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6 Ways a Jealous Relationship Harms Your Self-Esteem

January 16, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Jealousy is far from an uncommon emotion. After all, it’s the brain’s response to a perceived threat towards a relationship that you hold in high regard. There are normal, healthy levels of this feeling, and there’s nothing wrong with the occasional jealous relationship experience.

In fact, research shows that a third of all married couples who attend therapy together experience jealousy! But problems begin to arise when jealousy becomes irrational and overblown. Excessive levels of this emotion can fill relationships with distrust, uneasiness, and pain. While good jealousy can increase passionate feelings, or so say studies, too much will ultimately destroy a relationship.

Experts say that unhealthy jealousy has its roots in fears of abandonment. When you worry that you’re not entirely deserving of love, you have a confirmation bias that seeks reasons others may not love you. This is terrible for relationships and even worse for your self-confidence. Here are six ways a jealous relationship harms your self-esteem.

1. It Causes Self-Comparison

Self-comparison is the act of comparing yourself to other events, people, and ideas. In a jealous relationship, this occurs when you compare yourself to other people in your partner’s life. When you think your partner likes someone else or could be won over by someone else, you compare yourself to that person. This harms your self-esteem because:

· No Jealous Self-Comparisons Are Accurate

When you compare yourself to others, you’re comparing yourself to the way they present themselves. On social media, they showcase their best sides. When people talk about them, you hear what they show. When you meet them, you see them put together. Meanwhile, you know all your own deepest insecurities and flaws. You’re comparing your worst self to their best self, and your self-esteem gets dragged even further downhill.

· Jealousy Dehumanizes Those You Compare Yourself To

Jealousy drives disconnection. And no, we don’t just mean disconnection from your partner in a jealous relationship. When you view someone as the object of your jealousy, they become progressively less human in your eyes. They become a hated “thing” – something that is an enemy. You begin to perceive everything they do as an attack against you, as if they’re playing mind games constantly. Not only is this inaccurate, but it’s also harmful and causes a lot of negative feelings about yourself and others.

· Jealousy Rarely Breeds Positive Upwards Comparison

Upward social comparison can be a very positive thing! It motivates you to be better because you feel inspired by those you look up to, say studies. But in a jealous relationship, this isn’t the kind of comparison that springs forth – you compare yourself upwards but negatively towards yourself. This only worsens your self-esteem as you talk down to yourself because you perceive someone else as “better” than you.

2. It Makes You Criticize Yourself

When you’re jealous, you lose confidence in yourself. The comparison that you perform with others isn’t just about noticing your differences. It’s about beating yourself up because you think you should be more like those you’re envious of.

Worse still, low self-esteem tends to increase the risk of jealousy. You’re more likely to criticize yourself if you’ve already been doing it for a while. In a jealous relationship, self-criticism may be performed by:

Defining yourself by past, resolved mistakes, and believing that your love may abandon you because of them.
Attributing adverse events in your relationship as a direct reflection of your lack of worth, often believing that this may not have happened if you were like someone else.
Attempting to become more like the person who makes you feel envious, thus disrupting your sense of self in the process.
Refusing to accept reassurance or viewing any consolation negatively, even when support received is genuine, according to research.

3. It Causes Distance In A Relationship

Your self-esteem in a relationship can be maintained when you and your partner maintain an open dialogue and have a close bond. You’ll be able to talk about all sorts of complex topics, express concerns in a healthy way, and foster trust.

But in a jealous relationship, only distance is creased. This distance continues to wear down your self-esteem. The more the relationship deteriorates from a distance, the more you’ll feel that this is happening because you’re not good enough. You validate your jealousy by allowing that jealousy to fester in the first place. A jealous relationship fuels distance because:

· Everyday Conversation Is Strained

Every day, everyday topics suddenly become fields filled with landmines. Something simple that someone says can be misconstrued as a reason for an argument or tension. Everything is taken the wrong way. You stop having everyday conversations about random, small things, and the relationship suffers.

· You’re Not Present

When you’re filled with jealousy, you cannot focus on the here and now. Instead of enjoying your relationship, your head is filled with jealous thoughts. Your connection begins to die as you become more and more distant.

· Arguments Get Stuck In Limbo

Each argument you have that’s centered on jealousy gets trapped in a never-ending cycle. When you’re already questioning everything and playing mind games with yourself, everything a partner says becomes part of the conspiracy. You’ll have the same fights repeatedly, which only further breaks apart a relationship.

· It Breaks Trust

Relationships build from the trust. A jealous relationship doesn’t have any of that. The less you trust your partner, the more jealous you’ll become. The more jealous you become, the less your partner trusts you in turn. It’s a mess, and the relationship will fracture.

4. It Makes You Think You’re Not Good Enough

Anyone with poor self-esteem believes, to some degree, that they aren’t good enough. This can involve appearance, financial status, personality traits, skills, and many other factors. This is something that jealousy feeds on a lot.

In a jealous relationship, you constantly chase an ideal of what you “should” be like. You continuously put others on a pedestal and hope to be like them or worthy of them. Meanwhile, you continually degrade yourself, saying that you lack value and worth.

Sometimes, this even occurs subconsciously. Constantly being on high alert due to jealousy makes your brain search for points of comparison. Your mind is constantly picking up on small details and using them as referential factors that you need to compete with or be better than. It’s a never-ending, highly destructive way of thinking.

5. It Makes You Stop Trusting Yourself

Your trust in yourself is your confidence in yourself, which is tied closely with your self-esteem. Unfortunately, a jealous relationship has a way of completely ruining your ability for self-trust. You constantly play mind games with yourself to figure out the “truth,” which means you have to doubt the realities of what you see.

The less you trust yourself, the more you think you can’t rely on anything you believe. It’s not healthy! A lack of self-trust and jealousy are further connected because they both incorporate the following factors:

· Reassurance-Seeking

In a jealous relationship, you constantly need the validation and reassurance of your partner. You need them always to assure you that you’re the person they want to be with and that they’re not going to leave you for someone else. This causes you to become reliant on that reassurance, so you stop reassuring yourself and trust your mind.

