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3 Things in Life That Aren’t Worth the Effort

May 7, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Have you ever expended time and effort on something that wasn’t worth it in the end? Doesn’t it suck to pour so much into something that never comes to fruition or ends up harming you?

Well, heads up! There are many kinds of things that you may be doing that are just like that. Worse yet, these scenarios impact your future and the life you have ahead of you. Here are three things in life that aren’t worth the effort. We also offer advice on how to be more efficient so you’ll have time to spend on those things that do matter.

3 Things That Aren’t Worth The Effort

Do these things sound like you?

1. Staying In Unhappy Situations

Many people stay in situations where they are unhappy or unfulfilled because they’ve already done so much to be in that situation in the first place. If you’re one of these people, you may be a victim of a mindset known as the sunk cost effect.

This effect states that you are likely to stick in negative or difficult situations when you feel you have invested a lot of time, money, or effort into it, as you hope for a positive outcome and don’t want your effort to go to waste. The whole point of the sunk cost effect is that it is a fallacy in nature. You should not feel bound to your past decisions just because of how you’ve worked on them. It would be best to use that information to learn, grow, and move on, not stay stagnant.

There is also another reason you may be staying in an unhappy situation: because you feel like you have to. It’s what is expected, or it’s the norm, so you don’t want to rock the boat. Regardless of which situation you resonate with, the bottom line is that neither of them is worth it.

Here are some examples of ways you may be staying in unhappy situations:

You may be choosing to get a college degree simply because it’s an expectation placed upon you. While education can be positive, academia isn’t for everyone, and it’s fair to find an alternative way to progress in life – or even just a different form of education.
You may stay in bad jobs for an extended period, even if you hate them because you feel like it’s the easiest option. There is no real benefit to long-term toiling like this. Even if you can’t quit right away, making plans and attending new interviews will help create long-term, sustainable ways to move forward.
You may remain in unhappy relationships because it’s convenient, you don’t want to be alone, and you’re comfortable with the routine. At the end of the day, you will regret staying in a situation like this; you can choose to work on the relationship or call it quits.

2. Mistreating Your Body For The Sake Of Enjoyment

People do all sorts of things to their bodies because they think they’re too young to deal with any problems relating to it or that it isn’t as bad as it seems. Unfortunately, it is that bad, and the effects add up over time. It’s not worth the effort or even the fun you have in the process to damage your body this way. This includes:

Eating a lot of junk food
Getting drunk all the time
Doing hard drugs
Not getting enough sleep
Avoiding medical check-ups

Do note that we’re not asking you to be a killjoy or never to have fun! The trick lies in moderation. Remember, mistreating your body isn’t worth the effort, but treating it well while making room for some fun is acceptable.

3. Holding Onto The Past

A lot of people are stuck in the past. The emotions, energies, and experiences that you have relating to the past are valid, but they’re not ones meant to be clung to. When you live in the past, you trap yourself and give up years and years of your life to focusing on things long gone. Here are some things you may be doing to live in the past:

· Fearing Change

Change is inevitable. Denying that fact is an act of clinging to the past, whether you want to believe it or not! It’s normal to be afraid of change, but that doesn’t mean you can’t confront it. Resisting change isn’t worth the effort because it’s a pointless activity that will never work. Things will change whether you want them to or not, and the best you can do for yourself is to get comfortable with that idea!

· Holding Grudges

There is no point in using your energy for resentment. If you were wronged, your anger is justified, but it’s also holding you back. Studies have found that resentment is bad for your wellbeing and positive thinking. At some point, you have to understand that finding the capacity to forgive is a much more worthwhile use of your time, and it helps you find peace, so your efforts don’t remain wasted. In some cases, you can salvage that relationship. In others, the act of letting go is exclusively for your benefit and not one you’d share with the person who hurt you.

· Trying To Get Back To An Old You

Many people who fall into slumps develop a desire to go back to an old version of themselves. If you’re one of those people who want to get back to who you once were, know that you’re wasting your effort on this endeavor. You fail to realize that the person you are now is already better than “old you.” You have more knowledge and more growth. What you should be aiming for is to become the best version of the person you are now. That’s worth the effort!

If you genuinely want to overcome your past, learn from it. Pick out the lessons and address the root causes of the difficulties you faced, then move on with your life with those lessons.

Make an Effort to Spend Time on the Things That Matter

Instead of dwelling on those negative situations, give your effort to the things that make a positive impact on your life. These tips will help you spend your time wisely.

1. Make Big, Long-Term Goals

A daily to-do list is a fair enough method to stay efficient, but that’s very short-term and not the kind of thing you need if you want to go the distance. What you need, instead, is a plan for the future. Where do you want to be a few years down the line? What is your end goal?

Efficiency can’t happen if you don’t know what you’re striving towards. You should be taking daily steps to get closer and closer to your goals if you want to be efficient truly, and you can’t do that without a good plan.

