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10 Limiting Beliefs That Hold You Back in Life and 10 Ways to Eliminate Them

December 30, 2021 by Kristen Butler

Are you where you want to be in life, or do you feel dissatisfied? Maybe you’ve settled for less when you’ve dreamed of being much more. Do you have limiting beliefs that are standing in your way?

Creating your best life depends on attitude and hard work. Although time and chance play a minor role, you’re responsible for achieving your goals. After defining your aspirations, consider if your beliefs are helping or hurting you.

Ten Limiting Beliefs That Hold You Back in Life

Nothing can stop you from being a winner if you’re determined to be one. If you’re at a standstill and lack fulfillment, what’s in your way? Here are ten limiting beliefs that may be holding you back from the happiness and satisfaction you desire and ways to eliminate them.

1. You’re Not Worthy (The Most Damaging of These Self Limiting Beliefs)

Unworthiness is one of the most common limiting beliefs. When you talk with young children, they usually have an invincible attitude. They are sure of their blossoming independence and will remind you that they can do anything themselves.

You were once one of those children until somebody said or did something to crush your self-esteem. Afterward, you began a negative conversation in your mind that made you doubt anything positive about yourself. You may say you’re not intelligent, attractive, or good enough to succeed.

Nobody can define your self-worth but you. Change your negative self-talk into positive affirmations. Stand in front of a mirror each day and remind yourself that you are beautiful, intelligent, and more than enough. You are worthy of having a joyful and fulfilling life.

2. You Can’t Trust Anyone

Just watching a few minutes of the evening news can make anyone feel anxious and paranoid. Do you believe that you can’t reach your goals because you can’t trust anyone for help? Maybe a thoughtless person you trusted hurt you, and you assume everyone else will, too.

Humans are innately social beings, and you need others to be successful. While you should be cautious about whom you trust, not all in your circle are out to hurt you. Sometimes you must take risks in love and when creating your happiness.

3. It’s Everyone Else’s Fault

According to an article published by Psychology Today, blame-shifting is a tactic that some people use to avoid responsibility. If you’ve done or said something wrong, it’s all too easy to point your finger at others. It can also stem from a need to be right all the time, says the article.

Shifting the blame is a limiting belief because it hinders you from owning your mistakes and correcting them. “If it weren’t for them, I could have made it.” Does that sound like a familiar complaint that you have against friends and family?

When you stop blaming others for your shortcomings and mistakes, you can make a change. You may be the only person standing in the way of living your dream. To realize any achievements in your life, you also must own your responsibilities.

4. People Will Judge You (One of the Most Common Limiting Beliefs)

What if you start achieving your goals and people don’t like you? They may see your financial success and consider you as materialistic. So, you sell yourself short because you’re afraid these shallow people might judge you unfairly.

Unfortunately, you’ll have naysayers who will judge you no matter what you do. Why not ignore their negative attitude and reach for the stars? The genuine people in your circle will be thrilled and supportive while the other opinions don’t matter.

5. You’ll Be a Failure

The greatest of your limiting beliefs is probably the fear of failure. You know what you want, but you’re nervous that you’ll fall flat on your face. Then, everyone will laugh and sneer, and you’ll be forever humiliated.

An article published by Harvard Business School explains that you can’t grow if you’re afraid to make mistakes. Per the article, instead of only setting goals to avoid failure, take a risk and make them positive.

6. You Don’t Need Success

A mask of self-righteousness hides many fears and misconceptions. If you don’t enjoy the success you’ve always dreamed of, it’s easy to say it’s not essential. You try to convince yourself that you don’t need money, fame, or things to make you happy.

Some people try to hide behind religious traditions that equate poverty with morality. Yes, all the riches in the world won’t satisfy you if that’s all you value. However, denying your dreams isn’t going to bring you fulfillment either.

Do you read about financially successful people and feel like they don’t deserve it? Are gifted or famous people evil just because they have what they want? Does holding yourself back make you any better than them?

Limiting beliefs like this one doesn’t make you morally superior. It’s all about keeping your life in perspective. You can achieve your wildest dreams and still be humble, grateful, and generous.

7. It’s Too Late in My Life

Unfortunately, some aspirations are time-sensitive. Setting goals that require solid physical stamina may be too difficult as you get older. Reflect on your dreams and notice which ones you’ve crossed out because you say it’s too late.

This false perception can lead to internal anger and depression in later years. You can harbor regrets that will trouble you for the rest of your life. The good news is that you’re never too old to dream and do what it takes to see them come true.

According to an article published by the Smithsonian Art Museum, Grandma Moses didn’t start painting her masterpieces until she was 77. When you read about her and other people who succeeded later in life, you’ll be inspired. What dreams are you waiting to bring into reality?

Just because your goals may be more complicated doesn’t mean you can’t try. You may have to modify them. For example, you may not become an Olympian, but you can excel in your favorite sport.

8. It’s Too Hard

If you’re a parent, you know how frustrating it is to argue with your children to finish a task. They may pout and whine. Instead of trying, they want to avoid their responsibility by saying they can’t do it.

Such limiting beliefs aren’t inclusive to children. Countless adults offer this excuse because they’re afraid to take the first step toward their aspirations. Anything challenging or unfamiliar can be side-stepped because it’s too hard.

If everyone didn’t overcome obstacles, nobody’s dreams would come true. Approach your goals with a positive attitude and acknowledge the difficulties. Determine that you’ll do whatever it takes to achieve your heart’s satisfaction.

9. You Don’t Have Enough Resources to Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs

There’s no doubt that you’ll need money, time, and other resources for your goal plan. What if you’re living from paycheck to paycheck and own a few things? Allowing yourself to meditate on what you don’t have prevents you from working with what you have.

Consider the late tech guru and multi-billionaire Steve Jobs. He was a college dropout who started a company in his parent’s garage, according to an article posted on Sun In Me. Jobs believed in himself, and his company is now among the most successful in the world. He didn’t let his meager bank account keep him from his dreams.