· Taking Emotions As Logic

Validating your emotions, even the negative feelings, is good! But taking them as logical, entirely rational truths that guide your decision-making isn’t ideal. When you feel envy bubble up inside you, you trust your feelings over your brain. You let those emotions control you, and you get more and more jealous.

· Perfectionism

To be more like the people, you feel jealous of. You’re likely to become more perfectionistic. You want to feel worthy of your relationship for fear that if you’re not perfect, you’ll be left. Of course, this is an impossible standard, and when you focus on chasing the impossible, you stop trusting yourself as you are.

· Worry

Worry is central to negative self-esteem. You worry you’re not good enough, that you’re not worthy of love, or that your partner will leave you. You worry about all these things and don’t trust that these anxieties aren’t rooted in reality.

6. It’s A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

One of the biggest dangers of a jealous relationship is how it fulfills itself. The jealousy that you feel fuels numerous negative, toxic behaviors. These behaviors lead to the fracturing and eventual end of many relationships.

When this mindset causes a relationship rift, your jealous brain shifts to overdrive. You see this end as a confirmation of all your worst fears. All the ways that jealousy harms your self-esteem become confirmed facts in your mind. You may think:

See, I knew that person was more attractive than me! (self-comparison)
I should have worked out more, and then they would have stayed. (criticizing yourself)
I was right not to trust them. They didn’t want me from the start! (things that cause distance in a relationship)
I’m undeserving of a relationship. No one could want me. (you think you’re not good enough)
I would have been so much more prepared for this if I hadn’t missed all of those signs! I can’t believe I didn’t see all those reasons my jealousy was valid! (you stop trusting yourself)

Although your jealousy has lied to you, you continue to stand by it. Your relationship falls apart, and you feel that this means your jealousy was valid. The cycle only continues, and you continue to bring these thoughts into future interactions—your self-esteem plummets, which further reinforces that jealousy. It’s a deadly downward spiral, and it’s best to climb out of as quickly as possible.

Final Thoughts On Some Ways A Jealous Relationship Can Harm Your Self-Esteem

A jealous relationship will be rife with turmoil, stress, and hurt, and ultimately, it’ll crash and burn. Learning to address feelings of jealousy positively through open communication and emotional regulation can save partnerships.

If your relationship is plagued by jealousy, consider seeking couple’s counseling and individual therapy. A professional can teach you healthy coping mechanisms and better ways to direct, process, and understand these emotions.

3 Science-Proven Relaxation Techniques Every Busy Person Needs to Try

January 15, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

The people who need relaxation techniques have the least time to use them! It can be challenging for those constantly hurrying about their daily lives to find a moment to stop and breathe.

But without getting that much-needed time for self-care, your health and wellbeing can suffer. Thankfully, there are a few simple practices you can squeeze into your schedule! Here are three science-proved relaxation techniques every busy person needs to try.

1. Guided Imagery

Guided imagery is a valuable mechanism that can calm the body through a mix of meditation and focused relaxation. It’s among the most straightforward relaxation techniques, but it can be challenging to learn. Practitioners typically follow recorded instructions or a live instructor to guide the images they seek to create. Adept practitioners can do that on their own!

Guided imagery is also known as katathym-imaginative psychotherapy or guided affective imagery. It involves generating various mental images to recreate sensory perceptions of different input types. This may include smells, sounds, tastes, sights, and movements. It can also have multiple experiences and imaginative ideas that defy the typical “sensory” response concept.

When performing this practice, you start to imagine pleasant sensations and experiences. This can be a great reprieve in a time of stress, providing a quick way to bring your mind back to clarity. Guided imagery has been proven to achieve the following outcomes:

· Reduce Symptoms Of Depression

Depression and similar mood disorders often involve several negative mental images. As such, relaxation techniques that provide positive images can reduce those symptoms. Studies have found that guided imagery can even help those who are depressed due to disease and physical issues.

· Reduce Stress And Anxiety

Guided imagery is among the best relaxation techniques for managing anxiety and stress. That’s why it’s so good for busy people! Studies have found that a daily practice can have long-lasting effects on stress levels, even before anxiety-inducing events.

· Reduce Pain

Did you know that high-stress levels worsen the experienced severity of how you perceive pain? That works in reverse, as well! Research indicates that guided imagery can even decrease pain symptoms among chronic illnesses.

· Improve Sleep

If you’ve ever tossed and turned trying to fall asleep at night, then you know 100% that stress and anxiety can wreak havoc on one’s ability to sleep and rest! Studies have found that guided imagery, which is a form of mindfulness, can help to boost sleep quality. You’ll be able to fall asleep faster and enjoy better sleep!

So, how can you perform guided imagery? It’s easiest to follow a video, audio, or live guide while you’re still learning the technique. But if you’re going to try it yourself, here are some steps to take!

· Step 1: Get Comfortable

To engage in imagined sensory input, you need to make sure current sensory information isn’t so overwhelming that it distracts you. Use a relaxed position, such as the one you may have used before for other forms of meditation. Lying or sitting down in a quiet, comfortable location is ideal.

· Step 2: Relax Your Breathing

Close your eyes and inhale deeply with your diaphragm. Imagine yourself inhaling calm and exhaling all your stress from the day. Pay attention to how your body moves as you inhale and exhale, such as how your shoulders fall and rise or your stomach contracts and expands. You will maintain this breathing style for the rest of the practice.

· Step 3: Imagine The Scene Of Your Choice

Now that you’re fully relaxed bring your mind’s creativity forward and imagine a peaceful, happy scene. You can go to your happy place or bring up a peaceful memory, for example, or you could imagine a new place from scratch. What matters is that it relaxes you!

· Step 4: Sense The Scene’s Details

It’s time to engage your sensory perception. Imagine all the things you’d feel, smell, taste, see, and hear within the scene in your mind. For example, you may imagine a babbling brook or the scent of baking bread. Immerse yourself into this world.

