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Navy Seals Use This One Simple Technique to Stay Calm Under Pressure

March 18, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Everyone deals with pressure sometimes, and it can be hard to stay calm. Some people deal with it daily and must learn to remain calm no matter what happens. Navy SEALs use a simple technique to help reduce pressure and anxiety in hard times, and you can do it, too.

Your stress levels can spike many times throughout the day, so keeping them under control is essential. From work issues to personal and relationship problems, you will have quite a bit to deal with. While tension is a normal part of life, dealing with too much pressure can be debilitating.

Finding an effective way to cope with tense situations can help with anxiety or panic. It’ll help you keep it together and deal with the situation as best you can. Staying calm under pressure will help you find a positive solution and overcome anything.

When you learn the technique that Navy SEALs use, you’ll find it helps you keep cool. The Navy SEALs are a special forces unit of elite soldiers who experience extreme situations daily. While their duties are demanding, their method for staying calm isn’t, and you can implement it in your life.

How Navy SEALs Stay Calm Under Pressure

Navy SEALs experience some of the most challenging situations imaginable, so they must learn how to manage pressure. They can’t wait until later to decompress when the experience requires their full attention immediately. SEALs must remain calm in even the most threatening situations.

Part of their training requires that they learn to stay calm under pressure. They train their brains to respond differently to overwhelming situations, exhibiting emotional control instead of fear. It helps them stay focused, alert, and functioning without panic and hesitation creeping in.

Navy SEALs use mental training to build mental strength and emotional fitness. It helps them regulate emotions and optimize their ability to make decisions. Mental training also helps them increase concentration and perform to the best of their abilities in any given situation.

These exercises teach SEALs to control their responses at the moment. It doesn’t take much to achieve the results yourself, as it’s all about your breath control.

The Technique Used by SEALs

The technique used by Navy SEALs is called box breathing. It’s a form of controlled deep breathing that helps regulate and calm your nervous system, reducing tension immediately. SEALs use it to manage their psychological reactions using physiological reactions.

Box breathing is easy, and you only have to do the following four steps:

Inhale slow and deep through your nose, counting to four in your mind and letting the airflow into your belly
Hold your breath to the count of four
Exhale evenly through your mouthing, counting to four in your mind again
Hold your breath for another four seconds

Repeat the four steps for five to ten minutes. It might help if you close your eyes during the process, but you don’t have to. After only a few breaths, you’ll start to notice the changes in your mind and body. Your body will relax, your mind will calm, and you’ll be better able to overcome the challenges.

The Benefits of This Technique That Navy SEALs Use

Whether you’re in a high-pressure job or want to improve your daily working life, this technique can help. You don’t have to be in a life-threatening situation to utilize the method and stay calm. It will help you stay focused during stressful times, allowing you to handle the experience effectively.

The most significant benefit you’ll experience is ensuring peak performance in all situations. You won’t panic and forget everything you learned, and you won’t shut down under pressure. It will help calm and regulate your nervous system, allowing you to relieve tension quickly.

It lowers stress levels immediately, helping you stay calm under pressure. It can also help you destress at the end of the night before you get into bed too. Without so much pressure as you lay in bed, you’re sure to sleep better.

Additionally, this technique helps regulate body temperature and reduces blood pressure. It has a positive effect on your mood, and it can help treat anxiety disorders and mild cases of depression.

You can practice anywhere and at any time, adding to the list of benefits. No matter what situation you encounter, you can rely on this technique to help you get your though. You’ll find that after you do it, you feel more levelheaded. It makes it easier to communicate effectively and find solutions to your problems.

Other Methods to Stay Calm Under Pressure (Because We Are Not All Navy SEALs)

While the Navy SEALs technique works wonders, there are other methods you can try, too. Learning to cope during stressful situations can help you stay calm under pressure every time.

Take a Deep Breath

When you breathe in slowly and deeply, it triggers the body to stop releasing stress hormones. You’ll start to relax quickly by focusing on your breaths to distract you from the tension. It’ll help you concentrate on the things happening around you now.

Take a few minutes to breathe in deeply through your nose and out through your mouth. Make sure you breathe into your belly and not just your chest, and hold the air in for a moment before exhaling.

Focus on the Positive Aspects

Fixing the negative parts of a situation will make you feel anxious. Try focusing on the positive aspects instead. Even the worst experience has something positive if you take the time to look for it.

Staying positive allows you to avoid pressure and remain calm as you devise a plan. If you can’t think of any other positive about the situation, remember that it is an opportunity to learn and grow. Focusing on the positive aspects will keep your mind logical instead of letting emotions take over.

Get Enough Sleep Each Night

It’s harder to stay calm under pressure when you haven’t had enough sleep. Prioritize sleep, especially when you know you might be in a stressful situation. Go to bed earlier and avoid using electronics before bedtime.

When your body and mind are well-rested, you can keep calm in any situation. You’ll think with a clearer mind, and your emotions won’t stand in the way quite as much. Plus, you’re more likely to make a better decision when you’ve had enough sleep.

Take a Walk Outside

Exercise is one of the best ways to stay calm under pressure. It triggers the release of feel-good hormones, allowing you to clear your head and focus on overcoming the obstacle. Plus, the fresh air will help you gain a new perspective as you see that the situation isn’t impossible to overcome.

Meditation

Meditation reduces tension and helps you manage your emotions better. It’ll help you stay calm in moments of pressure, allowing you to think clearly when needed.

