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Target Promises That Employees Will Never Work Thanksgiving Day Again

November 23, 2021 by Deborah Tayloe

Target retail stores employees have good reason to be thankful this Thanksgiving week–the company promises that they won’t open on Thanksgiving Day. Nor do they intend to return to Thanksgiving day operations. Ever.

Target CO Brian Cornell released the contents of an internal memo the store chain released to its employees with the Associated Press (AP). It said this:

“What started as a temporary measure driven by the pandemic is now our new standard — one that recognizes our ability to deliver on our guests’ holiday wishes both within and well beyond store hours. You don’t have to wonder whether this is the last Thanksgiving you’ll spend with family and friends for a while, because Thanksgiving store hours are one thing we won’t ‘get back to’ when the pandemic finally subsides.”

Why Did Target Make This Change?

So why did Target make this policy change? They did not expressly outline the reason for this decision. Economists and shoppers across the internet speculate about several possible reasons. Here are a few things that possibly went into their decision-making process.

1 – Opening the Doors on Thanksgiving “Stole” Target’s Black Friday Sales

Economists note that Thanksgiving Day store hours across the retail industry came in response to losing sales to Amazon. Instead of bolstering sales, however, many retail chains ended up diminishing their Black Friday sales. In other words, they shifted in-store traffic, splitting it over two days instead of attracting additional shoppers. Without increasing profits, the extra shopping day is unnecessary.

2 – Public Outrage for Target Employees

Stores used to open Thanksgiving at 9 pm, then host huge overnight sales events. This schedule gave their employees time to spend the holiday with their family and friends.

But that changed a few years ago when retailers decided to open up all day. Much to the surprise of these stores, customers did not flock in to snap up the bargains. Instead, many customers did not shop–they stayed home and celebrated. Employees gave up their precious time to ring only a few sales. In fact, many shoppers refused to shop on Thanksgiving Day in solidarity.

3 – Meeting the Chain’s New and Improved Equity Commitment

In general, a disproportionate of people of color work extended hours as retail workers. Target renewed its commitment to providing some of the best working conditions in the retail industry, especially helping to uplift minority communities, in 2020. This decision further reinforces their commitment to their employees among groups who are typically marginalized.

Previously Target took other steps to support equity, including carrying goods made by minority-owned and female-owned businesses, contributing to social justice causes, and celebrating Juneteenth.

4 – Target Changed Their In-Store Sales Strategy

Despite the many obstacles that arose from the coronavirus pandemic, it also became a chance to allow people to reevaluate their lives. Target likely reflected on how they could be a more resilient company. Instead of relying on Black Friday sales, Target and other retail giants have rolled out “Season-Long Savings,” which started in early October. These special sales events encouraged shoppers to snap up great bargains earlier.

Target’s Chief Growth Officer, Christina Hennington, explained this about their October Target Deal Days event:

“…with so many of our guests looking to kick off their shopping early, we’re helping them get a jump start with deals beginning earlier than ever.”

This approach allows retailers to take the strain off their supply chain and provide better customer service.

5 – They Developed a More Robust Online Shopping Experience

Remember how retailers opened on Thanksgiving Day to keep up with Amazon? Over the past years, Target has made a more customer-friendly online shopping experience to be more competitive. Online shoppers have more shopping options on the company’s website. In addition to traditional online orders, they can also choose curbside pickup or quick personal delivery in urban areas.

Final Thoughts on Target Deciding to Close on Thanksgiving Day

Many retailers opened up for Thanksgiving Day to keep up with online behemoths like eBay and Amazon. However, the public largely ignored them. They saw relatively slow sales or even gained negative feedback from concerned shoppers. Even worse, they deprived their employees of the opportunity to enjoy the chance to spend the holiday with their families–precious time they could never get back!

Hopefully, other stores will follow the lead and stay closed like Target.

4 Ways Criticizing Yourself Harms Decision-Making

November 23, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

Have you ever wondered what repercussions are associated with being self-critical? Are you curious to know if there is a link between criticizing yourself and the decisions you make? Is there any way that a negative self-perception could make you make worse decisions?

Nowadays, people are becoming more and more self-critical. Many of the risks associated with being too self-critical are known. Still, one risk that people don’t talk about is a decrease in decision-making capabilities. While it might seem like the two are unrelated, seeing yourself in a negative life can harm your decision-making process.

Why Do People Criticize Themselves?

Many people think that criticizing themselves is a great thing to do. And while some degree of self-criticism is necessary to hold yourself accountable and improve yourself, most people go overboard. The main issue with someone being self-critical is that many people don’t understand the difference between constructive and destructive criticism.

Most people cross that fine line between being critical and falling into a negative mindset. Instead of acknowledging what they could fix, they end up beating themselves down for no reason. Self-criticism sets unrealistically high standards. It makes people punish themselves when these standards are unmet.

As those standards are unrealistic, they are not met more often than not, so they are derogatory quite often. Psychologist Golan Shahar says that there are two main reasons why people become self-critical. Firstly, because of critical and punitive families. Secondly, vulnerable genetics create the tendency to look inward and pick up flaws.

Childhood trauma is the most pressing issue that pushes people to be self-critical. Many people grow up without praise, fearing punishment at all times. If you lived through that, you would continue to be a perfectionist in your adult life. You start believing that being tough on yourself can be used as motivation. You might even start thinking that self-compassion is self-indulgence, so you start straying away from showing yourself kindness.

4 Ways Criticizing Yourself Harms Decision-Making

At its core, self-criticism is a habit. And, like all other habits, it can be unlearned. You need to understand why that habit was formed and why it still exists to stop doing it successfully. Self-criticism is a bad habit that can harm many aspects of your life. But, how can it hurt the decision-making process, and how can you do to unlearn it?