Your math skills will come in handy when you’re creating a plan for achieving your dreams. If you figure that you need a certain amount of cash to buy or do something, how long will it take to save? Are there any ways you can tighten your budget to get what you need faster?

10. Good Things Only Happen to Other People

Do you ever wonder why everyone else gets the blessings instead of you? It may be raining soup, and you’re standing outside with a fork. You don’t strive to win because you consider it a waste of time.

Remember the law of attraction before you become entrenched in limiting beliefs like this. The Universe doesn’t play favorites and is just as willing to help you as anyone else. Your part is to change your attitude and affirmations.

The law of attraction isn’t tricky at all. It simply states that whatever you project into the Universe will attract the same. When you make negative affirmations like, “I never get a break,” or, “Good things only happen to others,” the Universe hears.

You attract the same negative results, so you’ll continue never getting a break or have nothing good happen. Instead, make positive affirmations that you’re a winner and your dreams are coming true. The Universe will agree, and that’s precisely what will happen.

Final Thoughts on Limiting Beliefs that Hold You Back

The only thing that can stand between you and your best life is you. Identify negative beliefs and exchange them for positive affirmations. When you have a positive attitude and use the law of attraction, your dreams can be fulfilled.

12 Motivational Quotes About Life from Betty White

December 30, 2021 by Power of Positivity

Betty White began her acting career over eighty years ago (in 1939!), landing her first role just weeks after she graduated from high school. After that, she earned the respect and admiration of her co-workers and gained legions of adoring fans.

Ms. White wore many hats with ease. These included actor, comedian, author, Emmy-award winner, and animal welfare and environmental activist. It seems there’s nothing she couldn’t accomplish. So what was the key to her long ride at the top of Hollywood? She owed her key to longevity in a fickle industry–and in life–to a positive attitude and drive to succeed in life despite the odds.

Not only was Betty White famous for her sunny personality, but she also keenly observed the world around her. When you read on to these motivational quotes about life, you’ll agree!

Here are some Betty White motivational quotes that will be sure to restore your can-do attitude.

1 – “It’s your outlook on life that counts. If you take yourself lightly and don’t take yourself so seriously, pretty soon, you can find the humor in our everyday lives. And sometimes it can be a lifesaver.”

Think about the first sentence of this quote. Your outlook on life is everything! If you expect great things to happen, and you take steps to ensure your ultimate success, you’ll make them your reality. But don’t take yourself too seriously. Instead, take time out once in a while to enjoy laughing with your friends–it’s an ideal way to destress.

2 – “I think it’s your mental attitude. So many of us start dreading age in high school, and that’s a waste of a lovely life. ‘Oh… I’m 30, oh, I’m 40, oh, 50.’ Make the most of it.”

Age is just a number, according to this savvy nonagenarian. Don’t squander today worrying about what will happen as you age. Instead, live in the present and enjoy every moment you have on this beautiful planet. Whether you’re of the Greatest Generation (like Ms. White), a baby boomer, millennial, or from Gen Z–your time to shine is right now.

3 – “A lot of people think this is a goodie-two-shoes talking. But we do have a tendency to complain rather than celebrating who we are. I learned at my mother’s knee it’s better to appreciate what’s happening… I think we kind of talk ourselves into the negative sometimes.”

Complaining, according to Betty White, is an enormous waste of precious time. Rather than keeping a list of grievances, focus on being thankful for all the blessings in your life. So cast aside the negatives. And, whether you give thanks for a job you love, a roof over your head, or food in your children’s belly, focus on appreciating what you do have.

4 – “I’m a big cockeyed optimist. I try to accentuate the positive as opposed to the negative.”

While some people view optimists with a touch of mockery in this hectic world, Ms. White knows the truth. It’s that ongoing commitment to the positivity that keeps her relevant and working, even in her late nineties.

5 – When I pontificate, it sounds so, you know, ‘Oh, well, she’s preaching.’ I’m not preaching, but I think maybe I learned it from my animal friends. Kindness and consideration of somebody besides yourself. I think that keeps you feeling young. I really do.

Betty White is an animal welfare activist and takes inspiration from her furry buddies. Furthermore, she believes that we should all give back to some charitable cause in whatever way we each can. A charitable heart keeps us focused on serving others, teaching us kindness and humility that keeps us young at heart.

6 – “If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble.”

Arguably, this actor landed her most famous role in the 1980s hit comedy series The Golden Girls. On the show, she played the adorably ditzy character, Rose. In the series, Rose knew how to muddle through the challenges of life with a sharp sense of humor. That sounds suspiciously a little like Betty White herself!

7 – “I didn’t know what Facebook was, and now that I do know what it is, I have to say, it sounds like a huge waste of time.”

Life is for living, here and now! Make time for genuine in-person connections with your friends and loved ones. Don’t sacrifice valuable time that you could spend on living your authentic life behind a computer screen. Squandering time on social media when you could be building relationships or your career is wasted at the end of your day.

8 – “Anger tears me up inside. My own…or anyone else’s.”

Anger is a powerful and harmful emotion. It erodes away the depths of your very soul and causes you anguish and pain. So don’t waste your time feeling upset or angry. Learn how to cope with your anger–and how to deflect the negative emotions of others.

Instead of staying mad at someone who wronged you, learn coping strategies to release the emotions, forgive, let go, and move on to more positive pursuits.

9 – “Wilderness is harder and harder to find these days on this beautiful planet, and we’re abusing our planet to the point of almost no return.”

Does this Betty White quote sound more ominous to you than the others? Here, she issues a dire warning. We must find ways to stop the abuse of Planet Earth before it is too late. Deforestation, species extinction, and global warming are already in motion.

She advocates for everyone doing their part to stop the harmful actions. Some ideas?

Shop at a farmer’s market for organic veggies (no pesticides!)
Opt for reusable shopping bags
Recycle your water bottles–or better yet, invest in reusable travel cups
Turn your air conditioning up just a degree, or your heat down a degree, to save energy.

