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5 Ways to Attract Positive People Into Your Life

March 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

They say misery loves its company, and the same goes for positivity. We attract the vibes we give off, so to have more positive people in our lives, we must become what we want to see. In recent years, it’s become apparent how positive thinking and affirmations can rewire our brains and shift our entire lives. After all, we experience reality based on our thoughts and belief systems. Thus, we can change to a different reality by merely tuning in to a higher frequency.

Whatever you focus on will start to manifest in your life whether you want it to or not. For example, the more you worry about things that can go wrong, the more you’ll start noticing adverse events in your life. Similarly, fixate on negative aspects of people, and you’ll attract people with those traits into your life.

“Be the reason someone smiles. Be the reason someone feels loved and believes in the goodness in people.” – Roy T. Bennett

So, you might ask yourself what you can do to start attracting more positive people into your life. We have some great tips for you below.

Here’s how to attract more positive people into your life:

Visualize yourself meeting positive friends.

Visualizing is a compelling technique. In fact, according to a Harvard University study, the brain cannot tell the difference between something real and imaginary. In the study, neuroscientists taught a simple 5-fingered combination of piano notes to participants. They used the thumb, index finger, middle finger, ring finger, little finger. They played this repeatedly for two hours for five consecutive days.

Another group of participants simply imagined playing the notes in the same combination. Just like the first group, they visualized themselves playing for two hours a day, five days in a row.

The researchers used a technique called TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) to examine the brains of participants every day. They found marginal or no difference between the minds of those who played the notes with their fingers and those who only visualized themselves playing. In both cases, the brain areas associated with learning grew, showing that the brain doesn’t know the difference between imagining something and it happening.

This study can apply to meeting new friends as well. If you imagine yourself attracting positive people into your life, your brain won’t know the difference between visualizing it and this taking place. Therefore, when you go out into the world, you’ll automatically attract the people you want because you’ve prepared your brain beforehand.

Work on changing your thoughts.

If you closely monitor your thoughts, you’ll probably notice that, unfortunately, negative thoughts creep in much more than you’d like. We all think without really paying attention to our overall thought patterns, and this leaves us living life on autopilot. In this manner, life happens to us, instead of us taking charge and determining our destinies.

Here are a few things you can do to cultivate more positive thoughts:

Start a gratitude journal. Studies have shown that expressing gratitude helps shift the brain from ruminating about adverse events into thinking more on the positive side. If you believe you already have what you need, you’ll start to attract better things into your life. In general, operating from an abundance mindset attracts positive things and people, while working from a sense of lack attracts more of the same.
Practice positive affirmations. Instead of thinking you’ll never achieve your dreams and will never amount to anything in life, shift it to “I am perfectly capable of living the life of my dreams. I have everything I need within.” Once you start empowering yourself with positive thoughts, you’ll begin to believe it, and this will show up in your daily life.
Meditate. As you begin meditating, you will have the opportunity to sit alone with your thoughts. Most people are afraid to do this, but observing your thoughts will help you see that you have power over them. Silencing the mind allows you to approach situations in a more responsive, rather than reactive, standpoint.

Examine your current friendships and relationships.

To draw better things into our lives, sometimes we must let go of relationships that no longer serve us. This doesn’t make anyone a bad person, but sometimes we just outgrow certain people. We can either distance ourselves while sending the person loving vibes and wishing them well, or just tell them upfront that the friendship isn’t working. Either way, both people can walk away, thinking of what they learned from the relationship instead of harboring bad feelings toward each other.

This way, once you get rid of anyone holding you back in life, you’re more likely to invite people who align better with your thoughts and beliefs. In general, if someone criticizes you or is always complaining, you probably want to distance yourself from that person. Remember, your vibe attracts your tribe, so the more you associate yourself with positive people, the more it will influence your mindset.

Give out what you want to receive.

If you want more positive people in your life, give more positivity to others. Even if you don’t always feel extra bubbly or cheerful, a simple smile to a stranger or complimenting someone on their makeup can go a long way. It’s not hard to practice positivity in daily life – it just takes reaching out to others and becoming the change you wish to see. Plus, the more you engage with others, the more you’ll invite positive friendships into your life!

If you’re an introvert, you might feel apprehensive about talking to others at first, but just remember that most people are friendly and would love the chance to get to know you.

Everything you put out into the universe comes back eventually, so if you want more positive friendships in your life, send that vibe out into the world and watch your life change!

Limit your exposure to negative news or media.

You might wonder how this applies to making positive friends. Well, if you think about it, our lives are the sum of what we give our energy to. The more we pay attention to negative news and media, the lower our vibration will become. If you want to have more positive people in your life, you must first tune yourself to that reality by lifting your frequency.

Negative news, movies, and music can rewire your brain and contribute to depression, whereas positive influences promote better moods.

Notice the news outlets and media sources you watch daily, and limit or eliminate anything that doesn’t align with the reality you want to experience. If you want to attract positive people into your life, it’s vital to become a positive person yourself. Part of that means raising your vibration through positive music, podcasts, books, and anything else that helps you shift your reality.

Reead why overexposure to media exposes your kids to negative people.

Bonus tip on how to attract more positive people into your life

Attracting positive people will become more comfortable if you first write down or pay attention to what you love about yourself. If you always talk down on yourself, how can you expect to attract anyone who will notice the best parts of you? Attracting authentic, positive people begins with you. Start to talk to yourself like you would your best friend, and you’ll invite people who also love themselves.

Self-love is the catalyst for significant changes in your life. Of course, it all begins with the thoughts you allow yourself to believe. Believe that you’re beautiful, healthy, smart, thoughtful, caring, and positive. Even if you don’t currently embody these qualities, you will begin to cultivate them. Every action starts first with your thoughts. So simply believing in yourself will attract those who see your beauty as well.

