Page 307

3 Educators Who Use Art as a Valuable Teaching Tool for Teens

May 17, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Educators and art teachers worldwide have realized that art serves as a valuable teaching tool, especially for teens. In a world so focused on achievement and test scores, art offers an escape from these pressures. It’s also an outlet for self-expression and can reduce anxiety, depression, and stress.

Teens today have markedly higher rates of mental illness compared with past generations. They face compounding stresses from the environment, finances, family life, social media, and the general anxiety of modern living. With all of these pressures piling on them, it makes it challenging to maintain a positive outlook. Teachers recognize the hardships young people face and use art as a teaching tool to help them cope.

Art comes in many forms, such as painting, drawing, singing, graphic design, and making TikTok videos. Many older people look down on social media, but it does have its perks. It can serve as an outlet for younger generations and may even help them learn new skills. Many TikTok videos teach people to cook, draw, paint, tell stories, or even perform magic tricks.

It’s not surprising that teens feel drawn to the platform since it helps motivate and inspire them. However, other traditional art mediums still appeal to younger generations as they turn to art therapy for healing.

3 Innovative Educators Who Use Art as a Valuable Teaching Tool for Teens

Art teachers hope to spread the message that school isn’t just for memorizing information to pass tests. Schools today focus entirely too much on metrics and not enough on creative expression. However, the art educators featured below aim to change that, at least a little.

1 – Stephanie Keller

Stephanie Keller, a licensed creative art therapist for Counseling in Schools, helps middle schoolers work through difficult emotions with art. This teaching tool helps students connect with their feelings and make sense of challenging events in their lives. Since March 2020, when the pandemic began, Keller has been teaching middle school students from Queens, New York, via virtual learning. While it’s not an ideal way to learn, the students still look forward to their sessions together.

Keller says that it doesn’t just give students an outlet to express emotions; it also lowers stress and anxiety. Erikah, one of Keller’s students, says they’ve greatly benefitted from the teaching tool. It’s helped them work through anger issues, focus on schoolwork, and calm down after a frustrating event.

Keller typically starts the sessions with a prompt for the students and shows them several paintings to gauge their emotions. After asking which one resonates with them, they’re free to draw an illustration based on the prompt. Other times, she gives them a specific assignment, such as creating a painting on resilience based on the elements of nature.

Along with Keller’s empathy and kindness toward the students, this teaching tool helps them have a more positive outlook on life.

2 – Lauren Amigo

Another licensed creative arts therapist for Counseling in Schools, Lauren spent most of 2020 working with minority students at the Brooklyn Community High School for Excellence & Equity. The school community had been dealing with several emotionally trying events happening simultaneously. For one, Lauren said the school had been “particularly hard hit by the pandemic.”

Also, the world was reeling from the murder of George Floyd and the sometimes violent riots that ensued. Finally, the pandemic led to a rise in anti-Asian hate crimes, making Asian students at the school feel vulnerable.

With all these turbulent events, these at-risk students needed an outlet. Lauren says that using art as a teaching tool helped students process their emotions and provided a source of strength. Many of the students’ artwork depicted the pain and destruction resulting from racism. Lauren said a lot of them “used bright colors of red, which symbolized the slaughtering of many people that look like them.”

This prompted the idea for a larger project about the power of resilience. So, the school sent ceramic tiles to each student, and they worked in groups to express what personal resilience meant to them. When the students returned to school, teachers created a portable mosaic with the tiles. Lauren said this goal was to remind them of their strength in a more positive light.

3 – Tori Wardrip

Tori Wardrip teaches art at Lewis and Clark Middle School in Billings, Montana. She believes in art as a teaching tool to help kids struggling with mental health issues. During her time teaching, she’s seen the challenges students face with depression, anxiety, and other mental disorders.

This urged her to launch Creative Courage, a school support group for teens to talk about their feelings and combine nonverbal exercises. She says some students feel shy or vulnerable talking about emotions with others, so she gives them self-expression exercises. These may include emotional skills like self-awareness, social skills, and self-acceptance.

For example, students may create “mood mandalas,” using specific colors to express their emotions. They can also paint small “comfort” boxes and fill them with items that bring a sense of peace. Others list their worries and affirmations in “place book” journals, including phrases like, “Learn to accept your flaws and learn to accept beauty.” All students receive “place books” where they can jot their private thoughts down and process difficult emotions.

Final Thoughts on Educators Using Art as Teaching Tool

Art therapy has been around for decades, helping students process trauma, heal anxiety, or express themselves. It can also help students with specific mental disorders; for example, children with ADD show improved focus using art therapy. Art as a teaching tool can help children with autism communicate as well.

Art therapy benefits students of all ages, especially children and teens struggling with mental health. In today’s complex world, it’s more important than ever to teach students coping mechanisms. Thankfully, making efforts to include art in education can provide solace, comfort, and a means of self-expression during difficult times.

