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20 Common Causes of Anxiety & Depression

March 1, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Most people with anxiety and depression can’t provide an exact reason why they developed it in the first place. Aside from an individual experiencing a traumatic event, comprehending what exactly happened to cause it is often a futile endeavor.

In most instances, depression and uneasiness do not have a single cause. Medical professionals state that depression and anxiety surface from a few factors, including genes, past experiences, current circumstances, and others.

Understanding why one is suffering is not the most important thing. People with the disorders must understand that it is not their fault, as it can happen to anyone.

However, some lifestyle choices or experiences can contribute to or directly cause mental health concerns. The condition may be acute (short-term) or chronic (long-term), depending on the underlying cause. Knowing this is powerful, as we can counteract some things that instigate the conditions.

“Don’t believe everything you hear – even in your own mind.” – Dr. Daniel Amen

Common Lifestyle Causes of Depression and Anxiety

1. Substance Abuse

People abuse substances such as recreational drugs and alcohol for many reasons. Substance abuse is a habit that may form at any time, including during childhood and teenage years.

Drugs and alcohol can rewire your brain’s neurochemistry, disrupting communication between neurotransmitters. The neurotransmitters are the chemicals that allow your brain and body to communicate, and they control every physical and psychological experience. Individuals susceptible to depression and anxiety who engage in drug use are more likely to develop mental illness.

2. Overworking

Becoming exhausted because of too much of a heavy workload causes stress reactions within the body. When the brain is exposed to chronic stress, its delicate chemical balance is interrupted.

3. Grief and Trauma

A common talking point in the news is the prevalence of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in military members. Being a witness or victim of violence can trigger a biological reaction that evolves into full-blown uneasiness and depression.

Feelings of grief following the death of a loved one or friend, though uncomfortable, can serve as a good healer. However, prolonged grief in susceptible demographics can cause mental health issues.

4. Anxiety About Health Conditions

People diagnosed with untreatable health conditions may be at an increased risk of becoming depressed. Age-related illnesses or diagnoses of a terminal condition such as Parkinson’s Disease, Alzheimer’s, cardiovascular disease, or cancer often induce panic and helplessness. Of course, prolonged exposure to these feelings can manifest as depression.

5. Sudden and Stressful Changes

During the infamous Wall Street Crash of 1929, which led to the loss of billions of dollars and laid the foundation for the Great Depression, 23,000 people committed suicide. At the time, this number was the highest number of suicides ever in one year.

Sudden and stressful changes like what occurred on Wall Street can happen in your life. These events quickly cause anxiety and depression as life changes drastically.

6. Poor Self-Image

Low self-esteem and poor self-image can trigger anxious feelings and depression. People with self-esteem problems are more likely to engage in behaviors considered a health risk, including smoking, alcohol and substance abuse, and poor diet.

Research shows that there is a correlation between negative self-image and suicide. A continually negative picture of oneself can lead to obsessive thought patterns about appearance, money, reputation, and other aspects of your life.

7. Isolation or Rejection

Humans are naturally social creatures, requiring social interaction to function. We long for intimacy and desire another person to care for, love, and support. Isolation, separation from other human beings, rejection, and refusal of others to accept or consider you as part of something, are counterintuitive to the brain’s innate social cognitive functions.

As a result, the brain adopts opposing thought processes and forms neural networks that disturb its natural chemistry. In short, isolation and rejection can lead to a neurochemical imbalance.

8. Caffeine

While you might rely on your morning cup of coffee to wake up, it could trigger your negativity. It increases alertness, attention, and cognitive function, but only if you have a cup or two. Studies show that people with anxiety are more sensitive to the effects of caffeine.

Caffeine can trigger anxious feelings, and it could make you feel nervous and moody, too. Plus, it increases your heart rate, body heat, and breathing rate. You don’t have to cut it out of your diet entirely, but cutting back can make a difference in your life.

Caffeine isn’t always bad for you, but you must consume it in moderation. Plus, everyone has a different tolerance level, so paying attention to your limits is essential. It is a stimulant that triggers your fight or flight response and can cause you to feel jittery. Your body will feel like it is in a frightening situation.

One way to cut back is to substitute your caffeinated beverages with something else. If you choose coffee for the hot temperature, switch to non-caffeinated tea instead. Or, you could try flavored water if you drink caffeine because you need more flavor than plain water offers.

9. Past Experiences Contribute to Depression and Anxiety

Situations from your childhood or other times during the past can cause uneasiness later in life. Stress and trauma stay with you, even when you think you’ve gotten through it.

