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5 Ways To Stop Hating Yourself

October 30, 2019 by Power of Positivity

It’s not surprising that we are harder and less forgiving of ourselves than we are of others. The demands on our time, energy and goodwill seem to be never ending.

And while we are willing to help others happily, at the end of the day, we often forget all the good we do. It’s hard to remember when we’re tired and realize we haven’t reached our personal goals, and all we see is we failed.

A big part of why we think less of ourselves, and even hate ourselves sometimes, comes by way of comparing ourselves to others. It’s natural to compare ourselves to the people around us, and there certainly is no lack of opportunity for it.

Sometimes when we compare ourselves with others, it can motivate us to work harder to achieve our goals. Unfortunately, though, most of the time it leads to feelings of inferiority and can lead us to hate ourselves and our lives.

The more social comparisons we make, the more likely we are to find comparisons that leave us feeling sensitive and even a little paranoid. It doesn’t matter how successful, healthy, or wealthy we are; there will always be someone who is better than us.

So with the demands on our time and our natural ability to compare ourselves to others, how do we stop hating ourselves and start loving our life for what it is? Well, we need to become more mindful of what is happening around us and how individual decisions impact how we feel.

Here are 5 Ways to Stop Hating Yourself

1. Allow yourself to be a Priority

It’s hard to pay attention to anything that isn’t a priority in our lives, including ourselves. Before we can stop hating ourselves, we have to tell ourselves we are worthy; worthy of love, respect, and attention. And we must tell ourselves we deserve good things by making our needs a priority.

Putting ourselves first can often seem wrong, but in reality it allows us to do more for others. One simple trick to making ourselves a priority is to stop the automatic “yes” response. Make a rule never to say yes on the spot. Instead, say, “let me check my schedule and get back to you tomorrow.” Doing this one thing will give us time to evaluate whether the request is serving us or not.

2. Be Curious

The best way to stop disliking anything, especially ourselves, is to learn more. Many times we go through long periods of life thinking we know who we are and what we want. The problem is we continue to grow and evolve so, who we are and what we want can change.

When we start to question who we are, what we want and where we want to go, we are giving ourselves the attention we deserve. It helps us gain a clarity around our life that makes it exciting and hopeful. Hating anything with hope in our heart is difficult.

3. Be Compassionate

We hold ourselves to impossible standards, we feel responsible for things when we shouldn’t, we live in a place of guilt and self-criticism, and we fail to give ourselves the forgiveness we readily give to others.

We need to cut ourselves some slack and give ourselves a break. In other words, we need to be kinder to ourselves. Studies have continuously shown that a lack of self-compassion and kindness can cause depression, anxiety and even lead to eating disorders.

Start with the intention to be kind to yourself. Intentions are our guide for the day. Here are some examples of intentions focused on self-compassion:
* I will pay attention to what I am doing right instead of what I’m doing wrong.
* I will try not to judge myself or others.
* I will forgive myself of the mistakes that I make.
* I will breathe before I react.

4. Be Optimistic

There are many reasons to be optimistic, including that it’s good for your health, and that a positive attitude is what will determine your personal and professional evolution and growth. If you can maintain an optimistic, positive attitude, it will be hard to hate yourself.

Optimism isn’t just about how you react to bad events, but how you perceive future events will unfold. Optimistic people believe down deep in their soul that they will achieve what they set out to do. Having that belief will help us move out of the negative thoughts and into a place where we honor ourselves.

5. Be Grateful

It’s hard to hate when grateful. Those two states of mind cannot coexist. A very simple way to stop hating yourself is to look in the mirror and find something to be grateful for. Make an effort every day to express gratitude for something you’ve done, for some character trait you have or for some physical feature that you like. Do this and your relationship with yourself with begin to change overnight.

10 Hidden Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Care About Your Relationship

October 28, 2019 by Power of Positivity

An ideal relationship is one of equity, where both partners give and take happily in a positive, healthy dynamic. But maybe you’re having some doubts about your own relationship. Is it really one of reciprocity? Does your partner care for you as much as you care for them?

Unfortunately, differences in commitment levels are far from unusual in relationships. But you and your partner both deserve to be with someone who they share a balanced dynamic with, so you need to make sure you’re not being taken for granted or led on.

10 Hidden Signs Your Partner Doesn’t Care About Your Relationship

1 – Your Interactions Are Sparse

How often do you and your partner interact? If they are interested in you beyond a superficial level, they would want to spend as much time as they can with you. This doesn’t mean they won’t be busy or have their own hobbies and commitments. But it does mean that they’d make an effort to see you or at least talk to you very regularly.

Consider:

How often do you go on dates? Is it often many weeks before you see each other in person?
Do you text each other regularly? Or are there long gaps between messages, and many days that you go without speaking?
Do you call each other, especially when you can’t see each other for a while?
How quickly do they respond to your messages or attempts at interaction?
Do they often make last-minute plans, or cancel long-made ones?

If your partner doesn’t seem to want to spend that much time interacting with you, they probably only think of you as a side-fling.

2 – They Avoid Presenting You As A Partner

When you’re with someone you care for, it’s hard not to want to show them off. You proudly announce that this is your girlfriend, boyfriend, or partner. You tag them in cute pictures on social media. You tell others stories about them.