· Step 5: Enjoy!

Perform your guided imagery for a minimum of 15 minutes or for as long as you’d like. Continue your deep breathing and your sensory engagement. When you’re ready to leave your make-believe world, count backward from ten before opening your eyes.

2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Progressive muscle relaxation is among the most straightforward science-proved deep relaxation techniques you can try on your own! It’s a non-pharmacological method that is based on regulating the bodies’ physical response to tension and stress. It involves an awareness of that tension in different muscle groups in the body and learning more about your anxiety as you go.

Simply put, you focus on tensing and relaxing different muscle groups one by one! It might surprise you that this is one of the best relaxation techniques since it sounds straightforward. But science has shown that progressive muscle relaxation can help you reap the following benefits:

· Balance Systolic Blood Pressure

You probably already know that stress can raise blood pressure. Worse still, high blood pressure can lead to several health issues down the line! Luckily, research indicates that progressive muscle relaxation is one of the effective relaxation techniques to reduce those levels.

· Reduce Tension, Stress, And Anxiety

If your mental health suffers from your busy schedule, studies show that progressive muscle relaxation reduces disorderly symptoms. You’ll feel calmer, happier, and less stressed out.

· Reduce Pain

Muscle relaxation techniques are great for managing pain. If you deal with various chronic or constant pain issues, this can be a quick way to help reduce a few symptoms. Studies show this is beneficial for neck pain and other research reveals benefits for lower back pain!

· Improve Sleep

It’s interesting just how much sleep and stress are linked! Progressive muscle relaxation has been found in studies to benefit sleep, improving its quality and speed. This will boost your mood, positivity, and energy.

· Decrease Migraine Frequency

Anyone who’s ever had a migraine knows just how painful and terrible they are. If you have them often, you may have noticed that they can get triggered by stress. Progressive muscle relaxation is one of the relaxation techniques that reduces their frequencies, says research.

So, how can you perform guided imagery? It’s entirely up to you the order with which you act. It would help if you got comfortable, then progressively focused on different muscles from one end of your body to the next. You tense a group of muscles, relax them, and move on to the next. The muscle groups to do this with individually, from head to toe, are:

Raise brow to tense, lower to release.
Close tightly to tense, relax to release.
Purse to tense, part to release.
Open wide to tense, close gently to release.
Clench to tense, then release.
Neck and Shoulders. Raise shoulders to your ears to tense, lower to release.
Tighten your chest as you inhale to tense, then release.
Tense your arm muscles to tense, then release.
Abdominal muscles. Contract to tense, then expand with exhale to release.
Clench your hands into fists to tense, then release.
Squeeze to tense, then release.
Squeeze to tense, then release.
Move them towards each other to tense, then move them back to release.
Tense your calf muscles to tense, then release.
Increase tension to tense, then release.
Lift toes upwards to tense, then release. Repeat by holding toes down to tense again, then release.

You can choose to start at your forehead or at your toes, as long as you move in an orderly fashion from one end to the other. Here are some tips for performing the technique!

· Relax

Get into a comfortable lying or sitting position, close your eyes, and get calm. It’s best to do this in a quiet room where you won’t be disturbed or distracted. To help get into the zone, try inhaling and exhaling deeply about five times, feeling yourself sink further into calm with each breath.

· Hold and Release

Tense each muscle group for about five to fifteen seconds as you inhale. Then, release the tension by relaxing your muscles with your exhale for twenty to thirty seconds. Don’t worry if you run out of breath; continue a natural breathing pace if needed. Note the differences in your muscle tension when you’re stressing and relaxing them. As you make these observations, continue to breathe in and out deeply.

· Imagine

The mind is a powerful thing! Don’t discount the ability for you to imagine the relaxation. Try to imagine muscle tension leaving your body as you release each group.

· Observe

Please pay attention to how different your muscles feel when tensing versus relaxing them. This will allow you to gain more awareness of your physical symptoms of stress throughout your busy days.

3. Qigong

Qigong is an ancient healing practice from China. It’s a form of meditation that mixes gentle movement and breathing control to produce numerous benefits. Since its creation, it has become more widespread, with people across the globe developing an interest in the practice. This is one of the best relaxation techniques for those who have limited energy to spend due to their busyness!

There isn’t a lot of research into qigong’s effectiveness as of yet. But some studies have found that the practice can:

· Reduce Anxiety And Stress

The multiple different elements of qigong all contribute to its benefits as a relaxation technique. It has gentle movements, regulates breathing, and utilizes meditation. So, of course, it’s going to rid you of some stress! Research shows that weekly or daily practice of qigong can help you better manage everyday anxieties and tension.

· Increase Focus

Busy people need to be able to focus! If they struggle with this, then their stress levels will go through the roof, making it harder to focus again. Research suggests that regular practice of qigong can boost concentration. This is because it involves regulating your body and mind, giving you better mastery over it.

· Improve Balance

The gentle movements of qigong involve a lot of control. Research shows that this is beneficial to physical balancing ability. This can reduce the risk of injuries and falls, so if you’re prone to clumsiness, practicing qigong can give you that side benefit.

There are two kinds of qigong. One is a passive form, which is not dissimilar to guided meditation and imagery techniques. The second is its more popular active form, which is more traditional. Regardless of which one you’re interested in, it’s a good idea to follow a teacher or instructional video on the technique closely. You’ll have to devote a little time to learn from a professional, but the payoff is worth it for busy folks!

Final Thoughts On Some Relaxation Techniques Busy People Need To Try

In our busy world, we must not forget the importance of taking some time to slow down and relax. Try one of these three suggested science-proved relaxation techniques, and you’ll notice a massive difference in your daily life!

Experts Explain the Breakup Signs That Say the End is Near

January 15, 2022 by Lakeisha Ethans

Breakups don’t usually come without any warning. Usually, numerous breakup signs leading up to the end indicate things will fall apart.

