anxiety, severe self-criticism, troubled relationships, and wasted time and energy.

Are You Prone to Controlling Everything By Nature?

If you are not sure whether you have a controlling personality, here are some signs that you should look out for:

Needing to know what will happen, when it’s going to happen and how it’s going to happen at all times.
Over-planning and think there’s only one way of doing things
Getting mad when things don’t go according to your plan
Becoming critical of others and tend to boss them around
Disliking change and surprises
Having absurdly high standards
Distrusting of others and their way of handling things

If you find that some or all of these apply to you, you might be a bit of a control freak. But that doesn’t mean you will be like that forever. There are ways to learn the art of letting go.

How To Achieve Change?

In this context, the best way to strive for change is through long-lasting growth and personal development. The concept of growth is believed to be the foundation of one’s way of being.

You get to know, express, and trust all aspects of your human experience through inner growth. It is often defined as the subjective experience of change in behaviors, thoughts, and feelings.

Personal growth is said to occur through a reflective process. People analyze their past and present and envision their future selves. To achieve change and growth, you must be ready to look inward and be analytical. You must set a goal you desire to reach; acknowledge your flaws and work towards fixing your flaws to be able to achieve that goal.

This process is often associated with a lifestyle change, with performing new activities and trying new approaches in life. It was found that change promotes happiness, mental strength, and emotional resilience.

Three Reasons Why You Should Stop Controlling Everything

The journey towards growth and change might seem antithetical with perfectionists and controlling mentalities, and, in many ways, it is. But that doesn’t mean controlling people can’t learn to relax and embark on the road of self-discovery.

1. Controlling Everything Can Make You Feel More Fearful

Whenever you feel like uncertainty is going to be the death of you, remember, it might all be in your head.

Most times people tend to be their own worst enemies. Perfectionists tend to overthink every little detail of their life, thus creating dark scenarios that will never come true in the real world. This leads to overwhelming fear, which in turn leads to stress, a constant state of anxiety and shuts you down.

When compelled by fear, you turn to fight or flight mode. You feel like you need to control everything around you, otherwise, you will get hurt. But that is just not the case. Even though all fear is legitimate, this type of fear is all in your head and you have the power to extinguish it.

The experts agree that controlling everything feeds your fear!

Clinical psychologist Robert Puff, Ph.D., suggests facing your fears head-on as the most effective strategy. If you can manage to logically understand why you are afraid, and embrace whatever consequences that fear might have, you will be freer.

Imagine being afraid of crowds. Logically, why are you afraid of that? Because you are afraid of not being able to escape. Why is that a bad thing? Because tragedy might strike and you might find yourself in a middle of a riot, let’s say. Okay, that isn’t good. But the likelihood of that happening is low. Moreover, you cannot stay inside your house all your life. No amount of Postmates is going to allow you to never go out in society. And can you control when there’s a riot? Obviously not. Instead, focus on the consequences. What is the worst that could happen? You might get robbed. Okay, that’s also bad. But is it as bad as you replaying worst-case scenarios in your head? Is it as bad as trying to control your every little step? Definitely not.

As you try to understand your fears and think logically, you will also be in a better state of mind for growth and change. Facing your fears means a change in your lifestyle, it means reflecting on who you are and why you feel what you feel. Through discovering yourself you will be able to learn to let go of the need for constant control.

Letting go and trying to go with the flow is going to prove that you are scared for no reason. Try going to the park without a planner in hand. Just go, walk around, sit on a bench, read. After all is said and done, you will be unharmed, relaxed and you will have understood that you don’t need to control everything.

2. Controlling Everything Decreases Self-Acceptance

The main struggle controlling people have is accepting that they are human, they are flawed and they will make mistakes sometimes.

By changing up your routine and striving for growth, you allow yourself some leeway in life. In trying new activities, you will learn that sometimes failure is normal and to be expected. You will make mistakes and be forced to learn how to deal with them.

Controlling behaviors don’t allow you to try some of the things you always wanted to do. How could you ever pick up a new hobby if you don’t allow yourself to do things that don’t have a direct and pragmatic benefit for your life?

Trying to control everything is not going to make mistakes and flaws disappear. It’s only going to make you frustrated and self-critical of yourself. Why lose sleep over trying to control the inevitable when you can change up your routine and embark on a new journey?

The best way to learn to let go is to force yourself to do something new, something you never thought you would do. Try something crazy, like skydiving. Learn a new language. This sort of change will make you accept who you are as a person and will leave room for growth.

