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6 Ways To Improve Your Relationship Without Sex

Relationships have good and bad times. What matters is that you keep improving and sticking together through those times, with positive thinking and love. But what if your relationship feels troubled lately? How can you improve it?

For many couples, sex is a go-to that feels like it’s solving problems and bringing them closer together. But it isn’t and shouldn’t be the be-all-end-all solution.

Here are six ways to improve your relationship without sex

1 – Seek To Listen And Understand

Positive communication is crucial for the health of a relationship and vice versa, but it’s a two-way street. You simply cannot call it “communication” if you’re doing all the talking and not nearly enough listening, after all. Here are some tips for listening and understanding:

  • Be Empathic

Empathy is how you and your partner can strengthen bonds, even in times of disagreement. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and see the world through their eyes. Think of their own experiences, temperament, fears, and dreams and how that shapes their perspectives and opinions. Step outside of yourself and take the time to imagine the world through their eyes.

empathy

  • Slow Down Communication

When arguments start to heat up, it’s not unusual to fall into an unhealthy pattern of defense, criticism, and more defense. The communication becomes toxic and slowly but surely devolves into fast exchanges of half-processed ideas and thoughts that can’t possibly be understood at that speed. So slow down. When things get too fast, hit the brakes and take the time to fully listen to your partner as they talk. This reduces the tendency to make statements based on empty reactions.

  • Be Curious About What Your Partner Feels

You don’t have to agree with your partner’s opinion to be curious about it. Practice being interested in how your partner thinks, feels, and behaves. What makes them tick? What drives them? This genuine curiosity can lead to deeper understanding, whether you’re discussing everyday matters or exploring more unique interests, like those found with from Chastity Cage UK. This interest can dramatically slow down arguments as you ask more questions and listen to the answers instead of trying to convince them that your way is better.

  • Make Your Goal Understanding Your Partner

It’s easy to focus purely on getting your point across to the extent that all you do is repeat yourself in the hopes of being understood. But that isn’t a productive way to communicate, as it will only provoke your partner into doing the same, and soon you’ll just be talking over each other. Instead, focus on understanding where your partner comes from and how they feel. The rest will follow.

2 – Plan Exciting Date Nights – and Make Them Regular

When your lives are busy, you stop going on dates as much as you used to. This is especially true if you’ve moved in with your partner. You’re always together, so you don’t see the need to go out just to be together again.

But date nights are very important. They keep things fresh and help the romance stay alive. More importantly, these date nights should be exciting and new, involving doing something you haven’t done before. Experiencing new things together has been proven to aid the feeling of mystery and surprise that fades as relationships progress. You can:

  • Go somewhere you’ve never been (for example a museum, a new mall, a night trip to another state)
  • Try a new activity (for example ice skating, yoga, or going dancing – or taking a new class)
  • Watch scary or suspenseful movies in the cinema
  • Go for something that gets the adrenaline going (for example bungee jumping, skydiving, or visiting a shooting range)

Of course, not all date nights can be exciting, as you need the time, money, and energy to make them so. Plus, there is some evidence that suggests that weekly date nights can cause planning stress that is more harmful than helpful. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t plan more “boring” date nights weekly that require little to no planning. You can simply:

  • Go out for a nice dinner
  • Go for a walk in a park or for a stroll
  • Go to the cinema 
  • Stay in and watch movies while eating takeout or junk food
  • Bake or cook together and share the resulting meal
  • Spend the evening cuddling

What’s the takeaway? One exciting and unusual date night per month, with little simple, no-plan date nights during the other three weeks!

3 – Keep Yourself In Check

Improving relationships is often about each individual in that relationship working to improve themselves. That means knowing when you need to reign yourself in, instead of continuing to want things out of your partner. Here are some areas to focus on:

  • Regularly Assess Yourself

Contrary to popular sayings, a happy relationship does not involve two halves forming a whole. It involves two individual, separate wholes coming together as a pair. Consider your self – your strengths, your flaws, your struggles, and everything else. Then, work on yourself and steadily move towards goals.

  • Using “I” Language

When you say things like “You did (insert action)” or “You made me feel (insert emotion),” you’re using “You” language. “You” language tends to immediately provoke a defensive reaction from a partner, who will now do all they can to protect themselves from your statements. Switch to “I” language – “I feel like you…”, “I’ve noticed that…”, and “I worry that…” are good examples that are received with more positive thinking than “You” language.

  • Find Your Emotional Triggers And Manage Them

Everyone has emotional triggers, usually a result of leftover emotional “baggage” from experiences past. Trauma, childhood experiences, previous relationships, and lessons learned the hard way could all contribute to this baggage. When something triggers that baggage, you can act in a way that seems unreasonable to others and can hurt those around you. Learn to self-soothe when these triggers are activated, and make sure your partner knows about them in case you don’t deescalate in time.

  • Apologize When Needed

You are an imperfect human being, as is your partner. You will make mistakes and be in the wrong just as many times as them. Besides, being “right” should never be your aimed-for outcome in an argument. Sometimes, you need to decide what fights are worth the effort and which ones are small and unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Pick your battles, and when you know, something isn’t worth arguing about, apologize, and move on. Your partner will apologize, too.

  • Make Time For Yourself

When you are in a relationship, it’s easy to get very caught up in being together that you forget who you are as individuals. You may rely too much on each other or become codependent. As such, remember to take time to just exist by yourself, doing what you like. Trust us, as strange as it sounds, your relationship will be stronger when you get to spend a little time apart!

marriage meme

4 – Reminisce On The Fun Times

Hard times are going to come no matter what. There’s no stopping them. But you can maintain your positive thinking through them with your partner. How? My reminiscing on fun times of laughter and happiness!

Research indicates that relationship satisfaction can increase when you think back on moments with shared happy laughter. Perception of good humor from your partner can reduce conflict by 67%! Plus, the more you laugh together, the less you fight! It can also put your relationship in perspective, showing you what matters.

You don’t need to have been dating for a long time to reminisce, and you don’t need to be going through a rough patch to do so, either. Whenever you feel like it, think back, share, and laugh together all over again!