These experiences will have a long-term impact on your mental health and could involve physical or emotional abuse, losing a parent, neglect, racism, and social exclusion. Additionally, if your parents don’t treat you kindly or are overprotective, it can trigger depression later.

10. Family History

You could have a genetic predisposition to mental illness, so pay attention to whether or not the condition runs in your family. Having a parent or other relative who has depression or anxiety doesn’t always mean you will, but it does increase the risk.

11. Financial Issues

Worrying about finances can quickly trigger uneasiness. Whether you’re worried about saving money or paying down debt, you might become overwhelmed. Plus, unexpected expenses or fears involving money can cause mental health conditions.

If you can’t overcome your financial issues, you might want to see a professional financial advisor. Once you get your finances under control, you’ll feel much better and experience less uneasiness and depression. If you can’t see a professional, find ways you can cut costs and save more money.
Money provides people with a sense of security, so having financial issues takes away their feeling of being safe. Whether you’re worried about job security, salary, lack of knowledge, debt, wealth comparison, or anything else, it can impact your mental health.

12. Long-term or Chronic Stress

While daily stress like getting stuck in traffic or running late for work can cause stress, it doesn’t turn into anxiety and depression. However, long-term stress can lead to problems and worsening symptoms. Plus, stress can cause you to miss sleep, skip meals, or indulge in drinking and other detrimental behaviors that trigger uneasiness.

Stress is a normal part of life, but too much of it can trigger anxious feelings. Some of the events that could pile up and overwhelm you include:

Career stress or change
Pregnancy or giving birth
Emotion shock from a traumatic event
Physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional abuse
Change in living situation
Relationship or family problems
Death of a loved one
A cluttered home

Learning to cope with stress can help you overcome current struggles and prevent depression from setting in. If you can’t get through it, you might want to reach out to a professional to help you recognize and handle your stressors.

13. Certain Medications Might Cause Anxiety

Some medications can cause uneasiness or depression, and knowing if yours can help you overcome the issue. They make you feel generally unwell, triggering your mind and body in ways that cause anxiety symptoms. Mental health issues occur as a side effect of:

Some psychiatric medications
Medications for physical health concerns
Birth control pills
Cough medicine and over-the-counter decongestants
Weight loss medications
Recreational drugs
Thyroid medications
Medications for ADHD
Narcolepsy medications

If any prescription medications trigger your uneasiness, talk to your doctor about how it makes you feel. They can help you find another option that doesn’t make you feel that way.

14. Lack of Sleep

Not getting enough sleep can cause many issues, including mental health conditions. If you stay up late every day for a long time, it can cause or worsen symptoms. Create a realistic sleep schedule that ensures you get plenty of rest. The CDC states that adults should get at least seven hours of sleep each day because anything less can cause issues.
Sleep deprivation can trigger anxiety, but uneasiness can cause problems sleeping. It turns into a seemingly never-ending cycle, and your condition will worsen as time goes on.

15. Personality Traits

Some personality factors can cause mental health issues, with perfectionists being more likely to develop anxiety or depression than other people. Likewise, those who are easily flustered or timid experience it more frequently. A lack of self-esteem and the desire to control everything can also lead to anxious feelings.

Additionally, people who frequently have negative thoughts can struggle with mental health issues. Being upset or frustrated and saying negative things to yourself can trigger feelings of uneasiness. Try to avoid using negative words and thoughts, refocusing on positive things in your life.

16. An Unhealthy Diet

The foods and beverages you consume can affect your mental health. Some foods worsen your symptoms, triggering depression. Sugar and caffeine are two of the most common foods to cause issues, but they aren’t the only ones. Research shows that carbohydrates can also increase your risk of mental health issues because of the quick changes in blood glucose levels.

Skipping meals can also trigger anxious feelings because it makes your blood sugar drop. It makes you jittery and causes your body to believe something is wrong. Balanced meals give you energy and essential nutrients, allowing you to feel good mentally and physically.

17. Conflict

Arguments and disagreements are conflicts that trigger or worsen mental health conditions. Relationship problems can interfere with every area of your life when they affect your mindset. Learning conflict resolution strategies can make a difference, or you could talk to a professional for tips on how to overcome.

It can be hard to deal with an argument, whether it is with a co-worker, your best friend, a spouse, or a family member. Sometimes even arguing with a random person can trigger the feelings within you.

18. Worrying About a Loved One

Your uneasiness and depression don’t only stem from concerns for yourself. Many times the feelings come from being worried about someone you love. You might worry about something happening to them or how you would cope if something did happen.

Research shows that caregivers often experience anxiety because they constantly worry about the person they care for. Even when there is nothing obvious to worry about, many people have overwhelming thoughts about something serious going wrong.