But many people choose to ignore these signs or remain in denial about them. This prevents them from preparing themselves or working to fix problems before it’s too late. Still, you do not fix everything. At other times, you should confront things head-on. Here’s how experts explain the breakup signs that say the end is near and why that’s okay.

Five Breakup Signs That Indicate The End Is Near

Watch for these red flags.

1. They Keep Criticizing You

A little constructive criticism is good in many romantic, platonic, or otherwise relationships. But there’s a point where that becomes one of the breakup signs that the relationship has run its course. In fact, it becomes toxic.

Most relationships are filled with genuine compliments. You’ll appreciate their personality, appearance, and skills when you love your partner. You’ll compliment them on these different factors and genuinely appreciate them. It’s a healthy part of any relationship and coexists peacefully with criticism positively.

But problems begin to arise when criticism happens more often than compliments, says couples therapist Alisha Powell. If the niceties are beginning to face away and most of your conversations are filled with critique, it’s a sign of the end. This is especially true if the lack of compliments is a relatively new change or comes with poor treatment.

In many cases like this, a couple will need relationship therapy to overcome these issues. Communication and openness go a long way. But for many relationships, this behavior is a symptom that the partnership has run its course and the love has faded.

2. They’re Not Present When They’re With You

Have you ever had someone to snap you out of a daze to bring you back to the present? You’ve likely noticed your attention drifting away in various situations, especially ones you find boring. Just because you’re sitting there doesn’t mean you’re paying attention.

Physical presence is usual during a relationship, but it’s not the only kind of presence that matters. There’s not much point in spending time with someone if you’re completely mentally and emotionally checked out. Psychotherapist and licensed counselor Kristie Overstreet explains that this is among the clear breakup signs. If you’d like to fix the issue, you’ll have to talk to them positively to find out what’s on their mind.

Note that this doesn’t refer to mutual enjoyment of each other’s company. For example, you might like hanging out with your partner, even if you’re both doing your own thing separately. That’s fine and healthy, especially if you already spend tons of time together!

Instead, lack of presence refers to supposed quality time being completely mentally distant. For example:

You’re on a date, and they’re on their phone the whole time.
You’re spending quality time together, but they never seem to hear what you say and always need their attention grabbed.
You feel like you have to put all the effort into initiating conversations and ideas when you’re together.

3. The Arguing Has Stopped

Most couples believe that a lack of arguments signifies a healthy relationship. It can feel like a relief if you used to argue a lot and now simply don’t anymore. But care must be taken to ensure this is a good thing and not a sign of a worse problem.

Marriage and family therapist Lisa Brookes Kift, an author writing for the Gottman Institute, seconds this. She explains that, based on Dr. Gottman’s research, a lack of fighting can be more destructive than fighting. This is because it signals a lack of communication. It means that:

You’re no longer willing to hash things out.
The commitment to continual togetherness and growth has died.
You’ve stopped trying to solve problems in the relationship.
There’s a lack of passion for the connection.
You’re stonewalling–or your partner is.
Resentment builds over issues that you don’t communicate.
You don’t get to learn new communication skills.
You don’t know to compromise.

This doesn’t mean that you should be fighting about every little thing. But periodical conflict is healthy and expected in a relationship. Being able to handle that conflict well means you can confront issues as a couple and work towards long-term improvements.

So when a partner stops fighting at all, it may be one of the more overlooked breakup signs. They might be pulling away and avoiding conflict because they don’t think it’s worth it anymore. A breakup is on the horizon unless you both start communicating to fix these issues!

4. The Information You Get Is Selective

In a relationship, partners share a lot of information. Different couples have different levels of complete openness; some share everything, others are a little fussier. But there’s one thing that remains constant across serious couples. Big, significant life events are shared reasonably quickly!

So what happens when that stream of information starts to slow to a halt? You’ll learn about something huge in your partner’s life weeks after it happens. Or, even worse, you’ll hear about it from someone else. In turn, you also start feeling less comfortable sharing stuff about your life.

Licensed therapist Kia James explains that when you stop sharing extensive information, intimacy begins to die out. Walls get built that start to divide you because you’re not actively including each other in your lives. It’s one of the subtler breakup signs. That distance can be fixed, but closing the gap is hard unless all partners agree to work on it.

5. You Don’t Know If You Can Trust Them

Trust is the heart of a healthy relationship. You need to trust your partner and have them trust you in turn, or things will start to crumble. If your trust in your partner has begun to fade, or they’ve stopped trusting you, that’s among breakup signs an end is near. Behavior can include:

Doubting your partner’s truthfulness or them challenging yours
Snooping through their phone or devices, or them poking through yours
A history of dishonest or disloyal behavior from your partner or you

Juli Fraga, a licensed psychologist, explains that these problems often perpetuate themselves. They create resentment that only builds and builds to a breaking point. This dangerous sign needs to be addressed immediately to be overcome!

Why It’s Okay To See These Breakup Signs And End A Dysfunctional Relationship

Yes, breaking up hurts. But here’s the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.

1. It Gives You Time To Grieve Instead Of Being Stuck

Admittedly, not everyone will be thrilled about the grief aspect of a breakup. That’s why people ignore breakup signs for so long. They know that moving on and handling the loss of the relationship will feel overwhelming. Studies show that there is a drop in mental health after breaking up.

But that grief is a short-term side effect, and it’s all that stands between you and freedom. When you see all these breakup signs in your relationship, things either need to be worked on immediately or they need to end. When neither of those next steps is taken, you end up stuck in a weird limbo. Your relationship gets worse, you get used to each new drop of its quality, and negativity permeates everything. And then, the longer you stay, the harder it is to leave, and the worse the feelings get.

Sometimes, it’s scary to leave a “comfort zone,” even when that comfort zone involves pain and difficulty. No matter how awful, what’s familiar can feel like a better option than the unknown. But putting your foot down and ending a stuck relationship allows you to move forward onto better things finally. You can grieve and process emotions in peace instead of being forced to accept negativity.

