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Research Explains 8 Symptoms of Stress That Harm Your Brain

June 15, 2020 by Power of Positivity

We all encounter stress in various forms in today’s busy world. But over time, the symptoms of anxiety can harm our brain and other facets of health. Biologically, stress activates our fight-or-flight response initially designed to protect us against immediate threats. However, in our modern world, we have constant stressors that can impair our judgment and cause lasting damage to our health.

According to a poll by the American Psychiatric Association, anxiety and stress levels have reached an all-time high. Among 1,000 U.S. adults asked about their stress and anxiety symptoms, almost 40% reported increased anxiety levels compared to the same time the previous year.

Another 39% said they felt the same anxiety levels. And only 19% reported feeling less anxious. People reported concerns with safety, health, and finance as their top sources of stress, while politics and personal relationships followed closely behind.

Below, we’ll talk about what all this stress can do to your brain. We will also suggest several ways to combat the stress so you can feel your best.

Here are eight symptoms of stress that harm your brain:

Increased cortisol levels can cause your brain to shrink.

According to a study published in Neurology, adults in their 40s and 50s who had higher cortisol levels showed more brain shrinkage. Researchers collected brain data from 2,231 participants, with 2,018 getting MRIs to measure brain volume. Participants had their cortisol levels measured in the morning before eating breakfast. The team found that people with higher cortisol levels showed worse cognitive functioning and brain structure. Women had more notable differences in brain structure compared to men with elevated cortisol levels.

Cortisol affects the functioning of many parts of the body, including the brain. Because of this, researchers need to learn how long-term stress can affect an otherwise healthy brain, according to lead author Dr. Justin B. Echouffo-Tcheugui, from Harvard Medical School.

“While other studies have examined cortisol and memory, we believe our large, community-based study is the first to explore, in middle-aged people, fasting blood cortisol levels and brain volume, as well as memory and thinking skills.”

Learning and memory get affected as stress disrupts neural pathways.

A study conducted by the University of California at Berkeley scientists analyzed what happened to the hippocampus of adult rats under chronic stress. Under normal conditions, stem cells in the hippocampus only mature into either neuron, or a type of glial cell called an astrocyte. However, scientists put the rats into stressful situations. They found that stem cells matured into a different kind of glial cell called oligodendrocytes.

These cells produce myelin to protect nerve cells. In turn, they produce fewer neurons. This cycle leads to an excess of white matter in the brain. That new white matter disrupts the communication and delicate balance between cells. Ultimately, too much white matter can cause problems with learning and memory.

If you have too much white matter in the brain, scientists believe this could play a massive part in the development of mental disorders such as PTSD, anxiety, and depression.

Harmful emotional states caused by stress could lead to strokes.

Higher stress levels can elevate cholesterol and blood pressure, which can increase the risk of having a stroke. In one study published in the American Heart Association journal Stroke, more than 6,700 adults between the ages of 45 and 84 filled out questionnaires about chronic stress. They answered questions about risk factors such as anger, hostility, and depression over two years. None of the participants had cardiovascular disease at the start of the study.

After 8.5 to 11 years later, 147 people reported having a stroke, and 48 had transient ischemic attacks (TIAs). Compared to people with the lowest psychological scores, scientists found that those who scored the highest were:

86 percent more likely to have a stroke or TIA if they had depression.
59 percent more likely to have a stroke or TIA if they had chronic stress.
More than twice as likely to have a stroke or TIA if they had hostility.
Anger didn’t significantly raise their risk.

“There’s such a focus on traditional risk factors—cholesterol levels, blood pressure, smoking, and so forth—and those are all very important, but studies like this one show that psychological characteristics are equally important,” lead study author Susan Everson-Rose, Ph.D., MPH, said in the statement.

Increased risk of depression due to an imbalance of brain chemicals.

Among the symptoms of stress, depression may present the most considerable risk in the long-term, as untreated depression can lead to suicide.

While some studies like the one above show that depression can lead to stress, scientists from the National Institute of Mental Health found that stress may pull the trigger first. In mice studies, the ones put under extreme pressure showed less resilience to stress and developed depression-like symptoms. Scientists believe inflammation in the brain, and an imbalance of serotonin and dopamine may cause depression.

Fatigue due to stress can lead to neglect of responsibilities.

Being under constant stress can drain your energy reserves and turn a healthy brain into a disorganized, frazzled one. Work-related stress, specifically, can cause increased fatigue, especially among women. When we feel exhausted, we can easily let our health, exercise routine, and other responsibilities slip since stress just zaps our energy.

Not to mention, feeling tired due to stress can harm your brain because it inhibits cognitive functioning. If you have symptoms of stress, such as constant exhaustion, allow yourself some self-care time to restore your mind, body, and soul.

Increased occurrence of headaches.

When you feel overly stressed, you probably have a million thoughts going through your head. Keep in mind that stress first happens in the brain, and the body simply responds to it. If you have a lot of negative thoughts due to stress, you might notice an increased occurrence of headaches. Occasional headaches don’t pose much of a threat, but if you start having them daily, you might want to see a doctor.

Science explains why stress relief is so important for your health.

Insomnia or oversleeping.

If you have racing thoughts while trying to go to sleep, you likely have unaddressed stressors in your daily life. Among the symptoms of stress, most people would say not being able to sleep creates the most disruption in their lives. To have a healthy brain and body, we need the rejuvenation of sleep.