But what if your partner just thinks of you as a fling? They likely won’t want to make others think you’re their partner because they don’t see this as a long-term thing.

A partner who is in it for the long run will:

Be very excited about showing you off to others
Proudly bring you around with them
Introduce you as their partner in a positive way
Tell others about you, even just in passing
Have no problems posting social media photos or statuses that involve you

On the other hand, a partner who doesn’t care about sticking with you will:

Introduce you as a friend or refuse to use committed terms for you
Seem embarrassed by you, as though they don’t want to be seen with you
Never talk about you, ever
Refuse to be open about your relationship on social media

3 – You’ve Never Met Their Friends Or Family

Someone’s friends and family are the people they spend time with. These are the lovely people your partner cares most about. If you were an important part of your partner’s life, they would have decided to introduce you to the other people they love so that their worlds can collide in harmony.

But if your partner doesn’t want you to meet anyone he knows, there’s a good chance that’s because they don’t think it’s necessary. You won’t be around for long enough for the stress and anxiety of these meetings to be worth it, and maybe your partner doesn’t see there being much of a point, to begin with.

4 – You Initiate Everything

No matter what, it seems like you’re always initiating every interaction you have with your partner. They never take the first step, and it’s enough to make anyone wonder if the relationship is a real, committed one. Sadly, the answer is probably “no”. This goes for:

Texts
Calls
Dates
Intimacy
Gestures of affection
Gifts

Your positive thinking may spur you to continue this pattern of repeated and unreciprocated initiation, but be careful. There’s a good chance that they just don’t consider you worth that effort.

5 – Your Interactions Revolve Around Physical Intimacy

Okay, so what if your partner does initiate some things? Does that automatically mean they care about the relationship? Unfortunately, this is not the case, so don’t get ahead of yourself! It’s all about the kinds of interactions they initiate.

Does your partner only seem to ring you up for intimate activities, as though you’re a number to casually dial for booty call services? Perhaps you’ve noticed that, no matter what you’re doing, things always slowly devolve into private, steamy exchanges.

This is even more of a red flag if you try to get your partner to do other activities with you outside of the bedroom, but they repeatedly turn you down. It definitely sounds like they’re only interested in intimate activities, and not in being with you in the long run. Sure, intimacy is important in all sexual relationships, but it shouldn’t be all that you do.

6 – They Don’t Do Anything For You

Relationships are about give and take, and a healthy one involves plenty of that. More importantly, a positive and committed relationship has both partners making “sacrificial” types of gestures for the betterment of their significant other’s life or happiness.

They don’t have to be big gestures, and you certainly shouldn’t expect a partner to give up everything in their life for you. But there are some common signs of commitment through small sacrifices, including:

Doing things for you that they don’t necessarily enjoy
Changing up their schedule every now and then to be with you
Helping you whittle down small things on your to-do list
Being there for you when you’re feeling down
Offering to help you out with small tasks
Buying you simple but meaningful gifts
Actively trying to make you happy

If your partner refuses to do absolutely anything at all for you, there’s a good chance that they don’t care about you or your relationship.

7 – You Only Seem To Meet At The Same Place And/Or Time

Couples typically like the process of switching things up every once in a while, and doing the exact same thing can get fairly monotonous and boring. But for some reason, everything about your relationship is monotonous. You meet at the same places every time you do meet, or at the exact same time, or only at night, or even all three.

Why is this a bad sign? Well, it could indicate that your partner doesn’t want to bring you into their life – they just want you to be a regular stop in their daily routine. It sounds nice until you realize that this means you’re not a partner in this situation: you’re a convenient number on a list. This can also indicate that:

Your partner is hiding something
Your partner doesn’t want to alter their schedule to see you
Or, your partner is meeting with you out of convenience

Of course, jumping to these conclusions quickly is a bad idea, but you should be ready for the unexpected when you bring this up to your partner.

8 – They Don’t Know Much About You (And They Don’t Ask)

Does your partner sometimes feel like a stranger? Do they buy your least favorite chocolate to give you as a gift, even after you’ve told them you dislike it countless times? Do they have no idea what you do for a living? Have they mixed up your hobbies multiple times?

A partner who doesn’t know much about you is probably not interested in finding out more about you and committing it to memory. It’s even worse if they never ask – it truly shows that they have little to no actual interest in you.

This also goes the other way around. A partner who is committed often shares more about themselves with their significant other, according to studies that examine the positive and negative links between self-disclosure and commitment readiness.

9 – They’re Talking To Other People

The most obvious sign that a partner isn’t 100% committed to you is if they’re still shopping around. It seems clear, but many people keep their positive thinking and allow themselves to be one of many because their silver-tongued partner insists they are the real one. But how many other people are they saying that to?