5 Habits That Prevent You From Attracting Love

May 17, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Are you attracting love? Relationships? Positivity? Any form of good interactions with the world around you, whether in the form of romantic, platonic, or general senses? If so, you’re not alone! Tons of people want to bring these things into their world.

But what if you’ve been trying for a while and find yourself continually hitting dead ends? Why aren’t you able to locate the things you want, and why do you keep attracting the opposite of your desires? The answer may lie within.

Here are five things that prevent you from attracting love and positivity.

1. Idealizing Others

It’s easy to put on rose-colored glasses when you’re looking for positivity and attracting love from others. But this is a dangerous game to play, as it makes you blind to the negative aspects of the situations you find yourself in. How can you find true positivity and genuine love when you’re injecting its images into places where it doesn’t exist? Here are some ways you may be idealizing others:

· You Look For Perfection

It’s good to have standards, but nobody’s perfect. Love, whether romantic or otherwise, involves an acceptance and understanding of each other’s flaws. If you set out to look for perfection, you will overlook good people and attract liars and manipulators who pretend to match your desires. You’ll also encounter a lot of negativity when you never find what you seek.

· You Create A Fantasy

When you’re about to meet someone for a date or when you approach someone at the bar, it’s a good idea to have positive thinking. But it’s a decidedly bad idea to create a fantasy about the person you’re meeting, idealizing them into a perfect partner that you can build a perfect relationship with. Not only are you setting yourself up for disappointment and the risk of being blindsided by red flags, but you’re also going to intimidate potential love interests who know it’s impossible to measure up to that fantasy.

· You Look For Someone You Need

The path of seeking positivity and love shouldn’t come from a place of borderline desperation. You should want to look for these things, but you shouldn’t feel you need them. If you try to find people and things that fill perceived “voids” in yourself, you’ll become dependent on that person or thing to survive. This is a very toxic form of behavior and creates unhealthy relationships of codependency that sap all positive things out of a partnership.

2. Lack of Self-Love

Self-esteem and self-love dictate the quality of your relationships, so if you want to be in a positive situation of love, you need to give yourself the self-love you deserve. Too often, people look for love while also looking for someone to provide them with confidence, which isn’t an excellent way to go about things. Here are some signs that you lack the self-love necessary to attract love and positivity:

· You Compare Yourself To Others

Being inspired by other people is fine, but constantly comparing yourself to those around you is a recipe for disaster that will remove positive thinking from your life. When you perform these comparisons, you’re holding your internal knowledge of yourself up against the external appearances of those around you. You don’t know their stories, what they’re like, or what goes on when no one’s looking, making all comparisons utterly useless and creating false narratives in your head that send you further into insecurity.

· You Put Yourself Down

You can’t attract positivity if the things you openly say about yourself are negative. Being aware of your weaknesses is good, but that doesn’t mean you should constantly talk down to yourself. Give yourself some credit! It will be hard to attract people who will respect and love you as you are when you don’t respect yourself.

· You Think You’re Unworthy

A viral quote from the book (and movie) “The Perks Of Being A Wildflower” is “we accept the love we think we deserve.” In other words, if you think you’re unworthy of love, you’re unlikely to accept genuine positivity and affection from others in any relationship. This insecurity makes you choose people who aren’t good for you or a partnership in general, and it puts you in adverse situations.

3. Self-Abandonment Stops You From Attracting Love

Have you heard of the concept of the abandonment of the self? It’s a set of behaviors that removes positive things from your world, facilitating further suffering. Typically, the onset of such abandonment is something traumatic or difficult to process, and when you continue to leave yourself abandoned, you wind up perpetuating your pain.

Self-abandonment means separating yourself from your inner truth, and it’s easy to guess why this can prevent you from attracting love and positivity. Here are some ways that you may be abandoning yourself without realizing it:

· You Judge Yourself

Everyone’s made mistakes, and the point is to learn from them, apologize where needed, and move on wiser and more robust. If you’ve been judging yourself, you’re holding yourself responsible for things that you should let go of, and that attracts negativity.

· You Ignore How You Feel

Your emotions exist for a reason. Even if they’re not all rational, they’re a reflection of things that bother you, the issues that remain, and sometimes, they’re entirely right about how you should feel. But regardless of whether or not these feelings have a basis in reality, they all have a basis in you. Ignoring them and repressing them only makes them stronger. What you should be doing instead is paying attention to them, finding their true roots, and working on the issues that cause them. The more you push them away, the worse they will hurt you and drive away any positivity.

· You Make Others Responsible For You

You’re responsible for your actions. When you start to separate yourself from that reality, you may expect other people to pick up after you and help you clean up your messes. The further away you get from yourself, the less responsibility you’ll want to take, and the more red flags that block you from attractive love and positivity.