2. You Get To Grow

Breaking up with someone is a brave act, setting the stage for lots of personal growth. You get to use the strength from your courage as a jumping-off point. Studies show that breakups are huge facilitators of this type of personal improvement. This is especially true due to these factors:

· Resilience

Surviving a problematic breakup builds your emotional resilience. You’ll better handle unfavorable life circumstances by focusing on the positive and re-framing your emotions. You’ll better understand the breakup signs you saw and how they affected you.

· Lessons

Relationships end and leave lots of lessons in their wake. If you seize the opportunity to internalize and learn from those lessons, you’ll experience much growth. You’ll learn how to handle future issues in your next relationship and will be able to raise standards for a partner while managing your problems.

· Movement

When you’re in a serious and long-term relationship, big life decisions are made with your partner. When you’re single, you don’t need to have those discussions. You’re free to do the things you’ve wanted to do that weren’t practical before. With those things come even more opportunities for growth and learning!

3. You Have Better Relationships

Here’s the most obvious reason that a breakup is okay. If you’re seeing worrying signs that the relationship is suffering, the chances are that you’re not receiving the treatment that you deserve. When you end the partnership, you finally free yourself from unfair treatment. You open yourself up to better relationships instead. These can come in the forms of:

· Support Systems

People around you are happy to support you through your breakup. They will uplift you in this challenging time, and you’ll get to be a better friend to them, too. This also allows you to forge new support systems that are healthier and better!

· New People

When your relationship ends, the dating world has opened up to you again. You can meet new people who may not be your next partner but will impact your life and teach you new lessons and experiences. You’ll also be better at raising your standards for new people in your life.

· Yourself

Dating someone for a very long time in a less-than-ideal relationship can erode your sense of self. Breaking up with someone allows you to spend time happily on your own as you learn to love your own company and feel satisfied with being by yourself.

Final Thoughts On Some Breakup Signs And Why It’s Okay It’s The End

It’s tough to make the call to end a relationship. But if you’re already seeking all the breakup signs that say the end is near, it’s okay to have to draw things to a close. You’ll learn from the relationship, grow, and improve your relationships as you move forward to healthier partnerships in the future.

Relationship Break or Breakup? How to Set the Ground Rules

January 15, 2022 by Sarah Barkley

If your partner says they want a relationship break, you might wonder what it means. You’ll likely feel like you’re breaking up, even if your significant other says otherwise. When you find yourself in this situation, it’s essential to set ground rules right from the start.

Ground rules will ensure that you are on the same page with the relationship break. It’ll help you get past the initial confusion and find comfort in the new situation. Plus, if your partner betrays the ground rules you’ve set together, it might be a sign that a breakup is inevitable.

When you’re in a relationship break, you’ll want to protect yourself however you can. The conversation might not be an easy one to have, but it’ll be worth it. It’s the only way to find a compromise that works for both of you.

It’s hard to figure out what someone wants when they say they want a break, so communication is essential. While no one prepares for the situation, you must address it and determine your partner’s needs and wants. Plus, you must consider your needs and wants, too.

What is a Relationship Break?

Before you can set ground rules, it’s essential to know for sure what a break is in your relationship. Common information about relationship breaks comes from TV shows and isn’t entirely accurate. A relationship break means different things to everyone, but it’s essential to point out that a break is temporary.

The difference between a break and a breakup is that a break means taking time apart from each other. You’re still technically in a relationship while you figure out the next step during a break. However, a breakup is permanent and means you’re no longer in a romantic relationship.

Since a break means something different to everyone, the only way to know what your break means is to ask. Ask your partner what they mean when they say you’re on a break so that you can be on the same page. If you’re willing to try a relationship break after hearing what it means to your partner, then it’s time to set the ground rules.

Even when someone says they want a break, it can become a permanent breakup. Taking a break allows you and your partner to reassess the relationship to see if it’s right for them. The time away might help them recognize that they want something different for their life.

Additionally, some people say they want to take a break even when they already know they want to break up. They assume downplaying the situation will make it easier on both of you, although that isn’t the case. This problem is another reason you must set the terms right from the start.

However, some people mean it when they say they want a break. They might need time to reflect on the relationship or spend time with friends and family. If your relationship lacks balance, they might need time away to feel like an individual again.

When a Break Might Be Necessary

Relationship experts say that you should consider a break if you feel like you’ve lost touch with yourself. If you have stopped following your dreams or spending time with people you love, you might need some distance. Likewise, if you no longer participate in things that you once enjoyed, a break might be best for you.

Another time you should consider a break is when you don’t know what you want. If you feel confused about your relationship and aren’t sure it’s right for you, a break can help you figure it out. Sometimes this confusion stems from outside factors like work, school, family, or long-distance relationships.

If you still have feelings for your partner but feel confused, a break is typically a better option than a breakup. Once the issue gets resolved, you can have a clear mind to think about the next step. Only opt for a break if you are willing to continue the relationship and do your part.

If there is no compatibility, or you know the relationship should end, be honest and go for a permanent breakup instead. Don’t drag someone else along if you aren’t willing to prioritize making things work when you resolve your issues. Plus, if you know you can’t overcome the problems in your relationship, you should start the healing process right away.

Ground rules are essential so that you don’t feel disrespected or blindsided during the time apart. The rules should be clear so you and your partner can’t claim ignorance later. This process is the only way to make the break work and ensure it doesn’t cause more problems.

How to Set the Ground Rules for Your Relationship Break

Try these tips to agree upon guidelines for the time you spend apart from each other.

1 – Set a Timeframe for the Length of Your Break

When setting your ground rules, the first thing you’ll want to clarify is that it is temporary. Ask your partner if they are implying a permanent breakup or a break. Ask how much time they want to take apart.

Finding yourself and discovering who you are can take some time. If you or your partner hasn’t decided what they want after the pre-determined timeframe, you can then discuss where to go from there.