1. It Makes You Self-Conscious

Fundamentally, self-criticism means picking yourself apart to see what you are doing wrong. While you might have good intentions when doing that, it doesn’t allow you to focus on the good in you. To be self-critical, you always have to point out the negative, which diminishes someone’s self-esteem.

All people have some issues with self-esteem. You might not like certain features. You might not like how you do specific tasks. There is a myriad of things that can make you feel self-conscious. In most cases, being self-critical will perpetuate all the little insecurities you have. The worst part is that many things people are self-conscious about can’t even be changed.

If your nose is crooked, you can’t change that without surgery, which is unattainable to most people. The more you pick yourself apart seeking for flaws, the worse your self-esteem will be. People with low self-esteem are usually the ones who can’t make good decisions. They might not take a job they are qualified for because they believe they aren’t smart enough. They might not go on a date because they think they aren’t good-looking enough.

Insecure people can’t have an accurate view of their capabilities, so they will often underestimate themselves. This habit leads to them being scared to decide to take on specific responsibilities. This attitude makes them second-guess themselves, which in turn causes them to make less accurate decisions. The critical voice in the back of your head will keep nagging you until you aren’t even sure what you want anymore.

How To Fix It:

Please become more self-aware. Don’t try to fix all the imperfections you have, instead focus on understanding and accepting your limitations. Just because you aren’t perfect, that doesn’t mean you don’t have a lot of qualities. Focus on what you can do instead of what you can’t, and base your decisions on that.

2. Criticizing Yourself Makes You Overthink

Decisions need to be firm. To make good decisions, you need to be sure about what you want. Even if you aren’t sure about the correctness of your decision, you need to be at least able to take a risk. A decision needs to be clear and concrete, so overthinking is the last thing that will help you make decisions.

Criticizing yourself non-stop will make you lose trust in who you are. It makes you dig and dig for any minor flaw in your logic. This can lead to you bouncing from one idea to another, dropping them the second you find something wrong. You want to make a good decision so bad, so you start worrying and overthinking. But that slows down the mental processes needed to make decisions. When you try to examine all the little details of a dozen different choices, you will exhaust your brain.

Instead of having a smooth process, you force your brain into an uncomfortable position. Thus, you make it much harder for your brain to choose between many options. It is much better to brainstorm a few options, pick one, and go in-depth with that idea. If you try going into detail with each one, and you compare them after, you can quickly get confused. Instead of overthinking, focus on the goal you want to achieve.

How To Fix It:

In many cases, it’s much better to be instinctual. Your instincts come from all the experiences you have ever had in your life. While you might not remember everything you’ve ever done, your brain remembers subconsciously. It knows how to lead you on the right path. Go with what your gut tells you, and perfect that solution.

3. Criticizing Yourself Makes You Become A Perfectionist

Self-critical people become like this because of specific past events. Those events are usually traumatic, like living in an environment where you are punished for every slight misstep. They develop a fear of punishment, which they associate with not being perfect. Naturally, their brain pushes them to become a perfectionist to try and protect them from getting hurt.

If you are perfect, you can’t be punished for your mistakes because you make none. This idea sounds straightforward if you ignore a massive flaw in the logic of the statement. People can’t be perfect. How good or bad you do certain things is subjective. Someone might think your plan to tackle an issue is impressive, while another might think it’s horrible.

Not only that, but perfectionists set high standards for themselves. In trying to please everyone around them, they become overachievers. These are the people who go to med school even if they hate it because that’s considered one of the best educations you can get. Because they are driven by fear and try to please everyone but themselves, they often make bad decisions.

Sure, those decisions might not objectively be bad. Choosing to go to med school could never be described as bad objectively. But the subjective opinion on the matter is more important. Or their decisions might get even worse than that. Their perfectionism might lead them down the overthinking path. So, they make objectively bad decisions because their brain is overworked.

How To Fix It:

To fix this, you need to stop holding yourself to others’ standards and focus on what you like. The less self-critical you become, the more you can focus on yourself. Allow yourself to dream, and drop those unrealistic standards.

4. Criticizing Yourself Might Make You Procrastinate

While many people who are self-critical become perfectionists, there are a lot of them who become procrastinators. This is just as harmful to the decision making-process as striving too high is. When you procrastinate, you force yourself to make rushed, last-minute decisions.

Because of that fear of being punished when they do something wrong, self-critical people might choose to do nothing at all. This is done in the hope that the less you do, the less you will be able to mess up. Thus, you create a habit of only making decisions when you have to. And those decisions are postponed for as long as possible.

These types of decisions are often harmful because they are based on the wrong criteria. Instead of thinking things through, you make choices because of the pressure. You are often driven by emotions, especially negative ones, when you procrastinate. This behavior clouds your judgment and doesn’t allow you to be objective and logical.

How to Fix It:

Instead of waiting until the last moment, you should try to take your time, write things out, and find the time to analyze your options. If you stop being overly self-critical, you can stop being afraid of failure, thus removing the need to procrastinate. If you stop being self-critical, you will become more confident. So, even if you want to keep procrastinating, you will increase your ability to think on the spot.

Final Thoughts On How Criticizing Yourself Harms Decision-Making

Being self-critical has some advantages if done right, but it is a slippery slope. Most people who create a habit out of being self-critical do it in a negative way that harms many aspects of their life. This stems from the fact that a self-critical mentality comes from living in a bad environment where you are constantly judged. If you’ve experienced a lot of criticisms in your early life, the trauma will stay with you for your adult life. This will disallow you from being self-critical in a positive way, thus harming your decision-making process.