4. Unmanaged Personal Issues

The fact is that a lot of the time, if you’re not attracting happiness, positive things, or love, it’s because there are things you need to work on and address in yourself or your life before you can bring positivity in. When you don’t handle these problems, you run the risk of simply never learning from your past. Here are some ways that you may have unmanaged personal issues:

· You Haven’t Admitted Your Wrongs

As already mentioned, mistakes are part of life, and everyone makes them. If you know, you’ve done wrong in the past but have never admitted that to yourself, you’re not able to work on the flaws you have that created the wrongdoing. This is a huge red flag to those who would have otherwise brought positivity and love into your life, and they will steer clear instead for fear of being your next target.

· You Have Unaddressed Baggage

Everyone has some baggage in their life, but we all need to work on these things to keep moving forward and start welcoming new, good things. If you’re not addressing the baggage you have, you run the risk of ruining potential attempts at relationships of any kind, and you certainly will perpetuate cycles of negativity.

· You Don’t See Your Patterns

Have you ever noticed that people tend to repeat the same patterns again and again, especially when it comes to relationships? It almost seems like self-sabotage. The fact is that you may have developed unhealthy patterns when it comes to love, remnants of attachment styles you developed in your early childhood. If your relationship with your caregivers was difficult or negative, or if you weren’t safe in childhood, you should be aware that the trauma from then can continue to affect you to this day. It’s not that you’re not attracting love – it’s that you’re actively seeking to recreate those familiar childhood patterns.

5. Lack Of Openness

To form positive relationships and find love – whether romantic or otherwise – you need to be open to it. Being closed off means that others don’t feel like they can form bonds with you, and they may even think you don’t want them around. This can sabotage budding relationships before they even begin. Here are some ways you may show a lack of openness:

· You’re Emotionally Closed Off

Emotional unavailability is a massive turnoff for many people. It reeks of unresolved personal problems and shows that you’re not ready to forge relationships with others. In fact, you may even start to attract closed-off people similarly, bringing new sources of negativity into your life.

· You Act Inauthentic

Everyone puts on a bit of a mask around strangers, on first dates, and in situations where there are certain social norms. But if you actively behave in a way that is untrue to you when you seek love and positivity, you’re creating a false front for others to like. No one will get to know the real you, and as you tailor your personality to each new person, your integrity erodes, and it becomes harder and harder to tell where you end, and the facade begins. If you want to attract genuine, true love of any kind, dare to be yourself.

· You’re Not Opening Your Heart, Blocking You From Attracting Love

Sometimes, the desire to find “love” in any form is overpowering, as society demands it of you. But that doesn’t mean you’re truly ready for it. If you don’t want to open up your heart in the truest sense of the word, you can’t be vulnerable or genuine with others. It’s reasonable to be wary of pain and being hurt, but ultimately an overly heavy focus on that can hurt your chances of finding positivity and love in the long run.

Final Thoughts On Some Things That Prevent You From Attracting Love And Positivity

If you want to attract positivity and love in your life, you need to put your best foot forward, no matter what kind. Working on yourself, developing your strengths, and being happy with who you are first is one of the most guaranteed ways to ensure that your life will be full of that positivity that you so desire!

Going Gluten-free Might Not Help People Who Don’t Have Celiac Disease, Study Says

May 17, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

A recent study found that going gluten-free doesn’t benefit people without celiac disease.

The study published on May 21st, 2021, by JAMA Network Open also found that women without celiac don’t experience a cognitive decline from eating gluten.

Women in their 50s and 60s who ate the highest amounts of gluten still performed well on cognitive tasks. They scored similarly on cognitive tests to women who ate lower amounts of gluten.

Study co-author Dr. Andrew T. Chan told United Press International (UPI) that people without celiac didn’t improve cognitive function on a low-gluten diet.

“This is in contrast to some … popular press that gluten was harmful and could contribute to cognitive decline or so-called ‘brain fog,'” said Chan, a professor at Harvard Medical School and a gastroenterologist at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston.

Most people in the U.S. consume gluten in their diets. It’s commonly found in foods containing wheat, barley, rye, and other grains. In people with celiac disease, gluten has been linked to a heightened risk of cognitive impairment, according to Chan and his colleagues.

Celiac disease affects approximately 1% of the U.S. population. For people with this condition, gluten triggers a severe immune response which can cause damage to the small intestine. This makes foods with gluten difficult to digest, so they must follow a gluten-free diet.

Celiac disease can also cause multiple neuropsychiatric symptoms because of the heightened immune response. Some people experience cognitive impairment, depression, and anxiety, according to Chan and his colleagues. They added that it’s unclear whether the protein triggers the same response in those without celiac disease.

The study showing gluten-free diets don’t benefit those without celiac disease.

For this study, the researchers recorded the daily gluten consumption of nearly 13,500 women in their 50s and 60s. They did not have a history of celiac disease or its symptoms. The study tracked the participants’ gluten intake over the course of 25 years. It tested their cognitive function at the study’s conclusion and compared these scores for women with the highest gluten intake to those with the lowest.