5 – Focus On Increasing The Positive, Not Decreasing The Negative

Everyone has flaws, and there may be some concerning your partner that you are trying to change. Guess what? According to research, no matter how happy and positive a long-term relationship or marriage is, you are highly unlikely to be able to improve your relationship by changing things about each other.

Of course, we are by no means telling you to compromise on your relationship needs. But consider what unimportant “flaws” your partner has that you can easily overlook by building on the positive! These may include:

  • Forgetfulness
  • A short (but non-abusive) temper
  • Messiness 
  • Social awkwardness or shyness
  • Slow thinking or decision-making

Building on positive things instead of focusing on destroying negative ones is a much more productive way to improve and work on your relationships. Work on your strengths, and the weaknesses will fall behind.

relationship

6 – Be Appreciative

A little appreciation goes a long way in relationships. All you need to do is express it, and you’re already helping your relationship to some degree! Here are some ideas for going about it:

  • Display Affection

Thank your partner for helping you with an errand. Hold their hand while you’re walking outdoors. Give them random hugs. Compliment them regularly. Make sure your partner knows, through these small little gestures, that you love them!

  • Plan Surprises

Take your partner by surprise, sometimes with little things. When you see something online that reminds you of them, share it with them! When you see a cheap little trinket or item they’d like, buy it! Now and then, surprise them with a delicious dinner, tickets to something they’d love, or even just a little pampering!

  • Mind Your Body Language

If you feel like your relationship is getting stale, it usually doesn’t take much to help reignite the spark. Make eye contact with them. Touch them in a nonsexual but romantically intimate way, such as by holding their hand, resting a hand on their leg, or sitting close enough to them that your shoulders brush. This can connect you in surprising ways!

  • Appreciate The Little Things

Small little things your partner does – like holding your hand, doing your share of chores when you’re tired, or buying you a snack you love – should be appreciated. You should also work to fulfill the little things in your partner’s life, too. Listen to what they talk about and remember their likes, dislikes, hopes, and desires – then do small things based on what you know of them to brighten their day!

  • Say “I love you” Often

When you’ve been together for a long time, you may not express your love as often because it’s a given. Of course, you love each other! You’re together, aren’t you? But don’t forget that saying that little three-word phrase can put a smile on your partner’s face. They may know you love them, but it’s good to hear it, too.

relationship meme

Final Thoughts On Trying These Ways To Improve Your Relationship Without Sex

Physical intimacy is an important part of many relationships, but it doesn’t have to be the central factor of yours – and it shouldn’t be! There are many other wonderful ways to build on your bond and boost your relationship together in positive ways, so use those and see where they take you.

10 Ways To Capture Someone’s Attention (In 30 Seconds Or Less)

You are one person in several billion. It’s easy to slip into feelings of insignificance or to feel like you’re just one quiet person among far too many to be noticeable. With all that going on, how can you capture someone’s attention?

Well, there’s good news! As it turns out, these feelings of smallness don’t mean you aren’t an interesting person with lots to offer. The trick is learning to showcase that from the beginning, so people find you attractive, too – and fast, before their attention spans run out!

Here are ten ways to capture someone’s attention in 30 seconds or less.

1.    Leave Some Mystery

Have you heard of the uncertainty reduction principle? You can use it to your advantage to get the positive results that you want. It states that the human brain continually seeks to reduce levels of unsureness or uncertainty about the things it is focused on.

Similarly, there is also the Zeigarnik effect, which suggests that the human brain tends to have a better memory for incomplete thoughts, information, and tasks. This technique is commonly used in business or audience-oriented presentations, but you can use it in your everyday life too!

When introducing yourself, don’t spill your whole life story right away. Give a little bit of information that is interesting, but don’t expand on it unless asked about it – and the people around you will ask about it, trust us!

capture someone's attention

2.    Get A “Yes” Response First

When you open with a question that elicits a “no” response from a person, what you’re doing is changing the person’s entire perception of the event.

You see, “yes” and “no” are more than just positive and negative indicator words. They can change the way the brain processes information. “No” responses close the minds of the people giving them. If the first question you ask is responded to with a “no”, that person is already losing interest, and fast.

But what about “yes” responses? These open the person up to possibilities, putting them in a mindset of positive thinking and potential interest. They haven’t slammed the door on you – instead, they’re opening it further. You can elicit “yes” responses by:

  • Opening with a question that only confirms what you already know, “You work as a teacher, right?”
  • Asking a question that is almost 100% guaranteed to net a “yes” response; “Wouldn’t it be nice to get a raise?”
  • Mirroring a previous statement from them, “It sounds like you’re having a difficult time getting through to your mom right now, huh?”

3.    Use Body Language

Nonverbal communication is equally essential to verbal communication and can tell another person crucial, subconscious information that changes their levels of interest in you. If you slouch and give off closed-off vibes, you are less likely to capture someone’s attention.

To be likable and, therefore, attractive to others, you need to create positive thinking in your conversation partner. Here are some body language tips for positive communication and attention-grabbing:

·         Posture

Maintain an open posture without crossed arms or legs when speaking to someone else. Face your body in their direction with openness and stand with confidence – squared shoulders, straight back, and pleasant disposition. Be relaxed but confident!

·         Eye Contact

When you don’t use eye contact, your conversation partners can feel like you’re talking to a wall. Don’t overdo it, but look at the other people and meet their gazes to give your presence a more resounding impact. This action speaks of confidence and allows you to build a connection with others.

