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12 Ways To Overcome Negative Thoughts (In 10 Minutes Or Less)

Negative thoughts can severely drain your energy, making you feel depressed, anxious, and stressed out. Even at its most harmless, they can take a toll on your self-esteem and lead to self-sabotaging behavior.

As with all bad habits, you can break a pattern of repeated negative thinking – and you’re capable of that with just a little work. There are plenty of tried and true methods that can promote positivity and discourage periods of self-pity and sadness.

Here Are 12 Ways To Overcome Negative Thoughts

1.    Actively Look For The Good In Life

Seek out good things, and they will come to you. Sometimes, we’re so used to focusing on the negative that we don’t try to find the obvious positive things around us. As such, it’s a good idea to build a good habit of looking for good things. You can do this by:

  • Appreciating the excellent taste of food or drinks you love
  • Taking note of subtle things you like in textures, surfaces, and more
  • Appreciating opportunities to learn, grow, or improve yourself
  • Actively going out and looking for things you enjoy

2.    Have Dedicated Time For Negativity

When you’re first starting to fight negative thoughts, you might find that you struggle to contain them. Instead, you might shove them all to one corner of your brain, where they will eventually overflow and cause problems for you later.

Instead of letting this happen, what you can do is set aside some time for yourself to experience negative thoughts. This habit should be a daily practice and should take up no more or less than 10 minutes.

During this time, feel free to think of all the negative things you want. Outside of that time, when you discover a negative thought forming, push it aside, and wait for your next 10 minutes of negative thoughts to give it attention. This exercise will slowly but surely teach you to manage and, eventually, phase out negative thinking.

3.    Find New Habits and Skills

Sometimes, imagining the necessity of overcoming the negativity of thought can be intimidating. Instead of trying to eradicate them, try changing the way you think about it. You’re not getting rid of something – you’re forming new habits.

Experiment with new skills and hobbies until you find some that click for you. Aim to find things that make you feel good about yourself. You can:

  • Take a new class
  • Create a bucket list of things to try
  • Tag along with a friend to something they enjoy
  • Make new recipes or crafts

4.    Take Responsibility

It’s easy to point fingers or play the victim when life has you feeling down. You might say things like:

  • It wasn’t my fault
  • I had no way of knowing
  • I only did that because I was stressed out
  • There’s nothing I can do about this
  • I have no choice

Yes, some situations are outside of your control. But at the end of the day, it’s your life. You’re responsible for the decisions you make, you’re accountable for your actions and reactions, and it’s time to take control of that.

5.    Replace Negativity

Take your negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. It seems simple, but it can take some getting used to. There are a few steps you can take to catch negative thoughts and turn the tables on them.

  • Take note of when negative thought patterns begin to occur.
  • Decide that you dislike this pattern and want to change it.
  • Figure out how you want this thought pattern to change and what you wish was different about it.
  • Find an appropriate thought replacement that matches the goals you made in step 3.

Here’s an example of a situation and the steps taken to solve them:

  • I notice that I tend to call myself names like “dumb” or “incompetent” when I make mistakes.
  • I don’t like that I talk myself down this way, and it usually just makes me more upset.
  • Instead of name-calling, I would like to accept and process mistakes and move on from them without feeling terrible.
  • The next time I make a mistake, I will remind myself that even the greatest minds make mistakes, and then I will tell myself that mistakes mean I am learning.

6.    Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is a fantastic way to become more positive. It has numerous benefits for both mental and physical health, as well as relationships.

Start a gratitude journal where you record a minimum of 3 things that you’re feeling grateful for every day. They can be anything from small, seemingly insignificant things to huge events. Even on bad days, you can probably find things to be grateful for. This reflection can help put things into perspective and give you a chance to remember things you often take for granted.

Here are some ideas for things to be grateful for:

  • Your health
  • Access to clean food and water
  • Electricity, gas, water, and other utilities
  • A roof over your head
  • Your friends and family
  • Your pets
  • Classes you enjoy
  • Your favorite books, TV shows, movies, and music
  • Things that made you smile, even for a second
  • Job opportunities
  • Upcoming vacations or plans
  • New items you purchased

7.    Separate Yourself From Negative Factors

Often, we willingly surround ourselves with negativity without realizing it. Here are some things you may want to separate from yourself:

·         Social Media

Look at your feed on the social media platforms you frequent. Are there a lot of people complaining? Or are there lots of people you like to compare yourself to, usually ending with you feeling bad about yourself?

Unfollow “influencers” who make you feel bad about yourself. Remember, their lives aren’t like they portray, anyway. Mute friends or family who are too negative. Control what you see on social media, or don’t use it at all!

·         News

News programs, especially the morning news, can be real bummers – and it’s a terrible way to start the day. In fact, research indicates that consuming news of a harmful variety for just three minutes first thing in the morning can hugely impact positive thinking and productivity for the rest of the day.

Yes, keeping informed is essential. But if you really must read sad or bad news, do so later in the day, not in the morning with breakfast.

·         People

Surrounding yourself with negative people is guaranteed to bring you down. Cut those toxic people from your life and seek to find friends who are positive, supportive, and kind.

Of course, you can’t ignore negative things forever. But until you learn how to manage negative thoughts properly, steering clear of these factors can work for you.

