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Child Psychology Explains Why a Time-Out Might Not Work for All Kids

January 27, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Giving kids a time-out is a common technique practiced by parents everywhere. Pediatricians recommend these breaks, and schools utilize them, too. However, you may have noticed that a break like this doesn’t improve your child’s behavior.

While time-outs are supposed to teach kids to do better, child psychologists now say it doesn’t work that way. This method of punishment usually results in a power struggle where you’ll both end up frustrated and angry. Even worse, you won’t reach the desired outcome and will still face the same struggles with your child’s behavior.

Many parents prefer giving their child a break over other methods such as spanking, but there are still different ways to handle it. A break might stop poor behavior at the moment, but it doesn’t promote emotional stability, resiliency, or empathy. Children must learn how to develop these qualities, and they require the help of a trusted adult.

Now that child psychology indicates breaks don’t work, you must understand why. When you know why this parenting technique doesn’t work, you’ll want to find something that does. Utilizing positivity when punishing your child can make all the difference, and you’ll quickly notice improved behavior.

Why the Time-Out Technique Might Not Work for All Kids

Using these breaks as a discipline technique started in the 1950s when the world was much different. Psychologists didn’t know as much in the 1950s, and updated research helps them understand things differently. For starters, people connect, behave, communicate, and respond differently.

The differences between when time-outs originated, and modern-day parenting are drastic enough to require changes in how you handle discipline. Now that psychologists know more about behavior, it’s essential to listen to what they have to say. We must do better and find positive ways to help our children as we learn more.

The Discipline Should Be Directly Related to the Behavior

If your child often gets angry or resists going to time-out, it is likely because their consequence isn’t related to the behavior. Kids want things to feel fair and consistent, so their punishments should follow those guidelines whenever possible.

For instance, if they refuse to brush their teeth or floss, you could take away sweets. Likewise, if they rollerskate in the house, you might consider not letting them use their skates for a while.

When you choose punishments related to the bad behavior, it helps the child correlate the issue and accept the consequence. Best of all, it is more likely to prevent bad behavior in the future.

The Child Doesn’t Learn Anything Positive from a Time-Out

When a child has to sit in time-out, it typically means taking a break where they sit quietly. The parent or caregiver continues what they were doing before, and the child takes their five-minute break alone. As they sit there, the child doesn’t learn anything about the situation or what they should do differently next time.

When kids are in trouble, the caregiver should view the situation as a learning opportunity. The child would benefit from learning other ways to respond in the future. If you take the time to explain why their choice wasn’t the best option and offer different strategies for next time, the child can learn.

However, if you force the child to sit quietly alone, they don’t think of any of those things. Instead, they’ll think about how unfair it is that they have to take a break. Kids need guidance in these areas to learn how to handle themselves positively.

Time-Out Doesn’t Support Emotional Connections

Kids need an emotional connection with their parents, especially when having a hard time. Research shows that kids learn best when they have a secure relationship with their caregivers. However, sitting alone doesn’t support the emotional connection and forces the child to suffer alone.

Kids are still learning to handle their emotions, and when they lose control, they need guidance. The child misses out on an essential psychological need by sitting alone to take a break after getting in trouble.

In the past, parents didn’t know that this could be detrimental. New information shows what it can do to kids, so it’s best to use the tools you have to help your child instead. Plus, when you form an emotional connection, it helps the child calm down and listen to your words.

What You Can Do Instead of Time-Out

If you use the time-out parenting method, don’t feel bad about it. When you don’t know that something doesn’t work, there’s no incentive to do anything differently. However, if you want to change your parenting style, there are many other options.

When you learn positive parenting techniques that work, it’s life-changing for you and your child. It eliminates frustration and helps them learn to do better in the future. When your child learns from their mistakes and develops an emotional connection, their behavior will drastically improve.

Kids under three require different consequences, so you must address those options first. If your child is under three, you can try the following techniques to correct their behavior:

take away the object they are using for the negative behavior
remove the child from the environment
shift the child’s focus to something else
offer a new activity

If your child is over the age of three, there are even more options that you can try. Your goal should be to prepare your child for difficult situations, helping them make the best choices next time. Try the following methods in place of time-outs:

Give Positive Attention Instead of Time-Out

Kids need attention, and they’ll try to get it no matter what it takes. If your child feels they aren’t receiving positive attention, they’ll start acting out to get negative attention instead. Kids know which buttons to push to get your attention, and they’ll do it repeatedly if that’s the only way to get you to focus on them.

Giving positive attention doesn’t take much time, but it does require consistency. Take a few minutes each day to spend one-on-one with your child. Make sure there are no distractions, including cell phones, and do something your child wants to do.

You won’t regret the uninterrupted time spent with your child, and you’ll notice a considerable change in their behavior. Each time you spend one-on-one time with your child, it helps them stay positive and be cooperative. Life is busy enough, but taking this time out of your day will be well worth it.

Teach Your Child About Better Behaviors

When you discipline your child, you must use it as a teaching opportunity. Discipline won’t help if you don’t take the time to explain why their behavior wasn’t good. Plus, they won’t know what to do differently next time if no one takes the time to tell them.

Discipline should be more about teaching and instructing the child. While consequences are necessary, you must teach your child how to do better next time. If you don’t take advantage of the learning opportunity, your child will struggle to make better choices later.

Role Play a Better Outcome in Place of a Time-Out

One way to teach your child to do better in the future is to role-play. Pretend that you’re the child and let the kid pretend to be the adult helping you learn to make better choices.