You only need a few minutes of quiet time to concentrate on your breathing to meditate. When time is an issue, it doesn’t have to be lengthy. However, there are also more in-depth options for meditation if you have more time.

Practice Gratitude

Expressing gratitude for what you have right now will make you feel better. Spend time thinking about all the great people and things in your life, and you’ll keep a positive perspective.

Studies indicate that those who express gratitude daily have lower stress hormones. Take a few minutes daily to be thankful and clear your mind.

Learn to Be Okay with Discomfort

You can’t avoid every high-pressure event, so you must learn to be okay with discomfort. Become comfortable with feeling pressure so that you can stay calm as you work your way through it. Put yourself in situations that make you feel a little uncomfortable so you can start practicing.

Limit Caffeine

Caffeine is a stimulant that can trigger your body to produce excess stress hormones. If you know a high-pressure situation is imminent, limit your caffeine intake ahead of time. You might want to consider cutting caffeine out of your diet entirely if you’re prone to anxiety or often experience high-tension situations.

Ask For Some Help

Many people overwhelm themselves because they don’t want to ask for help. However, asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness because we all have different skill sets and knowledge. Ask someone to help you with tasks you know they’ll be good at, and you won’t feel so much pressure.

Final Thoughts on How Navy SEALs Use This One Simple Technique to Stay Calm Under Pressure

You can’t always control what happens in your life, but you can learn to cope with it. Using the Navy SEALs technique to stay calm under pressure can help you in your daily life. You’ll be more productive as you have a clearer mind, and you will be more resilient to tension.

Box breathing can make a huge difference in your life, so start practicing right away. Keep the other tips for staying calm under pressure in mind, too. You can combine multiple techniques for even more significant benefits.

Counselors Explain 6 Causes of Mental Strain (And How to Fix It)

March 18, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

You can’t live without some form of stress. Not only does it signal your automatic danger response, but it’s necessary for learning and growth. When your stress gets out of hand, you’ll notice the mental strain and a plethora of other issues.

Not only does stress cause you mental anguish, but it can lead to physical problems and spiritual affliction. Unless you find ways to minimize it, you can face many serious health issues. You may be overstressed if you notice one or more of these symptoms:

Anxiety or panic attacks
Depression
Debilitating exhaustion and fatigue
Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Headaches and unexplained body aches and pains
Stomachaches and digestive issues like diarrhea or constipation
Heart palpitations or unusual chest pains
Mood swings

Six Common Causes of Mental Strain

Stress is a hazard to your entire well-being. Chronic stress is often linked to cardiovascular disease, diabetes, stroke, cancer, and premature death. The good news is that you can learn skills to improve your emotional intelligence and recognize these stress causes.

1. Financial Woes Can Add to Mental Strain

Money may not buy happiness, but you can’t make it without it. Have you ever met anyone who says they have enough money? Even the wealthiest individuals search for ways to pile up more cash.

Paying bills and keeping enough cash in your bank account can mentally strain. According to an article published by the American Institute of Stress, the major stressor in this country is worrying about finances. You need enough money to pay for your home, food, clothes, car, and other necessities.

Money issues cause stress and contention for couples and families. Plus, it can lead to anxiety, emotional strain, and other mental problems. These are some common signs of financial stress:

Contention and arguing with the family about money issues
Reluctance to answer the phone or open mail, fearing it’s a bill collector
Constant guilt for spending money on unnecessary items
Chronic anxiety about your financial situation

There are mental issues that often go hand-in-hand with money problems. Compulsive shopping and gambling lead to more money loss and significant toxicity in the relationship. It may become a never-ending cycle that hurts the couple and everyone in their circle.

Rather than stress about money issues, you and your partner can work on a budget together. You’ll both see your income and what needs to be paid each month. If you need help to make a budget, many credit counseling agencies help free or for nominal fees.

2. Relationship Issues

Anybody who says that their relationship is perfect and stress-free isn’t being honest. Whether the relationship is personal or professional, they require a lot of time, patience, and hard work. It stands to reason those two different personalities will occasionally butt heads and cause mental strain.

Toxic people can be stressors in any type of relationship. A toxic coworker can make your work environment unbearable. It’s also a great source of stress when you’re in a romantic relationship with a negative personality.

It’s normal to argue about different opinions in a relationship. You and your partner are still individuals who have different viewpoints. Too much arguing can cause mental strain and can be compounded by these stressors:

Abuse or control issues in the relationship
Lack of communication between partners
Financial burdens
Issues with children
Unequal shares of responsibility
Lack of trust or infidelity
Substance abuse
Undiagnosed and untreated mental illness

Many misunderstandings and tension in a relationship can be avoided by effective communication. Take time to listen to one another and discuss your problems actively. Work together to find a solution or ask for professional help.

3. Your Job and Coworkers Can Create Mental Strain

It’s a blessing when you enjoy what you do for work. Even if you are self-employed, you still must deal with problems and difficult people. Your employer pays you to do a job, so you must learn to deal with the stress somehow.

Statistics published by the World Economic Forum show that 57 percent of workers in the US and Canada report workplace stress. The article also notes that anger, worry, and other mental strain are at an all-time high. Unfortunately, this vortex creates stress at home and in other areas of your life.

Some usual stressors on the job include deadlines, dealing with customers, and productivity. These are necessary for your company to make money and be successful, and you always have your finances in the back of your mind, too. However, you may also have unnecessary stress like difficult management, a workload that’s too heavy, contentious coworkers, and job insecurity.

