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Doctors Explain How More Screen Time Lowers Brain Growth in Kids

Unfortunately, many parents engage in too much screen time and spend too little time playing and interacting with their children. Even worse, parents today tend to use tablets and smartphones to pacify and babysit their children so they can have the freedom to do other things. However, this type of passive parenting can have long-lasting detrimental effects on children, from developmental to psychological disorders.

Because of the explosion of technology in society today, even children can’t escape the addicting games and television shows marketed to kids. Screen time among young children has increased dramatically in the past decade. While certain educational programs can benefit children, they still need to spend time in the real world to develop motor and communication skills.

Below, we’ll go over what the experts have to say about children spending too much time in front of screens. We hope this information can help you make informed decisions about how to protect your children from the potentially harmful effects of technology.

Here’s how too much screen time leads to lower brain growth in kids:

screen time

Read about the potential health implications of 5g technology.

In the early years of life, critical brain development takes place, but technology may hamper these important changes from taking place. Scientists scanned brains of children 3 to 5 years old to see how screen time affected them. They found that those who used technology more than an hour a day had lower development in the brain’s white matter, which helps with cognitive, language and literacy skills.

Pediatrician and clinical researcher at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital and lead author of the study, Dr. John Hutton, said that the study was the first one to show the link between more screen time and lower cognitive function in preschool kids. He added that during the first five years, the brain develops rapidly, forming connections that will last a child’s whole life.

Side effects of too much screen time

Studies link too much time in front of the TV to the following:

Kids mimic their parents, so in households where the parents use screens more, the kids tend to copy that behavior, according to Hutton. For example, the kids who stay on technology for 5 hours may have parents who engage in double the screen time. So, if kids get home from school and immediately head to the television while their parents scroll social media, they have no time for interaction.

Also, kids tend to bring their screens with them wherever they go. They can take them to bed, the playground, to meals, and everywhere in between. After they experience the stimulation from smartphones and tablets, it becomes all too easy to become addicted to them. They feel like they can’t do anything without having a screen of some sort in their hand. Hutton said the age at which kids get exposed to technology is majorly concerning. He said 90% of kids use screens before turning one, with some just two or three months old.

pop memeDisrupting white matter in the brain

Researchers scanned the brains of 47 healthy children who hadn’t started kindergarten yet. The study used a special kind of MRI called diffusion tensor imaging, which looks specifically at the white matter in the brain. This area of the brain organizes communication between different parts of the brain’s gray matter. In this part of the brain, the cells communicate with the body to tell it what to do.

White matter helps form connections between the brain and the nervous system. Hutton said the white matter can be compared to cables much like telephone lines that connect different parts of the brain so they can communicate with each other. If development becomes delayed or doesn’t happen at all, it can slow down the brain’s ability to process things. However, activities such as reading, playing a musical instrument, and playing can improve the structure of white matter in the brain.

Before the children had the MRI, they had to take cognitive tests while parents filled out a questionnaire about screen time developed by the American Academy of Pediatrics. The test measured how much access children have to screens, how much exposure they had, the content they watch, and if parents engaged with them during screen time.

The results

The study showed that the children who engaged in more screen time than the AAP recommendations had a more disorganized, underdeveloped white matter in the brain. Hutton said the average screen time among the kids was two hours a day, but some children used screens for up to five hours. However, researchers want to ensure that using screens doesn’t mean children’s brains get damaged; it just means they won’t have the same development as children who use less screen time.

Hutton said that the screen time may just inhibit growth that children could’ve had from other experiences, such as human interaction and playtime. Children need plenty of experiences that encourage strong connections in brain neuron networks, such as interaction with parents, reading, and problem-solving tasks.

In addition to the MRI results, researchers found that excess screen time led to decreased literacy skills and the ability to use expressive language. The children in the study also showed impairment in being able to rapidly name objects shown to them. However, research in this area is still in the early stages, and more studies need to be done in the future to solidify these results.

Here’s what you can do as a parent to protect your kids:

Make sure you limit their screen time each day and only allow them to use technology for educational purposes. Sit with them while they learn so you can interact with them and reinforce what they learn. Also, do other activities with them – play games, go outside and allow them to explore nature, read, sing, and laugh together. Kids need a lot of interaction to develop healthy brains, and in the formative years, it’s critical to give them that emotional and mental support.

The AAP lists the following guidelines for children and screen time:

Infants:

No baby under 18 months old should use technology, other than occasionally being on video chat with family. Babies need a lot of interaction with their caregivers, and parents shouldn’t use technology to babysit them. Parents shouldn’t even have the TV on in the same room with a baby, as it leads to distractions and less able to interact with the child.

Toddlers:

By the time a baby turns 2, they can learn words from programs and live chats with family members. However, toddlers learn best when the parents sit with them to reinforce what they learn and repeat words to them so they memorize them better.

Preschoolers:

Children from 3 to 5 years old can learn from quality kid’s shows such as Sesame Street. These shows help kids learn words, increase cognitive abilities, and help develop social skills.

The AAP cautions that many educational programs on media devices don’t actually benefit children because developmental specialists don’t help create them. So, they can impair development in children if they get exposed to too many shows and programs that don’t cater to their needs. Children learn best, as we’ve said, from their parents anyway, so make it a habit to engage with them daily and keep screen time to a minimum.

gifted childOther harmful effects of technology

Screen time doesn’t just impact children; teenagers and adults see negative effects from heavy media use as well. Scientists have documented the following consequences from using too much technology:

  • Increased risk of anxiety and depression
  • More pressure on the neck and spine, which could lead to chronic pain in this area
  • A more sedentary lifestyle
  • Worsening vision
  • Low self-esteem
  • Sleeping problems
  • Trouble concentrating and thinking clearly
  • Brain fog
  • Poor posture
  • Difficulty carrying on a conversation
  • Antisocial behavior

Of course, we realize that technology can benefit society in many ways as well, from medical advancements to the ability to talk to people across the globe. However, the dopamine hits we get from likes on our Facebook pictures and just viewing the content, in general, can set us up for addiction. Like anything else, moderation is key when it comes to technology. Try to only use your phone when you absolutely need it, not just when you feel bored or need a distraction.

screen time

Swap out screen time for these quiet activities that will engage your child’s brain.

Final thoughts on how screen time impacts brain growth in kids

We’ve come a long way with technology, but the pervasiveness of phones and tablets can severely impact a child’s growth. Their brains have shown more disorganized and less developed white matter when exposed to heavy media use. Parents raising children in the technology age should use technology sparingly, making sure to place human interaction first and not use phones as a babysitter.

Children can benefit from certain TV programs and apps, but babies and toddlers shouldn’t use technology without their parents. Kid’s brains respond very strongly to their environment, so parents should make sure to create a healthy one that supports their children’s development.

20 Life-changing Positivity Affirmations to Note in Your Gratitude Journal

Here’s why everyone should keep a positivity journal and count their blessings.

In a world filled with negativity, we should all put some positive energy into our lives–and some positivity affirmations into our gratitude journals.