As the child guides you through making better choices, the things you’ve told them over the years will come out. They’ll start showing you in the same way you helped them in the past. This method helps solidify a positive mindset to help with making better choices later on.

Be Encouraging When They Did Something Good

Don’t ignore the behavior when you see your child do something good. You might think that since it’s what they are supposed to do anyway that there’s no reason to praise them. However, offering praise when your child doesn’t something good will encourage positive behavior in the future, too.

When your child cleans up a mess, offer positivity and tell them you see that they worked hard. Tell them that what they did was a big help and that you appreciate it. Likewise, praise them when they share with others or do something kind.

Set and Enforce Limits

Kids often make it seem like they’d rather have no rules or structure, but that isn’t true. They thrive when they know their boundaries and make better choices with structure. You don’t need too many rules, but you should have a few essential family expectations.

Be clear and upfront about the rules, and ensure your kids know the consequences. If they know the rules ahead of time, there will be no surprises when they get punished. As you set the rules and consequences, remember to make sure the punishment is related to the bad behavior.

Final Thoughts on Child Psychology Explains Why the Time-Out Technique Might Not Work for All Kids

Many parents give their kids a time-out when misbehaving, but it isn’t as effective as other methods. Child psychologists have discovered that this parenting method isn’t as beneficial as was once believed. Now that we know better, we must do better and teach our kids better.

Remember why a time-out might not work the next time your child misbehaves. Try some of the other strategies and see if they work better. You’ll likely end up surprised by the drastic improvement in your child’s behavior.

20 Kind Ways to Make Someone Feel Better on a Bad Day

January 27, 2022 by Kristen Butler

Everyone has down days when they think the world is cruel and unkind. Maybe they’ve had a death in the family, lost a job, or didn’t get up on the right side of the bed. Being a friend means that you’re there in all seasons of someone’s life, both good and bad. You have the power to help them feel better by doing one of these acts of kindness.

Twenty Kind Ways to Make Someone Feel Better

What can you do to help someone who is down and out? If you’re like most people, you get to a point where you don’t know what to do or say to make things better. Here is a list of twenty things that can help you cheer others up.

1. Send Flowers

Flowers prove the beauty in this world, even when a person may not feel like it. Sending a lovely bouquet of their favorite bloom can mean the world. Contrary to stereotypes, many men love flowers, though you may need to change things up slightly to suit their preferences.

2. Buy Someone Food to Feel Better

The best way to help a person is by feeding them. Comfort foods are certainly warranted when you’re feeling blue. You can bring them something hardy, especially if they don’t feel like cooking.

No one will turn down any chocolate dessert, mac-and-cheese, or mashed potatoes. Comfort foods are the best.

3. Allow Them to Vent

Sometimes people don’t need your money, gifts, or acts of kindness. However, they want someone to listen to them. Life is rough, and when those bad days come, you need someone who truly cares and will hear you.

Don’t offer them unsolicited advice; listen to their struggles and be there for them.

4. Give Them a Hug to Help Them Feel Better

Have you ever felt down and out, and a hug made your day better? If you want your friend to feel better, then wrap your arms around them. Did you know that a hug can be a powerful healing tool?

According to an article on the National Library of Medicine, giving a hug to someone not only bonds you but it releases a powerful surge of oxytocin into your bloodstream. Oxytocin is one of the vital hormones that helps your mood. Someone who needs to cheer up could use a hug.

5. Offer To Do Something Nice

Doing something nice for someone for no other reason than love and kindness can help them be more cheerful. If they’re having a hard time, doing something like picking up their kid from school, grocery shopping, or cleaning their house is beneficial.

6. Compliment Them, Sincere Admiration Will Help Them Feel Better

When you don’t feel good, you often feel down and out. However, people need to know that there’s so much good in them regardless of their state in life. Tell them all the reasons why you like them and let them know how special they are to those around them.

7. Encourage Them

You can send encouragement in many ways. Some people like getting a card, and getting it in the mail is even more special. Others prefer fresh-baked cookies left on their doorstep or some other kind gesture.

You can read them a story of someone who has overcome a similar situation. Get creative and find something that will inspire and help. Everyone needs inspiration at specific points in their life’s journey.

8. Send an Inspirational Podcast

Ted Talks are amazing and so motivational. You will be captivated when you listen to the stories of these people and what they’ve survived.

Some of the struggles of these speakers make your troubles seem so trivial. Find a great story that fits their season of life and send it to your friend.

9. Make Them a Soundtrack of Soothing Sounds to Make Them Feel Better

Put together some tunes of their favorite songs and send them an old-fashioned CD mix. If you have a CD burner, you can do this on your computer or send them through an online file. You can give them the gift of encouragement through music, which is known to calm even the most savage beast. If you don’t have a way to burn a CD, pay for an affordable music subscription service.

10. They Need to Feel Better Faster? Help Them Create a “Gratitude Sandwich”

You may not understand the term to make a gratitude sandwich, but learning how to process the bad things is essential. For instance, you name a good thing that’s happened, but the bad thing in the middle, and finish it off with another good thing. It’s a way to alter your reality so that people focus more on the positive than the negative.

11. Take Them to Their Favorite Place

Everyone has a spot or a place that brings them joy. Maybe it’s a bench beside a lake in your town, or it could be a restaurant. Take them to their spot to help cheer them up when they feel down.