Self-critical people have low self-esteem, tend to overthink, and are either perfectionists or procrastinators. All these characteristics lead to you making worse choices. Whether it is because of fear, pressure, lack of time, or whatever other reason, your decisions will not be the best ones you could make if the context were different. Instead of engaging in self-criticism, you should become more self-aware and focus on your strengths rather than your weaknesses. Try to build up your confidence, trust your instincts, and don’t overthink things too much.

5 Things Easy Going People Do Without Realizing It

November 23, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

Do you know people who always seem so easy going? They just let it wash over them and come out with a smile and no stress no matter what happens. It’s such a desirable and impressive way to live life, and for many, it isn’t easy to achieve!

Easy going individuals like that uniquely live their lives. If you’d like to emulate their energy, learning about their habits and behaviors can give you some insight into how to do so. You can also avoid some of the pitfalls they may fall into if you understand their actions! Here are five things easygoing people do without realizing it.

1. Easy Going People Focus On Positive Things

Easy going people always seem to be happy. Their minds are naturally optimistic, focusing on good things over bad. They can maintain healthy groundedness and realism without losing themselves to pessimism and negativity. Here are some ways that they manage to do this:

· They’re Always Grateful

Gratitude is a huge predictor of life satisfaction, according to studies. The more grateful you are, the more grateful you can become. This is because the ability to be thankful for silver linings continually rewires your brain. It trains you to continue to seek out positivity in the world around you and the situations you’re in. That’s why easy going people find a way to immerse everything in gratitude.

· Easy Going People Don’t Engage In Negative Self-Talk

Of course, easygoing people can experience self-doubt, and many will still struggle with an inner critic! But they can keep it low-key by putting a positive spin on their negative thoughts. Over time, this habit diminishes negative inner voices and replaces them with self-kindness.

· They Smile And Laugh A Lot

Easy going people know that humor is the best way to get through various difficult situations. This doesn’t mean that they engage in toxic positivity! No, it’s quite the contrary. They want to laugh, smile, and find reasons to be happy to make their lives easier and more fulfilling. When difficult times are upon them, maintaining the capacity to smile can be very powerful!

2. Easy Going People Have Positive Interactions With Others

Look for these behaviors in personal interactions and communications.

· They Take An Interest In Others

Easy going people are entirely genuine in their interactions with others. They ask lots of questions to the people around them to get to know those they spend time with. Research shows that people naturally find question-askers to be much more likable. And, of course, easygoing people listen well to the answers to their questions. They ask all these things because they genuinely have such a deep interest in the people around them! That kind of authenticity can’t be faked.

· They’re Not Clingy

Easy going individuals aren’t needy with those in their lives. While some degree of clinginess isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it can become toxic quickly. Easy going people aren’t at risk of this. They’re happy to go with the flow, and they respect that others have their own lives. Why? Well, because they value their fulfillment, too! They want others to be able to enjoy that satisfaction.

· They Support Others

Easy going people don’t let envy and selfishness control their interactions with the people around them. They give others genuine compliments and are great cheerleaders. They see the value in surrounding themselves with positive people and know that they also have to be positive to fit into those circles. And they do so effortlessly!

· They Are Reliable

If you need someone you can trust, easy going people are a fantastic go-to. They’re not flaky, they follow through on their promises, and they’re happy to be there for those in need. Many people consider easy going individuals to be pillars of strength, and that’s quite an honor in any group of people!

3. Easy Going People Don’t Internalize Their Problems

Life is filled with various stressors. Easy going people don’t allow those stressors to drag them down completely. They have wisdom that will enable them to relax in the face of difficulty.

This is not to say that easy going people never become anxious or overwhelmed! They’re human beings, too, and they have emotions and are affected by different issues. But they never take that pain too far to the point that it becomes internalized. This reaction means they don’t overreact and prefer not to take things overly personally. Instead:

· They Are Proactive, Not Reactive

They pause when faced with difficulties and take a deep breath before taking further steps. They are willing to process their thoughts in silence before taking any action and value objective perspective.

· They Maintain Mindfulness Throughout Various Stressors

They know how to allow events and words to wash over them, viewing their emotions as passing clouds. This habit allows them to absorb input calmly, with kindness leading them.

· They Know This Isn’t Permanent

They have a concept that “this too shall pass,” and as such, they do not dwell significantly on complex emotions. They know that pain and suffering are temporary and take each day one step at a time.

Easy going people are also very good at determining whether or not something deserves their attention. Because they don’t internalize how they feel, they don’t prioritize things that they deserve. This means:

They ask themselves if something matters in the long run before dedicating a lot of time and effort to them. If these things won’t matter tomorrow or in a week, they move on and focus on taking things step by step. This behavior allows things to roll off of them.
They don’t dwell on the things that they can’t change. They see no point in internalizing problems related to the weather, random events, or various risks. Instead, their attention is focused on what they can do in those situations, instead of blaming themselves.
They build up their personal feelings of self-esteem so that they can handle various issues with confidence.

4. Sometimes, Easy Going People Get Taken Advantage Of

Easygoing people sometimes don’t realize that they’re going too far for others. Their relaxed nature means they tend not to notice various forms of negativity until it’s too late. In some ways, that laid-back, low-key personality works against them. It’s unfortunate, but many easy-going individuals need to learn to set firmer boundaries and enforce them well. The trouble is even noticing that someone’s taking advantage of them, to begin with!