Final thoughts on attracting positive people into your life

Everything in the universe is energy, and it’s responding to the frequency you give off. People often think life just happens to them, instead of doing what they can to shift their vibration, so more positive people and events come into their reality.

Attracting more positive people into your life begins with visualizing yourself meeting people who you want to become friends with. Then, you will want to work on changing your thoughts and examining current friendships. Sometimes we outgrow people, and that’s perfectly okay. People change, and you can’t take everyone with you if you want a fresh start.

Promote positivity in your life by giving people what you want to receive as well. What goes around comes around, so giving love and good vibes will attract more of that into your reality. Finally, limit your exposure to negative media and music, as these will lower your frequency and contribute to depression. Love yourself as you would others. Then, watch your reality change as more positive people come into your life.

Doctors Explain The Symptoms and Causes of Syncope (Fainting)

March 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Have you ever stood up too fast and felt so lightheaded you thought you might pass out? That is what a syncope (pronounced ‘sin-ko-pea’) episode feels like at its onset. Syncope is a more technical way of referring to the act of fainting. But it is much more complicated than you might think.

These fainting spells can happen for many different reasons. At the core of it is the fact that there is a sudden decrease in blood flow going into your brain. When this happens, you lose consciousness, and down you go to the floor.

Emergency room staff see syncope episodes every once in a while. It is estimated that about 3-5% of emergency room visits in the United States every year involve someone fainting. What’s more, about 42% of the population will experience a syncope episode at some point during their life.

So, why does this happen? Why is it happening to you? Is it something you should be concerned about? Let’s explore those questions as we take a further look into what causes fainting spells and what their symptoms can mean.

How Blood Flow Works

First and foremost, you need to understand how blood flow works throughout your body. Your brain and spinal cord both rely on two sources for blood: your vertebral arteries and internal carotid arteries, which branch off to form the middle and anterior cerebral arteries. This blood flow can change when you experience sudden bradycardia (when your heart beats at less than 60 beats per minute), a drop in blood pressure, or changes in blood flow to other parts of your body (like your legs).

Read the fifteen symptoms of anemia to never ignore (including fainting).

Blood Flow and the Autonomic Nervous System

Syncope is a result of the interaction between the circulatory system and your body’s autonomic nervous system (ANS for short). Your ANS is responsible for maintaining your internal homeostasis. That’s just a fancy way of saying that it helps to regulate your blood pressure, body temperature, heart rate, fluids, and electrolytes. When these things are all in balance, you will likely feel alright and not have any fainting episodes.

If your ANS is unable to regulate your body’s systems, you’re going to have some problems. When you go to stand up, gravity will pool about 500 to 800 mL of blood in the distensible veins located below the heart. This pooling causes plasma volume to decrease by about 15% within 20 minutes of standing up. When your blood does not flow appropriately as a response, it pools in the veins. This situation triggers a reduction in your heart’s ability to pump blood, which then alerts your body’s compensatory mechanisms to act.

Those mechanisms include:

the central autonomic network (CAN) mediating the sympathetic outflow upregulation
skeletal muscles pumped in the legs
the cerebral autoregulatory mechanism
the renin-angiotensin-aldosterone system (RAAS)

The CAN, which is located in the brain stem, helps to coordinate the autonomic supply to your body’s cardiovascular system. There are pressure receptors that send impulses to the CAN when they detect a problem. That, in turn, triggers a flow of norepinephrine, which prompts your body to act. Your body thus experiences vasoconstriction, venoconstriction, and an increased heart rate. Constriction of veins will result in a correction of your orthostasis.

All it takes is 6 to 8 seconds of a stop in blood flow to the brain for someone to lose consciousness. That is how quickly your entire system responds to something as simple as a change in posture (e.g., going from sitting to standing).

Types of Syncope

There are several different types of syncope (and presyncope, which does not involve entirely passing out but does involve some loss of consciousness) that you should know about. Let’s take a look at each type individually and explain their different symptoms.

Woman suffering from headache at home

Reflex syncope

This type is the most common cause of fainting. As described above, your body’s reflexes stop working as they are supposed to. Your heart rate drops, as does your blood pressure. Hence, the blood flow to your brain ceases. In a matter of seconds, you pass out.

There are three sub-types here. These are:

Vasovagal (This happens when your body overreacts to a stimulus, such as standing for too long or intense pain; this accounts for about 50% of reflex fainting cases.)
Situational (This can happen when you do something like sneeze, cough, or laugh.)
Carotid sinus (This can occur as a result of too much pressure placed on the carotid artery in the neck. Even things like wearing a choker necklace or moving your neck too quickly can cause this to happen.)

Symptoms most frequently associated with reflex fainting include:

nausea
feeling too warm
tunnel vision
feeling lightheaded
visually blacking out

Cardiac fainting

This type of fainting is directly related to a problem with your heart. If you have structural issues like cardiomyopathy or a heart valve disorder, you could experience fainting. Electrical problems with the heart (such as arrhythmia) can also contribute, as can various other conditions, including a pulmonary embolism.

You are at risk for cardiac fainting if you are over 60 years of age, are male, have some form of heart disease, or have a known family history of cardiac conditions (especially if those family members have experienced fainting).

The most common symptoms of cardiac fainting are:

passing out while you are lying down
fainting or almost fainting while you are exercising your body
feel heart palpitations or chest pain before passing out

Know the warning signs of poor heart health.

