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15 Signs Someone Is a Master of Mental Manipulation

December 31, 2021 by Chris Butler

Have you ever been in a relationship that was a virtual carnival of mind games? People in healthy relationships are considerate of one another and don’t need to resort to mental manipulation or other abuse.

Mental manipulation may be subtle, but it’s still psychologically harmful and unacceptable.

Fifteen Signs of Mental Manipulation

Just because you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you’ve lost your individuality. You remain an individual with the right to think and believe as you wish. Although compromise is sometimes necessary, it shouldn’t be at the expense of losing your identity.

Is there a person in your life who constantly plays manipulative games to control you? Perhaps the abuse has been so subtle and has continued so long that you don’t recognize it. Here are 15 signs that someone is an expert in mental manipulation and they’re hurting you.

1. They Set You Up First

Expert manipulators may seem courteous when they ask you to offer your opinions. They’ll even engage in active listening and cling to every comment. It’s their chance to decipher your strengths and weaknesses silently.

After they’ve heard your side, they may often twist your words to confuse you. These toxic people try to get your opinions out of the way first so they can establish control. It’s a common ploy of mental manipulation that can catch you unaware.

2. A Master of Mental Manipulation Prefers to Play on Their Turf

Have you ever heard of the “home court advantage” in sports? It’s a boost of confidence you get when surrounded by the familiar. The other team is more apt to feel intimidated when playing on your field.

Likewise, manipulative people prefer to control discussions in their court. A manipulator will use their office or desk to symbolize power in a professional relationship. They assume you’ll be less likely to disagree with them when you are in their most comfortable space.

They call the shots and say where and when things will be done. Not only do you have to be on their field, but you must play by their rules. It’s an unfair advantage meant to stifle your opinions or objections.

3. They Smother with Statistics

Who likes to have conversations with a know-it-all? They aim to shut you down and make you look ignorant with their flood of facts. Even though they can spout misinformation or blatant lies, they use this mental manipulation to control others.

Such toxic behavior is called intellectual bullying, explains an article published by Exploring Your Mind. These people are often knowledgeable and use their education and achievements to establish superiority. Instead of using knowledge as a beneficial tool, they use it as a hatchet to insult and humiliate others.

4. Masters of Mental Manipulation Distort the Truth

Another ploy of mental manipulation is twisting the facts in a personal or professional relationship. It’s not that the controlling person has forgotten the truth or is confused. They intentionally put a little spin on facts, so you doubt them.

You’ve probably heard that whole lies are just as dangerous as a half-truth. Perhaps you won’t fall for something false. However, your manipulative person can add a few grains of truth to confuse you into siding with them.

5. They Engage in Mental Manipulation with Rules and Regulations

Office hierarchies are notorious for controlling others with red tape. They smother you with mounds of memos, emails, and handbooks that are often vague and contradicting. When you think you understand a new set of rules, another set overrides them.

While rules are necessary for running efficiently, some managers use them for mental manipulation. You may not know your rights and responsibilities if you’re so swamped in a whirlwind of paperwork and policy changes. It would be easier for them to take advantage of you and get by with it.

On a personal level, some manipulative partners may use the same tactic to confuse your boundaries. They will distort the facts and declare you agreed to things you didn’t. Or they will constantly change their opinions, so you never know where you stand.

6. They Use Surprise to Their Advantage

The master manipulator likes to catch you off guard, as it’s to their advantage when you’re surprised. Much of what they do is hidden or kept from you, but there are a few things they will let slip. Just remember they are using another tactic that’s for their benefit, not yours.

7. They Use Negative Humor

A good sense of humor is one of the most positive traits in a healthy relationship. A little fun can ease tensions and bring a few welcomed laughs. Good-natured teasing and light inside jokes are an ideal bonding for people.

However, beware of the toxic mate, friend, or coworker who uses humor as a weapon. They think that you won’t mind if they insult you with a smile. These snide remarks are often followed by “just kidding.”

When you fail to be amused by their cruelty, they’ll often make you look like a prude who can’t take a joke. Another poisonous dart in their arsenal is backhanded compliments. For example: “That’s a beautiful outfit you’re wearing! My mother has one just like it.”

8. They Pressure You as Part of the Mental Manipulation

Many crucial decisions require time and careful consideration. If your person at home or work values you, they’ll understand. Although some actions are time-sensitive, you usually know in advance.

Manipulative people are often impatient and will push you to decide or act. Meanwhile, they disconcert you with their thoughts and opinions. Their goal is for you to make a hasty decision to their advantage.

9. Their Emotional Responses Are Overbearing

Some toxic people in your circle may get aggressive with their mental manipulation. They may raise their voice, exaggerate their body language, or become emotionally over the top. It’s often a ruse that’s intended to coerce you to do what they want so that they’ll be quiet.

10. They Stop Talking

Sometimes, an expert manipulator will shut down the conversation with silence. They won’t respond to your questions or opinions in person or in another form of communication. It’s a classic stonewalling tactic to remind you that they’re in control, and nothing happens until they say so.

11. They Constantly Criticize You

A person who loves and respects you seeks to build your esteem, not destroy it. Even when they offer constructive criticism, it’s done kindly and with your best interests at heart. If they say something offensive in the heat of an argument, they’re usually the first to apologize.