Some struggles like this include:

Having to be a mediator between more headstrong individuals.
Often being considered a pushover or a doormat.
Having their opinions dismissed or ignored because they’ll be most likely to be willing to compromise.
Not wanting to stand up for themselves because they’d rather keep things low-key.
Constantly being the person who has to be strong or relied upon.
People believe they’ll be fine and happy with anything and everything.
Trying to avoid drama but being relied upon as a good and reliable ear anyway.
People ignore their boundaries because of how relaxed they are, believing they won’t care.

This is not a statement against easy-going personalities, of course! It’s a positive trait in most situations. But, like all human beings, those who are easy going have their weaknesses. Naturally, being so relaxed makes them more susceptible to the unsavory motives of those who want to take advantage of them. They’re able to counteract this by building sound support systems and not feeling compelled to please others.

5. Easy Going People Live A Carefree Life

Easy going people live a happy, carefree life. Their daily habits are all centered around belief in a low-key but fulfilling experience. When their whole life is so immersed in easy-going routines, it’s only natural that this shows in their personality and actions! Here are some ways that they do this:

· They Make The Choice To Be Happy

Being happy isn’t easy, but easygoing people know how to achieve that. Research shows that this is true, and the effort put into being happier already makes you happy! Even when faced with mood disorders, easy going people are determined to live happy and fulfilling life. They may stumble and struggle, but they have no interest in sitting around and feeling sorry for themselves. They have taken personal responsibility for their happiness.

· They Don’t Care What People Think

There’s so much power in knowing that your opinion is the only one that matters most in your life. Easy going people have learned this skill well. They don’t care what others say of them. They know someone will always have something negative to say, and they know they can’t please everyone. Yes, there are people that easy going individuals do care about the opinions of. But those are the people who matter to them – their loved ones, mentors, and sources of inspiration. Not the opinions of the status quo or random acquaintances!

· They Make Time For Their Passions

Hobbies are what keep you alive and thriving. Easy going people spend their time on things that they love and enjoy. This makes them happier in the long run. Sure, there are some necessities they don’t like, but it’s counteracted by all the passions they can pursue with joy!

· They’re Spontaneous

Easy going people are excellent at going with the flow. They say “yes” often – within their energy means – and love going through arbitrary decisions! They don’t push against the tide unless they need to. This isn’t to say that they never forge their path. They know how to pick their battles and can ride the waves well.

· They Make Time For Themselves

Self-care is so often overlooked – but not by easy going people! They always make time for themselves, taking care of their bodies and treating themselves with kindness and balance. Furthermore, they engage in their spiritual and mental health. They make time for “me-time,” and they love their own company!

Final Thoughts On Some Things Easy Going People Do Without Realizing It

Easy going people are often happy and relaxed. They know how to deal with various complicated features of their life and don’t let themselves get dragged down. Learning to practice their traits in mindful and aware ways can help you become more easy going in your life, too!

5 Signs of a Vindictive Partner Too Many People Don’t Realize

November 22, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

Are you scared that your partner will look to enact revenge if you try to leave? Do you feel stuck and unable to take your life into your own hands? Do you feel like your partner is controlling your life or vindictive?

Many people have had to fear that their abusive partner will become vindictive if they try to leave. And they are scared of what the future might hold if they decide to take that risk. Will your partner try to make the people around you turn against you? How will their revenge look like?

No matter what the risks might be, being with a vindictive partner takes a more significant toll on your well-being than the revenge itself could ever take. And if you are still unsure if the moment is right or not, here are five signs it’s time to give up on that person.

How Does A Vindictive Partner Behave?

Vindictive people look to enact revenge on people who they see as having wronged them. They hold grudges for a long time and will do anything to get back at you.

In relationships, these are the people who want you to get the short end of the stick no matter what. They will not make sacrifices for your well-being. Instead, they will try to make you be the one to sacrifice everything. They are selfish, and as long as they’re good, that’s all that matters.

For some people, being with someone vindictive looks like being threatened that the breakup will leave you virtually bankrupt. Or maybe you’ll lose your kids as a result of a separation or divorce. They are the people who will do everything in their power to leave you with nothing. Indeed, they are toxic and abusive, instilling a “choose me or have nothing” mentality in the people around them.

These selfish people are resentful and angry, taking it out on the people around them. If they do something wrong, the ones they love will feel the repercussions. Being with someone vindictive always leads to an abusive relationship, and you will become surrounded by negativity.

5 Signs You Should Leave Your Vindictive Partner

As a result of such a negative relationship, people will remain emotionally scarred. It is common to struggle with depression, anxiety, self-doubt, isolation, confusion, and fear because of a vindictive partner.

1. Every Conversation You Have Is Negative

Communication is the cornerstone of every healthy relationship. Whether it is a romantic or platonic relationship, healthy dialogue should be prioritized. Especially when that connection is romantic, communication becomes that much more critical.

Vindictive people are filled with rage. They struggle with anger management, having a deep-rooted negativity mindset. They refuse to talk through things when they get angry because that would necessitate a compromise. But a settlement is the last thing a vindictive person wants. They want to take out their rage on people who wronged them, in this case, on their partner. Sacrifices would mean that they couldn’t get the revenge they desperately looked for.

If they finally accept to talk, they never want to do it face to face. They don’t want their partner to see them while they make compromises. When they don’t talk with you face to face, it’s easier for them to lie and manipulate. They can make it seem like they are making sacrifices when, in reality, they are just trying to get off the hook while remaining vindictive.