People often estimate how powerful goal-setting can be. Studies have long shown the positive effects of reasonable goals. Remember to make your goals wisely! They should be:

· Easy To Measure

How will you keep track of your progress? How can you ensure that you’re making the proper steps and getting to the right places?

· Timed

Set time limits for your goals and break them down further. To achieve your big long-term goal, you should accomplish a certain step in a month, another in six months, another in a year, and so on.

· Clear and Well-Defined

Your goals should have self-evident, specific definitions that allow you to gain clear motivation and direction from them. Vague goals will only leave you confused and give you room for slacking off.

· Reasonable

Set challenging goals, not impossible ones. Too easy, and you’ll lose interest. Too hard, and you’ll feel discouraged.

· True To Your Desires

Are your goals serving your long-term purpose? Is this what you truly want? Is it relevant to your life and self?1

2. Make an Effort to Give Yourself Some Good “Me-Time.”

Me-time is good for you for several reasons, all of which help your efficiency levels. First off, it gives you time to get in touch with yourself. When you know yourself better, you’ll make wiser decisions for your betterment and have an improved idea of carrying out your everyday life best.

Secondly, me-time lets you recharge your energy. It ensures sufficient recuperation, so you’ll be energized when you get back to your usual daily hustle and grind. If you’re not well-rested, you won’t be able to do all the things you want to do or make progress in many areas of your life. Here are some additional things to keep in mind for getting good me-time:

· Say No

Saying no to others can be difficult, but you don’t want to stretch yourself too thin. It would be best if you learned to put up boundaries and turn people down, even when it’s difficult. Choose how you spend your time and what commitments you make wisely. Don’t freely donate your time to anyone and everyone!

· Rest Often

There’s an incorrect belief out there that rest equals a lack of productivity. Reality is actually to the contrary. Working a lot with insufficient rest will burn you out, leading to decreased quality, worsened performance, and a significant lack of efficiency. On the other hand, committing to rests and downtime has an overwhelmingly positive effect on efficiency and productivity, often to surprising amounts! So let yourself rest and give yourself a break.

· Don’t Compromise On Set Me-Time

There should be a minimum amount of time that you must have to yourself, no matter what. It’s a boundary both for others and for yourself. You must get a specific amount of rest like this per week, and don’t compromise on that. Nothing, barring truly extenuating circumstances, should encroach on that.

3. Don’t Stop Learning

Learning doesn’t stop just because you’re older and out of school. There are always new things to discover, and there is always other knowledge to collect. Repeatedly broadening your horizons isn’t just incredibly worth the effort. Still, it also helps you focus your energy on productivity instead of things that aren’t good for your time or effort.

It’s important to continue finding new areas of knowledge to expand your mind into. This way, your free time is used efficiently, and you continue to build lifelong, useful skills. Here are some ideas for ways to keep learning:

Take a class for a new skill.
Find a mentor for a current skill.
Read, whether non-fiction or fiction.
Travel and immerse yourself in other cultures
Try a new hobby
Learn a language
Learn to play a musical instrument
Teach yourself something crafty
Do puzzles and games.
Surround yourself with intelligent people

Final Thoughts on Some Things in Life That Aren’t Worth the Effort

No one wants to waste their effort on things that aren’t worth it, so take heed! Avoid doing things that only take up your energy and focus on becoming more efficient, productive, and grounded with positive thinking.

9 Habits to Help Embrace a Success Mindset for Life

May 7, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Having a “success mindset” sets you up to achieve all your dreams.

Do you want to take charge of your destiny? Being successful requires patience, being a good learner, and hard work. The key to any significant changes you want to make in your life is changing your mindset.

Whether you want to lose weight or become a more positive person, it starts in the brain. When you change your mindset, you can accomplish anything you desire. However, if you don’t believe that you can make these changes, you won’t do it.

Nine Ways to Embrace A Success Mindset

Are you ready to make some changes so that you’re more optimistic than pessimistic? Here are nine habits to help embrace a successful mindset for life.

1. Learn to be Positive

To create a successful mindset, you must think positively. Of course, that doesn’t mean you’re going through life wearing rose-colored glasses. Negativity is the enemy of success and well-being. According to an article published by the Association for Talent Development, positive people usually perform better and are more successful.

Even when you’re optimistic, you’ll still encounter problems and setbacks. These are inevitable in everyone’s lives. You can’t always change a problematic situation. However, you can change your attitudes and work your way through them.

2. Create Clear Goals

Success has often been compared to a journey. If you don’t know your destination, how will you see it when you get there? You can spend months and years just going in circles.

When you cultivate a successful mindset, you learn how to define your goals. Where do you want to be in five years or ten years from now? What steps do you need to take to achieve it?

Many people make the common mistake of being too general with their goal setting. For example, writing “I want to be my boss” is a good start, but where do you go from there? If you want to own a successful business, what type do you want?

Taking inventory of your likes, dislikes, skills, and knowledge will help you narrow your goals. Break them into doable increments to celebrate your success with each step. Then, it would help if you had a way to keep your goals in mind every day.