The study authors determined from the data that long-term gluten consumption didn’t affect cognitive function in middle-aged women without celiac disease. Chan said,

“People without a history of celiac disease should not modify their gluten intake under the belief that it will somehow prevent cognitive decline.”

He added that the evidence doesn’t support going gluten-free for those with no history or diagnosis of celiac disease.

However, there’s a huge financial incentive for companies selling gluten-free foods to continue pushing the diet on customers. According to Harvard University, the gluten-free food industry grew a whopping 136% between 2013 and 2015, with nearly $12 billion in sales in 2015. Interestingly, the researchers discovered that most people buying these products didn’t have celiac disease.

While gluten-free companies tout their products as beneficial to health, studies show the opposite is true. For people without celiac disease, going gluten-free may increase the risk of developing obesity and metabolic syndrome. Doctors describe this as a cluster of biochemical and physiological abnormalities that increase heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, and stroke risk. Research shows that people without celiac may experience weight gain due to improved nutrient absorption.

However, processed gluten-free foods often contain lower fiber and nutrient quality. They also tend to have more refined sugars, saturated fats, and a higher glycemic index. All of these factors can increase the risk of disease when people without celiac eat gluten-free products.

Going gluten-free isn’t necessary for health for those who do not have Celiac disease.

Unless you have celiac disease, there’s no real benefit to consuming gluten-free foods. In fact, it may actually lead to worse health down the road. Clinical nutritionist Samantha Heller analyzed the study results and agreed with the authors’ findings. She says that gluten won’t cause brain rot, despite what the gluten-free food industry claims.

There’s a lot of fear-mongering and misinformation on gluten out there, but it doesn’t poison the brain. People who don’t have celiac or a wheat allergy can eat gluten without fearing negative health consequences. Gluten will not cause brain inflammation, cognitive decline, or gut issues in people without celiac disease.

However, other preventable diseases such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and obesity can lead to cognitive problems, according to Heller. For example, Type 2 diabetes almost doubles the risk of dementia. Also, studies have found that heart disease leads to a 45% increase in impaired cognition. According to Heller, overweight or obese people have a higher risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease and dementia.

She added that, instead of pushing misinformation, we should focus on improving our overall health. Doing what we can to prevent disease will boost brain function, and it doesn’t require going gluten-free.

Here are a few common practices to maintain health and well-being:

Make sure to exercise daily, doing something you enjoy. It will make it easier to work out if you actually like the activity.
Eat more vegetables with your meals. Countries with the longest-living people eat mostly veggies and consider meat a complement to their meals.
Include fresh fruits in your diet as well, along with more whole grain products. Foods like 100% whole wheat bread, multigrain cereals, oats, and barley are healthy choices.
Avoid vegetable oils, as they’re more refined and can actually lead to heart problems. Choose extra virgin olive oil, avocado oil, or butter instead.
Consume processed animal proteins, like lunch meats and sausage, sparingly or avoid them altogether. These have been linked to a higher risk of cancer and heart problems. If you’re a meat-eater, choose fresh cuts of meat that haven’t been smoked or processed.
Drink plenty of water or herbal teas to stay hydrated. Avoid drinking excess caffeine or sugary beverages.

Final thoughts about a study showing that going gluten-free does not improve health in those without celiac

Despite the gluten-free food industry advertises, following this diet doesn’t make sense for those without celiac. If you’ve been sucked into the gluten-free trap, we hope this study will ease your fears about gluten. You can safely eat products with gluten as long as you don’t have celiac disease or a wheat allergy. You’ll save money, too, as gluten-free products are 242% more expensive than regular products, on average!

20 Signs a Friend Might Be Dealing With Spousal Abuse

May 17, 2022 by Chris Butler

Do you believe someone you care about faces a struggle with spousal abuse?

It’s normal for people to have less time to spend with their friends and family when they enter a new relationship or get married. Understandably, they want to spend every waking minute together, as new love is often an overwhelming emotion that dominates their life.

However, how do you know if the changes are due to true love or something else? Could their absence be due to spousal abuse, and do they need help? If your once best friend is hardly around and is eager to end phone calls, it can be due to a relationship issue.

As things progress, you may witness verbal bashings on the phone or watch them be dragged out of a public place because they didn’t follow orders. Many relationships start as a picture-perfect romance; however, they end in disaster.

Identifying the Twenty Most Frequent Signs of Spousal Abuse

Sadly, the indications that someone is in a psychologically abusive or physically abusive relationship are often subtle. These signs may go unnoticed to you and those around them. Most people don’t get on social media and post their need for help, as it’s up to you to figure out what’s going on.

Some signs of spousal abuse are glaringly obvious, while others are a bit more discrete. Here are the twenty red flags that someone might be dealing with an abusive and c.