Orthostatic fainting

As mentioned above, orthostasis involves how gravity impacts your blood flow when you change positions. Orthostatic fainting happens when you experience a blood pressure drop as you stand up. Your brain will try to stabilize this, but that doesn’t happen when you have orthostatic issues.

Causes for this condition can include:

being dehydrated
alcohol use
recent blood loss
taking certain medications (such as blood pressure or diabetes meds)
having underlying health conditions (including multiple sclerosis and Parkinson’s)

Chiari malformation is another condition that involves fainting. Chiari is a type of structural defect of the skull that causes the cerebellum to compress on the brain stem, causing herniation. The condition Chiari involves intense cervical spinal pain. Since the CAN is located in this impacted area, ANS functions can become dysfunctional. Chiari patients present with a loss of balance and dysautonomia. Decompression surgery can help alleviate these symptoms.

With orthostatic fainting, you might notice warning signs that you are about to drop. Your vision might begin to tunnel or fade to black. However, this type of fainting can happen without any warning.

Cerebrovascular fainting

This type of fainting happens as a result of the blood vessels near and within the brain, not getting enough blood as that they can properly function.

Causes for cerebrovascular fainting can include:

a cerebrovascular disease (such as an aneurysm or stroke) causing damage to the blood vessels
Steal syndrome (which reverses the flow of blood to your arms from the subclavian arteries)
basilar artery disease (a reduction of blood flow in the brain’s basilar arteries)

Those at risk for developing this condition are the elderly, those with cardiovascular disease, and those with cerebrovascular disease.

Symptoms of cerebrovascular fainting include:

experiencing a headache
feeling lightheaded or nauseous
difficulty hearing
confusion
uncoordinated movements

Coping with Fainting

The best thing you can do if you feel faint is to lie down. Elevate your legs and keep your head low (in other words, avoid using a pillow for your neck and keep your entire spine as straight as possible). If you are not able to lay down on a firm surface, sit down. Putting your head between your knees can increase the blood flow to your brain. Stay in this position until your symptoms have passed and slowly get up. Do not rush it.

Afterward, you might feel just fine and not need any immediate medical attention. However, some folks will need to seek emergency medical help. Those people include the elderly, pregnant women, those with heart disease or diabetes, those who were injured in their fall, those who lost consciousness for more than a couple of minutes, those who lost control of bladder or bowel functions during their fainting episode, and those who have had these episodes happen on a somewhat frequent basis.

Final Thoughts: Getting Diagnosed with Syncope or Fainting Spells

It is crucial to speak with your doctor about the diagnosis. Doctors can diagnose your condition with tests like an electrocardiogram (ECG), a tilt-table test, a stress test, an echocardiogram, a CT scan, or an MRI. If you put off getting treated, your condition could worsen.

Do your best to avoid fainting spells. Stay hydrated, sit or lie down as needed, and don’t skip any meals. Pay attention to your triggers and seek medical attention if your situation becomes dire.

13 Quotes from Rumi That Can Transform Your Life

March 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Rumi was a scholar and poet that lived in 13th-century Persia (now modern-day Iran.) Like all extraordinary gifted, and profound teachers, Rumi’s words have transcended time and place.

An Islamic scholar and Sufi mystic, Rumi wrote much of his thoughts down in the form of poems. As you read through these 13 quotes from the great sage, we invite you to reflect on the words. Allow them to enter your heart and see if they don’t stir up something inside.

Without further ado, here are 13 quotes from Rumi that can transform your life, along with some commentary on each.

13 Rumi Quotes to Remember Always

1 – “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

These words of Rumi were perhaps an expression of lament brought on by the remnants of the Mongol Empire’s conquest of his homeland. The Mongols were a brutal regime, often slaughtering opponents of their expansion – including many Muslims during the time of Rumi.

Moreover, it’s well-known that Rumi was a mystic devoted to contemplation and self-surrender. Like many mystics, he probably realized that the external problems of the world couldn’t be solved without first doing the necessary internal work.

It’s safe to say that Rumi probably wouldn’t think highly of the empty rhetoric and broken promises so prevalent in today’s society.

It’s wonderful that we want to change the world, but we must first change ourselves.

As a Sufi, Rumi certainly practiced Murqabah, an Arabic word that translates to observation in English. Murqabah is a form of Sufi meditation that aims to “watch over” their spiritual heart and gain insight into the Ultimate truth.

Nearly every form of meditation, across religious and spiritual traditions, emphasizes quietude of mind. Individuals who are adept meditators are well-aware that mental silence can lead to profound insight, a phenomenon that Rumi was almost assuredly referring to in this quote.

Please quiet your mind from time to time!

3 – “The art of knowing is knowing what to ignore … Ignore those that make you fearful and sad, that degrade you back towards disease and death.”

This quote from Rumi is among his most insightful. Demanding particular attention is the mystic’s noting of the relationship between mental well-being and “disease and death.”

Taking on too many things is perhaps the main reason why people nowadays are so stressed. Here, Rumi advises that true wisdom is differentiating between the important and unimportant.

Whether intended or not, Rumi’s quote is also scientific. Relatively recently, scientists have discovered an inextricable link between one’s susceptibility to stress and the development of illness, which, of course, can lead to premature death.

Please pay attention to those things that lift you up. Ignore those that bring you down.

4 – “It’s your road, and yours alone, others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.”

Ultimately, we are individuals who are responsible for our own lives. This is the point that Rumi was making in this quote.

That’s not to say that there won’t be interested parties – loved ones, dear friends, and others – who will stand by us on our path. However, like all gifted contemplatives, Rumi assuredly realized that one’s ultimate destiny, if determinable, is influenced by that person – and them alone.

Walk your path, friend.