12. Take Them to Happy Hour

There’s nothing wrong with happy hour. Sometimes alcohol is a great way to make someone feel better. Just make sure your friend can use it in moderation. Additionally, you don’t have to drink to go to the bar, as they have fantastic prices on food too.

13. Quote Positive Affirmations Over Them

If your friend is going through a rough time, you can quote positive affirmations over them. These little positive phrases can pick them up and give them the strength to keep going. Say things like:

“You will get through this dark time.”
“You’re strong, and nothing can keep you down.”
“You will rise above your storm and be a victor.”

14. Show Empathy, Not Sympathy

It’s easy to confuse empathy and sympathy, but when you empathize with someone, you feel the pain as your own. No one needs someone to sympathize with and tell them all the right things; they want someone to understand and share their feelings more deeply.

15. Help Them Get Some Rest

Rest is a great way to shut off your mind and not think, and many people use sleep as a coping mechanism. Help your friend in any way so that your friend can get rest. This may mean watching their kids, taking care of errands, and doing things to ensure they have space and time just to shut down their minds.

16. Bring Out the Boardgames

Nothing brings on a smile quicker than an old-fashioned board game. Sometimes it’s nice to put down the cell phones and bring out the old-school games. They can bring out your competitive side and give your friend something else to focus on rather than their struggles.

17. Go for a Drive with Some Great Tunes That Will Help Feel Better

Music is a powerful motivator. If you add some great tunes to a car with the windows down, you’ve got a fantastic therapy session.

Why is it that driving, listening to songs, and the fresh air hitting you in the face seems to resolve so many issues? A good old road trip with a change of scenery may be just what the doctor ordered.

18. Take a Walk Around the Block

Walking is good exercise, and according to the National Library of Medicine, walking is another way to boost your oxytocin levels. A quick 20-minute walk around the block can work wonders for everyone involved.

19. Hit the Mall, Even if It’s Just Window Shopping

Why not have a little retail therapy? Something is terrific about going to the mall that seems to make you feel better. It’s hard to be upset when you’re filling your bags with goodies you can’t live without.

If you don’t have the extra funds, window shopping is excellent too. Some people like to go to the mall just to people watch, which can be pretty adventurous. It’s really all about just enjoying your company.

20. Try Acupuncture to Feel Better

If your friend is up for doing things outside the box, you can take them to an acupuncture session. When you’re upset, your hormones get all out of whack, making the situation worse. Thankfully, you can help take care of your moods naturally without using harmful substances.

According to Acupuncture Massage College, this ancient art is known to help with mood swings, headaches, sleeping difficulties, and concentration issues. Who knows, maybe the answer to making your friend feel better is doing something radical.

Final Thoughts on Making Someone Feel Better on a Bad Day

Did you know that the average person has around sixty bad days per year? This is from a study published in Bustle. However, your bad days can be significantly influenced by circumstances. When you see your friends or loved one’s suffering, you often feel very helpless and don’t know what to do.

The best thing you can do is be there for them and empathize with their situations. However, sometimes getting them out and about will do wonders for their mood and lift their spirits. Those around you can feel better by your kindness and a smile of encouragement.

Remember that one day it will be your turn for encouragement, and the kindness you show to others will come back to you.

20 Daily Reminders to Keep a Positive Mindset and SHINE ON

January 26, 2022 by Kristen Butler

A positive mindset makes life more enjoyable, and it helps you stay focused on the essential things in life. It’s not always easy to eliminate negative thinking, but daily reminders can help you stay positive and shine each day. Mantras can help you eliminate negative thinking and encourage you down the right path in your life.

Using daily reminders can help you form beneficial habits and improve your mindset. As you implement them into your daily routine, the positive statements also help increase your feelings of self-worth. With improved self-worth, you’ll feel better overall and have more motivation to do good things.

Your thoughts affect your overall success, happiness, self-love, and well-being, so daily reminders are essential. By ensuring your thoughts are positive, you can shine each day as you work toward your life goals. If you don’t find a way to keep a positive mindset, you could fall into negative thought patterns that hold you back.

Twenty Daily Reminders to Keep a Positive Mindset and SHINE ON

You can ensure a positive mindset and shine by remembering that your words matter. These affirming statements can help you combat negativity and live a positive life every day.

1. I am focused on living up to my full potential.

This affirmation can help you push away thoughts about things that don’t truly matter in your life. When you can focus on what will help you reach your goals, you’ll have an easier time staying positive. Plus, with your mind on your goals, you’ll live up to your full potential and shine as you accomplish your goals.

2. I can work well and stay motivated under pressure.

It’s easy to get discouraged when under pressure, but this affirmation can prevent negativity. Working effectively and staying motivated during high-pressure situations can make all the difference in how things turn out. Use this positive phrase each morning, and repeat it when you encounter obstacles throughout the day.

3. I am surrounded by people who want to see me do well in life.

Reminding yourself that you have supportive, positive people in your life can help you keep a positive mindset. It’ll also help eliminate potentially toxic people who don’t support you or want to see you do well.

By remembering all the great people in your life, you’ll feel better going forward. Plus, it’ll help you forget about anyone that hurt or upset you along the way. This daily reminder is one way to practice self-love, too.

4. I feel my confidence rising.

By telling yourself that you feel your confidence rising, you’re sure to feel better. Sometimes all it takes is convincing yourself of something to make it happen.

5. I am free of old, negative beliefs that obstruct my path to success.

By saying that you’re free of negative beliefs, it helps you let go of anything that holds you back. If you know something is obstructing your path, then you’ll want to free yourself of it right away. This phrase will help you form new beliefs that allow you to stay positive.