·         Smile

Appearing friendly is often all it takes to encourage others to stay in a discussion or conversation with you. It makes others feel welcome and like you like them, which makes them like you in turn. If you look moody, you’ll drive everyone away, no matter how interesting you are.

attractive people

4.    Engage The Senses

Human beings naturally pay more attention to people who stand out. Their senses inform their subconscious thoughts of who is most impressive. You can engage someone’s senses to grab their attention by:

  • Having a good understanding of fashion (vision)
  • Wearing something with a unique twist or pop of color (vision)
  • Maintaining a friendly, open posture and expression (vision)
  • Putting on a lovely perfume, cologne, or scent that is pleasant but not overbearing (smell)
  • Speaking in a confident, clear voice (hearing)
  • Offering candy, gum, or something else small to the people you meet (taste)
  • Providing earnest, firm, and confident handshakes (touch)
  • Gently touching others in a friendly and non-invasive manner, such as by tapping their shoulder or patting them on the back (touch)

5.    Have A Hype Team to Help You Capture Someone’s Attention

If you’ll be out and about and are aiming to catch the attention of potential dates or even clients and employers in a not-too-formal setting, you can ask a hype team to come along with you. It’s difficult to talk about your achievements without bragging, but other people talking about them for you can do the trick.

Ideally, you and your friends will be happy to hype each other up whenever someone needs it. This way, it isn’t you asking for a favor, so much as it is just you and your friends doing what comes naturally. Still, there’s nothing wrong with asking favors from friends to help hype you up for something important!

Others will likely be more interested in you when they see that others are eager to talk about you, as long as it’s not overdone. Then, you don’t need to do any bragging – just let what everyone else says speak for you!

6.    Use Movement

Movement is an immediate attention-grabber. It stands out in the stationary world, and anything that stands outdraws the human eye. Plus, the human attention span doesn’t do too well when nothing’s happening.

So if you want to keep the attention of someone, use movement. Draw the eye of your conversation partners through action. Here are some ways to do so:

  • Nod or shake your head in acknowledgment
  • Talk with your hands (in moderation)
  • Let your body language speak (in moderation) – shrug, look thoughtful, and turn to follow the other person
  • Mirror the body language of the other person (subtly)
  • When telling stories or giving presentations, don’t be afraid to go all out with motions and movements

7.    Find A Way To Sell Yourself Without Bragging

We talked about having a hype team to do the bragging for you, but that’s not always an option. There will be times when you have to speak for yourself. But don’t worry! Keep your positive thinking going, because you can do this.

Of course, you’ll want to avoid sounding like your bragging, so don’t talk directly about your achievements or your material possessions. So don’t discuss:

  • The amount of money in your bank account
  • The car your drive or the expensive things you own
  • The achievements you’ve won or earned
  • Your job position (beyond a simple statement of your general occupation)
  • The number of people you’ve slept with

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t brag at all! Just do it through storytelling. Talk about where you grew up and what got you where you are today in a conversational tone. People often enjoy hearing inspiring stories of success, especially from a humble background. Talking about how you overcame your past is bragging diplomatically!

capture someone's attention

8.    Find What You Have In Common

What do you have in common with those around you? Pay attention to other people and find what you share with them. For example:

  • You like the same shows or sports team, as you can tell from the keychain on their bag or the decorations on their desk
  • You both have kids around the same age
  • You have mutual friends who introduced you to each other
  • You are facing the same struggles
  • You’re in a similar, simple situation – like you were both rained on while rushing into an appointment!

Now, use these things you have in common and start a conversation around them. This connection establishes an immediate connection with that person that makes them want to keep talking to you. This is a great jumping-off point and will grab their attention quickly!

9.    Become A Storyteller

When you know how to tell an engaging story, people will want to listen to you and give you their attention. Of course, this is easier said than done. Being a storyteller requires practice, especially if you don’t have an innate ability for the skill. To practice, you should:

  • Consider what you want your stories to say about you
  • Write or plan your chosen account based on what you want them to convey; make it honest and factual, but intriguing and interesting
  • Practice your delivery in the mirror
  • Start by sharing the stories with your family and friends; ask them for feedback or pay attention to their responses
  • Improve on the flaws and keep practicing

10. Be Unique

We’ve already talked about the importance of standing out in grabbing attention, and this extends to the rest of you, too. When you let yourself be dictated by everyone around you and blindly follow the crowd, you’ll blend in and be indiscernible from the next person.

You don’t have to fake uniqueness, of course, to capture someone’s attention. In fact, you shouldn’t, as a lack of sincerity always become apparent sooner or later. However, what you should do is put on some positive thinking and dare to be your 100% bold, authentic, original self. Wear what you want, think what you want (but be open to other opinions), and do what makes you happy, even if it’s not what’s popular.

Still, there is something to be said for being fresh, new, and inventive. Again, this isn’t something you should fake, but if you have new ideas or ways of living to offer, don’t be afraid to show it off! It’ll grab the attention of plenty of people and keep them hooked and interested.

attractive peopleFinal Thoughts On Some Ways To Capture Someone’s Attention

Catching and holding someone’s attention is as simple as understanding the human mind, being genuine, and genuinely wanting to forge bonds with others. Once you have those tricks up your sleeve, all you have to do is use the ten methods we discussed, and you’ll be able to capture someone’s attention quickly!

10 Red Flags Of Reye’s Syndrome Every Parent Must Know

All parents are on high alert with regard to how to keep our children safe and protected from potential infection. Reye’s syndrome is a rare but serious complication that arises after a viral infection causes irreparable damage to both the brain and the liver.

Reye’s syndrome occurs most frequently in children who recently suffered a viral illness. Illnesses such as chickenpox and flu are triggers for this disorder. Doctors report this condition in cases where parents used aspirin to treat fever or other symptoms. Children will often feel headaches and body aches during an infection. Thus, parents alleviate that pain with aspirin.

The Onset of Reye’s Syndrome Symptoms

As Reye’s Syndrome progresses, symptoms can develop rapidly and overtake a person within a matter of hours. A first symptom that commonly appears is vomiting, followed by extreme irritability and aggressiveness. Children may become lethargic, confused, and may even experience seizures and slip into a coma. While there is no cure for Reye’s, early detection of symptoms is key, and medical intervention is necessary to avoid potentially life-threatening complications.