Chronic criticism is a red flag for mental manipulation. These types of personalities will badger, degrade, and criticize anything you say or do. If you continue to listen to their poisonous comments, you’ll start to doubt yourself.

12. The Shift the Blame to You and Others

Manipulative people often have narcissistic personalities and view themselves as superior to others. If anything goes wrong in their lives, it’s always somebody else’s fault. In a toxic relationship, they will shift the blame to you to make themselves look better.

According to an article published by PlosOne, blame-shifting is a way for toxic people to assert control. It’s often done in the guise of an apology, but it’s quickly turned around on you. For example: “I’m sorry I lost my temper and said those horrible things, but if you didn’t press all my buttons, this would never happen.”

13. They Play the Martyr

A manipulative person in your life may play on your sympathies. They’ll often exaggerate any problems or challenges to make you feel guilty. You’re always the big bad wolf, and they’re the innocent lamb.

The martyr depends on using guilt trips, so you’ll do what they want.

You’re a good person and don’t want to hurt them. The whole time it’s you who is being hurt, not them.

14. They Pretend to be Ignorant

“Oh, did what I said the other day hurt you? I’m sorry, I had no idea you were so sensitive.” Faked ignorance is manipulation that’s often connected to twisted apologies. Their façade of innocence is a stall tactic that makes you uncomfortable and gives in to their control.

It’s also a devious ploy to cover any of their mistakes or shortcomings. They’ll say they don’t understand, and you weren’t clear about your feelings. They know what they’re doing, and their ignorance is manipulative, not bliss.

15. They Make It All About Them

A narcissistic partner, friend, or family member may be deluded that they’re superior to you, but they still want you in their lives. You’re the subject for their blame-shifting, and you’ll be the captive audience for their haughty boasts.

No matter what you’ve seen or done, they’ve done better. They can magically turn the conversation back to them regardless of the topic. These people manipulate you for constant validation, and they don’t have time for your thoughts or needs.

Final Thoughts on Mental Manipulation

Whether it’s physical, verbal, or emotional, manipulation is abuse. A person who uses words and actions to cause mental anguish is toxic, and you deserve better. Reclaim control in your life and make your exit with your head held high.

Saying No Is a Type of Self-Care, According to Psychologists

December 31, 2021 by Kristen Butler

Do you have a problem saying no to others? Maybe you didn’t realize that this was an issue, but it’s essential to identify. Self-care is an integral part of keeping yourself mentally and physically healthy, yet few dare to stand up for themselves when asked to do something that puts them out.

Assume you work a forty-hour week job, have three children and a spouse, and have the kids in extracurricular activities. You’re always on the road, and moments to yourself are precious and few. Now, your mother calls and asks if you can take her to the doctor at 11 am tomorrow, which means you must call off work.

You want to help your mom, as she is your parent, but it will cause significant issues. See, your mom doesn’t know that you won’t get paid if you call off again, as you’ve used all your time. Additionally, you will receive a write-up for an unexcused absence without a doctor’s excuse.

Even though it’s costing you dearly, you say you will take her. Why didn’t she call your other sibling, who works from home, and doesn’t have such a hectic schedule? No, she chooses you, and now it’s going to put your job in jeopardy.

Why didn’t you say no? Some reasons can include these feelings:

You don’t know how
You’re afraid of disappointing her
You feel guilt for all she does for you
You haven’t been spending much time with her because of your schedule.

Do You Suffer from a Lack of Setting Boundaries?

According to Psychology Today, one of the main reasons people have trouble saying no is that they lack limits. Some people have no issue standing up for themselves, as refusing a task feels liberating. What about those who fear they will disappoint or hurt someone they care about deeply?

If you’re one of the people who feel intimidated or uncomfortable telling others no, then you need to establish boundaries. When you don’t have borders to protect you, you jeopardize your health and wellbeing. Consider a limit you set with your spouse that no friends or family can come to your home unannounced.

What do you do if your sister shows up at your door without calling first? You don’t answer as she’s violated a rule you’ve made to keep the peace. While this may be hard for you, she knows that you like to run around in a t-shirt or pajamas, making you uncomfortable.

Additionally, if she knows your preferences and still defies a boundary you set, then the outcome shouldn’t be a surprise. You’re not saying no to visitors, but you’re saying that everyone must call to allow you time to make the house and yourself presentable.

Now keep in mind that limitations need to be flexible at times, such as if she drove six hours to get there and her hotel room wasn’t ready. However, you’re setting such limits because you’re protecting yourself, which is the best kind of self-love where you know your limitations.

Consider This Example of Saying No in Action

You’ve worked overtime for the past month, and you’re so exhausted you feel like you could sleep for a week. The manager called on you to work over again, but you’re frustrated as you know there are people in your department who haven’t worked one extra shift.

You want to be a team player, and you want to be an employee that your boss can depend on, but you’re exhausted. You already had plans for this weekend, and part of it involved resting. This is an instance where you must choose yourself over your boss’s extra money and guilt.

Let management know that you can’t keep working these hours, and others can take their turn. To help matters, tell them that you will be willing to work over one weekend a month, but you can’t do anything more than this maximum. By setting a firm boundary, you’re letting them know your limits.

Saying no becomes easier when you have these restrictions in place, as someone already knows your limitations and shouldn’t cross them. If you let people walk all over the guidelines you’ve set, then there’s no sense in having them. These little self-rules allow you to know your limits and not let anyone else push you around.