Dr. Norman Vincent Peale spent decades of his life promoting the power of positive thinking in the human soul.

There is a direct link between your words and your outcome in life. If you are tired of feeling run down, depressed, and anxious, then It’s time to use positive affirmations. Here are 20 declarations you can say each day that will put you on an optimistic track.

20 Positivity Affirmations to Never Forget

positivity affirmations

Write these positivity affirmations in your journal or recite them out loud.

1. I am Beautiful

It’s essential to think you’re beautiful. When you love yourself, then others can quickly love you too. You should look in the mirror each day and tell yourself that you’re attractive and that you’re uniquely you. Don’t ever let anyone tell you any differently. Anyone who has a different opinion about your beauty doesn’t matter.

2. I Am Worthy to Love and to Be Loved

You deserve to be loved. Be grateful that your family and friends love and care for you. Many people don’t have anyone. Write in your gratefulness journal all the people that love you and are a part of your support system. Make sure you tell them how much it means that they are in your corner.

3. My Opinions Matter

Whether at work or in your personal life, your opinions matter. By telling yourself that your ideas are valued, you can empower yourself to stand up and speak out at work or in other aspects of your life. Your thoughts and feelings about things are significant, and people are ready to listen.

4. I Have Value

What is your value? One of the positive affirmations in this life is to say that you have value and self-worth. When you see yourself as a valued part of society, you hold your head a little higher and walk with a bounce. Depression and the cares of life may try to keep you down, but you remember how tremendous your worth.

5. My Past Doesn’t Dictate My Future

Everyone has skeletons in their closet and has made bad choices in the past. Thankfully, you don’t live there anymore. No matter what has happened, your history will never dictate your future. It’s time to leave yesterday behind.

6. I Will Be Kind and Caring Towards Others

Life isn’t always about you and your needs. Sometimes, it’s nice to reach out to someone less fortunate. Whether it’s comforting someone who experienced a breakup or it’s taking food to a person with little means, everything you do to be caring towards others will bring good karma your way.

7. It’s Okay Not to Be Okay

In life, there will be sunshine and rain. You can’t expect to be happy every day. Make sure you are grateful for both the good times and bad as the bad times help you learn life lessons. Tell yourself that it’s okay to have a bad day occasionally.

8. I Am Thankful for My Blessings

What things are you thankful for today? Rather than counting all the wrong things in your life, why not count all your blessings? You are blessed if you have a beautiful bed to sleep in, a nice car to drive, and a job that pays you well. Start making positive affirmations to count your blessings rather than your disappointments.

9. I Won’t Compare Myself with Others

It’s never a good idea to compare your looks or achievements with others. You are a unique being who was carefully formed in your mother’s womb. There will never be another you. Make sure you tell yourself how special you are, and don’t compare your life with others. Stop trying to keep up with the Jones and Smiths. Rather, make others want to keep up with you.

10. I Can Forgive and Be Forgiven

Forgiveness is a hard thing to do. However, one of your positive affirmations should be that you will forgive yourself and others, and in return, you will be forgiven when you have wrongdoings. It’s okay to be upset, but you must forgive.

3-minute-positivity-journal3

Learn more about the 3 Minute Positivity Journal by Pop Founder and CEO, Kristen Butler

11. I Will Eat Healthy and Exercise Today

Do you have a difficult time losing weight and eating healthy? Why not add positivity affirmations in your gratitude journal about your health? When you have the mindset that you will eat well and exercise, then your chances of completing those tasks are greater.

12. I Will Achieve My Goals

What goals do you have for your life? Do you see yourself married with a family or in a higher-paying job? It’s time to set your mindset to achieve every goal you want and dream about. You will be if you believe in your heart that you are victorious.

13. I Will Never Give Up

One of your positivity journal entries should be that you won’t give up no matter what life throws your way. Even if you lose your job, house, relationship, and every dime you own, you will dust yourself off and rise again. Remember, life isn’t about how many times you fall but how many times you rise that counts.

14. I Will Live Life to the Fullest

It would help if you vowed to live your life to the fullest daily. Don’t let one day slip past you without taking the time to smell the roses. A life full of all work and no play is a recipe for disaster. Make your life exciting and adventurous.

15. I Radiate Success

If you are a career professional, you must make one of your positivity affirmations about your success. People love to be around those that radiate success. It makes them feel like they, too, can achieve these heights. An aura of confidence is beautiful to both employers and others.

16. I Love My Body

It doesn’t matter if you are a perfect weight or a bit overweight. You must love the skin you’re in. Write in your journal all the things that you love about your body. Maybe you think you have beautiful eyes or legs. Remind yourself of all the reasons why your body is gorgeous.

17. I Have A Good Relationship and Lover

If you want your relationship to be fantastic, you must believe it is. Don’t compare your relationships with that of other people. Look for all the good things in your marriage or the person you’re dating. You both are unique, and no one can compare to you or your love.

18. No One Can Make Me Feel Inferior Unless I Allow Them

One of the best positivity affirmations you can tell yourself is that you won’t allow someone to make you feel inferior. People can only use or make you feel bad about yourself if you allow them too. Don’t let bullies in life bring you down; rather, always take the high road.

19. I Don’t Need To Beg For Friendship

If someone doesn’t want to be your friend, move on to the next person. You don’t ever have to beg for friends. Your unique attributes are one of the reasons why you have the friends you have now. Don’t let people make you think you’re not worthy of friendship; move on to the next person who will respect you.

20. I Am Enough

Finally, the best one is last. One of the most significant positivity affirmations you can tell yourself is that you are enough. Write it in your gratitude journal, tell yourself this 100 times daily, and put it on a sticky note on your work computer.

Engrain in your brain that you are enough. You’re a good mother/father, worker, son/daughter, spouse, relative, and friend. While you may have things you are working on to better your life, you are on the right path. Never think of yourself as less than as you are the whole package.

positivity affirmationsFinal Thoughts on the Keeping a Power of Positivity Journal

You may have won, and you may have lost. You’ve got many things right in your life, but you’ve also got some things wrong. The beautiful thing is that life is a journey filled with joy and regrets, but you are still the best you you can be through all of it.

Count your blessings, and you should never focus on your failures. Surround yourself with people that love and respect you. You only get one chance to live your life to the fullest, so don’t ever let a day pass you by that you waste feeling pessimistic. You can and will have a good experience; keep writing in your positivity journal, and you will see a change for the better in your life.

Science Reveals What Happens to Your Body When You Eat Greens Daily

When it comes to healthy living, it’s all about the green stuff. No, we’re not talking about dollar bills! We’re talking about dark, leafy greens.

There’s overwhelming evidence that the more green you get in your diet, the lower your chances of developing conditions like heart disease and Alzheimer’s. On top of that, green veggies are a fantastic way to burn fat and keep your skin radiant.

Let’s go over just a few of the most substantial benefits you’ll experience once you start eating green veggies every day. In this post, we’ll also share pro tips on how to sneak a little green into your daily routine.