5 – “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

Back in September of 2012, a young man was rushed to the hospital. Eventually, he passed out and woke up with a surgeon telling me he would operate. After the ordeal, he remembered giving a “thumbs up” before drifting back into oblivion.

Fast-forward a couple of days, , when he woke up hearing instructions not to panic while the docs extracted a breathing tube from his lungs. This began the long recovery from a brain abscess, a bacterial infection nearly killing him.

During this time, there was an unmistakable feeling that he could only call Presence. The Presence of something. And it wasn’t just him. Everyone around this former brain surgery survivor felt it too.

This Presence can only be described as “Light.” Pure, loving, protecting light.

Rumi was probably referring to his experience of this Light when he jotted down this beautiful passage.

6 – “Inside you, there’s an artist you don’t know about.”

More beautiful words!

Here’s the thing: we were all well aware of those inner artists as children. But then we were told we had to “grow up” and live in “the real world.” (How’s that treating us, by the way?)

Creative power, which is probably what Rumi was referring to here, is accessed by quieting our minds and hearts. It doesn’t come through arduous effort or diligent striving. We too often forget this fact, creating the stressed-out, always-striving attitude that we carry into our personal and professional lives.

Relax and let your artist out, friend!

7 – “As you start to walk on the way, the way appears.”

Lao Tzu, the founder of Taoism, said something similar: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

In all likelihood, Rumi meant something quite similar.

It matters not whether Rumi was referring to the Ultimate “Way” (as Lao Tzu was) or simply to an everyday decision. The “path” could be about career, spirituality, or even the next important task. The advice is the same: start walking and allow the path to reveal itself.

Whatever endeavor you’re considering, start by taking the first step!

8 – “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”

Here’s another powerful quote that can apply to just about anything. Apply it to career choice, for instance. Why?

The simple reason is this: our jobs are killing us.

One’s job is the leading cause of stress in life, and it’s really not even close. Job stress contributes to everything from burnout to mental exhaustion, heart disease development, and an increased risk of stroke.

Most of us have forgotten what it feels like to fall in love with our work. To work with meaning, passion, and joy. Instead, we’ve opted to “go where the money is.” Unfortunately, as opposed to Rumi’s advice, this shortsighted approach often does lead us astray.

Find passion in what you do, whether it’s to earn a living or not!

9 – “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

This Rumi quote is a beautiful reminder to remove those inner obstructions blocking love. This applies to both the love of others and self-love.

Notice that Rumi uses the words “Seek and find” to make his point. The things that obstruct our acceptance of love aren’t always apparent. We’re often required to look inside of ourselves to deconstruct the (often subtle) mental and emotional tangles that block it.

10 – “The garden of the world has no limits, except in your mind.”

Here, Rumi states that if there’s no limit to the mind, there’s no limit to what the mind can experience.

This isn’t just some feel-good platitude, either.

Take, for instance, the practice of Jhna or absorption meditation. In advanced stages of Jhna, meditators often report experiencing a disconnect from all sense perceptions, with many reporting a connection to the Absolute, or “Source.”

Individuals who master the Jhnas can remain in this state up until to a predetermined time – to the exact hour, minute, and second.

In short, our mind is much more powerful than we think.

11 – “Wear gratitude like a cloak, and it will feed every corner of your life.”

When we wear something, we cover ourselves with it. In this saying, Rumi is telling us to cover our heart with feelings of gratitude. Doing so will infuse our life with wellbeing, says the great mystic.

Here’s another quote with scientific backing. Per a whitepaper [PDF] produced by the University of California at Berkeley, gratitude is linked to “many benefits…including better physical and psychological health, increased happiness and life satisfaction, decreased materialism, and more.”

12 – “You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?”

It is in the human DNA to explore and discover to maximize our experiences. The society that’s been constructed for us encourages none of these things. We’re told that going to college, getting a good job, and retiring is the only way.

So why is it that most people are unhappy?

Do what brings you joy. Don’t let fear get in the way, either.

13 – “When you let go of who you are, you become who you might be.”

This one’s powerful – and accurate.

If you ask someone who they are, they’ll probably give you their name, what they do for a living, their hobbies, and maybe something else.

But is that who they are? A name, a job? Is that who you are?

The people who have delved the depths of their consciousness say that we are one of these things. We’re most certainly not some evolutionary accident, either.

No. According to the great sages and seers, including Rumi, we are much more. What is that exactly? It’s something we need to find out for ourselves. We can start by letting go.

5 Habits of People With High Self-Awareness

March 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Self-awareness is, as the name implies, the ability to look at oneself.

What is one looking at? Usually, emotional and thought processes, including beliefs, motivation, strengths, and weaknesses. Self-awareness also permits one to look at how others perceive them.

The ability to monitor ourselves from moment to moment is the key to understanding who we are and our relative place in the world. Moreover, self-awareness is an essential component of happiness and wellbeing.

Daniel Goleman associates self-awareness as a cornerstone of emotional intelligence. Goleman’s research and theories on the critical nature of self-awareness are widely accepted as a means of improving one’s awareness of self.

In this article, we are going to examine self-awareness form a standpoint of naivete. As such, we will discuss further the notion and theories of self-awareness, how to measure one’s aptitude in this vital life area, and the five things habits of individuals with high self-awareness.

Here’s a list of 21 habits that equal self-sabatoge (and you might not be aware of them!)

Exploring self-awareness

“Research suggests that when we see ourselves clearly, we are more confident and more creative. We make sounder decisions, build strong relationships, and communicate more effectively.” ~ Harvard Business Review (Source)

Again, self-awareness is the capacity to become one’s object of attention. When we’re attentive to ourselves and how we operate in the world, we’re better able to identify, process, and store information about ourselves. With this knowledge, we can then improve on these things.

