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10 Heartwarming Ways to Help Someone Beat Depression

April 25, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

Depression is a common mental health concern that affects millions of people. Life is tough, and if the daily grind isn’t enough to keep you down and blue, then you have the genetic factors that come into play. One of the most significant aspects of caring about someone with any mental health concern is making sure they have an extensive support system.

When going through depression, it matters who is around you, as some folks tend to make the situation worse. If you’re an animal lover, have you ever noticed how a dog turns its head from side to side and wags its tail when talking to them in a specific tone?

It’s not really what you’re saying that matters so much, but when you pay attention to them, it does good things for their mood. How much more do human beings need your time and attention to help them on their darkest days?

Ten Ways to Help People with Depression

If you’ve ever experienced the clutches of depression, you know that it can be debilitating. There are days when all you can do is get out of bed and get a shower. Sometimes, you won’t make it to the shower, so hygiene is always a factor in those severely depressed.

Now, you must understand that there are two different root causes of depression. According to a study conducted by Stanford Medical, about fifty percent of depression cases are genetics, which means the other fifty percent arise from adverse circumstances.

If your friend or loved one is suffering because of a divorce, job loss, family struggles, or other situations in life, you can help them change the habits that trigger the depression. Here are some ways to help people kick depression to the curb and take control of their life.

1. Acknowledge Their Depression

The worst thing you can say to someone down and out is that you know how they feel. While you may understand what’s going on based on your experiences, you cannot see how this person truly feels. Acknowledging them and what they’re going through is one of the nicest things you can do.

People want to feel like someone understands, and they don’t need anyone to minimize their issues or act like it’s not that bad. Emotional turmoil is a genuine issue, and sometimes a person who’s struggling wants someone to acknowledge that they’re not okay.

2. Get Them Out of The House

When someone is depressed, it’s only normal to want to isolate themselves. Hiding behind four walls is one of the worst things you can do when feeling blue, as it will only make matters worse. Get your friend or loved one out and about to boost their spirits.

If they feel like they’re not ready to go to a place with tons of people, take them to the park and let them bask in the sun’s golden rays. Getting out in Mother Nature is like good therapy for the soul, and there are so many places you can explore with them.

3. Get Them Moving

So many people are looking for a quick fix to their mental illness, and one of the best ways to get the help they need is to exercise. It can be just as effective as many touted treatments on the market. Offer to be an exercise buddy to someone who needs help with their depression.

According to Harvard Health Publishing, exercise is an all-natural treatment that can combat most mental illnesses. There are no side effects, it’s easy to do, and it’s like giving the body a dose of happy serum. When moving and grooving, your body releases feel-good hormones and improves nerve cell connections.

4. Listen To What They Have to Say

Growing up, you probably heard your parents tell you that children should be seen and not heard. Well, it’s not just children that need to observe being silent. There are times in life when it’s best to sit back and listen more than you speak, even as an adult.

When your friend is in an emotional upheaval, you want them to get everything bothering them off their chest. Don’t interrupt them and play psychiatrist trying to diagnose and fix their issues. Instead, let them speak and talk about how they feel. It’s good therapy for them, and it’s teaching you how to be a better listener.

5. Ask Them How You Can Help

When someone is going through a depression in their life, they may be struggling to keep up with things. Maybe they need help with their housework or taking their kids to practice. Asking a friend or loved one what you can do to help them is an excellent place to start.

If someone is already down and out when you add all the extra things they can’t seem to accomplish on top of it, it only makes things much worse. You want to make them feel better, so lightening their load might be an excellent place to start.

6. Encourage Someone With Depression to Get Help

Life is full of ups and downs, and every time you feel depressed, you don’t need help. However, each situation is different. Some people become so overwhelmed with their emotional state that they stop living.

Quickly analyze the situation and how bad things are with them. Encourage them to seek help and a professional opinion if it’s warranted. Not everyone who is blue needs intervention, but make sure they’re honest with you. Someone who is genuinely depressed can’t control it, and a brave face only works for so long.

7. Try Grounding Exercises

It’s often the case that when someone is emotional and blue, their world feels off-center. They may not know how or what to do, so it’s best to start with some simple grounding exercises. One of the best ways to help them reconnect is to take their shoes off and put their toes in the earth’s dirt.

The vibrational pull of the earth can be very healing to someone who’s lost their way. It helps to remind them that they’re still alive, there’s still a purpose, and they can readjust their outlook. There’s something so incredible about being outside.

Seeing the beauty around you, feeling the wind blow across your face, and noticing the gorgeous flowers can boost anyone’s mood. Listening to something as simple as the birds singing can do more than you can ever imagine for someone down and out.

8. Help Them Join an Online Depression Support Group

There’s power and strength in numbers, and it always helps to know that you’re not alone in your battles. There might be some local groups in your area, but many support groups online for depression. Just connecting with people walking the same path can be so healing.

Mental illness tends to make a person feel isolated and alone, but having a support group reminds them that so many more feel the same.

9. Help Them Fix the Situation That Triggers the Depression

For every problem, there’s a solution. If their situation is circumstantial, help them see a way to fix it. For instance, if your friend has a loveless marriage with a cheating spouse that’s got them down, then encourage them to seek couples counseling. They can and will find love again, but they need to know how to fix their union or release it.