The Glorious Benefits Of Eating Leafy Greens

Here are some fantastic benefits of eating your greens (like Mom told you!).

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Benefit #1 – Enjoy A Long-Term Memory Boost

Forget about spending hours playing those brain-training apps. If you add one serving of leafy green veggies to your day, then you’re bound to experience a memory boost.

A recent study out of Rush University tracked the diet and cognitive health of about 950 senior citizens in Chicago. Over roughly five years, researchers screened study participants for mental issues and asked what they ate on a typical day.

Amazingly, there was a strong correlation between how many greens a person ate and their risk of memory problems. People who ate just one serving of green veggies per day versus those who ate none had a substantially slower rate of cognitive impairment.

Benefit #2 – Naturally Lower Your Blood Pressure

High blood pressure is one of the most common chronic conditions in the USA. In fact, the CDC now estimates that about 108 million Americans have some degree of hypertension. Thankfully, it appears dark green veggies could help millions of patients keep their blood pressure levels in check.

Scientists at Boston’s Brigham and Women’s Hospital recently published a long-term study analyzing the correlation between diet and hypertension. Researchers tracked the health of over 28,000 middle-aged females for a little over 12 years. According to the data, women who ate more dark green veggies had a lower incidence of blood pressure issues.

It’s important to note, however, that leafy green veggies are only a part of managing high blood pressure. Indeed, professors involved in the above study found an even higher correlation between fruit intake and lower blood pressure.

In addition to eating plenty of healthful foods like green veggies, here are a few other strategies you could use to keep your blood pressure down:

• Exercise for at least 30 minutes every day.
• Add a mindfulness meditation session into your daily routine.
• Get at least seven hours of sleep per night.
• Quit harmful habits like smoking and drinking.
• Take a warm bath or visit a sauna a few times per week.

Benefit #3 – Show Your Teeth Some Serious Love

One of the annoying things about eating leafy green veggies is they can often get stuck in your teeth. Well, look at the bright side: at least these foods will keep your pearly whites free from cavities!

Interestingly, all leafy green veggies have incredibly high levels of bioavailable calcium. So, if you’re lactose intolerant, you could get all the calcium your bones and teeth need from a daily helping of greens.

In addition to calcium, leafy green veggies often contain high traces of folic acid (aka vitamin B9). Many studies suggest people who eat more folic acid have a lower risk of gum bleeding and gingivitis.

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Benefit #4 – Detox Your Liver With Dandelion

There’s great hope in the scientific community that green veggies could combat one of the world’s leading liver diseases: fatty liver. Recent rodent studies out of Sweden show that leafy greens contain high traces of nitrate. According to the latest research, the body can use this substance to reduce liver inflammation.

Although trials are ongoing, dark green veggies could likely play a big role in the future treatment and prevention of fatty liver disease. In particular, dandelion appears to have the highest potential to protect patients from liver disease. This green has a ton of beneficial polysaccharides that assist liver detoxification.

Since this green is somewhat bitter, most people don’t enjoy eating it raw. If you find dandelion’s taste a bit too abrasive, consider sautéing them or drinking them in an herbal tea.

If you just can’t stand this green’s taste but still want to enjoy its benefits, you could always look into dietary supplements. Just be sure to let your doctor know beforehand. Sometimes herbal pills could counteract prescription medications, so it’s best to get a physician’s approval.

Benefit #5 – See Clearly With Lutein & Zeaxanthin

When we think of healthy foods for the eyes, we usually think of carrots. Although this orange root veggie is pretty sweet, it just can’t compete with leafy green veggies.

The reason green veggies are so beneficial for eye health has to do with compounds called lutein and zeaxanthin. Research has shown both of these chemicals play a critical role in reducing the pressure in the eyes, which could decrease the risk of conditions like age-related macular degeneration and glaucoma.

Although lutein and zeaxanthin are present in a few other foods, they are nowhere near as concentrated as in leafy green veggies. No doubt: a bowl of greens every day will undoubtedly keep the ophthalmologist away!

Benefit #6 – Promote Gut Health With Prebiotic Powerhouses

One of the most significant medical discoveries in recent years is the “gut-brain axis.” Although it may seem strange, there seems to be a direct connection between our digestive and our cognitive health.

To be more specific, the types of bacteria that thrive in our gut play a significant role in our overall well-being. You’ve probably already heard about the many benefits of “probiotics,” which refers to the healthy bacteria in your gut that help to regulate digestive well-being.

Although leafy green vegetables don’t contain probiotics, they are considered one of nature’s most outstanding “prebiotics.” In other words, the fiber in these veggies acts as “food” for the healthy bacteria in your gut. Interesting research also suggests dark green veggies have an enzyme that helps increase probiotic populations.

healthiest foods

Over 40? Here are the healthiest foods you must include on your menu.

Fast Facts On The World’s Greatest Green Veggies

Now that you know why green veggies are so good for you, it’s time to take a peek at some of the best foods in your grocery store. Here’s a quick rundown of some of the world’s top green vegetables.

1. Collards

A staple side in the South, collards have one of the highest concentrations of vitamin K for any vegetable. Just one cup of this powerhouse food packs well over 1,000 percent of your daily recommended dose of vitamin K. Interestingly. Recent research suggests collards have their highest nutrient count when they are steamed.

2. Kale

When it comes to green veggies, kale is king. Why is this green so popular nowadays? Well, in addition to its delightfully bitter taste, this veggie has loads of antioxidants, fiber, vitamins, and minerals. This leafy green also has the highest concentration of lutein and zeaxanthin (perfect for eye health). Plus, vegetarians love cooking recipes with this green because it has exceptionally high traces of protein.

3. Mustard Greens

Originating in India, mustard greens have one of the most unique flavor profiles of all the veggies on our list. Unlike the bitter, earthy taste of other greens, mustards have a rather spicy taste that almost resembles horseradish. Traditionally used in Indian and Chinese cuisine, mustards have many of the benefits of other green plants but are better suited for people who like hot dishes.

4. Arugula

While we’re on the subject of spicy green veggies, we should take a few moments to mention arugula. Sometimes known as “rocket,” arugula is a delicate leafy green that has a unique taste reminiscent of black pepper. Like many of the other veggies on this list, arugula has plenty of calcium, vitamin K, folic acid, and vitamin A. Fun fact: Ancient Romans supposedly used arugula to help improve libido…just sayin’.

5. Spinach

What list of leafy greens would be complete without mentioning Popeye’s favorite treat? Spinach is one of the world’s most famous green veggies for many good reasons, including its high iron and zinc content. As a bonus, spinach has a relatively mild flavor. It’s quite easy to hide fistfuls of this vegetable in smoothies and juices.

6. Beet Leaves

Everybody’s talking about beet juice nowadays, but please don’t throw out those gorgeous beet leaves! Yes, you can eat the distinctive leaves on your beets. In fact, some people argue this is the healthiest part of the plant due to its high traces of iron. Be sure to sauté these leaves, mix them in a smoothie, or try eating them raw.