Doctors Order Tests to Diagnose the Disease

There a number of tests that can determine if your child has Reye’s Syndrome. A spinal tap can rule out other brain and spinal cord infections. And a liver enzyme test can determine if the liver suffered damage from this condition. CT scans can accurately measure and record brain activity to determine if the normal activity is taking place. Further, doctors order skin biopsies to determine if a child has a fatty acid oxidation disorder contributing to the illness. Knowing what you are dealing with is the key to prompt treatment that can reduce long term complications.

Causes of Reye’s Syndrome

Medical professionals are not positive about what triggers or causes Reye’s syndrome. Several factors may play a role in its development. It can occur more frequently in those children and teens who have a fatty acid oxidation disorder.

Other medicines to steer clear of before, during, and after viral infections include Bismuth subsalicylate and topical products containing wintergreen oil. It is also thought that exposure to certain chemicals like herbicides and paint thinners can trigger the development of Reye’s syndrome.

chickenpox

Know the earliest symptoms of chickenpox.

Treatment of The Disease

As the occurrence of Reye’s syndrome is so rare, there is little information about it that sheds insight on how to prevent its occurrence. That being said, most of our energy is devoted to treating and alleviating symptoms before they become life-threatening. Doctors will make sure children maintain balanced electrolyte levels and that they stay well hydrated. Careful monitoring of the heart, liver, lungs, and respiratory system will continue for the duration of the illness to ensure that the patient remains stable. Children who experience seizures will receive appropriate medications to control their occurrence and minimize the damage from seizure activity in the brain.

Some common medications used to treat Reye’s include:

  • Insulin to control glucose metabolism
  • Use of steroids to reduce brain swelling
  • Diuretics to get rid of excess fluids

In some cases, a respirator may be necessary to regulate breathing that is erratic or too slow. The earlier that Reye’s is diagnosed, the better the outcome will be for a patient. If it is not caught and effectively treated, a patient could experience permanent brain damage or death.

Preventing Reye’s Is Key

Reye’s syndrome became less common in recent years because medical professionals and parents alike are more aware of the implications of giving aspirin to children.

Furthermore, some hospitals and clinics suggest that newborns undergo screening for fatty acid oxidation disorders. Children who are positively identified as having this type of disorder are to refrain from using products containing aspirin or salicylic acid.

Choosing instead to offer your child natural fever reducers can help reduce the risk of Reye’s in children who contract chickenpox or influenza. If for some reason your child has an ongoing prescription for a drug containing aspirin or salicylic acid, make sure he is up to date on vaccines for both chickenpox and influenza to reduce the risk of development of Reye’s.

Prevention and early detection of Reye’s syndrome are essential if you are to avoid long term health consequences and possible death. Knowing what signs and symptoms to look for is essential if you are to remain proactive about safeguarding your children from this rare but serious complication.

brain

Read how daily aspirin therapy might do more harm than good in adults.

10 Symptoms of Reye’s Syndrome

According to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Strokes, watch for these telltale signs that you may be dealing with Reye’s.

1. Diarrhea

Diarrhea is one of the first signs and symptoms that you may be dealing with Reye’s. Most prevalent in young children, look for loose and watery stools when changing diapers and training pants. This may be a sign that you are in for more severe symptoms as the disease progresses. Reye’s is initially difficult to diagnose, as initial symptoms may also be indicators of other childhood illnesses. Taking into account everything that your child is experiencing will help you to determine if more medical intervention is needed.

2. Rapid or shallow breathing

Another of the most prevalent in young children, rapid shallow breathing and rapid heartbeat are concerning symptoms your child can develop. You may see periods of shallow breathing that look much like hyperventilating during different times of the day. And periods of respiratory distress might grow longer and more severe. If you see that your child is having difficulty breathing, do not hesitate to seek medical attention as soon as possible to avoid more severe complications.

3. Vomiting

This symptom generally shows itself early in the progression of Reye’s, but it is more common among school-age children and teenagers. Persistent and recurring vomiting that does not have clear links to other flu-like symptoms should be checked out as soon as possible to avoid severe dehydration and other issues.

4. Unusual fatigue and sleepiness

Another symptom that is quite common among school-age children and teens, extreme fatigue and sleepiness can be hard to diagnose correctly. If this extreme fatigue and drowsiness occur in tandem with other aforementioned symptoms, you might want to have your child tested for Reye’s.

5. Lethargy

Many people assume that lethargy and fatigue are one in the same, but lethargy takes fatigue to the next level. A child who is lethargic has trouble moving and speaking, and the smallest exertion in physical movement is nearly impossible to achieve. Lethargy and drowsiness may be one of the initial indicators that Reye’s is present, or it may show itself later in the progression, when symptoms may be getting harder to control.

6. Irritability and mood swings

One of the major benchmarks for identifying Reye’s is irritability and volatile mood swings. They may lash out over ordinary situations and be unable to control their emotions, seeming irrational and volatile in normal circumstances. If this symptom is paired with other physical symptoms like diarrhea and vomiting, seek medical attention and possible intervention, if necessary.

lead poisoning

Every parent should be able to identify the symptoms of lead poisoning.

7. Temporarily paralysis

One of the most concerning symptoms of Reye’s is temporary paralysis. It starts in the extremities as weakness and moves inward, causing troublesome symptoms and limitations on movement. Children may experience moments of panic when this symptom presents itself, thinking that symptoms will be permanent. It is important for caregivers to remain calm and reassure them that when medical care is sought, the issue should subside.

8. Confusion

As this childhood illness progresses, it can lead to cognitive decline. Prolonged periods of delirium and confusion take hold and lead to additional stress on child and caregiver. Many children who are recovering from Reye’s undergo therapy to manage their anger over the condition. They might also express feeling overwhelmed and defeated as a result of their cognitive compromise.

9. Seizure activity

One of the more problematic symptoms of this childhood illness is the presence of seizures, muscle spasms and contractions that range from mild to severe. If you see your child beginning to develop seizure activity, it is important to safeguard your child. Furthermore, surround your child with proactive, caring providers in the event that they suffer an attack.