1. Their Grooming Habits Are Changing

A person who seemingly always had it together may begin to look like they don’t care about their appearance anymore. Their once quaffed hair has become a rat’s nest that looks like it hasn’t been combed. The truth maybe they have 101 things on their mind, and being a snappy dresser isn’t one of them.

Did you know that one of the most significant indicators of mental illness is a lack of personal hygiene? According to Mental Help, when someone becomes depressed, their hygiene is often one of the first things to go. It’s not that they don’t care about their appearance. It’s that the things going on inside their head dominates their life.

2. A Victim of Spousal Abuse May Have Physical Wounds

It’s normal for people to stub their toe, burn a finger while cooking, or get the occasional bruise or bump. However, when you start seeing more physical wounds and the explanations become more bizarre, it indicates an issue.

Abusive situations can take on many forms, and it doesn’t always result in a black eye. If you think things might be out of whack, confront your friend about the frequency and severity of their wounds.

3. Clothing Are Seasonally Inappropriate

People who have physical wounds to hide will often use seasonally inappropriate clothing. For instance, if they usually wear shorts in the summer, they have only worn jeans this year might be a significant indication of an issue. Additionally, wearing scarves constantly or long sleeves when it’s hot outside can also indicate trouble.

4. Appearance Improves or Making Drastic Changes

While some folks let their appearance go, others try to change and become the trophy wife or husband the other person wants. You may see them get plastic surgery, do other enhancements to their body, and get a new wardrobe. They feel that it will keep the spousal abuse at bay if they become the perfect person for their partner.

5. A Victim of Spousal Abuse May Have a Changing Social Life

An individual in an abusive situation won’t be as social as before, especially since they have a big secret to hide. They will avoid social activities as they know it will upset their partner and cause reprimand or abuse.

6. The Confidence Level Has Sunken to A New Low

Was this person once confident, but now their self-esteem is exceptionally low? It’s an indication that something has changed in their life. It doesn’t always indicate an abusive situation, but it can be one sign that something isn’t right.

7. The Body Language Is Different

Body language is a significant indicator of what’s going on inside. If your once chill friend is suddenly uptight and not able to relax, it’s a red flag.

8. They’re Distracted or Preoccupied

You can’t even carry on a conversation with this person anymore. Their mind is a million miles away, and they seem to be somewhere else. They could be preoccupied with the abusive situation in their home.

9. They Can’t Put Down Their Phone with Not with Their Partner

If you manage to score some time with them, they will need to be texting or calling their spouse regularly. It’s almost as if they’re afraid of what might happen if they don’t keep in close contact with them. Those who are involved in spousal abuse certainly don’t want to upset the other party.

10. They Only Tell You Superficial Things About Their Relationship

When you ask how things are going with their relationship, they tend to keep things very surface. They don’t want to reveal too much of what’s going on. The chances are that they feel they’re to blame for the state of their relationship, and they don’t want you to see their spouse in a negative light.

11. Spousal Abuse Victims Quit Posting on Social Media Platforms

If this person always posted on social media, but now they’re gone, it’s an indication that something is going on. When someone is being abused, they try to hide so that their situation isn’t brought to light. Their abuser has them manipulated into thinking they will hurt them further or even kill them if they try to get away.

12. Communication Habits Change During Spousal Abuse

You hardly ever hear from your friend anymore, and if they do call, the conversation seems forced or rushed. It’s not that they don’t love you; it’s that they don’t love the situation that they’re in. As a result, they don’t know how to tell you that they need help.

13. They’re Distant and Blow Off Friends

Other friends and even family members are complaining that it’s impossible to get ahold of this person. They ignore phone calls, texts and don’t show up at family dinners anymore. They’ve become so distant because they’re afraid that someone might realize what’s going on in their life.

14. They Won’t Discuss the Past

They don’t remember anything before the person they’re with now. If you bring up the past, they’re eager to dismiss it because of the jealousy issues it raises with their current spouse.

15. They Stop Socializing and Doing Their Favorite Activities

Forget Friday night movies with their friends and the bowling league they were so proud of. Now, they only seem to have time for their spouse, and if they try to sneak away, it may become an ugly situation.

16. They’re Always Rushed

If you do manage to get a few minutes of your friend’s time, don’t be upset if they seem rushed. They may have time frames, and they fear what might happen if they don’t make it home in time.

17. It Always Looks Like They’re Sleep Deprived or Have Been Crying

You can tell someone who is abused by the bags under their eyes or the look as if they’ve cried all night. Since the eyes are the window to the soul, it’s evident that something internal is affecting their rest.

18. They Begin to Lie and Make-Up Stories

Your once trustworthy friend is now telling stories. You’ve caught them in a few lies, and it’s not like them at all. They’re probably covering for their abuser as they’ve confused love and devotion with a toxic relationship.

19. Spousal Abuse Victims Might Have Unexplained Financial Burdens

If you’ve noticed a significant change in your friend’s finances, it can be due to an abusive situation. The abuser will often cut off money from the other party to manage and manipulate them.