These are some red flags that you’re overstressed at work:

Lower initiative and creativity
Lack of interest in productivity or your role in the company
Decreased work performance and performance write-ups
Taking more sick days or leaving work early
Isolation from supervisors and colleagues and disconnection with customers
Reduced patience and increased frustration with everyone
Bringing work problems home and taking your home problems to work

Unfortunately, many jobs are highly stressful by nature. However, keeping communication between you, your boss, and coworkers can be helpful. If your work stress affects your quality of life, it may be time to look for another job.

4. Parenting Children in Today’s Society

Raising children is the most challenging labor of love, and they’re one of the significant causes of stress in your life. Even if you have the best-behaving kids, growing up can be difficult for both the child and parent. Trying to balance caring for your children and maintaining a job is also stressful.

Parenting can hurt you and your children’s relationship if you have an emotional strain. You may seem more irritable and demanding, which can result in arguments. The teen years can be especially turbulent for parents, especially when you add some of these added stressors:

Single parenting, especially if another parent is absent
Low-income and money issues like foreclosures, garnishing, repossessions, or bankruptcy
Marital or relationship strife
Raising child or children with behavior or developmental issues

Nobody says it’s easy to raise children on even the best days. Spending more quality time together may minimize the tension at home. Plus, you and your partner may need to step back and see if you carry an equal share of the parenting responsibility.

5. Stress of Daily Living Might Increase Mental Strain

Let’s face it, life itself can create its own stress and mental strain. It starts in the morning, trying to get the kids fed and ready for school. Meanwhile, you’re looking for a missing homework assignment, breaking up a food fight, and trying to find your car keys to get to work on time.

After all the pressure and commotion at work, you run a few quick errands and rush home in time to prepare dinner. The kids are arguing, and your partner is complaining that you made spaghetti for dinner once again. Do any parts of these domestic scenarios resonate with you?

You’re also struggling with a lot of busy work. Multitasking isn’t always an easy fix for everything. You meet yourself coming and going and are too overwhelmed to enjoy your blessings.

Consider de-stressing each evening by relaxing your mind with meditation. You may also benefit from mindful exercises like yoga or tai chi. Dedicate a space in your home to relax, meditate, journal, or do something creative to help battle the angst you feel.

6. Your Personality and Personal Resources

There’s not much you can do to change your personality. You are a unique individual with a singular destiny. However, your personality and available sources can play a part in your stress levels.

For example, let’s say that you are an extrovert. You have a more robust network of friends to talk to, which can reduce your stress. If you are an introvert, your social network may be lacking, and you may keep your feelings bottled up inside.

If you’re a Type A personality, you may have strong ambitions and accomplish a lot. Of course, it may come at the price of causing emotional strain for yourself and everyone around you. Type B personalities are more laid back and more apt to have better stress-coping mechanisms.

Once you’ve identified your personality type, you can decide the coping skills that are best for you. Type A personalities often need to learn how to relax and relinquish constant control. Introverts may not have a large inner circle but having a few close friends can help when you need someone to listen to you.

If you nip chronic stress in the bud, it’s easier to minimize it. However, you may be so overwhelmed with the mental strain that you don’t know where to turn. If you’re depressed and feel like you’ve lost hope, reach out to a trusted friend, loved one, or a professional.

Final Thoughts on Mental Strain and How to Reduce It

You’ll never get through this life without some stress and challenges. When you develop proper coping skills and hone your emotional intelligence, you can reduce mental strain. It empowers you to make necessary changes and accept things out of your control.

15 Signs Someone Is Hiding Depression

March 18, 2022 by Chris Butler

You may feel like you know what’s going on in the lives of your close friends and family members. Even if you’re in constant conversations with these individuals, sometimes they may not be as forthcoming about everything happening inside their hearts and minds. It’s easy for people to bottle up things and try to push through themselves. But maybe you notice something that makes you wonder if someone is hiding depression. Depression is a severe mental health issue that nobody should ever ignore. Your friends or family members may struggle alone, but wish someone would reach out to them. Here are fifteen signs that could show someone is hiding depression. Knowing how to spot depression can equip you to help your friend or family member.

An urgent note about suicidal ideation: If someone you know has suicidal thoughts, get outside help right away. Make a call to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24/7 by dialing 988.

15 Signs Someone Is Hiding Depression

1 – They have noticeable weight gain or loss

When someone is struggling with depression, they may turn to food for comfort. Being overweight can worsen the severity of depression. Other individuals struggling with depression may lose their appetite, unable to keep anything down. Dramatic weight gain or loss is often a sign someone is depressed. If you notice your friend or family member shows surprising eating habits that make them lose or gain weight, ask them about it.

2 – They have sleep problems

Lack of sleep affects an individual’s function at home or work. It’s often a sign of mental health problems such as depression or an anxiety disorder. Individuals who are struggling with depression have these signs of trouble:

Falling asleep
Staying asleep
Having nightmares or frightening dreams
Sleeping during the day to make up for not sleeping at night

3 – They have increased alcohol use

Depressed people may use drugs or alcohol to cope with their sadness and moodiness. They may feel hopeless and need a drink to bolster them during the day. Approximately one in five individuals who struggle with depression also has alcohol or drug problems.

4 – They’re always tired

Excessive fatigue is one of the most common depression symptoms. Fatigue affects emotional, mental, and physical health. It impairs an individual’s performance at school, work, and family relationships. Other depressed individuals may feel burned out by work or family responsibility. They may have insomnia, sleeping all day.