You can make small changes and become part of the solution.

10 – “Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way.”

Ms. White says, “Who me? Retire?”

An active lifestyle–including working, workouts, and living in a two-story home where she walks the steps every day–keep this actor in physically fit shape.

More importantly, her work gives her drive and a sense of purpose and keeps her mind as sharp as it’s ever been. Doing the job she loves keeps her young at heart if not in numbers.

11 – “You don’t luck into integrity. You work at it.”

A long life spent in Hollywood offered many temptations to this funny lady. However, she made conscious decisions to remain true to herself and a belief system instead of being sucked down the rabbit hole.

Integrity means doing the right thing, always, even when it’s challenging to do so. Resisting the temptations of stardom probably did not come any easier to Betty White than it would to anyone of us! Trusting her moral compass has served this lady throughout her long career.

12 – “I just make it my business to get along with people so I can have fun. It’s that simple.”

This actor makes people a priority. Building positive relationships and loyal friends gives her a support system that’s much needed as we age. In fact, these very relationships offer you a network of people with whom you can be yourself and have fun. And, at the end of the day, isn’t that what life is all about?

motivational quotes from strong women like Betty White

By photo by Alan Light, CC BY 2.0,

Final Thoughts About These Motivational Quotes by Betty White

After reading these motivational quotes by Betty White, you can’t help but be inspired to be a kinder, more motivated person! Her many years of success in a tough industry prove that nice guys–and gals–really can finish first!

6 Habits That Help Prevent or Reduce Emotional Harm

December 29, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

People pay a lot of attention to physical cuts and injuries. But what about emotional ones? Though they don’t often get the care they deserve, they can be just as detrimental to you. Left to fester, emotional harm, pain, and injury can lead to various mental health problems.

But it’s also not easy to avoid emotional harm in life. After all, the world is full of various stressors, unexpected circumstances, and challenging experiences. How are you meant to survive them all? Here are six habits that help prevent or reduce emotional harm.

1. Articulate Your Worries To Reduce Emotional Harm

Many people keep their worries quiet, holding them inside their heads. You might do this because you feel like your worries are silly or that they may burden others if you talk about them. There’s a balance that must strike, however. Holding in your concerns can unintentionally lead to emotional harm because:

Thoughts can be disorganized, making it hard to make sense of worries in your mind.
Worries can become stuck on a loop, causing them to turn into rumination and anxiety.
You may try to repress your worries, which will only worsen their effects and cause more complex issues.

Instead of risking this emotional harm, find ways to articulate your worries positively. Here are some methods you can use:

· Write Your Worries Out

Writing your worries down allows you to express them and untangle them into a tangible form. This helps prevent you from getting stuck in thought loops and gives you room for safe expression. Allow yourself to write freely without judging yourself or holding back. It’s okay if it’s messy – what matters is expressing it. Having all of this in writing will also let you reflect on them later. You can use anything from a piece of paper, a journal, a notes app, or a document on your computer!

· Converse With Yourself

Have you ever tried getting in touch with your subconscious? Talking to yourself feels foolish at first, but it’s a helpful tool. Talk to yourself and ask yourself probing questions about your worries and where they stem from. View your subconscious as you would a friend in need. You might find that you can work things out with yourself once you treat yourself with this kindness!

· Talk To Others

Speaking to someone about your worries can ease the burden that you carry. Ask to vent to a trusted individual, and you’ll be surprised how much you can work out just by speaking out loud. You can talk to family, friends, a mentor figure, support groups, networks, or even a professional therapist. As long as you trust the person you’re speaking to. You can benefit from expressing your worries to them. It’ll also give you the chance to ask them for advice, should you want or need it.

2. Fill Your Time Well To Prevent Emotional Harm

Emotional harm can often be a product of excessive idleness. If you have free time to choose to spend as you wish, you’ll have to choose wisely. Specific activities will contribute to negative feelings and can be a point of exacerbation for pre-existing problems. Here are some ways to fill your time well:

· Engage In Hobbies

Finding something you’re passionate about can fill your time quickly! You’ll get to be creative, sharpen your skills, and do something that makes you feel good, all at once. If you don’t currently have a hobby, try seeking out local groups and clubs for things you’d like to try. You can also attend classes or join online communities. Take your time discovering what you love!

· Reduce Time Spent On Social Media

It’s easy to spend hours scrolling through the internet and various platforms. This fast-paced, constantly plugged-in way of living isn’t ideal for your health and can contribute to emotional harm. Don’t fill all your spare time with devices, and keep track of your screen time!

· Rest

That’s right, filling your time well doesn’t need to be about being productive in the traditional sense. Resting is essential for reducing emotional harm. It gives you the chance to catch a breather, relax, and recharge. Make sure you’re making time for self-care and me-time. Don’t feel guilty for taking that time for yourself!

3. Reduce Emotional Harm By Practicing Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a practice that is well-known for preventing emotional harm. Studies show that just two months of using this technique can improve the concentration of gray matter in the brain. This improvement boosts emotional regulation and provides numerous mental health benefits.

While mindfulness isn’t a cure-all, it’s also not something you should overlook! The process involves paying attention to the present by immersing yourself in awareness. This awareness involves your physical body and emotions all at once. This keeps you grounded, allowing you to experience your life as it comes. It can help you better understand your feelings and develop a stronger awareness and control over them.

To practice mindfulness as part of your life, you should pay attention to all your senses during your everyday life. This includes sounds, tastes, smells, and textures that you’re used to and take for granted. Also, note how your body and mind respond to these senses!

In addition, don’t repress, push away, deny, or avoid your emotions, even when they’re complex. Focus on acceptance without judgment and move on from there. Ultimately, be patient with yourself; mindfulness is a hard habit to learn and may not work right away.