Money is almost always one of the tactics used by an abuser who needs to gain control, and it helps them keep them from escaping too.

20. The Emotions Change or Seem Fake

They smile, but it seems like this smile is forced. They will laugh, but it’s not the same as it used to be. Their emotions are fake and pushed, and their whole personality is changing.

Final Thoughts on Your Friend Dealing with Spousal Abuse

The longer a person stays in this kind of relationship, the more manipulated they will be. Additionally, a verbally abusive situation can turn physical in the blink of an eye. The worst thing you can do is ignore all the red flags.

A person experiencing spousal abuse may shut you out, but there are ways to help them. Your friend is worthy of love, the real, proper kind. They need to take back their life, and you can help.

The National Domestic Abuse Hotline is easy to reach at 1-800-799-7233. Encourage them to get help, even if you must slip them the number.

15 Things That Separate a Realist from a Pessimist

May 16, 2022 by Chris Butler

There’s a fine line between being a realist and being negative. It’s the same reason why some people can see the glass as half full while others see it as half empty. Realists take a pragmatic approach to their views and try to remain neutral rather than negative.

Let’s assume that you’ve been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. It’s a severe health condition that affects more than 7-10 million people within this country, according to Parkinson’s News Today. Considering the situation with the optimist, pessimist, and realistic individual, here are the various views that you can expect:

Optimist: “Well, thankfully, it’s not a terminal illness, and I can still live a long life.”
Pessimist: “Great, now I’m going to shake uncontrollably and end up in a nursing home on a feeding tube.”
Realist: “Parkinson’s is a serious disease that I will have to live with. Thankfully, it’s not fatal, though it will cause me some discomfort. Treatments can be helpful.”

In this scenario, the realist is right in the middle between the pessimists and the optimists. They take both the positive and negative to form an objective opinion.

They see things precisely as they’re presented. Remember, life is all about the ups and downs and craziness along the way, but you must learn to keep things in perspective. Is it any wonder why those who dwell on negative thought processes have more mental and physical health problems?

Fifteen Beliefs That Separate the Realist from The Pessimist

So how do you separate the beliefs of the realist and the pessimist? Though it’s an exceedingly small line to maneuver, there’s absolutely a difference. Here are fifteen ways for you to consider.

1. They Acknowledge Their Weaknesses

It’s never easy to admit your faults, but realist has learned that they need to be honest with themselves. If they’re always late, they will say they have this issue and try to do better. The pessimist will take the matter to heart and see it as a significant character flaw.

2. A Realist Will Accept That No One Is Perfect

Realistic folks know that there isn’t a perfect person on this planet. If you were flawless, there would be no reason to learn life lessons to help you flourish. Life is all about growth and becoming a better person.

However, the pessimist puts others down because they see them as “less than.” They look at the shortcomings within themselves and use that as a basis to judge others.

3. They Give Good Dating Advice

Looking at things factually allows you to give sound advice. When seeking help in the dating scene, you should always talk with someone with a real-world view. Pessimists can’t be optimistic about dating or falling in love, as they’re stuck in a negative mindset. Talk to someone who can look at it realistically, as they usually give advice you can use.

4. They Don’t Assume the Worst

The pessimist will look at the situation and always assume the worst. For instance, imagine your car broke down on the freeway on your way to work. They will automatically think the engine blew and they will need a new car.

A person with a realistic mindset won’t jump to conclusions until a mechanic checks out the vehicle. They know 101 things on a motor vehicle can make it stop running, and they wait until they’re faced with the truth before reacting.

5. A Realist Knows That a Difference of Opinion Isn’t a Personal Attack

Someone who looks at things realistically knows that everyone has a different opinion. The world would be boring if everyone thought and felt the same. However, a negative person tends to see differing opinions as personal attacks, which isn’t the case.

6. They Combat Issues Head On

In keeping with their rational nature, someone who thinks realistically tries to resolve conflict immediately. However, the negative Nelly wants to run and hide, as they feel hopeless and lost. Realists use their hope, faith, and spirituality to get through tough times, while pessimists fall to pieces.

7. They Know the Storms Will Pass

The pessimist is ready to throw in the towel when trouble strikes, but the realistic person knows that it can’t always rain. But eventually, the sun will shine again.

Having the “this too shall pass” attitude is constructive. Life is full of storms, and you can’t fall to pieces over every raincloud that comes your way.

8. A Realist Looks for Creative Problem-Solving Skills

One characteristic that is well-loved by sensible people is their unique problem-solving abilities. They will think outside the box to resolve an issue, and you won’t catch them losing a night’s sleep over it. However, the pessimistic person is quite different in their approach.

This individual is likely to become depressed as they feel the situation is not repairable.

9. They Have Clarity and Decency in Thinking

The realistic person isn’t expecting good things, but it doesn’t mean they’re strictly looking for bad ones. However, they use past indications and facts to gauge an informed decision.