8.    Find A Silver Lining

Every single dark cloud has a silver lining, though it can be hard to see them at first. The next time you find yourself in a bad situation, ask yourself questions to help you find that elusive silver lining. Your questions can include:

  • What can I do differently next time to prevent this?
  • How would I treat a friend in this situation?
  • What’s one positive side of this event, no matter how small?
  • What can I learn from this event?

9.    Do Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations can help you to overcome negative thoughts in a myriad of unwanted scenarios, and research indicates that even the worst situations can be made better for those who are used to performing these acts of positive thinking. Here are some examples of positive affirmations that you can try:

  • I am intelligent and capable
  • I am strong
  • Negative thoughts have no power over me
  • I think positively in all situations
  • I’ve got the strength to overcome adverse circumstances
  • I react well to mistakes
  • I expel negativity and welcome positivity

10. Express Yourself

Pent-up negativity can burst forth and overflow when you least want it to. That’s why expressing that negativity, especially if it’s very strong, can help you to overcome those thoughts and switch to positive thinking. Here are some ways that you can do this:

  • Talk to a friend, family member, loved one, mental health professional, or anyone else you feel you can trust
  • Use art as a form of expression; draw, write stories or poetry, make music, rant in a journal or personal video log, dance, sing, or make any art you like
  • Express yourself through physical activity; lift weights, jog or run, punch a punching bag, dance, cycle, or do any other kind of exercise
  • If all else fails, talk to yourself; rant out loud about your issues

stop negative thoughts

11. Be Kind To Others

Making others happy is a great way to make yourself happier. It allows you to shift the focus off from yourself and your negative thoughts, and the positivity that will spread from your compassion will be contagious (and it may even beget more kindness!). Here are some ideas of things you can do to be kind to others:

  • Smile at someone or say “good morning” to someone you pass
  • Hold open the door for someone or let them pass first when you’re driving
  • Give an honest and thoughtful compliment to someone
  • Be there for someone in need
  • Help someone out with a problem they’ve been having
  • Do a favor for someone
  • Buy someone a gift

12. Be Kind To Yourself

Humans tend to be harder on themselves than they are on everyone else. You might be less forgiving for your mistakes and say mean things to yourself. It’s crucial, therefore, to be your own best friend.

What does this mean? Well, if you wouldn’t say what you’re thinking of yourself to your best friend, then you’re unnecessarily cruel. Treat yourself like you would a dear friend, with all the patience and compassion that entails.

Remember, you’re human! You’re going to make mistakes. And, of course, you’re going to have bad days. You’re not going to be perfect, and that’s part of your beauty. Take it easy and be kind. You deserve to be treated with compassion, especially from yourself.

positive vibes outweigh negative thoughtsFinal Thoughts on Overcoming Negative Thoughts

No one wants to be negative all the time. By understanding the patterns behind bad thoughts and working to change them and replace them with better habits, you’ll be giving yourself a happier, healthier life and mind.

Google Reveals $2 Billion Plan for Renewable Energy

In September, Google announced that it would sign eighteen separate agreements as part of the largest clean energy deal in corporate history. This program would increase Google’s solar and wind investments by 40%, according to The Guardian.

In response to the climate change crisis, the CEO of Google feels that renewable energy is of paramount importance, especially for a company that requires so much energy.

The clean energy deal will give Google access to an extra 1.6 gigawatts of energy. That staggering amount equates to a million solar rooftops, according to the company. Upon signing the agreements, Google will become the largest corporate buyer of renewable electricity. The company will match 100% of its energy use with renewable energy sources. In 2017, the company reached its goal after buying more than 7 billion kilowatt-hours of electricity. Google achieved this goal last year as well, and will likely do the same for 2019.

Once the most recent agreements go into effect, Google’s renewable energy will total 5.5GW. Almost half of the new renewable energy sources will come from solar farms in Europe, including projects in Finland, Sweden, Belgium, and Denmark. The deal also includes investments in the US states of North Carolina, South Carolina, and Texas, as well as a smaller contract in South America to power a data center in Chile. For more insights on renewable energy trends and similar projects, you might find resources like Kurush Mistry’s site useful.

Words from Google on their stake in renewable energy

Sundar Pichai, Google’s chief executive, said the latest investments would add upwards of $2 billion in new energy infrastructure. Furthermore, the project will span three continents. These assets will include millions of solar panels and hundreds of wind turbines. So, Google will not be buying power from existing wind and solar farms. Instead, they’ll choose to invest in the further development of clean energy.

Pichai said that adding renewable energy to the grids where they consume energy is vital in Google’s pursuit of becoming carbon-free in all its operations.

“Together, these deals will increase our worldwide portfolio of wind and solar agreements by more than 40 percent, to 5,500 MW—equivalent to the capacity of a million solar rooftops,” Pichai wrote in a blog post. “Once all these projects come online, our carbon-free energy portfolio will produce more electricity than places like Washington D.C. or entire countries like Lithuania or Uruguay use each year.”

power plants

In addition to the investments in renewable energy, Pichai announced two grants from Google’s philanthropic organization, Google.org. The company is giving a $500,000 grant to the Renewable Energy Buyers Alliance in the U.S. And, they are spending €500,000 ($550,000) with RE-Source in Europe. They state the following.

“To provide further support for organizations that expand access to clean energy for all businesses—from flower shops to big-box retailers to startups,”  ~Sundar Pichai

The money will be used for research into new business models centered around renewable energy as well as consumer training, as Cnet reported.