Two Types of Self-Awareness

It’s important to know that there are two types of self-awareness – internal and external.

Internal self-awareness involves precisely observing our behaviors, thoughts, feelings, strengths, and weaknesses. Internal self-awareness also includes our aspirations, passions, values, and environmental fit. High levels 0f internal self-awareness is linked to higher relationship and job satisfaction, an enhanced sense of self-control, and feelings of happiness. It is inversely related to emotional and psychological distress.

External self-awareness involves seeing how others see us. This skill consists of the ability to step outside of one’s shoes and look at ourselves from a third-person perspective. On an interpersonal level, individuals with high external self-awareness may be more empathetic, polite, and harmonious. Research demonstrates a direct correlation between self-awareness and relationship satisfaction.

Per Harvard Business Review, self-awareness is linked to multiple personality characteristics and aptitudes, including creativity, confidence, communication ability, personal efficiency, leadership ability, and even career progression.

5 Habits of People With High Self-Awareness

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” ~ Stephen Covey

They practice active listening

The reality is that when most of us listen to someone, we’re thinking about our reply before the individual finishes. Or, worse, there’s something that we’re just so itching to say that we completely interrupt the person.

We’ve all done it. It’s become a habit for most of us. According to Edgar Dale, author of Cone of Experience, we forget 50 to 75 percent of what we hear. In other words, when we discuss something with our customers, boss, children, or spouse for 10 minutes, we’ve only listened to about 2.5 to 5 of those minutes.

Here’s another thing: we can’t possibly build self-awareness if we don’t take an interest in what others have to say. We can’t build self-awareness if we don’t practice active listening. It’s an essential skill to cultivate for this and many other reasons.

We should want to cultivate active listening. Why? Because it helps us to empathize, understand, obtain information, learn, and even to enjoy ourselves.

Active listening means this: concentrating, understanding, responding, and in turn remembering what someone says. Let’s look at each one of these.

Concentrate: You must direct and hold your attention to what’s being said.

Understand: If you concentrated well through the conversation, you should understand it well. However, you may still have questions. If so, ask them.

Respond: If you followed the ‘concentrate’ and ‘understand’ elements, you are well-equipped to respond.

Remember: If you’ve engaged wholly in active listening throughout the conversation, recall shouldn’t be too much trouble.

They get curious about how their minds work

Self-awareness requires paying attention to what’s going on between our ears. We must understand how our brains work before any type of tinkering to awareness can happen.

As such, a highly self-aware person knows the inner-workings of their minds. They know how it acts and reacts, as well as its strengths and weaknesses. Indeed, this is the quintessential function of self-awareness.

How to do this?

First, you must be completely honest with yourself. Our ego has entrenched and often subtle defense mechanisms that require bypassing. We accomplish this by objectively observing ourselves.

Here’s a basic framework for mind investigation:

– What are my predominant mental and emotional states? Which ones are positive? Negative?

– How do I feel when accomplishing something? How can I get into that state of mind?

– What things do I do that make me feel better? Worse? How can I get into those states where I feel better?

Learn the seven signs that your soul is asking for a change in your life.

They solicit feedback – and welcome it all

One sign of outstanding self-awareness is seeking feedback. The problem: so many of us are far too sensitive, proud, or fearful, to willingly ask someone for their honest assessment. We’re scared of what they might say.

The thing is that feedback is critical in any endeavor, including the betterment of our self-awareness

Do you remember that jittery feeling in school before getting back the examination results? How about right before a job evaluation? Of course, you do! That’s fearfulness (some call it anxiety, but that’s another word for fear.)

It may be comforting to know that we all – to a greater or lesser degree – fear the feedback of others. But that doesn’t stop the self-aware from seeking it out.

There’s also the fact that the person you’re seeking feedback from will admire your courage and willingness to improve. Imagine what that shift in perspective can do for you, both personally and professionally!

They’re reflective and thoughtful towards themselves and others

You can’t be self-aware if you’re not attentive. The ability to look at yourself – your feelings and behaviors– is essential to self-awareness.

It’s not only about being reflective and thoughtful towards yourself. It’s also about extending these qualities to others. You do this mostly through communicating, interacting with, and responding to people.

Here’s an example. You receive a harshly-worded, borderline-inappropriate email from a client about your job performance. You can feel yourself become angry, and your thinking clouded. At the moment, there’s nothing you want to do more than giving a piece of your mind to the ungrateful urchin that is your customer. Do you follow through?

Notice that, with a couple of tweaks, the above scenario applies to pretty much any situation, anywhere. Maybe it’s your kids, your spouse, your co-workers. Perhaps it’s not an email, but a text message, a passing conversation, or a slight remark. Instead of critiquing professional understanding, it’s the scrutinization of your social etiquette.

Regardless of the context, the premise is the same: you’re being told something that you don’t want to hear. Now, instead of blowing a fuse, do the hard thing and reflect on the situation.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

Is the underlying message (minus the perceived aggression, vitriol, etcetera) in any way justifiable?
Is this how the person feels about me?
Have I done anything – intentional or unintentional – that may have led, or even contributed, to this encounter?

While this is a hard thing to do, asking yourself these questions – and taking the appropriate actions – will contribute to your personal development in ways unimaginable.

They don’t “do” self-awareness, they are self-aware

This last point is critical if a bit subtle.

In the beginning phases of any endeavor, there’s some effort involved. This includes the practice of self-awareness. There’s a specific “doing” of self-awareness that happens as one acclimates to “being” self-aware.

It’s important to know that, after a certain point, there’s no conscious “doing” of self-awareness. As long as there’s continuous exertion, the skill of self-awareness continues to develop. More importantly, it demonstrates that there’s critical work still to be done.