3. How to Visualize Your Success

Try using a dream board as a visual aid to keep you on track. It can be as elaborate or simple as you like. It becomes your touchstone for visualization and using the law of attraction to move in the right direction.

Like a corkboard, dry erase, or even a chalkboard, any board will do. The first thing you want to do is make a definitive list of your goals. Start with your smaller goals and work your way up to the larger ones.

Feel free to add anything that catches your attention, like inspirational sayings or pictures. Use brightly colored markers and post anything that reminds you of where you’re going. Post your dream board in a place where you can see it every day and draw inspiration.

4. Understand the Law of Attraction

Many people attribute their success mindset to the law of attraction. Over the past few years, it’s been a buzzword that produced a best-selling book and a movie. Countless articles and online blogs discuss the power behind attracting happiness and success by creating it in your mind.

Forget the image of an imposing genie billowing out of a golden lamp to grant you wishes. There’s no “magic” involved in the law of attraction. The basic principle is to align your mind with the Universe to receive the things you want most.

As you create a success mindset, the Universe is working in your favor. When you are filled with positive energy, you attract other positive things from the Universe. On the other hand, releasing negative thoughts into the Universe will only bring negativity.

Words have unlimited power, so be careful what you say. Do you ever catch yourself saying pessimistic things like, “I’ll never be successful,” or “Nothing ever works out for me?” Your negative affirmations reach the Universe, and that’s precisely what you’ll get. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Set yourself up to be a winner and speak life and abundance. Let these positive affirmations become part of you as a direct link to the Universe. The law of attraction works positively or negatively.

5. Be Mindful and Present

Do you go throughout your day in a blind haze and work on autopilot? In this case, you are just existing and not living. It’s easy for people to feel overwhelmed with stress and fret about the future. Many others are trapped in the past and can’t see beyond their mistakes.

If you want to improve your success mindset, you must learn to live in the present. Try to be mindful in everything you do, from the most significant projects to the most menial tasks. The road to success is paved one brick at a time, making it a point to enjoy the journey.

Being mindful has many benefits, says an article published by News in Health. The report also states that mindful living may help you manage stress better, improve your relationships, and get more satisfaction from life.

From the moment you awaken until you go to bed at night, be aware of your surroundings and what you’re doing. Think of every task as something that is compounding your success. When you live in the present and do everything with purpose, you won’t miss out on the little joys that life brings to you.

6. Use Failure as a Learning Tool

There’s still a prevailing myth that you’ll never be a success if you have a failure. Nothing could be farther from the truth. History is overflowing with iconic achievers who failed many times before getting it right.

If these great men and women could overcome failed attempts, you can do the same thing. Instead of seeing failure as a dead end, try to view it as a slight detour on your journey. We are all fallible humans, and you will inevitably make mistakes every day.

However, people with a success mindset will learn from their mistakes and discover better ways of doing things. Embracing your failures is often a bitter pill to swallow. Use it as a tool for learning, and it turns into something positive. The only shame in falling is not standing up again to work toward your goals.

7. Keep an Open Mind

Only the trees that survive in severe weather are those that have learned to bend. Part of having a success mindset is to be flexible. While change can be stressful, it’s the only way you will survive and grow.

Where would the world be without change and innovation? Not only are needs and resources perpetually evolving, but so are you. If you aren’t part of the change, you may not reach the success you want.

Keep an open mind to newer concepts and more efficient ways of doing things. Listen to your mentors and peers and consider their perspectives. They may have ideas and changes that would be to your advantage.

Be willing to rethink your approach to daily tasks and other responsibilities. What worked for you for years may not be the answer today. You can also boost your success by furthering your education and learning new skills.

8. Surround Yourself with Other Successful People

The law of attraction also works with the company you keep. Remember the saying that like calls to like? When you spend time with positive and successful people, you will learn how to attract the same. They also make ideal mentors for sharing valuable knowledge and skills honed with years of experience.

Have you ever been to a social gathering with a negative person? These people often charge the atmosphere with their gloomy attitude, putting a damper on your good mood. If you have a toxic mentor whispering negativity and failure in your ear, it will pull you into a downward spiral.

Stay in a positive frame of mind and surround yourself with like-minded people. Even when you have a bad day, an optimistic attitude can lighten your mood. It’s also more conducive to creative thinking and success.

9. Don’t Procrastinate Away Your Chance to Succeed

Unfortunately, some people never reach their full potential because they don’t believe in themselves. It’s not narcissistic to feel that you are worthy and deserving. Healthy self-esteem allows you to view yourself not above or beneath but just as good as anyone else.

Avoid getting into the habit of believing you will be happy and prosperous only when something specific happens. For example, “I’ll be successful when I make this amount of money,” or “My happiness will be complete when I have or achieve this.” Success is all about celebrating every step of the way.

Maybe you aren’t making your desired salary or living in your dream home yet. Until you do, find the joy in what you already have. Be proud and grateful for your achievements, and watch yourself grow and grow closer to your goals.