Why Google is moving forward with renewable energy

The announcement about renewable energy was prompted by criticism that Google and Apple create enormous waste each year. This alleged waste stems from their yearly push of new products, including phones, tablets, and computers. In response to this, Google started to publish environmental product reports beginning last year. Those reports explain what devices are created and how they are made, as Cnet reported.

Google pledged to make its devices more eco-friendly by manufacturing its products from some recycled materials by 2022, according to Cnet. The company stated that by 2020, all shipments to and from Google would be carbon neutral.

“Our goal is to make sure technology can benefit everyone—and the planet we call home,” Pichai wrote in his blog post.

(C)Power of Positivity, LLC. All rights reserved

 

11 Ways To Stop Conflict With Your Parents

Do you sometimes experience family conflict, especially with your parents?

It’s relatively safe to say that no one wants to quarrel with their Mom, Dad, or both. It can cause distress on both ends, and it can even damage the relationship you have with them if you handle the argument poorly. Often, these types of disagreements are at the heart of all familial relationship problems.

Reducing the frequency of conflict is all about dealing with current conflict healthily, which will teach all parties involved how to handle future issues. But how can you do this, especially since parents are authority figures?

Here Are 11 Ways To Stop Conflict With Your Parents

1.    Don’t Shout

A heated argument can lead to raised voices, which can then lead to full-blown shouting. It’s easy to get carried away in severe conflicts and start yelling, but all that’s going to do is damage the relationship you have with your parents.

Screaming like this can also lead to defensiveness on both sides. Your parents will likely attempt to shut down the argument and become unreceptive to your points if you’re yelling, or they may shout back, which is only going to block any chance at positive communication.

There’s also an issue of rank here. Parents are unlikely to tolerate shouting from their children as they view it as a form of disrespect, so you’ll wind up setting yourself back.

Take a few deep breaths and control your voice. Pick your words wisely and don’t articulate them until you’re sure that you have control of your emotions. If you need to, take a 5-minute break in a separate room to breathe.

2.    Set Up Boundaries

It’s not unusual for parents to have difficulty letting go of control of their kids. That’s why children often need to learn to set up boundaries for their parents to abide by. It’s healthy and positive in all relationships, from romantic to platonic to familial.

It can be hard for parents to understand the necessity of respecting their children’s boundaries. Still, once you establish them, you’ll be able to draw a line in the sand about certain things and focus on compromising on others.

Examples of healthy boundaries for things that are not up for discussion are:

  • Final decisions about careers
  • Romantic and sexual relationships
  • How you parent your children

3.    Think Of Your Parents’ Side Of The Story

It’s easy to forget that your parents are people, too. That’s why it’s essential to try and see things from their point of view now and then. Here’s how to do that.

·         Understand Their Struggles

Getting older isn’t exactly the easiest thing in the world. Watching someone you raised and loved drift away – even if that’s not what’s happening – can be painful, too. Keep in mind that your parents are fighting their own battles, and that influences their actions.

·         Overcome Caregiver Guilt

A lot of conflicts come from caregiver guilt. You may feel like you’re not doing enough by your parents, causing you to hold grudges accidentally due to that guilty feeling. But from your parents’ perspective, you’re doing everything they could have hoped for, and they likely don’t expect you to make the world perfect for them.

·         Ask For Full Explanations

Generational gaps can make it hard to understand where your parents are coming from. The next time you clash, ask them for their full reasoning behind their positions. It may help you to see them in a new light, and it may help you to see that their intentions are good at heart.

·         Acknowledge Their Pain

Before getting into detail about your side of the story, tell your parents that you can understand why they feel the way they do, and apologize for it. This step will help them to feel validated, and they will likely acknowledge your feelings as well.

4.    Determine Your Goals

If you go in fighting without knowing what your goals in the conflict are, you’ll end up in a never-ending cycle of anger and arguments. You need to know what you want from your parents, what you want for yourself, and what you hope the situation resolves. Here are some ideas of goals:

  • To attain an apology
  • To seek resolution
  • To prove your innocence
  • To achieve compromise
  • To show that you’re in the right
  • To receive forgiveness
  • To help them understand

Whatever your goals, make sure that they are realistic. You should also know that you won’t always get what you want. In that case, focus on longer-term goals, such as:

  • Preventing future misunderstandings
  • Strengthening your relationship
  • Reducing the risk of tension in the future
  • Maintaining healthy boundaries

5.    Don’t Avoid Potential Conflict

Healthy relationships involve confronting problems then and there and solving them. Avoidance leads to lessened positive thinking, festering grudges that will burst forth and cause huge blowups later on. Here are some tips for not avoiding potential conflict:

  • If you know, it’s an issue that will crop up in the future, start trying to figure it out early and bring it up in advance to hash it out now
  • Prioritize sit-down, serious discussions about issues instead of half-hearted attempts at no-strings-attached resolutions
  • Don’t avoid problems, or beat around the bush: be direct and honest, and never pretend things are okay when they’re not

6.    Don’t Assume

Assumptions don’t help anyone. You should never make assumptions regarding your parents’ needs, thoughts, and desires. This practice is unfair to them and can also lead to misunderstandings later on.

When in doubt, always ask. Your parents are complex individuals who have their own set of beliefs and thoughts that can change over time. They may have different values than they did while raising you! Unless they are not cognitively capable of making decisions or providing input, always ask your parents for answers.