However, chronic stress can sometimes cause the opposite problem of oversleeping. People turn to different things to deal with stress, and sleep can often serve as an escape from responsibilities and challenges. Too much or too little sleep can harm your brain because it upsets the delicate balance of chemicals in your mind, and this imbalance can cause many of the other symptoms on this list.

In our modern world, many people suffer from both chronic stress and insomnia, and some experts have even called the lack of sleep an epidemic. By addressing stressors in your life, you should see improvements in your sleep quality.

More prone to negative thinking and difficulty controlling emotions.

Unfortunately, humans tend to have a negativity bias, which means we focus more on the negatives in life than the positives. This goes back to our survival instincts because we needed to look for threats in order to protect ourselves and our tribe. In our modern world, however, this biological adaptation can do more harm than good. Negative thinking is one of the symptoms of stress that can harm our brain because it affects everything else in our lives.

A negative outlook on life just feeds a vicious cycle, because the more we focus on the negatives, the less control we will feel over ourselves and our environment. A 2013 study by neuroscientists found that even mild levels of stress can lead to difficulty controlling emotions.

In the study, researchers taught participants stress control techniques. However, after participants had to respond to a mildly stressful event – in this case, dunking their hands in icy water – they couldn’t calm themselves down after being shown pictures of snakes and spiders.

“Our results suggest that even mild stress, such as that encountered in daily life, may impair the ability to use cognitive techniques known to control fear and anxiety,” lead author Candace Raio, Ph.D., said in a press release.

Final thoughts on how symptoms of stress harm your brain

Stress can harm your brain in various ways. It increases your risk of developing a mental illness and having a stroke. Also, it can even cause your brain to shrink and affect your ability to learn effectively. Not to mention, it can lead to fatigue, insomnia, and other chronic problems. However, you can combat stress in the following ways:

Designating a worry period each day and not allowing yourself to stress at any other time.
Exercise and eating healthy.
Creating a healthy brain by practicing relaxation techniques such as meditation and yoga.
Distance yourself from those who add stress to your life.

10 Red Flags That Reveal You’re About to Get Ghosted by Your Partner

June 15, 2020 by Chris Butler

Getting ghosted is the process of someone breaking up with you disrespectfully by not answering phone calls or texts at all. Most of the time, there are signs to make you aware of the problem before it takes you by surprise. Here are ten red flags that reveal you’re about to get ghosted by your partner.

10 Signs You’re About to Get Ghosted

Do you see any of these hints of a partner who wants to move on but lacks the courage to tell you?

1. Unenthusiastic Texting Habits

When a couple is interested in each other, they will keep in contact. One of the easiest ways to stay in touch nowadays is via text. You can tell a lot about how someone feels about you based on their texting habits.

Who is the first one to initiate texts? If you are always the one starting conversation, that could be a sign they don’t care to reach out to you.

Do they text in one-word answers? When you ask someone about their day, and they merely respond with “ok” or “fine,” they aren’t trying to engage in an entire conversation. They could be busy, but they also might not want to talk.

How long does it take to get a response? You want and deserve someone who prioritizes you throughout their busy day. You shouldn’t have to wait for days for an answer. Eventually, a couple of days will turn into absolutely no response at all.

2. Limited or No PDA

Public displays of affection (PDA) are things like holding hands and kissing in public. While gratuitous PDA can be inappropriate and somewhat gross, some public displays are adorable. It’s also a way to show everyone you are with someone.

If your partner refuses to partake in any PDA, it’s a sign they aren’t interested. They want to appear single to the rest of the world.

Now, some people aren’t that into PDA; it makes them uncomfortable. You may even be one of those people yourself. However, when combined with other signs on the list, it could point to someone who will eventually ghost you.

3. Canceled Plans

When you make plans with someone, you should follow through with those plans. However, when someone isn’t very interested, they may cancel those plans when something better comes along. If your date canceled plans, it’s a red flag.

Granted, there are some legitimate reasons why you may need to cancel a date. For example, you may feel sick or have a family matter to tend to. When someone has a legitimate excuse, they will make a point to reschedule. He will also show regret. And, he’ll make the cancellation up to you with a special date or surprise later.

Finally, they will let you know as soon as possible instead of leaving you waiting around for them. Be understanding if it happens once, but you should not allow it to become a pattern. One of these days, you will stop trying to reschedule.

4. Constantly Distracted When Together

You and your date are finally together! Yay! Now, you should pay attention to how attentive they are to you. You don’t want to be out with someone barely paying attention to you. They should not be always on their phone, dazing off into space, or staring at other women the entire night. They should be providing eye contact and engaging in conversation.

Your partner should try getting to know you at every opportunity. It could be a sign they aren’t engaged with the idea of dating you if they aren’t engaged.

According to the National Institutes of Health, attentive mannerisms signify a healthy relationship. Here is what they have to say:

You feel safe talking about how you feel, you listen to each other. You feel valued, and you trust each other. ~NIH

Try asking open-ended questions to get them talking. You can also try telling them they seem distracted, in case they aren’t aware. If they don’t change their behavior to show you the attention you deserve, they may not plan to show you much attention in the future.

5. Not Introducing You to Friends/Family

When someone pictures you in their life, they will also picture you with the other people in their life. If your date hasn’t introduced you to their friends and family after time, they may not plan on ever making you a real part of their life.

Even worse, when you are out together, they see friends but fail to introduce you. It can feel like they are trying to hide you from people. Some people need time to take the next step and introduce you to friends and family, but it shouldn’t take more than a few months.