10. Do a Random Act of Kindness

Sometimes, the best thing you can do for people is just some random act that shows you care. Maybe you should take them for dinner one night or buy them a gift certificate for a massage. Why not take them out to a movie and let them pick the show?

Taking time out of your busy schedule to help someone who’s feeling down is one of the best things. Why not send flowers, a box of candy, or show up and cook them dinner? If you get creative, you can think of some random act of kindness that will cheer them up.

Final Thoughts on Ways to Help Someone Beat Depression

There’s no definitive thing you can do to help your friend or loved one pull through their depression. You should never tell them it’s all in their heart or they need to get over it. Nor should you ever trivialize what they feel by telling them you’ve been through the same thing.

You must encourage this person to get out from behind the four walls and stop isolating themself. Then, it would help if you got them moving and back into the swing of things. Don’t become a crutch and develop a pattern of you playing therapist, but you should encourage them to seek therapy if necessary.

You will likely face a similar situation when life gets you down one day. Karma will bring all the good deeds you do to help others back to you in your time of need.

8 Reasons People Reject Help When They Need it the Most

April 25, 2022 by Chris Butler

Do you often reject help, even when you need it more than anything? As a strong person, it’s hard to feel like you can’t accomplish things, and it does something to your self-worth and respect when you need assistance. However, accepting help from a friend, loved one, or coworker is freeing.

You become stressed when you pile your plate so high that you can’t finish everything. You want to be the superstar who can accomplish monumental tasks without anyone else, but you must remember you’re only human. Everyone needs help occasionally, and it has nothing to do with weakness.

Introverts have a significant issue with asking for help. These folks are the do-it-yourself kind, and they might be quiet. But they have a strong sense of pride. If your default position is to turn inward when you can’t get it all done, then you could have introverted tendencies.

Eight Reasons People Reject Help

Whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or a combination of the two doesn’t matter. You must learn to stop rejecting help and allow others to lighten your load for your sanity. It won’t harm your self-respect or destroy your sense of self-worth. Here are some common reasons why so many people decline help.

1. People Reject Help Because They Fear Rejection

No one likes feeling rejected. Therefore, many folks fear that someone will refuse the request if they go out on a limb and ask someone to help them. Those little fears and voices inside your head will tell you that people won’t help you anyway, so what’s the point of asking? You should never fear that others will belittle you if you bring your issues to someone for help.

Judgment is a straightforward form of rejection, but not everyone will refuse you. A true friend or someone who loves you will put their head together and try to find a way to get it done, even if they can’t assist.

2. You Don’t Want to Feel Like a Burden

You’re not the only person who can’t get it all done. You feel that accepting help from someone will only put them behind. Sure, there’s a self-respect issue, too. But you don’t want to put anyone else out when they have such a busy schedule.

If you tend to be introverted or shy, being the center of attention is not your cup of tea. You don’t like to tell people about how you’re having problems and can’t get things done because you fear they will view you as weak or inferior. Well, get that negative self-talk right out of your mind. No one will view you as anything but an average person needing assistance.

3. You Mentally Chastise Yourself

Sometimes, you feel there’s no reason you can’t get the things you need to accomplish. You give yourself a mental talk about how you need to “get over it” and “just do it.” You need to stop telling yourself to toughen up and think you’re not living up to your potential just because you need help.

Stop telling yourself that you should be able to do this when it’s probably more than anyone could accomplish. Sometimes, you can’t just get over it and cope; you must be a man or woman enough to say, “I need help!”

4. You Don’t Want to Owe Anyone Anything

Remember the old saying that I’ll scratch yours if you scratch my back? Well, most people want something in return when they do something nice for you. They might put a hefty price tag on their services, which can insult your already injured esteem.

When someone does something nice for you, an outstanding debt lingers over your shoulders with some folks. Like any good bill collector, they will come and collect the debt when they need help. This is why choosing the right person is so important.

5. You Switch to Energy-Savings Mode

It can be overwhelming emotionally to realize you can’t do it all and need help. If you’re an introvert, you know you turn inward when you feel troubled, so try to conserve your energy. You know how much it takes out of you when you need to recharge your batteries.

When you let your guard down long enough to say you need help, you know that you will have to explain things, answer the tons of questions the other party will have, and feel pressure on all sides. You would rather forgo this whole process, as it will do nothing but deplete your energy surplus. Just asking someone to assist you can be so overwhelming that you don’t want to put yourself through it.

6. You Reject Assistance Because You See It as a Weakness

From birth, you heard how you must be tough to get anywhere. These destructive thought processes are even more detrimental for males whose parents believe crying shows emotional weakness. The result was a generation or two of people who didn’t know how to show emotions, including telling their children how much they loved them.

Yes, being resilient, self-reliant, and independent are all excellent qualities, but nowhere in the book of life does it say that you can’t ask for help. Your self-respect might take a hit the first time you ask someone, but it doesn’t make you appear weak. Thankfully, people are dropping this old thought process that being tough means you show no emotion and men cannot express their feelings.