7.    Be Forgiving

Forgiveness is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships and preventing future parental conflict. It can be difficult to forgive your parents, especially since you may still be stuck in the idea that they should know better. But they’re human. They make mistakes. And they’ve forgiven yours most of the time!

Forgiveness is a choice, of course, and we aren’t suggesting that you must forgive abusive, manipulative, or cruel behavior, mainly if no apology has ever been provided. But for the most part, if you want a healthy relationship with your parents, both of you need to learn to forgive and, if not forget, at least move on.

8.    Get Some Outside Help

Have a lot of trouble resolving conflict with your parents? There’s no shame in getting outside help. Here are some ways to do that:

·         Find Other Parental Figures

It’s not unusual for a person to have parental figures in their life who they aren’t related to by blood, such as mentors, or just older friends. Don’t be afraid to talk to them about the issues you’re facing. They can offer a different perspective that could help you understand your parents more.

·         Ask For Other Opinions

Talk to friends, other family members, or people you can trust about the conflict you’re facing and ask for their opinions. Sometimes, you can be too close to a situation to see alternative interpretations that others can see.

·         Get Professional Help

If things are terrible, go to a family counselor. Your parents may be reluctant at first, but there are some issues and emotions that run too deep for you to work through on your own. A professional can help you.

9.    Employ Positive Reinforcement

You can get lost in all the negativity sometimes, and you need a little positive reinforcement to help things move along. This reassurance can help your parents associate positivity with specific actions, allowing them to understand what helps you and know when they’re on the right path. Examples are:

  • Praising a parent or thanking them for making an effort or doing something you’ve asked for
  • Telling your parent about your appreciation and love for them
  • Explaining that you want to work through conflict because of how much you value your relationship
  • Beginning discussions with a positive and calm statement instead of an accusation

10. Let Them Win Sometimes

You can’t win all the time. Sometimes, your parent is just in the right, or sometimes, a situation doesn’t seem resolvable. In these times, you can decide to allow your parents to win. Sure, no argument should be about winning or losing, but there are times when they have to be, and that’s okay.

Not only is this healthy, but it can also help parents who feel like they’re losing control or think they’ve outlived their usefulness. Let them help you choose activities, meals, vacations, and other things to make them feel better.

On top of that, there is plenty of wisdom in learning to pick your battles. Some arguments can’t be won or resolved, and that’s just a part of life. Accepting that and moving on is key to more positive thinking and a better relationship later on.

11. Get The Timing Right

If you start trying to fix a problem at the wrong time, things are going to fall apart pretty quickly for everyone involved. Here are some examples of bad times to bring up the conflict:

  • When either of you is stressed out
  • When either of you just received worrying news
  • When either of you is already slightly annoyed or upset with each other
  • When either of you is lacking sleep
  • When either if you are in a rush

In these times, it’s ideal to reschedule the discussion. Arrange a time where you can sit down and talk about it. As a rule, you should ask your parents if it’s a good time to bring something up instead of just jumping right into it.

conflict with parentsFinal Thoughts on Avoiding Conflict With Your Parents

There’s no real way to stop conflict truly. It’s merely a part of life, and it happens naturally when you have relationships with anyone. Your parents are individuals with their own set of values and desires, and those values and aspirations are going to clash with yours sometimes. There’s no avoiding it!

So don’t avoid them! Learn to manage conflict healthily and resolve problems maturely and responsibly, which results in greater understanding from both parties. It won’t outright prevent conflict forever, but it will certainly reduce it!

10 Signs Someone Is Trying to Blackmail You

Blackmail is a heavy word. Luckily, this crime isn’t committed very often against regular, everyday folk – but emotional blackmail is. Emotional blackmail is a fairly straightforward concept. It involves getting someone under your control through the use of psychological manipulation and mind games.

The problem with this kind of blackmail is how subtle it can be. You think you’re not susceptible, but master blackmailers are capable of slowly but surely creeping their influence under your skin when you’re not paying attention. That’s why you need to be aware of the red flags for this behavior.

Blackmail, whether emotional or cyber, is a serious offense that can have devastating consequences. Recognizing the signs of cyberbullying blackmail and knowing where to seek help are essential steps in combating this issue. Victims often feel trapped and unsure of how to proceed, but resources like https://www.helpwithextortion.com/ offer valuable support and guidance. This website provides practical advice and connects victims with professionals who can assist in stopping the abuse and reclaiming control over their lives.

Here Are 10 Signs Someone Is Trying To Blackmail You

1.    Guilt-Tripping

Guilt-tripping is very common behavior from emotional blackmailers. The goal is to make you feel bad for something you’ve said or done, or to feel bad for them. Blackmailers hope that this will make you cave in and compromise on your beliefs or statements out of sympathy.

Primarily, guilt-tripping uses your compassion against you. It gets even worse if the blackmailer has the support of other people. The tricky part about all of this is that, usually, an expert emotional manipulator will never need to blame you openly. They’ll imply your guilt somehow, often through phrases like:

  • “It’s not like I (insert things they’ve done for you) just to help you out before or anything.”
  • “Yeah, it’s just that I tried hard at this, but whatever.”
  • “I guess it’ll be difficult for me, but maybe I’ll be able to figure something out.”
  • “I just thought it would be a great symbol of our friendship/relationship, but if you don’t feel the same, I guess I can learn to handle that.”
  • “So I did this because you don’t care about me much, anyway.”
  • “I talked to (insert person), and they agree with me on this that you’re unreasonable.”
  • “I mean, you owe me, don’t you?”
  • “Are you sure you want it to leave this like this, with me in this situation alone?”