Because of their attitude and the lack of communication, relationships with vindictive people become abusive psychologically, emotionally, or physically. It’s a common occurrence for a vengeful partner to get out their anger by sashing things or even hitting you. According to psychologist and relationship coach Madeleine Mason Roantree, when a relationship becomes even slightly abusive, it’s time for you to flee.

2. You Aren’t Yourself Around Them

Vindictive people can be scary, especially if you are in a relationship with them. The constant, looming threat that they will enact revenge if you ever make a misstep makes you walk on eggshells.

If you have to deal with someone who threatens to take their anger out on you, you will do everything in your power not to upset them. Their volatility and instability will start governing your actions. This can change the way you act. You will stop doing the things you like if that means they don’t get upset.

If they have an issue with you hanging out with certain friends, you will stop seeing them in the hopes that they won’t take their anger out on you. They will get mad and start yelling at you for going out too much, seeing friends, spending money on certain things, or whatever else. This will deter you from engaging in that action again.

In an abusive relationship like that, you are constantly forced to change who you are not to get hurt. You feel judged and pressured to be a certain way. And, because you need that validation from your partner, you will change yourself. This chips at your self-esteem and makes you believe there’s something wrong with you. The reality is that the only one who’s in the wrong is your partner.

Sometimes these are the people who even start making decisions for you, whether directly or indirectly. Some are more subtle. They play mind-games with you until you start feeling like you only have one option (the option they want you to choose). Other vindictive people straight-up tell you that if you don’t do what they want, you will suffer the repercussions.

If you notice behavior that resembles this in your relationship, try to get yourself out of that situation. Start relying on yourself, and understand that you can always fight against their revenge.

3. They Don’t Take Responsibility For Their Actions

An abusive partner, especially a vindictive one, will try their hardest to avoid taking responsibility. They strive to present themselves as perfect like their moral compass is flawless. They are such good actors that you might even start believing that what you do is wrong and immoral if they disapprove.

Because they don’t hold themselves accountable, they don’t have to admit that things can be improved about them. Not only that, but they blamed everyone but themselves. If you are the partner of such a person, expect to be blamed for everything that goes wrong in their life. Did they lose their job? It’s because they had to sacrifice precious work time to spend time with you. Did they gain weight? It’s because of what you cook. Nothing that happens to them is ever their fault.

This behavior is emotionally abusive. It makes you feel responsible for your partner. It makes you feel like you have to do everything in your power to ensure their well-being. They put you down to build themselves up. Even in the rare case if when they recognize doing something wrong, they’ll promise to change, but they’ll never do it. They will resist change at all costs.

This behavior coming from a partner can hold you back. You might find yourself postponi9ing your dreams to make theirs happen because of fear or other factors. If you find yourself experiencing this, understand that even in a relationship, you both are responsible for your actions as individuals. You are not their parent, and they are not a child. Whatever happens to them, that’s on them.

4. They Isolate You From Your Support Systems

Vindictive and toxic partners keep people in abusive relationships by isolating them from their support systems. Whether that’s family, a hobby, your workplace, or whatever else, they will go out of their way to cut your ties with that system.

People naturally lean on other people or things to validate and strengthen to get through tough times. If you don’t have that, and all you have in life is a vindictive partner, you will stay with them out of fear of being alone forever if you leave them. This means you should be aware not to let this happen in a relationship.

Whenever you enter a new relationship, watch to see if your partner tries to slowly isolate you from everyone and everything but them. If they manipulate you and try to convince you to give up your hobby to have more time for them, that’s a definite red flag. If they try to get you to stop seeing your best friends, that’s another red flag.

There are more ways through which they can isolate you, but the mechanisms are similar. They put forward a trade-off: either choose them but let go of people and things you love, or don’t let go of the things you love but lose them. If you notice this behavior once or twice, that’s a little weird but not concerning yet. But if it keeps happening, that’s a sign you should get far away from that person as fast as you can.

Reach out to people and ask for help. Don’t sugarcoat how things are. If you’ve cut ties with your family because of a person like this, that doesn’t mean you can reconnect. They can help you get out of that situation.

5. They Micromanage You

Vindictive people are also territorial. They have the unhealthy mindset that the people they’re with are like their property, and they can manage them. While people being protective of their partners is alright, these people are straight-up controlling.

These people will gaslight and manipulate you to the point where you are scared to make your own decisions. You either let them make decisions, or you ask for their permission for everything. They trespass boundaries and monitor your every step.

If your partner tries to do that, it’s a clear red flag, and you should break up with them as soon as possible.

Final Thoughts On Signs You Should Give Up On A Vindictive Partner

Vindictive people are often abusive and controlling. While they might seem redeemable at first, trying to stick by them is a waste of time. The primary way they enact emotional abuse is through manipulation, gaslighting, and threats. They will make it seem like if you leave, they will enact revenge on you. Luckily, they are all bark and no bite. Don’t let them intimidate you and go when things start to get toxic.

4 Effective Ways To Manage A Narcissistic Spouse (And When To Give Up)

November 22, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

Do you feel like you are always second-best in the eyes of your partner? Do they always have something more meaningful in their life than you are? And do you feel like this dynamic is taking a toll on your emotional well-being? Having a narcissistic spouse that tends to neglect you or disrespect your needs can be frustrating.

Especially after a while together, narcissistic traits might appear when people feel comfortable and start putting in less effort. While being a little selfish from time to time isn’t the end of the world, having that behavior be repeated is a red flag. So, what can you do to manage this relationship? And when is it the time to let it go?

What Is Narcissism?

If your spouse is a narcissist, that means they are self-involved above all else. This behavior makes a person ignore the needs of others. Usually, narcissists see themselves as better than most. Many people can display narcissistic traits in their day-to-day lives, but that can be an issue when those traits become core values. Mainly because they are your spouse, they should protect you and your feelings.