3. Trying to Control Every Situation Can Hinder Your Relationships

People who are controlling to a fault tend to push people away because of their tendency to be judgmental and critical of every little decision others make.

Christi Garner, a cognitive-behavioral therapist, suggests that maintaining healthy relationships starts with yourself. She states that control should be seen as a coping mechanism for anxiety, a primal reaction to fear. Therefore, if you feel the need to be in control of how your relationships develop, chances are you are afraid of something going wrong.

But the people close to you feel this fear and they know you are trying to control how they act for your own benefit. Needless to say, people hate being controlled. Don’t be surprised if you find them slowly letting go of their relationships with you.

Change and growth are the only ways to make sure this won’t happen. If you want to keep your friends, family and loved ones close, try a different approach. Instead of always needing to manage when and where you meet up, give them the chance to organize. Instead of trying to change the way they act, acknowledge that you have no right over their lives and maybe you should be the one to change and become more accepting.

Why does it matter?

Controlling a relationship can mean you feel frustrated and disappointed in the people close to you. You might find yourself guilt-tripping them, or giving the silent treatment. You might feel jealous or anxious when they are with other people.

Find a support system if you feel this way, pinpoint your triggers and focus on change, either internal or external. Allow people to do the things you are so afraid of, like setting up a date or going out without you. Try to get to know new people yourself.

Change is essential for letting go and learning how to be a good friend or partner again.

Final Thoughts On How To Stop Controlling Everything And Focus On Change

Exerting excessive control over others can make people irrational. Sometimes, it’s not even about fear, you were just raised to be controlling. But this behavior is not doing you or others any favors.

Change and growth are the things you should focus on if you want to turn your life around and learn to let go of the tendency of controlling everything. Try reflecting on who you are, be rational, and try new things, and you will become less fearful, more accepting of who you are, and you will have better relationships. And, who knows, you might even find yourself leaving the house without a planner!

4 Possible Negative Effects of Therapy or Counseling on Mental Health

June 11, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

You know that counseling is usually positive for people who need help with their mental health. However, some people experience negative effects of therapy. Unfavorable outcomes are infrequent. Still, they are worth noting as you weigh the pros and cons of treatment.

Therapy is a trusted go-to for many individuals who struggle with their mental health. The use of treatment, counseling, or psychotherapy, which is a therapy that applies psychological theories and methods to treatment, can be a beneficial way for individuals to work through their mental conditions, disorders, and imbalances.

Admittedly, there is still a lot of stigma surrounding therapy and other mental health interventions. Much of which stems from a lack of understanding of the nature of mental disorders. In recent years, activists and experts have attempted to overwrite that stigma by showcasing the many benefits therapy and counseling may hold. Indeed, that is a good thing!

Unfortunately, in the process, many have lost sight of the grey areas within mental health interventions. Psychotherapy and counseling are under-researched areas of science, and though they have had proven benefits, problems and adverse effects remain an issue. From side effects to the poor practice of the professionals involved, studies have found that between 5% and 20% of therapy and counseling patients experience adverse effects.

This is not to say that you should avoid therapy or counseling altogether. Instead, it suggests the necessity of understanding that neither are miracle cures and being prepared for “side effects” – as you would with any health-related procedure. So, what can you expect, and what adverse effects of therapy should you know? Here are four possible negative effects of therapy and counseling on your mental health.

1. You May Develop A Dependency

The goal of therapy or counseling should be to equip you with the information you need to continue living your life unassisted after completing an intervention program. But sometimes, treatment doesn’t successfully meet those goals, causing you to become overly dependent on that intervention.

This outcome might happen as a result of these things:

An overdrawn period of therapy or counseling extending beyond the actual needs of the patient.
A failure on the part of the professional to educate the patient on how to properly apply the intervention results to their everyday life.
The development of a victim mentality by the patient due to the way they look at their problems.
A failure on the part of the professional to lay out goals and set expectations for the scope of the treatment plan.
A lack of personal responsibility on the part of the patient in applying what they learn to their lives in practical ways.
An excessive level of self-absorption on the part of the patient, where they focus exclusively on their problems without factoring in those around them, the world outside, and who it affects.

Therapy dependence is a severe adverse effect that can come from improperly administered interventions. Think about it this way. If you needed surgery, the goal would be for you to continue living an everyday life after the surgery. The goal isn’t for you to continue getting that same surgery again and again. In fact, that could lead to worse health and ultimately provide no new benefits for you.