So, accept help if you need it. Just be man or woman enough to understand you have limits.

7. You Fear Losing Control of a Situation

Many people reject help because they fear losing control of a situation. Most people are overly self-reliant, so when you ask someone to give you a hand, you must let your guard down and become vulnerable.

Vulnerability is challenging for some people, as it creates awkwardness and exposure. Ferentz suggests that you have a list of “safe” people you go to in these times. You might have a big inner circle, but you can’t trust just everyone with your life and problems.

Who you turn to is just as important as asking for help. Some people would never make you feel worse than you already do, and some folks would take pleasure in watching you fail or wallow in defeat. However, never reject help when someone offers out of the kindness of their heart.

8. You Don’t Want to Become Dependent on Others

Past experiences often cloud your judgment when it comes to your needs. Perhaps you feel that by asking for help, you will become dependent on that help. Now, consider you’re moving to a new home.

Moving is a big chore where you have no choice but to ask for help. You won’t become dependent on others by simply getting assistance in this situation. However, what if you can’t catch up on laundry and housework and ask someone to step in? This situation you might view as different.

You’re afraid that asking for help will become a crutch you use when you feel like you’re overwhelmed. You certainly don’t want people to resent you, especially if you’re asking for help when you think you should be able to do it alone. Accepting help doesn’t mean it will become a habit, but if it does, maybe it’s time to reevaluate some things.

In the instance of housework, you may need to hire someone to come in and help when your to-do list is overflowing. Some agencies make their mark on the world by helping people who don’t have time for certain things, like cleaning.

Don’t Reject Help–Learn How to Ask for Assistance the Right Way

M. Nora Klaver is an author who writes self-help books to encourage others. In her bestseller, Mayday!: Asking for Help in Times of Need, she says that people never feel comfortable asking for assistance because no one ever taught them how. There’s a proper way to go about such things, and if this were ingrained in people early on, it wouldn’t be such a big problem.

It shouldn’t attack your self-worth because you need help, nor should you use negative things like blackmail, guilt, or bullying to get assistance with something. The person you choose to ask is just as crucial as asking someone to help you. Some people are more eager to help, while others wouldn’t have time to squeeze in another thing. Perhaps you’ve felt embarrassed asking in the past, so you don’t want to go through that humiliation again.

Final Thoughts on Understanding the Reasons Why People Reject Help

Asking for help is never bad and doesn’t make you less than someone else if you need assistance. While having boundaries and limits in life is good, don’t hesitate to ask for help when you need a hand. You’re not being strong if you reject help. Indeed, you are just not being realistic.

7 Ways to Unlearn Bad Habits That Harm Mental Health

April 25, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

Have you ever analyzed your life and considered the bad habits you’ve picked up in life? Everyone has these little annoying things they do that can be bad for you or those around you. They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but there must be some way to unlearn all these toxic behaviors you learned along life’s journey.

Do you remember doing a whirlpool while swimming with your friends? You and those around you walk in a circle going in one direction until you get the water going fast. The fun was when you switched paths and tried to walk against the current.

You found quickly how powerful the force of water is, especially when it’s become accustomed to flowing one way. You can use this same analogy for your life. Once you’ve been familiar with doing something one way for many years, it’s hard to do a 180-degree turn and develop new habits.

However, if you learned anything from that whirlpool effect as a child, you know that you can eventually change the course of the water flows in the pool. You need to be strong enough to fight the resistance in the water.

Seven Ways to Unlearn Bad Habits

The good news is that with some hard work and determination, you can unlearn all those bad habits that hold you back. Here are some ways to accomplish this task and become a new and better you.

1. Admit There’s a Problem So You Can Begin to Unlearn the Negative Practices

The first step to making a change in your life is to admit that there’s a problem. Let’s assume that you smoked cigarettes for many years. It’s not easy to give up such a habit, primarily if you use it to cope with stress.

It will be hard to change unless you admit that smoking is wrong. Some people don’t see the harm in having one or two cigarettes a day as it helps with their sanity. Even if you know, it’s a bad habit. It’s still going to be an uphill battle. Gather some information about why this habit is dangerous to your mental and physical health. Focus on these aspects rather than how good it makes you feel in the moment.

Perhaps the amount of money it costs you can be a driving force. Think of what you could do with all that extra money. You want your body to be a temple of positivity, and putting toxins and harmful things into your being will not accomplish this goal.

2. Know Your Triggers

Maybe you want to control your anger because it’s a horrible habit that has got you in trouble. Once you admit you have a problem, the next step is to realize what triggers you. Perhaps things like watching a football game get your dander up and make you see red when your team is losing.

You would want to avoid football until you learn other coping methods in this instance. Maybe you get all bent out of shape every time your spouse goes shopping as they spend too much money. When you identify the very thing that sends you over the edge, you can work on managing the seething anger that effortlessly takes hold.

Ask yourself what you can do differently to keep your cool in those moments?

3. Unlearn Your Toxic Habits and Replace Them With Positive Ones

Most people love the cold turkey approach to quitting an addiction because they want to move past it quickly. However, quitting a habit they’ve developed so fast over many years is not feasible. The helpful thing to do is trade that toxic pattern for a positive one.