4. Ask For Feedback From Others To Decrease Emotional Harm

Emotionally intelligent people are always interested in the feedback of others. You might think that this only opens you up to emotional harm, but it’s good for you in the long run. Every person has blind spots, and you do too. As such, there are things you’re not going to consider or notice until someone points it out to you – or until you learn it the hard way.

You shouldn’t ask for feedback from everyone, of course! The goal is to request it from those you trust, whether in a professional or personal sense. This feedback, when given constructively, will allow you to consider your shortcomings productively. Some people may hesitate to be direct and honest with you, so take your time developing this back-and-forth with those you know you can count on. Make them feel safe opening up to you!

Is it a little uncomfortable at first? Yes, definitely! But ultimately, it’s so good for you in the long run. If you need some time to work your way up to it, you can start with various forms of advice-filled media. Many problems you face may be familiar enough that someone’s made content about how to work to overcome those issues!

At the same time, however, learn what feedback isn’t vital to you. Some people’s advice will be bad, causing further emotional harm. Be assertive and think for yourself, setting boundaries against those you don’t trust!

5. Reduct the Change of Emotional Harm By Engaging In Social Connection

Human beings are very social by nature, and we’ve been social since the dawn of time! Studies have shown that one of the best ways to prevent emotional harm is forming positive social connections. Other research indicates that good relationships improve stress tolerance and mental health.

You don’t need to be the life of the party to benefit from social connection to reduce emotional harm. It’s arguably better to be more selective of your social circle for this purpose. You can:

Dedicate more time to family and close friends.
Join communities and groups for common interests or support.
Be mindful of your relationships and nip toxic ones in the bud.
Confide in the people you trust most.
Express your appreciation for the people who are good to you and for you in your life.

6. Fuel Your Body To Decrease Emotional Harm

As cliche as it sounds, your brain functions best when your body is healthy. It would be best if you fueled your physical health well to gain mental and emotional benefits. This doesn’t have to be taken to an extreme fitness guru level, but it must be moderate and follow medically recommended amounts.

You may not realize it, but the act of ignoring your body’s needs can be categorized as self-harm. And we all know that self-harm is a form of emotional harm as much as it is physical! So make sure your body gets what it needs by fueling it in the following ways.

· Eat Well

You don’t have to go on a significant diet to eat healthily. Simply being mindful of your food choices is a much more sustainable option for emotional harm prevention. Studies have seen many benefits of a healthy diet for symptoms of anxiety and depression, even to the point where they can be used as standalone treatments for these issues. Try to reduce your intake of processed foods, refined sugars and carbohydrates, trans fats, and excessive dairy. Focus on whole foods, fresh produce, and moderation above all!

· Exercise

Exercise can make you feel tired, but it ultimately fuels and strengthens your physical health and protects your brain. Research shows that exercise can prevent depression, with some studies showing they reduce symptoms in those who already have the disorder. Half an hour of physical activity five times a week is a pretty good long-term goal if you’re not interested in intensive workouts. Just get your heart pumping for a little while every day in any way you prefer! You can go for a walk, hit the gym, do some dancing, garden, or even take the stairs instead of the lift.

· Get Enough Sleep

Those who lack sleep face greater levels of emotional harm. Your body needs to rest to function at its best. Without that much-needed rest, you’ll feel dizzy, fatigued, and more emotionally volatile. You should be getting between seven and nine hours of sleep each night for the best physical and mental health. If you have sleep issues, addressing them is a big step in reducing emotional harm!

Final Thoughts On Some Habits That Help Prevent Or Reduce Emotional Harm

It’s not always easy to reduce or prevent emotional harm, but it can be done. You can do this by articulating worries, filling time well, practicing mindfulness, listening to feedback, being socially connected, and fueling your body. These habits, while simple on the surface, will work wonders for your emotional wellbeing!

6 Red Flags That Reveal a Passive-Aggressive Narcissist

December 29, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

Narcissists are rarely ever direct. Many of their tactics involve using disguised forms of various types of hostility. This cruelty allows someone, especially a passive-aggressive narcissist, to gain plausible deniability for their actions and avoid taking accountability.

It can be tough to figure out if someone is behaving in a concerning or harmful way with all that indirectness. That’s why it’s wise to spot the warning signs before you’re too deep! Here are six red flags that reveal a passive-aggressive narcissist.

1. A Passive-Aggressive Narcissist Displays Social Hostility

Social or relational hostility involves treating others in ways that ostracize them or invoke “social punishment.” The trick with a passive-aggressive narcissist is doing this in disguised ways to avoid direct aggression.

This sort of toxicity is a complex topic. Most human beings develop natural social awareness to some degree to dissect the nuances of various interactions. This action means that even subtle acts of hostility in a relational context can feel very powerful. There’s no need for direct attacks when a narcissist can communicate their message with various social forms of communication.

For example, a passive-aggressive narcissist may:

· Socially Excludes Others

Have you ever been trying to fit in well in a group, only to have that group seem to close into a circle and leave you standing outside? Passive-aggressive narcissists love to find ways to do that to those they resent. They’ll expertly orchestrate social situations to exclude you purposefully.

· Give “Silent” Treatment

A narcissist isn’t going to tell you when they’re upset directly. Instead, they’ll ignore you or act like you’re not there to make communication impossible. Silence is a prevalent tactic of narcissists, say studies. This is because it avoids direct conflict and instead serves as a way to goad you into initiating hostility. The silent treatment and avoidance send an unequivocal relational message that gets on anyone’s nerves!

· “Accidentally” Humiliate

A passive-aggressive narcissist knows how to hit you where it hurts, but they don’t want to be the “bad guy” of a situation. So they find ways to indirectly talk about things that’ll hurt you, usually in calm and innocent-sounding ways, in front of others. This form of covert punishment is designed to isolate you from social interaction!

2. Non-Communication Of Resentment And the Desires Of A Passive-Aggressive Narcissist

If a passive-aggressive narcissist has a problem with you, they’re not going to tell you the way that an average person would. If they want something, they’ll keep it to themselves and hope you figure it out.