Anxiety and depression can also occur due to the fear of being separated from a loved one. This situation can occur in children and adults, although many think kids are the only ones who suffer. Adults sometimes think something bad will happen while away from their children, possibly leading to them avoiding separation.

19. Public Speaking or Events

Talking in front of people can trigger anxiety for many people. Even something as simple as talking to your boss could be enough to cause problems for you. However, public speaking in front of a large group can be debilitating.

You can find ways to become more comfortable with public speaking or during events, and a therapist can help you, too. One way to cope is to surround yourself with people who offer positive reinforcement to boost your confidence and help you find comfort in the situation.

Public events can be complex for some people, and being surrounded by strangers doesn’t sound like a good time. Making small talk or interacting with many people can trigger or worsen symptoms. In these events, try to bring someone you’re comfortable with along as a companion to ease the struggle.

20. Changes Within the Brain

Depression can occur because of a chemical imbalance, but many other changes can trigger it, too. Genetics, life stressors, substances, and medical conditions can all affect your brain and how it regulates feelings and moods. Luckily, you can stimulate nerve cell growth to help manage your mood, helping you overcome mental health concerns.

Final Thoughts on Common Causes of Anxiety & Depression

It’s not always easy to identify the cause of your anxiety and depression, but you can try. Identifying the cause can help you overcome the issues and move forward. You deserve happiness, and it’s up to you to find it. Get support and do what you can to feel better and live a fulfilling life.

How Your Brain Changes After A Breakup

March 1, 2017 by Power of Positivity

We’re going to assume, at least for the sake of this article, that you had a recent breakup. You thought you found the one, but things went wrong somehow.

Many people reading this article will concede that such an unfortunate occasion has happened at least once.

The underlying concept you’ll see throughout the article is this: the brain’s complex – and often unknowable – intricately woven circuitry produces complex feelings that arise from any and all situations, whether positive or negative.

Of course, this includes any relationship that has gone awry.

The motivation behind this article is to explain what happens to the brain following a painful breakup. The benefit of such knowledge is noteworthy because we will gain a more comprehensive understanding of the neurocircuitry that accompanies a hard-felt separation. It is our hope, then, that this knowledge will enable you to understand why such emotions occur – and what you can do as a rational being to make the best out of a challenging situation.

Humans are Hardwired for Love, Not a Breakup

“Turning on the reward neurons releases repeated floods of the neurotransmitter dopamine. And the dopamine activates circuits inside the brain that create a craving…In the case of romance, the thing you need more of is your beloved.” – Diane Kelly

Does anyone remember the 1980’s commercial “This is your brain on drugs?” This commercial was a well-intended (though rudimentary) depiction of what occurs in the human brain during drug use. Whether or not one is a fan of this ad, it is challenging to object to its effectiveness. Following extensive research, the Partnership for a Drug-Free America reproduced a more intensive commercial version following a sizeable decrease in drug abuse cases.

As it turns out, the human brain reacts similarly to love. Indeed, strong emotion is the root of many schoolyard arguments, family feuds, and wars throughout human history.

Simply put, the numerous effects of love on the brain are strikingly similar to those produced by drugs. Like drugs can induce a stagnant effect on the human brain, love (especially deep love) can result in the same – if not exacerbated – neurological effects.

A neuroscientist at the Einstein College of Medicine explains love’s effect on the brain as follows: “Other kinds of social rejection are much more cognitive…(Romantic rejection) is a life changing thing, and involves systems that are not at the same level as feeling hungry or thirsty.”

In other words, when someone we love rejects us, it is as harmful, if not more so, to the brain as social needs (friendships) and primal needs (sustenance).

Wow…can’t say we saw that coming. Wonder what Dr. Oz or Dr. Phil would say on the matter. Anyway, digression aside, let’s get down to it.

This Is What Happens To Your Brain After A Breakup

When we separate or reject somebody we love, the physical effects – shallow breathing, nausea, chest constriction, etc. – are all very real phenomena.

Studies demonstrate that individuals amid a breakup show disproportionate activity in the brain regions determining the body’s response to physical pain and distress. This is potentially dangerous, and the more intimate the relationship, the likelier that adverse and extremely harmful physical side effects arise.

Unfortunately, this counterproductive cognitive response negatively affects other physical channels, including higher blood pressure, weakening of the immune system, and complications of the digestive system. These physical symptoms may persist for days, weeks, or months following a separation, with the duration of such effects highly dependent upon the individual.

Perhaps the most tragic response to heartbreak is a condition known as Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy (aka, “Broken Heart Syndrome), which produces stress hormones in extreme excess, which can, sadly, result in a heart attack, stroke, or even death.