Self-aware people are often, ironically, less aware of their innate awareness. (Hahaha!)

Joking aside, don’t settle for being a student of self-awareness. Graduate and enter the full-time occupation of it. Embody self-awareness – and transform how you both see yourself and how others see you.

Final Thoughts: Don’t look at the active doing of self-awareness as a shortcoming.

Just as some people are naturally better at any skill, some people are more adept at being self-aware.

The fact that you’re actively engaging in self-awareness practice already says a ton about your character and drive for self-improvement!

Child Psychologists Explain 11 Ways To Earn Your Child’s Friendship

March 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

Does your child sometimes feel distant from you? Maybe it’s the generational gap, or maybe your child is at a certain life stage that makes them less interested in getting along with you. Either way, you may be wondering how you can return to being a best friend to your child. A child’s friendship isn’t that much different from an adult’s friendship.

However, it is more innocent and, often, more fickle than what you’d expect from a grown-up. Still, there are science-backed ways to strengthen those bonds and encourage your child to be a close pal to you. Here’s how child psychologists explain 11 ways to earn your child’s friendship.

Here’s How to Earn Your Child’s Friendship

1 – Start With Commitment

Every parent should be committed to their child; that’s just a given. But not every parent actively puts that into practice or keeps it in mind to the point that they don’t forget it.

And yet, an unconditional form of commitment to a child is extremely central to making sure you and your child are friends, says Marriage and Family Formation Vice President, author, and family counselor Dr. Greg Smalley. So get your commitment right! Say to your child:

“I will always love you no matter what.”
“No matter what happens, I will support you.”
“Even when I’m angry at you, I will always love you.”

2 – Allow Them To Make Decisions

Yes, we know kids aren’t fully rational and don’t have all the necessary decision-making faculties in place. But there’s no better time to teach the concept of making choices and facing their results than now!

You shouldn’t let kids make huge decisions all on their own, but you can involve them in those big choices. For things that are minor and won’t severely affect anyone, you can ask them to make their own decision. For example, you can:

Ask them what they would like for breakfast
Let them choose between extracurricular activities
Ask for their opinion on two different holiday options

3 – Add Them To Your Schedule

In our busy everyday lives, it can be tough to make sure that you have a good work-life balance. A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family called “Time With Children, Children’s Well?Being, and Work?Family Balance Among Employed Parents” has found that children are actually a very good indication of whether you’re managing that balance in a positive way or not.

To build a meaningful friendship with someone, you need to have a good amount of time spent with them. The same goes for your children. You don’t need to bend your back or jeopardize your work to do well by your children. You can:

Set aside an hour every day to spend with them, doing anything fun
Make it a point to eat at least one meal a day with them
Watch the movies or TV shows they love with them
Make time to play with them
Bring them to places that they love or enjoy
Be available for them to talk to; make a show of putting aside your work when they have something they want to talk to you about

You should also try to involve your kids in your daily life as much as you can. For example:

Let them help with chores, cooking, and simple tasks
Bring them along with you when you run errands
Give them a toy or miniature versions of the things you use every day; even paper cut-outs can do the trick!

4 – Listen To Understand

Friendship is a two-way street. You want your child to listen to you, and they want to be listened to as well. Another concept Dr. Greg Smalley stands by is listening to your child if you want them to be friends with you.

More specifically, you need to practice active listening. Make eye contact with your child – unless they have a disorder that makes that uncomfortable! – and listen carefully. Think about your goal, which is to understand your child’s point of view, even if that point of view is “childish” or silly!

You should also ask them questions to clarify what they mean, and repeat what they say in your own words to show your understanding.

5 – Lead By Example

Kids may need some time to master their intelligence, but they can still tell when you don’t practice what you preach. Most children learn through observation, so you can earn their friendship by doing the same things you expect of them.

This is such a natural instinct for children that a study called “Toddlers’ imitative learning in interactive and observational contexts: the role of age and familiarity of the model” found that children easily learn by example from everyone, not just close family! So lead by example, and your kids will enjoy picking up on your actions – just make sure they’re positive examples!

6 – Have Some Respect For Their Choices

It’s easy to want to be a little controlling of your child’s decisions. After all, you have so many more years of experience. Your child’s dream job might sound impractical. Their relationship may not look like it’ll last. Their chosen degree might not be the best for them, but a child will appreciate it if you respect their decisions.

We’re not saying that you should never step in when your child is going to do something bad for them. But there are some things you don’t need to try and control so much! You can advise them and tell them what you think and how strongly you feel about their choices, but you want them to know that when the decisions affect them and not you, you will support them even if you disagree.

7 – Let Touch Do The Talking

Physical touch can have quite a significant effect on a child. In fact, hugs release the hormone oxytocin, which promotes positive thinking and bonding. Here are all the ways hugs can benefit a child:

Growth

Did you know that there is a growth deficiency called “failure-to-thrive”? What it does is cause children to be unable to grow normally, and it happens when children do not receive sufficient physical touch or affection.

Health and Recovery

Oxytocin has been proven to help with wound recovery and immune system strength. A study published in Germany entitled “Oxytocin, a mediator of anti-stress, well-being, social interaction, growth and healing” showed that oxytocin reduces thyroid hormone plasma levels, stress, and other negative issues!

Intelligence

Yes, hugging can make a child smarter! Physical touch stimulates the brain, and hugging is the right kind of gentle physical affection to help a child’s brain grow nice and strong.

Bonding

When you hug a child, you are feeding into positive attachment bonding mechanisms. Multiple studies have linked oxytocin production and attachment bonding, including “Oxytocin enhances the experience of attachment security”, which was published in the journal Psychoneuroendocrinology in 2009.