But a narcissistic spouse would sacrifice your well-being without giving it much thought. If they show frequent disregard of your feelings, that is clear selfish behavior. They don’t understand how their actions can affect others, and they don’t care. This behavior can develop cam lead to a personality disorder called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In that sense, narcissism is a spectrum. Not all narcissists have NPD. Only the people on the higher end of the spectrum might suffer from NPD.

The people on the lower end are still narcissists but don’t suffer from this mental health disorder. Narcissism is not always an overt behavior. While that’s true in most cases, a narcissist doesn’t have to be honest about their true self. This behavior is not all about being loud and flashy. Recently, in-depth studies on this behavior have determined two types of narcissism: covert and overt. Covert narcissism is a behavior that can be concealed easier.

Covert narcissists are introverted and reserved. A study at NYU determined that narcissism often stems from insecurity. Because of that, even they need reassurance. If your spouse seems insecure and innocent, that might not show their true nature. It is essential to look beyond the surface. If your spouse is selfish, manipulative, self-absorbed, or displays any other similar traits, that is a red flag.

After a long time together, people can start being more self-centered than at the beginning of the relationship. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as sometimes that happens because people get more comfortable with each other. That doesn’t mean that you should let your spouse neglect you. In those cases, their narcissistic behavior can be managed.

How To Manage Your Relationship With A Narcissistic Spouse (And Signs You Should Give Up)

What can you do to ensure your spouse stops being narcissistic, and what is the point where you should give up and leave?

1. Set Boundaries With a Narcissistic Spouse

When dating a narcissist, you will eventually have to create strict boundaries to protect your needs and wants. While this might seem like it will infringe on the whole idea of romance, it’s much better to draft a clear set of rules. Otherwise, you will never get what you need to form that relationship.

Most people you date will display some narcissistic traits from time to time. Being distant, exhibiting low levels of empathy, being selfish, all these behaviors can lead to a negative relationship. And it doesn’t just affect a relationship, but it can affect you on an individual level. Narcissism in a partner can mean you have to sacrifice your well-being if you want to avoid fighting. This way, you will end up neglecting your needs. Not only that, but your partner will slowly see that there’s no need to satisfy your desires if you accept all his negative behaviors.

If you want to avoid this, you have to set strict guidelines for your partner to follow, and if they can’t follow them, set an ultimatum. Make them understand that they either respect what you need or you walk away. That’s also the best way to figure out if it’s worth staying. If he refuses to respect your boundaries, that’s your cue to leave them.

Amongst the boundaries, you can set in place are things like asking your partner to communicate more. If they want to go out after work, they should tell you instead of showing up late at night and getting mad at you asking where they’ve been. And this is just an example. Sit down with your partner and go through a list of needs and wants and what you can do to fulfill them for the both of you.

2. Don’t Make Excuses For a Narcissistic Spouse

When faced with the fact that your partner has some negative behaviors, you might be inclined to make excuses for them. Your loved one might exhibit selfish behavior, but in many cases, you will refuse to see it. That might happen for the sake of your relationship staying the same because you don’t want to enrage them, or you might have other reasons.

If you notice your partner being self-absorbed, don’t try to dig for excuses as to why what they’re doing is alright. No amount of work or other responsibilities can legitimize your partner ignoring your needs or being emotionally abusive. Beware of narcissists as they can be very charming when they need to.

If you don’t proceed with caution around them, they might manipulate and gaslight you. You risk being put in a place where you might start believing you are in the wrong for questioning them. This acceptance can let them blame you for their wrongful actions.

Instead of making excuses for them, if you notice suspicious behavior, you have to start being extra cautious around them. You need to understand that if you are on the receiving end of narcissistic behavior, you are the victim. You are entitled to having your needs met. If your partner gets mad when trying to hold them accountable, that’s a sign that you need to back away.

3. Find A Support System

In any relationship squabble, having a third party to guide you along the way can help create a channel of communication between you. And, if that’s not what you need or want, a support system can help you get out of the toxic environment and do things for yourself.

Many narcissistic people have the mentality that they’re better than others. And, if you are fighting one-on-one, that mentality can give them the confidence to tear you down. Asking someone that isn’t directly involved in the situation to act as a ‘referee’ can help you communicate better. If you want to tell them that you have certain issues with the way they act, it can help to have a mutual acquaintance of the two of you back you up. Having more people that share the same opinion will make a narcissist listen, as they will want to tweak their behavior until they are liked again. This societal pressure can give you the best opportunity to get their undivided attention and listen to you.

Even if that third party doesn’t succeed in facilitating communication between the two of you, they can help you with your emotions. Having a solid support system can help you get over a toxic relationship. Whenever your partner leaves you emotionally drained, the people you surround yourself with can help you put yourself back together.

And, if you feel that you need to let go of that relationship, a support system can help you through that.

4. Call Out Your Narcissistic Spouse

If there is something specific that you can call them out on, you should do it. Narcissists are concerned with how society perceives them, so if it’s something that might affect the social aspect of their lives, they will listen.

These are the types of people that need to understand that you are indispensable, and they can’t take you for granted. As long as you stay silent, they won’t take the time to scrutinize themselves. But as soon as you point out objective flaws they have, they will be forced to listen. It’s important to stay calm, be accurate, and state facts when addressing them.

Expect them to respond defensively when you try to call them out. Narcissists don’t want to accept that they could ever do something wrong. They will fight with all they have before they accept. They are flawed. But when they eventually do, they will be open to communicating openly.