5 – They’re constantly sick

Although depression is a mental health problem, it has physical side effects. If you know someone who constantly seems sick, they may struggle with hidden depression. People with depression are prone to sickness and specific ailments because their bodies respond to stress. This leads to high cortisol levels, which results in a weakened immune system. Some of the physical signs of hidden depression include the following:

Racing heart rate
Sweating
Shortness of breath
Dizziness
Chronic pain
Stomach problems
Headaches

People with depression are more likely to experience these other illnesses, as well:

Autoimmune conditions
Heart disease
Cancer
Arthritis
Type 2 disease

6 – They fake or force their smiles

When someone is hiding depression, they learn how to act as if they’re happy. They look normal and cheerful around friends and family, hiding their inner struggles. These individuals may feel they’re letting people down if they admit depression. They force happiness to hide their depression and appear like they’re doing okay.

7 – They lose their concentration during conversations

If you’re talking with a friend or family member and they seem to get lost in the conversation, it could signify they lack concentration or have memory problems. Both symptoms could mean they’re hiding depression. These side effects of depression interfere with their ability to work or have personal interactions. Of course, if the person is hiding their depression, it will affect their relationships and work to where they won’t hide their depression for long.

8 – They’re irritable

Mood changes are expected for someone suffering from depression. Although they often feel sad or down, they may express anger instead of despair. An individual hiding depression may get easily angry at those around them. It may surprise you at their outbursts at work or home. Some people may suppress their anger or act like they weren’t bothered by what happened. It’s all an effort not to reveal their struggles with depression.

9 – They have a negative mindset

Depressed people have a negative outlook on life. They express negative thoughts and assume the worse about their life all the time. Some individuals may try to be optimistic about their future but quickly slip back into a negative mindset. Some examples of negative attitudes that someone who is depressed could include:

All or nothing thoughts: “I’m not a good friend. I’ll never have friends.”
Personalizing: “I can’t do anything right. “
Overall generalizing: “I have always done a terrible job at making friends.”
Jumping to conclusions: “She looks sad. I probably did something wrong.”
Dismissing positivity: “I know you’re trying to be nice to me because you feel sorry for me.”

Someone hiding their depression feels like their outlook on life is more accurate than people who aren’t depressed. It’s a weird self-righteousness that assumes they better understand how the world works.

10 – Loss of interest

If you wonder if a friend or family member is hiding depression, you may notice they’ve lost interest in the things they used to love to do. Perhaps they had hobbies. They may stop doing them. If they had a hobby or were part of a group, they may have stopped attending the meetings and stopped doing their pursuit. Along with this, they’ll act distant from you and others, especially the people with whom they did the hobby. The depressed person may make excuses about their lack of interest, or they’ll say they don’t want to do the pursuit anymore.

11 – They make silent cries for help

Sometimes, when individuals hide depression, they will make silent cries for help. These cries may go unnoticed by most people, but if you’re wise to the person, you’ll hear their cry and reach out to them. They may try to put you off or hide their negative thoughts. Trust your gut if you’re close to this person and feel like something is off. Some examples of silent cries for help a depressed person makes include the following behaviors:

Does poorly at work or school
Loses interest in hobbies, sports, or other activities they’ve always enjoyed
Sudden changes in lifestyle such as sleeping or eating
Avoidance of friends and family members.
Isolated, wants to be alone all the time.
Daydreams all the time so that they can’t do anything else
It feels like life is overwhelming.

12 – They talk a lot about the meaning of life

Individuals struggling with depression are aware of their mortality. They become consumed with the meaning of life. They may research different religions, with their mindset flipping from one idea to another. You may think they’re becoming interested in something, but it’s more of an obsession for them as they try to understand their life’s purpose. They’ll talk a lot about death and dying so that you’ll become fearful they’re thinking about suicide. Never ignore their morbid thoughts; pay attention to what they’re saying. If they express suicidal thoughts, don’t delay. Get them help right away.

13 – They seek acceptance and love from you

A person hiding depression doesn’t want to be dishonest with the people who love them, but they feel like they’ll be a burden if they admit they’re depressed. Or they may try to protect their heart from rejection. They desperately need acceptance and love from those around them but act the opposite. They may even push people away to project they’re doing fine.

14 – They overthink

Depressed people process everything going on around them. They analyze every conversation, every situation, and experience they’ve had. They lean towards rumination. Rumination is excessive or intrusive thoughts about negative experiences and feelings. It’s pervasive and leads to constantly thinking about real or imagined painful experiences. A depressed person’s brain is high alert, thinking self-defeating negative thoughts. You may have a hard time keeping up with their rumination. If you try to point out the positive, they may interpret it as you don’t believe them or are putting them down.

15 – They change the subject to divert attention

Another tactic of someone hiding depression is to divert attention away from themselves. They make up believable excuses about why they didn’t show up for an activity or function. Or they’ll change the subject when you ask them a direct question. It’s their way of moving the attention off of themselves to hide their pain and suffering. If you’re close to the person, you’ll catch on, but getting them to admit the truth will be challenging.

Final Thoughts on Identifying When Someone Is Hiding Depression from the World

If you think someone is hiding depression, reaching out to them is essential. Your consistent love and support are vital to them, even if they try to push you away. Their overthinking and negative thoughts will lead them to believe lies that you and others don’t care about them. They may ruminate on all the negative experiences they’ve had in life. If they talk about suicide, get them professional help right away.

15 Differences Between a Crush and a Real Love Connection

March 17, 2022 by Deborah Tayloe

Is it a crush? Or have you made a love connection? It may be hard to identify between the two, especially if it’s something new and exciting. However, you must realize the significant differences between having a crush and being in love.