Here’s the truth: studies have shown that attentiveness to alternative romantic options is pervasive in those who are unhappy or lack positive feelings in their relationships. Your partner may:

Actively check out other people constantly (not just every once in a while)
Refuse to delete dating apps from their phone (or lie to you that they have)
Openly flirt with other people (sometimes even when you’re right there!)
Text, call or chat with people while refusing to tell you who they are

10 – They Don’t Talk About The Future

Someone who cares about your relationship and is committed to you will happily discuss the future with you. This doesn’t have to be about marriage or having kids, either (and in most newer relationships, it won’t be!). Instead, you may notice things like:

Your partner talks about his future while including you in it
Your partner seems to naturally include you in all their future plans
Or, your partner expresses a desire to be with you for a long time
Your partner makes plans months in advance with you for vacations, dates, or other events
Your partner is happy to have an open, honest conversation about the direction of your relationship

On the flip side, a partner who completely refuses to talk about the future at all, they probably are not committed to you and don’t care about the relationship nearly as much as you do.

Final Thoughts on Identifying a Weak Relationship

If your partner displays any or many of these ten signs, does it mean that you’re doomed? Well, the outlook isn’t great, but it’s a good idea to maintain some positive thinking first. Sit down with your partner and have a serious discussion about the state of your relationship and where it may be going.

Remember your value in a relationship and don’t allow yourself to be treated less than you deserve. If things aren’t working out with your partner, it’s time to move on. Sure, it’s easier said than done, but a positive, healthy relationship is waiting for you out there – and you can’t find it if you stay in an unhealthy one.

How to Release Emotional Attachments to Toxic Friends

October 28, 2019 by Power of Positivity

Have you ever been in a lousy friendship that ruined your perception of yourself? Did it make you frightened of making other friends? Did it make you scared of saying the wrong thing? Or, did it drag you down, cause you more pain than happiness, and make you miserable overall? Toxic friends have that effect on people.

If that’s the case, then that wasn’t a real or good friendship. If you invested all your time and effort and got barely any positive benefit in return, that’s a friendship better lost. But that’s easier said than done.

Even after you cut off a toxic friend, you can still be tethered to the friendship via a strong emotional attachment. You’ve lived with this pain for so long that you’re conditioned to accept it.

Here’s How To Release Emotional Attachments To Toxic Friends

1. Start By Admitting What’s Happening

Toxic emotional attachments aren’t always thought of as addictions. Of course, in no way are we comparing them directly to alcohol, nicotine, and drug addictions. However, this doesn’t mean that you can’t be addicted to an emotional attachment, and it doesn’t mean that you won’t deny all the bad stuff to justify continuing it.

The first step in virtually any addiction support program is admitting what’s happening. You need to be aware of the toxic behavior of your friend and the way it was affecting you. Admit to yourself that this is a serious issue and that you’re in a bad situation. If you ignore it, it will only get worse and worse. Most toxic friendships do not improve.

You need to acknowledge what is happening. You can:
Pay attention to how interacting with your friend makes you feel
Look for others who are dealing with the same issues as you
Look for others who have dealt with and overcome the same problems as you
Understand that you aren’t a bad person because you’re in a toxic friendship
Learn to let go of guilt and focus on positive thinking (remember that blame can be toxic, too!)

Admitting what’s wrong is the first step to recovery. It’s painful, but it’s crucial.

2. Shift Your Focus To Yourself (instead of on toxic friends)

When you spend a lot of time with toxic people, you wind up focusing entirely on them, often by:

Devoting all your efforts to keeping them happy
Rushing to meet their demands
Being goaded into (or resisting being pushed into) passive-aggressive interactions
Walking on eggshells to avoid being misconstrued
Avoiding or defusing fights

This can cause you to be totally drained, and you spend all your time focusing on them instead of yourself. This is how toxic relationships really take their toll – you invest your emotional energy on someone who doesn’t reciprocate, and your entire worldview begins to shift to center around that person.

Many people make the mistake of believing that self-focus is an inherently selfish trait, but in moderation, it’s one of the most healthy and positive actions you can take for yourself. You should be your own top priority!

But how can you shift your focus internally, especially after a long time of focusing on other people? The trick is to figure out what your wants and needs are. Ask yourself:

How do you feel, and how do you want to feel?
What is happening now, that is hurting you?
What are your hopes and dreams?
Just what is it that you want to spend your time and energy on?
How can you improve your situation?
How can you achieve your goals?
What can you do to make yourself happy now?

Focusing on yourself can be difficult, but it’s an excellent way to release emotional attachments to people who should not be in your life anymore. Treat yourself well; people will come and go, but you’ll always be with you.

3. Take Up Healthy Habits

Taking care of your mental state isn’t just about being in tune with your thoughts. It’s also about taking care of your physical body. A healthy body makes for a healthy mind, and physical activity, among other things, has been proven to have positive effects on mental health. While it can’t serve as a cure-all, it can undoubtedly aid in relieving some symptoms.

A regular, healthy routine can also help you to move on from toxic attachments that could cause your mind to be preoccupied. As you work through those complicated emotions, committing to a routine can help you go through the motions every day, providing a distraction from the change in your life as you heal from the toxic friendships.

What sorts of healthy things can you add to your routine? Here are a few ideas:

Exercise
Eat well (cook healthy foods)
Write, draw, or read
Take up a new hobby or learn a new skill that you practice daily
Make your self-care products and use them
Adopt a relaxing self-care routine (such as soaking in a bath or applying a face mask)
Meditation or deep breathing exercises

It’s easy to fall into the trap of not going about daily life when you’re grieving the loss of an emotional attachment, even an unhealthy one. That’s why crafting a healthy routine and distracting yourself with attention-worthy endeavors is often crucial in the healing process.