Don’t Like Salads? Check Out These Sneaky Green Hacks

If you don’t like eating salads, no worries! There are plenty of creative ways you could get these greens into your diet. Here are just a few hacks to keep in mind:

• Mix a few of these veggies into a morning smoothie.
• Experiment with juicing veggies and covering them with sweet apples or lemons.
• Buy an organic green powdered mix.
• Incorporate green veggies into pasta dishes or soups.
• Bake tasty “kale chips” in your oven.

brussels sproutsFinal Thoughts on Eating Your Greens Daily

As you could see, leafy green veggies have a lot going in their favor. If you start incorporating any of these foods into your regular diet, you’re bound to wow your doctor at your next appointment. If possible, aim for at least one cup of your preferred green every day for the maximum benefits.

Astrologist Reveals the Cosmic View for June 2020

Astrology provides insight into a crisis, but your own intuition is just as important. Learn how to interweave heaven and earth, knowledge, and instinct, and you’ll be able to use this cosmic view to find creative ways to solve your problems.

With Saturn, Jupiter, and Pluto in retrograde, the virus that has shut down the world is in a weakened state — for the summer. However, there is a chance it will reinvigorate itself in the fall. Be careful with your freedom.

Gemini is all about choices and with Mercury and Venus in retrograde in this sign, what you decide carries life and death consequences. What needs to be balanced is freedom and self-control. This is never easy under normal circumstances and certainly not a simple challenge now.

Saturn, the planet of boundaries, entered Aquarius in March and it has changed how you interact with friends and groups. The square it makes to Uranus and creates a clash – a desire to break free of all restrictions no matter what the consequences. Learn to open a door by increments, instead of all at once. Self-control is essential to survival.

The Full Moon on June 5th in Sagittarius activates the houses of wisdom and communication. We may hear from the experts. Perhaps more restrictions will be lifted or there’s new information on the development of vaccines. Venus remains retrograde until the 25th placing a focus on relationships and finance. It’s time to rethink who and what’s important to you and yes, how you want to manage your money in the future.

Mercury goes retrograde in Cancer on the 18th, and it’s time to clean up misunderstandings with family and mend old wounds. Let forgiveness and love lead the way. The more you give, the more you receive. Stay safe and nurture yourself from within. If you do the universe will add to your gifts in ways you cannot imagine.

cosmic view

Here is a rundown of the cosmic view for each sign in the zodiac this month:

Aries (March 21st – April 20th)

Aries represents vision, it allows you to see into the future and imagine a better world. This energy is important now, more than ever. With your ruler Mars, in Pisces and conjunct Neptune, your imagination is out of control. If you’re in a creative field, then new ideas will come to you with ease. What they will need is grounding.

There’s not a lot of earthly practicality in the stars at the moment, so you have to provide it. Intuition and emotion are two separate things. Intuition comes from above and you need to trust it, emotions are a response to desire and fear, they want what they want and can’t be trusted. Learn to separate them. Any insecurities you have will be emphasized in this environment.

Uranus square Saturn increases your desire for freedom, and because you’re impulsive, you may give in more than you should. This is a time for baby steps, not giant leaps of faith.

Venus is retrograde until the 25th making relationships in general either very difficult or rewarding. If you have good communication and know-how to be supportive, then you’ll receive the rewards of your efforts. What’s important now is to express your vulnerability, not just your strengths. That’s difficult for an Aries, but it helps others connect to you in a deeper way.

Mercury goes retrograde on the 18th and you may go back to work or find something new. The path is zig zag, so don’t expect it to be clear. If you’re in a relationship, you’ll be working out your issues, if you hold them in, it will damage the relationship.

When Venus goes direct on the 25th, you should know where you stand and what is possible. If you’re single, old lovers could contact you or you may reach out to them. There’s a need to reconnect to the past.

Cosmic View for Taurus (April 21st – May 20th)

Taurus is a major player as the planets align to bring about change in the world. With Uranus, the ruler of change, in Taurus, you’re being driven from within or shaped from without, to make decisions, and to pursue new goals.

If you embrace the change you will realize that happiness is easier than you thought. Good things can come from disasters if you can recognize them in the chaos. The light and the dark are not disconnected, they are a part of the whole.

With Saturn, Jupiter, and Pluto retrograde, you’re rearranging your thinking and your ideals. This virus has forced us all to look at what’s really important. It’s shown us where we’ve strayed from our path because we followed the crowd. Getting back to core issues is empowering and it allows you to build your life on a strong foundation.

Mercury goes retrograde in Cancer on the 18th. This is your chance to finish old projects and clear the way for the new.

Venus, your ruler, is retrograde until the 25 and relationships as well as your place of work are under scrutiny. If you haven’t worked on your communication and if you don’t understand each other, then this month you will feel more isolated and alone. If anger is what emerges then try and find another way to get it out. Attaching someone will not make you feel better.

If you’re in a relationship, then unresolved issues are now on your plate. By the 25th you should be clear on where you stand. If you’re single, this is not a time for someone new. Focus on yourself.

Gemini (May 21st – June 20th)

Geminis are the center of the action in the cosmic view this month. So get ready to be busy, no — overwhelmed. It won’t all be about things to do, it goes deeper than that. It’s time to understand what is holding you back, as well as what you’re doing that brings the magic.  With the full moon on the 5th in Sagittarius, your beliefs will be scrutinized. They’re either helping or hindering you, so be objective.

Venus is still retrograde in Gemini until the 25th and Mercury goes retrograde on the 18th in Cancer. Old issues around values and finance may reemerge. You’re a genius at solving the problems of others, but now it’s time to take these lessons and bring them back to yourself. Being clear on your identity and goals is the quest.

Saturn, Jupiter, and Pluto are retrograde in your 8th house, and they stir up more light-bulb moments. This is the house of transformation and any planets that pass through its energy must take a deeper look at themselves. Be prepared for self-examination.

Uranus in Taurus continues to bring surprises, or things you cannot control. The lesson is to let go. Have faith in yourself and the universe. What’s yours will come back to you.

The Neptune station in Pisces on the 23rd brings good news when it comes to career. Venus goes direct on the 25th and relationships are either better or worse because of what has been stirred up. Retrogrades bypass illusion and bring up the truth.

If you’re in a relationship you’re being asked to acknowledge what’s not working and do something about it. If you’re single, you may feel a longing for an old love. Figure out what you’re missing and let go. If it didn’t work then it probably won’t work now, unless both of you have changed.

Read about how you can use the romantic energy of a full moon.

Cosmic View for Cancer (June 21st – July 22nd)

Cancers are intuitive. With the Sun and Venus in your 12th house of the unconscious, your instincts are on high alert in this month’s cosmic view. You may feel hesitant or afraid to act, primarily because you’re not certain. Turning intuition into a choice is always a challenge. However, when you learn to trust yourself you’ll find that you’re seldom wrong.