This is because their passiveness involves non-communication. They want you to get the message, but they don’t want to tell you that message. It’s an unreasonable expectation and, left unchecked, becomes extremely tiring and toxic. This non-communication can happen by:

· Sulking

When a narcissist is upset, they’ll make it evident by being grumpy, sulky, sour, and irritable. They’ll create challenging levels of tension while insisting that everything is okay.

· Hint-Dropping

A narcissist who wants something doesn’t want to ask for it directly. They’re too worried you will see it as something they have to owe you for. As such, they try to drop hints, so you pick up on their desires and fulfill them without owning that truth.

· Wishful Wishing

This is the closest that passive-aggressive narcissists get to direct communication, and it’s incredibly annoying! They’ll wish out loud for what they want but then dump that wish out quickly. This employs guilt-tripping mechanisms and allows them to pretend that their idea isn’t theirs. For example: “It would be so nice if someone would get me some coffee, too, but I guess that’ll never happen, so never mind!”

3. Direct Or Underhanded Sabotage Goes Along With A Passive-Aggressive Narcissist

If a narcissist doesn’t want you to succeed, they’ll try to sabotage you. They’ll get in your way, mismanage various tasks, break agreements, and turn others against you or each other.

Direct sabotage can be easy to spot, however. As such, a passive-aggressive narcissist will often opt for subtler approaches to undermining you and adding to your difficulties. They may do this in the following ways:

· Procrastination

A passive-aggressive narcissist may stall for time to sabotage your efforts. This is especially true if they must complete a task to go smoothly. Research shows that this is a surprisingly common narcissistic tactic.

· Poor Performance

If they want to sabotage your progress, a narcissist who needs to work with you may intentionally underperform. They’ll do lousy work or “forget” to do various tasks, then shift the blame away from themselves and act innocent. Worse still, they may leave things wholly undone!

· Stalling

Passive-aggressive people find ways other than procrastination to stall you. They may set up unnecessary red tape and obstruct attempts at communication and progress. They might run late for all your meetings or try to slow you down in other ways. They’ll use stubbornness as a tool against you.

4. A Passive-Aggressive Narcissist Excels At Passing Around Blame

Those with high narcissism always refuse to take responsibility for their actions. They don’t want to be held accountable for anything, so they’ll find ways to pass around blame. They may do this by:

Blaming others for what they’ve done, insisting that you should have done more or known better. For example: “I only forgot because you didn’t remind me!”
Playing the victim by acting like they’re being persecuted unfairly. For example: “There’s no way for me to explain myself here because you’ve already decided I’m wrong!”
Guilt-tripping others so they can get away with their actions scot-free. For example: “You know I’ve been having such a hard time with my family lately. I can’t believe you’re being so harsh on me!”
Gaslighting others so they think their perception is wrong. For example: “I wasn’t being unfair to you. You’re probably just feeling exhausted, so you took me the wrong way.”
Deflecting the topic to distract from the issue at hand. For example: “But you didn’t help me when I wanted your help last month!”

Not all of these methods are necessarily passive, but they’re often used to get out of trouble quickly. A passive-aggressive narcissist won’t want to admit to their faults actively, so this is their next best option.

5. A Passive-Aggressive Narcissist Uses Disguised Forms Of Verbal Hostility

Verbal hostility, such as insults and verbal attacks, is directly aggressive. But that doesn’t mean that a narcissist won’t find ways to be more passive. All they need to do is disguise that hostility. They’ll do this with:

· A Passive-Aggressive Narcissist Gives Backhanded Compliments

When a toxic person compliments you, they’re rarely doing it genuinely. It’s typically a backhanded way to insult you while making them look innocent. They might say, “Wow, great dress – I used to dress like that in high school.” Or perhaps they’ll look you up and down and say they admire your confidence for going out dressing as you did. It sounds nice, but it’s not, and you can tell it isn’t.

· Brutal “Honesty.”

There’s a difference between being honest and just being cruel. A passive-aggressive narcissist is the latter, but they look like the former. They’ll insist they want the best for you, but their words are unreasonably hurtful and disrespectful.

· Humor and the Passive-Aggressive Narcissist

A passive-aggressive narcissist will often make use of hostile humor. They’ll make digs at various aspects of you but insist they were joking. This lets them express their true thoughts while painting you to look like you’re overly sensitive.

· Disclaimers

The passive-aggressive narcissist may fill their sentences with disclaimers to make themselves seem mindful. They may say “No offense, but…” or “I hope you don’t think I’m rude, but…”, as well as other careful statements. They use these to protect themselves against the inevitable backlash for the harsh words they’ll say. Since they “prepared” you, they’ll make your adverse reaction out to be your problem.

6. A Passive-Aggressive Narcissist Has An Exaggerated Need For Attention, Validation, and Assurance

Lots of people do want and need extrinsic validation from those around them. There are even plenty of people with unhealthy levels of this need who aren’t narcissists. But those with many narcissisms will express this exaggerated need in notably harmful ways.

A passive-aggressive narcissist will want to seek out and almost demand the assurance they desire. But the keyword here is their “passiveness.” They don’t directly ask for attention – they try to grab it in various toxic and manipulative ways. This behavior is a huge red flag and can come from any following emotions.

· Fear Of Rejection Or Ridicule

A passive-aggressive narcissist is often highly motivated by various forms of fear. They may be afraid of rejection, of being wrong, or of being ridiculed. This fear causes them to crave validation to alleviate this fear. They’re worried that people will call their bluff or will see them differently than they wish to be perceived. As such, they find ways to gain the assurance they want, typically through underhanded means. This also means that many narcissists fear vulnerability and won’t be open to genuine intimacy and honesty with others.

· Constant Anxiety

A lot of narcissists experience constant states of anxiety. This emotion elevates toxic behavior because they project their fear, accusing others of various things without evidence or truth. They’re so anxious that they believe their anxieties are entirely rational and take that out on everyone around them. In a passive-aggressive narcissists, this can be seen in how they constantly talk about impending doom or how everyone is out to get them. Studies show a high correlation between anxious and narcissistic tendencies.