6. Excessive Pet Names

You may think it’s cute when you get called “babe” or “honey” by your date. It’s a term of endearment that can make you feel affection. However, this may not be as cute as you thought it was.

Some people use pet names as a way to disassociate someone. If they use pet names, you are less of a person to them. Plus, they won’t accidentally call you by another person’s name. Instead, you want to have them use your actual name. Excessive pet names are just a sign that you might soon get ghosted.

7. Not Trying to Impress

If you want to impress somebody, you put time and effort into your appearance. You will shower, get your nails done, shave, do your hair, do your makeup, put on makeup, put on perfume, and wear pretty clothes.

Some people may not be as high maintenance as you, but they should put some effort into their appearance when they know they will see you. Your partner should care not only about their appearance but also the appearance of their home. They should try to clean up a little bit for you.

How does your date look when you come over? Are they a disgusting mess, or have they put some effort into it? Even people who don’t care about how they look will put on a fresh tee shirt and maybe a splash of cologne. They may be thinking about breaking up if they can’t be bothered.

8. Not Opening Up

When you date someone, you will start to get to know each other. You will learn about each other’s interests and hobbies. You will also learn about their aspirations in life and the people who matter to them. At least, you should. Some people aren’t as quick to open up as others, but there should be progress with time.

When people open up to each other, it brings them closer together than ever before. This is how you develop a relationship. If your date isn’t so keen about opening up, you should ask questions. Start by asking questions that aren’t too personal and gradually up the intensity.

Do not talk about things that could be considered too personal at first. You should avoid those conversations for the first couple of dates. With time, you can ask more and more. If you are going to be ghosted, they will likely do everything possible to avoid being vulnerable in front of you.

9. No Talk of the Future

The point of dating is to develop a future together. If you are going to get ghosted, your date isn’t going to want to think about the future with you. It starts with plans.

Can you make plans for the following weekend, or is that too far in the future?
Do you make plans for upcoming events and holidays?
When you talk about the future, do you put each other into that conversation?

You may be picturing a house and family while they may not be thinking past the following day. Some people just aren’t thinking about their future in general. You may need to consider breaking up with someone who seems to be in a perpetual state of adolescence.

Some experts report that shared goals make a couple more likely to begin planning their lives together.

“Notice if you are able to talk about what you want in the future and if your partner is also able to do so as well.” ~Jill Weber Ph.D.

10. You Feel It Coming

You need to learn to trust your intuition. Sometimes you need to get in touch with your feelings and be honest. If you can feel the lack of interest, you need to admit it and move on instead of trying to be with someone who doesn’t make you feel wanted. This can get complicated if you tend to have bad intuition. If you have weak intuition, you should make a point to talk to your partner and let them know if you are worried about getting ghosted. They may hear you and reassure you.

Final Thoughts on Getting Ghosted

Getting ghosted is much worse when you don’t anticipate the end of your relationship. If you are going to get ghosted, you’ll see some of these signs. Use these red flags to prepare yourself for the hurt of this breakup. The more red flags you spot, the better the chance that you will soon be single.

15 Surprising Foods That Cause People to Burp

June 15, 2020 by Power of Positivity

When it comes belching, we all burp from time to time. And some might argue doing so is part of the human experience. To understand why this occurs, it helps to take a look at this involuntary action from a physiological standpoint.

In many cases, burping occurs when we swallow too much air and that air then becomes stuck in the esophagus, a muscular tube that connects the mouth to the stomach. When this happens, the body will push any air still in the stomach out through the mouth. And it will do so with enough force to cause belching. However, for some individuals, underlying health problems or their choice in foods will cause belching as well.

Can Excessive Belching Signify a Serious Health Problem?

Something to note when it comes to the human body is that it has an uncanny way of alerting you whenever something is wrong, often by triggering specific symptoms. And the digestive system is no exception in this regard.

According to a study published by Harvard Health Publishing, excessive burping can sometimes be a sign of gastroesophageal reflux disease. Additionally, it can also point to irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), lactose intolerance, and stomach ulcers. In cases where excessive burping stems from gastroesophageal reflux disease, it can indicate that pre-cancerous changes are taking place in the esophagus, according to Dr. Roshini Raj, an assistant professor of medicine with NYU Langone Medical Center.

So while an occasional burp is a natural bodily function, excessive burping can sometimes be a sign of a severe health problem requiring prompt medical attention.

Learn eleven telltale signs you might have a food sensitivity.

15 Foods That Make You Burp: What You Should Know Before You Eat

Many of the foods that cause flatulence are the same ones that can cause or make belching worse. That being said, some of these foods include the following:

1. Beans

Because they contain raffinose, a soluble sucrose derivative, legumes not only cause you to burp but also fart.

According to the Cleveland Clinic, a nonprofit academic medical center, beans that should be limited by those seeking to keep gas-induced burps and farts to a minimum include kidney beans and black beans as well as garbanzo, lentils, and pinto beans.

Of course, you shouldn’t avoid beans altogether as they do offer significant nutritional value. As a staple in the Mediterranean diet, these tiny, delicious legumes can help protect against certain cancers, cardiovascular disease, dementia, diabetes, and a host of other chronic illnesses, according to a study published by the National Institutes of Health.

2. Cruciferous Vegetables

Although cruciferous vegetables, such as brussels sprouts, cauliflower, and broccoli, contain fiber that can help keep you regular, consuming too much of them can also cause excessive gas. As the body tries to rid itself of this gas, it can lead to unpleasant belching and farting.