10. Loss of consciousness

A late-stage symptom of Reye’s is the gradual, then total loss of consciousness. A child gradually begins to lose elements of his/her perception, then gradually slips into a deep state of sleep. If you don’t seek medical promptly, this loss of consciousness can lead to brain death. As a parent, you can prevent this devastating event. But you must what to look for and when to seek medical treatment to halt symptoms.

reye's syndrome

Learn about a brave 7 year old boy who published a book about coping with rare childhood disease.

Final Thoughts: Awareness of Reye’s Disease is the Best Prevention

So parents need to be on the lookout for any childhood illness that could develop. Of course, it is essential that we remain vigilant and proactive as we monitor for signs and symptoms of Reye’s syndrome. Doing so could potentially save your child’s life. Stay alert and healthy this season and beyond!

How Narcissists Convince People of Their Good Intentions to Get Away With Everything

It’s an unfortunate fact that almost everyone has had a run-in with a narcissist before. They can come in the form of coworkers, toxic friends or family members, and even romantic partners. 

Once you’re free from the grasp of a narcissist, everything they do seems very transparent to you. But you may notice that, to other people, that narcissist is accepted and even well-liked as everyone falls for their tricks.

But why does this happen? Why can’t anyone else see what they’re doing? And why are you coming out looking like the bad guy?  It’s a frustrating situation. This is how narcissists get away with everything and convince people their intentions are good.

1 – They Act The Part

Narcissists aren’t going around showing off how cruel they can be. No, they’re carefully cultivating their appearance to appear the least imposing and the most likable! When someone seems so friendly, how could anyone think negatively of them? Here are some examples of how this happens:

narcissists

Psychologists reveal why narcissists deflect blame onto others.

  • They Are Charming

Narcissists are often charismatic and are huge proponents of the halo effect in psychology. This effect refers to how a particularly positive impression in only one area drives positive feelings in other ones. For example, you are likely to think well of someone you consider attractive or of someone who is in a high position at work.

  • They Seem Trustworthy

Narcissists are very good at making you feel like you can trust them. This is part of their charismatic nature – they say all the right things and, in the event of a conflict, make you want to be on their side. They’re experts at playing the victim, too, so you’d believe their intentions are always pure.

  • They Don’t Take Responsibility

In some cases, deflecting blame is obvious, but narcissists can be good at subtly shifting the burden to someone else. They can even find a way to take responsibility in such a way that no one assigns it to them anyway! When someone has never been in the wrong, it’s quite easy to trust them.

  • They’re Happy

Narcissists often are happier, with more positive thinking and a decreased risk of depression, anxiety, and even stress. When you see a happy person, they bring cheer to a room and make it challenging to think badly of them.

  • They’re Often Successful

Many narcissists are successful – both through their own merit and by climbing the social ladder with their manipulation and sneaky cleverness. When someone is successful, it is difficult to think of them as bad – and even if you do have negative opinions of them, they are likely to have power due to the success that makes it difficult to speak against them.

  • They Can Be Emotionally Detached

When conflict arises between a narcissist and their victim, the victim is likely to feel emotionally volatile, leading to outbursts and highly strung emotions. Meanwhile, a narcissist can be detached and calm, making them look reasonable and their victims look crazy.

  • They Will Do Anything To Preserve Their Image

A narcissist will lie, cheat, steal, and do absolutely anything to make themselves look like they’re in the right. Most people wouldn’t go to such ridiculous extents, and as such, we are likely to believe a narcissist who puts on a good show and performs a good magic trick.

2 – They Control The People They’re Close To

If a narcissist is surrounded by close “friends” and family who always seem to think well of them, it’s difficult not to consider them good people. You’ll hear stories of how wonderful they are, and things will look picture-perfect in many cases. How could you not find their intentions positive? Here are some ways narcissists control others:

  • They Choose Who They Are Close To

When a narcissist first encounters someone new, they already classify them: Are they a target or not? Are they a threat to stay away from, someone not to bother trying tricks on, or a potential victim? 

  • They Isolate Their Victims

Narcissists often work to isolate their close friends or romantic partners. They may become controlling under the guise of caring for the people around them. They may drop hints that their partner’s friends are bad for them, act upset when their close friends choose to hang out with other people or tell those in their life that they know what’s best for them. When you’re isolated, you’re more susceptible to believing what someone says.

  • They Gaslight

Gaslighting is the act of making others question their reality. Narcissists may imply that the people close to them are crazy or over-emotional. They may tell convincing lies in their favor in such subtle ways that the people around them question their memories. Gaslighting is a horrific form of manipulative abuse and can cause massive damage to someone’s self-confidence and psyche.

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3 – They Prey On The Goodness Of Human Nature

A lot of people will complain about human nature being harmful, but the fact is that we’re not giving ourselves enough credit. With positive thinking, you’ll soon realize that a lot of humans are driven to be good, only doing otherwise while feeling a lot of guilt, or after going through times that have hardened them. Here are some examples of this:

  • We Believe Others Are Inherently Good

Society functions on the idea that others are good. We naturally believe what others say unless they give us a good reason not to, and we feel driven to help others often. When you meet a narcissist, you are likely to think of them as good until they prove otherwise.

  • We Thrive On Cooperation

Once again, society requires that we cooperate. Without cooperation, society cannot function. It has been hardwired into our psychology to trust others to work with us, so you wouldn’t naturally assume that a narcissist isn’t going to or didn’t try to cooperate.

  • Most People Operate On Empathy

An ordinary person is usually an empathetic one. They can relate to or at least comprehend other people’s pain and feelings. Narcissists can prey on these tendencies, making themselves look like victims or having a tough time. This causes others to feel bad for them.

  • Lots Of People Believe In Second Chances

On the rare occasion that a narcissist does get caught, they can act very sad, sorry, and repentant, and it’s in most people’s hearts to allow for second chances. They’ll forgive and forget, and the narcissist gets to continue their actions.

manipulators

Learn several phrases that can stop manipulative people in their tracks.