(Sigh…)

What this means (and doesn’t)

Human beings desire to be loved from birth to death (and perhaps beyond). Regardless of the rapid advancements in neuroscience, we cannot – nor should we presume to – understand the complex mechanisms of love in our brain, body, and soul.

Experience (and science) tells us that love and human existence are inseparable. On the positive side, this inseparability enables us to love and cherish those we hold dear despite any circumstances. On the not-so-positive side, such findings elaborate upon – for better or worse – our dependence on others for connection, friendship, love, and nourishment.

For those currently going through the heartbreak that many of us have endured, it’s essential to know that you are not alone. Human beings, by evolutionary design, are resilient creatures. Our brains have the superlative capability of learning, adapting, and rewiring to any past, present, or future situation.

Final Thoughts on Healing After a Breakup

To those victimized by a former or current lover, we leave you with the following poem from Dorothy Parker (from The Complete Poems of Dorothy Parker):

‘In youth, it was a way I had,
To do my best to please.
And change, with every passing lad
To suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know
And do the things I do,
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you.”

We wish you peace, happiness, and love in any current and future relationships, dear readers.

15 Questions To Ask Every Morning That Will Reveal Your True Personality

February 28, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Are you on a journey to discover your true personality?

Before we get deep into the article, ask yourself this question: “Do I have a clear sense of who I am?”

If we are to poll everyone on this question, it’s likely that the majority of responses would be “Yes.” After all, we’re (mostly) adults now, having undergone the process of “finding ourselves” – an at-best cloudy notion that assigns a certain period for this “self-discovery.”

But then there are those who would answer “No” to our hypothetical poll. There are many reasons why someone would respond this way. For example, the wanderers and dreamers and those never feel settled into this existence (more on this later.) Either answer is okay – and can even be good. It all depends on the individual and their circumstances.

The idea that we all have “place” in this world is, in itself, both debatable and subjective. Maybe we don’t want to have or want “a place”(e.g. “the wanderers and dreamers). Some defiantly ask “what is “a place” in this world supposed to mean anyways?”

Perhaps we’re posing the wrong question. Instead, maybe we should ask “Do I know my identity?”

What is our identity?

“It is hard, so terribly hard, to please yourself. Far from being the easy thing that it sounds like, it is almost the hardest thing in the world, because we are not always comfortable with that true self that lies deep within us.”

Put simply, our identity is the way we see ourselves. The vantage point of identity also influences how we view others and the world.

Our identity encompasses and intertwines multiple human elements. It is made up of our culture, family relationships, exposure to stress and trauma, life experiences, social relationships, personality, and other characteristics.

Our identity is also malleable and even fragile. Internal and external influences often shape our identity for better or worse, and can even incite an identity crisis – also known as a “loss of identity” or “losing oneself.”

When we lose our true identity, every facet of our lives is affected: work, relationships, disposition, motivation, and so on. A loss of identity is often perceived by the individual as “feeling lost,” often leaving someone bewildered and unsure about life and any meaning behind it.

Events that can impact personality

We experience a loss of identity for many reasons. Here are some common ones:

(1) Self-neglect: Putting the needs of others before our own, leading to a failure to recognize the worthiness and deservedness of our needs, goals, and dreams.

(2) Detachment: Separating from our inner-monologue and a loss of emotional intelligence. Instead of centering in on our thoughts, feelings, and emotions, we dull them by participating in self-gratification. Whether through technology, food, alcohol, drugs, or something else, we’ll (sometimes unknowingly) delay self-discovery.

(3) Life events: Transitioning from role-to-role due to the demands of life. Going through a divorce, job loss or other traumatic event often manipulates our brain chemistry and distorts our self-perception.

(4) Social expectations: Society can be cruel – something that we discover at a relatively young age. Any unique aspect of a person can be critiqued; from one’s appearance, intelligence, sexual orientation, perceived “quirks,” income, job title…on and on it goes.

When we’re looked upon as outsiders, we either adapt or isolate ourselves. Either way, such people will always “feel different.” As a result – in an attempt to navigate through life – we attempt “fit in” when necessary.

This false persona comes at a high price: loss of one’s identity. Some within this “group” resort to drug abuse or become victims of mental illness. Tragically, some people take their own precious lives, thinking that they’ll never be “understood.”

Rediscovering your identity

Now that we’ve defined identity, described potential influences, and touched on the ramifications of losing one’s identity, we are now in a good position to discover or rediscover our individualism.

Discovery necessitates both an inquisitive and open mind. To unearth our true identity is to acknowledge (answer to) certain queries to bring this true identity to our consciousness’s surface ultimately.