As long as you make it clear that you are entitled to your opinions, they will have to give in and treat you as an equal. And if they refuse to listen, then you know you can’t reach them. If you call them out, and they keep being toxic, that’s your cue to leave them.

Final Thoughts On How To Manage A Narcissistic Spouse And When You Should Give Up

Dealing with a narcissistic spouse can be very frustrating and emotionally draining. In a relationship, a person who exhibits narcissistic behaviors can become toxic quickly. If your partner is a bit selfish from time to time, that’s not something you should be concerned about. Everyone can be a little self-centered sometimes. But if these behaviors continue for a prolonged period, then you might have to start being a little concerned.

If you see your partner exhibit repetitive narcissistic behavior, that doesn’t mean you have to give up on them from the start. There are ways in which you can manage these behaviors. Setting boundaries, calling them out on their mistakes, all these things can help keep negativity at bay. But, the most crucial step is to remember that you are the victim in this situation.

Don’t make excuses, and remember that their charm doesn’t make up for how they’ve hurt you. If you can’t deal with this on your own, build a robust support system to guide you along the way. If you see that your partner doesn’t agree to go along with any of these, you should seriously consider leaving them.

Research Explains: How Can Memories Help You Cope With Loss?

November 22, 2021 by Lakeisha Ethans

Losing someone is arguably the worst experience someone can go through. You are left wondering how you will ever be able to accept that you will never see that person again. How will you deal with your inability to call them and tell them about your day? How will you handle never being around them again? Will the grief you feel ever stop? And what are you supposed to do to cope with loss?

Grief is a crushing feeling that can make even the strongest people crumble. And, while no grieving person wants to hear this, you will eventually get over it. But the journey towards healing is complex, and you should know how to handle everything. One thing that can help is using memories in the process. Remembering and honoring the people you have lost can bring you absolute comfort. So, how can memories help you cope with losing a loved one?

What Is Grief?

Grief is an overwhelming emotion following the loss of a loved one. It is one of the most challenging emotions, as it instills fear, anger, and sadness into people. Regardless of how you lost that person, grief is still crushing. No matter how old, young, sick, or healthy the person who died was, it will still feel like the end of the world when they pass away.

Grieving is a natural response to loss. Not all people react to it in the same way. Some people might feel numb, which is the brain’s way of protecting itself against the whirlwind of emotions. Others will be angry. Some might feel like all the happiness has been sucked out of their lives. But, regardless of how you outwardly express it, a healthy grieving process has five stages:

· Denial

Death is such an abstract concept that people have a hard time grasping that someone has dies. You are so used to the people you love being around you that you can’t imagine them gone. And, once they aren’t anymore, they will never be again. The human brain has a hard time processing that. Even if you knew that person would die, you would still be in denial when it happens. It is normal to feel shocked or numb at first.

· Anger

After you get over the stage of denial, you will feel anger next. A person you love has been taken away from you, so naturally, you will want to find someone to blame. You will blame the Universe, the deities you believe in, or others. As reality sets in, you will start to feel frustrated, and the only thing you will feel like you can do is to be angry. Sometimes, you might even feel angry that the person has passed away and left you alone.

· Bargaining

Death is something inevitable, but that doesn’t mean people aren’t going to try to reverse it. Even if logically you know you can’t, you will do whatever you can just in case. If there’s a chance in a million that you will bring your loved one back, you will do anything to achieve that. This is the stage in which people start wondering “what if.” What if they had taken more care of that person? What if they could have bought them a few more moments. Or what if they had done something to prevent this? You will start trying to bring that person back. People will even try to strike deals with a higher power in this stage.

· Depression

When you see that you can’t bargain your way out of the situation, you will start feeling depressed. You will feel defeated, sad, and lost. As you cope with loss, you begin to understand that the loss is irreversible. You start to figure out how that death will affect your life. You will know that the person who passed will miss important moments of your life, and you can do nothing. It is normal to have a wave of sadness wash over you.

· Acceptance

The last stage is when you finally accept that loss and its repercussions on your life. You understand that the loss can’t be undone and that you will have to adjust your life to fill the gap of that loss. You will still be sad, which will most likely never go away. But you will finally be able to move on with your life.

Memories can help you through all these stages. From the beginning to the end, having a way to remember the person you lost will be a crutch you can lean on. So, how can you use memories to help you cope with losing a loved one?

How Memories Can Help You Cope With The Loss Of A Loved One

1. Memories Can Be Used To Honor The Person You’ve Lost and Cope With the Loss

Since the dawn of time, people have memorialized events and people so that they wouldn’t ever be forgotten. The cavemen would draw paintings on the walls of their caves to remember what they’d been through. Vikings would give their gods offerings to ensure the Valhalla people would have a good afterlife. All our traditions and monuments exist because people need to remember the past.

Different scientists have theorized different things about why exactly people need to memorialize. Some believe it is because memorializing allows people to explore the meaning of life. Others think it will enable people to authenticate their part in the grieving process. Some think that memorializing is a way for people to feel like they are still connected to the ones they lost. Honoring the ones you’ve lost plays a big part in this process.

One of the things that people are most afraid of when they lose something is the possibility of forgetting about that loss. But when you honor the dead, you make a proactive effort to remember what they did for you. Looking through albums, thinking about everything you did together can help you remember them as you should.

You would never want to remember a tainted version of the person you lost. When you honor someone, you want to do their life story justice. You can use those memories to share who that person was with other people. If you lost your parents before you had kids, you would want photos to show your kids who their grandparents were.