Don’t be afraid to try out a few different things to find out what will help you the best. Take a class to learn something new, try out a unique style of cooking, teach yourself to play an instrument – these are all options you can consider!

4. Don’t Be Afraid To Reach Out

Some battles are too difficult to fight on your own. Sure, it’s your fight, and you’re strong enough to take it on independently. But even the strongest warriors need a little help sometimes, and there is no shame in asking for that help.

You can find support in many different places. You might:

Find online communities of people who have been through similar difficulties
Talk to family members, other friends, or people who you can trust
Speak to a mental health professional, such as a counselor, therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist

If you’re building up the courage to talk about it to people, you can first start by expressing your emotions through other means, such as:

Journaling
Writing poetry, songs, or stories
Drawing, painting, and making art
Singing and making music

Still, make sure that you eventually find your way to a listening ear. Speaking to someone can help you to sort out your feelings, and it will remind you that you’re not alone in your struggles. Some people can lend you an ear or a shoulder!

5. Take Your Time Opening Up Again

Many people do not understand that toxic friendships can be just as harmful to one’s psyche as toxic romantic relationships are. They might force you just to move on quickly, saying phrases like:

“It’s not a big deal.”
“You need to make new friends now!”
“Just use positive thinking and get over it!”

But toxic friendships can be just as painful. Many of them are even more challenging to overcome than romantic toxicity. This is due to the lack of support that can be obtained for platonic toxicity.

You should take your time to heal and recover before becoming close to others again. Rushing the process can lead to less-than-positive situations where your behavior and baggage destroy more than it builds.

However, do note that you must have the goal of eventually opening up again. You cannot use your negative experiences with this bad friendship as a stain on your entire life, or as an excuse to never be social again.

Relationship experts recommend that you slowly open yourself up to meeting new people. Don’t force friendship-type bonds; focus on making acquaintances and enjoying yourself and let friendships form naturally.

After some time of this, you can slowly try to open your heart to having close friendships once more. Take it slowly, be aware of your emotions, and keep a handle over certain impulses or fears that are leftover from the toxicity. Keep communication lines open and set definite boundaries for yourself, and you’ll manage just fine!

6. Be Hopeful for the Future

Friendships, just like any other relationship, can be complicated. As you recover, you mustn’t lose hope. The future is full of possibilities. The world may feel like it’s ending when you cut off emotional attachments to toxic friends, but it isn’t ending – it’s still spinning and going on and on and on. And you will, too!

There’s no immediate rush to get over these problems. But you’ll want to know that this positive thinking in a hopeful mindset is waiting for you in the future. You will eventually be free of these burdens and be ready to take on and face new ones.

Ultimately, you’ll want to learn that there is little in life that is certain. Being at peace with this fact can help you accept the ups and downs and stick around to see their positive ends. Of course, this is a work in progress, and it’s a lesson you’ll likely be teaching yourself for decades to come. But there’s no better time to start than now!

Final Thoughts on Freeing Yourself from Toxic Friends

Emotional abuse isn’t something that only exists in romantic or familial relationships. Friendships can come with abuse, too. The important thing is being able to discern when you’re in an unhealthy and toxic friendship so you can get out as soon as possible.

It can take time to fully move on from the turmoil of a toxic friendship. Be kind to yourself. Take your time, get in touch with who you are and what you want, and focus on your life and your personal health.

Then, when you’re ready, start to open up your heart again. We promise that there are many amazing people out there who would make amazing and incredible friends and that you’ll find the platonic relationships you’ve always dreamed of.

For now, though, you need to recover – and you’re strong enough to do so! Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect. Keep that in mind and hold onto that at you release toxic friends and through your healing journey.

Researchers Reveal Why Narcissists Are Obsessed With Getting Revenge

October 28, 2019 by Power of Positivity

Throwing a personality disorder diagnosis on people we know is unfair and, frequently, an erroneous claim. The label “narcissist” is one such label that has garnered a lot of attention in social media and the news in the last few years.

So narcissism is a personality disorder, and we can apply the term to some people. However, it is also quite a popular label we use unfairly on many others. Professionals use a set of established criteria before diagnosis. Additionally, they look for expected extreme behaviors. One such behavior is a strong need to get revenge. Researchers reveal why the narcissists obsess over getting revenge.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

A person with a strong tendency towards always being right, needing to be the center of attention and strong selfish behavior is not always a narcissist. Here are the personality traits professionals look for according to the DSM V Handbook (Diagnostic and Statistical Handbook of Mental Disorders edition 5) used by mental health professionals:

An extreme sense of self-importance
Need for chronic and excessive attention
Feeling of entitlement
Lacking in empathy
Behavior that is arrogant or patronizing
Exploitative and manipulative in relationships, casual or personal. Will take advantage of others for their own benefit
Believes themselves to be so special compared to others. Beliefs only select individuals are worthy
Is either envious of others or believes others are envious of them
Extreme fascination with exaggerated signs of wealth, power, control, prestige, or appearance

According to the DSM5, a narcissist only has to demonstrate five of these characteristics but must genuinely display all of them. In addition to these traits, certain others play into other behaviors:

A strong dislike of criticism. Any verbiage or action which can even be construed as criticism will create a harsh reaction.
Believe themselves to be correct at all times
Make statements regarding the height of their knowledge that exceeds most others.
Finally, they won’t acknowledge their mistakes and will blame others or outside incidents for their actions.