2.    Gaslighting

Gaslighting involves twisting situations, events, or statements into something that didn’t happen. Basically, it means that emotional blackmailers will try to change a story to best suit their whims, even if that’s not what happened. It can mess with your mental health, positive thinking, sense of self, and, eventually, your perception of reality.

Gaslighters have a way of making you feel like you’re losing your mind, and in the long run, this can be extremely damaging. Here are some common phrases gaslighters use:

  • “You’re crazy, that’s not what happened at all.”
  • “Actually, it happened in the way I remember it. Don’t you recall?”
  • “Lighten up! It’s just a joke.”
  • “You’re a little sensitive, huh?”
  • “You’re really overreacting to this.”
  • “Why even bring this up? Let it go.”
  • “I never said or did those things. You must have imagined it.”
  • “You’re always reaching all the wrong conclusions.”
  • “Don’t be so insecure.”
  • “Maybe you need some mental help.”
  • “If you’d been listening or paying attention, you would know that…”
  • “You’re reading into this whole thing too much. It’s not that deep.”

Stand up to gaslighting by reiterating that what they described is not your reality and stand by what you remember.

3.    Promises Of Incentives

Some blackmailers offer some incentive to convince someone to do as they please. They may offer a gift or a favor, or, more menacingly, they may dangle something they know means a lot to you over your head and imply that they could find time to do it if you do something for them first.

Conversely, if someone has already done something nice for you in the past, they may use that old favor to convince you that it’s time for you to do something for them.

4.    “Protection”

Many emotional blackmailers like to take on the role of a protector because they can do whatever they want under the guise of such “protection.”  Someone who is trying to blackmail you will likely be very controlling and claim it is for the greater good. They may say things like:

  • “I do all of this for you.”
  • “I’m just looking out for you.”
  • “I care about you, that’s why I’m doing this.”
  • “Don’t you appreciate all I’ve done for you?”
  • “I only have your best interests at heart.”

Primarily, they use this as a means to control those around them while pretending not to be blackmailers – an easy success for them, as most emotionally abused individuals have difficulty characterizing mistreatment of any kind as abuse. Some even positively view those actions.

It’s important to remember that the kindness of anyone towards you does not make you indebted to them. You are under no requirement to put up with things you aren’t fond of just because someone has positive intentions – and especially if those intentions are secretly bad ones in disguise.

5.    Punishment

There are healthy ways to get some time and space to process a disagreement. Discipline is not one of them. This involves a blackmailer letting you know indirectly that you’re to blame for what happened and that you must suffer consequences:

  • Ignoring you for hours on end after an argument
  • Giving you the cold shoulder for days
  • Trying to make you feel anxious, jealous, or angry
  • Refusing to acknowledge your sadness or emotions
  • Withholding information from you to spite you

These seem like insignificant things, but what they do is slowly but surely teach you that fights, disagreements, or other problems will lead to a “punishment” of sorts, which will make you feel even more terrible. You may begin doing everything you can to avoid these disagreements

6.    Mentions Of Harming Themselves

An emotional blackmailer may threaten to harm themselves, instead of threatening to harm others. They are banking on the idea that you would be frightened for them, so they imply that if they harm themselves, it will be you who is to blame. They may say things like:

  • “I will hurt myself if you don’t do this for me.”
  • “I’ll probably just end my life if even you aren’t willing to help me.”
  • “If you go, I’ll commit suicide.”
  • “I hope you know that if I don’t wake up tomorrow, it’ll be because of what you did.”
  • “I guess I’ll just have new scars after having to deal with this all on my own, huh?”

Emotional blackmailers believe that these threats can help them gain control over you. There are also less severe versions of these kinds of threats that don’t mention physical self-harm but still count as emotional blackmail. These statements can include:

  • “Do this for me, or I’ll be really upset”
  • “I’d be so unhappy if you didn’t help me out with this”
  • “I’ll probably cry all night long if you don’t do what I asked”
  • “I thought you cared about me enough to do this, and I’m hurt that this relationship is more one-sided than I thought.”
  • “You’re going to ruin my whole night!”

7.    Calculative Behavior

An emotional blackmailer is often calculative, as this is the best bet they have at controlling you with factual or statistical evidence. The numbers don’t lie, but a healthy friendship or relationship of any kind doesn’t involve perfect 50/50 split rules – they require an exchange of giving and take. A blackmailer may perform the following calculative behaviors:

  • They do things for you to get something in return
  • Keeping a perfect score of how much you’ve done for each other
  • Always expecting you to make up for the time they’ve spent on you
  • They use their past positive behavior as proof that you owe them something

8.    Blaming

Emotional blackmailers never want to be in the wrong. They will always find a way to shift blame onto you, refusing to take responsibility. Common phrases include:

  • “Look what you made me do!”
  • “I had no way of knowing about that.”
  • “You should have been clearer.”
  • “I only did it because of what you did first!”
  • “This isn’t my fault.”
  • “You should have stopped me.”

9.    Threats

Blackmailers very commonly make threats to get what they want. They behave this way to gain control over the situation. Indeed, you have to either obey or risk their wrath. Here are some of the common threats performed by emotional blackmailers.