Fortunately, it is possible to reap the health benefits that come with adding more of these vegetables to your diet while keeping gas to a minimum. According to the International Foundation for Functional Gastrointestinal Disorders, consuming cooked cruciferous vegetables rather than eating them raw, can go a long way toward keeping gas under control.

Similar to beans, cruciferous vegetables contain gas-causing raffinose. Cooking them breaks down raffinose and minimizes the gassiness would otherwise come from eating them raw.

3. Dairy

While calcium found in milk, butter, cheese, and other dairy products can help strengthen teeth and bones, these same foods can also cause digestive problems, especially in those who are lactose intolerant. In short, dairy contains a form of sugar known as lactose that can be difficult to digest. When dairy-based foods are not properly digested, it can lead to bloating, constipation, and gas, and much more. To properly digest dairy, the body must produce a sufficient amount of lactase. For those unfamiliar with lactase, it is an enzyme responsible for the biochemical reaction needed to break down foods that contain dairy. And this is not physiologically possible for those who are lactose intolerant. Therefore, when they consume even small amounts of food that contain dairy, they quickly regret ever doing so.

4. Beer

If you enjoy beer, you’re probably well aware that consuming too much of it causes excessive belching. And this is because beer, much like soda, releases carbon dioxide gas in the body. In response, the body attempts to rid itself of this gas by causing you to belch.

5. Fruit

Most nutritionists, dieticians, and physicians will agree that fruit, while healthy, can take a toll on an individual’s digestive system. And this has a lot to do with sorbitol, a sugar alcohol that contributes to the sweet taste associated with fruit but is metabolized slowly in the body. The slow metabolization process can cause belching and may also leave some people struggling with severe gassiness. Some of the fruits that contain large amounts of sorbitol include the following:

Apples
Cherries
Apricots
Peaches
Pears
Prunes
Dates

6. Spicy foods

Although flavorful, most spicy foods contain a compound known as capsaicin that slows down digestion and irritates the lining of the esophagus, both of which can trigger heartburn. When this happens, it not uncommon for some individuals to start burping. Capsaicin is commonly found in the following:

Horseradish
Hot sauce
Jalapeños
Red chili paste
Salsa
Wasabi

7. Green bell peppers

Even though green bell peppers are not spicy per se, they contain enough capsaicin to trigger belching, flatulence, and other digestive problems.

8. Garlic and onions

Fresh garlic and onions both contain allicin, a sulfur compound that can cause heartburn, which, in turn, leads to belching. Fortunately, dehydrated garlic and onions, which contain little to no allicin, can make food just as flavorful without causing digestive problems.

9. Acidic foods

If you’re already prone to excessive belching, it would be a good idea to avoid or limit your intake of acidic foods, such as fish, grains, beef, and turkey, for example. These particular foods can cause more acids to form in the body, which can lead to acid reflux, belching, heartburn, and many other digestive problems.

10. Fried food

Although fried chicken, French fries, onion rings, and other fried foods might be deliciously satisfying, they can cause belching. For those who might not be aware, fried foods are high in trans fat. And this type of fat takes longer for the body to digest. It can also increase the risk of developing high cholesterol and heart disease, especially when eaten regularly.

11. Tomato sauce

If you’re a fan of pizza and spaghetti, you should know that they both contain very acidic tomato sauce. That said, consuming too much of these foods can lead to acid reflux, heartburn, and excessive belching. According to the Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition, the pH, which denotes the acidity in foods and drinks, in a single can of tomato sauce is between 3.5 and 4.7. When it comes to measuring pH, the lower the number, the higher the acidity.

12. Tea

Although tea usually has a calming effect and is a great way to reduce stress, consuming too much of it can cause heartburn and excessive belching, especially those teas that contain peppermint or spearmint.

13. Eggs

Even though eggs can make for a delicious breakfast, they should be either avoided or limited by those who have an egg intolerance. The high protein and sulfur-containing compounds in eggs can make it difficult for those with an egg intolerance to digest. The longer eggs remain undigested, the more likely an individual is to experience belching and other digestive problems.

14. Gluten

Gluten, which is a unique protein in wheat, rye, and barley, can cause a host of digestive problems for those with celiac disease or are otherwise sensitive to gluten. For these individuals, consuming even a small amount of gluten can cause heartburn, belching, diarrhea, indigestion, nausea, vomiting, and flatulence since they are not able to produce enough of the enzymes needed to digest it properly.

15. Gum and Candy

While not technically a food per se, gum as well as candy, if chewed or sucked on for a long time, can cause belching. Engaging in either of these two acts often leads to swallowing excessive air, which negatively affects the digestive system.

Final Thoughts on the Foods That Cause People to Burp

In summary, many of our favorite foods can trigger and intensify belching. The best way to go about getting things under control is by making a few changes to your diet. However, if the belching continues, it would be a good idea to schedule an appointment with a physician as soon as possible.

13 Sneaky Ways Narcissists Get Away With Blame Shifting

June 14, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Narcissistic people are tricky to deal with because they are all into themselves. Whenever they are at fault for something, they try to lay the blame onto other people because,

A) it hurts their egos to think that they were wrong and,
B) Even if they know that they are wrong, narcissists want to avoid acknowledging it at all costs—even if they are unethically avoiding the truth.