It is important to understand that repeated questioning of thoughts, behaviors, and emotions is necessary for this self-discovery to take place. As such, it is suggested that we do so at least once per day, preferably in the morning when we’re about to set out on the journey ahead.

Finally, here are the questions we should ask ourselves each morning:

1. Do I have short-term and long-term goals? What are they?

2. What am I, or have been, ashamed of in my life?

3. What consistently brings about anxiety or a sense of worry?

4. What or who gives me the most comfort? Is this source of comfort healthy?

5. Putting aside fear and uncertainty, what would I love to do?

6. Where and when do I feel safe? Unsafe?

7. What achievement am I proudest of?

8. What does my inner critic say about me? (Write them down)

9. Do I practice self-care and self-compassion? How?

10. What do I have to be grateful for? (There should be something here)

11. What do I dream about? What thoughts or emotions do they bring, if any?

12. Do I enjoy being around people or do I prefer solitude? (Either is fine, just know your tendencies.)

13. What do I most enjoy doing?

14. When my life is dark, what or who do I turn to? Why?

15. When I’m stressed, do I react rationally or impulsively?

(Bonus 5 questions!)

16. Am I an early riser or night owl? Can I make any changes to put my best self forward?

17. What are my passions? Am I living them out?

18. What failure still haunts me to this day? Maybe it’s time to let go?

19. What values do I hold dear? Am I adhering to these values?

20. What are my strengths? Weaknesses? (Write them down)

We sincerely hope that answering these questions reveals more about the special person you arh. Appreciate yourself, love yourself, acknowledge what you’d like to change, and find your true identity!

7 Intelligent Ways to Deal with Toxic People

February 28, 2017 by Power of Positivity

All of us experience the inevitable turbulence of life unfolding. We have our extreme ups, extreme downs, and everything in between. We will all behave in a way that can be perceived as toxic at one time or another. Does this make us toxic people? No, it does not.

One’s behavior does not necessarily indicate one’s identity. In fact, most times, they’re mutually exclusive. According to psychologists, a toxic person is not the whole person; but their behavior towards others, particularly those in any relationship, which often bears the brunt of such behavior.

Toxic people distinguish themselves by their propensity to “create drama in their lives, or be surrounded by it; try to manipulate or control others; be needy (“it is all about them all the time”); use others to meet their needs (such as “narcissistic parents”); be extremely critical of themselves and others, bemoaning their bad fortune and others’ good fortune, abuse substances or harm themselves in other ways, and be unwilling (or unable) to seek help,” according to Jodie Gale, MA, a psychotherapist and life coach.

In short, a toxic person negatively consistently and adversely affects people around them through their (intentional or unintentional) toxic behavior.

“When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth, just like you did.” – Jill Blakeway

Here are 7 ways to deal with toxic people – and toxic behavior – in a positive manner:

1. Do not rationalize their toxic behavior.

Many people do not like conflict, something that is known as conflict avoidance. As such, recipients of toxic behavior will allow the behavior to continue to pacify the toxic person. Recipients that wish to avoid contention will permit the toxic person to ramble. However, such an approach is short-sighted. Yes, the toxic person may “get what they want,” but guess who they’ll seek out the next time?

This brings us to the second point…

2. Make your voice heard.

Not everyone who displays toxic behavior is a “bully,” but some are. Toxic bullies will often spew their toxicity to others as a means to an end. When such behavior is evident, it is time to make your voice heard and oppose such acts of intimidation. Oftentimes, the “bully,” when confronted with resistance, will back down and move on.

On a related matter, sometimes it is necessary to…

3. Make a stand.

You deserve to be treated as a human being – with courtesy, respect, and dignity. When someone violates this socially-accepted contract, it should be considered an act of aggression.

This is when it is necessary to set clear boundaries. Fortunately, you don’t need to get into a long-winded dialogue with them. Abruptly walking away from a toxic conversation can be enough, for example.

4. Exude (sensible) compassion.

As mentioned, it is necessary to separate one’s toxic behavior from their “true selves.” When we know that someone is acting negatively due to whatever reason; personal problems, work-related stress, medical problems, etc., it’s appropriate to respond compassionately.

However, practicing sensible compassion does not mean becoming someone else’s pin cushion. When the line is crossed, it is necessary to speak up.

5. Move on from toxic people, if necessary.

Exposure to toxic behavior on an all-too-frequent basis can be mentally and physically exhausting. We’ll instinctively know when a person is pushing us past comfort zone – and it is sometimes necessary to get away.

While this “exit strategy” may require some fortitude on our part, it is instrumental for our well-being. Be strong, remain confident and simply let go.