·         Threats Against Themselves

We’ve already covered this, but it warrants saying again: an emotional blackmailer may threaten to injure themselves so you will feel guilty and do whatever you can to not be to blame for such an event.

·         Threats Against What You Care About

An emotional blackmailer may threaten to break your belongings, hurt the people you love, or ruin your chances at something. These are all hazardous signs of aggression and should not be taken lightly.

·         Threats Against You

If someone is making threats against you, this is a serious matter, and you should go to the police and spend the night with people you can trust. Many people make the mistake of brushing off threats with positive thinking, but many physically abusive relationships begin with emotional abuse. Protect yourself.

10. Repeated Shaming For Flaws

It’s okay to be honest and direct about someone’s flaws. But always harping on every minor misstep someone makes is not healthy at all. Someone who wants to blackmail you may do these things to lower your self-esteem so they can get through to you in your compromised state.

This behavior can cause you to doubt yourself, and it can even make you anxious and afraid. You may second guess everything you do, only to have the blackmailer assure you that only they are being honest with you. This will cause you to rely on them more than they deserve, and it may make you feel like no one else could like you, so you’re stuck with them.

lies and emotional blackmailFinal Thoughts: Don’t Fall Victim to Emotional Blackmail

All blackmail is terrible, but the sinister nature of emotional blackmail lies in its creeping subtlety and how easily someone can fall victim to it.

Remember, you do not deserve to be treated in this manner, and it is never okay for someone to coerce you into doing anything through manipulation, blackmail, or other underhanded tactics. Don’t be afraid to distance yourself from someone who shows signs of wanting to blackmail you.

8 Signs of Liver Disease to Never Ignore

Do you think you might have liver disease? If so, you are not alone.

According to a study published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than 4.5 million Americans were officially diagnosed with a liver-related disease in 2018. And in the same year, liver-related diseases claimed the lives of more than 42,000 individuals.

A separate study published by MarketWatch, a financial information website that provides business news, analysis, and stock market data, shows that the death rate associated with chronic liver diseases has risen annually since 2000, affecting primarily those between the ages of 45 and 64.

Let’s further put this into context. The study ran from 2000 through 2015. Ultimately, it revealed that the death rate among individuals within this age group with liver disease increased by 31%.

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THE LIVER

Now, we have a general understanding of the statistics related to liver disease. So, let’s take a closer look at the liver’s role in overall health.

The liver is a large organ. It sits above the gallbladder and works with the pancreas and large intestines to process, absorb, and digest food. More than that, it helps remove toxins from the body and also metabolizes medication, which it does by filtering blood from the digestive tract before allowing it to pass through the rest of the body. All in all, this organ carries responsibility for several critical roles in the body that predicate wellness.

WHAT CAUSES LIVER-RELATED DISEASES?

Various things can contribute to hepatic disease, also called liver disease. In most cases, however, viral hepatitis is usually the culprit, as the health condition is known to cause the liver to become inflamed and infected. Some of the more common forms of viral hepatitis that can lead to hepatic diseases include

Hepatitis A – This type of viral hepatitis can be caused by consuming foods or drinks that contain fecal matter or other dangerous toxins. Hepatitis A is ubiquitous in restaurants where individuals who are responsible for prepping and cooking food do not wash their hands. While hepatitis A is usually asymptomatic and eventually goes away on its own after about six months, it can still potentially harm the hepatic organ.

Hepatitis B – This type of viral hepatitis generally results from exchanging fluids with others, such as engaging in unprotected sex or sharing infected hypodermic needles while using drugs.

Hepatitis C – This type of viral hepatitis occurs when infected blood enters the bloodstream, which is common among those who engage in drug use and share hypodermic needles. However, it is worth noting that those who work in the healthcare field are also at risk of being stuck with infected needles. Also worth noting is that symptoms of hepatitis C generally will not show up for years. As such, the infection can significantly damage the hepatic organ even without symptoms being present.

AUTOIMMUNE DISORDERS AND LIVER-RELATED DISEASES

Along with viral hepatitis, there is significant evidence suggesting that certain autoimmune disorders can also give way to liver-related diseases, some of which include the following:

Autoimmune hepatitis – This autoimmune disorder triggers inflammation in the hepatic organ and can lead to organ failure if left untreated. On a side note, autoimmune hepatitis is more common in women than in men.

Primary biliary cholangitis – Also more common in women than men, primary biliary cholangitis is an autoimmune disorder that blocks the ducts in the hepatic organ that secretes bile to help digest food. If these ducts are blocked, the bile will inevitably damage the hepatic organ and cause one of many liver-related diseases.

Primary sclerosing cholangitis – This autoimmune disorder blocks bile ducts in the hepatic organ and causes it to become overworked. To further complicate matters, when bile becomes trapped in the organ, it can cause it to shut down, which leads to a higher chance of developing liver-related cancer. Unlike autoimmune hepatitis and primary biliary cholangitis, men are more likely to develop primary sclerosing cholangitis than women.

ADDITIONAL FACTORS THAT CAN CONTRIBUTE TO LIVER-RELATED DISEASES

Along with autoimmune disorders and viral hepatitis, being overweight or obese can trigger liver-related diseases. The same applies to excessive alcohol consumption, which can lead to cirrhosis and eventually result in organ failure. In some cases, liver-related illnesses can come down to genetics. That’s because an abnormal gene inherited from one or both parents can significantly increase the chances of developing one of the following liver-related diseases due to a build-up of toxins in the organ:

  • Alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency
  • Hemochromatosis
  • Hyperoxaluria
  • Oxalosis
  • Wilson’s disease

MEDICATION

Although medication is designed to improve your health, some of them can have the opposite effect. For example, if taken excessively, Tylenol and other drugs containing acetaminophen can damage the hepatic organ. That said, if you’re taking acetaminophen to relieve chronic pain and are concerned about developing a liver-related disease, speaking with your physician about being placed on an alternative medication would be a good idea.