Saying No with Tact

Do you know how to say no to people? Why is this two-letter word so brutal? Some people get so overwhelmed by this simple word that they will develop anxiety or panic attacks.

There’s no need to be all worked up when you’re standing up for yourself. It would help if you found a way to say no that feels natural to you, and you can do it with kindness. One trick many utilize is to use positive comments and then stick that negative one somewhere in the middle.

For instance, your in-laws want you to spend Christmas day at their house, but you always spend Christmas eve with them and Christmas day with your parents. You get a call from your father-in-law, who wants to confirm the change. You feel guilt, anger and don’t want to make changes that affect more than just your in-laws.

So, you start by telling your father-in-law how much you enjoy spending the holidays at their house each year, and then you tell them that you will need to continue to do it as planned on Christmas day. By using something positive before the negative, you have a better chance of not offending him. Saying no to someone doesn’t have to be something huge that you need to think long and hard over.

Remember, your self-care and mental wellbeing come first. Don’t let people walk all over you and change your plans when it’s an inconvenience. You need to take care of yourself, as no one else will put as much effort into your mental wellbeing as you.

Self-Care Aspects You Must Consider

You need to understand why it’s so important to tell someone no. The Parent Teacher’s Association called and asked if you could make all the food for the next meeting. You did it last year when you were out of a job, so it wasn’t such a big deal to put in the extra time.

However, you’re working now, and you can’t take on such a monumental task. When you tell the PTA director no, you’re saying that you’re not going to take what little time you have away from yourself and your family. This is time that you can schedule something else to do, like read a good book, play a game with your children, or go on a date with your spouse.

When you already feel stretched too thin and exhausted, adding anything else to your plate is a recipe for disaster. So, it would help if you cared enough about yourself to ease your burden. You know that cooking day and night for two days is going to cause your stress levels to boil over, not to mention hurt your family budget.

This is where you learn that it’s all about taking care of yourself and saying no. Just releasing some stress from your plate can improve your mental health.

Letting Your Inner Confidence Shine

Pamela Mendelsohn is a psychotherapist at My Therapy NYC. She talks about why the word no should be an active part of your vocabulary in the article. When you say no to one thing, she states it’s because you’re saying yes to something else. For instance, if you say no to working overtime, you’re saying yes to caring for your needs or family time.

She also states that you’re cultivating healthy relationships when you learn the power of the word no. Who wants friends that you can’t be honest with? It would be best if you spoke your mind and did not worry about others being offended. Additionally, you need to make sure that you prioritize your feelings as they’re essential.

Consider the doormat in front of your door at home. How many times has it been walked on, trampled over, and kicked as people come into your house? Soon, the mat wears out because of the abuse it suffers, and you must replace it.

If you allow people to walk on you, throw their dirt on you, and kick you all around, you’re not going to be in-tact mentally or physically for long. People can only take so much, and then they break. So, saying no is just a way for you to take control of your life.

Final Thoughts on Saying No

There’s no easy way to tell people no. Even if you try to sugar coat it with some positivity, it’s eventually coming down to the cold, hard facts. Instead, practice rejecting little things, like telling the door-to-door salesperson no. As you become more confident in using this word, you can work up to the more significant matters.

Once you learn how to establish limits and guidelines for yourself, it’s much easier to put people back in their place when they step out of line. If you’re tired of having things piled on you, being walked over, and not having time or respect for your personal space, it’s time to start learning the power of saying no.

10 Good Reasons Never to Give Up on Yourself (and 10 Confidence Tips)

December 31, 2021 by Kristen Butler

Have you ever given your best effort, 110 percent, and still fell flat on your face? It’s not an uncommon problem, as people fail every day. The key is that you can’t let yourself stay down for too long, as you must get up and fight again.

Life isn’t always fair, and sometimes it’s challenging, but you can and will do anything you set your mind to accomplish. Your mindset means everything. If you believe you will fail, then you will not succeed. Stop looking at yourself as a failure and start visualizing a winner.

Do you know that you’re unique, and there’s no one else on this entire planet that’s as special as you? Sure, you have some flaws and little quirks, but these things add to the interesting characteristics that you received from the Universe. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve messed up, failed, or been at rock bottom, just as long as you get back up and try again.

Ten Good Reasons Never to Give Up on Yourself

There will be times when you go through storms in your life, and you’ll want to throw in the towel. However, you’re so much braver than you give yourself credit for, but it all starts with a positive mindset. Here are ten reasons you should never give up.

1. Practice Makes Perfect, So Don’t Give Up

If you feel like giving up on yourself, you should know that practice makes perfect. Do you think that Michael Jordan became the basketball success he did overnight? No, in fact, according to an article on 2 Know Myself, Jordan was so bad in college he was told he would never play.

In total, he lost over 300 games and missed more than 9,000 shots, but he didn’t quit. He kept practicing no matter what the naysayers yelled, and he showed them all. You can do it too!

2. You Can Use Your Success to Change the World

People around you like to gossip when someone falls and note their failures, but they also want to talk about winning ones. You can use your influence to change the world. You have more than just yourself to consider, as your children and others are watching.