If you smoke because you’re stressed out and your anxiety reaches its peak, you still need to learn how to manage this anxiety to conquer the toxic habit. So, rather than going for a cigarette, losing your temper, or binge eating to comfort you, why not walk outside and do deep breathing exercises?

Positive habits can become just as much a part of you as negative ones. If walking doesn’t get your blood pumping and calm you down, then why not try calling a friend and venting?

You can find something to counter these toxic coping skills when you put some time and effort behind it. Remember, it’s not going to happen overnight, and you’re going to falter. But you can do this.

4. Know That You’re Going to Stumble

Do you remember when you first learned to drive a car? It felt overwhelming to get behind the wheel and have such power at your fingertips.

However, after becoming accustomed to driving, you suddenly learned that you could drive with one hand, talk on the phone, gauge your speed without even looking at the speedometer, and eat while traveling.

Like with most things, practice makes perfect. How often did you run red lights, pull out in front of cars, or have a fender bender? There are learning curves with anything new. Let’s put some statistics to this analogy.

Teen drivers cause five out of ten accidents on American highways. There are about six million car crashes each year, and teens are responsible for over 500,000 of them. Another shocking figure is that most teens have an accident within six months of getting their license, so their inexperience is a significant factor.

When you begin your journey to find positive habits and unlearn the bad, you’re going to crash a few times from inexperience. However, it will become second nature once you learn a few things. Just don’t beat yourself up when you stumble a few times, as you had to learn to crawl before you could walk.

5. Know When to Get Help

Everyone needs a little help occasionally, and when you try to unlearn a toxic habit you’ve developed, you might need reinforcement. You can turn to several avenues, depending on what you’re trying to overcome. Someone trying to overcome drugs and alcohol would turn to a rehabilitation center or a spiritual guide.

If you have anger issues that you can’t control, you might want to seek help from a therapist to learn practical coping skills. No matter what you want to unlearn, someone can always help.

According to the Mayo Clinic, cognitive behavioral therapy helps you eliminate negative thinking and teaches you a more effective way to handle things. CBT can help you gain a new perspective regarding stressful life situations.

6. Start Small When It’s Time to Unlearn the Negative Habits

Maybe you want to give up eating all sugar and processed foods. The last thing you want to do is go to a buffet where you will be enticed and probably succumb to the temptation. It would help if you started slowly as you want this to be a source of positivity in your life that sticks.

So, you know eating trash foods is bad for you, so why not start by cutting out candy bars and snack cakes first? Once you master these things, then move on to something else. Remember that the cold turkey approach doesn’t usually work well for most people, so starting slow and developing good habits can be effective.

7. Keep a Journal

There are many benefits to journaling, but one of the best is that it serves as a timeline to remind you of where you’ve been. Start charting your journey and the processes along the way. Write down the times you stumble and the times when you conquered things.

Keeping a realistic account of your journey from start to finish can allow you to see how far you’ve come. Before you know it, the positive habits will replace all the bad ones, and those toxic things will be but a distant memory.

Final Thoughts on How to Unlearn Bad Habits

One of the significant issues that hinder people from success is overthinking things. If you want to lose 50 lbs., you may become so overwhelmed by the big picture that you can’t fathom doing the small daily steps. It’s best to devise a plan and stick with it.

When you want to adopt more positivity into your life and eliminate the toxic things, you need to stop thinking so hard about it and do it! If you want to set dates, that’s fine, but don’t be so focused on reaching a goal by a specific time that you get mad when you mess up and quit.

Cut yourself some slack and realize that this habit didn’t start overnight, nor will it end as quickly. It’s not about how fast you accomplish your goal but about getting it done.

Who cares if it takes three years to lose that weight and your friend got it done in one? You can do anything you want to do when you have the proper support and tools to help.

Understanding Autism Is Easier When You Accept These 5 Realities

April 24, 2022 by Chris Butler

Understanding autism can help you make wise decisions once your child receives a diagnosis. The realities that will set in soon will change your world view like nothing you had ever imagined.

The CDC reports that approximately 1 in 44 kids have autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Autism is more common in boys than girls, and it’s typically identified between the ages of three to seventeen. Today, they diagnose more children with autism than in years past. This could be because pediatricians are diagnosing autism with different criteria, rather than there being more kids with ASD. Although there is a better understanding of ASD and how it affects people, there is still much to learn. Good chance you know someone who has autism. If you want to understand autism better, here are five realities of ASD to learn.

What is autism spectrum disorder?

ASD is a developmental condition that affects a person’s social interactions, communication, and motor skills. It’s a spectrum disorder which means every individual is affected differently. It’s often diagnosed during childhood. Symptoms differ for each person, and the range of disorder is from mild to severe.

Understanding autism is more accessible when you accept these five realities

If you notice your child has developmental differences, mention it to your pediatrician. Diagnosing autism early on is helpful for parents and kids.