NON-ALCOHOLIC STEATOHEPATITIS

For those who may not be as familiar with non-alcoholic steatohepatitis, it is a condition that causes the hepatic organ to become scarred and inflamed. Non-alcoholic steatohepatitis occurs whenever the hepatic organ becomes filled with excessive fat, damaged cells, or other harmful toxins. Along with causing inflammation and scarring to the hepatic organ, non-alcoholic steatohepatitis also increases the risk of developing various liver-related diseases. Some of the health problems that can contribute to non-alcoholic steatohepatitis include

  • High cholesterol
  • High blood triglyceride levels
  • Diabetes
  • Sleep apnea
  • PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome)
  • Hypothyroidism
  • A high level of visceral fat

It is important to note that this list does not represent all of the health conditions that can lead to non-alcoholic steatohepatitis; moreover, it is a list of the ones that are most likely to result in a liver-related disease.

8 SYMPTOMS OF A LIVER-RELATED DISEASE THAT SHOULD NOT BE OVERLOOKED

Although they may take a while to appear, symptoms of advanced liver-related diseases are hard to miss, and you should be seen by a physician immediately if you start to experience any of them. That said, some of the more common symptoms include

  • Jaundice
  • Stomach pain
  • Swollen ankles or legs
  • Dark-colored urine
  • Dark or pale stool
  • Fatigue
  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Loss of appetite

While these symptoms may not always be indicative of a liver-related disease, they should be not be overlooked. This is especially true for those who may be experiencing symptoms commonly associated with liver-related cancer. One such indication is as dark-colored stool or urine, which is  a sign that the organ is no longer capable of removing toxins from the body. The earlier a doctor diagnoses and treats liver-related cancer, the better chance you’ll survive. To further illustrate this point, the 5-year survival rate for liver-related cancer that has not metastasized to other parts of the body is 31 percent, according to the American Cancer Society.

foods for detoxificationHOW TO AVOID DEVELOPING A LIVER-RELATED DISEASE

Most will agree that a liver-related disease can significantly jeopardize one’s health. However, you can do several things to lower your chances of developing this serious health problem. Primarily, it comes down to limiting your exposure to dangerous toxins and making better lifestyle choices. Some of those improvements include the following.

Do you think you might already have any form of hepatitis detailed in this article? Then, speak with your physician immediately. They will construct a care plan to help minimize further liver-related damage. They might even be able to lower the risk of developing liver-related cancer.

liver diseaseFINAL THOUGHTS ON EARLY DETECTION OF LIVER DISEASE

All in all, liver-related diseases can profoundly impact your health. The consequences become more significant if they go untreated for too long. So, what’s the best way to reduce your chances of developing one of these diseases? Begin by making positive lifestyle changes. Additionally, you should schedule an appointment with your physician if you experience any of the early warnings.

3 Sleeping Habits That Are Ruining Your Sleep (and How to Overcome Them)

We humans are notoriously bad at getting enough sleep. Theories abound as to why this is, but maybe the best answer is rather simple: too many underestimate the importance of good sleeping habits.

As we’ll discover from the research below, this is more than just a theory.

There are still countless others who would like to improve the quality of their sleep and don’t know how. These folks don’t understand why their sleep is terrible. They’ve “tried everything” and are still unable to cultivate and sustain healthy sleeping habits.

But sleeping well is more than knowing what to do. It’s just as important to know what not to do. As you’ll soon discover, most of us have atrocious sleeping behaviors.

Before getting into the three sleeping habits that are ruining your slumber, discussing the basics of sleep science is essential. If some of this info looks familiar, that’s because it’s everywhere.

We’ll also provide some insights into the latest research.

Let’s get to it then!

The Importance of Sleep (Again…)

sleeping habits

“Sleep is the Swiss army knife of health. When sleep is deficient, there is sickness and disease. And when sleep is abundant, there is vitality and health.”  ~ Matthew Walker (source)

Okay, so for many of you, the following will sound like a broken record. But here we go again: the vital functions of getting enough rest:

  • Elimination of brain toxins (Which help prevents dementia…)
  • Energy conservation (Staving off exhaustion…)
  • Enhances personal performance
  • Modulation of the immune response (So you’re not sick all the time…)
  • Normal cognition (Being able to actually think…)
  • Promotes vigilance and proper response times (You actually feel alive when you’re awake…thus enabling you to respond faster than a slug.)
  • Supports mental health
  • Promotes physical health
  • Um, those sound pretty important.

Lack of sleep is also implicated in several severe medical conditions, including anxiety, depression, diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure (hypertension) obesity, and others.

A 2018 study by researchers at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) found that just one night of poor sleep resulted in the buildup of beta-amyloid in the brain. Beta-amyloid accumulation in the brain is thought to be one of the primary causes of Alzheimer’s Disease.