3. Stop Quitting Your Dreams as Anything Is Possible

If you’re ready to wave the white flag of surrender, hold off! Did you know that anything is possible if you believe? If you think your life is hard, consider Nick Vujicic. The Australian man was born without arms or legs, yet he still learned how to drive a car, according to The Daily Mail.

He had such a strong will that he overcame a gigantic obstacle in his way. Now, what can you do with the right mindset?

4. It’s Not the Time to Play It Shy and Invisible

Why is it that when people feel down and out, they want to retreat into a hiding space? Now is not the time for you to hide your gifts from the world, but it’s time for you to get out there and put your best foot forward.

5. You Deserve Happiness and Success Too Much to Give Up So Easily

Some people don’t try hard because they feel worthy of anything. Who cares about your past and the mistakes you’ve made? You can and will do anything you set your mind to do. However, it would help if you believed that you deserve the things you want as it helps your drive.

6. Difficult Doesn’t Mean Impossible

You need to know the difference between the words complicated and impossible. When something is difficult, it means it’s a challenge. However, when something is impossible, it means it cannot be done. Your situation is likely a challenge, but it’s not impossible, so stop telling yourself that you can’t do it!

7. You’re Close to a Huge Breakthrough; You Won’t Receive It If You Give Up

Do you know that many people give up right when they’re about to have a significant breakthrough? According to research posted on Sundried, more than 43 percent of people give up after only a month of trying. Many times, the thing you want so bad is right in front of you, and you give up too soon.

8. Get a New Circle of People

If your friends aren’t encouraging you to be and do better, get new friends. Your inner circle is the best motivator you have, so you need to make sure these folks are rooting you on to victory.

9. Be a Living Inspiration by Showing That You Don’t Give Up

What if the very thing you succeed in helps someone else in their struggle? Many of the powerful motivational stories or Ted Talks help others overcome. These folks on these talks show the determination of the human spirit and help others who are experiencing similar battles.

10. You’re as Strong as the Mighty Oak Tree

You’ve probably heard about the strength of the oak tree, but do you know why they say such things? Scientists have found that these trees can withstand winds of 90 mpg without phasing them. Even if it loses every leaf, it still can be healthy and withstand tornados and hurricanes.

According to The Oaks at Sacred Rocks, they can grow up to 80 feet tall, and their root system goes 3-7 times larger than the most extensive branch. The expansive roots give them strength and durability, so be like the oak. No matter what storms come your way, stand firm and tall.

Ten Self-confidence Tips

Now that you know why you shouldn’t give up on yourself, here are some self-confidence tips to give you a boost.

1. Stop Caring About the Thoughts of Others

Your opinion of you is the only one that counts, so stop listening to all the naysayers.

2. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

You’re never going to accomplish great things if you never step outside your comfort zone. Change and growth can be painful experiences, but you can do the unimaginable if you just let go of your fears.

Anxiety can be crippling if you allow it to be, but you have the power to put these mental health issues in their place. Using things like mediation and herbs can make a huge difference.

3. Use Positive Self-talk to Resist the Urge to Give Up

Take a moment every day to encourage yourself by using self-talk and positive affirmations. Don’t let negative thoughts enter your mind. You can be your best if you only believe in yourself.

4. Change Your Appearance

Sometimes you need a boost, and the best way to do this is to change your hair or buy some new clothes. If you want to boost your confidence, you should pamper yourself a bit.

5. Alter Your Body Language

Your body language can be good or bad, but you need to ensure that yours is positive. Your hands can be very descriptive as you talk, so make sure you’re speaking positivity with your body too.

6. Visualize Success

Giving up on yourself is not an option, so you need to visualize success. If you want to be a CEO one day, then see yourself sitting in that corner office instructing your employees.

7. Smile Even When You’re Unhappy

Even if you’ve had the worst day, smile. When you smile, it’s catching to those around you. Smiling can make you feel better as it releases those feel-good hormones too. Plus, frowning makes you feel and look unhappy when you’re frowning.

8. Change Your State of Mind From “Give Up” to Keep Trying

Your mindset can be negative or positive, but the choice is up to you. If you want to be and do things, start altering your perspective for accomplishment. How you view things means everything.

9. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

One way to quickly destroy your confidence is by looking in the windows of others’ homes. You have no clue what goes on inside there, so don’t compare yourself with them or their possessions. Sometimes the beautiful mansion that looks so perfect on the outside is full of unhappiness and problems.

Yet, a home that’s run down and on the poorer side of town might have more love and joy than you can imagine. Never judge a book by the cover, and never compare yourself with others.

10. Pursue Excellence, Not Perfection

You’re never going to be perfect as it’s impossible. However, you should set your sights on excellence and not perfection. If you expect yourself to be perfect, then you’re only going to fail. Just strive to be the best you can be.

Final Thoughts on Good Reasons Never to Give Up on Yourself

It’s hard to find motivational things to inspire you when you’re at rock bottom. No matter how bad things become, you can’t give up. Even if your self-confidence is at a breaking point, you must keep going.

Find something or someone to help you get up and keep fighting. You’re going to do more and be more than you ever thought possible, but it’s only going to happen when you stop the negative self-talk and start speaking life, hope, and success into your life.

8 Red Flags That Reveal a Psychopathic Personality

December 31, 2021 by Chris Butler

When it comes to dating, the word psychopath sends an icy chill down your spine. In life, there are certain people that you want to avoid, and anyone with a psychopathic personality is one of them. Why do these individuals make life so unbearable, and how do you avoid getting entangled with one?