Final Thoughts on Creating a Success Mindset

The first step of your success mindset begins by changing your outlook. When you have a winner’s attitude, you’ll do what it takes to achieve your goal. Be patient, diligent, and positive, and your life can have endless possibilities.

New Research Explains How to Stimulate Immune Cells to Fight Cancer

May 7, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

Engineers and medical researchers at the University of Minnesota Twin Cities have found a new way to fight cancer. A groundbreaking study reveals how revolutionary cancer therapies using engineered immune cells boost a patient’s immune system. In turn, this gives the patient a better chance to fight cancer.

This research could lead to improved cancer therapies for millions of people. The study was published in the journal Nature Communications on May 14, 2021.

The new method of stimulating immune cells to fight cancer will make immunotherapy even more effective. Instead of using harmful chemicals or radiation, immunotherapy harnesses the patient’s immune system to prevent or eliminate cancer. The cancer treatment involves using T cells, a white blood cell playing a crucial role in immune responses to cancer. Scientists compare Cytotoxic T cells to soldiers because they seek out and destroy targeted cancer cells.

Many clinics use immunotherapy to treat various forms of cancer in the blood or blood-producing organs. It’s been widely successful, but T cells have a more challenging time destroying cancer cells in solid tumors.

Paolo Provenzano, the senior author of the study and a biomedical engineering associate professor at the University of Minnesota College of Science and Engineering, says the following:

“The tumor is sort of like an obstacle course, and the T cell has to run the gauntlet to reach the cancer cells. These T cells get into tumors, but they just can’t move around well, and they can’t go where they need to go before they run out of gas and are exhausted.”

In this groundbreaking study, the researchers have worked on engineering the T cells to fight cancer more effectively. They’ve developed engineering design criteria that mechanically improve the cells to make them more capable of overcoming physical barriers. By enhancing the immune cells’ ability to recognize and find cancer cells, they have a higher probability of destroying the tumor.

The study that engineers immune cells to fight cancer

Within fibrous masses of tumors, immune cells immediately slow down about two-fold due to the stiff nature of tumors. However, this new form of immunotherapy could help T cells maintain speed even in solid tumors.

“This study is our first publication where we have identified some structural and signaling elements where we can tune these T cells to make them more effective cancer fighters,” said Provenzano.

“Every ‘obstacle course’ within a tumor is slightly different, but there are some similarities. After engineering these immune cells, we found that they moved through the tumor almost twice as fast no matter what obstacles were in their way.”

To stimulate the cytotoxic T cells, authors utilized advanced gene-editing technologies, or genome editing, to alter DNA in the T cells. This way, the cells have a better chance of overcoming physical barriers within the tumor. Of course, immunotherapy aims to slow down or prevent the growth of cancer cells while speeding up immune cells.

The researchers have been working on engineering cells that can overcome various physical barriers. By combining these cells, the researchers hope the groups of immune cells can effectively overcome 100% of the obstacles to fight cancer cells.

Provenzano said they would keep analyzing the mechanical properties of the cells to gain more insight into how the immune cells and cancer cells interact. Currently, the team is studying engineered immune cells in rodents and will perform clinical trials in humans in the future. They’ve focused much of their initial research on pancreatic cancer. However, Provenzano said the methods could treat other cancers as well.

Engineering T cells to fight cancer is relatively new, but it has a bright future.

“Using a cell engineering approach to fight cancer is a relatively new field,” Provenzano said. “It allows for a very personalized approach with applications for a wide array of cancers. We feel we are expanding a new line of research to look at how our bodies can fight cancer. This could have a big impact in the future.”

The treatment utilizes the body’s T cells by either isolating the cells that already target tumors or genetically modifying the cells. Scientists then take these receptors (either natural T-cell receptors (TCRs) or synthetic receptors known as chimeric antigen receptors (CARs)), expand them, and reinfuse them into the patient.

The T cells that perform the best have been engineered to express CARs that target CD19. This pan-B-cell marker exists on most cancerous B cells. Thus far, many clinical trials found that 90% of advanced B-cell leukemia patients treated with CD19 CAR-T cells achieved total remission. This shows promise for the future of engineering immune cells to fight cancer.

In recent years, scientists made considerable breakthroughs in this exciting new way to treat cancer. In July 2017, the FDA Oncologic Drugs Advisory Committee approved the first product to treat B-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia. The first CD19 CAR-T cell product, CTL019 (tisagenlecleucel) from Novartis, can treat cancer in pediatric and young adult patients.

Several other companies have been working to develop products that involve engineering T cells to fight cancer. Commercializing T-cell therapy will allow engineers to use their knowledge to expand the market for cellular products.

In the future, perhaps cancer won’t be as prevalent due to these groundbreaking forms of cancer therapy.

Final thoughts on research showing how to stimulate immune cells to fight cancer

A new study by researchers at the University of Minnesota reveals a revolutionary method of engineering immune cells to fight cancer. The team discovered that our bodies’ cells could destroy cancer, especially if they’ve been engineered to do so. There are still many unknowns regarding this form of therapy, but it shows promise. In fact, the FDA already approved one product that treats a type of leukemia using chimeric antigen receptors.