You might decide to extend the break, or you can make the breakup permanent. Without a timeframe, it could continue dragging on indefinitely, leaving one of you unhappy. However, a timeframe ensures that the discussion is inevitable either way, allowing the healing process to begin.

2 – Discuss Whether You Should Communicate

Another thing to ask about is whether you should still call or text each other. Many breaks mean no contact for a set amount of time, but all situations are different. Define expectations and boundaries clearly and early on so that you both know what will happen.

3 – Avoid Using Indirect Language

When the two of you set the ground rules, don’t let your partner use indirect language. Ambiguity will only confuse you more and offers no definitive answers and limits.

4 – Talk About the Reasoning for Taking a Break

The ground rules that you set will depend on the reason for the break in the first place. Talk about the specific issues so that everyone knows what to work on. You’re more likely to rekindle your relationship after a break if you have this discussion.

The reason might be apparent, but other times it’ll take some reflection. Figure out what both of you think the relationship lacks or why you think it might not work long-term.

5 – Discuss Whether You Will See Other People

You’ll want to establish the rules for seeing other people, too. Some people assume a break means you’re still together and won’t see anyone else. However, other people think that a break means it’s fair to get out there and see other people.

Establish if and when it is okay to spend time romantically with anyone else. This limit is one of the most important ones to set. If the boundaries aren’t clear, it could worsen or end the relationship entirely.

6 – Figure Out the Living Arrangement

If you live with your partner, you’ll also want to discuss the living arrangement. One of you may need to stay somewhere else until the break is over because it’ll be useless if you still see each other every day. You’ll both need your space to overcome the relationship troubles.

7 – Stay Calm and Be Respectful

As you set the ground rules, make sure to stay calm and think logically. Your partner might say things you don’t love, but losing your temper won’t help. However, if you aren’t comfortable with the terms or feel disrespected, it’s okay to end things yourself.

8 – Discuss Taking a Break from Your Partner in Person

You can read your partner’s body language when discussing things in person. You’ll have a better chance of figuring out if they still have feelings for you and whether your relationship is salvageable. Plus, there won’t be as many misunderstandings if you talk in person rather than on a phone call or a text.

9 – Stick to the Rules and Make the Most of Your Time Apart

When you have feelings for someone, it’s hard to stop communicating with them. However, you must stick to the ground rules and see it through for the break to work. Spend your time reflecting and bettering yourself and your life because that’s all you can control.

Use the time apart to reconnect with your friends and loved ones. Pick up a new hobby or revisit ones you haven’t done in a while. When you use the break as an opportunity to improve your life, you’ll know whether you want to continue the relationship or not.

Final Thoughts on Relationship Break or Breakup? How to Set the Ground Rules

Remember that a relationship break is about connecting with yourself and bettering who you are. It involves doing the necessary work to make your relationship work, too. However, you can only take those steps if you have ground rules in place.

Relationship problems are never ideal, but a break or breakup can be hard to handle. Make sure you’re both clear on the situation and set some ground rules to make it work.

Thirsty All the Time? Here Are 10 Reasons Why

January 15, 2022 by Chris Butler

You know that drinking plenty of water is essential to life and optimal health. Fortunately, your body has an internal cue that will alert you when you’re thirsty. But what do you do if your urge to drink is going overboard?

When you enjoy a cool, refreshing glass of water, you’re doing your body a favor. An article published by the United States Geological Survey claims that your body is at least 60 percent water. Water lubricates your body, flushes away toxins, and builds cells in your blood, among its many benefits.

Your body creates the sensation of thirst when your fluid levels are low. An article published by Wonderopolis states that most people could only survive three to five days without water. Just thinking about that statistic can cause thirstiness.

Why Are You So Thirsty?

Did you know that by the time you feel the urge to guzzle some water, you’re probably already dehydrated? This condition may be subtle, but it can have serious health consequences. You’re especially vulnerable during hot weather when you sweat a lot, so it’s essential to recognize these signs:

•Extreme thirst

•Dry, pale skin

•Dry, sticky tongue and mouth

•Minimal urine output

•Dark, foul-smelling urine

In extreme cases:

•Rapid pulse and respiration

•Reduced urine output

•Fatigue

•Headache

•Nausea

•Fainting

Unless you have medical restrictions to the contrary, feel free to have a glass of water at the first sign of thirst. What if you down one glass of water after another and still crave more? Are you dehydrated, or could there be another explanation?

First, humans are highly suggestive, and just seeing or thinking about refreshing water boosts your thirst. If you eat a lot of salty food, the sodium can cause an imbalance of body fluid, and you must have more to drink. Now, you know why so many bars offer free peanuts, pretzels, or popcorn.

Another fascinating fact about thirst is that your body may mistake it for hunger. According to an article published by the PDK Foundation, at least 37 percent of people may be eating when they should be drinking. According to the report, many people with kidney disease often have a weak thirst signal.

You get the fluid intake you need from drinking pure water. Some sources you find may vary a bit as to how much water you need to drink each day to be healthy. An article published by the Mayo Clinic recommends at least 11.5 cups a day for women and at least 15.5 cups for men.

Some of your water intake needs are provided by water-based beverages. You even get a certain amount of water from the juicy veggies and fruit you eat. However, your body still needs more hydration for your best health.

Ten Reasons Why You’re Thirsty All the Time

What if you drink your daily recommendation of water, eat plenty of plant-based foods, and still can’t quench your thirst? Is it something physical or psychological? Here are the top 10 reasons you may crave more to drink.

1. Dry Mouth

It’s normal when you awaken in the morning, and you feel like you have a mouth full of dry cotton. You want to get a cold drink of water and then brush your teeth to banish that dreadful morning breath. However, if these symptoms persist and you’re parched throughout the day, you could have chronic dry mouth.

Xerostomia, or dry mouth, is a condition where you don’t produce enough saliva. The membranes in your mouth and throat lose moisture and feel dry and scratchy. A dry mouth often makes you feel thirsty and may cause bad breath and swallowing issues.