The real issue is that it’s very challenging to recognize someone with these tendencies as they often wear a mask of charm. You don’t see the self-centered and manipulative person for who they are because you’re so captivated by their charisma. Make no mistake; this is a person who knows exactly what they’re doing, and they will stop at nothing to get their way.

You can go weeks, months, or even years without an incident, but the key is that you’ll keep the peace if you don’t challenge them. If you want them to rear their head and strike like a serpent, try defying what they’ve said or done. You will see a whole different side that you wished you hadn’t observed.

Eight Red Flags That Reveal a Psychopathic Personality

Whether you’re dating online, meeting people at a local club, or have folks in your family or at work with questionable actions, how do you know if someone has a psychopathic personality? Is there a way to protect yourself from this narcissist whose mental illness is so challenging? Here are a few red flags for you to observe.

1. Someone with a Psychopathic Personality Is Haughty

You’ve noticed that Sally seems to take credit for projects that she doesn’t deserve. She appears to be a bit of a blow-hard, and she tries to degrade anyone she views as a competitor. You’ve found that she doesn’t want to win at everything; instead, she wants to dominate the situation.

She’s a little bit destructive, and she tends to have a psychopathic personality where she manipulates a situation for her good. There’s word around the job site that she can be violent when backed into the corner, but you try to steer clear of her.

2. Superficial Emotions

The very meaning of the word superficial means “fake.” Someone with a psychopathic personality tends to engage in the present moment, but their character and charm are only skin deep. They lack any real depth, and it’s soon noticed. A heartless coldness contradicts the intensity of their emotions.

Assume you’re talking to Gretchen, a lady who seems very interested in dating you. When you’re discussing the death of a family member and dealing with the grief, she changes the topic of conversation. Her blatant disregard jars you as she blew off your feelings.

Over time, you’ve noticed that Gretchen always sucks up to the management, but her goal is only to use them to get advantages at work. She’s constantly undermining those around her, even the managers. She has one thing on her mind, and that’s making it to the top.

It’s clear this lady’s mental health is not in the best shape, and something has happened in her past to make her this way.

3. A Psychopathic Personality Always Seeking Thrills and Excitement

You’ve started dating Bud, and he seems like a great person. He’s got everything you could have ever asked for in a mate, or so it appears. The only problem is that he is often bored, and he has a strong urge to find stimulating activities.

He wouldn’t dare think about sitting home and watching movies with pizza, as it’s much too dull for him. According to Richard Lettieri, Ph.D. from Psychology Today, someone who has a tendency to be bored and the urge for stimulated behavior often experiences emotional superficiality.

They can’t make a genuine connection with others, so they seek thrills and excitement to fill this void. The real problem is this boredom can lead to risky behaviors as they can’t find enough stimulating activity to sustain them. It’s not uncommon for this person to attract others who love the “Bad boy” persona they display.

They’re not afraid to take risks, and they have no issue stooping to unscrupulous levels to get the job done. However, boredom is just one issue that comes to the surface immediately, but if you stay with Bud long-term, you will uncover a lot of psychopathic tendencies.

4. Insincere Charisma

George, the new guy at your job, appears talkative and fascinated with getting to know everyone. He seems like such a nice person, at first anyway. Almost immediately, you start to get these little pangs of doubt that he’s a bit artificial.

For example, he acts like a loving husband, but all he talks about is his wife’s looks, and you can’t help but see how he flirts with other girls at the office. His not-to-subtle innuendos make many people uncomfortable. Looking back, you realize George wants to seduce and enthrall others, and he’s not looking to form lasting friendships.

5. Untrustworthiness is a Hallmark of a Psychopathic Personality

When you can’t trust someone, it’s more about what’s on the inside than what comes out of them. Having self-esteem that’s distorted makes it impossible to bond with others. They feel a need to be superior and at the head of the class.

To secure their position on the top, this person has no problem lying, cheating, and corrupting the truth to manipulate others. Greg was a team player, or so it appeared to management. He said all the right things to the leadership, but when it came time to complete the group assignment, he preferred to let others do the heavy lifting.

He already knew the pecking order at the company, and he had dedicated much of his time socializing with the powers that be, so he knew his position was safe. The managers would likely go to others on the team for reprimand and believe Greg wasn’t at fault. This individual is very skilled at the art of manipulation.

Narcissists can be very lazy, as they know how to manipulate people to do the hard work. This is not a person you want to be tangled up with, as it could cause you massive trouble.

6. Contradictions

Isn’t it terrible when someone says one thing and does something else? Due to the skillset of the psychopathic personality, their manipulation, deception, and general challenging nature are hard to interpret. Male or female, they come across as a likable person.

One of the scariest stories of a psychopath was the infamous serial killer, Ted Bundy. His game proved to his victims that he was a kind and gentle person. He was, after all, going to school to be a lawyer. He worked hard to gain the trust of others, and then he would do unthinkable things to get rid of these people.

According to an article on Crime Museum, there were more than 30 victims that he confessed to, but the number is estimated to be so many more. While not all people with mental illness can commit crimes like Bundy, you certainly cannot be too careful.