Tantrums

Some parents believe that they should not hug their child when they are throwing a tantrum as it “rewards” the child. But the fact is that tantrums are an inability to perform emotional processing. Your child needs aid in calming down, and a hug can provide that aid.

8 – Offer Encouragement

A little encouragement goes a long way. When you teach, correct, and even scold your child, it’s a good idea to fall back onto some positive points instead of focusing only on the negative. Constant negativity can make your child fall into bad patterns of negative self-esteem.

So, the next time you’re seriously speaking to or correcting your child, don’t forget to encourage them. Examples of encouragement include:

Acknowledging their efforts to improve
Expressing pride in their efforts to improve
Reminding them that there are other things they are talented in
Inspiring them with stories of hard work and improvement
Telling them some of your own struggles with self-improvement
Giving them ideas for goals to keep in mind

Learn how to shape child behavior with kindness using positive reinforcement.

9 – Learn About Them

Many parents fall into the trap of labeling their children. This action can have multiple adverse effects, including:

Becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy
Putting undue pressure on children with positive labels
Causing self-esteem issues in children with negative labels
One-track thinking and self-limiting

When you pigeon-hole your children this way, you’re not doing them or yourself any favors. Take the time to really get to know your kids. You might think you know them better than they know themselves, but they’re still human beings and will grow and change over time. Learn:

Their likes and dislikes
Their natural temperament and personality
Their friends
Their dreams
Their life goals
What motivates them best

10 – Don’t Overdo Protectiveness

All parents can be quite protective of their little ones and with good reason. But there’s a big difference between protection and control. Controlling every single move your child makes will only cause them to feel uncomfortable sharing things with you, leading to lies, deception, and the act of hiding things from you.

Keep your child safe, but don’t control their every move. Learn to find a balance between overbearing protection and letting your child learn from mistakes and have their own privacy in certain areas. Trust us, it will make your friendship with them that much stronger!

11 – Don’t Ask, Share

Many parents complain that they ask their child all sorts of questions but don’t get concrete answers. There’s actually a reason for this. Bombarding a child with constant questions will only make them tired of being interrogated. It’s even worse when you don’t answer their questions!

So, instead of peppering them with inquiries, share something from yourself. Talk about your own day, your own friends, or even just random thoughts. This will encourage them to join in with the sharing and contribute, too!

Science proves a connection between lax parenting and emotional disorders in your children.

Final Thoughts On Some Ways To Earn Your Child’s Friendship

Not every parent wants to be friends with their child. Depending on your views and opinions on parenting, you may not feel like you need to be friends with your kids until they’re much older. But if you do want to earn their friendship, the methods are easier than you may expect!

Just treating your child as you would a friend can already make them feel more comfortable around you, increasing your bonds, their positive thinking, and their willingness to share things with you. If you are to be your child’s friend, it’s a friendship that they will value for a lifetime.

15 Ways To Confess Your Love To Your Partner

March 22, 2020 by Power of Positivity

The first time you confess your love to someone is very nerve-wracking! But sometimes, continuing to confess that love every single day to a partner can be just as anxiety-inducing if you fear that you’ve run out of ways to say it.

But love doesn’t have to be complicated! Simple gestures and little things can matter most in long-term relationships.

Here are 15 ways to confess your love to your partner.

Meet a couple who met during adversity and wrote their own love story.

1 – Show Interest In Their Interests

This point might not seem like the ultimate show of love, but it can mean a lot to your partner. Who knows – their hobbies might turn out to be something you like too.

It’s not that hard to show some interest – here are some tips!

Play their favorite music or bands in the car.
Watch their favorite shows with them.
Discuss with them about their interests. (Or let them rant on about it.)
Check out those interests yourself, in your own spare time!

2 – Write Love Letters

Go old-school romantic. Break out your fountain pen, brush up your penmanship, and write them a physical letter! Want to take it to the next level? Consider these extra bonuses.

Fill the envelope with something they like – for example, stickers.
Spritz a scent on it. Either something they like or something that’ll remind them of you.
Seal the envelope with wax for bonus points.
Write positive things you love about them!

3 – Ask Them Questions, Then Listen and Remember

What’s the best way for someone to feel like they’re being heard and loved? Simple – showing interest in them as a person. It’s not very often we get to be the target of someone’s full attention, and it makes us feel important and loved. But just how do you show you’re listening?

Notice where they’re passionate, then ask them to elaborate on the subject.
Take some interest in their life – where have they gone, what have they done?
Remember what’s important to them – if they mention not liking tomatoes, make sure to avoid tomatoes when choosing meals for them.

4 – Cook For Them

These days, it’s hard to find time and energy to cook ourselves a proper meal. To prepare dinner of some kind for a loved one, therefore, is an act of love – whether it is acknowledged as one or not. So if you’re trying to woo someone, why not consider making them a romantic meal? But how do you even get started?

Figure out what your partner’s favorite meal is in advance. If not, go for something simple but delicious.
Enlist the help of a friend. It helps halve prepping and cooking time, and if you’re not good at cooking, it’s good to have support!
If you have the skill for it, get them a fortune cookie that says ‘I love you’ on the paper.

5 – Help Complete Their To-Do List

Trying to get everything done on time is always a stressful thing. It can have a tangible effect on your relationship – it’s hard to maintain positive thinking when there’s just so much left to be done, let alone be romantic with you. So what better way than to show your love by helping them out with said list?

Get an app that shares to-do lists. This way, you can be kept abreast of what your partner needs to be done, and get it sorted for them in advance.
Help remind them of things they need to do. Just add their events to your calendar, and remind them of any approaching deadlines now and then.
Take the initiative – if you see things around the house that needs doing, deal with it first, so they don’t have to.