Some might say the same thing about therapy. It should not be a permanent fixture in your life forever, except in very rare or extreme cases. If you’re in treatment, you should be looking to the future and focusing on how to continue your life without it, not using your sessions as a crutch to avoid everyday life’s struggles!

2. Your Symptoms Could Worsen

When you go into therapy or counseling with positive thinking, the very last thing on your mind is the chance that all of your efforts may wind up making your problems worse. Unfortunately, this is a problem that you may face when you go out to find a professional who can help you with your mental health.

It has been noted that certain conditions or issues put someone more at risk of deterioration after an intervention. It can be tough to distinguish between the negative effects of therapy and the necessary short-term “deterioration” that is necessary for long-term improvement. However, in general, the more severe the mental health issues that you face, the higher the risks are of you deteriorating or getting worse after seeking professional help.

Research published in the International Encyclopedia of the Social & Behavioral Science shows that the heightened interpersonal issues, the seriousness of symptoms, and the severity of the diagnosed disorder can all contribute to the overall severity of the condition. These factors can affect the feasibility of positive psychotherapeutic interventions.

Some Difficult to Treat Mental Health Disorders:

Other disorders may be harder to treat effectively. These include:

When treated with critical incident stress debriefing, anxiety disorders may lead to worsened symptoms and higher scores of anxiety.
Post-traumatic stress disorder in young children, when treated with trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy, says a study in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry.
Dissociative identity disorder, when treated with suggestive techniques to encourage memory recovery, could cause an increase in self-destructive behavior.

Of course, this does not mean that you can not seek mental help if you have the aforementioned conditions. Instead, be aware of the state of your mental health over time and bring up any concerns you have with the professional you’re working with. This awareness and openness may help to prevent the worst of it!

3. You Can Learn Bad Habits In Group Therapy

Many attend group therapy for its social aspects. You can support other people, they can help you, and you can learn from each other. At the same time, you get the necessary social interaction and avoiding self-isolation. But a lot of group-based therapy interventions can do more harm than good in some instances.

Research has found that individuals in group therapy may learn harmful habits off of each other. Instead of the treatment helping the people involved improve, the social interaction may cause everyone to drag down each other. This is a significant concern for certain types of group therapy!

It’s worth noting that this is especially prevalent in youth group therapies. Besides that, a lot of other group interventions work perfectly fine. It can vary from community to community, depending on the people participating. So it’s a good idea to be aware of the possible adverse effects anyway, even though you’re still likely to benefit from group therapy.

4. You Could Have A Poor Therapist or Counselor

The professional who treats you is an integral part of your mental health intervention experience. Research has found that many common negative effects of therapy come from harmful therapists. Some kinds of negative professionals are these:

· Lack of Empathy

A counselor or therapist must respect their patient and provide them with a kind, understanding, and empathic ear. Being especially self-focused or harsh can cause a patient to feel that the counselor is pushing aside their concerns. Poor empathy from a professional in this scope can completely ruin the positive thinking levels, as they seek to be heard but are instead met by coldness and an inability to relate or understand.

· Passive Behavior

A therapist or counselor may behave very passively towards their patient. This behavior might lead to an alienated feeling on the part of that patient. The latter may feel alienated and deprived of critical features of the necessary therapeutic experience, including feelings of hope. Professionals who tend to treat their patients in passive ways can seem distant and disinterested during sessions.

· Controlling Behavior

Some therapists or counselors may behave in controlling manner, overstepping boundaries and repeatedly insisting on forcing specific patient outcomes. It’s easy to see why this isn’t considered a positive form of treatment!

· Underestimations

A counselor or therapist needs to understand and validate the severity of a patient’s symptoms. Professionals who fail to do so may underestimate the conditions of those they treat, leading to incorrect treatment methods.

· Lack of Experience

Not all therapists or counselors have the right experience for certain patients. A professional could be well-versed in depressive disorder intervention. But they are out of their depth in trauma work, for example. And, of course, some newer professionals in the field may not benefit from sufficient experience in their line of work. Therefore, they may make mistakes with their patients.

· Wrong Fit

Sometimes, a therapist or counselor isn’t inherently bad. They’re just the wrong fit for you. Their experiences working with patients may not benefit you. Or their methods might not quite work for your issues and how your brain works. Getting caught in the trap of sticking with the wrong therapist can lead to uncomfortable, unhelpful, and ultimately unproductive counseling or therapy sessions. Recognizing when someone’s style isn’t working out for you is important.