The latest research by the team from Minnesota could lead to even more treatments to fight cancer in the future.

Coffee Pulp Aids Reforestation Efforts, According to Science

May 7, 2022 by Kristen Lawrence

A recent study found that coffee pulp, a waste product of coffee production, can promote reforestation efforts on post-agricultural land.

The British Ecological Society journal Ecological Solutions and Evidence published these findings.

Researchers from ETH-Zurich and the University of Hawai`i took part in the study. First, they spread 30 dump truck loads of coffee pulp on a 35 × 40m area of barren land in Costa Rica. This equated to about 20 inches of coffee pulp. For a control, they marked a similar-sized area of land that didn’t contain coffee pulp.

Coffee Pulp Promotes Reforestation Efforts, According to Science

“The results were dramatic,” lead study author Rebecca Cole, an environmental scientist at the University of Hawaii at Manoa, said in a news release.”The area treated with a thick layer of coffee pulp turned into a small forest in only two years while the control plot remained dominated by non-native pasture grasses.”

After two years, the land treated with coffee pulp had 80% canopy cover compared to 20% on the control site. Also, the canopy in the coffee pulp section grew four times taller than that in the control area.

Adding the 20 inches of coffee pulp helped eradicate invasive pasture grasses which had taken over the land. These grasses often inhibit tree species from thriving. Once the grasses had been removed, the native tree species (from seeds that arrived through wind and animal dispersal) began repopulating.

The coffee pulp also helped revive the soil in the treated area. After two years, researchers measured significantly elevated carbon, nitrogen, and phosphorus levels in the ground compared to the control. However, potassium, a nutrient essential for growth, measured lower in the coffee-treated area than in the control plot.

The findings showed promise since the soil on tropical agricultural land becomes highly degraded over time. Poor soil quality can delay reforestation for decades.

The coffee pulp may help save tropical forests around the globe

Instead of throwing out coffee byproducts such as pulp, agricultural companies can use them to repopulate forests. Since it’s widely available and high in nutrients, coffee pulp serves as an affordable way to reforest the land.

Dr. Cole said: “This case study suggests that agricultural by-products can be used to speed up forest recovery on degraded tropical lands. When processing these by-products incurs a cost to agricultural industries, using them for restoration to meet global reforestation objectives can represent a ‘win-win’ scenario.”

To achieve the climate objectives of the 2015 Paris Accords, we must make reforestation a priority. Planting more trees means having less carbon dioxide in the atmosphere since trees absorb it at 48 pounds per year. The coffee pulp may go a long way in helping to reach those goals.

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The study on how coffee pulp can help revitalize forests

Researchers conducted the survey in Coto Brus county in southern Costa Rica. It took place on a former coffee farm that’s now being reforested for conservation. In the 1950s, developers converted the land to coffee agriculture and pasture. As a result of the rapid deforestation, forest cover fell to 25% by 2014.

For the study in 2018, researchers measured out two areas of roughly 35 x 40m. They spread about twenty inches of coffee pulp on one site and left the other as a control.

Next, the team analyzed soil samples for nutrients right before applying the coffee pulp and two years later. Additionally, they recorded the species on the land, the thickness of tree stems, and the percentage of forest ground cover. They utilized drones to observe canopy cover.

The coffee-composted plot contained five different tree species, while the control area had only one.

Scientists need to study these findings further.

While the team recorded valuable information, Dr. Cole says more research is necessary to confirm the findings.

“This study was done at only one large site, so more testing is needed to see if this strategy works across a broader range of conditions. The measurements we share are only from the first two years,” she said. “Longer-term monitoring would show how the coffee pulp affected soil and vegetation. Additional testing can also assess whether there are any undesirable effects from the coffee pulp application.”

One caveat to using coffee pulp or other agricultural waste products is that they only work in certain situations. Companies and growers can only use them in relatively flat, easily accessible areas that delivery trucks can get to. Also, nutrient runoff into nearby watersheds can be better managed in these areas. So, researchers would have to develop another solution for hillier lands used for agriculture.

Dr. Cole said about future research on using coffee pulp for reforestation efforts: “We would like to scale up the study by testing this method across various degraded sites in the landscape. Also, they might try the concept with other types of agricultural non-market products like orange husks.

“We hope our study is a jumping-off point for other researchers and industries to look at how they might make their production more efficient by creating links to the global restoration movement.”

Final thoughts on how coffee pulp helps repopulate forests

The new study by researchers from ETH-Zurich and the University of Hawai`i shows how coffee pulp can revitalize forests around the globe. After just two years, the team found that 80% of a forest in Costa Rica treated with coffee pulp had regrown. The canopy in this area also grew four times taller than that in the control plot. However, the research team found that the coffee pulp would only work in flat, easily accessible agricultural areas.