A crush is a temporary infatuation based on a solid attraction, usually physical. On the other hand, love is something deeper that’s affectionate and comes with prolonged-lasting feelings. A crush shakes you up and has your heart and mind in an uproar, while true love is grounded and gives you a sense of inner calm.

Is It a Love Connection or a Crush?

Are you experiencing a love connection, or is your affection based on nothing more than a crush? Here are some ways to tell the difference between love and infatuation; some might surprise you.

1. Love is Based on Something Deeper Than Physical Attraction

Crushes mostly happen because of an intense physical connection with someone. However, you have a much deeper bond when you fall in love. An emotional connection rarely fuels crushes, but love goes beyond physical attributes and is based on a connection.

When you have a love connection, you’re into more than just their body; you’re also interested in their mind and overall wellbeing.

2. Crushes Only Last for a Short Time

The timeline is something that you can notate. According to research, most crushes don’t last beyond four months, so they’re very short-lived. However, love takes a while to develop and sometimes a lifetime to get over.

Crushes bring about feelings like a racing pulse, melting when you look into their eyes or being addicted to that person. You might feel giddy like a schoolgirl when you’re fascinated with someone, but this doesn’t usually happen when you’re in love.

3. Love Will Invigorate You

A crush will pull you in 100 different directions, making it easy to become physically and mentally exhausted. You will experience intense emotions and be whipped around all over the place. However, a genuine love connection won’t do that to you.

Love will bring you energy and fulfillment. Besides that, it gives you a little push to make it one more day. It will fuel your tank, giving you the power to keep trying.

4. Crushes Happen Quickly and End Quickly

It’s impossible to meet someone and fall in love with them. While some folks say they’ve experienced love at first sight, it’s almost impossible to love someone without truly knowing them. Infatuated people will obsess over their unattainable desires while in love, take things slower, and develop a more incredible bond each day.

Think of love like a flower in life’s garden that takes time to grow. You can’t plant a seed one day and have a flower the next, as it needs time to mature and develop; this is how love works.

5. Crushes are Unpredictable

Falling in love makes you become a better version of yourself, but if you’re experiencing a crush, you may become a more intense version. It’s not uncommon for people to act abnormally when they’re crushing hard on someone. Love is different, though, as it gives you peace and reassurance that the future is bright and everything is as intended.

6. Crushes are Based on False Perceptions

When you have a crush on someone, you don’t have a reasonable basis for your feelings. This is because the emotions are surface and very shallow.

You may try to convince yourself that you’re in love, but people who crush hard only look for physical manifestations. Love, however, is profound, more genuine, and may or may not have physical expressions.

7. Love is Soothing and Doesn’t Cause Emotional Upheaval

Having a crush on someone is like riding a roller coaster with many loops and intense speed. The key is that these infatuations are often short-lived and tend to go away as quickly as they came. However, when you’re feeling these intense feelings, you’re probably also experiencing a whirlwind of emotions.

Love, on the other hand, calms you and brings you comfort. These feelings are on the opposite ends of the spectrum, and you can always tell when it is love because it brings you a sense of serenity.

8. Crushes Are Selfish

Did you know that many crushes are not reciprocated? Nothing hurts worse than wanting someone so badly only to find out they don’t feel the same. Dr. Carl E. Pickhardt from Psychology Today states that crushes are more about fantasy than reality.

They’re the perfect mix of idealization and infatuation. There’s no bright future with fixation, but love is the one that brings hope and is shared.

9. Crushes are Possessive and Devour You

Crushes can be selfish, as it tends to possess and devour every part of you. You’ll often feel stuck in a loop on a merry-go-round, but you’re so overwhelmed that you don’t know how to get off. Love is nothing like this; it doesn’t possess you but brings you peacefulness.

10. Crushes are Merely Temporary Fixes

Throughout your life, you will likely have many crushes. However, you will only have a couple of people you can say you truly love. When you fall head over heels into a crush, you temporarily fix your need for romance and intrigue.

Love is the opposite because people who fall in love often care about each other for life. This is why many people can remain friends long after the breakup, as the friendship never dies.

11. Love Causes Growth

Falling in love brings you growth opportunities, but crushes don’t give you the same sense of maturity and in-depth knowledge. Sure, there’s affection with both situations, but the person in love will always have someone who makes them a better human being. The couple in love has a bright future, whereas the crush will fizzle like a candle in the wind.

12. Crushes Cause Emotional Upset

Have you noticed that you tend to make a big deal over the smallest things when you have a crush? Even the slightest upset can rattle your cage. However, love is more patient and looks at the big picture.

When you’re with the right person, and the feelings are where they should be, you realize that life is full of small stuff sent to test you. However, you embrace these moments and move on.

13. Crushes Happen All in the Head

Since most crushes aren’t reciprocated, everything happens in the head or on an emotional level. However, true love is genuine and can be seen, felt, and experienced in real time. A crush will isolate you, but love will want to be shared and embraced.

14. Crushes Play Mind Games

Why do people who have a crush often have more questions than answers? For instance, remember the old game where you take a flower and pull the petals while asking, “He loves me, he loves me not?” A person with a crush might feel confused and have many questions, as the connection with the other party is unstable, and they have doubts.

Thankfully, love isn’t like this at all. See, all the questions you ask yourself repeatedly to determine if this person likes you don’t happen when you’re in love. When there’s true love between two people, they know, and there’s no need for useless inquiries.