Here are thirteen sneaky ways that narcissists shift blame to others around them

1 – Ignoring the Facts

A narcissist person might try to move fault to others by completely ignoring the part of the situation in which he/she is at fault. He might altogether refuse to acknowledge aspects of the situation where he did something wrong. For example, in conversation, he might adamantly refuse to talk about something and pretend that it did not come up. The person might even refuse to speak to you.

2 – Citing Religious Reasons

In a situation where there are highly religious people, a narcissistic person might use religion to shift fault onto another person. This is done by using twisted religious rhetoric to justify why someone else is at fault. For example, let’s say that something terrible happens, and it’s the fault of the narcissistic person. The narcissist might turn the failure on other people by saying, “This happened not because of what I did, but because you did something and God didn’t like it.”

3 – Playing Victim Card and Victim Blaming

To shift blame to others, a narcissist might attempt to play the victim card. For example, if the narcissistic person was wronged to some extent, he may over-emphasize that fact in a quest to get pity from others and shift blame onto someone else. He might try to make it seem that his being victimized overrides the fact that he is at fault.

4 – Overt Manipulation

Manipulation is one of the main tools that narcissistic people have in their arsenals. They know the emotional states and psyches of the people around them, which they use to sculpt the things that they say and do. Manipulation can take many forms.

One manipulation tactic is to act overly emotional and sad. For example, a narcissistic person might try to avoid being blamed by crying and acting vulnerable. She might try to accuse you of being a terrible person for not being sympathetic if you are wise to the tactic and refuse to succumb to it.

On the other hand, a narcissistic person might act angry and aggressive, hoping that you’ll forget all about putting the fault on them out of fear. They could yell around or physically abuse people.

The person could play on whatever insecurities you have about yourself and life. The gamut of manipulation tactics is endless.

5 – Adopting a My Way or the Highway Attitude

Narcissistic people like to talk over others and monopolize conversations. A narcissistic person who wants to accuse other of being at fault others might speak over other people—keeping them from getting their words in. Narcissistic people think that if they over talk and yell over people, it will get it into everyone’s heads that they are not the ones at fault.

Know the ten red flags that indicate you are dating a narcissist.

6 – Gaslighting Others

Gaslighting is when you try to make someone think that they are crazy for having their beliefs, concerns, and thoughts. This behavior is a manipulation tactic in which one person works to make another person doubt himself or herself.

A narcissistic person can use gaslighting to the fault onto someone else. For example, someone might understand that the narcissistic person is in the wrong for a variety of different reasons.

The narcissistic person might combat this by saying, “Oh, you’re simply crazy. Your concerns about me being in the wrong are results of you being off-balanced!”

This behavior is emotional abuse, plain and simple!

7 – Telling Outright Lies

A narcissist could straight out lie about the situation and fabricate circumstances that were not there. He could accuse you of doing something that you never did. She could make up a part of the situation that never happened—all of this just to make it look like she is not at fault.

Lying is especially harmful because the sky is the limit when it comes to what someone can lie about. Lies can cause a lot of trouble. The problem is that when a narcissistic person lies, what can you do? What can you do if the person completely refuses to utter truthful words? If you are wise to this tactic, then you can easily avoid feeling that you are at fault. The real problem comes when other people believe the narcissistic person.

8 – Making Unfair and Untrue Accusations

Some narcissistic people like to shift blame by throwing out random accusations. For example, a narcissistic person might say things like: “You punched me,” “You abused me,” “You’re mentally ill,” “You never loved me,” “You’re stalking me,” and whatever other accusation they can think of.

The point of throwing out accusations is to take attention away from the narcissist’s faults. Narcissistic people do this so that the idea that someone else did something worse and is at fault for something is introduced into the conversation.

9 – Acting Dramatically

A narcissistic person might shift blame onto other people by acting overly dramatic and saying things aloud that makes it sound like others are to blame. If others are in the room, they might see the narcissist behaving dramatically and think that there is something terrible going on and that you are to blame.

10 – Bringing Up Old Situations

A common trick that narcissists do to avoid blame is to bring up past situations in which you were at fault or faced a shortcoming. The circumstances may have absolutely nothing to do with the current situation that they should be blamed for. Whatever conditions the narcissistic person brings up could be completely irrelevant.

11 – Bringing Up Your Faults

A narcissist might also try to dodge the blame by talking about the faults of other people. They behave this way to detract away from their shortcomings. Again, the person might bring up things that are utterly irrelevant to the situation to divert away from being blamed.

12 – Making Arguments About the Argument

A narcissistic person will try to pull fault away from themselves by arguing about the argument that you are having with them. For example, the person might laugh at how you speak or what you say. He might disagree about the way that you are arguing. She might even accuse you of doing what she is doing.

13 – Manipulating Those Around You

If the issue is only between two people—you and the narcissist—it is easier to remedy the situation by being wise to the narcissist’s tactics. However, if there are other people in the room who can get easily triggered by things that the narcissist says and does, you are out of luck.

This is because other people may not be wise to the tactics that the narcissistic person uses. Also, the narcissists might bring up certain things about you that other people have gripes about. Being triggered to think about their grievances might make them less likely to see the current situation for how it is.

Even if a narcissistic person is unable to manipulate you into thinking that they are not at fault, they may be adept at manipulating other people. If they succeed in swaying other people, they might get their way, even if you know their number.

For example, a narcissist who accuses you of doing something to trigger someone else in the room to be on their side. Here is an example.