What appears to be a well-rounded, average person may be nothing more than a wolf in sheep’s clothing. No matter what the person says or does, at some point and time, their true colors will come shining through.

7. Shady Conduct

They will do anything to get a thrill, but it doesn’t mean that they haven’t had some run-ins with the law either. Sadly, you may get trapped in a big mess before you find out what you’ve got yourself into. Some psychopaths can be malignant, but it takes a lot of time before anyone figures them out.

The psychopathic personality is missing their center or moral compass that helps guide them, so they’re not afraid to take a walk on the wild side. In another article on Psychology Today published by Richard Lettieri Ph.D., he states that the relationship between violence and mental illness is complex.

While one narcissist may be violent, others will be malicious in intent, but they’re no physical threat. It’s hard to know what a person is capable of, and you don’t want to stick around to find out.

8. No Connections

Another concern about the sociopath is that they don’t seem to have any connections. If you date this person, they won’t talk about family or friends. Most of these folks don’t form any real bonds, so they burn many bridges along the way.

Be very cautious of someone who won’t talk about their past, as everyone has one. If they seem to become uncomfortable and change the subject when you mention such topics, it’s an indication that you need to do some digging. You might find a skeleton or two in their closet.

Final Thoughts on Red Flags of a Psychopathic Personality

Your mental health is essential to protect. When dealing with someone who has a psychopathic personality, it’s better to be safe than sorry. You want to ensure that you protect yourself at all costs.

Before you befriend that new coworker or go out on a date with someone you met online, please do your best to get to know them. Ask lots of questions, observe any behaviors that seem off, and always trust your gut instincts.

6 Red Flags of Male Eating Disorder “Manorexia”

December 30, 2021 by Chris Butler

The desire to be thin has caused many people to stoop to levels they never dreamed possible, including bingeing and purging food. There are six eating disorders in all, but anorexia nervosa and bulimia are the most common. However, the mental health community is considering adding another to the mix–manorexia.

Whenever you hear of someone sick or dying from a disorder with food, it’s typically a woman. Consequently, studies prove that men are just as likely to have such an issue, but they tend to hide it better as society asserts that men must be strong. One of the most notable cases of anorexia involved singer and superstar Karen Carpenter.

She rocked the world with her impressive three-octave alto vocal range, but the need to be thin dominated her life. Sadly, she was only 32 years old when she passed. Her cause of death was heart failure due to her prolonged battle with an eating disorder. According to History, she died on February 4, 1983. The fight went on for years, but it wasn’t until she was painfully thin that the world took notice.

She isn’t the only star to come out about their struggle with an eating disorder. There’ve been others with this condition, such as Tracey Gold, Lady Gaga, Princess Diana, Candace Cameron Bure, and Mary-Kate Olsen, to name a few. An article posted on The Recovery Village mentioned these names, but they also named Elton John and Russell Brand.

These are just two of the many men who have come forward with their food disorders, but how many everyday people suffer in silence? Why do men feel like they can’t get help with these problems, and why are the statistics only now just noticing?

Why Are Men Suffering in Silence?

Movie stars and supermodels are two careers where you hear about many people who starve themselves to fit in. The fashion industry is especially plagued by such occurrences. Just this year, during Paris Fashion Week, the world noticed one of the participants.

It was a male model who was painfully thin. In fact, his presence was so shocking that word of his condition spread like wildfire. Reporters from sites like Daily Mail described him as having legs that looked like toothpicks and that his cheeks were sunken in showing his skeleton. The problem is that society views both anorexia and bulimia as conditions that women develop, not men. So, this came across as shocking news to some folks.

A study published by the Canadian Medical Association states that only ten to fifteen percent of those with these dieting disorders are male. However, some trends show that these instances are rising, and it’s time for both men and women to get equal attention for this mental health concern.

Though there’s undoubtedly a shifting demographic, finding a place to treat someone with manorexia may be complicated. Most of these recovery centers focus on women’s healing, as they see this as a “female issue.” What does a doctor do when a male presents with these food disorders?

The standard therapy doesn’t always work since how a man and woman processes stress and triggers differ. Sure, they both struggle with a sense of self, and they have some obsessive-compulsive tendencies, but some differences cannot be ignored concerning treatment.

Knowing how to treat someone with manorexia will likely require new guidelines and training. Understanding body dissatisfaction for males will be an adjustment from that of females. So, is it time for the mental health community to get on board with this growing problem?

What Psychologists Think About Manorexia?

It’s not a commonly addressed problem, so very few psychologists deal with this regularly. However, Bruce W. Cameron specializes in helping people with addictive behaviors, specifically regarding compulsions. He states that he has received a growing number of referrals for food disorders, but since his agency is not equipped to handle these specific conditions, he refers them out to other psychologists.

He’s notated a growing demand for treating men with manorexia. The real issue is that the agencies he refers to are only equipped and trained to handle women, so these people aren’t qualified to understand the male developmental struggles. So, he’s concerned that these therapists are getting an influx of clients they aren’t equipped to treat, and these professionals might also turn them away.

Even more troubling, states Cameron, is that he’s getting more males in the younger age groups. When kids are bullied by other children about their weight, they become confused about what to do. They may try dieting, but they resort to bingeing and purging when that doesn’t work.