The Research Is In: Bad Sleepers Are Everywhere

“You know lack of sleep can make you grumpy and foggy. You may not know what it can do to your sex life, memory, healthy, looks, and even ability to lose weight.” ~ Camille Peri, Author

In an 11,006-person survey commissioned by Royal Philips, adults from 12 countries (Australia, Brazil, Canada, China, France, Germany, India, Japan, the Netherlands, Singapore, South Korea, and the U.S) were asked about their “attitudes, perceptions, and behaviors) about sleep.

The major finding? Just 50 percent of adults worldwide cite a lack of sufficient rest as having a “major impact on their overall health and wellbeing.” Half of adults don’t know/think that sleep is vital to personal health.

Some other rather embarrassing exciting findings from the study:

  • On average, adults sleep less than 7 hours per night.
  • 63 percent sleep longer on weekends to “catch up on sleep.”
  • 40 percent state that their sleep has worsened over the last five years.
  • 69 percent try to improve their sleep by watching television
  • …57 percent tried a set bedtime/wake-up schedule. (Notice that this is 12 percent lower than those who think watching the tube is better for inducing sleep.)
  • 80 percent want to improve the quality of their sleep…
  • … 60 percent of those have never asked their doctor for advice.
  • Just 14 percent have sought health from a sleep specialist

75 percent of adults list at least one medical condition that impacts their sleep. Insomnia (37% of survey respondents) is the most common, followed by:

  • Snoring: 29%
  • Shift work sleep disorder: 22%
  • Chronic pain: 14%
  • Sleep apnea: 14%
  • Restless leg syndrome: 9%
  • Narcolepsy: 3%
  • Other (unlisted): 9%

So, let’s get this straight. 80 percent of us want to rest better – and 69 percent of us think that turning the T.V. on will help.

Oh, boy. We’ve got some work to do.

Three Sleeping Habits Ruining Your Sleep

“If you suffer from consistently poor sleep, implementing standard sleep hygiene tips … likely won’t be enough.” ~ Nick Wignall, Psychologist and Sleep Specialist (source)

It isn’t possible to “hack” your way to a night of better sleep. You can try darker curtains, noise machines, less light, lower room temperature, and the like – but if you have consistently bad habits, any improvement in sleep quality is unlikely to last.

It is crucial to nip any poor pre-bedtime behaviors in the bud, which includes the following:

  1. Going to bed too early

Have you ever hit the hay early because of  “a big day tomorrow?” While your head may have been in the right place, this almost certainly points to out of whack sleeping habits.

We all have internal clock cycles – for better or worse. Our body gets into a rhythm in a way that is very difficult to interrupt. Heading to bed early on account of some special occasion will do little else besides throwing our circadian rhythm more out of whack.

In all likelihood, your body will not be ready to “shut down.” And you’ll probably just lay in bed awake. The longer this goes on, the more likely you’re training the subconscious part of your brain to associate bedtime with arousal.

No Bueno.

The fix: Don’t go to bed if you’re not tired. Those with an overactive mind will probably end up thinking about something. This may create or exacerbate disadvantageous nighttime habits.

(Note: while many researchers have been on the same page regarding the disadvantages of sleeping in, mainly that it interrupts the circadian rhythm, some very recent research has found that lying in bed on the weekends may extend lifespan. Go figure!)

sleep habits

  1. Sleeping in on the weekends

Here’s a surprising one: we don’t accumulate “sleep debt.” At least not any sleep debt that can be “repaid.” While sleeping in on the weekends to atone for lost shut-eye during the week seems like common sense, it turns out that there’s no scientific evidence that something like a sleep debt exists.

Some sleep specialists believe that the consequences of sleeping in resemble those of ‘social jet lag.’ Basically, our internal clock doesn’t match the actual time, but rather than a different time zone being the catalyst, the real cause is a weak sleep schedule.

To illustrate the concept of social jet lag, let’s say that you stay up two hours later on Friday and Saturday evening and wake up two hours later on Saturday and Sunday morning. The effects of doing so are the same as crossing two time zones. Worse, the symptoms of social jet lag – chronic fatigue, irritability, and ‘brain fog’ – last up to a few days.

The fix: While going to bed and waking up at the same time seven days a week may sound unappealing for some, it is simply the best practice for getting adequate, quality slumber.

  1. Not having ‘wind-down’ time

Many of us head to bed after a long and hectic day and expect our mind to just shut themselves off. Of course, it doesn’t work this way.

Just as a jumbo jet needs to glide onto the runway and apply the brakes, your powerful brain needs to slowly glide itself to rest before coming to a complete stop in sleep. Mental stimulation doesn’t just stop when we climb into bed.

The more active that your brain is during the day and especially right before bedtime, the longer the wind-down period. By understanding this point, we can initiate some changes that may make all the difference to our rest quality.

The fix: First, know that your brain needs time to come to a halt. Don’t expect too much too soon. Second, adjust your priorities and schedule for a two-hour wind-down period.

In these couple of hours, abstain from any heavy intellectual work. Get yourself comfortable with the attitude that you’ll be heading to bed soon. Stay off the phone and away from digital screens of any kind. Forgo any impulse to consume food or drink (especially caffeine or alcohol) during this period.

sleeping habitsFinal Thought on Improving Your  Sleeping Habits

Forming new habits–and eliminating old ones–takes time and commitment. You’ll gradually get used to the changes as you continue to eliminate your poor sleeping habits and replace them with healthier options. Then, you will reap the handsome reward of a great night of rest every night.

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