Understanding Autism #1 – Communication struggles are widespread

One of the most common identifying characteristics of ASD is communication difficulties. People with autism misunderstand what other people feel or think. They find it hard to express themselves. Autistic children may say things that aren’t relevant to a conversation, such as counting instead of answering questions. They may repeat a word or repeat the question you asked them repeatedly. Sometimes people feel like the child is being rude. They’re not rude but stuck and can’t break the cycle. Other common communication issues someone with ASK struggles with include:

Using a high pitched, singing voice
Repeated saying phrases they heard on television
Obsessive conversations about something they like
Not able to have a two-way conversation about a topic
Trouble explaining what they need with words
Blunt comments

Understanding Autism #2 – Misunderstanding of non-verbal skills

Individuals with ASD have a hard time using non-verbal gestures. They don’t understand how to point at objects and often look the other way if someone else points to something. They get frustrated at gestures and don’t understand how it relates to communication. Kids with ASD may have vocal outbursts or inappropriate behaviors.

Understanding Autism #3 – Trouble learning some subjects

People with ASD might have trouble learning. They may be exceptional in some subjects but barely understand another matter. For instance, they may be gifted in art but can’t read or write well. Many autistic kids have incredibly high abilities in memorization, art, math, and music. They prefer doing the subjects they like and are hard to motivate to learn things that are hard for them.

Understanding Autism #4 – Social skills struggles are part of understanding autism

A common symptom of autism in children and adults is a struggle with average social skills. If you have ASD, you may have little to no interest in others and prefer to be alone. Other social skills common for individuals with ASD include:

Lack of eye contact
Not interested in your peers
Find it hard to make friends
Misunderstood as being rude
Feel anxious in social situations
Take things literally
Carefully plan things before doing them or ordering things

Understanding Autism #5 – Repetitive behaviors

If your child has ASD, you may notice their repetitive behavior in activities and speech.

Examples of this may include:

Lining up toys a certain way and getting very upset if you undo the order
Plays with certain toys in only one way
Focuses on only one part of a toy like the wheels
Repeating words or phrases over and over
Follow a routine the same way every time, i.e., combs hair, then they brush their teeth but refuse to do it in the opposite order
Flapping hands
Rocking body
Spinning
Unusual reactions to sounds, smells, or tastes.

What are common signs of ASD in adults?

There are many adults with ASD who function well in school and at work. Still, they may have specific characteristics of autism that you can understand and accept.

Come across as rude or unfeeling
Not able to describe how they feel
Have trouble seeing another person’s point of view
Don’t understand self space, often get too close to other people
Get preoccupied with details like patterns
Strict routines they don’t like broken
Facial expressions don’t match what they say-ie sad face when they’re talking about something fun they did.
Literal in how they interpret comments
Seem not to listen when others talk
Slow to respond to their name
Can’t hold a back-and-forth conversation

What causes autism spectrum disorder?

It’s not known what causes ASD, but some factors seem to be present for those who develop this disorder. These include

Biological reasons: Kids with a sibling with ASD are at a higher risk for it. Children born to older parents are at greater risk of having ASD. Pregnancies spaced closer than one year apart.
Genetic factors: Individuals with certain chromosomal or genetic conditions have a greater chance of ASD, such as fragile X syndrome or another genetic disorder called Rett syndrome. Specific genetic mutations are inherited in families, resulting in ASD running in families.
Environmental factors: Researchers are looking at pollutants or viral infections as potential causes of ASD.

How is ASD diagnosed in adults?

It can be more challenging to diagnose ASD in adults than in kids. This is because some symptoms of ASD overlap other disorders, such as ADHD or an anxiety disorder. If you notice signs of ASD, you can talk with your doctor about getting an ASD evaluation. Sometimes a neuropsychologist, psychologist, or psychiatrist gives this evaluation. Generally, they’ll ask you things such as:

Do you feel you have social interaction problems?
Communication problems?
Do you find yourself doing repetitive behaviors?
Do you have restricted interests?

The evaluation may include a conversation with other family members to get the history of your early development history. If you have ASD, a diagnosis may help you understand why you’ve had particular challenges at school, work, or your social life.

Understanding autism in adults

If you know someone with autism, you might wonder how to best talk with them. Here are some things to do when talking with someone with ASD.

Talk to them as an adult, don’t talk to them as if they’re a child. That isn’t very respectful for them.
Don’t use idioms or colloquialisms. They won’t understand the point you’re trying to make.
Listen to them
If you ask them a question, wait for them to respond.
Don’t talk about them to others as if they’re not there. This is demeaning and rude.
Model good behavior
Be supportive of their attempts
Show them respect as you do other adults
Encourage their independence rather than trying to do things for them.

What is the treatment for ASD?

Usually, treatment begins as soon as they diagnose a child with ASD. There is no one treatment for ASD, but a combination of treatments and services usually works best. Most of the time, treatments involve teaching social communication skills and introducing less restrictive, repetitive behavior(i.e., stress balls instead of hand flapping). Some medications may be needed if the individual struggles with aggression, irritability, or hyperactivity.

School intervention

Kids with ASD get help from their school programs designed to help individuals with ASD function better at school and home. These programs focus on keeping the kids in the classroom and teaching them appropriate communication and social skills for their age group.

Can some with ASD live independently?