In the future, they hope to study other products such as orange husks to see their effect on reforestation. This study proves that the planet will keep providing for us if we reuse and recycle more often. As this research shows it’s important to give back what we take to maintain equilibrium with nature. So, you can feel good about your coffee addiction because it might save the planet.

20 Ways to Respond to Negative Criticism

May 7, 2022 by Chris Butler

Nothing hurts worse than when you receive negative criticism from someone you love.

Negative criticism in the developmental years can be psychologically damaging, according to Childhood Trauma Recovery. Verbal abuse is sometimes more challenging to overcome than physical abuse, as wounds heal, but words cut deep.

Whether an adult or a child, handling such negativity can be a challenge, you want people to like you, think you’re doing great in life, and be in the cheerleading section. When they say things that are criticized, it hurts badly.

Twenty Responses to Negative Criticism From Your Loved Ones

When someone you love says something that hurts you, you don’t have to take it sitting down. Depending on the personality or situation, you can use several tactics to counteract this verbally rude individual. Here are the twenty best responses to someone who negatively criticizes you.

1. Walk Away From the Negative Criticism

Sometimes, the situation isn’t even worth your time or effort. Don’t waste your precious time arguing with them if someone vents their emotions at your expense. Like the famous country music artists wrote, “You say it best when you say nothing at all.”

2. Tell Them How You Expect to Be Treated

If this person commonly criticizes you for many things, you have a right to stand up to them. Tell them how you expect to be treated if they are around you and your family. You don’t have to put up with their disrespect, and you have a right to set boundaries with them.

3. Evaluate the Remark

There may be some truth in what they’re saying, even if the delivery was wrong. Evaluate the statement they made, and you must take a long, hard look at yourself. Were they trying to help you, but it came across negatively?

4. Stop the Negative Criticism Tirade

When someone is rude enough to criticize you, you can be harsh enough to cut them off. Stop them in mid-sentence if they start running their mouth about things that are none of their business. You don’t have to listen to this garbage, as it will do nothing but hinder your self-esteem.

5. Have A Good Come Back

Remember that when you’re pointing at someone, you’re also pointing back at yourself. So, if this person is throwing stones, perhaps you should throw some back at their glasshouse. They can’t be perfect, so giving them a taste of their own medicine can be an excellent way to combat their verbal abuse.

6. Thank Them

One way to combat negativity is to use positivity. If you’re constantly trying to overcome this person’s toxic comments, then hit them with optimism if they tell you that you’re not a good parent and should be doing more for your kids.

You can say something like, “You know, you’re right. I am trying every day to be a better parent. Thank you for pointing this issue out to me.” You can almost guarantee they will have nothing further to say. They wanted to get a rise out of you, and you didn’t play into their hand.

7. Tell Them to Change Their Tone

The message this negative person is giving you might be the truth, but the delivery was wrong. Tell them you don’t mind discussing issues in the future, but you expect them to change their tune and have an open dialog rather than criticism.

8. Find Common Ground

While you may not agree with everything, this person said, maybe you can find common ground. While you may not be the best spouse or parent, you can decide to disagree on some things. Acknowledging there is an issue will defuse them a bit.

9. Ask For Patience and Understanding

No one is perfect, not even the person providing the negative criticism. Ask them to be patient with you and understand as you deal with the matter. It’s a rule of thumb never to tell someone something they already know.

Take, for instance, a person who walks up to you at a family reunion and tells you that you’ve put on weight. You already know that you’ve gained a few pounds, and them bringing attention to something you already feel self-conscious about isn’t going to help anything. It could make matters worse.

10. Tell Them They Have A Good Eye for Detail

If you can think of nothing else to say, you should commend them on having an excellent eye for detail. It’s evident this person is super observant and has the sense of a superhero. Commend them for noticing something that you try to hide about yourself and go about your day.

Here are the negative impacts of toxic positivity on your life.

11. Offer Them A Debate

If someone tends to be negatively critical of you on many occasions, why not offer them a friendly debate. Ask them to have a sit-down conversation regarding the matter. They may find they have less to say about it when you want to challenge them to a battle of words.

12. Don’t Take It Personally

It’s difficult not to take everything a person says to you personally, especially if you love them. If this person tends to be free with their comments, you must realize that you’re not the only one on the firing line. Realize they like to grumble, and they don’t mean anything by it.

13. Address Your Discomfort With the Negative Criticism

The only way these negative comments can hurt you is if they’ve struck a chord with an inner belief. So, it would help if you addressed why you feel so upset by their comment, and you should work on methods to try and fix it. The key is to get to the root cause and get busy with the issue.

14. Disengage from the Negative Criticism

If you want to end the conversation without being rude, politely disengage from the topic. This person probably wants a debate about something to get you going. When you give a sigh or make a slight noise like “huh,” then you’ve acknowledged their comment, but you don’t care to respond.

15. Show Them Kindness

No matter how unkind the statement is or how much you want to fly off the handle, smile and compliment them. For example, if a person says that the shirt you have on is unflattering to your figure, you should hit them back with a kind statement.