If a narcissist randomly accuses you of assault, there might be someone else in the room who takes such accusations very seriously. The people in the room who hear those accusations might be apt to believe that you beat up the narcissist. And even if you never did, those around you could buy into the narcissist’s story. Suddenly, the blame is off of the narcissist and now on you.

Wait. What?

Anything can be a trigger for the people around you. You are emotionally intelligent enough to deal with a narcissist. However, that does not mean that the people around you are wise to their tricks. Someone narcissistic could try any of the tactics mentioned above on the people around you. A narcissistic person who weeps and acts vulnerable might pull at the heartstrings of other people. Not showing sympathy toward the narcissistic person could make you look bad in front of other people.

Final Thoughts on the Sneaky Ways Narcissists Always Shift Blame Onto Others

In conclusion, these are the ways that narcissists try to place blame on other people. They bring up old situations from the past that are irrelevant to the current situation, use manipulation tactics, try to manipulate those around the initial person who they are talking to, lie, make up false accusations, act overly dramatic, gaslight people, ignore any conversations about them being at fault, talk over people and act aggressively whenever people try to point out the truth.

10 Ways to Teach Children Problem Solving Skills

June 14, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Problem-solving is a learned skill. As parents, you hope that your kids grow into adults who can think come up with ideas and solve problems. Many parents wonder how they can instill these skills. So, what are 10 ways to teach your children problem solving skills for life?

The definition of problem solving

Problem-solving is when you see a problem and understand what’s causing it, and you choose the best solution for it and solve it.

The National Institute of Health says problem-solving, “Identifies problems, and uses logic, judgment, and data to evaluate alternatives and recommend solutions to achieve the desired organizational goal or outcome.”

Teach your children the seven steps to problem-solving

Problem-solving involves several steps. You can lead your child through these steps in hypothetical scenarios in everyday life. Then as they come up against their own problems at school or home, you can help them walk through the steps. This works for different ages.

Figure out the problem. Talk about the problem with your child. (example: I can’t find my shoes)
Come up with some solutions. Brainstorm potential ideas to solve the problem. (I look for them, I ask for help; I try to remember where I put them last)
Think about the pluses and minuses of using different solutions.
Choose one solution (I tried to remember where I put them)
Test out your solution. (I couldn’t remember)
Try a different solution if the first one doesn’t work (I asked for help)
Solution (My brother found them under the kitchen table)

This process is something we have learned as adults, but these steps need to be taught to your child. Otherwise, she’ll stand in the hallway and scream, “I can’t find my shoes!” Giving your child the tools to figure out a problem will make them feel good that they can solve problems on their own.

Roleplay problem-solving scenarios with the kids

You borrowed your brother’s favorite skateboard. While you’re using it, it breaks. What could you do?
Your teacher is busy in class. You have a question, but she doesn’t see your hand. What could you do?
Your friend is being really loud in the cafeteria. You can’t hear your other friend talk to you. What should you do?
You finish all your work during math class. What should you do?
Your friend is angry at you because you got a better grade on a test. What could you do?

Emotions and problem solving

Emotions are usually attached to problem solving. And often, before a problem can be solved, you need to understand your emotions. The same goes for your kids.

When your child is upset because they don’t understand a math problem, they need to know how they feel and what to do about it to better solve the problem.

This is especially helpful to young kids who are just learning to control their emotions, but these tips are helpful at any age.

If you’re frustrated or angry because of a problem, find a way to calm yourself down. Try taking several deep breaths. Go to the bathroom. Just walking to the bathroom and back gives you a mental break.
Think about why you feel so frustrated about this problem.
Try to think of three ways you could solve the problem.
Then think about what would happen if you picked each solution. How would other people feel? Is it fair, would it hurt someone else?
Pick your solution and try it out. Did it work? Why or why not?

Critical thinking and problem solving

Another aspect of problem-solving uses critical thinking. Critical thinking is essential to a part of solving problems. Problem-solving and critical thinking both use knowledge, information, and data to solve problems.

It’s thinking on your feet, so to speak, and figuring out the problem and finding a solution. These two overlap a lot. They are equally important skills to teach your kids.

Encouraging your child’s critical thinking and problem-solving skills

1 – Stay close without hovering

Micromanaging your children to fix their problems is never a good idea. Don’t be overly ready to show them how to do things the correct way. It suffocates their own learning and ability to solve problems. Encourage their attempts, their persistence, and small accomplishments. Be specific, “I like how you came up with an idea to organize your socks.”

2 – Allow your child to solve their problems

You’re more experienced in life and you understand how to solve problems. But your child needs to learn this. You can solve their problems easily by telling them what to do, it’s actually faster than letting them figure it out. But it’s not helpful for good brain development.

Example:

Your 4-year-old must put on his winter coat before he can go outside to play in the snow. You could do it for him, but he needs to learn how to put it on by himself. Let him wrestle it out. He may get mad, but he’ll figure out a way to do it if he wants to play in the snow.

3 – Give your kids time to play

Playtimes are perfect for learning critical thinking and problem-solving. Young kids learn how to do things by themselves, how to solve problems with other kids, and what they enjoy. Pretending gives them creative outlets.

4 – Give your kids the room to learn and fail

Let them wrestle with their problems and think for themselves to discover solutions. Allow them to make connections. Try to not intervene right away. Let them fail at their attempts, then talk with them about the results.

5 – Ask your children thought-provoking questions

Help your children think through solutions and choices, Here are some excellent open-ended questions to get the conversation started.