ASD symptoms are very different for each person. This means that their treatment plans should be uniquely tailored to their needs. The treatment plans focus on a person’s interests, desires, and skillsets. People with ASD need guidance and support. They may not be able to live alone, but they might function well in a group home or setting where they have a certain level of independence. Eventually, with perseverance and patience, they may be able to perform at some levels in social settings.

Final thoughts on better understanding autism

If you know someone with autism, you understand the challenges they deal with every day. Learning about ASD and how to relate to those who have it can make it easier to accept the five realities of how they relate to others. Even though ASD affects every person differently, these five symptoms are most common in individuals. Diagnosing autism can be challenging, but an early diagnosis is helpful for the person and those around them. Autistic children benefit from consistent treatment over the years. If someone you know has ASD, treat them with respect as you would any other adult. Encourage their attempts at independence, remember to listen to them, and don’t use phrases they won’t understand. Individuals with ASD are a vital part of your community. It’s a great privilege to understand them better and support who they are as individuals.

Strong People Always Reveal Their Needs Without Explaining Themselves

April 24, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Every person in this world has specific needs. Of course, some basic needs stay the same for everyone. One of the most famous people who researched needs is psychologist Abraham Maslow. His theories are so well-known that everyone has heard about, or at least seen, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs at least once. In this hierarchy, which is triangle-shaped, Maslow places breathing, food, water, sex, sleep, homeostasis, and excretion at the very bottom.

And, if you think about it, he’s right. Every person needs to breathe, sleep, eat, and stay hydrated. Whether you’re rich, poor, young, or old, we all have these basic needs. On the following levels, humans express safety needs, such as employment security, morality, family, and property. The demands begin to look slightly different depending on who you ask from this level.

As you go up the ladder, the needs differ exponentially more. What Maslow theorized remains relevant in today’s society. Furthermore, it expertly underlines the fact that everyone has different needs. No two people in this world will have all the exact needs. This shows that your needs are something that you need to make others aware of if you want them to be respected.

No one will ever be able to guess what your needs are. Even though you need to share your needs, you never have to give anyone any additional explanations. If you desire creative liberty, that’s something that nobody can contest. And you are entitled to anything you want, as long as they don’t impose on anyone else’s rights.

What Are Needs?

In psychology, needs are features that arouse an organism to act towards attaining a goal. And the reason motivates the action behind it. For example, the need to stay safe motivates the desire to look for shelter.

The psychological concept of needs is something that Maslow researched extensively. As discussed previously, many psychologists consider him the father of this field. He proposed a model that summarises the different types of needs. This pyramid comprises five levels: psychological, safety, love/belonging, esteem, and self-actualization. In newer interpretations, additional levels are sometimes added.

This hierarchy suggests that people only have the needs of their level. Moreover, they can only pass to the next level if they fulfill all the requirements of the present level. Initially, he believed that fulfilling the first four levels would eventually lead to self-actualization. But later in life, he concluded that self-actualization is not an automatic outcome of fulfilling all other needs.

It’s important to remember that Maslow created this hierarchy in the 1940s. The first publication of his theory appeared in 1943. And the 1950s were the prime years for studying the psychological intricacies of needs. Currently, this field doesn’t get much attention at all. So, while Maslow paved the way, his theories are bound to be outdated.

His pyramid shows some variance from individual to individual regarding personal needs. But recently, research has shown that culture, environment, and many other externalities affect people’s needs. In economics, requirements have a slightly different definition. And that’s the definition that is considered objective and is used colloquially.

Is It Ethical to Convey Your Needs?

This definition was first established by ethics professor Len Doyal. He emphasizes that needs represent the costs of being human in society. People have needs that must be respected for them to function in society. And, if those requirements aren’t met, the person will perform poorly in culture. He theorized that needs revolve around physical health and personal autonomy. There are many other views surrounding the concept of needs.

But needs are just boxes that need to be ticked to keep a person going. Someone whose needs are fulfilled will be a functioning member of society. But if those needs aren’t met, your ability to participate in daily life is hurt. That’s why it’s important to share your needs; that’s the only way people will respect them.

3 Reasons Why You Must Reveal Your Needs Without Explanation or Apology

You don’t need to give anyone any explanations as to why those are your needs. Fundamentally, these requirements are deeply personal. They aren’t always rational, but that doesn’t matter. Your needs are more than justified if they don’t hurt anyone else or impose on their rights.

1. You Learn to Ask For What You Want

Contrary to popular belief, communicating your needs isn’t selfish. Everyone has needs, and that’s just a reality of life. Having needs isn’t a gimmick or a sign of privilege. Having needs is just part of the human experience. And keeping those needs hidden doesn’t make you selfless. It just puts you in a worse spot to advocate for yourself. When no one knows where you stand on specific topics or limits, they will walk over you without feeling guilty.

But when you reveal what you want, you communicate your intentions and limits. And, the more you learn to communicate your needs, the better suited you will be to ask for what you want. Revealing your needs is just a sign of self-love. When you share your needs, you stand up for yourself. You put yourself in a position where you have the basis for asking for more.

If your friends know you need time alone from time to time, they will be more likely to accept when you stay in instead of going to a party. And this example doesn’t have that big of an impact. But in other instances, the benefits of asking for what you deserve are much higher. Still, you don’t owe anyone any explanation as to why your standards are what they are.