4 – Stereotypes of Narcissism Aren’t Reality

We hear the word “narcissist” being thrown around a lot in everyday life, and along with that comes a lot of stereotypes. A lack of education on the disorder has led to a lot of people misunderstanding what narcissism is, leading to only more confusion that lets clever narcissists get away with their wrongs. Here are some things you should know:

  • Narcissism Is A Spectrum

People can display “normal” levels of narcissism without being actual narcissists – just like they can display levels of aggression without being violent people or being abusers. 

  • Narcissistic Personality Disorder Is A Real Mental Disorder

NPD is one of the few cluster B personality disorders, and people with it are often demonized by everyone else. However, people with NPD faced severe trauma that caused them to develop the disorder, and many of them are receiving treatment for it. Just because someone has NPD, it does not mean they are a terrible person.

  • NPD Is Both Common And Uncommon

Between 0.5% to 1% of the population receive a positive diagnosis of NPD. This means it’s by no means a common disorder, but it’s more common than you think! For every two hundred people in the world, one of them has NPD.

  • A Narcissist Isn’t Just Someone Who Is Self-Centered

Selfish people are ordinary in our world, but they are not necessarily narcissists in the medical sense. It’s important to note that people can have bad traits without them being tied to a mental health condition. Some people are just mean!

  • Narcissistic Abuse Is Not All Kinds Of Abuse

While narcissists may fall into patterns of abusing those in their life, not all abusers are narcissists. Some people are just abusers. Mental health conditions can increase someone’s chance of being toxic, but people can also be toxic without them.

  • You Probably Wouldn’t Know If You Were A Narcissist’s Victim

A lot of people think that they’d be able to tell when a narcissist has honed in on them immediately – but in all likelihood, you wouldn’t. At least, not unless you’ve had extensive experience with one. Narcissists are intelligent and are rarely apparent about their intentions!

  • “Narcissist” Should Be Treated As An Extreme Term

“Narcissist” can’t accurately be used to describe someone manipulative in the same way that “depressed” can’t be used to describe someone who’s sad. The term “Narcissist” teems with substantial psychological meaning, so it shouldn’t be thrown around lightly.

  • There Are No Clear Markers Of Narcissism

There is no obvious way to tell if someone is a narcissist. You can’t say, “She takes so many selfies! She must be a narcissist!” or “He’s so self-focused! He must be a narcissist!”. Narcissism, like many other mental disorders, manifests uniquely for each patient. 

  • Demonizing Those With Mental Illness Helps No One

The more controversy surrounds NPD, the less likely those who believe they have it will seek help. Mental health professionals may also turn away people concerned about NPD. As a result, this leads to fewer diagnoses and less available treatment. In turn, untreated NPD can then manifest negatively and result in harm to others.

narcissistsFinal Thoughts On How Narcissists Get Away With Everything And Convince People Their Intentions Are Good

Watching a narcissist get away with everything they do can be painful and anger-inducing. Worse still, everyone may be on their side when you try to speak out against them. Unfortunately, all you can really do is protect yourself and stand up for others who come forward with complaints.

By understanding the way narcissists operate, not only can you protect yourself from becoming one of their victims, but you can also be prepared to catch signs of narcissism in others. While not all those who display narcissistic traits are bad people, it’s usually better to be safe than sorry.

15 Indoor Activities for Kids Stuck at Home

Parents and children alike are facing uncharted territories as they have ample downtime on their hands right now. The shelter in place orders gives your family lots of opportunities for quality time, yet children often get anxious and rowdy if they are not adequately entertained. These indoor activities for kids will keep their brains engaged and provide hours of fun.

As a parent, it’s your job to keep them engaged in activities to keep them from getting bored to tears. Amidst the plethora of indoor activities, one can’t help but long for the excitement of venturing beyond the confines of home. Once the shelter in place orders are lifted and life returns to a semblance of normalcy, a trip to Jake’s Unlimited will undoubtedly be on the agenda for many families. With its array of attractions including arcade games, bowling lanes, laser tag, and more, it’s the perfect destination for a fun-filled day out. Not only does it offer a welcome change of scenery, but it also provides an opportunity for children to burn off pent-up energy and reconnect with friends in a safe and stimulating environment.

So, while the current situation may be challenging, the promise of future adventures at Jake’s Unlimited serves as a beacon of hope for families eagerly awaiting the chance to create new memories together.

15 Engaging Activities for Kids Stuck in the House

The best way to combat the long days is to have activities for kids ready to go each day. Remember, you control the situation and mood in your home. You can make this as a time of togetherness, or you can fret about all the things going on in the world right now.

If you want to make memories rather than fuel your anxiety, then here are 15 of the best activities you can do with your kids.

1. Puzzles

Puzzles are an excellent activity for kids of all age groups. Since you can find a puzzle with interests that suit your brood, you won’t have to worry about losing their attention. The good thing is that when they are done with this activity, you can switch to something else and come back later.

Puzzles are age group ranked so that you can find something for everyone. Older kids may like the 3D varieties, while younger children need bigger, colorful puzzles.

Don’t forget to provide word and math puzzles to stimulate the brain, either! Here is a free online resource to download some brainteasers for children.

nurture your child

2. Rock Painting

Rock painting has always been a favorite indoor activity for kids, but it became popular a few years ago. The beautiful thing about this artistic craft is that you can leave the finished products at public parks or the beach to give a glimmer of hope to someone else.

It’s best when you write inspirational messages on these rocks and leave them to encourage someone during this difficult time. There’s no size limit, so you can create a masterpiece as large as your creativity will allow you.

3. Make Slime and Homemade Clay

Children love to get their hands messy, making things. Slime and playdough both encourage their creative side as you can make anything you want with these concoctions. You can even make edible versions if your children are young, and you don’t want to risk it getting in their mouths.

Imagine all the things you can build and create with your homemade clay. And the best thing is it costs pennies to make when you use stuff from home.

4. Indoor Scavenger Hunt

If you’re looking for activities for kids during the shelter in place orders, then why not have an indoor scavenger hunt. If you have a big home with a garage and basement, then you can have fun with this adventure. The older your children, the more creative you can get with this game.