6. I am letting go of negative thoughts and feelings.

Letting go of negative feelings about yourself or your life can make all the difference in your well-being. Negativity will hold you back and cause you to miss out on opportunities and experiences. This daily reminder can help you let go of any negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones.

7. I am powerful enough to create success and prosperity.

You have what it takes to obtain the success and prosperity you desire. When you know what you want in life, keep it in mind and don’t let anything stop you. You have all the power you need to make your dreams come true, so repeat this affirmation each day to help you refocus.

8. I have all the knowledge I need to make good decisions for myself.

When you are confident in your knowledge, you’ll have an easier time making good decisions for yourself. You know what you need and want in life, so trust yourself to make it happen.

9. I am open-minded and ready to try new things.

If you can keep an open mind, you’ll always feel a little more positive. Being open-minded can help you shine because it allows you to explore new paths to success.

10. I am willing to face my fears each day.

Sometimes your fears will hold you back in life, but that can’t happen if you don’t let it. If you use this affirmation each morning, you’ll start your day on a positive note, ready to face things that scare you. When you live life this way, you’ll keep a positive mindset and shine, even when the situation isn’t ideal.

11. I am passionate about my goals.

When you’re passionate, the things you work on will be meaningful and fulfilling. You’re more likely to stay positive and become successful when you have passion for your goals. Utilize this affirmation in your routine so that you can have daily reminders of why you’re working toward your dreams.

12. I am using what I have to make today a good day.

Even if you feel like you’re missing something, you can use what you already have to make the day good. When you get started using what you already have, you’ll gain more tools throughout the day. Don’t allow negativity to prevent you from getting started because you’ll never find the things that make life easier.

13. I am creating a wonderful and prosperous life for myself.

This affirmation will set you up with the mindset necessary to reach your goals. You’ll be more likely to become successful and live a fulfilling life when you tell yourself you’re creating it.

14. I feel calm, confident, and powerful.

No matter what you’re doing, if you feel calm, confident, and assertive, you’ll have a positive mindset. This affirmation is helpful if you are taking on new challenges.

15. I accept all that is good in the world.

Accepting the good in the world is the best way to keep a positive mindset and shine each day. It’ll also help you stay open-minded about new opportunities and experiences. When you’re always looking for the good in all situations, you’ll live a more fulfilling life, too.

16. I already have everything I need to overcome any obstacles.

When you believe that you have everything it takes to overcome setbacks, you’ll feel better about each one. It’ll help you stay positive when things don’t go as planned, and it’ll help you come up with a new way to overcome the obstacles. Even if you feel like you’d have an easier time with more tools, you can do anything with what you already have.

17. I am enough, and I acknowledge my self-worth.

Remembering that you’re enough is a great way to recognize your self-worth. Then, you can keep a positive mindset no matter what happens because you know that you’re worthy. With daily reminders that you’re enough, nothing will stand in your way of reaching your goals.

18. I celebrate each goal I accomplish.

If you celebrate your accomplished goals, you’ll experience more gratitude and joy in life. No matter how small the goals seem, they are worth celebrating because it’s another step in the right direction. By celebrating each goal, you’ll have the motivation to tackle the next one.

19. I am looking for new and exciting paths to pursue in life.

When you’re always discovering interesting and exciting paths, you will have an easier time staying positive. It will give your life more meaning, and you’ll feel more fulfilled along the way. Being open to new things is a sure way to help you stay positive as you’ll experience things you wouldn’t have otherwise.

20. I stay focused on my goals and take small steps each day to achieve them.

Losing focus can cause a negative mindset as you fixate on things that aren’t essential in your life. Use this affirmation to stay focused on what truly matters, and you can stay positive. It’ll help you take the necessary steps to achieve your goals and overcome obstacles.

If you ever notice other things taking over your thoughts, repeat this affirmation. It’ll help you refocus and maintain a positive mindset moving forward. Use the positive phrase each morning, and keep it in mind throughout the day to help you stay focused.

Final Thoughts on Daily Reminders to Keep a Positive Mindset and SHINE ON

When you use positive affirmations, it requires regular practice to make long-term changes. If you use them every day, it’ll change how you think and feel. Then, you can maintain a positive mindset and shine no matter what’s going on around you.

As you make affirming statements a habit, these daily reminders will pop into your head unprompted. When anything threatens to disrupt your peace, these positive phrases will replace the negativity. Start with one or two affirmations and as you become more comfortable, implement a few more.

Before you know it, you’ll no longer struggle to keep a positive mindset. You’ll be happier, and you’ll shine no matter what’s going on around you.

12 Signs It’s Time to Say Goodbye in a Long-Distance Romance

January 26, 2022 by Chris Butler

Remember the iconic song from Boy II Men that states it’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday? Many people hold onto relationships for far too long because they don’t know how to say goodbye. A long distance romance tests your love, loyalty, and ability to keep the fires burning from miles apart.

Did you know that many people stay in marriages and relationships far longer than they should because they’ve become comfortable? It’s easier to deal with the drama than rearranging your whole life and starting again. However, when you’re miles apart, you’re already living on your own, so it shouldn’t be as much of a challenge, yet it’s still hard.