· Threat Perception

The aforementioned constant anxiety means that a passive-aggressive narcissist perceives everything as a threat. They take everything personally. They’ll think it was directed at them if you say something casually. Everything is seen as a personal attack, which can be exhausting for the people around them. They don’t take anyone in good faith!

Unfortunately, no validation or assurance can be enough for a passive-aggressive narcissist. Not only do they fail to internalize anything positive you say truly, but they also don’t believe those words.

This is especially true for individuals with NPD, typically a disorder based on trauma. They may believe they’re not worthy of love, so they desire that love but can’t think it may be genuine. They’ll do whatever it takes to get praise, but at the end, it won’t make them feel good the way they wish it did.

Final Thoughts On Some Red Flags That Reveal A Passive-Aggressive Narcissist

You can’t always discern who’s a narcissist or just a bit of a toxic person with a few toxic traits. That’s why spotting red flags from anyone whose passive aggression may harm you is vital! Only then can you say no to their machinations.

Body Satisfaction and Self-Esteem Improve With Age, According to Study

December 29, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

Are you on a quest to love your body and improve your self-love? Many people struggle with these concepts, and even those who seem to have it all still deal with self-esteem issues. The fact that self-esteem is associated with achievements, body satisfaction levels, happiness, and motivation makes it more desirable!

But what, exactly, is self-esteem? The term was coined in the 18th century about the importance of thinking well of oneself to reach full potential. It refers to an evaluation of self-worth, encompassing beliefs about the self, including one’s appearance and body. It typically requires a generally positive emotional state.

Ever since the idea of self-esteem was introduced to the general public, it’s been a beautiful construct. Some people consider self-esteem an enduring characteristic that is almost innate in differing levels across different individuals. Others validate the existence of state self-esteem, or short-term self-worth, as a more malleable and variable construct.

Regardless of how you view self-esteem, one fact remains: it does experience some change on a personal level over time. And the good news is that the change mentioned above is positive and tends to happen almost naturally with time. At least, that’s what the research says! According to a study, here’s how body satisfaction and self-esteem improve with age.

1. The Study On How Body Satisfaction Relates To Age

Numerous studies over the decades have delved into the concept of self-esteem. The study came out in October 2018 and is a meta-analysis of countless longitudinal studies. This means that the study analyzed multiple studies on the topic to draw certain conclusions.

The study, entitled “Development of self-esteem from age 4 to 94 years: A meta-analysis of longitudinal studies”, was published in the Psychological Bulletin journal. The details are as follows:

The meta-analysis used 191 longitudinal studies published from 1975 to 2016.
The studies analyzed had varying sizes, from those with a mere 32 subjects to those with a whopping 13,401 subjects. Altogether, 164,868 participants’ data was involved.
On average, 47% of the subjects of the studies are male.
61% of the studied populations are from the United States of America. More than 22% are from Europe. There are no participants from Central America, South America, or Africa.
More than half of the studied participants are white.
The ages of participants in the analyzed studies range from 4 years of age to 94 years of age.
Some analyzed studies involved three waves of data collection or more, typically an essential factor in various time intervals.

Now that we understand the characteristics of this study let’s move on to its findings. In essence, the study discovered that body satisfaction and self-esteem changes over time with age.

In general, it pointed out a link between older ages and higher self-esteem, with a notable correlation between aging and better self-love. It seems that unique “low points” in self-esteem are typically simply the beginnings of long-term improvements over time. Let’s examine these body satisfaction rates in different age periods.

2. Body Satisfaction and Self-Esteem In Childhood and Adolescence

This meta-analysis indicates that self-esteem experiences an increase during the ages of 4 to 11. This seems to contradict prior findings from other tiny bits of research that suggest children lose self-esteem between the ages of 4 and 8.

Earlier theories suggested that kids at this age begin to develop a sense of self and can discern an “ideal” form of self. Supposedly, this could cause a loss of self-esteem as time moves on, especially since kids become aware of their bodies and appearances as they grow.

But why, then, does the study we’re discussing indicate otherwise? This could be because of the small sample size of previous research. However, there’s also a different explanation. A child may first start to lose self-esteem when they realize they’re not an “ideal” imagined self. But as they gain autonomy over the years, their self-esteem recovers and even rises!

But what about in adolescence? The meta-analysis found that self-esteem doesn’t change much from 11 to 15, then experiencing an increase after that. This is likely due to improvements in autonomy, with freedom lending itself to body satisfaction and esteem. Other research shows that early adolescence can have adverse effects on self-esteem, typically due to numerous other factors.

What The Study Learned About Children

Some notable research findings from other studies about body satisfaction and self-esteem in youth state:

A child’s self-esteem may be established fully by the age of five! Research shows that kids of this age can have comparable levels of self-esteem to adults. This means that body satisfaction can have enormous implications for further growth and development at a young age.
Parenting styles can affect self-esteem and body satisfaction in children. Warm and supportive parenting with unconditional love is likely to translate to improved self-concept, say studies.
Performance in school can change a school-aged child or adolescent’s level of self-esteem. According to research, consistent performance in positive ways is typically associated with better self-love. The same is true in reverse.
The body satisfaction of young individuals is often influenced by social comparison. Kids and teens naturally compare themselves to their peers and friends, say studies. This self-comparison changes how they perceive themselves, as they judge themselves based on those around them. This habit also applies to academic or extra-curricular performance.
Social acceptance is associated with higher body satisfaction and self-esteem among adolescents. Rejection, therefore, has adverse effects, as research found. Children and teenagers need to feel a sense of belonging to feel good about themselves.