6 – Give Them A Handmade Gift

Saying ‘I love you’ is a beautiful thing, but not everyone’s love language is based on words. For those of you whose partners prefer gifts, why not try making something of your own for them to remember by? Everyone remembers and loves the handmade gifts the best, even if the crafter isn’t too great at handicrafts. It’s the thought that counts, after all.

Here are some ideas to get you to confess your love!

Make a little box full of memories. Movie ticket stubs, polaroid pictures, keepsakes from specific trips – the possibilities are endless!
Pick up a crafting skill and make them something! It can be anything – pottery, crocheting, or origami, so long as you can make them something personalized.
Search up online for more romantic DIY gift ideas. Check out Pinterest to start with!

7 – Get Small, Thoughtful Gifts to Confess Your Love

With just how life tends to rush us through every day, it can be hard to show our loved one’s care and affection. And you may likely think you need to put on some grand show when you do – something that takes much more time and energy than we often have to spare.

But unless that is precisely what your partner wants (and they’re okay with long, empty stretches in between to compensate), you can just give them simple gifts throughout the day! Here are some examples:

Hide written notes everywhere. It’s hard to stay positive these days, so a little pick-me-up is sure to make them smile!
Sneak their favorite snack into their packed meals.
Bring them a delicious drink while they’re working.

8 – Make A Treasure Hunt

When was the last time you and your partner had the kind of fun that makes the both of you giddy and giggly? It’s time for you guys to have a little playtime – literally!

Buy your partner’s favorite snack, and hide them around the house with clues leading them to the final stash.
Alternatively, do that, but instead leave no clues – tease them with the knowledge that their snack is hidden somewhere, and watch them tear the house apart in the hunt!
Make a map to some hidden treasure in the house, and fill the house with clues. At the end of it all, hide a gift of some kind. Perhaps a time capsule, full of memories you’ve collected!

9 – Tell Them When Things Remind You Of Them

Realistically speaking, our partners can’t be on our minds 24/7. After all, other things need to be done – and you can trust them to love you no matter what.

That said, it’s always lovely to be reminded that you’re in someone’s thoughts – so why not do that for your partner? Send them memes, photos, overheard snippets of conversation, things that encourage positive thinking – the possibilities are endless!

10 – Use Music to Confess Your Love

Even if your partner doesn’t have any favorite bands or genres, they can certainly appreciate a good song. Why not take advantage of that universal fact?

- Make a playlist of song that reminds you of them, and then send it to them to enjoy!
- Pick their favorite song, and then rewrite the lyrics to match the love story you’re trying to tell. If you can’t sing well, get a friend to do it for you! (Or try anyway. It’s the thought that counts.)
- This one’s for the musicians – write a whole song dedicated to them!

11 – Dance With Them

Have you seen just how much tension and chemistry there is onstage among dancers? Why not take advantage of that and spark some chemistry yourself. Organize a fun little dance party for the two of you, and dance the night away! Don’t worry if neither can dance – it’s all about making memories.

Alternatively, you can go a step further – maybe your partner will be interested in learning how to dance, and you can both sign up for lessons!

12 – Touch Them

Some people have the feeling of touch as their love language – and it doesn’t always have to be some grand affair. Physical contact promotes the production of positive bonding hormone oxytocin, too. Here are a few other ways to show them your love over the course of the day – aside from the evident hand-holding, kissing, and hugging:

Place your hand on their arm or knee. It doesn’t have to be possessive – it can just be a physical reminder that you’re there.
Let your touch linger along their bare skin – don’t be shy, have fun being a tease!
Learn how to give your partner massages. A shoulder massage can be just what they need after a long day.

13 – Surprise Them Publicly to Confess Your Love

When was the last time you’ve reminded the world that this fantastic person is yours? This can get pretty cute, especially if you’re a known, established couple. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Get the barista to add a secret message to your partner’s drink.
Request the band to play your partner’s favorite song at the pub.
Have someone set up a sign in the middle of a path you’ll both be taking.

14 – Show Your Excitement At Seeing Them

The internet has made the world so much smaller – no longer do you have to wait weeks or months to see your beloved. All you have to do is tune in to their Instagram feed, or just ask them to send you a selfie. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t stop being excited to see them once more!

Jump for joy when you get to meet up with them in person again.
Show genuine happiness whenever you see a photo of them. It’ll be sure to brighten their day!
Arrange another date at the end of the current one. You just can’t wait to see them again!

15 – Make An Effort To Get In Touch First

Don’t always wait for them to reach out to you – take the initiative. Text them first, or arrange to see them first. There’s nothing wrong with being busy, but it doesn’t hurt to check in on your partner on a regular basis. They’ll appreciate the effort and thoughtfulness!

Final Thoughts On Some Ways To Confess Your Love To Your Partner

If you know your partner well – and you should! – then you’ll know the kinds of things they like and what they respond best to. Still, don’t be afraid to try new gestures! You never know what your partner will love.

Ultimately, you love them, and they love you – so why shouldn’t you keep finding new ways to tell each other that? That will keep your romance beautifully alive and in bloom for years and years to come.

Visualize yourself meeting positive friends.

Work on changing your thoughts.

Examine your current friendships and relationships.

Give out what you want to receive.

Limit your exposure to negative news or media.

They practice active listening

They get curious about how their minds work

They solicit feedback – and welcome it all

They’re reflective and thoughtful towards themselves and others

They don’t “do” self-awareness, they are self-aware

Growth

Health and Recovery

Intelligence

Bonding

Tantrums

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