Many people fall in love over the internet. Online dating has become a big part of relationships, and meeting someone via the World Wide Web is often straightforward. However, how do you know if it’s worth loving someone who is so far away? You can’t go on dates to the movies, out to dinner, or have any other special moments. Instead, you must settle for Zoom meetings and flying or driving back and forth.

In some instances, a country or even continent separates you from the one you love, which adds another element of strain. Can you love someone and make a relationship work if you’re a world away?

Twelve Signs It’s Time to Break-up with Your Long-Distance Romance

There are often many red flags that indicate a relationship is over. However, you’re often too scared to admit you see the signs. These 12 ways may help you suggest that it’s time to say goodbye to your long distance romance.

1. You’re Feelings Have Changed During the Long Distance Romance

It was a passionate relationship where you couldn’t get enough of one another when things started. Now, you feel so disconnected from them that you don’t know what’s wrong. You want to get back to the way things used to be, but you don’t know how to do it.

It’s evident that your feelings have changed for this person, and it’s time you talk and see why you’re having such a disconnect.

2. Your Long Distance Romance Plays Host to Way Too Many Arguments

You dread the next phone call or Skype session because everything is one big fight. You don’t even know what you argue about, but it seems like everything makes you both angry. What once was a budding romance feels flat and dead. Indeed, you’re both fighting so much that you destroyed anything you had left.

3. Your Long Distance Romance Partner Shuts You Out

Not only is the physical connection an issue due to distance, but your long distance romance is also in trouble because you’re being shut out. Your love doesn’t want to talk very much, but they keep everything very tepid when you do talk. Now, they may have outside stressors that are bothering them, but there’s a reason why they’re pushing you away.

4. You Have Concerns of Faithfulness

You don’t know if it’s that you don’t trust them or the fact that you’re miles apart. However, you undoubtedly think they’re cheating. Maybe you don’t have any proof, but the very situation of being so far from each other makes you on edge.

These days, you don’t trust yourself to be faithful either because the loneliness is getting the best of you.

5. You’re Fantasize About Other People

Everyone has needs that must be met, and these needs are emotional, physical, and spiritual. It’s perfectly normal for you to require intimacy to make you feel complete, and it’s hard to get your physical needs met when there are miles in between you.

One thing is for sure, if you’re fantasizing about other people, then either the distance is getting to you, or they’re not in your heart anymore.

6. There Are Too Many Lies

Lying is a deal-breaker in any relationship. According to Thought Catalog, lying to your partner is the quickest way to lose them, and the Scorpio seems to be the sign that can handle lying the least. Some people forgive lying. But when the lies are constant, and they become more ridiculous, it’s time to end your long distance romance.

7. You Want Different Things

The whole point of having a relationship is that you and your partner will eventually unite at some point. There are very few relationships where married people live apart, and things work. You want to be with the one you love, but what if the one you love has other plans?

For instance, you may want to live in Chicago and work at a big hospital. However, the other party wants to live in New York City as this has always been home. They won’t leave New York, and you can’t imagine leaving Chicago. If there is no give and take in this relationship, how will things ever work?

The problem is that ten years down the line, you will still be living separate lives and only meeting occasionally in the middle.

8. Your Friends Tell You to Break off the Long Distance Romance

It’s often the case that your friend and family members see the red flags of trouble before you. When you’re so close to the situation, it makes it challenging to see all the issues. However, when your friends are telling you that it’s time to break up, then it’s probably worth at least listening to their rationale.

9. There Are Deal Breaking Situations

Breaking up is not easy, but sometimes some deal-breakers make it seem impossible to continue. For instance, maybe the other person is too heavily involved with their ex because of children. They tend to take things to the extreme, like grocery shopping and running errands for their ex.

Do you think you can live with a third party in your relationship? A long distance romance is already hard enough, but when you have an ex that’s so close and still connected, it just makes things even harder.

10. You’re Doing All the Sacrificing

You fly or drive back and forth to see one another, but it seems that you and your wallet are the ones making all the sacrifices. You keep the roads hot, trying to make things work, but you still feel horrible about the whole situation. If they would meet you halfway or do some traveling here, there, and everywhere, it would make things easier on you.

11. You Feel Stuck

One of the worst feelings in a relationship is when you feel stuck. You can’t turn to the left or the right because you’re just in a no-win situation. When you’re afraid to end things but you’re not moving forward, you’re stuck in the middle.

While it’s true that relationships have good and bad times, you’ve been in this place for far too long. Indeed, you don’t want to end it all, but you don’t want to stay either. It would help if you cut the tie that binds.

12. You’re Unhappy in the Long Distance Romance

You’ve gone to bed crying your eyes out, and you’ve broken up with them 100 times in your mind, but you can’t seem to break free. It’s not that they’ve done anything wrong, but it just feels off. You’re unhappy, and you want to feel once again the joy of being in a relationship with someone that completes you.

Five Tips for Breaking Off Your Long Distance Romance

Not sure how to end things with someone you love, but distance separates you? Here are a few tips on how to break things off the right way.

Break up face to face – Though distance separates you, still be man or woman enough to do it on Zoon or Skype if you can’t make the trip. Please give them the respect of seeing your face and hearing you loud and clear.
Don’t text – Text message break-ups are impersonal and quite rude. It’s telling the person that they’re not even worth a phone call.
Calls are the second-best option – Sometimes, a phone call is most accessible. Make sure you don’t get irate and go into a big production. Instead, take your time and tell them why things aren’t working for you from your heart. Traditionally, a phone call isn’t the best way, but it will have to suffice since you’re separated by miles.
Don’t have someone else do it – While it seems easier to put things off to a friend or college, be person enough to tell them how you feel yourself.
Never let them talk you into staying – if you’re already miserable, then be strong enough to stand your ground.