3. Body Satisfaction and Self-Esteem In Young, Middle, and Old Adulthood

In adulthood, self-esteem continues to grow, along with body satisfaction. This growth happens at a quick rate until the age of 30. While challenging for young adults to slowly get used to, additional adulthood responsibilities boost self-concept and promote various improvements. These complex improvements include:

Personality trait development, improving conscientiousness, general emotional stability, and agreeability.
Social role development, with many solidifying their identity as partners, employees, parents, and contributors to society.
Autonomy or a life lived independently without the control of guardian figures.

Self-esteem continues to increase over time even beyond 30, though the rate decreases. This means the improvement in body satisfaction slowly “settles” and happens more gradually up to 60. Self-esteem then peaks at this point, between 60 and 70.

After this point, self-esteem may start to drop, with the decline increasing rapidly after the age of 90. This may be due to reasons such as:

Reductions in health and physical ability
Decreases in cognitive function
Loss of complex social roles via widowhood, retirement, and more

While these are significant concerns for the elderly and their self-esteem due to these reasons, there’s still some hope in this! Medical advancements allow the elderly to have access to better healthcare and medical interventions. In the future, this may allow for the elderly to maintain their self-esteem and continue the trend of increase at a slow but steady rate.

Essentially, this means that as long as you feel a good part of society and are in good health, your self-esteem should increase with age. The only change in this trend is related to the speed of the increase, not the direction itself.

4. Study Limitations

Like all studies, this meta-analysis has its fair share of limitations. This is normal, and most research requires further, more in-depth analysis to supplement it. This study’s limitations include:

Diversity of participants. This study included almost entirely Western populations, meaning it cannot accurately speak for the entire world.
Broad pattern focus. The study observed overall patterns. This means the team did not account for individual differences. You can experience low self-esteem as a person that contradicts general population trends.
Environmental factors. While the meta-analysis did try to account for participants’ various factors, it cannot be entirely conclusive on the finer points. Correlation and causation can’t be intrinsically held as the same. Various other factors may be affecting the self-esteem of different populations and groups.

Still, there are positive takeaways from the study. The resilience of people, in general, allows their confidence and esteem to remain high and continue to grow over time. Health and unsupported aging are the main factors that could disrupt this trend. This points to the need for further research into this specific area to better help the elderly prevent that decline.

Other Factors

Still, it’s worth noting that numerous factors play into adulthood body satisfaction and self-esteem. These factors include:

Skill and mastery levels; greater mastery means better self-esteem.
Risk-taking tendencies; lower risk-taking desire points to improved self-esteem.
Extroversion; those who are extroverted tend to have social circles well into their old age, which maintains self-esteem.
Mental health, emotional stability, and mental wellbeing are central to body satisfaction and self-esteem across all ages.
Race; social factors related to racism and prejudice can change self-esteem trends.

Further studies point to shame as a significant determiner in self-esteem and body satisfaction. An ostracized individual or someone who doesn’t have self-respect for any reason is likely to experience declines in self-esteem.

However, self-compassion has been shown, in other research, to help to mitigate these effects. This means that despite all that you face, learning to love your body and self with kindness will work in your favor, regardless of other trends. Being able to seek aid for poor self-esteem and find help for various mental and physical health needs are also crucial in your continual positive self-love!

Final Thoughts On How Body Satisfaction And Self-Esteem Improve With Age

For many, body satisfaction and self-esteem can feel almost elusive. In a world so full of comparisons and virtually unattainable standards, you may start to despair. It’s hard to feel truly happy with yourself when you see a lot of idealized standards that you know are difficult or impossible to achieve.

That’s why it’s such good news to find out that self-esteem can improve naturally as you grow older! This means that things get better, and you have a good chance of increasing your happiness simply through perseverance. Keep in mind that you need to want these changes and work towards them for the best results!

10 Amazing Things That Happen if You Cut Back on Social Media Use

December 29, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

People use social media constantly! There’s always a picture for Instagram, a story for Snapchat, or thought for Twitter. To some degree, this connectivity between human beings can be seen as beautiful and nuanced, a complex and fascinating topic. But, at the same time, there’s such a thing as way too much social media!

If you’ve been worried that your screen time has been reaching too-high levels, consider this your sign to start reducing it. You’ll receive numerous benefits from decreasing your attention to social media! Here are ten amazing things that happen if you cut back on social media use.

1. You’ll Be More Creative If You Decrease Social Media Use

Social media use can interfere with creativity. It serves as a distraction and means of occupying your mind, reducing your brain’s natural ability to innovate independently. If you’re struck by a block in creativity, taking a break from social media can slowly remove that block.

On top of that, an over-reliance on technology to fill time can worsen your tendency towards boredom. The less you allow yourself to find quick “fixes” to feeling bored, the better your creativity will sore. You’ll give your mind the chance to come up with its entertainment. Just half an hour without social media can get those gears turning a little more. Imagine, then, what long-term reduction can do!

2. You Ditch Social Comparison

Social comparison has its uses, but social media use encourages it in its unhealthiest forms. Studies even show that some individuals can develop severe depression from the comparison that stems from social media!

This outcome occurs because, by nature, social media posts attract some degree of attention – even if it’s just sharing something with close friends. The goal is for someone to see those things. As such, people choose to share good things most of the time. The popularity of a post is often a motivational factor in deciding what someone posts.

When you see these posts of people showing off the best parts of their lives, you compare yourself unfairly to them. You know what your real life is like in all its ups and downs, but you only see the “ups” of others. Your comparisons are automatically doomed ones! This creates a cycle of social comparison that you can’t break easily without quitting social media.

Taking a break from social media allows you to feel more self-assured and less interested in comparing yourself to others. You’ll remain more grounded in the real world and won’t feel envious of others.

3. You’ll Be More Productive

Lots of people use social media periodically throughout the day. You might think that a few seconds or minutes of social media use while performing other tasks is fine. But the truth is that this completely disrupts your productivity.

Why does this happen? Quickly responding to a message or scrolling through a feed involves interrupting your current task. This requires that your brain perform something known as task-switching. This task means that multitasking even a few seconds of social media every several minutes.