Mercury goes retrograde on the 18th in your sign, and it helps you clean up your “things to do” list. Anything you started that’s not finished has a good chance of getting done. Don’t try and make something new work, it will be delayed.

Venus continues to go retrograde until the 25th in Gemini and relationships remain under scrutiny. What’s not working is evident, what is will also be strong. It’s a time for truth and a realistic look at who you’re with and why. Remember, if it works for you and you’re happy, that’s all that matters.

The sextile from Mercury to Uranus provides you an endless array of new ideas. Your mission is to make sense of them and choose the ones you want to use. If you can break the patterns of your past and allow new paths to emerge then you will move forward with strength and confidence.

Cancers are creatures of habit, and they prefer repetition than new paths, but for now, you don’t have a choice. The new moon in your sign on the 21st gives you an opportunity to make a wish. Think about what’s important and send your request out into the universe. The Full Moon on June 5th  in your 6th house brings work issues to a head.

You should know where you stand around this time. If you’re in a relationship, your partner is not feeling strong. He or she may feel like hiding from life. It’s okay. It won’t last. If you’re single, then you’re attracted to someone very independent. It helps you feel free.

Leo (July 23rd – August 22nd)

Leos have a strong sense of self and it can appear to others as selfish. With Saturn in Aquarius for the next two and a half years, you’ll be forced to see the world through the eyes of others. You will need to understand your environment, not just dominate it. It’s a time of great growth.

With Uranus at the top of your chart, you’ve been preparing for a change in your goals and career for some time. With fear and the virus dominating our lives, you’re more prepared than your competition to take the next step. Don’t be afraid of change, if you keep the faith you’ll land on your feet – you always do.

With Jupiter and Pluto retrograde in Capricorn and your 6th house of work, you’ll have a chance to reconnect with projects or offers for work.

The full moon in Sagittarius brings issues of authority and power to a head. What is needed now is leadership. Venus retrograde in Gemini until the 25th affects relationships. They’re either working exceptionally well or what’s wrong is apparent and needs to be fixed. Financial issues also get your attention.

When Mercury goes retrograde on the 18th you will deal with your investments and your budget. Understanding what’s important and what isn’t is a major part of building a safe and secure existence.

Saturn in Aquarius insists you focus on partnerships, business, and personal relationships. They’re either working exceptionally well or hardly at all. Saturn sees what is without illusions. If you’re in a relationship, then you’re either closer to each other or your unresolved problems are now in the way.

If you’re single, you can meet someone special at this time. Know that if you should meet a new partner, it will happen quickly. They will feel like a perfect fit. Remember, this is a time of all or nothing.

Cosmic View for Virgo (August 23rd – September 22nd)

Virgos are excellent in a crisis. They quickly move past their fears and embrace the unknown, determined to shape it into something they can control. Venus in retrograde in your 10th house of career means your focus is on your goals. It’s a good time to review your choices and see how you can adjust them to achieve better results.

Don’t be afraid of change, just jump in and try something new. It’s only difficult until you get used to the new energy. The body adjusts to what’s different and strange, it’s how we survive. Whatever is new in your life, give it support, and make it work for you.

Saturn in your 6th house of work helps you reevaluate what you do and when you do it. Saturn has a critical eye. Don’t get depressed, use the information to open yourself up to new possibilities or dig in and keep the job you have. Accept what you cannot change. Retrogrades provide the opportunity to review what has been done and allows you a chance to change what you don’t like or no longer agree with.

Mercury, your ruler, goes retrograde on the 18th, in Cancer and your 11th house of friendships. Don’t be surprised if old friends show up or contact you. During times of crisis, we remember the people we care about.

The full moon in your 4th house of home, reveals what’s not working around your family. Once all the emotions are out of the way, you can unite and move forward. If you’re in a relationship, your partner is not doing well.

Either they are frustrated because they can’t accomplish what they want to or they’re just unhappy with where they are. They have to figure it out themselves. It’s your chance to show support.  If you’re single, it’s not a good time to meet new people.

Take care of yourself and reconnect to old friends.

virgo

Libra (September 23rd – October 22nd)

Libras represent truth, harmony, and beauty. When things are in alignment there is beauty. Truth is a more challenging subject. It’s not always easy to speak up and express how you feel  – especially if it challenges someone else’s opinion.

With Uranus in your 8th house, what you’re experiencing is a time of transformation in the June cosmic view. Whatever truth you’ve been hiding from, you may find it impossible to avoid. It’s time to see the world with a filter that plants your feet on the ground. Illusions and delusions won’t survive this energy.

Venus, your ruler, is retrograde until the 25th and it’s helping you take a hard look at your ideals, the ideas, and beliefs that have uplifted you in the past. However, with a reset on how you see yourself and the world, it’s time to find a new center, a place that will embrace a greater truth, one that includes the concept that you are not a static being, you are constantly in motion and evolving. The more you accept this cosmic view, the more you are able to adjust to whatever happens in your life.

Mercury goes retrograde on the 18th in Cancer, the ruler of your 10th house of goals and career. This is your chance to make adjustments or change your direction. Don’t hesitate to do so as soon as you are clear.

The new moon in Cancer on the 21st is a chance for a new beginning when it comes to your career. Ask for what you want and don’t be afraid to get it. Don’t let fear rule. Choose faith now and tomorrow you’ll attract opportunity.

If you’re in a relationship, your partner feels lost and unsure of what they want or how to get it. Just be supportive. If you’re single, you may meet people who are very different from yourself. It’s meant to give you some needed experiences.

Cosmic View for Scorpio (October 23rd – November 21st)

Scorpios struggle with the meaning of power. It’s important to be clear on where you believe the power lies. Is it with money and success or how strongly you’ve aligned yourself with your higher powers – your ability to transform yourself and the world.

Scorpios have incredibly strong instincts, but they need to listen to them if they want an advantage. No Scorpio is worth its salt, follows the crowd. You value uniqueness more than anything else and want to be recognized for it.

With Venus still retrograde and Mercury about to join it on the 18th in Cancer, it’s important to reaffirm your beliefs. The energy is shifting and it’s directing you toward your foundation and your values. What did you build your life on? Are you happy with your choices?

With Saturn now in Aquarius your focus will be on what you rely on for strength and confidence. If it’s faith in yourself and your talents then all is well. If it’s based on exterior things then you’re feeling vulnerable. Wherever you are not anchored in your truth, you’ll have difficulties. Don’t get upset, fix it.

The full moon on the 5th in Sagittarius activates your 2nd house of finance and values. You’re either incredibly good at managing money or you haven’t paid attention. What’s not working will be obvious. When it comes to values, you may discover that they’ve changed.

Hiding out at home has reduced your distractions and clarity is there if you want it. If you’re in a relationship, your partner has been changing and it requires some adjustments. You’ll either make them or you won’t, but remember your choice may determine the destiny of your relationship. If you’re single, you’re looking for someone who is independent, someone who gets you, but knows how to make themself happy.

Sagittarius (November 22nd – December 21st)

Sagittarius is the sign of wisdom and wisdom comes from the lessons you’ve learned —both the wins and the losses. When you learn from everything, you learn quickly.