Final Thoughts on Saying Goodbye to Your Long Distance Romance

A study conducted by Dating at a Distance found that only 60 percent of long-distance relationships last. The article states that it’s more common for people between 18-24 years old to be in such an arrangement, primarily due to college. However, the success rate drops the older the person becomes.

The article also states that 37 percent of folks don’t make it past three months in such a relationship, so if you’ve made it further than this, you’ve defied the odds. Long distance romance is complicated, no matter how much you love one another. So, if you feel that it’s too much and you’re ready to say goodbye, don’t put off the inevitable.

A Stay-Home Mom Has the Hardest Job, According to Science

January 26, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

Whether you work outside or are a stay-home mom, you love your child and enjoy raising children. All parents work hard, but a stay-at-home mom seems to have the most demanding job of all.

Editorial Note: Saying that stay-home moms have the most challenging job isn’t to downplay the experiences of working mothers, but those in the workforce have an advantage over those who opt to stay home with their children. Nor does this downplay how hard dads work at home or in their careers. However, we are following the data, specifically regarding stay-home moms. Most of us at PoP are all working parents, and we acknowledge that parenting can be challenging for all.

Kids are blessings and offer much love and affection, but they also require much care. For stay-at-home moms, the responsibility falls solely to them without reprieve.

While most stay-home moms love their role, it can still take its toll. It’s a stressful job that you can’t take a break from since it requires feeding, bathing, changing, cleaning, soothing, and more. Staying home with your baby is fulfilling and wonderful, but that doesn’t decrease the amount of work motherhood takes.

People who haven’t stayed home with their kids sometimes falsely assume it’s an easy job, but that’s far from the truth. Studies show that a stay-home mom has the most challenging job, despite the false assumptions. Moms who stay home to care for their kids don’t get a break from the emotional, mental, and physical energy it requires.

Ten Reasons Why a Stay-Home Mom Has the Hardest Job

There’s been a long-standing debate on if a stay-home mom or working mom has a harder job. However, one study now shows that the moms who stay home win the discussion. The study indicated that stay-at-home parents are more stressed-out than parents who work.

This study involved 1,500 parents from a variety of career fields. It showed that even working parents stopped judging stay-at-home parents after having a child of their own. More than half of the participants said that having a baby was hard, even if they had a great support system.

For stay-at-home moms, most of the child-rearing is on them alone. While having that time with your child is a blessing, it doesn’t make it any easier. Some of the reasons it’s the hardest job include:

1 – There Are No Salary or Health Benefits for the Stay-home Mom

Stay at home moms work 24 hours a day, but they don’t get paid for any of it. Even working parents who don’t enjoy their job get a paycheck, but a mom who stays home can’t say the same. Parents who stay at home never stop working, and they do many jobs at one time.

2 – The Stay-home Mom Can’t Say No.

In a regular job, employees can speak up for themselves if they’re asked to do something that isn’t in their job description. However, parents who stay home can’t say no to any task because they’re the only ones there to do it. No matter how gross or complex the job, the primary caregiver has to deal with it.

3 – They Don’t Get Breaks

When a parent stays home with the kids, they don’t get to take breaks whenever they want. Instead, they spend each moment getting things done around the house or setting up appointments. They end up multi-tasking and trying to get everything done before preparing dinner.

Even when a stay-home mom goes to the restroom, they usually don’t do it alone. Their kids will follow them in the bathroom or sit outside the door waiting for them. Plus, they have to eat lunch while working, too.

4 – The Hard Work of a Stay-home Mome Goes Unseen

Even when parents who stay home go above and beyond, their hard work often goes unseen. Their little ones won’t notice all the hard work they put in, and sometimes their spouse doesn’t either. There’s no chance of recognition, a bonus, or a raise like in a regular job.

5 – Other People Assume It Isn’t a Real Job

While other people’s opinions shouldn’t matter, it doesn’t help make things easier. People who don’t have kids assume that staying home to take care of kids isn’t a real job. Some working parents even carry the false assumption, hurting the moms who do it all.

All parents have demanding jobs, and it isn’t fair to assume someone who stays home doesn’t do anything. Staying home means raising humans to become functioning members of society, a job that doesn’t allow for many mistakes. There’s no job more real than one that prepares kids to interact with the world around them.

6 – They Don’t Get to Eat an Uninterrupted Lunch

Regular employers legally have to provide a lunch break for full-time employees. However, when your child is your boss, they don’t follow the same standards. Many times, moms end up eating their lunch standing up in the kitchen, not finishing before it gets cold.

Kids don’t care if you want to eat lunch if they need something. Sure, you can teach them to respect your meal times, but that doesn’t work with all kids, specifically infants and toddlers. Even teenagers will interrupt and expect their mom to drop what they’re doing.

7 – They Often Suffer from Social Isolation

Studies show that societal pressure is causing moms to spend too much time with their kids, invoking social isolation. Stay-at-home moms spend all day with their kids but then feel guilty for leaving them in the evenings or on weekends. After a while of little to no adult interaction, social isolation kicks in and leaves the mom feeling depressed.

When moms are always with their kids, it hinders their emotional well-being. Adults need time to spend away from their children, whether at work or not. Motherhood can’t be the only way they define themselves.