However, the pessimist jumps to conclusions based on their irrational feelings. They let their emotions run wild, impairing their thinking and judgment.

10. They’re Objective and Scientific by Nature

If they hear on a commentary that the hole in the ozone layer is getting larger, they won’t believe anything until they look at scientific studies. They want proof that what they’re hearing is true; then, they look at the evidence objectively.

On the other hand, the pessimist would hear the report and take it as a sign of the end of the world of impending doom. They wouldn’t do any research, but they would take the person’s word from the documentary and panic over it.

11. They Don’t Dwell on What Could Be

A pessimist can drive themselves crazy worrying about the future and what could be. However, the realistic person tends to take each day as they come. They don’t get all worked up over the doom and gloom and what might happen, as they’ve learned to live in the moment.

12. They Have Hope

More people should strive to have a sensible point of view as it gives them hope. Did you know that many pessimistic people often have underlying severe mental disorders because they feel hopeless? Negative thinking can indeed affect your mind, body, and soul.

According to an article published by the National Library of Medicine, optimists have better mental health as there is power in positive thinking.

13. They Don’t See the World Through Filters

An optimist is someone who looks at the world through rose-colored glasses and might be oblivious to some dangers. The pessimist looks at the world through dark glasses, and dark clouds and rain plague their existence. However, the realistic person tends to have no filters. They see the world for what it is.

14. Realists Are Generally Easy-Going People

Those who have a simplified thought process often are very easygoing. They don’t get all worked up like the negative folks, so they don’t have much stress on their plate. They tend to take things as they come and don’t lie awake at night worrying about things that might never happen, either.

15. They’re Not Brutal

The best thing about real people is that they’re not brutal. People often come to you when they want to know the truth, knowing you will tell them the way it is without being mean. No, you won’t sugarcoat things, but you’re not going to lean into the negative side, either.

Unlike the pessimist who tends to freak out and spaz about minor issues, this individual is very informed but never jumps to conclusions. No wonder so many people like to have the realistic individual in their inner circle, as it helps keep them grounded.

Final Thoughts on Knowing the Differences Between a Pessimist and a Realist

Life is all about perceptions. Each person can look at a situation and see it very differently. For example, if you’ve been in a car accident, the optimist might say they needed a new car anyway, and the incident was a blessing in disguise.

The pessimist might say the insurance company will never pay off this loan, and they will be in debt and never be able to get another car. The realist will wait till the insurance report comes in to react. They want the facts, and they’re not going to jump to conclusions or stress till they find out the details.

Once they have gathered all the information they need, they will decide how to proceed. There are times in life when you will have a bit of all these personality types. It’s like being on the freeway; it’s always safest to ride in the middle lane, which means you’re neither going too fast nor too slow.

More people should strive to take on the realistic point of view, as it’s an excellent spot to be for overall good mental health.

15 Signs You Should Raise Your Standards in Your Relationship

May 16, 2022 by Chris Butler

Everyone has specific criteria they desire in a partner, so you raise your standards in the search.

Some have a mental checklist that they keep ensuring that they check all the boxes. However, if you can’t find someone that lives up to your expectations, you may lower your standards.

Finding love is difficult, but are your standards so high that you’re looking for someone that only exists in fairy tales or your dreams? Have you ever heard that if you don’t stand for something that you will fall for anything?

Well, don’t fall for just anybody. You want to make sure you’re with the right person. Though it’s tempting to lower your requirements to keep from being alone, you need to keep your standards high for your protection.

Remember, there’s only one thing worse than being single, and that’s when you’re with the wrong partner. The wrong guy or girl can make your life miserable. Even the good ones take work and can still drive you mad at times.

Fifteen Ways to Raise Your Standards

It sounds strange to hear someone say that you need to raise your standards. You must safeguard your heart, as once it’s broken, it takes a long time to mend. You can’t just give your heart away to anyone that checks boxes on your proverbial list.

Additionally, you cannot lower morals or beliefs to find someone who looks good on your arm. Here are fifteen ways to evaluate your standards and help you keep them high.

1. Determine What’s Most Important to You

Determine the things that you absolutely want to have in a partner. Do you like someone with a bubbly personality or a person who is quiet and meek?

Determine what values and lifestyle you want and choose someone that is a good match for your personality. Set your boundaries, and don’t deviate from them.

2. Never Be Swayed by Outside Influences

If you’re single far beyond the expected time frame, then your friends and family members feel they must help you. You will be badgered and encouraged to date people from all walks of life.

They may even persuade you to stop being so picky. However, you don’t have to listen to them. It’s tempting to buy into the loneliness and drop your criteria, but you don’t have to settle.

3. Use A Relationship Coach

It sounds like a bizarre job title, but a relationship coach can help you determine what qualities to look for in a mate. While you may be attracted to the “bad boy,” what you need is someone grounded and stable. These folks can help you put your goals in writing.

