We’ve all grown up being used to labels and classifications for things, including our sexuality. Before recent times, most people identified as gay, straight, or bisexual. But in today’s world, a lot of folks have realized the fluidity of sexuality. For example, maybe you have been dating a man for quite some time. But find yourself attracted to a female suddenly. This means your sexual orientation doesn’t fall on either end. instead, it constantly goes back and forth. Many have realized that the gender of a person doesn’t matter so much as the substance, personality, and character underneath their skin. They have understood that you can like both genders without labeling yourself.
Of course, if you feel comfortable labeling your sexuality, there’s nothing wrong with that, just as there’s nothing wrong with choosing NOT to give yourself a label. However, if you’ve felt pressured to identify with one sexual orientation but don’t care about labels, you’ll want to keep reading.
Why You Don’t Need to Label Yourself Sexually
Society generally loves to label everything. That’s because it gives us a sense of order and helps to categorize things. Labels, in some ways, help to get to know a person. For example, as far as diet goes, it helps to know if someone follows a vegan, vegetarian, or omnivorous lifestyle. You label yourself regarding what occupation you have, what music you like, and many other aspects of life. In some ways, labels serve a very valid purpose.
However, when you become so fixated on labels that you identify solely with the words and can’t dream of straying from that label, then it becomes a problem.
If you’re a woman reading this, let’s just say that you’ve dated men your whole life. But you suddenly feel a connection with a woman. If you identified as straight before, you’d have difficulty simply getting over that label before considering flirting with the woman. If, however, you chose not to label yourself sexually, then it wouldn’t seem like such a big deal.
When you give up the sexual labels, you give yourself the freedom to live whatever lifestyle you choose without adhering to a certain categorization. You liberate yourself from the box you’ve put yourself in, and can live more openly and carefree. Labels can become limiting because if you ever choose to change your lifestyle, you’ll say, “But wait, I’m ______, I can’t do that!”
However, outside of labels, you’ll understand that we can change our whole life instantly, as we have that power. It all lies within the mind, so labels, in a way, can limit you from reaching your full potential. Getting caught up in sexual labels might hinder you from meeting someone you connect with just because you feel you can’t date a man or a woman due to your orientation.
Today, we have more labels for sexuality than ever: gay, straight, lesbian, queer, bisexual, asexual, pansexual, sapiosexual, fluid, and so on. Many people try to find the right category for them but find themselves confused and frustrated. Does the label matter that much? It may help others figure out what gender you like(if any), but what if you change your mind one day? Will you attach yourself to another label or give them up altogether?
If you still feel skeptical about this whole ‘fluid sexuality’ thing, look at this interesting theory published in Biological Reviews. Psychologist Dr. Satoshi Kanazawa suggests that sexual fluidity arose in women as a method of ‘reducing conflict and tension in polygamous relationships.”
So, maybe we evolved to not have sexual labels as a way to reduce conflict and engage in new partnerships. Maybe the human mind just wants connection overall and doesn’t care which gender it happens with. Or, maybe sexual fluidity occurs, most importantly, because humans are complex, and you can’t throw people made up of many identities into one box.
Only you can decide your sexual orientation. But just remember that if you don’t fit into one label, you don’t have to feel bad about it. Keep an open mind, and enjoy life, above all else, no matter who you choose to enjoy it with!