People working outside the home might complain about their co-workers’ stories, but they at least get to interact. Plus, they can discuss their interests with people who can understand them. It might not seem like a big deal, but having a chance to be an adult is a blessing.

8 – Full-time Parenting Takes an Emotional Toll

While a regular boss might be hard to deal with, they generally have to follow some professional rules. There are things they can’t do or say to you, and you can have a conversation about any issues that come up. However, stay-at-home moms deal with raising children all day who sometimes don’t care how they make you feel.

While a parent knows their child doesn’t mean hurtful things they say, it can still get to you. Stay-at-home moms have to put up with their child’s bad day without taking a break from the tantrums and anger. After a while, it starts to wear on their heart.

Studies show that stay-at-home moms suffer from depression, sadness, anger, and guilt more often than other moms. 26% of them repeated feeling sadness the previous day, and 50% felt overwhelming stress. Some of the sorrow and anxiety stem from tantrums, but many other things contribute, too.

9 – Stay-home Moms Are Always Scrutinized

Stay-at-home moms always feel scrutinized by everyone around them. If the doctor says something isn’t right with their child, they feel judged. Likewise, if teachers, lactation consultants, and experts question what they do, it feels like a performance review. There are always other ways to do things as a parent, causing moms to be scrutinized no matter how they do it.

Plus, their performance review involves how they raise their child, making it even more personal. People always make them feel like they aren’t doing their job well enough.

10 – A Stay-Home Mom Always Puts Herself Last

All parents make sacrifices, but a stay-at-home mom does it non-stop, all day long. Their entire life revolves around their child, making it impossible to put themselves first. Moms strategize their mornings to accommodate their child’s schedules and habits.

Then, the stay-at-home mom strategizes their evening before they can go to bed at night. Planning their time around someone else’s schedule doesn’t stop at any point during the day, either.

When it’s lunchtime, they don’t get to go ahead and eat, no matter how hungry they are. Moms first have to make sure all of the kids eat, and then it’ll be time to clean them up before the mom can eat.

If stay-at-home mom has anything they must focus on, they must figure out how to get it done while taking care of kids. For many stay-at-home moms, figuring out how to get it done means squeezing those tasks into a small window of time.

Stay-at-home moms even share their bodies well after the child comes out of the womb. Kids tend to hang on their mothers and tug at them non-stop. No matter what the parent is doing, the child will be right next to them or underfoot the entire time.

The Bright Side to Being a Stay-Home Mom

While there are many reasons that a stay-at-home mom has the hardest job, it is still a blessing. Studies show that kids who have a parent at home do better in school, behave better, and experience less stress. These children also exhibited less aggression than kids who go to childcare.

Final Thoughts on A Stay-Home Mom Has the Hardest Job, According to One Study

Parenting is hard whether you’re a stay-home mom or a working mom. However, the stigma that stay-at-home moms have it easy is now disproven by research. Regardless, it’s a blessing to have that time with your kids, and stay-at-home moms understand that.

Stop beating yourself up whether you stay home or have a regular job. Parenting is never easy, and we should all support one another. Focus on doing what is best for your family, but recognize the essential role stay-home moms play in society.

Precognitive Dreams: Warnings and Omens…or Just Strange Dreams?

January 26, 2022 by Chris Butler

Dreaming is an essential part of the human experience. How can you tell if a disturbing dream is precognitive or not? First, you can usually recount a premonition dream in vivid detail.

The whole scene is so realistic it seems as if you’re there. The details are unique, and it’s easy to describe your dream to family and friends. However, any that are influenced by facts you already know aren’t considered prophetic dreams, nor are the ones that end up being self-fulfilled prophecies.

For example, you dreamt of visiting Mexico and decided to go that summer. Your dream wasn’t foretelling the future because you fulfilled it yourself. An article published by the Sleep Foundation says that most people spend a significant portion of their sleep time dreaming, so it’s no wonder some of these may be premonitions or precognitive dreams.

Can Precognitive Dreams Predict the Future?

The scientific community has little solid evidence about precognitive dreaming, so it’s considered anecdotal. However, some evidence suggests that your dreams may predict mental decline and the onset of sickness. In an article published by Medical Acupuncture, early warning signs for cancer and other diseases were predicted accurately in dreams.

It’s also possible for your dreams to be unusual in various stages of your life. Many parents-to-be report that they have strange dreams or nightmares. If you’ve had a traumatic event or have mental problems, you’re likely to experience nightmares that affect your sleep patterns. These dreams are unsettling, but they’re usually not prophetic.

Understanding the Various Types of Dreams

Your dreams are usually a reflection of your feelings and life experiences. They can help you understand yourself better when you reflect on their deeper meanings. Although humans have pondered the dreamworld since the beginning, it remains an enduring mystery.

The brain is still active while you sleep, and it uses mental images to interpret your waking experiences. Many of your dreams are fleeting and don’t make any sense. However, some can be so frighteningly vivid that you believe your foreseeing the future.

Science offers no definite answers for why you dream. There are several types of dreams, including prophetic ones. Here is a list of the most experienced night visions.

1. Nightmares

Remember your scary childhood dreams about the wicked monster hiding under your bed? Nightmares can be quite disturbing dreams. If you watch a horror movie before bed, are sleep deprived, or have a health issue, you’re more apt to have one of these scary visions.

2. Healing

Your desire to perform miraculous healings for yourself and others can manifest as a healing dream. In these inspiring fantasies, you may use mental powers to dispel illness and physical challenges. Your unconscious mind feels empowered with a sense of purpose and peacefulness.