2. Type 1 or 2 Diabetes May Cause You to Feel Thirsty

If you’ve been diagnosed with Diabetes Type 1 or 2, it poses potential risks to your body, especially your kidneys. According to an article published by the Mayo Clinic, your kidneys are forced to work overtime when your blood sugar is high. You’ll experience frequent urination, which will cause you to be thirsty all the time.

Both are classic symptoms of either type of diabetes. Each sign reacts to the other until you are constantly drinking and going to the bathroom. If you have these frustrating symptoms, consider being checked for diabetes.

3. You’re Eating Diuretic Foods

Did you know that many healthy foods may reduce your body’s fluid levels and make you thirsty? This characteristic is called a diuretic, which can make you urinate more frequently. While that’s good if you retain excess fluid, you will also feel the urge to drink more water.

Common diuretic foods include many fruits like apples, berries, and lemons. Also, you may get a fluid reduction effect from veggies like celery, beets, tomatoes, and avocados. However, consuming a balanced diet rich in fiber can keep excessive urination and thirst in check.

4. Chronic Stress

The human survival instinct evolved in response to life-threatening stressors. As soon as your brain perceives danger, it sends an immediate stress alert to your body. Your endocrine system pumps adrenaline and cortisol into your bloodstream to give you the extra strength and agility to run, fight, faint, or freeze.

This lifesaving process was only meant for emergencies, not as a constant. Battling chronic stress keeps this instinct on autopilot and can exhaust your body, including your kidneys. Since you urinate more, your stressed body will constantly tell you that you’re thirsty.

5. You Might Be Thirsty Due to Your Menstrual Cycle

As a woman, you may dread your monthly visitor because of all the frustrating symptoms, especially if you have PMS. The rising levels of estrogen and progesterone can alter your fluid levels until you may be bloated one day and chugging water the next. Add that to the blood loss you’re experiencing, and you have a perfect storm of dehydration and thirstiness.

6. Thyroid Issues

Another essential endocrine organ that can influence your fluid levels is your thyroid. It’s shaped like a butterfly, and it’s right behind your voice box. Hormones from your thyroid also help maintain body temperature, appetite, and energy levels.

You may be thirsty more often if you have thyroid disorders. An article published by the American Thyroid Association states that at least 20 million Americans have thyroid disease. According to the report, women are five to eight times more likely to be in that number than men.

So, if you have thyroid issues, you’ll often have symptoms like dry mouth, overheating, and heavy blood loss during your periods. It’s not unusual for people with thyroid conditions to also have diabetes or kidney disease. All these can cause you to be dehydrated and drink more fluid.

7. Excessive Blood Loss

Did you know that your blood is made up mostly of water? It’s one of the many reasons you need to drink water to live. Your body uses some of the hydration you consume to maintain healthy blood and help replace it during an excessive loss.

If you lose a lot of blood, your body will crave more water. Women are particularly prone to this symptom because of having menstrual cycles. However, traumatic injuries, surgery, anemia, and bleeding ulcers can also contribute to more bleeding and a tremendous urge to drink.

8. Diabetes Insipidus

An article published by the Cleveland Clinic describes this rare disease as the inability to maintain proper fluid levels in your body. The marked difference between insipidus and other types of diabetes is constant urination, says the article. If you have diabetes insipidus, you will crave more water to make up for so much fluid you lose during frequent trips to the bathroom.

9. You’re Pregnant May Cause You to Be Thirsty

Conventional wisdom says that expectant mothers crave more food because they are “eating for two.” If you’re pregnant, you also need more water, recommends an article published by the Journal of Perinatal Education. Extra water intake is necessary to support fetal circulation, amniotic fluid, and higher blood volume.

Pregnancy is also notorious for causing your kidneys to work harder, so you have more frequent urination. Are you also experiencing morning sickness and vomiting? It can rapidly deplete your fluids, and you’ll be thirsty more often.

10. Low-Carb Dieting

According to the 13th Annual Food and Health Survey published by Food Insight, at least 16 percent of American dieters follow some low-carb diet. These routines minimize carbohydrate consumption while increasing protein and heart-healthy fats. They also encourage you to drink plenty of water to flush toxins from your body.

Your body requires a certain amount of carbs for good health. They are packed in sugars, starches, and fiber. Although fiber is indigestible, it provides roughage for proper digestion and absorbs more water than fat and protein. By lowering your carbs, you’ll retain less fluid and probably be thirstier.

Final Thoughts on Understanding Why You Might Be Thirsty

If you only drink when you crave water, you still may not be getting enough fluid intake. However, you can have certain medical conditions that give you chronic thirst. These reasons may be the answers you need to the problem of always wanting a drink.

10 Red Flags Someone Is Mentally Exhausted (and What Caused It)

January 14, 2022 by Chris Butler

Did you know that it’s possible to feel emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted and not even realize it? Things aren’t always so cut and dry, and you can easily mistake one pain for another. For instance, you may believe the chronic headaches come from bad pillows or a poor sleeping position.

That might be true. However, the pain can also stem from high cortisol levels due to a poor mental state. You’re tired all the time to the point where all you can do is get up for work and come home and crash. You think this is part of the everyday grind, but it might also come from a mentally and physically exhausted mind and body.

The key is to understand the signals your body gives you, no matter how much they mimic other things.

Stress: The Common Culprit That Causes Mental Exhaustion

Life is so full of stress that it’s not only overwhelming but also exhausting. It’s effortless to become fatigued, and you may cope by sleeping more.

Many people wake in the morning feeling as if they haven’t slept a wink, but they’ve been in bed for more than what’s needed to feel refreshed. Do you contemplate how much you want your life to change for the better, but sadly, things keep getting worse? You have a difficult marriage, or your family/work balance is out of whack, or you may have health issues that run you down.

All these things can cause you to experience exhaustion, which will lead to overwhelming fatigue.