6. Don’t take things personally.

It can be hard to “not taking things personally,” can’t it? Especially when said advice applies to a toxic person. This behavior is most evident in a direct attack (e.g., a verbal assault) towards you.

Interacting with a toxic person – at some point in time – will inevitably result in something being said that’s insulting, dehumanizing, embarrassing, and unnecessary. Exchanges of this type will almost certainly antagonize us in some way. Thus, it is important to remember that “it’s not me, it’s you.”

7. Get some alone time.

How we deal with toxic behavior strongly depends on the person involved.

For example, if a toxic colleague sits across the office, it’s easier to devise a plan to avoid negative rhetoric. If it’s a close friend or family member – a spouse, kid, “BFF,” etc. – the situation (and the “answer”) can be a bit (okay, a lot) more obscure.

The closer we are to someone, the more time we spend with them. As such, in addition to helping them, we must prioritize our well-being. One of the best ways to do this is to plan (and make known) your designated alone time.

References:
Tartakovsky, M., M.S. (2014, February 26). What’s a Toxic Person & How Do You Deal With One? Retrieved February 23, 2017, from https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/02/28/whats-a-toxic-person-how-do-you-deal-with-one/

Researchers Reveal 10 Things That Make Kids Happier

February 28, 2017 by Power of Positivity

Childhood is a special time in one’s life. It is a time of discovery, play, wonder, and amusement at the world as the child gets to know the world around them. For the parents, this time can bring about a sense of worry as they seek to ensure the child’s health and raise them to be happier.

Of course, life happens – to both the child and the parents – which can affect one’s childhood years. Regardless of circumstance, the child’s happiness almost always comes first to those who love them.

Here, we combine scientific research and childhood happiness. More specifically, we will look at ten scientifically proven tips to help ensure a happy and healthy childhood.

Whether you’re a parent, a want-to-be parent, or someone who loves kids, we hope that what you read below will provide great insight into making for a healthier and happier child.

Here are 10 (scientifically proven!) tips to make the little one happier:

“One of the luckiest things that can happen to you in life is, I think, to have a happy childhood.” – Agatha Christie

1. Give Them Plenty of Play Time

The primary responsibility of a kid is – or at least should be – to play. Yes, the kid will eventually have homework, extracurricular stuff, and so on; but from toddler to adolescence, they should be given the freedom to have fun.

Peter Gray, a child psychologist and a professor at Boston College, states, “Children learn the most important lessons in life from other children, not from adults…they cannot learn, or are much are much less likely to learn, in interactions with adults.”

So, tell them to “go outside and play!”

2. Take Argument and Heavy Discussions Elsewhere

Kid’s brains develop at an extraordinary rate during early childhood. When they see and hear about adult-like problems and uncertainties, the child’s delicate psychological state can be negatively affected, potentially making them worried and insecure.

Children should not hear stressful conversations from adults – it is most definitely not the time.

3. Don’t Compare Them To Others–They Will Be Happier

The pressure to succeed in today’s society can make it enticing to instill an early sense of competitiveness – and some adults do so by comparing them to someone else. Sometimes, adults will also point out desirable personality traits in another child, hoping to duplicate them in the other.

Researchers say that such comparative tendencies can adversely affect a child’s confidence and sense of self.

4. Teach The Benefits Of Negative Emotions

Pointing out the obvious – a child is not very mature. Almost every kid will have spontaneous outbursts of anger, envy, sadness, etc. This behavior presents a good learning opportunity for the adult.

Dr. John Gottman at the University of Washington cites the popular tendency of adults to address a child’s perceived “misbehavior” – their negative emotions – by doling out some punishment. A better way is to acknowledge the behavior is by teaching the child that everyone experiences negative emotions, and finding ways to teaching the child how to deal with their emotions constructively.

5. Acknowledge Their Efforts

The child is going to reach the age when he or she knows that hard work is needed to get ahead. It is important to recognize when the child pushes themselves to accomplish something.

Talking about cognitive tasks during childhood, Dr. Carol S. Dweck at Stanford says: “Our message to parents is to focus on the process the child engages in, such as trying hard or focusing on the task – what specific things they’re doing rather than ‘you’re so smart, you’re so good at this…what (the adult) does early matters.”

6. Value Family Traditions

Having a variety of things that a family does together is a good sign of a stable household. Indeed, stability is an important aspect of childhood development.

According to the Child Development Institute, having regular family time induces five main benefits: the child feels important and loved; the child observes positive adult traits; adults can observe and learn more about their child’s weaknesses to guide them better; the child can verbalize their thoughts and feelings, and the parent and child develop a stronger bond.