These above characteristics feed into these behaviors:

Display anger and impatience when they don’t receive attention
Have strong insecurities, which leave them vulnerable to any hint of rejection
Lack of control in their emotions and behavior
Difficulty adjusting to change and stressors
Failing to reach perfection leaves them feeling depressed and moody
Internally struggle with feelings of shame, insecurity, vulnerability, and humiliation

Narcissism is rarely diagnosed in the teenage years due to the chronic changing and development of our personalities during this time. On the off occasion that it is diagnosed, traits must have been present for a minimum of 1 year. More commonly, it is diagnosed in adulthood, with personality traits worsening with age. This diagnosis is more common among men than it is in women and affects about 6% of the population.

Narcissistic Injury and Rage

There are two behavioral traits that a narcissist has that can make them a threat to others. One trait usually leads to the other.

The first is a narcissistic injury. Despite how egotistical a narcissist may act, their ego and self-esteem is very fragile. This makes them susceptible to the slightest criticism, lack of attention or sense of being slighted. Scientists call this a narcissistic injury. This feeling could be from a legitimate situation or one they believe to be real.

Once a narcissist feels that they have been made to feel “less than” somehow, it will spiral into narcissistic rage or revenge. The injury is usually formed from one of these three causes:

Forced to question their confidence. A narcissist’s ego is their protective shell. If too many demands are placed on them, and they are unable to handle the stress, they feel their confidence is being attacked.
Damaged self-esteem. A narcissist has strong feelings of shame and failure. When they feel challenged, it chips away at their façade of entitlement or self-importance. Thus, their true lack of self-esteem emerges, and they cannot handle it.
A narcissist has developed their lives to create this illusion of how overly competent and capable they are. They have surrounded themselves with others who have indirectly supported this idea to allow the illusion to continue. When someone else points out their failures, they become extremely defensive.

Specialists state that this rage forms far quicker than the average person. Most people go through seven stages before hitting rage.

These stages are:

Stress: sensations of anger felt on the unconscious level usually left unexpressed.
Anxiety: Indirect clues or behaviors that subtly show feelings of anger
Agitation: Publicly claimed emotions of dislike or displeasure without blaming anyone or thing
Irritation: Purposeful expressed dislike used to goad the seemingly responsible person
Frustration: Physical expression through changes in facial expression or words
Anger: Loud vocalization and yelling with strong facial expressions
Rage: A narcissist doesn’t control raging emotions. Extreme vocalization and possible violence at an object or person.

Narcissists can go from irritated to rage. Their trigger can be something others would view as mild. To the narcissist, their ego and self-esteem has been bruised and they feel a rush of emotions they cannot control. The main component to recognizing this rage from anger is how exaggerated and disproportionate the reaction is.

They can show rage through verbal or physical aggression or passive-aggressively. The more verbal or physical rage demonstrates itself with cutting sarcasm, strong verbal outbursts, and aggression, with potential violence.

A passive-aggressive approach shows itself as an icy cold demeanor, tension, resentment, sarcasm, and neglect. Either version of rage is an attempt to seek revenge onto the person who they feel exposed to their weakness.

What causes a narcissistic personality?

Scientists aren’t sure what creates a narcissistic personality. The commonly accepted theory is that it is biopsychosocial causation. In other words, possibly a genetic tendency passes down and combines with the individual’s personality traits. Additionally, the person feels the impact of interactions with family, parenting, friends, and school at a young age.

Many also adhere to the idea that as a child, the individual experienced some event(s) which made them question their capability and confidence in themselves, most likely through social interaction. As a result, they covered up their personality with another personality that could compensate. They accomplished this so successfully for a time that they no longer connect with their original personality.

The narcissist in all of us

It is important to understand that we all have narcissistic traits and that only a professional can diagnose an individual with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. For those of us with similar traits, situations can trigger more of those traits if we don’t get a handle on it.

For example, let’s say you have self-esteem issues. Your boss passed on you for a promotion then forced you to train the “new guy”. You would demonstrate passive-aggressive narcissistic traits while internally building up your sense of self to being far better than the person your manager chose for the job.

That is the beginning of narcissism. In fact, that does not mean you have a personality disorder. It means you are exhibiting symptoms that could get far worse without intervention. In our example, the job situation caused the episode.

We should not always fear narcissists. Like any mental illness, these individuals have their strengths and weaknesses, which can be beneficial and detrimental. I once read about how narcissistic surgeons are, and the writer made a compelling argument. “Wouldn’t you rather have someone cutting into you who believed they knew exactly what they were doing than one who was questioning themselves?”

Food for thought.

Final Thoughts on Recognizing a Narcissist:

Researchers reveal why narcissists obsess over getting revenge, and it essentially boils down to the fact that they are extremely insecure, vulnerable, and fearful children who cover it up with delusions, bluster, and might.