Even though children learn healthy food guidelines in school, many don’t have such groceries. This is primarily a concern when the children come from homes below the poverty line. It’s much easier to get a $1 cheeseburger at a fast-food place than make salads and eat healthily.

Society expects a lady to have a figure with a curvy top and a plump bottom. However, culture also demands things from guys. To be considered a catch, men are required to have a chiseled six-pack and a muscular physique more so than a flabby one.

Sadly, the guidelines set by society and Hollywood are not feasible, and many people struggle to fit in. When males become overweight, they get excess tissue in the breast area and the stomach. They can be the subject of ridicule and harassment, just like girls.

While it’s more acceptable by societal standards for a guy to have a little more weight than a lady, there’s a point when they tip from chubby to overweight.

Six Red Flags That Reveal Manorexia

Having a disorder that affects your eating habits is a mental illness. It’s a belief beyond the scope of normal realms, and it can impact your life. Parents must open their eyes and watch their children for any signs of a food disorder, whether they be male or female.

The scary part is that people die from anorexia and bulimia, even if they get help. So, it’s time to take the gender-specific blinders off and see this urgent condition for the danger it is. People die from these conditions, but it depends on how long the problem has persisted and the destruction done to the organs.

Karen Carpenter had access to the best therapists and treatment programs around, but it was too late–damage done. The mental illness won in her instance.

However, the sooner you get your loved one help, the better the chances are for survival. Here are six red flags to consider about manorexia.

1. Extreme Weight Loss

According to the Health Board, anyone who loses more than two pounds per week has extreme weight loss. However, people with these disorders can lose much more than this amount.

2. Wearing Baggy Clothes to Camouflage Their Body

Look for signs of weight loss followed by a need to hide their body. If they’ve lost too much weight, they will camouflage it with clothes. They might wear a baggy hoodie in the middle of summer.

3. Yellowish Skin

The organs can become damaged after dealing with conditions like anorexia and bulimia. One of the signs of a compromised liver is yellow skin. You may also notice severe dry skin patches. That’s because they are not receiving hydration and nourishment.

4. Bingeing and Purging

Watch for signs of bingeing and purging. While they won’t do it right in front of you, they may run to the bathroom or outside after a meal. It’s also not uncommon for large amounts of food to be missing from the house, like a whole cake. You may discover them having binge sessions late at night too.

5. Intolerance of Cold

When you lose a lot of weight, you develop an intolerance to the cold. The muscles help keep the body warm, and when you lose too much weight, you can also lose muscles. Additionally, they can develop thyroid or blood pressure issues that make the cold unbearable.

6. Intense Fear of Gaining Weight

Someone with anorexia is afraid of gaining an ounce. They may skip meals, eat like a bird, or eat low-calorie items like salads. Notice any changes in eating habits, taking diet pills, or obsessing about exercise. These are all signs that someone needs help.

Final Thoughts on Manorexia

According to the National Library of Medicine, food disorders often stem from emotional problems and are brought on by disturbing thoughts and emotions. While treatable, it’s something that most keep as a guarded secret. Since more men struggle with these conditions, where do they go for help?

Males may be less apt to reach out for assistance if, when they do, no one can take them. It’s essential to recognize the signs of an issue in your kids or a loved one, but it’s also time to bring more attention to this growing problem. If people like well-known celebrities, who have money, a large fan base, and are successful can struggle, then anyone can.

15 Reasons Why Highly Intelligent People Need So Much Alone Time

December 30, 2021 by Chris Butler

Highly intelligent people represent an ideal blend of book learning, common sense, and life experience. This combination opens your mind to the beautiful curiosities of the Universe.

Your intelligent side can aptly learn facts and processes from books and other media. Plus, you gain knowledge from listening to more experienced people and following their lead. Now, it’s up to you to use wisdom to put your ability to work.

Fifteen Reasons Why Smart People Need So Much Alone Time

When you study for a test, you usually do it in a quiet space by yourself. You’re able to concentrate and focus on the material. This lone environment becomes a place of comfort and inspiration for you.

Do you do your best thinking in a solitary space? The good news is that many other intelligent people feel the same way. Here are some reasons why you might need solitude if you’re among the smart.

1. Intelligent People Value Productivity

Most intelligent folks have a stellar work ethic. They often find the most satisfaction and validation from their accomplishments. The few in their tight-knit circle probably describe them as workaholics who don’t know how to relax.

It’s not that they don’t carve out some free time. When not working, brilliant people may immerse themselves in exercise, reading, writing, and other solitary activities. Even their leisure time involves thinking of working harder and more efficiently.

2. They Often Have a Different Perspective

Intelligence is inherently linked with curiosity, and it’s the driving force behind them. They devote countless hours to reflection and observation. In doing so, they often gain a different perspective of the world than others.

They may feel more connected to themselves and the Universe when they’re alone. Plus, those who think differently become the greatest inventors and creative geniuses. Their unique perception helps them discover solutions that aren’t obvious to the average person.

3. They Use Solitude for Planning

Intelligent people aren’t usually those who do things on the fly. They are analytical to the core and like to crunch the numbers. They often prefer to be alone in their own space to make plans and goals.

While they’re less likely to be spontaneous, smart folks aren’t afraid to buck conventional wisdom. They like for each step to be part of their plan. If they are working with a group, they are excellent organizers.