7. Let Them Take Chances

Children require a certain amount of supervision. Still, adults can overdo it by monitoring their every move. This “overparenting,” however, is counterproductive to development.

Researchers, in an article published in the Journal of Psychologists and Counsellors in Schools, write: “Does an extreme attentiveness to a child and their imagined needs and issues, encourage parents to reduce their demands on their child, resulting in the child rarely facing adverse situations, learning to cope, and acquiring resilience, maturity, and other essential life skills? The current study raises the disturbing possibility that the answer is yes.”

8. Give Them A Sense of (Individual) Responsibility

Expanding on the last point, it is important to allow children to complete responsibilities (e.g. chores, homework) without micromanaging them.

Why? According to child psychologists, excessive oversight can manifest into the child developing an “I can’t do this alone” attitude. While some attention – and even, discipline – is necessary for a child to recognize the consequences of abdicating responsibility, inordinate supervision is ineffectual.

9. Create Happier Memories

In a multi-experiment study undertaken by two Harvard professors, adults who recalled good childhood memories “(seemed) to summon a heightened sense of moral purity.”

Researchers note the participants “were more likely to help the experimenters with an extra task, judge unethical behavior harshly and donate money to charity when they had actively remembered their childhood.”

So, in creating happy memories for the child, you may be preparing them to be happier and benevolent adults.

10. Be Happy Yourself!

Children learn by what they see and hear, for better or worse. The child is more likely to reciprocate if an adult exhibits positive behavior. According to Carolyn Cowan, a psychologist at the University of California: “children do not fare well if the adults aren’t taking care of themselves and their relationships.”

5 Things That Hurt Your Sleep (And How to Avoid Them)

February 28, 2017 by Power of Positivity

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine and the Sleep Research Society recommend that adults aged 18-60 years sleep at least 7 hours each night to promote optimal health and well-being.

Sleeping less than seven hours per day is associated with an increased risk of developing chronic conditions, such as diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, and frequent mental distress. – Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Did you know that lack of sleep is a public health concern or epidemic by U.S. public health institutions? Called sleep deprivation or sleep deficiency, the National Sleep Foundation (NSF) notes the condition affects “45 percent of Americans…(affecting their daily activities at least once in the past seven days.”

An immense amount of science and research subsists, yet nearly half of all Americans still do not get enough sleep on a regular basis. Part of this apparent disregard for the importance of sleep can be ascribed to the fact that unlike most epidemics (e.g. smoking), information pertaining to the importance of shuteye is not widely dispersed to the public.

But some of us have only ourselves to blame. Those that do not prioritize sleep almost always have some kind of habit that takes precedence over it.

Here, we take a look at five things that disrupt your sleep, including habits, and how to avoid them. We’ll also suggest how to overcome these difficulties.

Here are 5 things that hurt your sleep (and how to avoid them):

1. Problem: Feeling tired, but the mind will not stop racing.

Despite the mind/body connection that most of us accept as truth, at times they are at odds. Your body desperately needs shuteye, but your brain will not yield to the body’s demands. Instead, your mind races; reminding you of stuff that needs to be done, and other uncertainties that haven’t settled in your mind.

Solution: Allocate some time to “unwind.”

Most of us work hard and are pressed for time, but we still need to enjoy life. During the evening, many of us reach for the remote or do something else to procure some stimulation. Such activities are fine permitting that we understand our sleep schedule. To “ease into” sleep is the best way to do nod off. The best way to nod off is to do something relaxing, such as reading or taking a warm bath.

2. Problem: Waking up shortly before the alarm.

The circadian rhythm, aka the sleep/wake cycle, is an entrenched habit that we all have. For light sleepers, two things this cycle doesn’t appreciate is light or noise, no matter how subtle. A common example: waking up an hour before the alarm goes off feels atrocious. We’re still tired and dazed but can’t go back to sleep.

Solution: Practice having a regular sleeping schedule.

As mentioned, our sleep/wake cycle is a deep-rooted habit. For early risers and light sleepers who consistently wake up earlier than necessary, readjusting this cycle can be difficult. However, there are a few things that can help: refrain from anything stimulating; go to bed earlier; avoid ambient light and wear ear plugs or a night mask to minimize early-morning noise or light.

3. Problem: Restlessness during sleep time.

Experiencing consistent wakefulness during the night is considered a form of insomnia. While not everyone can be diagnosed as an insomniac, there plenty of reasons why someone may feel that way. Restlessness can be ascribed to a number of things: a high-fat diet, drinking before bedtime, stress, and body aches among them.

Solution: Eat a healthy meal before bed.