For instance, you don’t need to explain why you need time alone. But just putting that need out there will signal that people have to respect it.

2. You Can Set Boundaries

A big part of setting boundaries is communicating your needs and desires. Whether the relationship is platonic, romantic, a working relationship, or something else, some ground rules are always welcomed. But, if you can’t share what you need from the other person, the boundaries you impose will seem unjustified. If you ask someone not to do something, but you don’t explain why you ask that, they won’t respect your wishes.

Just as discussed previously, you don’t owe any additional explanations. If a partner asks you why you need them to be more attentive towards you, that’s a red flag. They should respect that it’s what you need. And, as long as you don’t ask them to make outrageous sacrifices, your need is legitimate.

Boundaries are one of the most critical factors to be discussed in a relationship. Their role is to ensure that everyone involved is respected and their desires are fulfilled. They also make sure that there is always an open line of communication between people. And most importantly, they outline each person’s limits and what lines you should never cross.

Boundaries are vital for avoiding fights and ensuring everyone feels safe in the relationship. They are a basic form of self-care. Even though you are in a relationship, you should never sacrifice yourself for another person. Furthermore, boundaries ensure you always have a safety net and never give too much of yourself.

3. Communicating Your Needs Boosts Your Self-Esteem

Your self-respect suffers when someone you love does not meet your needs. Emotionally, disrespect feels like someone is walking all over you. Like you don’t even matter in their eyes. When you don’t communicate your needs, people will not immediately respect them. They can’t always respect something they don’t know exists.

But just by communicating clearly, you ensure you do your part. It’s not your fault if they don’t respect your boundaries

; it’s theirs.

Vocalizing what you want makes you feel strong and confident. It’s a step you can take to protect yourself and your interests. It’s also a way to show that you respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself. It lets people know that you mean business and exactly what you want. It’s a sign that you’re not someone people can walk all over without suffering consequences.

Communicating your needs boosts your self-esteem in every way possible. And, the more confident you become, the stronger your opinions will be. You won’t falter anymore when someone asks what you need. You will know immediately, as everything you desire will be evident in your head.

Final Thoughts on Reasons Why You Must Reveal Your Needs and Why You Need Not Explain

Needs are an intrinsic part of the human experience. As long as people will exist, so will our needs. They stem from the desire to protect yourself. No matter what definition you look at, that’s the common denominator. Psychologically, needs are defined as whatever arouses people to perform actions. In economics, needs are thought to be the things that, if fulfilled, make people function in society.

Because you want your desires respected, others must become aware of what they are because they can’t guess them. Requirements differ vastly from person to person. So, you can never expect someone to know what your requirements are. You have to tell them. That being said, you don’t owe anyone any additional explanations. As long as your requirements don’t impose on others’ rights, you can desire whatever.

When you communicate your needs, a few things happen. You put yourself in a better position to advocate for yourself. You have a basis for establishing rights. And, you start to set boundaries, which boosts your confidence and self-esteem. The benefits are clear. People start respecting you more, and you can reach for bigger dreams. And you make sure that if someone doesn’t respect your needs, that’s on them.

Set Boundaries if You See These 3 Signs (and How to Do It)

April 24, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

When we play a game, we always expect to have some rules or guidelines that we have to follow, so we rarely set boundaries. When interacting with a co-worker, we must respect a code of conduct. Most things we do in our daily lives have to follow the rules, social queues, or even laws. But, for some reason, we never think about how to set boundaries in our relationships. No matter the nature of the relationship, whether platonic or romantic, it seems weird to impose guidelines. But is it that outrageous?

Sure, people think their friendships and romantic connections are flawless. But people sometimes disagree over little things. They will sometimes not see eye to eye. And people do many things that others find rude, annoying, or triggering. For example, you might chew with your mouth open, annoying your friends–without realizing it.

But this habit might disgust your partner. This difference in views can easily lead to petty disagreements. But this is one of the minor issues you can encounter. You must account for differences in personality, moral code, financial desires, etc. And the best way to do that is to enforce some boundaries that all parties engaged in the relationship, be it platonic or romantic, must accept.

What Are Boundaries?

A boundary is a rule you enforce to facilitate your relationship with another person. It delimitates where your rights and needs start and where they end. And they outline where your requests and needs start interfering with someone else’s rights and needs. Establishing boundaries will protect you and your needs and ensure you respect the other person’s needs. The key to setting boundaries is having open communication and being honest.

You can set a boundary for virtually any need or issue. For example, some people don’t like hugging without permission. Making that clear is setting a physical limitation. Some people need some space after a fight. That’s an emotional boundary. And the list goes on. A boundary is about how you want others to respect you and how open you are to satisfying others’ requests.

Often, people think they are entitled to certain things that rub you the wrong way. Some people believe splitting all costs evenly when going out is reasonable. But others might want to pay the exact amount they have spent. A romantic partner might think they can touch you whenever they want. But you might not like kissing in public.

Or maybe you have some trauma related to physical touch, and specific actions could trigger your anxiety. Not understanding the needs of the person you interact with can lead to many disagreements. Crossing some boundaries might even create a divide between you that you can never undo. Perhaps you don’t need to enforce a limit in every relationship. And that’s somewhat true.