You can go into the yard to do this activity as long as you remain a safe distance from others. Who knows, it may become a regular activity at your abode.

5. Build a Blanket Fort

Who doesn’t love a blanket fort? Have each person build a fort and customize it according to their liking. Your child can bring along stuffed animals, electronics, and anything else they want into their space.

The best thing about this activity is it doesn’t cost a dime, but the memories you make with a fort are priceless.

6. Encourage Their Inner Chef

Most children love to cook. Whether it’s brownies, cookies, or making pancakes for breakfast, you can help them to enhance their culinary skills. Some of the best activities for kids are those that give them life lessons for when they have a family one day.

Plus, you can use this as an opportunity to teach your children how to eat and cook nutritious foods. Who needs processed junk anyway?

foods for kids

7. Lego Building Challenge

Legos are a fun toy that allows your child to use their creative side. If you have plenty of Legos and your kids love to build, then why not make a day of it? You can have them do freehand styles that allow them to use their imagination to create a masterpiece. Make it a contest and post the structures on social media for a vote.

8. Take a Virtual Field Trip

Thanks to the power of the internet, your children can take a virtual field trip. If you don’t have a virtual reality device, then you should not worry. You can take your kids anywhere you want in the world with sites that allow them to explore 3D with the power of the internet. It’s the next best thing when you cannot be there in person, and your children will love their adventures.

9. Have a Family Book Club?

Who says book clubs are only for adults? Allow everyone to choose a book that looks interesting to them. Order the books from one of your favorite online providers. When the shelter in place orders are in effect, there’s nothing better than curling up with a good story.

Think of all the fun you can have when your children delve into a book and explore the power of reading. You can have some fantastic conversations and even have foods that go along with the theme of the story.

indoor activities for kids

Consider this story, written by a 7-year-old boy with a rare disease.

10. Pull Out the Board Games

Not everything in this generation needs to be about electronics. Board games are a classic indoor activity for kids. So pull out those old family board games like Candy Land, Monopoly, and Clue. Teach your children how to have fun without being plugged into an electrical outlet.

Plus, there is something special about making memories gathering around the table, noshing, laughing, and having a good time. It’s one of the best ways to pass the time without WIFI.

11. Get Them Involved in Spring Cleaning

Shelter in place orders can be difficult for people of all ages. When you are looking for activities for kids, why not have them help with spring cleaning tasks? Since you have all this extra time, clean out closets, hose down the floor in the garage, or clean out your attic?

Since kids help to make these messes that make the house look lived in, why not get them involved in helping make it neat and tidy. Just don’t expect it to stay that way since they will be home for an extended period.

12. Have A Dance Party

Sometimes, you just need to shake off your frustrations and dance. There is nothing better than turning on some good music and busting a move. One of the best activities for kids is the ones that allow them to get some of their pent-up energy out.

They will enjoy showing you all their stellar moves as they glide across the kitchen in their socks or break into a moonwalk. Even though you may not be able to move as they do, you should try to put on your boogie shoes too.

indoor activities for kids

Learn about the Sensei who is offering free karate lessons online to help kids cope with anxiety.

13. Watch and Movie and Chill

Not all the shelter in place activities need to be keeping your kids moving at 100 mpg. You need to have ample time to relax and enjoy movies too.

There are some great movies out right now, and many cable companies are allowing you to rent theater released movies, so you don’t miss that box office hit.

There are so many free movie channels out there too that a small subscription fee can put you in contact with hundreds of offerings. Grab some popcorn, a cozy blanket, and snuggle next to your children during a good flick.

They will appreciate the snuggles as much as you do, and with everything so uncertain in the world, your embrace will make them feel better.

14. Have an Old-Fashioned Pillow Fight

No matter your age, there is something hilarious about being tossed about with a feathery pillow. Who doesn’t love a good pillow fight? If your child is young enough, you might let them jump on the bed too. A pillow fight allows you to bring out your inner child.

Get the whole family involved, as there is sure to be plenty of laughter. Who can be depressed about the shelter in place orders when you have a pillow coming at you from a laughing child?

15. Make a Time Capsule

Time capsules are a great thing to do if you are looking for activities for kids. It allows them to seal away important things from 2020 for someone else to find later. You can bury it deep in the ground or put it somewhere for your family to see in the future.

Include unique things like newspaper clippings, things special to your family, pictures, and whatever else they can think of to put in the tube. What fun you will have years from now looking back on these times.

vision board

Help older children express their dreams and goals through a vision board.

Finding the Best Indoor Activities for Kids

It’s challenging to stay in the house for such an extended period. Depending on what part of the country in which you live, you may not have weather fit to go outside yet. However, sunny days are coming. It’s essential to follow the orders to shelter in place to remain in compliance with the law.

While the entire world may be in a panic, it doesn’t mean that you must live there. You can teach your children how to make the best of things no matter what’s going on around them. What’s happening in your home is what matters most.

10 Ways The Earth Is Healing From The Global Lockdown

As the COVID-19 outbreak continues, many of us have been forced to change our lifestyles and daily habits. Some businesses have shut down. Many schools have closed temporarily. Companies around the world have their employees working from home. Because of the slow down happening worldwide, fewer people are commuting, which is helping Earth heal in unexpected ways.

We’re all facing uncertainty about the future. But perhaps this virus can teach us an important lesson about how we interact with Mother Earth. During the outbreak, many of us have been forced to get back to simpler ways of living. And this gives us the time to focus on our inner healing. Maybe this is just nature’s way of telling us to slow down and think about what’s essential in life.

Here are ten ways Earth is healing herself while we’re on lockdown worldwide:

global lockdown

1 – Air pollution is decreasing globally as fewer people travel.

 According to CNN, images taken over the first few weeks of March in the US show less nitrogen dioxide on Earth than at this time last year. In high traffic areas such as Los Angeles, the Bay Area, and Seattle, you can see a dramatic difference between March 2019 and 2020. California is one of many states that have stay at home orders in place, which means activities are limited to work, grocery shopping, and picking up medicines.