Jupiter, your ruler, has been in Capricorn since November of 2018, and it’s helping Pluto expose what needs to be looked at. Unfortunately, our weaknesses both personally and as a country, have been exposed through the virus.

Don’t lick your wounds, change your life.

When everything around you is uncertain, it’s important to be anchored in truth and have a clear idea of what you want to achieve. There is an opportunity in change and chaos, but you have to be ready to act on a moment’s notice. This is not a time for the weak-hearted. The question to ask yourself is how much of what you do reflects your values.

Have you sacrificed what’s really meaningful in order to get ahead? If you have, now is the time to make changes. It’s so easy to get lost with the pressure from bosses, family, and just life in general. You’re a strong sign and perseverance is one of your natural talents.

With Venus in retrograde in your 7th house, you may find partnerships of all kinds, business and personal, difficult. This is your chance to fix the problem or move on. The full moon on the 5th in your sign brings an emotional outburst that can’t be avoided. It’s important to pay attention to what is revealed. Don’t let your fear lead. Ruled by your mind, your talent lies in words and ideas, but they must be turned into action.

If you’re in a relationship your partner feels overwhelmed and misunderstood. You can help, but they have to figure it out. If you’re single, stay that way for now. Have fun if you can, and things will fall into place.

sagittarius

Cosmic View for Capricorn (December 22nd – January 19th)

Capricorns are more comfortable with power when they’re not center stage. They are often the man or the women behind the scene, but they call the shots. For several years your sign has been the host of two of the most powerful planets in the heavens:  Pluto and Saturn.

Jupiter joined the group at the end of 2018 and will leave by the end of this year. These three planets have created an intense environment with the power to redirect your life. There are some things you don’t have power over, let them go, and focus on what you can make happen.

Saturn is your ruler and it removes the fog wherever it casts its light. It happens to fall on your house of values and money. It’s time to turn your critical eye on what’s really important.

With Venus retrograde, money and relationships require your attention. The insights you have now can improve your life when the world begins to move forward.

Mercury goes retrograde on the 18th in Cancer and brings your focus to partnerships and what you need from them. The Full Moon on the 5th in Sagittarius rules your 12th house of the unconscious. Be prepared for a surprise. Whatever happens is a message to help you advance, even if it initially throws you off-center.

Uranus in the 5th house reminds you that your independence is important. You must take charge of all aspects of your life. This is no time to be lazy. If your life is in the hands of others, then it may encourage you to start your own business or work freelance.

If you’re in a relationship, you will value it more or want out. It’s up to you. If you’re single, it’s not impossible to meet someone, but you do have to want it badly or it won’t happen.

Aquarius (January 20th – February 18th)

Aquarius is the sign of independence and the ability to express your uniqueness. With Saturn now in your sign, the truth is being revealed whether you want it or not. You can see where your efforts have failed and what has worked. Learn from the past and improve your position.

Saturn is square Uranus, your ruler, so the structure or routine of your life may change. The planet Saturn rules your 12th house of the unconscious, so lessons will come your way, whether you’re ready for them or not.

Saturn is the taskmaster of the zodiac, it has a very critical eye, but its mission is to help not destroy. Look at what it’s showing you and make the necessary changes no matter how difficult it is to do. Saturn produces long-term and lasting rewards.

With Mars entering your 3rd house at the end of the month, there’s a greater need to communicate to others who may be useful. They need your guidance or just your support. And if you give it, you’ll receive what you need in return.

Venus is retrograde in Gemini, ruler of your 5th house of authority and children. It’s now clear to you where you need to take a stand.

Mercury is also retrograde but in Cancer and your 6th house of work. You’re finishing up old projects and it will help you clear your desk and be ready for the new. The full moon on the 5th in Sagittarius brings a friendship to a head.

If you have unresolved issues, they’ll reemerge to be dealt with. If you’re in a relationship, your partner is frustrated and concerned about finances. But perhaps you’re single, and you could meet someone, who is interesting and diverse.

These things are important to you, but proceed with caution, you’re not yourself.

zodiac sign

Cosmic View for Pisces (February 19th – March 20th)

Pisces can be the way to escape life or the path to transforming it – it’s really up to you. It works on faith, what you believe you create. No faith, no results, even if you work hard. Yes, faith is the most important ingredient in success and possibilities.

When you believe, the magic happens. Neptune, your ruler, has been in your sign and will remain there for a few more years. It’s helped you go deeper into who you are. Right now, you can’t avoid that inner voice, it’s too strong.

Yes, you’re psychic by nature and if you’re willing to listen to your gut and everything that it tells you, then you will connect to real power which lies within, not in the outside world.

Uranus in your 3rd house has improved communication and the square to Saturn has forced you to be more focused and serious.

Saturn is what every Pisces needs in the current cosmic view. You are always in search of ways to eliminate your insecurities and fears. The more faith you have, the easier life is, and the more magic you create to solve your problems. The full moon on the 5th is in your 10th house of career.

Your goals want to speak to you. Either you’re going back to work or getting a new job. Either way, things are moving forward in your June cosmic view.

Venus retrograde in Gemini at the base of your chart, helps you see yourself and life differently. Add the retrograde of Mercury in your 6th house of work and you can be productive, but not without adjustments.

Use the flexible side of yourself now and know you’ll have more choices later. If you’re in a relationship, your partner is preoccupied. Give them some space. If you’re single, you’ll have a chance to meet new and interesting souls.

You’re not in a stable place so just enjoy yourself this month.

cosmic viewFinal Thoughts on the Cosmic View for June of 2020

Take time out of every day to improve your life and enjoy yourself throughout the month. Use this cosmic view to guide you, and always remember the importance of your relationships and live life to its fullest.

www.lindajoyce.com

Psychology Explains How to Deal With the Grief of Losing a Pet 

Pets are like family members. It makes sense then when you lose your pet, it’s emotionally difficult. You may wonder how to deal with the grief and sense of loss you feel. So, how do you deal with the grief of losing a pet?

Realities of Your Struggles After Losing a Pet

Here are some realities you will face as life goes on without your furry friend.

1 – The pain of losing a pet is real

Your pet is part of your life. Sadly, the death of your pet is inescapable because your pet has a much shorter life span than you. Facing your pet’s death is grievous and painful. It hurts your heart.

Studies found that pet owners who lose their pets may have trouble sleeping, have eating disorders, limit their social life, and may have trouble at their job. They’re apt to be depressed, anxious, lonely, and have feelings of emptiness.

You may want to seek out professional help if you’re grieving the loss of your pet. Talking with a counselor gives you strategies to walk through this difficult time.

losing a pet

Here are 20 things to say to comfort a person who is grieving.

2 – Grief is normal after losing a pet

Don’t feel bad about grieving the loss of your pet. It’s a normal reaction. You’ll feel a span of emotions as you grieve. You may go through some or all seven of the stages of grief which are:  grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Be sure to talk to someone like a trusted friend or family member about how you’re feeling. Other pet owners will understand your grief, especially those who’ve lost pets. Hang out with them and talk about your sadness. They’ll be supportive and empathetic to your loss.