You probably don’t need a complex set of rules that guides your interactions with an acquaintance you barely see. But in all close relationships, you need boundaries, or they are at least helpful. Even your parents probably do things that annoy the hell out of you, like disrespecting your privacy. So even in that case, some guidelines can benefit everyone.

But there are some situations where setting boundaries is the only way to maintain a healthy relationship. And here are three signs that you need to start discussing some guidelines with the people in your life.

3 Signs That You Need to Set Boundaries in Life (and How to Do It)

Do you see these behaviors in your daily interactions with others?

1. You Can’t Communicate Well with Another Person

Poor communication is a common issue that makes people drift apart. And most of the time, communication issues arise because of misunderstandings and differences in opinions. Even if you have the best intentions, you might encounter specific issues. You can both be great listeners and try to deliver your point as clearly as possible.

But that’s not always enough. Some people “lose meaning in translation.” But when you start noticing considerable differences in your communication styles, boundaries become necessary. Having a few disagreements here and there won’t be a dealbreaker. But being triggered by specific topics is just one example of something that needs to be addressed. Otherwise, your relationship is at risk.

When enforcing communication boundaries, you need to sit down and discuss what is bothering you with the other person. Sit them down, and start explaining what the problem is and why. Explain why that specific communication issue is creating a divide between you.

After you explain your reasons for needing a boundary, agree on what that will be. Maybe the other person should refrain from discussing a particular topic with you. Or perhaps you should become more open-minded and engage more in issues you are apprehensive about. As long as you decide together what boundary to enforce, you will resolve the problem.

2. You Feel Emotionally Unsafe When You Fail to Set Boundaries

The people around you have the power to scar you emotionally, even if they don’t mean to. They don’t know what triggers you if you don’t tell them. They won’t know how to reassure you or even give you advice if they always have to walk on thin ice. Or, on the flip side, they might not even realize they are doing something that upsets you. Some people don’t enjoy being around drama and gossip.

Others require more alone time. Still, others want to contact you as often as possible. Take texting as an example. Some people love when friends bombard them with texts, and they get sad if you don’t send them any all day. But others get mentally exhausted if their phone is always buzzing. That differs from person to person, but you can talk about it.

Setting emotional boundaries is also focused on communication. But this time, it’s about explaining what the other person is doing that affects you emotionally. It’s not just about something that bothers you. Nor is it about morality or preference in discussion topics. It’s about the other person not offering you enough attention and how you’d want them to change.

Or about you being too suffocating and what you can do to give the other the space they desire. It’s about avoiding stress triggers or trauma because of something avoidable. These boundaries also allow you to be comfortable that you will be accepted if you are vulnerable. So, they will help you break down some barriers and strengthen your connection in the long run.

3. You Feel You Lack Personal Space

No matter the nature of the relationship, having time apart from the other person is needed and beneficial. But often, the time each person needs to spend alone isn’t discussed. Or maybe the other person feels you aren’t giving them as much personal space as they would need. Seeing a friend every day for the first couple of weeks of your friendship might seem fun. But later, you might see the need to set boundaries with that new pal.

But you will start getting on each other’s nerves after a while. It’s not good to feel you must hang out with someone else. And it’s not beneficial to suffocate someone else and make them feel that obligation. But, these issues are typical because people need different amounts of interaction and attention.

Some friends only need to talk once every few weeks and still have a powerful connection. Some couples must spend at least a few days a week apart. Other people need to talk daily to feel like they still have a connection. It would help if you discussed all these different needs. Decide how often you should speak or hang out.

Tell the other person how to tell if you are being suffocated and need to disconnect from the world for a while. In the category of personal space, you can also add things like which of their friends you like having around and which you’d rather not see. That way, if you hang out in a group setting, they know who to bring, and you know who to get. Also, the physical aspect is probably the most important.

It doesn’t matter if you are friends, family, or partners. Let each other know when it’s okay to be touched and when not. All these discussions and boundaries allow you to be your own person while maintaining that connection. They also ensure you have the time to care for yourself without worrying about the other. Enforcing these personal space boundaries will do you better than you’d think.

Final Thoughts on Signs That You Need to Set Boundaries (and How to Do It)

The idea of boundaries might sound peculiar to you. They might seem extra, over the top, or even unreasonable. But they aren’t just some whims that do nothing. Boundaries have been extensively studied, and they are one of the best ways of maintaining a solid connection. Plus, societal norms, laws, and other rules are just different forms of boundaries. So, if having rules and a clear framework works so well in society, why wouldn’t they work in a relationship?

Of course, the answer is that they work. Boundaries protect both your and the other person’s rights and needs. They are based on communication and openness. Furthermore, they are always decided by all parties involved, which makes them the best solution for any problem. It would be best if you consistently enforced boundaries. But it’s imperative to implement them when you feel uncomfortable in a relationship.

If your communication is poor, one of you is emotionally hurt, or you feel like you lack personal space, something’s wrong. There is a misunderstanding between you and the other person that you can resolve by talking about the issue and making sure it won’t happen again. So, in those cases, the first thing you need to do is enforce some guidelines.

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