What’s happening?
What do you think about it?
Why?
What would you do?
Do you have ideas to share?
What seems logical to you? Or What makes sense here?
How could you fix it?
What would you do if you could do it differently?
What other things would work?

6 – Encourage their creativity

Allow them to experiment and try creative solutions. Encourage their creativity when they find a solution, even if it’s not the best solution. They’ll figure out soon enough why the solution doesn’t work. That’s okay because it’s part of the learning process we all go through of eliminating until we find the best solution.

7 – Teach your child to agree or disagree

This is an important critical learning skill for kids. It’s a learned skill to listen to other’s opinions when you don’t agree. Good manners come into play here. Teach them to listen to others and be able to share their opinion without anger or frustration. Part of life is learning to agree to disagree. Many things in life have several solutions, and it depends upon the person’s views as to what is most important.

8 – Teach your child to explain their answers

Ask your child, how do you know this? Why do you think this? Teach your child to defend their answers. Help them use evidence rather than feelings for their answers. Encourage them to think about where to get information to support their thoughts.

9 – Cause and effect

This helps your child come up with ideas, then test out their solutions. They’ll see what works and what doesn’t work.

Example:

Allow your child to plan when they’ll do their homework every day. Will it be right after school or in the evening? A week later, talk to them about how this idea has worked out. Did they get their homework done every day? What caused them to not homework finished?

10 – Working with others

Encourage your kids to work with others to solve a problem. Get them to talk to siblings, friends, or others to brainstorm ideas. Praise their willingness to collaborate and listen to other ideas. This critical learning skill emphasizes the importance of getting other’s ideas so they can better solve their problems.

Fun activities to enhance problem solving and creative thinking skills

Look at that cloud

This is an old game, but still lots of fun for kids and adults. On a sunny day, take your kids outside, tell your kids to look up at the sky and tell you what they think the clouds look like. Allow them to come up with different answers-a dog, a dinosaur, or a bunny. What is that animal or thing doing? This simple game teaches your kids abstract thinking skills.

Let’s make a silly meal

Look around the house. Find silly ingredients you could turn into a meal. The basket of socks could be a basket of bread. Or the red chair is pizza sauce. Let them run with their ideas after you give one or two examples. Have them “cook” their meal, then pretend to eat it. This little game teaches your kids to look at things in a different, out of the box way.

So, what do you think?

Ask your kids questions such as what do you think our dog thinks about all day? What do you think the sofa wishes she could do? What do you think that little boy across the street is thinking about?

Allow your child to come up with their answers. This helps them be creative and learn how to express their ideas.

Final thoughts on teaching problem solving skills your child will carry for life

Problem-solving is a learned skill. Your kids start problem-solving from a young age. When they’re little, they may need to solve simple problems like how to put on clothes and how to get the fork up to their mouth to eat.

As they get older, they’ll need to learn how to solve problems with other students or math problems. You can teach them problem-solving steps, especially how to deal with their emotions associated with solving some problems.

Helping them learn how to be good critical thinkers will help them solve problems and become successful in life.

Trainers Explain How Aerobic Exercise Melts Belly Fat

June 14, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Remember those vintage cereal commercials that asked if you could pinch an inch? The premise was that if you could pinch an inch of belly fat, you needed to lose it on a diet program that included their vitamin-fortified cereal. A cereal diet may not do the trick, but healthy eating and aerobic exercise can help you lose that stubborn belly fat.

Not many people can say they weigh the same weight they did in high school. Even if the scales haven’t changed that much, your body has altered. Unfortunately, the older we get, the more difficult it is to lose weight and body fat, especially for women.

Why is it that you can see results on the scales when you adopt a healthy diet but still battle stubborn belly fat? Along with a fat-busting eating plan, you also need a fitness regimen tailored for you, like aerobic exercise.

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a medicine or a procedure that would magically make your extra fat disappear? However, fat miraculously melting away is only a fantasy. Your body needs a certain amount of fat to insulate your body and to cushion your internal organs.

Medical experts claim that genetics can also be a factor in how many fat cells you carry. Fatty deposits, also known as adipose tissue, vary slightly according to individuals. So, no one burns fat precisely the same.

Fat Differences and Gender

The distribution of adipose tissue often depends on gender and your ancestry. Women tend to store a little more fat cells than men because of their role in childbearing. However, studies show that women often burn more extra fat than men do.

If you’ve always blamed your mother for your problematic hips and behind, realize it’s not all her fault. Fat distribution for women is usually in their lower body, including thighs, buttocks, and the lower abdomen. Men often store their extra fat in their upper abdomen, hence the notorious “beer gut.”

Why is Belly Fat so Complicated?

Even healthy people with leaner bodies still have a protective layer of belly fat, also known as visceral fat. This adipose layer surrounds your internal organs for protection and to maintain warmth. While you do need some of this fat, it’s the extra fat that poses a risk to your health.

Your body has another type of adipose tissue called subcutaneous fat, or the fat under your skin. This is the bothersome fatty deposits on your arms, legs, buttocks, chest, and face. When you diet and exercise, subcutaneous fat seems to melt quicker than stubborn belly fat.

Health Risks of Excess Belly Fat

While you must have some belly fat, the key is to make sure it’s not in excess. Not only does extra belly fat erode your self-esteem, but it can also put you at risk for serious health problems.

Aerobic workouts may help shed unwanted pounds. Have you heard of fatty liver disease and cirrhosis? These dangerous disorders are typically found in the last stages of alcoholism. Sadly, excess belly fat can also put you at risk for fatty liver, even if you don’t drink.