3 – Don’t try to ignore your grief

Ignoring grief doesn’t make it go away. You are actually prolonging the healing process when you choose to stuff it and pretend you’re fine. You may be afraid of these strong emotions you’re feeling. That’s normal. Find an emphatic pet owner who’s lost a pet. They can help you walk through your grief.

4 – Self-care after you lose a pet

Take care of yourself while you grieve the loss of your pet. Take your medicines, exercise, and eat healthy foods. Don’t give in to eating to ease your pain.

Loads of ice cream and chips won’t help your grieving process. Plus, if you gain weight, you’ll feel even worse about your circumstances.

Self-care means caring for all of you. Listen to uplifting podcasts or read a book on positivity for your mind. Look to your faith for strength during this painful time for your soul. Speak to your pastor about your grief, ask for prayer.

heartbroken

Never say these things to a heartbroken person.

5 – Face your grief, one day at a time

Grief is emotional, but it affects you physically, too. You may feel like your heart is broken, you may feel the saddest you’ve ever felt. That’s okay, take it a day at a time. Don’t rush your grieving or feel bad about it.

Face one day with all its emotions, and the next day face a new day. Cut yourself some slack in other areas of your life. Don’t worry too much about finishing making photo books of your summer vacation, unless you want to make a photo book of your pet.

Create a schedule of eating, working, playing, and sleeping. Try to stick to this so you won’t have to remember if you ate or not. Routine can help bring comfort and just help you get through another day.

6 – People (non-pet owners) may not get it

Some people will minimize your loss. They don’t do this out of meanness, but without thinking. Sometimes people are clueless.

Studies show that our society underestimates the supportive nature of a pet and how grievous it is to lose your pet. It’s hard to accept the loss. People don’t understand what it pet loss feels like, especially if they’re not a pet owner.

They may say things like,  “Are you getting another pet?” or “It was just a cat.”

You will need to navigate comments like this without getting bitter or angry at these people. Talk to other pet owners who will understand your frustration at such comments.

7 – Find support in a group

Pet bereavement groups are growing. Researchers in Italy found that there’s a growing need for pet bereavement and end of life for Italian pet owners. Many pets are therapy animals, not just pets. Pet counseling services are growing in the U.S. Research online to see if there’s a pet bereavement group in your area.

Ask your vet, they may know of groups within their practice. Don’t suffer alone. When you find a bereavement group, you’ll find like-minded folks who understand and can help you walk through your grief without fear of being misunderstood.

8 – Take care of your other pets

If you have other pets, be sure to show them attention. They are probably feeling some loss of their friend, too. Animals are sensitive. They can become depressed and sad when they lose an animal buddy, especially if they played together a lot.

Take your other dog for a longer walk than normal, or play with your cat a bit more. Hold them and pet them. Talk to them in a soft, kind voice, letting them know you’re here for them. As you comfort your pets in their grief, you will feel better about your own grief.

9 – Gratitude for your pet

Be grateful for the time you had with your pet. At first, memories may be too painful, but over time you’ll be able to cherish your memories.

Keep a gratitude journal and jot down all the ways your pet was a blessing. Write out the funny things your pet did, the scary medical trips, etc.

Find ways to cultivate gratitude for what you had, not what you’ve lost. It can help you turn your sadness into gladness and gratefulness.

10 – You’re not alone

Remember, you are not alone. Pets die every day. So many people miss their pets and feel sad about their loss. Take heart knowing others have gone through this experience and have found the courage and strength to get through it.

Talking with other owners who’ve lost their pets can help. There may be someone going through the loss of a pet, and you can help them. Helping others sometimes eases your own grief and pain.

How to Help Others Who Have Lost Their Pets

If you’ve lost a pet, you know the grief and sadness you feel. When someone you know goes through a similar experience, find ways to help them walk through the grief of losing their pet. Good chance you’re the best person to help them since you understand how it feels.

depression meme

1 – Show them you care

Call them, take over a meal, stop by and take them out for coffee. Tell your grieving friend that you’re praying for them. Bring them a special dessert of a smoothie. Take them for a drive and allow them to talk about their pet. Tell them you understand how it feels. Tell them it’s normal what they feel, you felt that, too. Make them feel loved and cared for.

2 – Be there for them

Tell them to call you anytime, day or night. Reassure them of your friendship and commitment to them through this dark time. Knowing someone is walking with you through these helps ease the pain and sadness of the loss.

3 – Talk and listen

Be a good listener. If they want to talk to you, just listen. Don’t correct them or try to point out a positive. Nod your head and look into their eyes. At some point, they’ll ask you a question like, “How did you get through this?” or “What should I do?”

Then you can talk,  reassure them you care for them, and want to listen to their grief. Tell them what helped you or what helped other people you know who’ve gone through the same thing. Having someone who will listen is huge. It will help your friend work out their feelings and worries.

4 – Recognize the connection they had with their pet

Tell them you noticed what a great bond they had with their pet. You noticed how their pet liked to be with them, and what a great owner they were. They’ll feel like you understand their sadness.

5 – Help them work through any guilt

Maybe they didn’t take their pet to the vet quickly, and it got too sick to save. Or perhaps they didn’t close the fence, and their pet got out. Maybe they had to euthanize their old pet who had cancer. Guilt is a common part of grieving. There are always feelings of “I should have done more.”

If your friend is feeling this reassure them that they did the right thing. Accidents happen, they can’t blame themselves.

losing a pet

Treasuring good memories helps the grief process.

Final Thoughts on The Grief You Feel Over Losing a Pet

When you lose a pet, you will grieve. You may feel sad, worried, lonely, or depressed. It’s normal to feel this way. It will go away after a while, but in the meantime don’t ignore your grief or try to push it away. It won’t go away,  but will pop out in another circumstance.

Be sure to take care of yourself and your other pets. They will be grieving, too. Take it a day at a time, but be aware that some people won’t understand what you’re going through. That’s okay because you can surround yourself with those who do in a pet bereavement group or a close friend who loves pets like you.

If you find yourself not being able to shake the grief, seek out professional counseling to help you get through.

Once you’re gone through the loss of a pet, you’re equipped to help others get through grieving a lost pet. Find ways to care and reassure them of your love. Listen to them and let them know you have their back as they walk through their grief.

10 Behaviors That Reveal a Bitter Person

Bitter people are hard to live with; they lash out at everyone around them. People wonder how to spot bitterness. So, what are ten behaviors that reveal a bitter person? And how do you cope with them?

It’s easy to spot a bitter person once you learn their tell-tale poor behaviors.

10 Red Flags of A Negative and Bitter Person

1 – Lack gratefulness

Bitter people feel cheated by life. Even if they have a great experience, they won’t express gratitude. The glass is always half-empty. They will not express thanks for their family or friends, their home, or their job because there’s still something wrong with each of these things. Something or someone has disappointed them, and that looms larger than their blessings.