The State Department is discouraging traveling abroad, and the US and Canada have closed their borders to unnecessary travel.

Air pollution is also dropping in Italy and China during the virus outbreak. As of now, China is mostly back to normal after recording no new cases of the coronavirus. However, satellite images showed drastic improvements in air quality during the lockdown. When the virus first appeared in China in December 2019, China took it seriously to lower the spread. They closed down factories and placed people in quarantine. Those measures meant much fewer people were out on the roads.

The Copernicus Atmosphere Monitoring Service (CAMS) has observed through satellite images and computer models, a dramatic drop in surface particulate matter in China from December 2019 to early March 2020. They found a 20-30% decrease over much of China during this period.

Earth

2 – Venice canals are clear enough to see fish.

 With fewer people going out due to the outbreak in Italy, the Venice canals have had a chance to heal. Residents have reported such clear waters in the canals that you can see fish! Before, the constant boat traffic stirred up sediment, making the waters murky and dirty looking.

3 – Families are spending more time together and figuring out how to help each other.

 During a crisis, humans naturally come together to help one another. We are genetically wired to support each other during times of need, as this helped us survive for thousands of years. With businesses shutting down and most of us stuck inside our homes, we are forced to spend more time together. While it’s still a stressful time for many, especially with all the bad news we hear from all over the world, we can still rejoice in the company of family and friends.

Also, communities have started banding together to help those in need. Reports of people grocery shopping for the elderly, picking up medicine for those who are sick, and donating masks and gloves to hospitals are all over the Internet. Humanity may have its downfalls, but we sure do know how to keep our heads high and unite when the going gets tough.

4 – People are comforting each other in unique ways.

 From people singing and playing instruments on their balconies in Italy to people dancing in the streets in San Francisco (6 feet apart, of course), everyone is dealing with the crisis in their unique way. After a while, even the most introverted among us get bored and restless inside our homes while we wait for this to subside, so it only makes sense to have a little fun.

Many musicians have resorted to doing live performances on their social media platforms as a way to reach out to fans and uplift people’s spirits during these times. Celebrities such as Matthew McConaughey have been making videos with positive messages to help those who feel scared or uncertain during these times.

Even if we can’t physically be with those we love, we can always FaceTime or call them to show our support. Remember that we’re all in this together.

positivity meme

5 – Dolphins were spotted off the Mumbai coast during the COVID-19 outbreak.

 Due to the decrease in fishing activities, residents spotted dolphins playing and swimming around in the Arabian Sea. Videos are going viral because these dolphin sightings are rare in this part of the world. During the coronavirus outbreak, nature finally gets a chance to heal as humans have decreased activities that harm the Earth. What a beautiful sight!

6 – Borders are forgotten as countries work together to stem the outbreak.

 Last week when Italy’s outbreak was at its peak, China sent medical experts and supplies to help combat the virus. Doctors were able to bring their expertise as they already had experience in dealing with the virus firsthand. They signed contracts for 10,000 pulmonary ventilators, 2 million face masks, and 20,000 protective suits.  The US also sent 17.8 tons of medical supplies to China, such as masks, gowns, and protective suits.

7 – Animals are spotted in major cities as traffic decreases, and more people stay at home.

Some residents said that in Wuhan, they could hear birds chirping for the first time since traffic had died down. Normally, birds stayed away from the crowded areas, but residents got to enjoy their songs and watch them fly around since the city had become less hectic.

A Bloomberg reporter captured photos of deer wandering the emptied streets in Nara, Japan; deer have also been spotted near an airport in Britain. Dozens of monkeys assembled in front of a shop near Prang Sam Yod temple after the virus spread impacted tourism in Lopburi, Thailand. Normally, this area is so overrun with people visiting. But now the monkeys can explore and search for food.

This event shows how humans and animals can coexist as long as we respect their habitats. Unfortunately, we have been encroaching on animals’ territory for quite some time now, but perhaps we can learn a thing or two about protecting animals during the outbreak.

kind ways help animals

8 – Dogs are doing their duty to help others remain calm during the outbreak.

 In Austin, one therapy dog is still helping others despite the social distancing rules. Great Dane Tonka and her owner Courtney routinely visit nursing homes. But with the virus, they can’t go inside as they normally do. However, they’ve gotten creative. They write sweet notes and signs to hold up to the residents’ windows to bring a smile to their faces. In turn, the residents write things back like, “Tonka, I miss you!”

Also, people are still posting cute videos and stories of their dogs on social media, so we always have something to smile about even while stuck at home.

Animals are truly amazing and can help our mental and emotional health so much. Make sure to snuggle up with your dog a little extra. They know when you’re stressed and are probably giving you some much-needed love, too.

9 – People see blue skies in normally polluted cities throughout the world.

 In China’s Hubei province, the average number of good quality air days increased by 21.5% in February compared to the same time last year. From February 3 to March 1, CO2 emissions decreased by at least 25% because of lockdowns throughout China, according to the Center for Research on Energy and Clean Air (CREA).

China adds a whopping 30% yearly to the world’s CO2 emissions, making it number one polluting the air. So, a 25% decrease makes a difference in terms of air quality on Earth. CREA estimates it to be about 200 million tons — more than half the entire annual emissions output of the UK.

More blue skies were also noted in the Bay Area and Italy as pollution dropped while lockdowns took place throughout these cities.

10 – We realize what’s truly important here on Earth.

Perhaps the greatest healing taking place is within our hearts. We realize that it isn’t gaining “likes” on social media. It’s not money in our bank accounts or the possessions we have that make life worth living. It’s the impact we make on others’ lives and the memories we share. It’s not about racing through life trying to accumulate things we can’t take with us, but about living mindfully and intentionally, in harmony with our planet.

EarthFinal Thoughts: Mother Earth is healing the wounds we humans caused

While the virus is not something to be taken lightly, we can learn some lessons during this trying time. We can look after our neighbors who might need our help or call friends we haven’t talked to in a while to give support. We can examine our relationship with Earth and ask how we might become better stewards of our planet moving forward.

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