Ten Signs Someone is Mentally Exhausted

Do you feel burnout? It’s a state where the exhaustion you feel in your mind and body is caused you excessive stress. You might feel worn-out, tired, and so overwhelmed you’re not getting anything accomplished.

Some folks describe it as a feeling of being stuck, and you may feel like your life is leading you rather than you directing your life. These times of extreme exhaustion can affect your relationships and career. Additionally, your quality of living diminishes as your mind feels overwhelmed, but you can do something to combat these horrible feelings.

You must identify the red flags of exhaustion, so you can take steps to prevent severe mental or physical issues. Here are some of the critical signs that you’re mentally exhausted.

1. A Mentally Exhausted Person Is Easily Agitated and Irritable

Do you find that you get annoyed by the smallest of things as your fuse is short these days? Many people who are exhausted emotionally will feel constantly agitated and irritable. You’re continually pointing out the negative things around you rather than looking at the positive.

If you find that you’re losing your temper over the smallest of things, then it’s a red flag that your mental state is not good. You’re becoming overly sensitive to the negativity that’s all around you, and it’s making you think and feel in ways that are unhealthy.

2. Detached from Everyone and Everything

You’ll go through a stage in your mental exhaustion where you feel like nothing phases you anymore, and you’re numb. The detachment you feel will be from everyone and everything, so it’s not easy to pinpoint an exact cause.

Emotions often take a backseat because you’ve become so immune to the numbness you feel that you can’t cry anymore or have much of a reaction. Eventually, you’ll begin to isolate yourself from the world.

3. A Mentally Exhausted Person May Lack Motivation

Your motivation to do things is one of the first things to go when you’re mentally exhausted. You may have lost faith in life itself, or you don’t have any energy to get up and clean the house. Doing everyday chores like taking a shower may seem like an arduous task.

If you’re finding that you’re constantly struggling to have the necessary motivation to get things done, it’s a sign that you’re becoming emotionally exhausted.

4. Having Issues with Panic and Anxiety

What happens to a car when it runs hot? Eventually, the engine will lock up or seize from the strain of the heat. The same things happen to you when you’re under pressure for way too long.

You can start to experience things like anxiety or panic attacks. When you’re overly irritated anyway, you may find that panic becomes a part of your life. Anxiety occurs when you constantly worry over everything, and you’re already at a state where your mind and body are beyond exhausted.

According to the National Library of Health, it’s imperative to seek help for anxiety-related issues as they can morph into phobias and other more severe conditions. Anxiety is a highly treatable condition, as the most beneficial method, according to the article, is CBT therapy.

5. A Mentally Exhausted Person Might Cry Often and Become Emotional

Since you’re already exhausted, your emotions will kick into overdrive. It’s often the case that people will cry a lot and over the silliest reasons. However, you will get to a point where your tears will dry as you become numb inside.

6. Always Tired

The exhaustion that comes from working the 9-5 and the kind that comes from mental fatigue are two diverse types. When your mind is tired, you feel mentally exhausted from the inside. Additionally, no amount of coffee or rest will fix this unpleasant feeling.

Your body has used all its resources for energy, and you’ve hit a low place that you can’t get out of. This is a warning sign that you’re entering a dangerous phase in your stress, and something must be done to rectify the situation.

7. Sleep Schedule Is Erratic

The mentally exhausted folks find that their sleep schedule becomes erratic. One night, you may sleep for 12 hours and not feel like you’ve slept a wink. However, there will be other nights when you stare at the ceiling and barely get two hours of shut-eye.

According to an article posted on Baylor College of Medicine sleep expert Dr. Annise Wilson, they often deal with overly stressed people and have insomnia. They can’t turn their minds off long enough to sleep. They lie awake for hours, ruminating about all the things that are beyond their control.

8. Lethargy, Dizziness, and Nausea Most Days

When you’re exhausted and your body urges you to rest, it’s common to feel nauseous, lethargic, and dizzy. When you’re going through a mental and emotional breakdown, you feel the need to sleep.

The only problem is that sleep isn’t helping.

It’s going to take more than a weekend of catching up on your rest to make you feel better. You need to get to the source of the problem and not use rest as a coping mechanism.

9. Avoid Responsibilities Deliberately

To the outside world, you’re avoiding your responsibilities. However, the actual problem is that your energy levels are so low that you can’t even think about doing one thing. Sometimes, it’s a struggle to keep up with your job.

It’s often the case that people at this level of desperation will avoid personal hygiene. When you start skipping showers, avoiding laundry, and not taking care of your body, it’s another sign of mental exhaustion. According to Mental Help, it’s pretty standard that people under mental distress have poor hygiene, and it doesn’t mean that you’re a dirty person.

You’re just in such a wrong place in your life that making it to the shower seems like the journey of a million miles. However, it does get better!

10. A Mentally Exhausted Person Is Never on Time for Anything

Now, some people are chronically late, and this is their routine as they’ve always been this way. However, mentally exhausted folks will find that they can’t be on time for anything. Being punctual is not high on the list, and you feel like you don’t have enough time to get anything done, let alone be on time.

Final Thoughts on Identifying Somone Who Is Mentally Exhausted

The good news is that your mind is quite resilient. You can and will make a full recovery with a bit of effort. The most significant hurdle is that you will need to admit that you have a problem, as many people like to deny anything about mental health. Exhaustion is not something to play with, as stress can make you sick.

You can’t just admit there’s an issue, as you must also make changes to address the problem. One way to combat this common concern is to find time to relax and get away from the stress. Next, it’s helpful to reduce the sensory stimulation around you that keeps your senses on overload. Lastly, it would help if you prioritized the things you must handle in your life.

Not everything goes at the top of the list as urgent, and you must organize your daily tasks by order of importance. It’s often the case that people get mentally exhausted because they’re doing so many things that have little significance. If you want to recover, you learn to let go of the things that are not important, as they’re likely the cause of much of your angst.

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