How to cope with an ungrateful person:

Remember, this person isn’t a terrible person. Instead, they feel overloaded with emotions they can’t unravel. Kindness and patience will make them feel like you are a real friend.

bitter person

2 – Cynical

Cynicism is mistrust and suspicion. You can’t make a bitter person happy. In their eyes, you’ll  fall short in doing what they “expected.” They will say something like, “I’m not surprised; it’s what people always do to me.” They’re like a dark cloud on a sunny day. Their cynicism overshadows everything they do and say.

How to cope with the cynic in your life:

It may take your bitter friend or colleague a while to trust you. They may even push you away at first, but be persistent. Don’t let their bitterness pull you down, stand firm in who you are. Your bitter friend no doubt has suffered, and they’re lashing out. So, be emphatic towards them without being drawn into their bitterness.

3 –  Bitter people hold a grudge

It’s normal for you to have a misunderstanding with someone, but you can work it out and then let it go. You don’t hold grudges. Even if you can’t agree on a solution, you’ll let it go since you don’t want to spend your time or energy holding on to a grudge. But bitter people can’t let go of things. They become obsessed with their grudges and the people who have wronged them.

How to cope with resentful feelings of others:

Don’t agree with their assessment of other people. If they want to vent their anger, tell them you disagree in a kind but firm voice.  Show them you aren’t entering into their bitterness trap.

4 – Jealousy

Bitter people are jealous of others who they perceive are getting what they deserve.

 Studies found that your emotions influence your judgment. Participants were first made to feel love, then asked to rate different candies and chocolate as sweet or bitter. The participants who felt love rated the candies and chocolates as very sweet. But the participants who experienced jealousy said the candy and chocolate were less pleasing.

Bitterness influences a person’s perception. They become jealous when their friends or co-workers talk about a recent success, a new home, or their promotion. They can’t stand it that others receive things they want or think they should have.

How to cope:

It’s not a good idea to share personal things with a bitter person. Their jealousy will turn into gossiping about you to others, putting you in a bad light. Keep your conversations shallow and upbeat.

bitter person

5 – They are vocal about their bitterness

Bitter people aren’t private about their anger. They let everyone know that their life is unfair. They’re looking for someone to agree with them so they can justify their feelings. Their bitterness spills out onto others, like acid tainting anyone’s good mood. Working with a bitter person is exhausting because they suck all the life out of you by continually complaining and bemoaning their lot in life.

How to cope:

Don’t get dragged into their bitterness rant. If the person has become more of a friend to you when you are alone with them, bring up to them how they sound, their propensity to be angry and bitter. It could be that no one has ever pointed this out to them and shared it humanely.

6 – Blame shifting

A bitter person blames others for their circumstances rather than accept responsibility. They will set themselves up as the “ideal worker” or “ideal parent.”

Others will be the ones who have caused problems at work or ruined their kids, but not the bitter person.

They have no responsibility because they feel like the victim. Indeed, they are the sufferer (in their minds). Also, this person won’t take responsibility for their angry, bitter emotions. They justify their blame-shifting with abusive language.

They’ll say things like, “I wouldn’t have to do this if she did her job!” or “She made me so mad I could have hit her.”

One study found that people who blame shift want to save face, to conceal their role.

How to cope with a person who refuses to accept accountability:

Refuse to accept the blame, stand your ground in an emphatic voice and manner. Don’t get dragged into their blame-shifting of others either.

7 – Irritable and annoyed

Bitter people always find something to complain about. Something or someone annoys them. Nothing is ever right in their life. They’ll complain about people at work, their family and people at stores.

In their minds, their co-workers aren’t doing their jobs, and their kids aren’t working hard enough at school, and clerks at the store aren’t competent. Irritation and annoyance is a daily emotion for a bitter person.

How to cope:

You’ll notice what triggers a bitter person’s annoyance and irritation. You may need to avoid doing things that irritate them within reason. Some people can’t stand being joked with or teasing. But don’t be afraid of a bitter person, but if you know something pushes their buttons, try to refrain from doing it.

meditation

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8 – Won’t like it if you’re positive and cheerful

Be ready for a backlash if you try to cheer up a bitter person. Angry people find cheerful, positive people irritating. Your positivity casts a light on their anger and resentment. They don’t want to own these emotions so they will react.

They’ll ignore you or spew gossip about you to others. You’ve trod on their bitter turf, and they don’t like it. They may gossip about you to feel better about themselves. Angry people want to squash your happiness. It’s a form of manipulation to get you to be like them.

How to cope:

A bitter person needs to see that not everyone is like them. They need someone to stand up to them. Even if they don’t like cheerfulness or positivity, it is affecting them. Be positive, and don’t feel bad about it. Your identity isn’t in the bitter person’s opinion of you. Let it roll off your shoulders if they don’t like you or gossip about you. They’re miserable, but you don’t need to be.

9 – Can’t congratulate others

Bitter people find it hard to tell someone they’re doing a good job unless they seek approval. They have moments of being sweet to people they want to impress. They will often go out of their way to acknowledge a boss. But people they see as less important are worthless to them, so they will rarely admit good work or accomplishments.

How to cope with someone who cannot (or will not) celebrate your victories:

Don’t try to balance out your bitter friend’s destructive emotions. If you have a good relationship, point out your angry friend’s lack of congratulation or being happy for others. Often, they don’t realize how they come across because no one has ventured into their bitterness to point out the truth to them.

10 –  Bitter people make sweeping assumptions

A bitter person’s irritations and anger display hostility. They make generalizations about people and situations, lumping everyone together. They carry prejudices, judge others, and cast themselves in an excellent light.

Studies show that such anger and hostility that a bitter person holds can affect their health. Doctors found those who are anger and aggressiveness could cause heart problems, diabetes, car accidents, or bulimia.

How to cope with people who make inaccurate assumptions:

Be emphatic without being drawn in. When they try to lump you into their generalization, gently point out you’re not that way. Be light-hearted with them, even joking in a self-deprecating way. If they drop their guard and show some vulnerability to you, share your concern for their health. Tell them they need help to control their anger because it’ll destroy them.

angry partner

Final Thoughts on Identifying and Dealing with a Bitter Person

It’s hard to deal with a bitter person. You don’t want to be around them because their bitterness overshadows goodness in the day. They’re often blinded to their own emotions; maybe they’ve experienced deep hurt in their lives and are angry about it.

Strangely, bitter people often attract cheerful people who want to help them. It’s not easy to be emphatic toward an angry person. Their bitterness is contagious. But you can be emphatic without agreeing with them.

Stand your ground, but show them kindness. It may feel like you’re hugging a cactus because of its angry barbs at you. Stay positive and find ways to have more in-depth conversations with them when they see you are their friend. Share your concerns for them, and point out things they say and do that hurt them.

Be careful. Bitterness is contagious. Don’t get bitten by their venom, so you’re drawn into becoming a bitter person yourself.

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