4. Highly Intelligent People Are Comfortable Being Different

Intelligent people often think differently than the crowd. Whether others call them loners, eccentric, or even peculiar, they are comfortable with themselves. Their differences in personality and thought patterns serve their ambitions and limitless curiosity.

Their quirks may sometimes encourage them to be alone. They bask in the silence and have no one to answer to them. For these folks, solitude and oddness are usual.

They’ll never be satisfied being a cookie-cutter person. They have their way of thinking, and they’re okay with it. This difference may be what drives them to learn more.

5. They Spend Time Cultivating Creativity

In his article published by The Great Courses Daily, Dr. Don Lincoln debates the right-brain/left-brain hypothesis. Although the right-brain does control creativity and the left-brain analytics, there is not an either/or, explains Lincoln. So, it’s entirely possible that a gifted genius can also be sensitive and creative, and a creative person can be analytical savvy.

It stands to reason that intelligent people can appreciate their creativity, whether art or academics. To them, the patterns of a complex algebraic equation can be inspiring and beautiful. However, many intelligent people are artists, writers, dancers, and actors.

6. Solitude Helps Intelligent People Appreciate Others Better

It’s an inaccurate generalization to assume that all intelligent people are hermits. In fact, most of them genuinely care for people and are some of the world’s greatest philanthropists. However, their time alone may give them a greater appreciation for others.

Since they usually don’t socialize with big groups often, they have more quality time to spend with the precious few in their circle. Their periods of solitude offer them more interesting subjects to discuss with others. Plus, they often take inspiration from their friends and loved ones.

7. They Don’t Seek Social Validation

No matter how competent a person is, validation is a basic human need. It’s just as crucial as socialization and acceptance. The difference is that most intelligent people don’t seek it from everyone they meet.

Their close circle of friends provides all the validation they need. Smart folks usually have enough self-confidence to disregard negative opinions. They’re not desperate for acceptance, and they couldn’t care less if people like them or not.

8. They Spend a Lot of Time Reading

Perhaps one of the things that best boost intellect is reading. Scientific observation agrees with this theory, says an article published by Advances in Child Development and Behavior. According to the report, reading builds vocabulary, verbal skills, and general knowledge.

Intelligent people are usually avid readers, and they eagerly glean knowledge from books. Most visitors choose a solitary table or nook for reading, even in a crowded library. Smart people who read a lot can also be better writers in business or pleasure.

9. They Know Who Their Friends Are

Some people have numerous acquaintances but can’t identify true friends. Intelligent social butterflies can be effervescent in a group but still realize who has their backs. They don’t flit from gathering to gathering, hoping to build up their buddy lists on social media.

10. They’re Not Afraid of Missing Out

Have you heard about FOMO, or the Fear Of Missing Out?

It’s that unsettling feeling that they’re missing out on something if they aren’t there. For example, they regret attending a movie when they could have attended a party.

This uncomfortable sensation can affect people regardless of their intelligence. However, many intelligent individuals strive to live in the present. They find purpose in what they are doing at the moment. Mindful living gives them greater fulfillment and satisfaction.

They often hone their mindfulness skills with meditation, breathing, and exercise. Many keep journals about their experiences, thoughts, and feelings. They cherish the now rather than regret what could have been or bad decisions.

11. They Often Listen More than They Talk

It’s usually the most intelligent people who listen more than they talk. They are often skilled, active listeners and brilliant conversationalists. The fact that they enjoy solitude does not affect their ability to consider other thoughts and reflections.

12. Highly Intelligent People Avoid Drama

Even in high school, intelligent folks had no time for shallow drama. That’s why many of them tend to keep to themselves. They see the foolishness in gossip and surmising and want nothing to do with it.

Regarding a genuine dilemma, they’ll be the first to reach out for help. They are patient listeners, and they aren’t quick to judge. Intelligent people value privacy and aren’t ones to break confidence.

13. They Are Picky Socializers

A bright person wisely chooses with whom they socialize. As a result of the law of attraction, these people attract those with similar interests and backgrounds. However, they remain open-minded to different cultures and ideas as a way to expand their worldview.

14. They Often Have Different Schedules

The human circadian rhythm evolved out of necessity to rise with the sun and sleep at night. Countless people have adapted to different schedules in modern society because of work and other responsibilities. Night and swing shifts have many working at night and sleeping during the day.

Smart people regard their careers and often work complex shifts for others. For some, being a night owl may come naturally to them. Others may be the lark who arise before dawn.

Consequently, their erratic schedules don’t always mesh with socializing. They’re often busy in the sweet solitude of the night or early morning. Those in their circle have learned to meet up with them when they’re available.

15. Intelligent People Need More Quiet Time for Decisions

Brilliant individuals know that many resolutions can’t be made without careful deliberation. Since it’s often unnerving for them to think in a crowd, they’d rather be alone. They’re the type who will ask for more time to contemplate the matter.

While their outcomes aren’t made in haste, their hesitancy may become procrastination. They want the best possible solution and may be afraid to do it quickly. Regardless of the verdict, they expect some peaceful alone time to ponder.

Final Thoughts on Intelligent People and the Need for Solitude

Like Rodin’s iconic sculpture “The Thinker,” most intelligent people prefer to be alone with their profound thoughts. In the serene solitude, you can learn to be “still and know.” It’s these lone experiences that can increase your knowledge and bring you closer to those you love.

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