Carrying extra body fat around your belly makes you prone to Type 2 diabetes, cardiac disease, hypertension, and other serious disorders. Overeating, stress, and alcohol abuse are contributors to an overabundance of belly fat. Another factor is the lack of proper exercise.

Say Goodbye to Extra Belly Fat

The good news is that you are not doomed to hold onto your excess belly fat and deal with the health consequences. Making good nutrition and fitness part of your lifestyle can make a big difference. It takes determination and patience, but you will reap the rewards of improving your health and self-confidence.

Have you been dieting and exercising and feel frustrated with those last few pounds of belly fat that won’t budge? Although these fat-burning plateaus are discouraging, they are completely normal. Maybe you need to ramp up your fitness routine and try aerobic exercise combined with weight training.

What is Aerobic Exercise?

Aerobic exercise, also called cardio workouts, has been around for years. These are exercises that vary in intensity to increase your heart rate and intake of oxygen. This process can raise your body’s metabolism to burn fat more efficiently, especially belly fat.

During the 1980s, aerobics came into the limelight. Fitness trainers and some celebrities donned neon leggings and headbands to make videos with pop music. They encouraged everyone to get off the couch and get moving.

You may have some of those old VHS tapes in your attic. While those Hollywood productions seem cheesy and dated now, their premise is still good. Getting your body to move is critical to reset your metabolism.

Any exercise that gets your heart pumping and your lungs bringing in fresh oxygen are considered aerobic. Jogging, bicycling, gymnastics, and even yoga are forms of aerobic movement.

Getting Started on Aerobic Exercise

Before you begin any exercise regimen at home or at the gym, talk to your professional healthcare provider. You can also consult a certified fitness trainer to devise an aerobic exercise plan that’s right for you. Remember that weight training can be beneficial, too.

You needn’t dig out your neon orange leotards from high school to do aerobics. Your preferred aerobic workouts may be gentle or intense, but either can help burn belly fat. The slower-paced workouts will just require more time.

Are you ready to get in shape and feel better about yourself? It just takes 15-20 minutes a day to see results. Here are some aerobic exercises that are combined with weight training that will say so-long to your big belly.

1. Walking/Jogging

Have you always thought that running was the only way for you to lose weight? However, fitness experts say that a brisk walk for at least 15 minutes a day can boost your fat-burning process. Plus, you won’t have the risks that running takes on your bones and joints.

If you want to take your walking regimen up a notch, you should consider jogging. When jogging, you get an extra boost of oxygen in your system without going into a full run. Walking and jogging burn fat and provide other health benefits.

2. Riding a Bicycle

They say once you learn how to ride a bicycle that you will never forget. If you want to benefit your body and be kind to the environment, why not ride a bike? It’s a powerful aerobic workout that will help burn your extra belly fat.

Commuting by bicycle is commonplace in most European countries. Many of America’s largest cities have designated lanes for people riding their bikes to work. It’s a win/win situation because bicycles don’t expose the environment to fossil fuels like an automobile.

3. Go for a Swim

Swimming is one of the best aerobic workouts for burning fat. It involves working your whole body. You can swim outdoors during warm weather and indoors at any time of the year.

Water aerobics are specialized exercises meant to burn fat, tone your body, and benefit bones and joints. Seniors and those completing physical therapy often swim and do water aerobics because the water’s density makes it easier to move. However, it’s an enjoyable activity for all ages.

Here are the changes you could see in your body if you swim every day.

4. Get Your Groove Back

Did you know that dancing can significantly trim your waistline? Dancing to music is as old as civilization itself. Whether you waltz, line dance, or breakdance, your body will be moving.

Pump up your favorite tunes and dance by yourself or with your partner. It will increase your heart rate, breathing, and boost your metabolism. Dancing is often part of aerobic workout classes.

5. Cardio Machines

What exercise machine should you choose at the gym for a good aerobic/cardio workout? Pick one that is comfortable for your pace but still makes you work. For a low impact but beneficial session, try the treadmill and walk your way to a healthy body.

If you want a higher impact workout that will really make your fat burn, do some time on a rowing machine. It involves your whole body as if you were rowing on the water. Stair steppers and spin bikes also provide high energy workouts essential for fat burning.

6. Jumping Rope

When you think of jumping rope, your mind probably goes back to playground games in elementary school. While that was good exercise, you can graduate to a sports jump rope. You often see boxers and other professional athletes jumping rope to stay in good shape.

With a quality jump rope and a comfortable pair of shoes, you can jump your way into a thinner belly. Jump for 10-15 minutes at a speed that is comfortable for you. Your goal is to increase your heart and breathing rate.

Final Thoughts on Trying Aerobic Exercise To Say Bye Be to Stubborn Belly Fat

These are just a few of the exciting aerobic exercises that you can combine with lifting weights. Most don’t require individual workout machines and can be done at home. When you incorporate aerobic exercise into your fitness regimen, the only thing you must lose is stubborn belly fat.

Increased cortisol levels can cause your brain to shrink.

Learning and memory get affected as stress disrupts neural pathways.

Harmful emotional states caused by stress could lead to strokes.

Increased risk of depression due to an imbalance of brain chemicals.

Fatigue due to stress can lead to neglect of responsibilities.

Increased occurrence of headaches.

Insomnia or oversleeping.

More prone to negative thinking and difficulty controlling emotions.

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