I am not implying that if you are in a relationship with a narcissist who is beating you down, physically or emotionally, you should have pity and stay. Not. Your mental health is important, too.

Finally, it is important to note that not all your previous, badly ended relationships mean the partner had a narcissistic personality disorder. Because, of course, only trained professionals can diagnose this disorder accurately. As pointed out above, we can all have narcissistic traits for better or worse.

31 Priceless Love Quotes for Every Lover Out There

October 27, 2019 by Power of Positivity

Love is something that has preoccupied humanity since the beginning of time. Whether you’re in love right now or not, love is a powerful feeling that can overwhelm even the most level-headed thinkers. The best love quotes remind us of all the many reasons being in love is the greatest feeling in the world.

Quotes About Love

The best quotes about love highlight the passion and beauty of being in love, remind us that there’s hope after heartbreak, and keep us grounded in the idea that love is always around us and within us. Read on for 31 quotes about love.

1. “You will always gain something by giving away your love.” — Reese Witherspoon

Some of us fear letting go when we feel something for someone else. However, it is the act of giving in to this feeling that allows us to find the freedom we’re seeking.

2. “His soul and mine are made from the same thing.” — Emily Brontë

Soulmates are called this for a reason. Your soulmate is just the other half of your soul.

3. “Everything that you are is the only thing that I will ever need.” — Ed Sheeran

Quotes about love like this one remind us that love is the only thing we need. Love shows us how deeply, passionately, and truly we care for someone else.

4. “I’m in love with her, and that’s my beginning and my end to everything.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

F. Scott Fitzgerald knew what it felt like to fall in love. Though we all have lives outside of our partners, quotes about love like this describe how all-consuming the feeling of falling for someone is.

5. “Love recognizes zero barriers.” — Maya Angelou

Love and relationships are certainly not easy. However, when love is real, it can overcome any barrier.

6. “Love is the name we give to one single soul that inhabits two different bodies.” — Aristotle

As you fall in love, you’ll realize that your partner isn’t just your significant other; they’re the other half of your soul.

7. “We’re most alive whenever we fall in love.” — John Updike

Falling in love isn’t easy or perfect. Though it may come with a side of heartbreak, falling completely in love is what it is to feel every inch of our humanity.

8. “There is no other charm that equals the tenderness of the heart.” — Jane Austen

Our hearts are tender and vulnerable things. No gift compares to the beauty of giving someone your heart.

9. “The heart has reasons of which our reason knows nothing.” — Blaise Pascal

There’s a reason we lose our heads when we fall in love. There’s really no logic to the act of falling in love. It just happens as it does whether we are ready for it or not.

10. “Love is friendship when that friendship catches fire.” — Ann Landers

Falling in love with your friend may seem strange to some, but many of history’s most successful relationships started as friendships.

11. “Love yourself above everything else and wait for the rest to fall into place.” — Lucille Ball

We all hope to fall deeply and madly in love one day, but this type of love most comes after we find the greatest love of all: self-love.

12. “If you fall in love, don’t blame gravity.” — Albert Einstein

Funny quotes about love like this one remind us that falling in love just happens without rhyme or reason.

13. “If you find a person that you love in life, hang on to the love you feel for them.” — Princess Diana

Love can be a fleeting feeling. If you feel a certain way for somebody, it’s important to hold on to this love as it may one day disappear.

14. “I’d miss you even if you and I never met.” — The Wedding Date

While quotes on love like this may make no sense to those that aren’t in love, this quote reminds us how powerful the connection between soulmates is. Even if you never met your significant other, you’d feel as though there is an absence in your life.

15. “Saying ‘I love you’ is more valuable than any amount of money.” — Frank Sinatra

Many of us search for a way to find meaning and value in life. While many of us dedicate ourselves to our careers, having someone to share love and life with is something far more valuable.

16. “Everything and all I do is for you.” — Bryan Adams

Love comes in many shapes and sizes. Regardless of what love looks like for you, true love is unconditional and selfless. If you’ve found a partner like this, consider yourself blessed.

17. “Don’t look to find someone to live with. Look for someone that you can’t live without.” — Anonymous

When it comes to love relationships, you may be tempted to settle for something or someone simply because you are lonely. However, take this quote to heart.

Rather than put up with a partner you can get through life with, find someone who you can’t seem to do life without.

18. “If you end up living a hundred years, I hope to live to 99 so I don’t ever live a day without you.” — Winnie the Pooh

As one of the most brilliant minds of our time, Winnie the Pooh embodies true love in this adorable quote. When we’re truly in love, we can’t imagine going a day without the person we love.

19. “Love stories don’t have endings.” — Richard Bach

One thing should remain true through life’s good and bad times: love has no end. The love we feel for one another never ends. While it may change shape or transform as relationships change, love is boundless and endless.

20. “There isn’t anything I won’t do for you to feel how much I love you.” — Bob Dylan

Bob Dylan reminds us of the importance of showing how we feel and being true to ourselves.

21. It’s better that we love and lose than to never experience love at all.” — Alfred Lord Tennyson

Things may not go as planned in our lives. We lose those we’re close to at times. While this type of heartbreak can leave deep wounds, it’s better to know the highs and lows that come with love than never to have felt anything at all.