No matter which stage of grief you are in, honoring your loss can help you find some moments of happiness in the sea of sadness. You will know that the one you’ve lost hasn’t lived in vain. You will know that the time you’ve spent with them was precious.

2. Memories Can Help You Cope With Loss

Losing someone is an abrupt experience. Whether you were expecting it or not, having someone disappear from your life in a split second requires adjustment. It is almost impossible to make that abrupt transition without finding ways to alleviate the pain. Using memories to remember the times you shared with that person can help you gradually adjust to your new reality.

During the grieving process, you will feel the need to reconnect to the person you’ve lost. Because you can’t physically be there with that person, the next best thing is to connect with them on a spiritual level. That involves using memories to remember them. You can recall something you did together, look at a video of them, or think about who they were to you. The moments you spend remembering them can be little escapes from your overwhelming sadness. It will bring you enough comfort to push through the day. Over time, you can move from avoiding thinking about them to accepting reality.

A study from the University of Florida showed that while remembering can be painful, the connection you feel can comfort you. It will diminish your anger and make you feel less sad and alone.

3. Memories Can Help You Cope With Loss

While it might seem like remembering the people you’ve lost doesn’t let you fully come to terms with the reality that they’re gone, that’s not true. Some people might think memories are a way to hang on to that person desperately. But they are a tool that helps you be more accepting.

Remembering the person who passed makes you have to face that they aren’t there anymore. When you look at a picture, you won’t be able to pretend that they could walk into the room at any moment. You will have to recognize the reality of the loss. Memories can also help you validate your feelings. Remembering how much you cared about them will be a trigger that will make the emotions flow out of you. Looking at a video or photo will elicit some emotional response if you’re feeling numb. Bottling your feelings will never allow you to cope with the loss of a loved one. But the more you allow yourself to feel, the more you will be forced to deal with them.

Reminiscing on the past can also connect you with others sharing your loss. Talking to a friend about the person you’ve lost can connect you on a deep level. It can give you the proper context in which to help each other through the pain. The more you talk with someone about the loss, the more natural it will feel. And those people can be a shoulder to cry on when you need them to be.

Final Thoughts On How Memories Can Help You Cope With The Loss Of A Loved One

Coping with the loss of a loved one is one of the hardest things a person has to do in their life. Feeling lost and confused about what you should do to get your life back together is natural. And no secret recipe can promise you that you will immediately heal. You have to go through all five stages of grief. That being said, there are ways in which you can make this journey easier.

Memories can be a strong tool to guide you along the way. Remembering the one you’ve lost can help you honor the person who passed away. It can give you the emotional comfort you need. Memories bring you closer to acceptance. You will have to work much more to get through the grieving process.

But going down memory lane will allow you to have the time to think about what happened and healthily cope with everything.

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Why Did Target Make This Change?

1 – Opening the Doors on Thanksgiving “Stole” Target’s Black Friday Sales

2 – Public Outrage for Target Employees

3 – Meeting the Chain’s New and Improved Equity Commitment

4 – Target Changed Their In-Store Sales Strategy

5 – They Developed a More Robust Online Shopping Experience

Final Thoughts on Target Deciding to Close on Thanksgiving Day

Why Do People Criticize Themselves?

4 Ways Criticizing Yourself Harms Decision-Making

1. It Makes You Self-Conscious

How To Fix It:

2. Criticizing Yourself Makes You Overthink

How To Fix It:

3. Criticizing Yourself Makes You Become A Perfectionist

How To Fix It:

4. Criticizing Yourself Might Make You Procrastinate

How to Fix It:

Final Thoughts On How Criticizing Yourself Harms Decision-Making

1. Easy Going People Focus On Positive Things

· They’re Always Grateful

· Easy Going People Don’t Engage In Negative Self-Talk

· They Smile And Laugh A Lot

2. Easy Going People Have Positive Interactions With Others

· They Take An Interest In Others

· They’re Not Clingy

· They Support Others

· They Are Reliable

3. Easy Going People Don’t Internalize Their Problems

· They Are Proactive, Not Reactive

· They Maintain Mindfulness Throughout Various Stressors

· They Know This Isn’t Permanent

4. Sometimes, Easy Going People Get Taken Advantage Of

5. Easy Going People Live A Carefree Life

· They Make The Choice To Be Happy

· They Don’t Care What People Think

· They Make Time For Their Passions

· They’re Spontaneous

· They Make Time For Themselves

Final Thoughts On Some Things Easy Going People Do Without Realizing It

How Does A Vindictive Partner Behave?

5 Signs You Should Leave Your Vindictive Partner

1. Every Conversation You Have Is Negative

2. You Aren’t Yourself Around Them

3. They Don’t Take Responsibility For Their Actions

4. They Isolate You From Your Support Systems

5. They Micromanage You

Final Thoughts On Signs You Should Give Up On A Vindictive Partner

What Is Narcissism?

How To Manage Your Relationship With A Narcissistic Spouse (And Signs You Should Give Up)

1. Set Boundaries With a Narcissistic Spouse

2. Don’t Make Excuses For a Narcissistic Spouse

3. Find A Support System

4. Call Out Your Narcissistic Spouse

Final Thoughts On How To Manage A Narcissistic Spouse And When You Should Give Up

What Is Grief?

· Denial

· Anger

· Bargaining

· Depression

· Acceptance

How Memories Can Help You Cope With The Loss Of A Loved One

1. Memories Can Be Used To Honor The Person You’ve Lost and Cope With the Loss

2. Memories Can Help You Cope With Loss

3. Memories Can Help You Cope With Loss

Final Thoughts On How Memories Can Help You Cope With The Loss Of A Loved One

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