Multitasking has been proven in research to tank productivity and attention. Just clicking around Instagram or Facebook for a few minutes can mean you lose 40% of your productivity! You finally get that much-needed attention and concentration back when you cut back on social media use.

4. You’ll Be Less Anxious

Social media use can increase symptoms and levels of anxiety and stress, say studies. Many elements of its usage can cause elevated cortisol levels in the body. Cortisol is the stress hormone that, when released in excess, leads to chronic issues and impairment. This anxiety happens because social media use creates:

Constant exposure to bad news and negative interactions in an unfiltered and uncontrollable without limits.
Feelings of lack of control due to knowledge about numerous world issues without personally alleviating them.
Stress from trying to keep up with others and be aware of what everyone is doing, or from trying to gain popularity or validation.
Personal anxiety and self-esteem issues from social comparison, loneliness, and fear of missing out.
Constant connectivity spurs an innate obligation to respond to everyone and everything as soon as possible, giving you no time to breathe.

When you cut back on using these various platforms, you free yourself from these constraints. Your mental health will improve in due time as you learn better to regulate your interactions with these media types.

Start Slowly When You Begin Cutting Back On Social Media Use

However, it’s worth noting that you may feel more anxious when you first start cutting back on social media use. This increase is because:

Social media can be addictive. So cutting back can cause withdrawal symptoms.
Social media is an easy but ultimately unsustainable way to get dopamine. It takes time for your brain to feel okay with cutting back on that easy but harmful source.
Social media forces excessive levels of constant connectivity. Cutting back depletes those feelings and can make you feel isolated at first.

Luckily, these issues tend to only last for a few days of reducing the use of your favorite platform. They’re also just a necessary hurdle in changing a destructive and excessive habit. It won’t be long before you feel more positive effects than negative ones!

5. You’ll Sleep Better

Lots of people scroll through social media shortly before they go to sleep. Some even stay on their phones in their dark bedrooms, checking notifications and interacting with others late at night. This has adverse effects on sleep, according to research, because:

The artificial light disrupts your brain’s natural melatonin production, reducing sleepiness.
Social media can bring anxiety and harmful emotional sources that make sleep more difficult.
Engaging in wakeful activities before bed reduces your brain’s connection to bedtime and drowsiness, making your bedroom less conducive to sleep.
Social media posts can engage the brain and be exciting or interesting, making you feel less restful.

Cut back on social media use at night, and you’ll be able to enjoy much easier sleep, typically with higher quality! It’s also an easy way to reduce your time spent on these platforms. Put the phone away (and keep it away) before bed to shave off hours of weekly social media time.

6. You Stop Fearing Missing Out When You Cut Back On Social Media Use

The fear of missing out, or FOMO, is a genuine problem with social media. You feel the need to know what everyone’s doing and talking about constantly. You click on notifications and scroll through your feed, so you’re never out of the loop. Then you see people having fun without you, and the fear of missing out increases some more. It’s a never-ending cycle!

Cutting back on social media use starts to break the cycle. You’ll slowly overcome FOMO when you spend a lot of your time focused on the real world. You’ll also soon realize that being a little out of the loop isn’t a bad thing. After all, there’s no way to keep track of 100% of what happens online!

7. You Get A Ton Of Free Time

Social media use adds up. Every hour, a few minutes spent on social media adds up to a couple of hours spent on social media per day. A couple of hours spent on social media a day adds up to more than two days a month. Think of all that time you could be spending on something else! You could:

Cook better meals instead of always ordering in or eating out.
Exercise in your chosen way.
Perform a self-care routine and give yourself stress-free rest.
Keep your living space cleaner and more precise.
Have time to devote to your hobbies every day.
Volunteer with a cause you believe in.
Spend time with friends and family in person.
Read a book or listen to an informative podcast.

8. Cut Back On Social Media Use…You Get To Live In The Moment And Real World

You’ll notice that socially intelligent people remain unattached to their phones. Instead, they often practice a lot of mindfulness. They’re aware of themselves, grounded in the real world, and living in the moment. Sure, they might document things for memories, but they don’t feel the need to share that documentation on their favorite platform!

Living in the real world brings you in touch with so many incredible things. You’ll connect to your life and the present without being focused on updating your profile and posting new items. That mindfulness can also bring improved mental health and positivity!

9. You’ll Get More In Touch With Yourself

Social media use can often be a motivating factor in developing your sense of self. You see people you want to be like and try to emanate them. You may even post things on social media that specifically curate an idea of you that isn’t true. Then the feedback you get on those posts determines what you share and how you shape your life. It’s just not healthy!

If you want to get in touch with your true self, cut back on social media use. You’ll realize that the things others care about may not be what you care about, and that’s okay! Your opinion of your own life and what makes you happy is most important. Discover yourself away from the pressures of the internet!

10. Your Relationships Improve When You Decrease Social Media Use

Social media was initially intended to improve connections with others. Unfortunately, our social intelligence has tanked due to poor interactions through such a one-dimensional platform.

This isn’t to say that “technology drives us further apart” – that’s a nuanced topic for another day. But it is a fact that when all your relationships are maintained through a virtual space, you lose some of your relationship and social skills.

When you cut back on social media use, you bring more importance to in-person, meaningful interaction. You’ll improve your relationships by:

Developing high emotional intelligence that improves empathy and understanding.
Reducing the superficial relationships in your life and making space for more face-to-face contact with those who matter.
Arguing less and being more mindful about your words because a virtual medium does not filter you.

If you want to improve your relationship with loved ones, cut back on social media use! Find more people in your life now who should be getting the attention you give to your platforms and posts.

Final Thoughts On Some Things That Happen If You Cut Back On Social Media Use

Technology has its place and purpose, but it shouldn’t be an overwhelming part of your life. Learn to find balance and cut back on your usage of these platforms so you can devote yourself to what matters and reap the benefits of that decision!

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