22. “Being brave requires us to love others unconditionally, without expecting something in return.” — Madonna

So often, heartbreak is a result of our expectations not holding up in the face of reality. To truly love someone, we must be brave and accept that unconditional love doesn’t expect to get something in return.

23. “You’ll know that you’ve fallen in love when your reality is better than your dreams.” — Dr. Seuss

Being in love is like finding cloud nine. You’ll never want to come back to earth now that you’ve found your happy place.

24. “It’s great to have that one person you get to annoy until the end of time.” — Rita Rudner

While love is candy, flowers, and hearts at times, other moments show us that love can be filled with silly things that make us fall more and more in love with one another.

25. “The best thing we have in life is to hold on to one another.” — Audrey Hepburn

Nothing in life is guaranteed. Audrey Hepburn’s quote shows us that we should keep our loved ones close as long as possible.

26. “I can’t get enough of great love stories.” — Meghan Markle

Great love stories have a way of pulling us into them. These stories remind us that anything is possible.

27. “Love is like a flower–you have to let it grow.” — John Lennon

Flowers need sun, soil, space, water, and time to flourish. Similarly, love needs the same sort of nurturing and patience to grow into something special.

28. “To be loved by you is a blessing.” — Celine Dion

Quotes about love like Celine Dion’s remind us that love is a privilege. While we may not know why someone loves us, having their ardor isn’t something to be taken lightly.

29. “No one has measured how much our hearts can hold.” — Zelda Fitzgerald

Our hearts have the capacity to love fiercely and passionately. Zelda Fitzgerald’s comment reminds us to never underestimate the heart’s capability to love.

30. “Loving is the act of endless forgiveness.” -Beyoncé

Loving and forgiving go hand in hand. For two people to make their relationship work, they must be quick to forgive and love.

31. “A smile is just the beginning of falling in love.” — Mother Teresa

Love, romantic or platonic, starts with a warm gesture like a smile.

Final Thoughts on Quotes About Love

Love is something all of us need. Whether it’s the love of a significant other, a friend, or family member, it’s important to do all we can to foster a healthy sense of love in all our relationships.

Remember these quotes whenever you need a reminder of how powerful and amazing love is. Wherever you may be and whoever you may be with, remember that true love exists and it will find you soon, if it hasn’t already.

12 Amazing Benefits of Fenugreek Seeds + Side Effects

October 27, 2019 by Power of Positivity

Fenugreek is an extraordinary herb that the people of Western Asia, Persia, and the Mediterranean used as far back in recorded history as 4000 BC. A multipurpose plant, fenugreek seasons food, relieves ailments of the skin and improves overall health. That success record gives rise to its current reputation as a natural supplement with a wide array of benefits for the human body.

But what exactly is fenugreek?

Fenugreek (Latin name: Trigonella foenum-graecum) comes from the Mediterranean and West Asia. You can eat it either fresh or dried. And, you will learn to recognize its oblong yellow or green leaves. Its seeds, methi seeds, are prized for their medicinal value and also commonly used in Turkish, Ethiopian, and Egyptian cooking. Their fragrance is sweet and similar to maple, so fenugreek seeds frequently used to perfume maple-flavored syrup, candy, and other edibles as well as soap and cosmetic products.

But the versatility of fenugreek doesn’t stop with its uses in international cuisine. It also has numerous well-documented health benefits.

The Health Benefits of Fenugreek

1. Fenugreek Can Give You a Luxurious Mane

Most of us know that long, healthy hair begins with a nutritious diet, but did you know that there are specific nutrients you can take to encourage hair growth and shininess? Fenugreek contains a number of those nutrients including protein, potassium, vitamin C, lecithin, iron, and nicotinic acid. The combination of these nutrients can help boost your immune system, improve circulation to your scalp (a big advantage for those dealing with thinning hair or hair loss), strengthen hair follicles, and possibly even help reverse premature graying. However, you should consult with your doctor before adding fenugreek to your diet and take it only in moderation, as excessive quantities of any supplement can be just as harmful as vitamin or mineral deficiencies.

2. Fenugreek Can Help Lower Your Blood Sugar

Among its other healthful properties, fenugreek contains an amino acid known as 4HO-Ile. This acid contains protective factors against diabetes. That’s because they work by increasing insulin sensitivity and secretion. That, in turn, helps to lower the body’s blood sugar. Fenugreek administered to both diabetic and non-diabetic subjects has the same effect on blood sugar levels according to one study. Additionally, these compounds help block the activity of alpha-amylase and sucrase, the enzymes responsible for turning sugars into blood glucose.

3. These Seeds Can Lower Your Cholesterol

As we get older, rising cholesterol levels can wreak havoc on our health. But did you know that fenugreek can help lower cholesterol and triglyceride levels? According to some studies, when taken regularly fenugreek can help lower your total level of cholesterol by up to 16%, and your LDL cholesterol levels anywhere from 10 to 16%.

This is a plus for those fighting high cholesterol, as well as those with a familial history of heart disease. That’s because increased cholesterol levels strongly correlate with increased risk of heart attack, stroke, and peripheral artery disease. For these reasons, regular supplementation with fenugreek combined with a healthy diet and regular exercise can be the difference between cardiac disease and heart-healthy life.