4. Keep Your Standards Purposeful

It’s okay if you have a vivid picture of what your perfect partner looks like. You want someone who will enhance your life and not destroy it. Some good standards to have for a spouse are things like the following traits, according to your needs:

•Hardworking

•Loving

•Honest

•Caring

•Highly Educated

•Wants Children

While these are all great qualities to have, you shouldn’t turn down someone just because they miss a couple of the marks. If they check most of the boxes, give them a chance.

5. Know Your Worth

Before you can love anyone else, you must first love yourself. You need to know your true worth. Don’t think dollars and cents, and don’t ever settle for anyone who treats you “less than” or brings you to a level that is beneath you.

6. Embrace The Person You Are

You’re a human being that has been made uniquely. There will never be another person quite like you. You don’t have to settle for someone with significant flaws when those times of desperation come.

Embrace who and what you are, and know that you’re valuable to your family, friends, and self.

7. Don’t Ignore Warning Signs

When you start into a relationship, you will often see red flags along the way. Some of these precursors are more ominous than others. However, when you see things that don’t sit well with you, it’s time to raise your standards, not lower them.

If someone lies or misrepresents themselves to you, it doesn’t take long for their true colors to come shining through. Sure, it’s challenging to start over from scratch, but it’s much better than living in misery.

8. Believe In Yourself

It’s okay to pat yourself on the back and be proud of who you’re in life. You can hold your head high and walk down the street knowing you’re the best person you can be. When it comes to the dating world, it’s okay to hype yourself up a bit.

Your strong, intelligent, beautiful/handsome, and it’s time you start believing it. Each morning when you get out of bed, try reciting positive affirmations that help you believe in yourself.

According to BestSelf Co, those who use positive affirmations have a better outlook on life. Nothing makes you more attractive to potential suitors than a good attitude.

9. Let The Past Guide You

Rather than wallowing in the disappointments of the past, use these life lessons as steppingstones. You’re not the same person you were a month ago, a year ago, or ten years ago. Life changes in the blink of an eye, and rather than using your past as a jail sentence, allow it to mold you into a better person for the future.

10. Learn Patience

While patience is a great virtue to have, it does not come easily. The reason why so many people end up in bad relationships is that they rush. When you raise your standards, it means you wait patiently until the perfect person comes your way.

Sure, it’s hard to sit on the sidelines while your friends get married and start families, but patience tells you that your day will come. The timing must be correct.

11. Never Give Up Hope

If you don’t have a vision, then you’ll perish. Those who don’t dream will die inside. It would help if you had hope, faith, and belief that good things can and will happen to you.

Have you ever seen someone get sick and give up their will to live? What happens to this person? Once their will to live is gone, they pass from this life.

12. Take Care of Your Appearance

Self-care is essential to being desirable to others. Raise your standards not only in your actions but also in your appearance. Get that new dress, spring for a fancy haircut, and don’t be afraid to buy that designer fragrance.

It’s time you take care of your needs first. When you take care of yourself, others can’t help but notice. It will make you way more attractive than someone who puts little thought into their appearance.

13. Don’t Compromise Your Beliefs

A desperate person will stoop to unthinkable levels to get what they want. Some people become so desperate for someone to love them that they will be with an individual who isn’t suited for them. Take, for instance, a girl that falls in love with someone she knows who uses illegal drugs.

Sure, the love and support they give them feel so good at that moment, but she has no idea the life of torment she’s in for with this individual. Nothing good ever comes on compromising your beliefs and values to find love.

14. Be Honest with Yourself and Them

You don’t believe in lying, and you’ve always been known for telling the truth. However, it’s easy to embellish your attributes a bit. The world of internet dating has opened the door for people to be dishonest.

A study was done by The Independent in the United Kingdom found that seven percent of all messages sent on dating apps were dishonest. It’s tempting, but be yourself, even if you’re hiding behind a computer or smartphone screen.

15. Be Kind

You want to show your best self when dating anyone. Raise your standards to showcase your attributes. It’s easy to play mind games and even dominate the situation, but you want to give this person the same respect you deserve.

You don’t want to appear insecure or cruel, so never talk bad or gossip about others, and treat the person you’re with well. Even if it’s the first date and you don’t want there to be a second one, enjoy the time you’re spending with them.

Just because they’re not “the one” for you doesn’t mean that they deserve anything less than your kindness and consideration.

Final Thoughts on Raising Your Standards

Many people who’ve been hurt badly raise their standards to superior levels. The goal is to avoid being hurt again. However, you take a chance each time you get involved with someone, but it’s a chance worth taking.

To find a great relationship, you must be opened to receiving it. There are amazing people out there that can click with you and be your other half, but you first must know your self-worth and that you deserve that kind of love. Change your outlook, keep your standards high, and you will find the one your soul longs for.

The Community

Our Free Community of Positively Powerful SuperFans

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!