You can say something like, “Wow, I was just thinking about how much I liked your outfit.” People that hold you to a higher standard than most probably also hold themselves to an exceedingly high level. Overly critical people usually have esteem problems they are trying to combat, so they lash out at others to take the attention from themselves.

16. Avoid People Who Love to Engage in Negative Criticism

When things escalate to the point where you don’t even feel comfortable in their presence, then make sure to avoid them. If someone is judging your parenting, looks, or things that are none of their business, then you have a right to say who you will and won’t entertain.

17. Consider the Source

You will often receive wisdom from elders who know what they’re talking about, but some people don’t know anything. Before you get all worked up, you should consider the source.

18. Tell Them You Welcome Constructive Criticism

It’s okay for someone to offer you constructive opinions, but negative criticism is uncalled for in life. Tell them that they need to change their approach if they want to help you be a better person.

19. Ask If They’re Offering to Help

If this person is so bold as to criticize you, then maybe they’re willing to help. If they tell you that you need to dress better, ask them for a few tips and pointers. Perhaps they want to go shopping with you and pick out some new clothes.

20. Not Now

There is a time and place for everything. If someone has some critique for you, you have the right to tell them it’s not a good time.

Maybe you’ve already had a bad day, and you can’t bear any more drama. Telling them not now is a polite way of saying you don’t have time for their negative criticism.

Final Thoughts on Responding To Negative Criticism

You learn from family members who’ve been through many experiences in their life. However, having lived through some troubles doesn’t ever give you the right to be rude to someone else. Negative criticism will only drive a wedge between you and the person you love, especially when they love to pick out your faults.

The best way to combat this type of person is to consider the source. Does this individual tend to be a bit nosey and talk down to everyone? If so, you need to learn to let it roll off your back. If their comments bother you too much, it’s best to avoid them.

However, there could be some truths hidden behind all that negativity, and you need to find out what they’re trying to say and apply it to your life. If they tell you that you need to improve your cooking as the potatoes you made are awful, you may need a cooking class.

The key is not to let constructive criticism be misconstrued because you wear your emotions on your sleeve. You can learn and grow with the help of those around you, and you can also put naysayers in their place.

15 Ways Judging Other People Harms Your Own Mental Health

May 6, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Do you tend to judge other people by their character and actions? While it’s human nature, when you’re overly critical of others, it can backfire on you. Remember that whenever you point the finger at someone, there is always three more pointing right back at you.

You’re bringing a great deal of negativity into your life when you take on the role of a judge. Additionally, karma will ensure that the same judgment you meter out to others has a way of coming back on you. So, be careful of the words that come out of your mouth and the pessimistic thoughts in your mind, as they can be pretty damaging.

Fifteen Ways Judging Other People Can Affect Your Mental Health

If you tend to find fault with anything and everyone around you, you should know that it can mentally affect you. Living in such a negative state is not good for you, and it can make others want to steer clear of your presence. Here are 15 ways that fault-finding and a judgmental attitude can affect your mental health.

1. You Can Become Cynical About Others

When you’re constantly judging other people, you classify them as “good” or “bad.” It becomes difficult for you to realize that sometimes good people do bad things. You stop looking for the good in everyone and assume they are going to fail in your eyes.

Judging other people harshly keeps you from establishing or maintaining healthy friendships. Such an attitude may develop into paranoia, and you’ll think everyone is out to get you. When you can only see others with an unjust and cynical eye, you become blind to the beauty of human compassion.

2. Judging Others Can Rob You of Joy

The next time you are overly critical of another person, notice how you feel. Even if the criticism is justified, a judgmental attitude doesn’t make you feel good about the world or yourself. The negativity often drains you, and you feel smug, angry, and gloomy.

An article published by the University of Minnesota warns that not only can this negativity affect you mentally, but it may lead to physical conditions. It can even deplete the chemicals in your brain that are responsible for happiness and well-being.

3. It Inhibits Your Spiritual Growth

If you’re striving to become more spiritual, being judgmental of others isn’t helpful. When you criticize and say unkind things about other people, it makes you smaller and diminishes your spiritual growth. As you realize your shortcomings, you will learn to be more compassionate, patient, forgiving, and accepting.

4. It’s Often a Reflection of Your Self-Judgment

You’ve probably heard and quoted from sacred texts to “judge not, because you’ll be judged.” People often judge others harshly because they secretly despise the same faults in themselves. Everybody has a narrator in their brain that’s perpetually reviewing the history and casting judgment.

If you are judging yourself unfairly, your self-talk may be harmful and cause you to feel less positive about yourself. In defense, you focus on other people’s faults to deflect your feelings of inadequacy or guilt.

5. Judging Others Can Isolate You

What qualities do you find attractive in a friend? Most people enjoy others who are genuine, honest, positive, and have a good sense of humor. If you are too busy judging other people by your impossible standards, you will soon lose those qualities that make people attracted to you.

Perhaps nothing can dampen the happy vibes in a room more than a grumpy party pooper. Have you gradually earned that moniker? Instead of chatting, laughing, and having fun with the gang, you’re too bothered with finding fault with everything and everybody around you.