15. Love Grows from An Emotional Bond

The basis for love and a crush is as diverse as an ocean from a lake. Crushes grow from desires, usually physically based. However, love is cultivated from a deep emotional bond between two people.

Mad infatuation wants to make you jump in bed and fill your physical desires, but love is more about the emotional and intellectual bond. Sure, there’s a physical connection, but it doesn’t take top precedence.

Final Thoughts on Love Connection or a Crush?

Did you learn anything that helps you decipher whether you’re in love or have a crush? Maybe you looked through this list and replayed events of your younger days in your mind. You recall how you felt and acted when infatuated with someone in high school or college.

Crushes only take a small chunk of your life, but they’re almost always unhealthy. Sadly, they will never live up to your expectations either. Love isn’t perfect, but it knows that you don’t have to be either.

When you have a genuine love connection, you know you will keep trying even though it’s messy, weird, and far from perfect. The crush will fade away just as quickly as it happened, but true love isn’t so easy to escape, and therein lies the most significant difference between the two.

15 Signs Someone Is Developing Anxiety

March 17, 2022 by Chris Butler

Do you know someone who seems to be developing anxiety?

Everyone experiences anxiety occasionally due to work issues, financial woes, or family problems. It’s part of life. Usually, after the problems go away, the anxiety disappears. But for some people, the fear never lifts. National Institute of Health data estimates that approximately 31% of adults in the United States have had an anxiety disorder. That’s a massive number of people who suffer from anxiety. If someone you know develops anxiety, they may need help.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is feeling fearful, agitated, or uneasy. Of course, chronic stress affects every part of a person’s life. However, it grows harmful if these feelings become so intense that someone can’t function normally.

Anxiety is debilitating mentally and emotionally, but it also causes physical symptoms, including the following:

Fatigue
Lack of focus or concentration
Nervousness, irritability
Insomnia
Heart problems
Breathing problems such as asthma
Auto-immune diseases
Back pain or neck pain
Migraines

What are types of anxiety?

People suffer from different anxiety disorders. Some of the most common anxiety disorders are these:

Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD)
Panic disorders
Phobias
Post-traumatic stress disorder
Obsessive-Compulsive disorder

15 Signs Someone Is Developing Anxiety

Do you recognize any of these red flags in you or someone you care about?

1. Sick a lot

If someone you know seems to get sick all the time, it could signify they’re developing anxiety. Anxiety causes stress on your mind and your body. This causes high cortisol levels to be released into their body, making them more susceptible to a weakened immune system. Physical signs of anxiety include the following symptoms:

Dizziness
Rapid heart rate
Sweating
Insomnia
Shortness of breath

2. Someone developing anxiety becomes restless

Restlessness is a common sign someone is developing anxiety. An anxious person can’t sit still. It’s easy to assume they’re high-energy people, but if you watch them closely, you’ll notice their restlessness is related to stress. When someone struggling with anxiety gets into stressful situations, they respond with a fight-or-flight response. They should reserve this for only life and death situations, but an anxious person always feels this. Everything produces high stress for them. Restless anxiety may include nervous habits, including:

Fidgeting
Pacing
Hair curling around their fingers
Wiggling their foot
Tapping with their foot
Biting their fingernails

3. Worry about everything

It’s normal to worry occasionally, but if someone you know has excessive worries, it could be a sign they’re developing anxiety. They have negative thoughts and worry about things that generally shouldn’t cause them to worry, including these signs:

Worrying about their everyday life activities-work, school, grocery shopping, etc.
Wondering if they worry too much
Feeling out of control during the day
Frequent bathroom visits
Edginess, easy upset by other people or situations
Can’t make decisions fearing they’ll make the wrong decision

4. Sleep problems go along with developing anxiety

Insomnia is a common sign someone may develop anxiety. Lack of sleep affects a person’s ability to function at home, work, or school. They may not sleep the night before an event or have exaggerated fears about the event. Anxiety causes an individual to lie awake for hours, to toss and turn, overthinking about all the bad things that could happen to them.

5. Compulsive behaviors

Compulsive behaviors make people feel they must do certain activities to ease their stress or negativity. They feel compelled to do these things to suppress their thoughts. These behaviors disrupt their work, school, or home life. Common compulsive behaviors include:

Hand washing over and over
Checking outside over and over
Rearranging things constantly
Washing and cleaning
Need for symmetry

6. Someone developing anxiety faces social isolation and withdrawal

If you suspect someone is developing anxiety, you may notice they withdraw from social activities. Anxiety shatters their ability to be in crowds or talk with people. They feel nervous and anxious in most social settings, even with family members. Social anxiety may cause people to stay home or only speak with certain people they trust. This withdrawal can frustrate their family and friends who don’t understand their level of anxiety but may assume they’re being stubborn.

7. Feelings of impending doom

Severe anxiety makes a person feel doom all the time. This sense of impending doom may arise from a past sickness or a car accident that left them with some post-traumatic stress (PTSD). Anxiety causes them to assume something like this or worse will happen to them. Individuals who haven’t experienced PTSD may feel a sense of doom about their life and view everyday situations as dangerous or life-threatening. They may be overly concerned about staying healthy, eating, and exercising all the time. This outcome doesn’t seem harmful, but their motivation for staying healthy comes from fears they play out in their minds.

8. Trembling & Shaking

Anxiety causes stress. Stress affects a person physically, causing tremors or shaking. This is part of the fight-or-flight response they’re feeling. An anxious person’s shaking may come and go in perceived scary or dangerous situations. Because it’s a noticeable sign, it may cause the person to withdraw socially. Anxious people may divert attention away from their trembling by pretending to be cold or moving around a lot to distract people from seeing their trembling hands or legs.