It can be challenging to pinpoint exactly what is causing this period of restlessness. One solution is to consume a meal of lean protein and complex carbs prior to sleeping. Lean protein and complex carbs help to stimulate certain neurotransmitters that produce a relaxing effect on the brain. If you’re knowingly violating certain sleep hygiene habits, such as those mentioned above, the fix is a bit easier. Just stop doing them. Should the cycle continue itself, it is advised to schedule a doctor’s visit.

4. Problem: Working at night or being a “night owl”

There are two types of people: those that thrive working during the daytime, and those more productive during the evening (again, part of that circadian rhythm thing.) In the event that your work requires production into the late evening hours, it can be burdensome to correct any sleep-related problems.

Solution: Adjust your schedule according to your sleep habits, if possible.

First addressing the mandatory work-related issue; the best course of action is to examine if and when you can produce work prior to the late hours. Should this scheduling become a serious problem, it may be time to discuss other options with your employer. Concerning the day lark/night owl thing, well, if you’re getting an adequate 7 to 9 hours of sleep, and not suffering any adverse consequences, keep on keeping on.

It all depends on your schedule, in other words.

5. Problem: Problems sleeping with another

We can see you married folk nodding your collective heads in agreement with this one: sleeping with your significant other can be disruptive. This is especially true if he or she happens to snore or toss and turn. Also, if one is a night owl while the other is an early riser, these problems exacerbate. There is actually a medical term used to describe all of the above: “sleep incompatibility.”

Solution: Try to treat the underlying issues of “sleep incompatibility.”

In the event that an underlying medical condition is causing sleep incompatibility, a physician specializing in sleep medicine, otolaryngology, or neurology can prescribe an appropriate treatment. For the night owl/morning lark couple, the solution requires communication and compromise. An agreed upon sleeping solution or arrangement shouldn’t be too difficult.

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Common Lifestyle Causes of Depression and Anxiety

1. Substance Abuse

2. Overworking

3. Grief and Trauma

4. Anxiety About Health Conditions

5. Sudden and Stressful Changes

6. Poor Self-Image

7. Isolation or Rejection

8. Caffeine

9. Past Experiences Contribute to Depression and Anxiety

10. Family History

11. Financial Issues

12. Long-term or Chronic Stress

13. Certain Medications Might Cause Anxiety

14. Lack of Sleep

15. Personality Traits

16. An Unhealthy Diet

17. Conflict

18. Worrying About a Loved One

19. Public Speaking or Events

20. Changes Within the Brain

Final Thoughts on Common Causes of Anxiety & Depression

Humans are Hardwired for Love, Not a Breakup

This Is What Happens To Your Brain After A Breakup

What this means (and doesn’t)

Final Thoughts on Healing After a Breakup

What is our identity?

Events that can impact personality

Finally, here are the questions we should ask ourselves each morning:

Here are 7 ways to deal with toxic people – and toxic behavior – in a positive manner:

1. Do not rationalize their toxic behavior.

2. Make your voice heard.

3. Make a stand.

4. Exude (sensible) compassion.

5. Move on from toxic people, if necessary.

6. Don’t take things personally.

7. Get some alone time.

References: Tartakovsky, M., M.S. (2014, February 26). What’s a Toxic Person & How Do You Deal With One? Retrieved February 23, 2017, from https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/02/28/whats-a-toxic-person-how-do-you-deal-with-one/

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Here are 10 (scientifically proven!) tips to make the little one happier:

1. Give Them Plenty of Play Time

2. Take Argument and Heavy Discussions Elsewhere

3. Don’t Compare Them To Others–They Will Be Happier

4. Teach The Benefits Of Negative Emotions

5. Acknowledge Their Efforts

6. Value Family Traditions

7. Let Them Take Chances

8. Give Them A Sense of (Individual) Responsibility

9. Create Happier Memories

10. Be Happy Yourself!

Here are 5 things that hurt your sleep (and how to avoid them):

1. Problem: Feeling tired, but the mind will not stop racing.

2. Problem: Waking up shortly before the alarm.

3. Problem: Restlessness during sleep time.

4. Problem: Working at night or being a “night owl”

5. Problem: Problems sleeping with another

The Community

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Rise and Shine On! Master Your Day with the Ultimate Positive Morning Guide + Checklist

Stay Connected With

Us

Every day is a day to shine. Shine on!

References:
Tartakovsky, M., M.S. (2014, February 26). What’s a Toxic Person & How Do You Deal With One? Retrieved February 23, 2017, from https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/02/28/whats-a-toxic-person-how-do-you-deal-with-one/

Rise and Shine On!
Master Your Day with the Ultimate Positive Morning Guide + Checklist