Final Thoughts On Some Possible Negative Effects Of Therapy And Counseling On Your Mental Health

Therapy and counseling can both be beneficial when you’re facing difficulties with your mental health. Unfortunately, a lack of sufficient research means that people are unprepared for possible adverse effects. Indeed, they may not realize the existence of such effects until it is too late. This is especially harmful to those already in a very dire mental state when seeking help!

Of course, this is not to say that you should avoid that help altogether. The purpose of this article is not to frighten you away from therapy or to decide against seeking help. Instead, it is to ensure that you are aware of the complex natures of therapy and counseling. Indeed, this knowledge can prepare you for and become aware of any adverse effects.

If you’re facing mental health struggles or even need some help with specific psychological factors, don’t fear therapy or counseling. You can benefit immensely from professional support for any personal health struggles, including mental ones. There is no shame in seeking the help that you need.

So, what should you do so you can benefit from therapy and save yourself from negative effects? Start by shopping around to meet different therapists. Get to know a few options, and then decide from there who you’d like to work with. Be aware of the signs that you’re experiencing negative effects. Then be prepared to stop going to the intervention if you encounter such issues. It cannot be easy to find the right therapist or counselor, but the positive results will be noticeable!

3 Ways Airing Grievances Creates Negativity

June 11, 2022 by Chris Butler

If you’re like most people, you have someone in your life who’s a chronic complainer. It doesn’t matter how much you try to accommodate them kindly. They always want to air their grievances, creating a whirlwind of negativity.

Such negativity often creates a toxic environment for others. Chronic grumblers prefer to use words like “always,” “never,” or “too” in their general conversation. They say things like, “It’s always too cold here,” “I never have good luck,” or “They always do that and never think of me.”

Dealing with such attitudes can try the most patient mate, family, friend, or coworker. You’ll hear a usual list of grievances from A to Z, including past grudges. Try as you will; they’ll always find some reason to be ungrateful and petty.

Do you see some of these negative patterns in your speech and actions? Many chronic grouches often try to excuse their behavior by saying, “that’s just how I am,” or “I tell it like it is.” But what if how you are and your skewed opinions hurt you more than the supposed problems?

3 Ways Airing Grievances Causes Negative Thinking

A disgruntled attitude does much more than smother you in negativity. It can isolate you from others and rob you of any joy and hope in your life. Here are three ways that chronic complaining can affect your well-being:

1. Complaining Affects Your Brain

Your brain is the most intricate computer in the Universe. Like a mechanical operating system, it’s hardwired to keep your body running efficiently. Your daily habits register in your brain, and they create neurological paths that make these actions easier.

In other words, the more you do something, the more apt you are to repeat it. If you’re a chronic complainer, you’re programming your brain to continue the negative thoughts and actions. Your brain recognizes a pattern and makes it part of your neurological processes.

How chronic complaining affects the brain was the subject of a revealing study published by Stanford University. Researchers discovered that not only can complaining rewire your brain, but it may also shrink your hippocampus. Since this area is crucial to your intelligence and problem-solving abilities, shrinkage can be devastating.

2. Constant Grievances Attract Negative People

One of the beautiful aspects of the law of attraction is how like attracts like. The more positive affirmations you project into the Universe, the more positive results come back to you. However, this law also works on the negative side, and you draw more negativity when you are pessimistic.

Those who constantly voice their dissatisfaction will attract the same negative people into their circle. Have you ever heard the saying that misery loves company? When you grumble and grovel and rarely have anything positive to say, these people will join your chorus of woes.

Plus, negative attitudes and chronic complaining are usually a big turn-off to most people. These actions repel those who find the silver lining and enjoy expressing their gratitude. Instead, you’ll be left with like-minded people in competition to see who’s the most miserable.

Another reversal of the law of attraction is that negative affirmations create more negative actions. Comments like, “Here’s another reason why my life is rotten,” or “Nothing good ever happens to me” invites more negativity. The Universe must agree, and you’re sure to have a lifetime of aggravation and disappointment.

3. Constantly Airing Grievances Can Affect Your Physical Health

Have you ever noticed how you feel when your conversation is rife with complaints and discontentment? Not only does it suppress you mentally, but it takes a toll on your body as well. Incessant complaining can raise your stress levels and eventually affect your overall health.