9. Tension goes hand-in-hand with developing anxiety

Another sign that someone is developing anxiety is always on edge. They struggle with negativity. Anxiety causes them to be short-tempered. They lose their patience at work and home. This tension makes them uptight, unable to laugh at themselves. Unfortunately, their tense demeanor hurts their relationships with family and friends. You may sense something is wrong with a friend or family member, but they won’t like it if you ask them how they’re doing. You’re likely to get pushback from them. Please don’t give up because even though they give off signals they don’t want you in their life, they desperately need a friend to stand with them.

10. Can’t concentrate

Anxiety causes an individual to struggle with completing work assignments or school projects. They get distracted by their anxious thoughts and the stress of having a deadline. As a result, they start overthinking the inadequacies that paralyze them. Thus, this cycle of overthinking, negativity, and stress can cripple them. Lacking the ability to concentrate affects every aspect of a person’s life, career-wise, socially, and home life.

11. Easily startled

Someone who struggles with anxiety is jumpy and nervous all the time. Examples of how they react include the following:

Jump at small sounds
Frightened easily
Jumpy, jittery all the time
Trigger-happy, tense all the time
Supersensitive about sounds
Alarmed and fearful of everyday things that shouldn’t be alarming
Always on guard
Paranoia

If an individual is a parent, they project their fears onto their kids. They worry about all the bad things that could happen to their children. In fact, a person may develop anxiety problems as a child if they have a parent who struggles with anxiety issues.

12. Agoraphobia

Agoraphobia is an intense fear of crowds or places that could make escape difficult. Someone with agoraphobia avoids situations like flying, being in large groups, or being alone outside their home. Their fears are irrational and cripple their ability to socialize with others.

13. Someone developing anxiety engages in rumination

Another sign someone may develop anxiety is a tendency towards rumination. This is an over-analyzing of a person’s negative feelings or thoughts. The anxious person dwells on actual or perceived troubles to the point of obsession. They can’t let go of these situations and often talk incessantly about them. These thoughts dictate how they view life. An anxious person feels their view of life is more accurate than others. It’s as if they have some personal insights about life.

14. Increased Heart Rate & Palpitations

It’s no secret that anxiety affects both the mind and the body. Many of the physical problems caused by this mental illness involve the heart. That’s because anxiety produces stress, which affects the heart. Anxiety makes a person prone to heart problems, including:

High blood pressure
Increased heart rate or palpitations
High cortisol levels
Irregular heartbeat

15. Fatigue

Feelings of constant tiredness and fatigue are common when struggling with anxiety. This may be because of their lack of sleep, but it’s often a reaction to their stress. The concern is common in everyday life. Usually, after their life settles down, they will feel less anxious. But if someone has chronic stress, they never feel better but live with overwhelming fears and anxious thoughts. This is emotionally and physically exhausting.

Final Thoughts on Knowing When Someone Might Be Developing Anxiety

Watch for these signs if you suspect someone you know is developing anxiety. The person may not realize what’s happening even though they struggle with negativity, overthinking, and stress. They may assume this is normal for everyone. In fact, these aren’t necessarily signs of chronic anxiety. The level of concern determines how all-consuming it is when their stress is removed. If they withdraw socially, can’t sleep, develop compulsive behaviors, or have agoraphobia, it may be time for you to speak up. Someone developing anxiety needs a friend to come alongside them to get help outside themselves.

Neuroscientist Warns That Trauma Bonding Is a Covert Form of Abuse

March 17, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Talking about trauma in a relationship isn’t an easy conversation, but it is necessary. It involves more than physical abuse, and any form is dangerous. Walking away from an abusive relationship requires identifying that there’s an issue–like trauma bonding.

Traumatic bonding occurs when a survivor of abuse develops an attachment or has sympathy for their abuser. It creates a toxic and dangerous situation that continually worsens, making it harder to break free.

Sometimes the abuse is so subtle and intensifies so gradually that it’s hard to recognize. However, there will likely be signs if you know what to look for, and it’s best to identify them immediately. Seeking help and recovering is hard, so the sooner you can help yourself or another person, the better it’ll turn out.

Neuroscientists warn that trauma bonding is a covert abuse because the survivor and the abuser share an unhealthy attachment. The survivor might not realize what is happening at first, so they must know what to look for. Identifying the severity of the situation is essential to getting out of and recovering from it.

What is Trauma Bonding?

When a person forms a strong bond with or idealizes their abuser, it is their way of coping with the trauma. They’ll develop an intense emotional connection, similar to Stockholm syndrome. After spending time with an abuser, they often bond with them and defend their actions.

Traumatic bonding occurs when an abuser is the primary source of support for their survivor. Survivors turn to their abuser for comfort, even when they cause pain. Often, the survivor believes this is how relationships are supposed to work.

Trauma bonding occurs when there is an imbalance of power and a mix of good times and abuse. It happens more often in domestic violence situations than in other occurrences. However, hostage situations and other traumatic events can trigger it, too.

This type of bonding often occurs in a domestic violence situation because of manipulation and mental abuse. The abuser will be manipulative as the emotional abuse gradually worsens. By the time it’s clear, the survivor will have already developed a deep connection with their abuser.

The abuser is usually a narcissist who inflicts emotional, mental, and sometimes physical abuse. They lead their partner to believe that they deserve the behavior change. Survivor will often do whatever they can to make their partner love them again.