Who would want to hang out with a grumpy old Grinch? Don’t be surprised if party invitations start to dwindle with an attitude like this.

6. You Can Lose Abundance in Life

If you plant marigold seeds in your garden, you expect marigolds to bloom, not daisies. According to the law of attraction, you attract whatever you send out into the Universe. You’ll get judgment and negativity in return when you send negative statements.

Do you have abundance in your life? It goes beyond having material things. When you want to be wealthy in things money can’t buy, you may begin by examining your attitude.

7. You Can Become a Bad Example to Your Children

As a parent, you’ve probably taught your children to treat others the same way they would like to be treated. Have you discussed the evils of prejudice and how destructive such attitudes are? It may be difficult for your children to follow your advice if you aren’t practicing what you preach.

According to an article published by the University of Pennsylvania, negative behaviors like prejudice and discrimination are learned. You may declare that you aren’t prejudiced, but that word extends beyond race and culture. When you make blanket judgments without knowing people or their character, it is pre-judging or prejudice.

If you don’t want your kids to hate people who are different, then be a good example. The next time you are tempted to start judging other people, remember that little ears are listening.

8. It May Raise Your Stress Levels

It’s impossible to have a stress-free life. You need some stress to learn, grow, and survive. However, too much pressure can put your survival mode into overdrive which can affect your overall health.

Stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol are there to boost your strength in case of a life-threatening issue. An article published by the National Institute of Mental Health states that chronic stress can lead to mental illness and other severe health conditions.

Judging other people drains you of energy and can make you stressed. Since you may feel like you hold a higher standard than most, you exhaust yourself to prove others as inferior. Your unfair judgment may eventually cost your health and mental well-being.

9. Judging Others May Hinder Achieving Your Goals

No doubt, you have goals for how you want your future to be. You’ve worked hard, received your education, and honed skills in your field. Perhaps you envision a leisurely retirement that includes travel and other exciting dreams.

Did you know that a chronic critical attitude can stand in the way of achieving your goals? Being optimistic and attracting good things is almost impossible if you are always down on everyone. Whether you realize it or not, you need other people in your life, and you will drive them away by being judgmental.

10. It Limits Your View of the World

You needn’t maintain a Pollyanna view of the world to be a positive person. If you are a realist, you understand that there’s good and evil in everything and everyone. The difference between optimists and pessimists is which side of the spectrum they favor.

There’s nothing positive about a judgmental attitude, and it can extend to your whole worldview. When you are constantly finding fault with others and picking them to pieces, you may start to assume that life is a big disappointment. You have your head so deep in the mud that you can’t see the sun’s glorious rays.

11. It Can Create More Bad Habits

Have you ever tried to eat just one potato chip and then close the bag? Only an extremely disciplined person could do that. Usually, having one chip leads to another, and soon the whole bag has disappeared.

If chronic fault-finding is one of your bad habits, it can easily lead to others’ unsavory tendencies. Judging other people can string along with negativity, backbiting, and holding grudges. These changes in your attitude can be so gradual that you may not realize them.

12. Judging Can Inhibit Empathy for Others

There is a big difference between sympathy and empathy. When you express sympathy for someone, you can feel sorry for their situation and then go about your business. However, empathy goes deeper, and you “feel” for the hurting person. You put yourself in their shoes and validate their emotions and feelings.

How can you be empathetic when you are constantly judging other people? Instead of identifying with their feelings, you judge them and make them feel worse. When you start to lose your ability to empathize, you lose touch with others and yourself.

13. It May Cause Depression and Anxiety

Chronic judgment may represent your dissatisfaction with your life and everyone around you. When people and events don’t measure up to your impossible standards, the negative attitudes may lead to depression and anxiety.

When you are experiencing anxious moments and bouts of depression, it’s easy to blame it on others. However, this turns into a vicious cycle that only creates harsher criticisms. One way to emerge from this whirlpool of misery is to learn to accept others as they are.

14. You Become Less Flexible

Trees can naturally bend with the wind, so they aren’t broken and destroyed. Likewise, your well-being depends on how flexible you are with change. A judgmental attitude refuses to compromise and will be rigidly stubborn when confronted with anything different.

If this is your attitude, you will gradually “snap” because your criticism won’t allow you to be flexible. You may get into a rut, and the boredom can cause you to feel hopeless and defeated. A person who can be flexible and accepting of others and changing situations will be stronger in the long run.

15. Others Start to Judge You

Remember the second part of the warning about not judging others? If you continue to judge, then you will reap the judgments of others. People will soon tire of your fault-finding and will label you as hard-hearted and unfavorable. You’ll be judged by the same harsh standards you demand of others.

Final Thought on Why You Should Stop Judging Other People

Do you want to revive the joy in your life and have a more positive outlook? Maybe it’s time to put down the gavel and start to accept others as they are. When you are empathetic and show mercy to those around you, it will return to you.

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