3. Lucid

Have your senses ever been so heightened during your rest that you realized that you were dreaming? This is called lucid, as you’re fully aware of your state, and you can often control the events. They can seem so real that when you awaken, you may still think you’re dreaming for a couple of minutes.

4. Recurring

Sometimes, you’ll experience a specific dream-like a perpetual film loop. It’s often the same scenario, events, and sensations. These rerun dreams take an ominous turn when they are nightmares. It could be caused by internal conflict, or it could be precognitive in nature.

5. Prophetic

Precognitive visions are often called prophetic dreams because you may see future events before they happen. Those who believe they are psychic may claim these unique dreams as a supernatural gift. However, some may say that your subconscious creates these dreams from anxiety about the future.

Strange Instances When Precognitive Dreams Warned About the Future

Precognitive dreams allegedly predicted various anecdotes from past historical events. The evidence is completely subjective and can’t be scientifically verified, however, you can’t deny the strange connections. Here are some of the most well-known events that were allegedly foretold by dreams.

1. Abraham Lincoln’s Assassination

In 1865, President Abraham Lincoln became the first U.S. President to be assassinated. A close friend of the president later claimed that Lincoln told him about a dream that predicted his assassination. Was this all just a weird coincidence, or did Lincoln have a prophetic dream?

According to his friend, Lincoln described his dream in vivid detail. He was in a White House corridor and heard wailing and sobbing. Upon entering the East Room to investigate, he saw a body prepared in a casket. When he asked the mourning crowd what happened, they told him he was killed.

The dream apparently distressed Lincoln so much he sought counsel with his friend. Ironically, he had this dream only days before his assassination by John Wilkes Booth. Was Lincoln foreseeing the events that occurred on April 14, 1865, or was he internalizing his fears?

2. The Deadly Landslide

Another infamous case of alleged precognitive dreams involved a tiny village in South Wales. The disaster occurred in 1966, and sadly there were 144 students and teachers killed at a nearby school. It was in the town of Aberfan, and the landslide occurred from a coal mine. Dr. John Barker visited the site after the disaster, and he was a renowned British psychiatrist.

He interviewed those in the village which saw the landslide and its lethal aftermath. Dr. Barker researched thought patterns of people who believed that death was imminent. During the interviews, Barker discovered that at least 76 villagers claimed premonitions about the devastating landslide.

One of these interviews was with a mother whose ten-year-old-daughter had perished in the disaster. According to the mother, Eryl Mai told her about a nightmare she had one day before the tragedy. Mai said that her school had disappeared and was covered in a black substance. Was the little girl having a premonition, or was her dream open to interpretation?

3. The Assassination of Robert Kennedy

After his interviews with the people of Aberfan, Dr. Barker kept in contact with two of his subjects. He reported many of their accurate precognitive dreams for several years in a newspaper column called the Premonitions Bureau. Allegedly, one of these dreams may have predicted the assassination of Robert Kennedy.

According to the story, Kathleen Middleton began having recurring nightmares in March of 1968 about the assassination of Robert Kennedy. She called the Mr. Barker three times on June 4, 1968, as her dreams concerned her regarding Kennedy’s safety. The following day just after midnight, Robert Kennedy was shot.

Is There a Scientific Explanation for Precognitive Dreams?

Are prophetic dreams real, or are they a matter of chance and coincidence? As Ebeneezer Scrooge said, do they have more to do with gravy than grave? Scientific research has a few proposed explanations for them.

1. Discerning Recollection Abilities

You are more likely to remember confirmed precognitive dreams than those you can’t ensure. It may be a case of hindsight being 20/20. If your dreams come true, you’re more apt to remember vivid details.

2. Open-Mindedness for Uncertainty

This may be an instance of seeing what you want to see in cloud formations. If your dreams are ambiguous, it’s easy to read what you want into them. In scientific terms, you may tolerate vagueness and may experience prophetic dreams.

3. Supernatural Beliefs of Precognitive Dreams

If your belief system leans towards the supernatural, you’re more likely to believe in precognitive dreaming than those who don’t. You may see many connections between the physical world and the paranormal daily. If so, you probably experience prophetic dreams and premonitions.

4. Happenstance

Maybe you’re one of the many people who don’t give credibility to your dreams until one comes true. You may use open-mindedness, selective recall, and your belief system as a filter for you to make the connections. For you, the dreams may be the luck of the draw.

5. Subliminal Links and Precognitive Dreams

Your brain stores every sensation and thought throughout the day. During sleep, these subconscious files may open and manifest in dream symbols. Then, you remember the dream and file it away in your memory.

Maybe the next day, something happens that was in your dream. Understandably, you would link the dream to the event. Experts would say that these connections may be purely subliminal and not premonitions at all.

How Common Are These Precognitive Dreams?

Have you experienced many dreams that you consider to be prophetic? An article published by the Daily Mail discusses the almost two decades of research conducted by Dr. Julia Mossbridge. She found that at least 15 to 30 percent of the population has experienced some prophetic dreams.

However, some experts point out that the surveys would be too subjective. The numbers would be higher if the interviewed people believed in psychic dreams. Conversely, the numbers would be lower if more interviewees were non-believers.

Final Thoughts on Precognitive Dreams

While there still are no definitive answers for the possibility of precognitive dreams, research offers a few clues. Much more research must happen before scientists approve or disprove. For now, your prophetic dreams are open to your interpretation.

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