If the survivor realizes they are being abused, they might leave their partner for a little while. Then, the abuser often convinces them to reconcile by displaying loving behaviors again. The abuser will quickly return to their abusive ways, but the bond will have deepened.

Signs of a Toxic or Emotionally Abusive Relationship

While physical abuse is easier to identify, emotional abuse is harder to recognize. They’ll use manipulation and charm to win someone over and wait to change until a bond has formed. Then, they resort to abuse but mix in warmth and kindness to keep the relationship going.

You will likely recognize some of the following signs:

Lack of mutual support between partners
Ongoing or recurring conflict or abuse
One partner continually undermines the other
Name-calling or putting a person down
Destroying possessions
Throwing things
Humiliation
Inability to rely on one another
One partner controlling the other person’s relationships and behaviors
Manipulation through apologies and vulnerability
Blaming the other for the relationship issues and abuse

The Cycle of Abuse, Including Trauma Bonding

Along with understanding traumatic bonding, it helps to understand the cycle of abuse, too. Abuse comes in many forms, including domestic violence, emotional or mental abuse, child abuse, and much more.

While each form of abuse is different, they typically all follow the same cycle of abuse. This cycle includes four points, and each one escalates.

1. Miscommunication and Rising Tension

In this stage, the survivor notices changing behavior from their abuser. The changes are often subtle at first, but they’ll worsen until it reaches the next step. It can cause fear, intimidation, and confusion. The survivor will wonder what they did to make the abuser treat them differently.

2. Instances of Abuse

After a behavior change, the abuser will express physical, emotional, verbal, or mental abuse. It typically involves displays of anger or intimidation from the abuser, leading to more fights and worsening behavior. The abuser often uses threatening language, blames the survivor, and displays aggressive behaviors.

3. Making Up

An abuser will often apologize and try to make up for their behavior. They’ll seem remorseful and likely promise that it won’t happen again. Additionally, they will downplay the situation and say it wasn’t as bad as the survivor remembers it. They will also likely make excuses for what they did, and in some cases, they’ll deny it entirely.

The abuser will treat the survivor lovingly and be kind to them for a while. This stage of abuse includes quite a bit of manipulating and gaslighting. It also requires the survivor to rely on the good moments to get them through.

4. Things Calm Down, But Then Get Bad Again

After reconciliation, the abuse might stop for a little bit. There isn’t any significant incidence, and the survivor believes it won’t happen again. Unfortunately, that’s when stage one of the cycle of abuse begins again.

How Trauma Bonding Is a Covert Form of Abuse

Trauma bonding exacerbates the cycle, making it a dangerous and covert form of abuse. This cycle is what keeps people in toxic and abusive relationships.

When a traumatic bond forms, the survivor experiences harsh treatment, feel a threat of danger, and experience isolation from others. It makes it so the survivor feels they can’t escape because their abuser is all they have.

The abuse is covert because the attachment happens gradually and changes how a person’s brain works. Over time, the survivor’s hormones become imbalanced, making it biologically harder to break free of abuse. It affects bonding, dependence, withdrawal, stress, dopamine, and wanting hormones.

Brains release chemicals as an environmental response, which constantly happens in abusive relationships. It causes the brain to remain ready for sudden violence, and the survivor always looks for ways to avoid it. They always feel like the violent behavior is their fault, contributing to the covert abuse.

The toxic stress causes the brain to release high amounts of cortisol. When cortisol levels increase, it builds predictive patterns that override proper reasoning. It also leads to cognitive dissonance, causing the survivor to rationalize or justify the abuser’s behavior.

The cognitive dissonance leaves the survivor feeling embarrassed or ashamed because they subconsciously know it’s wrong. They blame themselves because it’s the only way to justify that what happened was okay. With their neurochemistry off-balance, it’ll be hard for them to manage emotions and think logically.

How to Break Free of Trauma Bonding and Other Covert Abuse

If you are in an abusive relationship, know that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Freedom is possible, and you deserve to break free of the cycle you’re in right now. The first step to breaking a trauma bond is acknowledging it is a form of abuse.

When the abuse is covert and subtle, it’s harder to realize that it is destructive. There are signs to look for to help you recognize when you’re in an abusive relationship. Look for the following signs of an abuser in your lofe:

Anxiety when things are calm because you know something terrible is coming
Constantly blaming yourself for the abusive behavior
Feeling confused about the way someone is treating you
Justifying behavior that you know isn’t right
Feeling controlled

Acknowledging the abuse is only one step to breaking free, however. Once you’ve admitted the problem, you must take steps to leave the relationship for good. Take things one day at a time, and remember that the urge to go back will decrease over time.

You might also benefit from using positive affirmations to end the cycle of negative thinking. Use the phrases to stop blaming yourself for the abuse and trust yourself again. Then, you’ll be less likely to find yourself back in the cycle of abuse.

The most crucial step in breaking free from abuse is finding support. Turn to your trusted loved ones for support because it’ll help break the isolation you experienced from your abuser. It might be hard to open up at first, but you’ll quickly find that you are not alone.

Final Thoughts on Why Neuroscientists Warn That Trauma Bonding Is a Covert Form of Abuse

Trauma bonding is complex because it involves a deep connection with the abuser. It forms gradually, allowing the bond to develop before the abuser shows their true personality. The abuse slowly changes how the survivor’s brain works, making it a discreet form of abuse.

While it’s challenging to break free of a traumatic bond, it is possible. Turn to your support network for guidance and comfort, and avoid reaching out to the abuser. You deserve to be treated well; any form of abuse is never okay.

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