According to an article published by the National Library of Medicine, chronic stress can lead to illnesses and disease. It may make you more vulnerable to vascular-cardiac disease, hypertension, diabetes, insomnia, and some forms of cancer. Although some stress is good and can’t be eliminated, undue stress is an enemy to your body, mind, and spirit.

How to Convey Your Grievances for Positive Results

You have every right to register your problems and concerns. However, how you express, it makes the difference. If you’re being mistreated or someone isn’t keeping their end of the bargain, speak up for yourself.

1. Prepare Yourself

There is a right time and place to air your grievances. It’s not in public or at a time when emotions are going haywire. Find a quiet, private place where you can have a conversation. Beforehand, take a few healing breaths and ensure that you can positively address your concerns.

2. What is the Cause of the Grievance?

Before you can solve any problem, you must define it. Having a concise definition of the issue can minimize the chances of misunderstandings. Perhaps the other person was never aware that you had a problem.

Voice your concerns clearly and calmly. Heightened emotions often thwart the problem-solving process and may make matters worse. After you’ve stated what’s on your mind, give the other person time to respond.

3. Word Choices Are Essential

Not only is it important what you say, but also how you deliver it. You won’t get anywhere with your grievances if you start into a verbal attack. The other person will automatically ignore you or become defensive.

Instead, please focus on the problem and how it makes you feel. For example, “When you invite dinner guests over and inform me at the last minute, I feel like you don’t consider me.” Or try something like, “I feel shut out of your life when we don’t have meaningful conversations.”

You’ve gotten your point across without being offensive or accusatory. In a healthy personal or professional relationship, the other party will acknowledge your feelings. You’re creating a safe environment for practical problem-solving.

4. Suggest a Solution

Do you have a pressing issue at work? While supervisors may appreciate your honest feedback, constant bellyaching only paints you in a negative light. When you come to the table with a problem, be prepared to offer a solution.

Helpful introductory phrases for this can be “what if we- “or “maybe we could.” Notice that you’re also using inclusive pronouns to make the other person feel like part of the solution. After you’ve offered your suggestions, listen to what the other person says or suggests.

5. Be an Active Listener

Frequently people sabotage the problem-solving process by not actively listening to each other. Hearing and listening are two distinct actions. While your auditory nerves allow you to hear people, listening is an active

role.

Focus on what your partner or coworker is saying. Try to mirror their emotions and use neutral, open body language. Afterward, restate what they’ve said in your own words to assure there are no misunderstandings.

6. Write Down Ideas and Suggestions

Sometimes when you are trying to solve a problem, you may forget important details about the discussions. Keeping a pen and paper handy will let you jot them down for later. It’s essential if you are problem-solving with a group of people with multiple suggestions.

7. Be Empathetic

When you are airing grievances and offering solutions, be attentive to the other person’s feelings. Maybe they have issues that you weren’t aware of that compounded the problems. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and understand why they may have certain feelings and opinions.

8. Putting Ideas into Action

Now that you’ve presented your grievances and discussed them civilly, you can put suggestions to the test. Some problems may be solved immediately after the conversation. However, others may take a little time to implement changes in words or behavior.

How to Overcome Negative Thinking That Stems From Your Grievances

It’s unreasonable to expect yourself to be sunny and happy all the time. Life has unexpected twists that can bring a bevy of emotions. You may not have the ability to change some things, but you can choose how you feel about them.

1. Prioritize Your Issues

First, learn how to prioritize problems and grievances in your life. Are there some instances where you may be over-reacting? When you use discernment and address problems that matter, you won’t spend your days trying to extinguish imaginary fires.

2. Coping with the Complainer

There are some grumps in your life that you can’t altogether avoid. However, you can usually choose how you relate to them. Try to keep conversations upbeat and refuse to be drawn into their whirlpool of bitterness.

3. Practice Gratitude

When you are grateful for all your blessings, you’re less likely to act like an angry bear waken from hibernation. Consider keeping a running list of gratitude and post it where you can see it every day. Focus your conversations on your blessings and less on your problems.

Final Thoughts on Voicing Your Grievances

If you have a gripe with anyone at home or work, it’s fine to let them know how you feel. It’s much better than harboring bitterness, and you can strengthen your relationship with positive problem-solving. Resolve issues as soon as possible, so you can get back to enjoying the beautiful things in your life.

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