4. The Seeds Can Help Alleviate Menstrual Cramps

Anyone who’s ever had a period will tell you that the cramps are the worst part. Though some women experience only mild to moderate cramps before and during their periods, others deal with cramps so debilitating that relief can only be found in a hot bath or a heating pad. Fortunately, fenugreek is here to help! Fenugreek seeds are rich in the compounds lysine and tryptophan: proteins that can offer pain relief by relaxing the muscles.

5. Fenugreek Can Help Relieve Skin Inflammation

In addition to its muscle-relaxant properties, fenugreek can also help treat inflammations of the skin. Ancient peoples ground the seeds and boiled them in clean water to make a paste. Then, they applied the mixture topically to the skin in affected areas. For maximal effect, fenugreek can also be mixed with other soothing herbs like goldenseal, flaxseed, or slippery elm before application. The mixture can be left on anywhere from one hour to an entire 24 hours, then gently washed off.

6. Fenugreek Can Increase Your Sex Drive

Some studies have shown that a fenugreek regimen can help boost testosterone production in men, increasing libido and promoting a more enjoyable sex life. As men age, it’s common for their testosterone levels to decrease. Obese men also frequently experience a dip in their testosterone production. This condition (also called hypogonadism) is frequently treated with hormone replacement therapy. However, some studies have shown that natural supplements including fenugreek can be equally therapeutic.

7. Fenugreek Can Encourage Breast Milk Production

For new mothers struggling to nurse, fenugreek can give you just the boost you need to help up your milk production and make lactation easier. Practitioners of traditional Asian medicine have recommended fenugreek for exactly this purpose for centuries.

Despite anecdotal evidence dating back to ancient India, a recent study suggests that science should continue to research the usage of this herb for improving lactation.

8. May Be Beneficial for Brain Health

Some studies have found that fenugreek can help reverse symptoms associated with neurodegenerative diseases such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. In one research study, rats given fenugreek seeds in their diets were found to have lower levels of the enzyme acetylcholinesterase, which breaks down the neurotransmitter acetylcholine. Acetylcholine is associated with memory, learning, and other cognitive functions. These same rats were also found to have lower levels of amyloid beta in their brains, which is associated with the slower progression of certain neurodegenerative diseases.

9. This Supplement Can Help Prevent Obesity

Of course, the most important factors influencing your weight are diet and exercise, but some evidence suggests that fenugreek can help you maintain a slim figure if taken regularly. When you consume this herb as a tea, fenugreek seeds work as an appetite suppressant, helping to sate hunger and make consumers feel fuller faster. This function helps aid in increased weight loss in the long term.

10. Fenugreek Seeds Can Soothe Your Digestive Troubles

If you’re one of the numerous Americans who suffer from frequent stomach complaints including IBS or other inflammatory bowel disorders, fenugreek can bring some much-needed relief. If you’re experiencing a loss of appetite, gastritis, constipation, or intestinal cramping, a tea of fenugreek leaves can help relieve pain and reduce the frequency of your symptoms. Because it’s rich in fiber, it can also help promote more regular and healthier bowel movements. This function assists those suffering from constipation.

11. The Seeds Can Help Arthritis Pain

Arthritis is a common affliction among our aging population, and it can cause joint pain severe enough to limit the sufferer’s mobility. Are you living with arthritis pain and you have difficulty finding relief in over-the-counter painkillers? Or, are you reluctant to take more potent prescription painkillers? This herb can be a wonderful natural alternative. Because of its anti-inflammatory properties, fenugreek can help reduce the joint pain associated with arthritis flares. And that restores the quality of life and makes mobility easier.

12. Fenugreek Seeds May Help Lower Your Risk of Cancer

Cancer is an incredibly prevalent fear, and one most of us start thinking about more frequently as we age. Especially if you have existing familial history, the fear of cancer can be profound. Fortunately, fenugreek shows promise in helping to reduce the risk of developing certain cancers by inducing apoptosis (programmed cell death).

Side Effects of Using These Seeds

Like any natural supplement, fenugreek does come with its share of possible side effects. Watch out for these conditions and stay alert for them.

Some of the more common side effects include the following:

Digestive problems (nausea, diarrhea, bloating)
Reduced levels of blood sugar and potassium.

If you know you’re at risk for low blood sugar or potassium, consult with your doctor before you start taking fenugreek. Make sure to report any side effects that may emerge to your physician.

Because of the risk of side effects, do not start taking multiple new herbal supplements simultaneously. This can make it difficult to determine which supplement is responsible for the side effects. Instead, supplements should only be introduced into your diet one at a time. Additionally, you should monitor them closely for the development of side effects before adding more.

Final Thoughts on Making Fenugreek Part of Your Diet

Fenugreek is not a cure-all. However, evidence documents it as an aid to help fight a wide variety of health conditions. Furthermore, it can promote good hair, skin, and heart health, as well as proving to be a formidable ally in the battle against cancer.

Although you should not use fenugreek to take the place of any doctor-recommended medical treatment, it can be a valuable source of support to your current medications. Also, it adds value to your diet and exercise regimen.

Make sure to do your research before you start taking fenugreek. Finally, introduce new herbs into your diet under professional supervision.

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